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S2. E1: 'The Power of Three' | Triangle Agency Campaign
19 Plays2 days ago
The agents have been assembled. The paperwork has been filed. The watercooler is cooled. These are the Triangle Agency Stories.
This an improvised comedy roleplaying podcast using the 'Triangle Agency' system by Caleb Zane Huett & Sean Ireland.
Music provided by 'Blood Boy', find them on Spotify.
- Nate Valentine as 'Felix Fuzzworth'
- Ivana Mendez as 'Barabelle'
- Tucker Dally Johnston as 'Stewbert Bermire'
- Paul Emrich as 'The General Manager'
Email us at BeatOurQuest@Gmail.com or find us on most social media @BeatOurQuest.
Join our Discord at: https://discord.gg/3GAJ8NPvvF
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Transcript
Introduction to Beat Our Quest
00:00:00
Speaker
This is Beat Our Quest, an improvised comedy role-playing podcast using the Triangle Agency system. And whether you do or do not know what a TPS report is, you're in the right place.
00:00:15
Speaker
You find yourself in a smoky, candlelit ritual room. surrounded by cloak figures walking with unusual brass instruments, you see one of them walk slowly to a dais.
00:00:31
Speaker
Behind them, on the walls, are portraits of various historical figures and celebrities of significance in history. Ivana, would you like to introduce yourself?
Character Introductions and Society's Theme
00:00:43
Speaker
My name's Barabel. I am a mother of one, free spirit, with fantastic organization skills a kick-ass brownie recipe. And can we have you now giving the closing speech for the ah ceremony you're participating in? What the fuck? And everybody, please remember that on Wednesday, we will honor our patron, Miss Spears.
00:01:17
Speaker
And I point to a picture of Britney Spears who's on the wall. Remember that in your cars, the only music we are allowed to blast is Mrs. Spears' music because we are trying to what? And everyone says with me, bring her back.
00:01:36
Speaker
Bring her back. Thank you and have a great weekend. Oh my god. Stay dry out there.
Humorous Middle Child Discussion
00:01:44
Speaker
the the hooded masses all take off their robes and they're all excitedly make their way to the back room where there's pastries and baked goods and coffees and they're all eating and mingling amongst each other. They are a part of a secret society. The secret... What is the name of your group again? It's the...
00:02:01
Speaker
It's the Secret Society of the Middle Children. It's the Secret Society of Middle Children, an organization devoted to the... To the lineage and furthering Of middle children in society.
00:02:19
Speaker
We have various projects ongoing that might or might not involve trying to promote middle children to be in charge of big organic organizations, government positions, or entities within the world. Tucker has a real-life legitimate question. Yeah.
00:02:37
Speaker
Is Britney Spears a middle child? You are correct. She is How much research did you have to do to find real life celebrities who are real children? Oh, I'm fucked. Oh, yeah. I got, I got lists.
00:02:50
Speaker
Oh no. This meeting is coming to a close. And as you're gathering your things, you go to your little private office and you have one of those Manila dossiers of up and coming middle children in society who you think you might want to keep tabs on, you know, the middle child of the secretary of state, ah the middle child of ah famous actors and such. And as you're looking through it, you find an index card.
00:03:15
Speaker
falls out of the folder.
Character Traits and Challenges
00:03:17
Speaker
On it is a single red triangle on one side, and on the back is an address, a date, and a time.
00:03:27
Speaker
I'm going to hold it and whisper the power of three. That would be when we then play our theme song. Yeah, that's a pretty good cue.
00:03:40
Speaker
Tucker Dally Johnston as Stuart Stuart Burtmeier. Nate Valentine as Felix Fuzzworth. Ivana Maria Mendez-Babon as Barabel.
00:03:54
Speaker
Cubicles and desks as far as the eye can see. And yet there are two even more conspicuous individuals sitting at a bench. They look like they're waiting to be interviewed for a job that they desperately need.
00:04:08
Speaker
Tucker. Would you like to introduce yourself? Oh, yeah, sure. My name is Tucker, and I play Stuart Burtmeyer, but, you know, people just call me Stubert. It's easier just to say, hey, Stubert, how's your day? And I say, hey, my day's going great. How's your day? And then I, you know, I would know their names in this hypothetical scenario because I'm just a name-knowing kind of guy. You know me.
00:04:31
Speaker
Ha ha ha. I'm Stubert. I'm your roughly late 30s, early 40s, hard to tell, salt and pepper, salt of the earth kind of guy, you know me, you know, just trying to hes trying to get my work done, maybe go out, have a few beers with the boys afterwards, and then, yeah, that's the kind of life I like to live.
00:04:50
Speaker
Ha ha ha ha. Stubert. Nate, would you like to introduce yourself? Sure, yeah. um Felix Fuzworth, pretty normal-looking guy, kind of coppery hair, medium build, average height, average weight, clean cut, nothing standing out too much. Probably look about 25 in human years. I'm a pretty younger younger human, and that's me. That's how we talk, right? Nope. You know, I think I had the toughest time of it, you know, because the I-9 to 105 was totally blocked off by all the all the fire trucks out there going after the going after the fire that came off of 35, you know what I mean?
Felix's Adaptation Journey
00:05:35
Speaker
So if you're coming from the north end, it was almost impossible to get here.
00:05:38
Speaker
Still came in on time. Yeah, I'm... For me, it was, you know, all the the the cars and the fire trucks, lot of dogs chasing after them really gives me the yick. A lot of chaos on the streets.
00:05:52
Speaker
But I don't actually know how to drive, so I didn't have to deal with much of that. But yeah, so many people on the sidewalk. Oh, how'd you get it? You a bus man? You take the bus there? I really just really just walk, you know? I live ah i have a little a small little apartment. you know only It only took about a half hour, but I'm used to it. you know Nice time outside, some fresh air. Half an hour?
00:06:15
Speaker
Boy, golly, I wish it only took me half an hour. Hey, what's your name there, friend? Felix Fuzworth, pleasure. Mr. Fuzworth. Felix, if I can call you Felix, might call you Felix. I don't know yet. ah You can call me Stubert. stupid Felix, just Felix. I'll call you just Felix. How about that? I'm just playing Felix. All right. All right.
00:06:33
Speaker
Felix, this is a friendly energy. This is an energy you've kind of always been like excited to meet. You haven't met a lot of people. We're going to flash back to you leaving... I won't use the phrase childhood home.
00:06:47
Speaker
Instead, I would say you're leaving the home of Dr. Esmeralda Hackwell, the quote unquote mad quote unquote scientist ah who introduced you to this world. i don't like that there are quotes. Ivana, you are playing Dr. Esmeralda Hackwell. One of the fun features of Triangle Agency is all of the background NPCs for our characters are also played by our PCs. So if you find that confusing, listener, good. We're going to flashback to when Felix told Dr. Esmeralda Hackwell that it was time for him to leave and explore the world. Well, Dr. Hackwell. Yes. Yes.
00:07:29
Speaker
I think today's the day. My big boy. Yeah, you're sure this tiny little pamphlet of documents is everything I need to know about blending in with the humans? My big boy, do you think you're ready? i I really do. i you know, i learned how to eat with my hands. I've learned how to use the toilet. You're so good at that, I know.
00:07:48
Speaker
I think, you know, based on our interactions and based on my interaction with your assistant, I think I've got it all down pat. I'm ready to blend in with human society in the city, so I didn't think this day would come.
00:08:01
Speaker
didn't? We've been working towards it for months. Well, when you were small, you were a very slow learner. And okay you've really grown into yourself. I am very proud of you. I just want to remind you, you should always wear some sunblock to protect your skin. Okay. Sunblock. Hold on. Let me write this down. Sunblock.
00:08:22
Speaker
Sunblock. Okay. I give you a little wink. Yeah. Sunblock. Great. Drink water. What are you doing with your eyes? ah The thing where you just closed one of your eyes? Oh, right. We did it.
00:08:34
Speaker
It's in the pamphlet. Just look at the pamphlet. I'll read that one. And I wish you good luck. Great. Thank you so much. And these, the shoes, do I have to wear them all the time? Two of them. Yeah. And I just never take them off.
00:08:50
Speaker
Well, you can take you can take them off, just not in public. Okay, great. that I can handle that. That sounds doable. Okay, thank you so much. You leave the castle, and you're going down the bridge, and you decide to finally open up the ah the pamphlet that you've been given. And it's small little things, but the big thing that falls out is a business card with a red triangle on it, and a date, and a time, and a location.
00:09:16
Speaker
The power of three. And now we flash forward to Farabelle. You're running a little late and you make your way in to the Triangle Agency building. And there you see Felix and Stubert.
Gathering at the Triangle Agency
00:09:30
Speaker
Hi, good afternoon. Good afternoon. Excuse me. Is someone sitting there? And I'm going to point to the middle seat out of whatever three seats are in front of me. I don't know. Is it occupied? Is it not occupied?
00:09:41
Speaker
No, go ahead. Great. Thank you. This seat that I'm in? You know, you could have it. I'll just scooch on over. There's room for everyone. Yeah. Great. Thank you.
00:09:51
Speaker
Thank you. that soon Do you want some gum? I have gum. Do you want some gum? I have mint. I have some cinnamon. Oh, no, thank you. that's That's great. I have i already ate. Thank you.
00:10:05
Speaker
Stubert, on hearing the word gum, is going to get a little clammy and go, Oh, um, no, I'm not really a big gum guy. Thank you.
00:10:17
Speaker
But, you know, that's very generous of you. My name's... My name's Stubert. ah This here is Felix. We were just talking about how we all got here today. How are you? What's your name, little lady?
00:10:30
Speaker
Hi, I'm Barabel. Hi, Barabel. Nice to meet you. Likewise. Nice to meet you. I'm going to take out the three boxes of gum out of my purse and splay them out like a deck of cards, and whichever one is in the center is the one I'm going to take a piece out of and then eat it.
00:10:50
Speaker
And then put them back in my bag. When you see the gum splayed out like a deck of cards... That takes you back to some part of your history at some point in time.
00:11:04
Speaker
And you relive your whole life experience on the run. And it's all like a montage of exciting flashbacks that will catch up as this campaign goes on of like gangsters. And you've been like being told you have to flee to another country. And you're making it way here to this small town and your new identity. And now you work in a Kinko's.
00:11:23
Speaker
And now that all that gum fanning out and it's like a flashing of paper is the ream of paper um is filed and you're putting it out. um What is the experience like at a late shift at this copy store that you work in?
00:11:37
Speaker
Oh, you know, the late shift at the copy store is usually pretty chill. You know, no one really bothers you. There's usually some tweakers there who are looking to just do dares for their boyfriends and girlfriends and put their butts on the scanner, but I chased them out with a broom. It's kind of a little...
00:11:56
Speaker
tit for tat that we do. I have fun with them, they have fun with me, they call me slurs. I say, oh, you kids. It's fun. It's fun, but tonight it's it's quiet. It's real quiet, you know? You're making your rounds through the store, and eventually you decide to polish one of the copy machines. Gotta get that butt sweat off of there. Yeah, you're polishing the butt sweat off of the thing and you kind of clat catch the reflection, and the glass, and you see your own face, and there's a moment where you make eye contact with it, and it just goes, Hey, Stubert.
00:12:31
Speaker
Oh! And you close the machine really suddenly. Jeebers, creepers, and crackers. That was, uh... Whew! Okay. No more Gatorade for old Stubart after 2 p.m.
00:12:46
Speaker
All right there. And as you you close the machine and you look into the the paper file ah where new copies come out and you do see just a single page that's been printed.
00:12:57
Speaker
But on that page is a business card that's been copied onto it. And that business card is that triangle with the date and time and the location. What in the holy heckers is that doing there?
00:13:11
Speaker
Someone just say the power of three.
00:13:15
Speaker
You guys are all sitting in the office talking about your lives and commuting and gum. And eventually this woman kind of comes up to you. She's mousy. She has big glasses. Evokes the secretary um from Ghostbusters. oh I love her. And she comes up to you and goes, oh, I'm so, so excited that you all you got you all came here today. I'm so grateful. um Hi, your your general manager is going to consult with you all. You could think of this as is as a job interview. Yeah.
00:13:41
Speaker
We're welcoming you um for an opportunity to work at one of the most prestigious institutions of all time, the Triangle Agency. I would have thought there would have been maybe applause or something. Okay, that's fine. Oh, sure, absolutely. Let me give you an applause there. Thank you. That makes sense because of the card with the red thing. It didn't have a name or anything on it, so I was a little confused. and Well, it's funny you say that. The only people who are capable of seeing those cards in the triangle with the date and information are people who have come into effect with something that we call anomalies. Now, we've been monitoring all three of you for a while, and we're aware that you've come into effect
00:14:19
Speaker
Some sort of interaction with one of these anomalies. Correct? And she stares you down. All three of you know this to be true. Some point in time in your recent history, you've experienced some kind of a weird paranormal or unusual activity in yourself
Understanding the Agency and Anomalies
00:14:33
Speaker
and your body. And you are in communication, in some sense, with your ability to change reality because of this anomaly. a Wait, so you guys feel felt something too?
00:14:45
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah, i've been I've been there for sure. It gave me the real hooskow heebie-jeebies when it first happened, but I think I've come to terms with it, and the good I think we can do with it, you know, that I can do with it. Yeah, I'm pretty normal guy. Nothing too zany about me, but I guess if you guys both if you guys both have admitted to it, then yeah, I guess maybe ah maybe a tiny little bit of weirdness to me, but otherwise...
00:15:15
Speaker
Just like everyone else. I'm glad two men also got it because I thought it was perimenopause for a second, but it's fine. It's not that.
00:15:25
Speaker
You know, I have an uncle named Perry. Oh, wow. Good. he has a name. No, you the three of you are something that we all like to refer to as residents.
00:15:37
Speaker
um That is a ah living being that has been merged with one of these anomalies and found some sort of a balance and ability to walk day to day. Now, before we continue, has everyone had their breakfast? Yes. Aw.
00:15:49
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. Of course. Most important meal of the day. Now, if you'll please. And she reaches into her pocket and she hands you each a ah tiny little ID badge with your name on it and a title underneath it. Can each one of you read your name and title, please? ah Oh, oh, oh.
00:16:06
Speaker
Barabelle. Call it live. Felix Fuzzworth. R&D. Uh, Stuart Burtmeier, a.k.a. Stubert. Hey, you guys know my nickname. That's funny.
00:16:18
Speaker
That's funny. i It says I'm an intern. Well, dang it. Unpaid, as you know. Right. Well. Now, all of these titles and positions come with certain expectations, which if you manage to follow these ah expectations, you'll be awarded commendations from the company. Yay!
00:16:37
Speaker
And the opposite, if you break any of the rules of your title, you'll receive what we refer to as a demerit. And those are, and she puts out a little frowdy face and thumbs down, bad.
00:16:48
Speaker
Are any of the commendations involved, uh, cash? That's a great question. While we will not be compensating you directly, the commendations you earn can be exchanged for $1,000 gift cards that can be used for goods and services in the company store. And she takes a mug that says number one employee on it and hands in front of you.
00:17:06
Speaker
I just bought mine. Wow. You're the number one employee. Well, that's... That's... Well, I'm glad you're number one. that That's great. Well, if there's room for some more.
00:17:18
Speaker
Yeah. Now, if you come with me, you're going to meet your general manager. And she takes the three of you to another room. In this room, you wait and you see just three desks. One, two, three, sitting in front of you.
00:17:30
Speaker
um Where would you each like to sit?
00:17:35
Speaker
Laughing at Ivana's face. I think I'm going to let Lil Miss here. I will ah walk very quickly to this to the middle one.
00:17:48
Speaker
I'll take the far desk and I will jump on top of the chair with my feet under me. I'm gonna sit at the near desk and to each their own and stuber don't judge.
00:18:01
Speaker
Now, ah before I continue ah with this campaign, now that you have been given titles in the triangle agency, each one of those titles does come with a demeritable offense.
00:18:12
Speaker
ah Can I have each one of you list what your demeritable offense is so that listeners know if one of our players commits one of these infractions, they will be receiving a punishment. I also will allow the other players in the campaign to call them out if they mess it up, possibly earning a commendation.
00:18:26
Speaker
So, Tucker, what is your demeritable offense? Sure there. For the intern, my prime directive is they wouldn't ask it if it wasn't important. Each time you deny a request, receive one demerit.
00:18:42
Speaker
Oh, crap. Ivana? ah For the hotline, never say unfortunately. Each time you deliver bad news, receive one demerit.
00:18:54
Speaker
Woof. And Nate? Yeah, as the R&D specialist, my prime directive is out with the old. So each time I do the same thing twice, receive one demerit.
00:19:06
Speaker
which hopefully gets, I get a little bit of leeway on that, but we'll see. Paul, these are hard. You pick them for yourselves. they're all are You guys are sitting there waiting uncomfortably. And then at the moment, the three of you eventually all the same time have avoided eye contact with the office desk that was in front of you.
00:19:26
Speaker
You hear somebody go and you all look up and there is a man who's sitting there. He's dressed in the nines, white shirt, black tie, smoking a cigar. You watch as every time he takes a long drag from the cigar, it actually gets a little longer rather than smaller. There's something very odd and paranormal about the experience.
00:19:45
Speaker
Oh, I want one of those. Flim flam jabber Dean. You spooked me, sir. Yeah. Oh, it's nice to meet all of you. I'm going to be your general manager and you will refer to me as such.
00:19:55
Speaker
I want you to know we've all been watching you. We know that you've come into contact with something that we refer to as an anomaly. And I want you to know that anytime we catching you using your anomaly outside of this office, you will be punished.
00:20:07
Speaker
You are now an employee of the triangle agency and your actions reflect on my managing. Calling it anomaly makes me feel like there's something wrong with me.
00:20:17
Speaker
There is. While you're working here in the Triangle Agency, you are on a temporary higher level. We are hoping that your skill set will mean you will become a full-time employee, so I'm going to send you out on a hunt to go find an anomaly that has been pestering the local town.
00:20:33
Speaker
During this mission, I am granting you the opportunity to use the powers that you have been given. You're also allowed to contact the agency for any sort of assistance. And while you're hunting this anomaly, we'll provide you with two tools that we encourage you to use.
00:20:47
Speaker
The first, and he pulls out under his desk, is a briefcase. Inside of this briefcase is a vacuum-like device that we can use to capture an anomaly so we can preserve and contain them. And there we can keep the world safe from anomalies.
00:21:00
Speaker
The other thing, and he opens his desk drawer, he pulls out a bottle of liquor, he goes, oh, nope, not that. He pulls out a gun. You could just use this to shoot and destroy an anomaly if you feel like there is no opportunity to capture and contain it.
00:21:11
Speaker
I need one of you to take each of these, and he slides them across the desk. Oh, I'll take that briefcase there. Don't really like to get myself involved in firearms. You know what I'm saying? that's Sure, grab that. Thank you. Sure, i don't i don't mind I don't mind being in charge of the gun.
00:21:27
Speaker
and I'll grab it, and I'll just put it right in my pants pocket. is that okay? Looks great there, Chief. Great. Got kind of hanging halfway out like it's going to fall at a moment.
00:21:38
Speaker
there was a third option, I'll take it, but guess there isn't. Now, I want you to understand that you might feel like you were enlisted to join this agency, and i want you to know that you were.
00:21:51
Speaker
If at any point in time you feel like you don't want to be a part of this organization, you have plenty of paperwork that you can fill out. ah But be warned that you will probably be buried under this paperwork and become a paperweight. And he pulls out this little cube and sets it on his desk. And as you look in the cube, there's these faces that are just kind of like disappearing and appearing. And they all have those like account advisors. These are all former employees who decided to leave the agency.
00:22:15
Speaker
But let you know that they're all alternative paths to working here. Oh, well, it's always good to have choice. ah Yeah, yeah. ah um I have, ah speaking of speaking of scary things at the agency, ah can you tell us more about these demerits?
00:22:34
Speaker
Because I like the commendation sounded good, but the demerits... ah I'd like to learn a little bit more about them. That's a great, great question. As you're working here, there's an opportunity to become a mission MVP, one of our high-level employees. You'll receive bonuses, commendations, all kinds of rewards. If you are behaving poorly, you rack up a lot of demerits, you'll be put on what we refer to as probation.
00:22:56
Speaker
You're going to have to wear, and he pulls out from his desk, it's like a Mary Poppins bag, just pulling out tons of these things, the red flag of disrepute, and you're going to have to wear this anytime you are on a mission. It's going to be a public shaming for all employees. If you keep ending up on probation,
00:23:11
Speaker
You might have to have exit interviews. You might have some kind of local privileges, like bathroom privileges lost, all kinds of things. We prefer to keep employees on a successful strategy approach, though. You know, look forward. Get those commendations. Don't have any demerits. Okay, great. Let me just write this down.
00:23:30
Speaker
Demerits, bad. Got it. Okay, thank you. Good. Smart kid. Thank you. I've been told I'm a quick learner. Let me go get the report to see what's happening
Mission Briefing and Agency Dynamics
00:23:38
Speaker
in the town. And he reaches into his desk and he pulls out a hamster on a hamster wheel.
00:23:42
Speaker
And then he pulls out a bunch of fly paper and he puts it on the next to the hamster and he spins the wheel really fastly. The hamster is running really, really quickly. And little bits of the hamster. ah What is it called? the The stuff on the bottom of the hamster cage?
00:23:55
Speaker
Poop. No, the like leafing wood chip, wood chips and stuff. Oh, mulch? The mulch mulch. As the hamster's running, little bits of the mulch fly out and land on the flypaper and land in a pattern of words. So eventually when the hamster finishes and it's like tired and it stops running, the guy takes the flypaper and reads the report to you guys.
00:24:13
Speaker
All right. There have been some anomalous occurrences at a nearby grocery store. Air agents report seeing a car that was, quote, trying to drive itself into another car in front of it.
00:24:26
Speaker
Another agent saw, quote, a man folded it into himself like a letter. We're growing deeply concerned about what's going on, some kind of strange things outside of Mel's grocery store.
00:24:37
Speaker
Do you think you can go down there and investigate? There's only one answer that question. Absolutely. la tootly Yes, sir. You need us to bring you anything back? Apples.
00:24:48
Speaker
Excellent. Granny Smith? Surprise me. I like this guy. By the way, before you leave, remember, on every mission sent to you from the Triangle Agency, we will have additional commendations and demeritable offenses that can occur.
00:25:04
Speaker
So I want you guys to write this down. There's two commendations for getting somebody to lie to you. There's going to be one commendation for finding a new use for an office supply, and one demerit for skipping a meal.
00:25:22
Speaker
Now get out there and capture me an anomaly! And he points to his door. And Granny Smith apples. And Granny Smith apples! Uh, Stubert, you mentioned you have a car, right? Do you mind maybe giving us a ride? We could all carpool together? Yes, please! Oh, sure, absolutely, no problem. I can i can for sure drive everyone there.
00:25:44
Speaker
That's not a problem. oh thank you, I Ubered. Newbered. I Newbered. Newbered. They'll gouge you with those prices there, especially when the 5 is closed onto to the 304. You know, you can't be doing that. Anyway, yeah, everyone pile in to the 2009 Comrie.
00:26:00
Speaker
two thousand and nine comrie Great. Yeah. What's all this stuff in the backseat under my feet? Oh, that's just, ah you know, some wrappers and some old newspapers. I like to keep, you know, I like to recycle the things from the Kinko's copy ah shop because they don't really have a good recycling thing there. So I just sort of keep all the old paper from ah from the store. Yeah, there's like a lot of paper products. Oh, sorry to interrupt you A lot of paper products in here. Do you have a ah you was USB cable anywhere?
00:26:36
Speaker
oh I probably, I sure do. I sure do have a USB cable somewhere. Thank you.
00:26:45
Speaker
I plug in my phone and I start playing some Britney Spears. but All right, everyone, make sure you buckle up. I'm going to check my mirror. Oh, yeah, I like this. Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:02
Speaker
She really is great. Yeah, who did you this is? Princess of Pop. Princess of Pop. Cool.
Anomalous Grocery Store Adventure
00:27:11
Speaker
You guys pull your way up towards the grocery store, eventually make your way, and you see that a lot of it has been taped off. There are police cars and fire trucks. They're trying to separate these two cars. that are basically It looks like one of them was trying to drive itself into the other one, and like the metal had peeled itself apart like it was trying to like envelop it.
00:27:29
Speaker
um And then you also see a blanket covering what you presume to be a person who underwent a similar experience. Oh, boy. Oh, my goodness. Are they okay? Sorry, is the whole storefront taped off? Like, we can't get inside the storefront? The general area, like kind of the street block, and like because it's a car wreck. You know, people are rubbernecking, and there's people around.
00:27:51
Speaker
um But if you wanted to try to get in there, you'd have to do something. Gang, any ideas on how we can, you know, get in on get in there so we can take a look around and and make sure our general manager is happy at the good job that we did?
00:28:04
Speaker
Yeah, well, there's a there's a sewer grate we could probably go in through and get it get into the the about The bathrooms of the supermarket. does that sound like a good idea? That sounds so fun. That sounds so, so fun for you. it sounds like a really fun idea. um I don't know if these shoes can potentially go down
00:28:35
Speaker
and appear in a bathroom of a grocery store. I just don't know if they can appear in the bathroom of a grocery store. They can go down the sewer. But the shoes in the bathroom, that can't happen. Do you want to just take off your shoes? Ooh, can we?
00:28:49
Speaker
Yeah, that's a great idea. Thank you. Yeah, my shoes are off. My socks are off. I'm stretching my toes, stretching my back. Oh, Felix is ready, huh? Sure, yeah.
00:29:01
Speaker
I'm going to choose the mundane, a feature of a mundane target and take it for myself. ah So I want to take one of the police officers full uniforms, the little traffic cop hat and everything about it.
00:29:15
Speaker
um And I want to roll to take that. That's what I'm going to do. So you're using your ability borrow. I'm using my ability borrow. Thank you. And I'm going to roll their outfit for their outfit. Great. Roll 64. Okay. I rolled zero threes. rolled three. oh great shit.
00:29:37
Speaker
Great. So you generate six chaos for the anomaly. Yep. And let's read what your ability says on a failure. Yeah, this is still pretty funny. And we still might be able to work it to our advantage. On a failure, the target, this police officer, um loses what I have taken permanently and no one gets it. They remember what they've lost. So I would say in the blink of an eye, this police officer just is standing in his tighty-whities. Completely naked? Let's give him tighty-whities. Poor guy. This is a PG-13 show.
00:30:11
Speaker
ah ah So several things are going to happen from this. The police, there's two cops there. One of them, he's, you know, documenting the whole scene. And all of a sudden, all of his clothes are completely gone. He goes, oh, sent it for service. Me clothes are out of the guns. Or something like that that's less offensive in my generic cop Irish accent.
00:30:28
Speaker
Leprechaun. Wow, Paul. He is going to freak out and i run because he's embarrassed of his body, which is not OK. We should all feel pride. And as he runs away, the other officer witnessed this event.
00:30:41
Speaker
This is going to create what is called a loose end. Oh. A loose end is a human who has witnessed an anomalous occurrence. These are, they kind of begin to stack up more and more.
00:30:54
Speaker
So one loose end isn't terrible, but eventually more loose ends start to talk and they can talk more. And eventually the fabric of reality can start to break down and the anomalies will win. So this detective watched his partner,
00:31:09
Speaker
have their clothing disappear, and he popped up from behind this wrecked car and ran off. And he's like, wait, whoa, Louis O'Hallihan, where where are you going?
00:31:19
Speaker
And he looks up to see the three of you. Okay. And for next trick, we will make the house disappear. We will? Yeah, I'm so sorry, officer. um I'm a magician's assistant. This is Madame Magicana. And she was just practicing. She was trying to make my clothes disappear.
00:31:43
Speaker
And I point to my clothes. see She only got my shoes. She only got my shoes. And then accidentally your partner got caught up in the crossfire. So did you, did it i also got my shoes did it look convincing to you officer?
00:31:57
Speaker
I can't, that was a, that's, that's the greatest, that's the greatest magic trick I've ever seen. i look, I have to, i gotta be honest. I, I've been a fan of magic ever since I was a young boy I, w-w-w-did you set me up for this? Did you, did you and him talk? Was that like, I just like, is that tearaway clothing? I gotta know. I- how'd you get rid of the Kevlar? Oh, you know, a magician never reveals her secrets there, officer.
00:32:23
Speaker
That's right, that is what we say. were just walking on by and saw all the hullabaloo going on. What's happening in here, officer? Honestly, I don't know. was some kind of horrible car accident, and, you know, we think there was a civilian who got caught up in the wreckage, if you see. I- I don't have the chops to look at it, so I didn't look, but ugh.
00:32:42
Speaker
Ugh. But the grocery store's still open for business? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's still, it's it's, well, it's open, but, you know, the the kid working at the front is a little overwhelmed. oh Well, maybe they would appreciate some good old-fashioned sleight of hand, you know what I mean? And I do the fake thumb.
00:33:00
Speaker
no Hey, before we before we leave, officer, can can I practice one more trick on you? Yeah, of course. Of course. And he leans it real close. Yeah, show me. So I take out my notepad that I use for taking notes about ah society and humans on them. And I'm going to say, can you name a number between one and 50? Yeah.
00:33:20
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, I'm sorry, can you think can you think of a number between 1 and 50? Oh, okay, yeah. And I'm going to rip off a piece of paper and I'm going to crumple it up and give it to him. And I'll say, can you eat this piece of paper?
00:33:33
Speaker
Yeah. And he eats the piece of paper. Noah. Was your number three? Yes. The trick worked perfectly. Can't believe it.
00:33:44
Speaker
And then I kind of wave my arms and my fingers mystically and start to back towards the inside of the grocery store.
00:33:52
Speaker
I gotta tell... Oh, my partner's got... i don't know who to tell. have all these emotions and I'm all alone. Tell all of these wonderful people. Share our tale. I'll tell everyone about you and what I saw today. oh wait.
00:34:05
Speaker
e I think that. um So you guys ah make your way into the grocery store. And it's been emptied out because of all the weirdness that happened out front.
00:34:16
Speaker
But you just see this one manager of the store kind of standing at the shop. One till. And he waves you guys in. and He goes, oh, hi. Did the the officer let you guys in?
00:34:27
Speaker
He sure did there, Buckle. What's your name? I'm Mel. This is my grocery store. Mel, nice to meet you. Sorry you're having such a rough and tumble tooty fruity day there. Um...
00:34:39
Speaker
What's going on out there? We were just popping in to grab some lunch here if you got any lunch specials for us and want to tell us your tale. Oh, yeah, sure. If we got a bunch of pre-made sandwiches down there in the back, if you want to grab something. Oh, I could go for a smoothie. Oh, um, i i'd I'd help you right now. the the other kid who works here didn't show up today. he's He's late, and I've been trying to run this place all on my own, and then with the chaos up front, I haven't been able to...
00:35:07
Speaker
help with the people at the deli counter or anything like that so i i can't leave unfortunately but um that's okay i can go make it myself oh i think that's weird to let you do you think i'm weird do you think i'm weird no no in fact i think you're a valuable customer and i appreciate are you lying to me i'm not i think any customer who shops here would be valuable that's fucking funny ah um I grab okay three random sandwiches and bring them up.
00:35:38
Speaker
So you're saying there's a one of your staff didn't show up today? They out sick? Oh, yeah. I hired this new kid. His name's Jake Pinston. um He's a little sweaty and nervous, but he he he needed a job real bad. So I let him be a bag boy. And he kind of was pretty good at just, you know, taking people's stuff and putting it in the bag and letting them go on their merry way. He's just just a little awkward and nervous, you know? He's been really good, but he didn't show up today. He lives in the um the the place upstairs. I'd go check on him, but with the accident and customers coming in, i haven't really been able to do anything. I assume he's going to show up eventually. Sure. Hey, you know, we're we're friendly neighborhood people. we we could
00:36:16
Speaker
We could go check on him for you, you know? um if you If you can, that'd be great. You know, but before you go, i think somebody broke into the back room, though. I've been hearing these weird noises in the back. Do you guys think you could go check it out? It might be raccoons or something.
00:36:30
Speaker
You really want to do me a favor? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. this is i've I've also took a tuna sandwich and I'm eating it and I'm going to say, by the way, this which is really delicious, by the way. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. It's a family recipe. That weird pre-made tuna sandwich.
00:36:48
Speaker
I'm going to give a really fake smile. What is the extra ingredient in the fish that really makes it pop? know I usually eat a plain. ah Bread? No, in the in the fish. in the in the so In the tuna. There's mayonnaise, salt, cucumber, a little bit of dill, a little bit of... Ooh. As you make your way back, I'm going to use my first DM privilege, and I'm going to spend five chaos of the six chaos that you guys gave me.
00:37:16
Speaker
It was worth worth
Confronting Minor Anomalies
00:37:17
Speaker
the magic scene. Come on ah What that does, Don, as you guys step your way back there, you see bunch Are we in any specific aisle? I assume you guys make your way through the like the storage area. You know, they always have those like mysterious double doors at every grocery store that like leads back to all the storage things. Okay, well, on the way, i'm going to steal a box of crackers and just start eating them. I have a box of crackers that I'm eating out of. You would do that.
00:37:43
Speaker
Saltines. You make your way back there and you do see ah something like knock off of a shelf. And you watch as this plastic bag with like shark teeth kind of scamper its way across the ground and start picking up fruit in its maw and pulling them into it.
00:38:04
Speaker
And then it turns, and it has that hole where your hand goes, and it kind of becomes the shape of an eye, and it makes eye contact with the three of you, and kind of pulls itself up into the shape of a bag, and starts scurrying away as quickly as it can.
00:38:17
Speaker
Wasn't a good golly. Well, that seems pretty and anomalous to me. I think we should run after that. I think we should check in the... check the back room first. I think that thing will be there. That looked a little...
00:38:29
Speaker
over my pay grade. Although i guess, yeah, I didn't lose the gun. I still have it in my pocket. So, so we're not defenseless. Um, I think there's a way i can help with that actually. the gun? How do I get it it doesn't fall out of my pocket? Well, we gotta get you a holster there, big guy.
00:38:47
Speaker
Yeah. ah Maybe. yeah Oh, maybe I can knit you one. That sounds perfect. I love yarn. ah Anyways, i could ah go get ah a part of me that used to be a um an exterminator.
00:39:06
Speaker
ah so just give me one second. going to stuff myself and in one of the freezers.
00:39:15
Speaker
Oh, right. Are you using a power? and Yeah. Okay, you gotta talk out that explanation more because people don't know what the fuck you're doing, so you gotta say using power. I shall explain. I'm gonna use my best self, which is an ability. I open a container large enough to fit my entire body inside, and I'm gonna roll duplicity.
00:39:36
Speaker
On a success, an alternate version of me is inside, and they will have one particular skill that is useful to our current situation. They disappear from our world within the hour. Okay. Jesus Christ.
00:39:51
Speaker
Now, it's worth remembering, you do have burnout in duplicity, so you're going to get minus one on whatever you roll. Yeah. you need to roll two threes.
00:40:02
Speaker
How many dies, I guess? 64. 64. I just want to make sure it's six of them. Okay. So I didn't get a single three. my god ah Chaos reigns.
00:40:16
Speaker
ah What happens on a failure? What happens on a failure, Ivana? On a failure, the alternate version of me is an evil is evil from my perspective. They have goals and priorities opposite to mine and committed to getting in the way until dealt with. ah They leave our world only when satisfied by the changes they made.
00:40:39
Speaker
to it. let me think about what they're trying to do. Okay, knowing his little... Okay, so you go in... Do you pull... You close open the freezer and an evil you comes out? Is that what happens?
00:40:53
Speaker
She does it. She opens the freezer door and identical to her, but with the like snidely whiplash mustache comes out and the evil black top hat and she jumps out and goes, I'm going to kill Britney Spears! Oh, no! She starts running to the um exit of the grocery store. Trying to assassinate a national treasure. no Oh, God.
00:41:18
Speaker
um Before Barabel gets out of the back room, I say. ah Wait just a moment there, Dark Side Barabel. I've got some news pertinent to ah to Miss Spears that might be helpful towards your goal there.
00:41:36
Speaker
okay ah To get her attention, I say, now, I know you really want to destroy Britney Spears.
00:41:47
Speaker
Yes, more than anything. But let me tell you something. That girl has been through a whole lot, and she's basically already destroyed.
00:41:58
Speaker
I want you to go on the Googles and I want you to see when the last time she had an album release. Oh dear. This is going to be depressing for Paul. You might find that that she's already dead inside.
00:42:15
Speaker
While this is happening, I'm running to aisle three to grab a snack and I run back. Oh, God, it was a decade ago. Exactly.
00:42:26
Speaker
That poor girl. She's been trapped there for years. We've been keeping her down as a society and mistreating her. She was just an innocent girl. No! And she melts. Yes! Oh, I was told her. Yeah, that is... She's gone.
00:42:41
Speaker
It's the first episode. we got it you You already give me seven more chaos. Crap! Can... Someone please take this bag of peanuts away from me. I'm deathly allergic and so was my twin. So if, uh, just take them away. Please take them away. Sure thing, I got it. ya No problem there, Bear Bell. I got you.
00:42:59
Speaker
Thank you. I do need to make sure you're, you're the good Bear Bell there, right? Yeah, how do we know you're really you? How do you define good? is good defined by merit?
00:43:11
Speaker
Is good defined by who you are, by what you do? Oh, you don't have the mustache. I can see it. Never mind. yeah I got a little confused there for a second.
00:43:24
Speaker
Oh, boy, that was almost a disaster. Well, yeah now that that's fixed, uh, I guess the real problem is, actually, is that bag the real problem?
00:43:35
Speaker
It seems problematic, but I don't know if it's, you know, the big... That problematic? Yeah. Yeah, like, do we stop that? We could just lock the door. i want you to know one thing.
00:43:49
Speaker
That little bag is what's called a minor anomaly. Think of them as like a little minion thing that's based on the actual anomaly itself. Okay. So they're like it's like a small manifestation of that anomaly. when i so When you say that, though, you look over, Tucker, and you see it is right eye to eye with you, and it throws itself over your head, and it tries to smother you to death.
00:44:08
Speaker
It tries to smother me to death. I'm going to use my ability, Myst. oh ah They never seem to know where you are.
00:44:18
Speaker
When something might touch or hurt you, you can say Myst and roll duplicity. Oh, Myst with a D. I thought M-I-S-T, like this sick PC game, and I was like, i don't know what's going to happen, but you know what's going sick.
00:44:30
Speaker
No, sorry. There's red envelope and a blue envelope. ah So I'm rolling duplicity there. Ah, you missed me. ah But I have burnout in duplicity, so let's see how this goes.
00:44:43
Speaker
Oh, crap. Oh, boy, you guys. that's now I only rolled one three. Now, wait. Can I burn one of my QAs? Not in one you're not rolling.
00:44:55
Speaker
Oh, crap! I thought you got... Don't get some number of QAs at the start of every session or something? You do, you have three in each of your... Three of you your skills, but I don't think you rolled it in one you have. no Oh,
00:45:10
Speaker
On a failure. The target moves instead to hurt another to an angle that deals additional harm or to a very inconvenient place. Okay. Usually that you go missed and the bag goes ah through your head and completely envelops Felix.
00:45:32
Speaker
whose face as well. And you hear this like chopping noise and little bits of peanuts come out of the bag as well and collide into, um, uh, Barabelle's face.
00:45:46
Speaker
So she's choking on peanuts and Felix, um, has been wounded. I'm going to have you guys each, you've been each, uh, take a point of damage. So we're going to talk about how that works. i'm going to check off every little box in this game's mechanics of the first episode. Each one of you is going to take one point of harm.
00:46:03
Speaker
When harmed, an agent can automatically expend one QA per point of harm. So one point to ignore the effects of harm. And it basically, it occurs and then it keeps going through you. i drop to the ground, open my bag, take out an EpiPen and stab myself extremely dramatically on the leg. Perfect.
00:46:25
Speaker
And I'm going to try to scratch the bag off of my head as it's suffocating me, but realizing that my fingernails aren't as long as they have been in the past, I'm going to take my trusty pen that I've been taking notes with and pop a bunch of breathing holes in it to to catch my breath and finally be able to get my fingernails in and rip it out.
00:46:45
Speaker
You do. You eventually, and you tear the bag apart and it whimpers. It lets out a little like meh. Yes. Perfect. You guys have slayed the little minor anomaly. Oh, gosh. I think we gotta get out of here.
00:46:57
Speaker
Yeah, we gotta get to the bottom quick. This place is getting zero stars on Noogle. Hey, Mel, we dealt with it was definitely a raccoon. and We'll see you later after we talk to the kid who wasn't there. Okay, bye. Don't go back there. Thanks. Along with Britney Spears.
00:47:12
Speaker
Yeah, we love her too. Queen of Pop. Okay, one star. You guys make your weapon fledges. The first thing you're caught with is just like this wave of stink. um When you get to the door and you open it and you just see delivery food and boxes everywhere. um This kid has been living kind of like a a gross hoarding degenerate.
Jake's Clutter Dilemma and Anomaly Capture
00:47:33
Speaker
Piles of things. He's got boxes spilling over with ah envelopes um that are just pouring out. And you could see you guys look out and you see him. you guys... Oh my God, I'm late for work. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm i'm so, so, oh my God. Oh my God. it's been so weird, you guys. And he looks and he goes, something's wrong.
00:47:50
Speaker
Something's really wrong in my house. Hey, that's okay there. Why don't you just tell us your name and what's going on here? Do you want a sandwich? I got you a sandwich. I got one for myself and one for you there, buddy. He sits down and he gets into his onto the couch and he's breathing really heavily. He's like, I just, there's too much of stuff, for you guys. I don't know what to do with it. I keep putting it in boxes and the boxes are starting to spill over. My kitchen is a total mess, you guys. Oh, honey.
00:48:19
Speaker
do you want some gum? Yes. Okay. I'm going offer you three different flavors of gum in this order. Mint, cinnamon, and bubble gum. Which one do you choose? I guess I want bubble gum.
00:48:34
Speaker
no, no, no, no. no no I guess I want mint. Try again. don't like this game while I'm traumatized.
00:48:44
Speaker
I'll take the middle one. I promise you cinnamon makes all your problems go away. Okay. And he just starts unwrapping the little cinnamon gum. So there's just, you're saying there, young man, that there's too much stuff here and you got to get rid of, well, that's totally fine. Why don't we help you throw out some of this old junk? We could burn it. No, please don't touch my stuff.
00:49:08
Speaker
I like it. i like all of my, it's all really important. I like my boxes with more boxes in them, but I like my bag full of joness I'm going pick up a handful of bags and say, you need every single one of these? Yeah, think they should be in the big one in the kitchen under the sink. That's where they're supposed to be. Okay, so can can we at least put some of your stuff away for you? Like, tidy up in here want a little bit?
00:49:33
Speaker
Looks like a litter box. ah what cat! Oh no. oh You had a cat? Where is he? He's probably here somewhere. Right, well we gotta find this cat, guys. I'm gonna get down on all fours and start looking around and going... now Hey buddy, hey buddy. ah It's alright. Let's start at the very beginning.
00:50:00
Speaker
Your shoes. Why don't we start throwing out some shoes or organizing them or putting some in storage? Okay, we can go there. Let's throw them out.
00:50:11
Speaker
There's way too many shoes. Good option. It's so much is so freeing to go barefoot, okay? Let's try that. okay Look, I haven't wearing mine. I've been wearing mine for like an hour and I feel great. You seem happy and well adjusted. Thank you. And perfectly normal. Thank you. He takes some shoes. He just throws them out the window. goes, that felt pretty good.
00:50:31
Speaker
Okay. All right. That's a good start. Why don't you throw one of these bags out now? And I hand him like the ratty oldest looking bag. Right. it'll feel good he put grabs the bag and he reacts to it being bitten um you guys look down and it's another one of those little bag uh shark anomalies goes oh my god it bit me what the fuck is that and he like kicks at it and it's like grabbing around his feet because he doesn't have shoes on anymore it was a stapler don't worry that that backfired on me uh yeah i grab it and chuck it out the window can i do that
00:51:03
Speaker
Yeah, you do. You grab the bag and you throw it in. It is kind of like just slowly gingerly drifts and then it catches on a um ah tree outside and you watch it like flailing and chomping at things. Can I, uh, I would like to try to use one of my powers if it applies here.
00:51:16
Speaker
So, hey, man, you know that feeling you got when you threw those shoes out the window and it felt really good? Mm-hmm. Do you want some more? And I'm going to use, would you like some more?
00:51:30
Speaker
um So I will roll empathy, which is, would i do I have, no I still don't have QA and empathy. Nope. So let's say 64.
00:51:42
Speaker
That is three, but I get minus one, right? If you have three threes, tricendence goes beyond it. Okay, so that is a tricendence roll. Tricendence roll, first episode. Let's go. So tricendence is the equivalent of a critical hit in Triangle Agency. It's when you roll three threes without any kind of manipulation to your stats. The first thing that happens is you're going generate no chaos from this roll. That's a good thing.
00:52:07
Speaker
um The next thing is you have the opportunity did to choose one of three benefits for your character. The first is you can add any number of threes to this roll. So if you have a power that's like, oh, do a bunch of threes, you can do that. The second thing you could do is you can replenish three spent quality assurances that you've used, for example, the harm that you took.
00:52:25
Speaker
And the last thing you can do is you can take three commendations for this mission. I am going to, i believe I'm going to take the three commendations. So I'll just make a quick note that. Yeah, that seems like the yeah easy front runner on this. Honest success. the person The person I'm speaking to becomes very interested in more of the last thing they enjoyed, which we have identified as throwing his dumb shit out.
00:52:48
Speaker
um Yeah. As identified by me and the player of the character, this does not create an addiction or a compulsion, but it makes that thing, if it's available, into leverage or distraction beyond its worth. So I'm going to say, all right, man, that was so fun. Let's keep going.
00:53:06
Speaker
Let's definitely start with all of these shoes. And I'm just going to start grabbing pairs of shoes and chucking them out the window. Yeah, man, this is great. Should I do more bags? Yeah. ah well Let Stubart do the bags just in case any of them are, ah you know, biting. I'm going whisper back to Stubart. Oh, sure. Yeah, no worries. Stubart's got the bitey bag. just just so he doesn't Just so he doesn't get weird again. You guys can do it. Just watch your fingers. yeah I got you.
00:53:31
Speaker
Hey, you mentioned a big bag was in under the kitchen cupboard. Yeah, it's my bag that I fill with other bags. It's my most prized possession. I'm going to go find that bag. start Start putting all those bags in that bag. I walk my way to the kitchen while ah Felix is helping him throw shoes out, keeping him distracted.
00:53:51
Speaker
You make your way into the kitchen, and you feel this distortion in reality. And you see the cabinet under the sink begin to shake and ripple. Suddenly, a tremendous serpentine-like creature bursts from the cupboard. It floats in the air and begins to create a figure-eight-like shape as it draws its own tail into its mouth. oh And you notice that it's not made up of scales like a lizard would be, but of plastic bodega bags that have been crammed into one another.
00:54:16
Speaker
You see it sort of take shape with a pair of eyes and it looks upon you, Tucker. And it's going to ah use, it's going to basically try to dive at and crush you like a snake. Oh my God.
00:54:30
Speaker
Well, fuck me. I'm going to try mist again. Great. ah God, I really, on. That's why it's there. It's a trap.
00:54:42
Speaker
it's a trap I like chaos points. I like my money. do your chaos points carry over? They do, right? Maybe. Oh, fuck! Oh, no. Those eyebrows say yes. My body's also saying yes. Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, no. That's the face of a zero. I rolled zero threes, man!
00:55:02
Speaker
Statistically very unlikely. Wait, before it resolves. Bing! I'm going to use my ability. Hold music, volume one. Dude. Each session, I have a powerful tape player with built-in speaker and one tape of bland, cheerful music. Once each mission, you can press play to immediately transport you and any nearby allies to a perfectly safe waiting room for up to one hour.
00:55:29
Speaker
When you return, all affected can place themselves anywhere in the room they left and no time has passed in the world around you. Oh, wow. Oh. Okay, great. So you're saying this thing ah kind of like dives at Tucker.
00:55:42
Speaker
He uses his ability. He switches places with you. And then you use this thing to disappear. And then you come back where you were. we can i don't know. We're in a lobby. We can chat here if we want to. Do you say we can put ourselves anywhere?
00:55:57
Speaker
When we come back. Anywhere in the room. Am I with you or am I just throwing shoes out the window? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All my nearby allies. So the three of you are with me in this just lobby. Welcome to my happy place. This music is great. actually like it a lot more than Britney Spears.
00:56:15
Speaker
Why isn't she the queen of pop? This artist. Ha! She actually wrote this song. Britney Spears. She's a very talented... Yeah, she did. This was her. sound They don't sound similar to me at all, but I'm kind of new to listening to music. so It's different.
00:56:30
Speaker
Yeah, she's not singing in this one. Yeah. um Hey, gang, I don't know if you guys saw that weird Aborabagalus thing that was coming after me, but, um you know... it I'm pretty sure that's our big anomaly there. And, and while we, while we've got this little safe place to chat, um, what do you think we should do to get rid of it? Cause I don't want it to lunge at me again. And boy, do I sure love my own anomaly, but it has not been working out for me today. ah Well, we can shoot it.
00:57:05
Speaker
Right. You still have that gun. It's still in your pocket. Yep. Yep. Still there. I was wondering if there was, if anyone had any other ideas on how to, how to capture it, maybe. So we, You know, we could get more more commendations. But, you know, I'm all for just straight up shooting a thing. Well, why don't you why don't you try the suitcase first? You're the one with the trap.
00:57:25
Speaker
The trap and suitcase. Right. But I think with the suitcase, I think we either have to give it what it wants or make it confused or make it sad. Right, Paul?
00:57:36
Speaker
That's almost exactly what the rule book says. Good job. Well, can we put it in a bag? I think I have an idea. ah There is this other dear, dear, dear friend of mine. Her name is Katy Perry. And has a famous lyric about how there are bags that can go through the wind. And that just really resonates with me. What if we use the power of the wind to try to blow these bags out of place? Separate its head from its tail part so it stops the never-ending cycle? Yeah, like a hair dryer.
00:58:16
Speaker
And we separate them all. Can we can we get the let's get the agency to help us create a ah a rusty hinge on the window so it blows open?
00:58:29
Speaker
And then we can try to blow the bags apart. How's that sound? Can we call them from your waiting Excellent. Can we talk to people outside of the waiting room? yeah, we can say that. So let me let me just talk through a causality chain. Thank God you guys did every rule.
00:58:44
Speaker
Okay, so the stated effect you want to occur is to have a rusted hinge on that window. What are the series of mundane events that occurred to cause that rusted hinge to be there? Well, this dude is obviously a weird hoarder, so I would say he probably had a Ziploc bag full soup or something, and he spilled it on the window and just let it sit there for a year, and it's absolutely heinous. That's why it smells so bad in that room.
00:59:12
Speaker
And just rusted. Also the storm that happened the last weekend and the leak that just rusted it even more. Then can I have one of you roll for empathy to see if you can affect his emotions to make him apathetic?
00:59:28
Speaker
I got one three. Great. And it also was a stat that you could have spent QAs in to pass automatically, though. Okay. You all agree you contact the agency to affect his mood, to make him more apathetic to the soup stain that he caused on this rusted hinge. And when you blink back into reality...
00:59:45
Speaker
This wind that has been picking up in the street has caused the hinge on this window to snap open. The wind bursts through this. All these papers go flying out of these the boxes. The snake is interrupted from its attack as you guys are all scattered around this room in a weird way. And parts of its body are blown away. And it's kind of disrupted by this moment. Okay, so as it's disrupted, um I'm going to try to see if this works and take out the very normal briefcase and say, uh, uh, hey!
01:00:16
Speaker
Uh, Bagos, uh, let me ask you a little brain tickler there. Does the set of all sets contain itself? And I open the, I open the briefcase.
01:00:29
Speaker
And it spirals away into the briefcase. You watch as this, uh, spinning batch of bags all come in and the briefcase snaps shut. And there's just a single, uh, bag that drifts down that just has a have a nice day on it. Hell yeah.
01:00:41
Speaker
like that. Woo! ah You guys clean up a little bit. Jake is still a little flustered. He he didn't witness any of that, but he's coming to down with everything. It's okay. I just feel bad. i just want to let you know that we care about you.
Mission Evaluation and Home Mysteries
01:00:56
Speaker
And if you see us around, we probably might not remember you, but we want you to to remember us. So I'm going to take... the stapler that that bit you that because that this is what bit you and i'm gonna take the bag and use the stapler to just leave the stapler against the wall with the bag hanging down see it's artistic full to use you can put your trash there i already wasn't gonna get my deposit back so i guess that doesn't really matter yeah You guys make your way back to the agency, where you get to do my favorite part of this game, which is filling out paperwork. You're a sick bastard. Listeners, you now get to enjoy as our players fill out the paperwork called the Mission Report.
01:01:45
Speaker
So we're going to go through this one step at a time, and we'll talk it out. Players, what is the name of this anomaly? Uh, the Aurora Bagros. Oh.
01:01:57
Speaker
All right. And then what is its behavior? It's like origami. It's like folding in itself and wanting to be in itself. It's forcing things to consume themselves. Yeah. Wanted to put things in things. Yeah. That's what it is. What is it in less awkward terms? What is it literally? No, that's what it is. it's the It's the compulsion to put bags into bags is what it was. is All right. but why Why did that affect the car and the person? Orcabi. Because it expanded its area. So the car was trying to drive itself into the other car. The person was trying to be folded into another person. ok So think it's things into itself. Yeah. ah
01:02:41
Speaker
Oh. So yeah, that's that's what the its focus is. And then it's domain. Domain is Jake's ah jake's flat. Under the sink. Correct. So that is a fully ah filled out form. You got that at 100%. you're going to all get a bonus.
01:02:56
Speaker
Let's talk about all of your character requirements to see if you met the expectations or you failed them. The optional objectives. Did anyone manage to, to forgetting somebody to lie to you? Did anyone get anyone to lie to them? Um, I got Ivana to lie to me. Barabel lied to me about the waiting music being by Britney Spears.
01:03:20
Speaker
oh Wow. Okay. How do you know? How do you know it wasn't her? In game, I definitely don't. Uh, you get plus one commendation for finding a new use for an office supply. I guess that was Ivana.
01:03:35
Speaker
Wait, no, but you also did it, Nate. Yeah, I did it with the You took a pen and you stabbed that bag to death. I did it with the... Yeah, I did it with the bag and I tried to do it with the paper, although that magic trick worked, which I wasn't expecting. Anyone skip... ah Who didn't eat?
01:03:51
Speaker
think we all didn't eat. I ate. I said I had the sandwich. You ate a sandwich. I grabbed a box of saltines. But you didn't eat. Yeah. Yeah, I was eating it. I said it's recorded. It's in here. I'm eating the box of of crackers. Okay, I'll trust you. I will trust that all of you. I know eight Nate asked about the sandwich. I don't know if Tucker ate. Did you get?
01:04:12
Speaker
Yeah. I grabbed three of the sandwiches and I was handing Jake one. I don't know if i physical if you want. i don't think you I don't think you ever said you ate food, though, so I think yes's you I'm going to give you a demerit for skipping a meal. oh Quick question. Do we get two points, two combinations for the you new use for an office supply, or is it one for any of them? One for the office supply, two for getting somebody to lie to you.
01:04:39
Speaker
And I think I get one for changing that police officer's life permanently because he was pretty blown away by that trick. He literally ran away and said, I'm going to tell all my friends I'm never going to forget about this. Okay, I'll give you that. Ivana, did you do your job? Or Tucker, did you get one for doing your job?
01:04:57
Speaker
um I think we helped that guy unburden himself. Is that fair? Yeah, I think getting rid of the shoes. Great, so that's one of them. Take the blame for something you didn't do. No.
01:05:10
Speaker
That's not it. connect someone to an expert Connect someone to an unexpected fate. I think I did that. I can only use this this once, but I did that when I brought my two colleagues to the lobby.
01:05:24
Speaker
I will... No. Time... What? Tucker? Wait, wait, no. I connected the policeman to magic initially. i have got a i've already I've already given that to Nate. Nate changed that magician's life. He took that. He planted his flag.
01:05:43
Speaker
Did I confidently fail the first time when I said, hi, you missed me. And then, ah yes, 100%. Yes. that's ah That's a really funny one. Confidently fail.
01:05:57
Speaker
So I believe we have counted everyone's score. Nate, how many demerits and how many commendations did you receive? had zero demerits seven commendations. Great.
01:06:08
Speaker
Ivana? Zero demerits, five. Great. Tucker? ah Four commendations, one demerit.
01:06:21
Speaker
Stubert, it's been a long day. You had an overnight shift, got recruited into this crazy agency, met some fairly nice people, and you finally made your way back to your home. After I finally find parking, which, you know, is very difficult, even though I think we're in a pretty small town, but there is never any street parking ah anywhere.
01:06:43
Speaker
And I get up to my little studio apartment. um You know, I try to keep it clean, try to keep it neat, you know. ah try to Try to make it so that there's no places for those cockroaches to hide. But boy, the the landlord sure doesn't take care of the place. So, you know, it's in a bit of disrepair, but not not the... the The apartment itself is pretty pretty spotless. Also, a little barren ah ah of anything that would derive personality. ah it is kind of like a prison cell. um And you have a lot of sheets and things like that covering any sort of reflected surfaces, sort of just a ah weird quirk, an oddity that you've picked up for various other reasons. Yeah, absolutely. You know, we don't need to get into that, but...
01:07:32
Speaker
Yeah, you know, I just, I think right now, I like the look. I like the look of when apartment that you currently live in looks like someone's old Victorian house that you just inherited the deed to.
01:07:44
Speaker
You feel this unusual sensation in your mind, this this presence that you've been familiar with, but for the first time, you feel it speaking inside of you, um this void, this this absence How does it physically manifest itself in your home?
01:08:04
Speaker
Oh, goodness. I would say that it physically manifests itself in my home by ah ah removing shadows that should be there.
01:08:18
Speaker
So specific. ah Yeah. Yeah. It's every time you try to, you think you you think you got your eyes on it, bam. you can't seem to focus on that spot any, and then it keeps moving. You're like, where'd you go, little guy? And then bam, something's some's behind you. I like it.
01:08:36
Speaker
Catch this eye on this shape that sort of eventually ah coagulates into a pair of eyes and a mouth, um a lot like the Cheshire Cat sort of forming in front of itself.
01:08:48
Speaker
um But rather than this big fiendish smile, it's got these big sweet doe eyes and this little mouth. i Hey there, little guy. Why
01:09:00
Speaker
don't you go first? Because I don't know what's happening here, and I've already had a really weird day. if That's okay. That's okay. That's okay. i I've been watching. I didn't want to make you nervous. I was trying to wait until you were okay with me being here.
01:09:15
Speaker
um Do you want me to call you Stubert? You know, I think that's safest for everyone. i Do you have a particular name? I just really wasn't expecting that voice to come out of you. um Do you have a particular name that you would be like to be called?
01:09:33
Speaker
um You can call me Abby. You know, Abby, ah it's a real darn tootin' pleasure to meet ya. And, uh, yes, Stubert is exactly what you should call me.
01:09:43
Speaker
Um,
Revelations and Future Plans
01:09:44
Speaker
is that you I've been feeling in the back of my mind there, who's been giving me the, uh, you know, the little, little magic-ies? Yeah, well, yeah, let's call it magic. Um... i i have this ability um that that lets me sort of stop things from being in places. i I was trying when you got hurt, and I'm really sorry it didn't work. I'll try you harder next time.
01:10:07
Speaker
Yeah, you you should try harder to roll the 60. I'm so, no, listen, hey, it's not your fault, bud. It's not your fault at all, Abby. You know, you and me, I think we're entered into a partnership right now. At least that's what the lady back at the agency said, so, you know, it's you and me all the way.
01:10:26
Speaker
Okay, wait, don't, I want to talk to you about them. they're not They're not lying when they say that anomalies are made by thought. They're manifested by by feelings and emotions. but But all kinds of great things are made by feelings and emotions, right? Like music and and and art and and oh yeah invention. the The idea is the agency wants to squash that all out.
01:10:56
Speaker
They're lying to you, Stubert. Oh gosh, geez. Uh, um, I just started there. I don't know what I should do about that, Abby. Okay, okay.
01:11:08
Speaker
Well, you're gonna have to try to infiltrate them. You're gonna get in deep, and by keeping a brave face and keeping it together, we're gonna take the agency down.
01:11:22
Speaker
corporate espionage on day one who could have imagined that this was our first episode of season two of beat our quest the triangle agency stories our cast consists of tucker dally johnston ivana maria mendez pabone and nate valentine i'm paul emrich who does all the editing writing general managing creation story blah blah blah blah blah music this season was provided by blood boy you can find them on spotify thanks again Really appreciate you guys making this for us.
01:11:55
Speaker
The game we are playing this season is Triangle Agency by Caleb Zane Hewitt and Sean Ireland. And I just can't express enough how much I love this TTRPG book. It's beautiful, complicated, abstract, and interesting. If you're at all curious about how you can play along with us and learn about the weird powers and abilities our players unlock during this campaign, you can find almost all of it included in their general rulebook.
01:12:22
Speaker
Otherwise, if you want to talk about this Triangle Agency campaign or our last Kids on Bike campaign, or maybe you just have some ideas for what our next campaign ought to be, you can visit us on Discord in the show notes.
01:12:34
Speaker
You can also send us an email at beatourquest at gmail.com or on most social media. You can find us at Beat Our Quest. If you thought this was fun, please share this episode with your friends. And if you leave us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, we really appreciate it.
01:12:49
Speaker
You'd be amazed how much that really helps us maintain visibility and relevance in today's horrible corporate world. Thanks again. Our next episode comes out in two weeks.