Transcript
Speaker: We on, we on Bigger Talks, Bigger Talks.
Speaker: And we back.
Speaker: Another edition of Bigger Talks Podcast.
Speaker: And I'm your host, Eric Bigger.
Speaker: Call me E for Energy.
Speaker: However you like it.
Speaker: It's a miracle season.
Speaker: Positivity, authenticity, transparency.
Speaker: Be yourself.
Speaker: That's what I've been growing to be my entire life.
Speaker: Trying to figure out who I am.
Speaker: I always say in order to grow yourself, you got to know yourself.
Speaker: But anyway, this episode is...
Speaker: We will be talking about kindness, right?
Speaker: Being kind and how being, I can't say being too kind, but how kind is being, having kindness can be taken for granted and how people can take it too far and mistreat you because you're too kind.
Speaker: But before we get started, I got something new I want to introduce to the podcast.
Speaker: So I have these deck of cards.
Speaker: Oracle cards, Raise Your Vibration by Kyle Gray.
Speaker: So I'm going to pick a card, going to read it to you guys.
Speaker: And, you know, I'm curious to, you know, what what energy my energy is tapped into today once I shuffle these cards.
Speaker: So give me a second.
Speaker: By the way, It's Miracle Season merch, half off, 50% off.
Speaker: Go to the website, it's miracleseason.co, and use the promo code, M-SEASON, all together, all caps, and get 50% off.
Speaker: A trucker hat, a t-shirt, a mug, a hoodie.
Speaker: It's going to be cold soon.
Speaker: Maybe it's cold where you are now.
Speaker: But let's pull a card and let's see what my energy is gravitating to today.
Speaker: Let's see.
Speaker: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Speaker: Let's see.
Speaker: Let's see.
Speaker: Uh-oh.
Speaker: What is my energy saying?
Speaker: Uh-oh.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: It is safe to shine.
Speaker: I like that.
Speaker: It is safe to shine.
Speaker: As always.
Speaker: Always shine, people.
Speaker: Always, always shine.
Speaker: All right, so I'm going to read that to you.
Speaker: What does that mean?
Speaker: Let's see what page this is.
Speaker: Always shine.
Speaker: And if you're listening to this, that's a message, universal message to you.
Speaker: You need to shine right now.
Speaker: Always shine.
Speaker: Always shine.
Speaker: Don't dim your light.
Speaker: It is safe for you to shine.
Speaker: That's what it says.
Speaker: All right, one second.
Speaker: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker: Patience, will you.
Speaker: Bingo, found it.
Speaker: It is safe for you to shine.
Speaker: This is not the time to hold back.
Speaker: The answer is yes, go forth.
Speaker: Proceed, the time is now.
Speaker: The energy of wishing on a star is coming to you because you are a star, okay?
Speaker: If you've been hanging back or thinking something through before moving forward, or you've been waiting for a sign that it's the right thing to do, please take this card as that sign.
Speaker: Move on up.
Speaker: Positivity, abundance, and excitement.
Speaker: Excitement are surrounding you at this time.
Speaker: Thank you, God.
Speaker: The dreams you've been dreaming are more like visions of what is possible for you.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Know that whatever you're connecting with on the inside is something you'll soon be experiencing in the physical realm.
Speaker: We love that.
Speaker: If you're feeling nervous, shy, or unsure, it's because you care deeply about making a difference and living in the most authentic way possible.
Speaker: Didn't I just say that at the beginning of this podcast?
Speaker: This is what makes you the bright and shiny person you are today.
Speaker: Know that this is not a time to step back or be modest, but to claim what is rightfully yours, reach up, reach higher, and reach higher still.
Speaker: The world is truly your oyster and it's a pleasure for the universe to see you shine.
Speaker: It is safe for you to shine.
Speaker: Let's shine together.
Speaker: Five of the day.
Speaker: I trust in my gifts.
Speaker: I know that I can shine.
Speaker: Forever and always.
Speaker: All right, people.
Speaker: Let's tap into kindness and being kind.
Speaker: And, you know, my intentions of today's episode is to talk about the benefits of being kind and how it serves a greater purpose in the world.
Speaker: But more importantly, how some people can take your kindness for weakness or can take your kindness for granted.
Speaker: Or maybe if you're being too kind, maybe there's a underlining thing there with yourself that you're not looking at.
Speaker: All right, so let's get it right to it.
Speaker: So kindness, right?
Speaker: What is being kind?
Speaker: From my perspective and point of view, the definition of being kind is do for others as you wish someone would do for you.
Speaker: Being gentle, being nice, having compassion, having grace.
Speaker: coming from a place of love and not fear.
Speaker: That's what kindness, being kind means to me.
Speaker: However, you know, sometimes we can get trapped in a cycle of being kind, not too often, but in a way where you're not allowing situations to be what they are, instead you're overcompensating your kindness muscle.
Speaker: So give your example.
Speaker: I was out at Soho House last week.
Speaker: I had a meeting from someone who works within a PR company.
Speaker: He's only a PR, by the way.
Speaker: Shouts out to them.
Speaker: And I was granted a gift.
Speaker: Was very kind of the person.
Speaker: I, right in that moment, say, oh, I got a gift for you.
Speaker: I want to give you an X Miracle Season T-shirt, right?
Speaker: So imagine that.
Speaker: That process, right?
Speaker: That moment.
Speaker: Now imagine me doing that everywhere in my life.
Speaker: You know, someone opens the door for me and then I go to the next door and I open the door for them, right?
Speaker: Or, you know, someone's giving me something or complimenting me and I'm feeling like I'm down planning and got to give them something.
Speaker: Oh, you're amazing too, you know, right?
Speaker: So...
Speaker: What happens in that cycle is that when you're always giving what's given to you that's kind, you don't allow that person kindness to shine within them because it was in their mind and their intentions to give you something without your knowing because that's something that was on their heart that they wanted to do that was nice, that was gentle, that was something that was a kind gesture of them to give you something, right?
Speaker: But when you're in the way of that because you want to throw your kindness on it, you can kind of
Speaker: misplaced the gift of receiving, misplaced the gift of, you know, giving and what they want to do.
Speaker: So that's just one example.
Speaker: Another example is the question comes to mind, like, okay, why are you so kind or why are you so nice, right?
Speaker: You're always saying, yes, sir.
Speaker: Yes, ma'am.
Speaker: You're always giving.
Speaker: You're always paying a tab at every dinner.
Speaker: You're always giving things away.
Speaker: And I have struggled with this in my life.
Speaker: That's why I'm talking about it now.
Speaker: I get to the root of it.
Speaker: You're just a very kind person.
Speaker: Like, Eric, you're so nice.
Speaker: You're just always giving.
Speaker: So what happens is, in my lifetime, I realized, I had to ask myself, okay, why am I so kind?
Speaker: Why am I so nice?
Speaker: Like, where is that coming from?
Speaker: Like, there's nothing wrong with what I'm doing and how I'm doing it.
Speaker: It becomes problematic when it's all the time, always, right?
Speaker: Like, there's a quote that said, you can't be everything for everybody.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: So then I started doing some deep analysis and work on myself and thinking, okay.
Speaker: I remember a friend asking me like, E, like, why are you so nice?
Speaker: Like, why are you so kind?
Speaker: Like, what is that?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And so clearly for me, it was, I want to be liked.
Speaker: I want people to like me.
Speaker: I want their validation.
Speaker: I want their support.
Speaker: I don't want them not to like me.
Speaker: I want to be, you know, admired for what I do.
Speaker: Instead of who I am, but because when you're doing so much, you can't really let people see who you are.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So mine was a wound of abandonment of not feeling worthy and just overly being kind and nice.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Because I think I should, because if I do that, then people like me.
Speaker: Subtle manipulation, but it's deep rooted.
Speaker: So, you know, you don't know until you know.
Speaker: So I say all I have to say, there's nothing wrong with being kind, people.
Speaker: Please do not take the context of what I'm saying for wrong, because it's good to be kind.
Speaker: It's good to be nice.
Speaker: But I also believe in doing things from the right space.
Speaker: So being too kind and too nice, I feel like sometimes comes from a place of lack or comes from a place of fear, right?
Speaker: Mine's that some fear and lack on it.
Speaker: Fearing that I'm not good enough if I don't be kind or nice.
Speaker: Fearing that they might not like me as much if I don't do anything.
Speaker: So.
Speaker: So that's the second one.
Speaker: So the first one, you know, I shared the story about someone give you something you want to give it back.
Speaker: The second one that I just discussed, I talked about, you know.
Speaker: Being kind, being overly kind and figuring out where it comes from.
Speaker: Now, I'm going to bring these two together to make it make sense.
Speaker: And then it's going to be a fourth one and a fourth one.
Speaker: I'm going to bring it all the way around.
Speaker: So the third part of kindness or being too kind or taking kindness for granted is that now you're at a point where you're the person, i.e.
Speaker: me, myself.
Speaker: I know how to give.
Speaker: I know how to love.
Speaker: I know how to share.
Speaker: I know how to be kind.
Speaker: I know how to be nice.
Speaker: So but now I'm at a space in this story that I'm telling you guys is that I've programmed and conditioned myself to be the kind guy, to be the nice guy, to be the guy, the giver, the overachiever, whatever I do.
Speaker: You know, I'm doing it for the wrong reason, but it look like it's the right reasons.
Speaker: So over time, you teach people how to treat you and how to receive from you and greet you.
Speaker: So now you're in this paradigm of this kind guy, you know, the kind person and people appreciate you.
Speaker: You're so sweet.
Speaker: You're such a great person and all these things.
Speaker: So now you didn't build up this perception in their mind that that's who you are.
Speaker: Now you get into a point where you're overly kind all the time and they're expecting you to pay the bill and expecting you to open the door.
Speaker: And because you set the expectations because of your initiation or your intentions, right?
Speaker: So the shadow side of that for that person, I'm talking about myself and many other people, you start to build resentment within yourself for others.
Speaker: But they don't know it because you're like, you're literally doing it, you know, from their eyes, the kindness of your heart.
Speaker: But you're doing it because you want that love and affection.
Speaker: You want that attention.
Speaker: You want to be valued.
Speaker: Whatever it is, right, that I spoke on.
Speaker: But it's not genuine because it's coming from a fearful place and not a loving place.
Speaker: So again, be kind, people.
Speaker: Always be kind.
Speaker: Be kind to yourself.
Speaker: And so the underlying thing is that when you're so kind to others, you take away kindness from yourself.
Speaker: Because if you're overly giving something...
Speaker: Knowing you know why, but you're not giving it to yourself where you should be giving that energy and time to yourself.
Speaker: So that builds resentment.
Speaker: That's the three.
Speaker: That's number three.
Speaker: So you have the giver who gives back.
Speaker: You have two is the overly kind person and what that creates.
Speaker: And three, the condition that you build within yourself and others.
Speaker: You're so kind that people get used to it and anticipate it and expect it.
Speaker: And now you build resentment for them.
Speaker: Because you did this.
Speaker: You're responsible for your kindness.
Speaker: So now, you know, and you pull away the kindness that you need for yourself.
Speaker: And that's, you know, self-respect, creating boundaries, saying no.
Speaker: Now we get into number four where
Speaker: Now all this resentment is built up.
Speaker: Now the people you've been given to over the course of time, say three months or more, now they're taking for granted your kindness.
Speaker: They're misusing it and abusing it because that's what you programmed and conditioned them to.
Speaker: So what happens is now they know if they ask for a ride to the airport, you're going to do it.
Speaker: If, you know, usually you pay the tab at the dinner or the restaurant, right?
Speaker: You don't want us always there.
Speaker: You always pick up the phone call when someone needs help, any device.
Speaker: You're just always just kind, kind person.
Speaker: So you build up this Superman complex or Superwoman or Super, whatever you want to call it, you know, complex.
Speaker: And you don't allow yourself to be seen, felt, or heard because you're covering up your real truth and vulnerability because of fear.
Speaker: So what happens is now this is what emotion of this number five.
Speaker: We're talking about emotions now.
Speaker: Now this is what emotion of anger and frustration comes into play.
Speaker: Now you're angry.
Speaker: Now you're frustrated.
Speaker: Now you're pissed off.
Speaker: Now you're disappointed because it's something you did, something you program people to receive and feel from you.
Speaker: And what happens is when people start taking advantage of the kindness, you build in that resentment, which becomes anger and frustration.
Speaker: And now you look crazy if you disperse in that anger and frustration or you're coming off different or somebody else might get it because you never spoke on it.
Speaker: You was because you're the kind guy.
Speaker: You're too kind.
Speaker: So the moral of the story here, people, is.
Speaker: It's always great to be kind.
Speaker: You should be kind to yourself.
Speaker: You should be kind to others.
Speaker: Love your neighbor as you love thyself, right?
Speaker: Some of us don't love ourselves to know how to love our neighborhood.
Speaker: That's okay.
Speaker: That's another episode.
Speaker: But when you take your kindness too far and you don't check in on why you're so kind or so nice or so giving, you miss out on the kindness you need for yourself.
Speaker: And you create this built-in resentment, anger, and frustration and disappointment because of something you chose to do but wasn't aware of it because you was coming from a lack and limitation place or fearful place.
Speaker: And let's talk about if you're not coming from a fearful or lack of limitation space, and this is just a bonus one, and you're kind, you know, not all the time, but enough times, people still can take that for granted and see it as weakness.
Speaker: People will walk all over you if you don't step up and talk and speak for yourself.
Speaker: So in that aspect, it's okay to be kind, but also speak your truth.
Speaker: If you feel like someone is taking advantage of it or hold people accountable in a diplomatic way.
Speaker: So that's all for this episode.
Speaker: When you take your kindness too far or people take your kindness for granted, kindness is real.
Speaker: Be kind, but also understand where it's coming from.
Speaker: And if you remember the card we pulled,
Speaker: It is safe for you to shine.
Speaker: It's a miracle season.
Speaker: Get your merch 50% off, all caps, MCESON, promo code that is, and go to acemiracleseason.co.
Speaker: Get your shirt, get your hoodie, get your hat, and that'd be a miracle walking in your season.
Speaker: Yeah, guys, subscribe, download this episode, share this if it resonates.
Speaker: And I just want to say thank you.
Speaker: Thank you for being here.
Speaker: Thank you for listening.
Speaker: And please listen to your intuition.
Speaker: And it's okay to be kind, but don't take your kindness too far where you're taking yourself from you.
Speaker: You're taking kindness from yourself and resenting others for your misbehavior.
Speaker: It's a miracle season.
Speaker: Be great.
Speaker: Peace and love.
