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Episode 4! In this episode, Katie and Carly discuss the movie Clock and its themes of Jewish intergenerational trauma, gynecological trauma, and the pressure to get pregnant. Sorry we’ve been away for a while! We’re getting back on schedule and will be releasing more recordings soon. Coming up we have discussions of the movies Hereditary, Smile, and a discussion on mental health in horror.
Disclaimer: we’re both from Ashkenazi backgrounds and are discussing Jewish topics through that lens
Mention of Sounds Like A Cult podcast. They can be found wherever you listen to podcasts and at their website: www.soundslikeacult.com/
Alexis Jacknow on the Jewish themes in Clock (Hulu) on Friday Night Movie
Clock: Dianna Agron & Alexis Jacknow Talk Hulu Psychological Horror Movie
Music used under Creative Commons License 4.0
Horror Monster Sound: Preparing For Battle (Vol 002)
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Transcript
Introduction and Movie Overview
00:00:09
Speaker
Welcome to What Haunts You, a podcast about the stories that haunt our dreams. I'm Carly. And I'm Katie. Today we are discussing Clock. It's a pretty new movie. I think I actually watched it the day it came out and was like, where'd this come from? Oh, wow. Came out on Hulu on 331.23.
00:00:30
Speaker
Um, and it's directed by Alexis Jack now.
Content Warnings and Viewer Discretion
00:00:35
Speaker
Um, I am going to say for this one, a content warning. I think we've kind of decided that it's too difficult to include content warnings for everything. I don't know if that's a word, but, but this movie does open up with a pretty graphic suicide. So I just want to mention that that's like the first immediate scene.
00:00:56
Speaker
Yeah. And there's also like pretty graphic gynecological labor scenes as well. Oh yeah. Very, very, very graphic. Yeah. So be careful with yourself. And yeah, something we were talking about in general is just that there are like with horror, there is a lot of disturbing content and that it's probably best for people to use their own discretion and like look up
00:01:26
Speaker
what content warnings might be there. I don't know if I've ever seen a professionally done movie put in their description or something, but like people will write articles about it.
00:01:37
Speaker
Yeah, you can usually find articles.
Importance of Content Guidance
00:01:40
Speaker
Some good ways of checking also are you can look up like parents guides to different movies because it gives parents things like, oh, if your kid watches this, this may be like a conversation to have or whatever, which we can, there's a whole can of worms to that, I guess, but it is a good place to just find potential content warnings. And I think that if you are a horror fan and also a person who really needs or wants the content warnings,
00:02:06
Speaker
get in the practice of checking multiple sources really, because no one source is going to know exactly what people are needing warnings about. I don't know. It's just tricky. So I don't want, I don't want to be relied upon for that too heavily. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. And I think I'll probably keep mentioning them when they're ones that seem super relevant to me. But, but yeah, I'm probably not going to mention every thing either.
00:02:33
Speaker
Yeah. This whole movie is a trigger warning for me, to be honest. I'm like... Yeah, I know. But that's also why I thought you would like it. As soon as I saw it, I was like, oh man, this is all of Carly's shit. In good and bad ways. Yeah, no, it was... And you were right to have me watch it.
00:02:54
Speaker
I hadn't even heard of it, actually. You were like, you should watch this movie. Well, it just came out.
Jewish Themes and Societal Pressures
00:03:00
Speaker
I know, but I feel like I watch a lot of Hulu. Yeah, I didn't see any ads for it. Yeah, and I feel like, exactly. Yeah, I hadn't seen anything about it. And I guess, yeah, we got on it pretty quickly because you watched it the day it came out and then basically immediately we're like, you need to see this.
00:03:16
Speaker
Um, I have also since recommended it to some people who also need to see it. Um, but yeah, okay. So we, I guess let's, let's like explain why this is maybe like a particularly, uh, resonant movie for me, for us. Okay. The reasons it feels resonant to me, I mean, one of the biggest things is the lead actress and the director are Jewish and they put a lot of stuff about Jewish intergenerational trauma.
00:03:44
Speaker
into it and I think also like with me I'm like kind of trying to decide if I want to have children or not and the movie is like all about that and
00:03:56
Speaker
And about especially like, like there's so much pressure put on women to have children in general or anyone with a uterus. And, but there is like specifically more pressure from certain cultures. Like Jewish people have had so many struggles to survive to this day that it's like, there's like even more pressure to continue your family.
Ella’s Story and Familial Expectations
00:04:24
Speaker
Yeah. Um, I think I'm going to do.
00:04:27
Speaker
like, I'm going to try to do like an elevator pitch of this movie. Okay. Um, because it feels just like, I don't know, I don't think that's like always necessary. But I feel like for this one to just route us somewhere, maybe it would be good. So this movie is about
00:04:43
Speaker
Jewish woman who's mid to late 30s, right? She's like turning 38. And she does not want kids. And her husband is telling her that's fine. Her dad's not super cool with it. And she goes to the doctor to fix her biological clock, essentially, and like embarks on this like experimental journey to treat that as a fertility issue. And does it work? Does it not work? Questionable? I don't know. But it doesn't go well, obviously, and we'll get into like the details. But
00:05:13
Speaker
Um, one of the kind of roots that comes up, this is not an elevator pitch. I realize it's like, no, I thought that was a good summary. I thought you ended it and now you're going somewhere else. But I do, I do want to go through kind of the beginning scenes a little more thoroughly, but I think it's good to summarize first. Yeah. And I think that, um, I, I, I feel like.
00:05:35
Speaker
Katie and I are both Jewish. I don't like remember if we've said that on the show or not, but we are. And so obviously being, I guess younger than she is, but like kind of same age group as the kind of main, the lead in the movie, it was definitely, it felt very heavy to watch and like very confronting in a variety of ways. And I will also say just, this is more a me thing. I have like serious issues around pregnancy stuff. Like I, it really freaks me out.
00:06:05
Speaker
have a hard time finding it beautiful when other people are pregnant, even if they're really happy. I'm going to be laughing out of discomfort the whole time we're talking about it, I'm sure, because I can feel it in my body already. Yeah. That's interesting to me. And I've always thought
00:06:27
Speaker
pregnancy and birth were fascinating. I watch videos of labor regularly just cause I think it's so cool. Um, Oh my God. Uh, but like, as my life has changed and like now that I'm at the age, like I thought I was going to have kids in my twenties, but it wasn't the right time. And now that it may be is I'm still like, Oh, I thought this would be
00:06:55
Speaker
easier. I thought I would have more money and stability and like, and have care needs for
Lineage Pressure in Jewish Culture
00:07:00
Speaker
myself. So it's, yeah, it's, it's just a big decision, no matter when and, and it's a decision that everyone should get to make. I thought this was like, especially interesting, watching it. And like that it came out just like a couple of months after Roe v Wade was overturned.
00:07:20
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, it's definitely not focused around the right to choose as it relates to abortion, but it is definitely centered around just like the emotional right to choose in general. And definitely I feel like it brought that stuff up for me just because it was so much like, if you don't want children, you're broken. Like that's just like the message that everybody who's in like the medical establishment space is giving from this movie.
00:07:48
Speaker
And the way they talk about biological clocks is like it's almost that feels like a supernatural element of this to me almost is like they talk about biological clocks like it is like this physical part of you. Right. Instead of like a metaphor. Yeah, well, and they even describe it, the first doctor she sees even like explicitly describes her biological clock as being broken.
00:08:14
Speaker
Um, and her response to that is actually like, does that mean we could fix it? Which is kind of, I think that that kind of brings me to like one of my kind of central thoughts about this that I can't really relate to, but that must be really agonizing for people of wanting to want a baby.
00:08:34
Speaker
Right? Like not wanting a baby, but like wanting to want it, right? And like being in this world, not wanting it and like knowing that in some ways, yeah, it will make your life way more difficult to have a baby, but in some ways, like it would make some things a little easier. And it's, yeah, I mean, I can't even imagine.
00:08:53
Speaker
Yeah, I don't think I know anyone. I've never heard from somebody who's had that personal experience other than in the story. I have a lot of friends who have deeply known that they don't want children from a young age. So that doesn't seem odd to me, but I don't know anybody who doesn't, but wants to want, but I think it makes a lot of sense with her dad and her family history.
00:09:20
Speaker
And I think it seems like her husband wants children also, but is okay with not wanting, but I kind of want to go from here into, so there's the opening suicide scene and we see like this piece of a clock come out of her and she's like bleeding at the beginning and then she hangs herself with the swings, which is, I think like the most disturbing part of that for me is like what you don't see and just like imagining kids finding her. Yeah, at a playground.
Ella’s Child-Free Life Montage
00:09:50
Speaker
Yeah. And then it goes immediately to like this bright, happy party that I think is like a baby shower. Yeah.
00:10:00
Speaker
And then there's all these women kind of pestering Ella, who's the main character, played by Diana Agron. Agron or Argon? I'm not sure. Agron. And it was interesting to see her in this role, because the last thing I saw her in was as Quinn and Glee.
00:10:22
Speaker
I've never seen her in anything I don't think I didn't I didn't recognize her and yeah so she's in this party her friends are all like oh my god babies are amazing I love babies but also talking about like horrific things that have happened to their bodies like
00:10:38
Speaker
She's like, oh yeah, I had a cyst on my vagina. And then somebody else is like, did they pop it? And then a little girl pops the balloon like right when that happens. And there's a kid in the tree. And I was like, why is no one watching the kid in the tree? And of course, he falls out. But one of the women says to the main character, Ella, what do you do all day if you don't have children? And then it goes into this fantastic montage of her just like,
00:11:07
Speaker
getting amazing food and her husband going down on her and she's like
00:11:11
Speaker
swimming in a pool and getting massages and like having a career. Yeah. And I like that they show her like they make it very clear in this montage that she's like in dynamic, dynamic community with people. Right. They show her she's going to do her friend's nursery. She has like a career that she clearly seems to love. And even they show her like bringing groceries to like an old lady or something. And it doesn't really come back to that. But it's like
00:11:39
Speaker
right? She's looking out for people. She's clearly in like some sort of like, right friendship with the guy who runs the paint store that she frequents. Like they have this cute little connection. And so they really do show her like living this very full life while like her friends are like, why do you like how do you spend your time? Right? Yeah. Oh, right. Career. I actually didn't even think about that. But she does like she like
00:12:07
Speaker
while she's going on this journey of trying to want to get pregnant, she like completely abandons her career. And yeah, that's interesting side commentary. Yeah, and I think especially
00:12:25
Speaker
Um, she was a designer, right? An interior designer or like something along those lines. And I think- And like a famous one seemingly. Yeah. She was like really up and coming it seemed. And I think of that type of job also as like such a passion project type of job. Like I think people who
00:12:42
Speaker
get into things like design are there because they love it and they really want to do it and it like really brings like joy into their lives. Right? It's like a creative and like inspired job, right? She probably isn't just like sitting there bored all day. And I think that's like also very significant that they didn't just give her like a random like office job that like she was like not having a good time at. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good point.
00:13:07
Speaker
Um, they're on also another recurring theme is eggs throughout it. And this is the, at the parties the first time we see that they're having caviar. Um, and there's just eggs everywhere in this movie and then some gross egg things too. Yeah. Yeah.
Jewish Trauma and Dream Analysis
00:13:26
Speaker
Some licking of frozen raw eggs. Very, very cute. Yeah. I was wondering like what that actually was because they didn't, they must not have had her.
00:13:35
Speaker
like raw eggs, but I don't know. Yeah. So yeah, then I think the next scene is the Shabbat dinner. Yeah.
00:13:49
Speaker
And that's when I had texted you originally and been like, oh, they're Jewish. And I think you had texted me because you didn't end up watching it for like a month later and you were like, oh, they're Jewish. And I was like, yeah, it's a thing. I thought that it was gonna be, this is funny though, because I was like, oh, it's a horror movie. And like, they're Jewish. And that's awesome. Of course, Katie wanted me to watch this. I like had no
00:14:12
Speaker
idea like the level of deep that you were going to take me with this movie. I thought that it was like, Oh, this is cute. Like they happen to be Jewish. I like did not realize that like, that's the whole story. Yeah. Also like a random throwaway bit that I like just that her dad like loves and collects hospital pens. Yeah. Yeah. Which is like, very cute, very cute. And like, I think that feels like true to me on some level of just like, the type of like,
00:14:42
Speaker
Jewish men of that age will do. Jewish Jewish people in general, really. But yeah, they're at the dinner and they are talking and the dad brings up like, oh, there's a couple like empty seats at this table or whatever. And she, you know, is kind of trying to say, like trying to brush that conversation off. And he says to her at one point, like about
00:15:06
Speaker
Um, she's not wanting to talk about like the ancestors, right? And like the people who have suffered, the people who have died. And he says to her, their story is your story and it's much bigger than you. It's the story of your ancestors that survived the camps. And for it to all end with just you, like he says that to her at the table, which is so. Yeah, that was heavy. And I feel like that's something that is so often implied, but not said directly and like hearing it out loud. I was like, Oh, that's the, that's the thing.
00:15:36
Speaker
Yeah, no, I like felt it in my I like felt that like sink into my like chest and like stomach. And I think also like something that even I can't imagine like the level to which this amps that pressure up is like she's clearly an only child. Yeah, I'm an only child. You know, yeah, I'm not. I'm not an only child. I also have cousins on both sides. I'm like good, I feel okay. But I can't even imagine like the added level of pressure to
00:16:06
Speaker
Yeah, to have it not end with you. And I think the fact that it was explicitly stated and not looming over the conversation was so powerful. I couldn't believe I was hearing that said out loud. Yeah. Yeah, I thought it was really interesting. And this is a major spoiler, so I'm not sure if I should say it yet or say it later. I mean, I feel like we're
00:16:37
Speaker
I, there's too many things that are important to talk about that are like going to be spoilers so I think, I think, spoiler alert for the rest of it. So I think it's so interesting that the grandmother is the villain, because that is just
00:16:52
Speaker
atypical. And it's like, yeah, she's just like this representation of all of the pressure that's been put on her. And
Generational Pressure Symbolism
00:17:03
Speaker
she's fucking terrifying. I was like actually super scared of her.
00:17:08
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, wow. I think that's really interesting to me because I didn't like label her as the villain. Oh, really? At all. I like labeled her kind of as like a specter. You know what I mean? Of like a thing that is haunting her but like not like actually
00:17:29
Speaker
Yeah, not a villain. I think I saw it more like that in retrospect after finding out that she was the grandmother, but definitely during it she seemed like she was chasing her and she was going to hurt her.
00:17:48
Speaker
Yeah, I think she was chasing me. Yeah. And it is like it's also like soul crashing to think about like when like she was like screaming in her face, but she like doesn't make any sound and I like you ever have like dreams when you're trying to scream and you can't it's so I hate that. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, and I think about like
00:18:13
Speaker
This is really not graphic, but this is a lot that is about to come out of my mouth. And obviously, I think the grandmother was the one person who made it in their family. I think it was both her grandparents, it sounded like, but yeah, just them.
00:18:31
Speaker
Yeah, okay. So she's one of the ones who made it. But I also think about like trying to scream with no air in your lungs. Yeah, yeah. And like, that's like truthfully like where like, like, I think the dream thing makes a lot of sense too, though. I like didn't even think about it that way. Because my my brain went right to like, you got to breathe to scream like, which is yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah.
00:18:57
Speaker
I sent you that meme yesterday that was like when you have a pogrom dream, then you know it's your ancestors telling you to kick your nervous system up or something. I don't know. Yeah. Well, and I think that's funny that you were even talking about the grandmother chasing her because that is how I feel.
00:19:19
Speaker
I've like told you this before, like I have like dreams of being like locked in buildings and like having those buildings set on fire. And I've like had those dreams for my whole life. And it is like that it is like they're just chasing you and like making sure you're never really getting out of fight or flight, basically. Yeah, I have dreams like that a lot as well, sometimes with fire, but
00:19:46
Speaker
definitely always being locked up somewhere or just like just being on the run and like knowing somebody is trying to kill me. That's like my most recurring nightmare. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:20:01
Speaker
Since we're up in the pogroms and Holocaust imagery stuff, I also wanted to... I think this is the one thing to me that struck me as incredibly unbelievable that the kind of symbol of their family in this movie is this grandfather block. And the idea is that this is the one thing we were able to recover.
Symbolism of the Grandfather Clock
00:20:25
Speaker
feel like that's such bullshit. I was thinking that too. I was like, okay, realistically, how did you get that? How did you bring it? Were you carrying it? I mean, maybe, but I feel like... But he did say that they recovered afterwards, so it was like... That didn't happen that much though. People weren't trying to go back to their houses. No, no. And people lost their problems. And weren't allowed to. Right.
00:20:54
Speaker
great-grandfather's whole family, he got here, but they had a farm in Austria. There was no getting that back. There was no, let's go over there and see what things we can reclaim. Some people, there are exceptions, but a grandfather clock seems like such an absurd thing to be able to get back to me. I know. I was thinking that the whole time too. He put it on his back. I guess that's a tall-ass woman, but I don't know if she could get it.
00:21:23
Speaker
carry a grandfather clock. I don't know. That's such a kind of petty thing because it works so well for the movie, but I do remember immediately being like, I don't know about that. I feel like it would have made sense more if it was the first thing they bought in America. Yeah, that would have worked, I think, for me a little bit better. But I guess it wouldn't have worked for
00:21:46
Speaker
Well, because one of the so when she is talking to the psychologist about why she saw a grandfather clock, first of all, she says coffin, she's like a Freudian slip and says coffin. But one of the things that the psychologist asks her is like, does that clock become meaningless if you make no errors to pass it on to? And like, that is why it like needed to come from like the old country, right? Like, that's why it needed to make the journey. Because it's like,
00:22:15
Speaker
I know that line still gives me goosebumps. Yeah, I know. Honestly, I feel very, as we're talking about this movie, and I felt this way when we have talked about it a little before, I can feel in my whole body just a buzz. You know what I mean? Same, yeah. A pleasant one. Definitely not a pleasant one.
00:22:36
Speaker
I feel like something happening in my whole body while we're talking about this movie. I know. That's why I was like, we need to talk about this movie. Yeah, I feel it too. And I don't know if anyone from my family... As far as I know, everyone who we know about came to Philadelphia, but
00:23:01
Speaker
But I know that there were definitely family members who were killed in pogroms before, and that's why they were leaving. And I know there were children out of wedlock who were left there. Some of them were able to get out. And I know that I found the town or village that my family was from.
00:23:23
Speaker
And in the history of that town, I found that nobody from that area was taken to camps. They just shot them all and threw them in a river. Yeah. So that's, yeah. And she has a conversation with her, with the doctor who's
00:23:50
Speaker
played by the woman who plays Jan in the office, which I thought was like a funny casting. I didn't even I like I thought it worked, but it was like it was funny for me to watch. Yeah. Well, and I kind of as they're talking, you know, she's really like she's not beating around the bush about like
00:24:10
Speaker
being Jewish, antisemitism, the Holocaust.
Antisemitism Concerns and Societal Fears
00:24:12
Speaker
She's not tiptoeing around it and you just see the discomfort in the psychologist or psychiatrist. I don't remember what she is. I think she's a psychiatrist, bubbling up and bubbling up. She says that her background is in gynecology with an emphasis on the cognitive side. I wrote that down because I was like, what?
00:24:33
Speaker
I don't think that's... I guess that makes sense on some level because her whole deal is treating a lack of desire for babies as a fertility issue and not just maybe it's just fine if you don't want babies. Right.
00:24:50
Speaker
Yeah, but I want to talk about that scene though more actually where okay, so she's talking to the I guess gynecologist whatever she's doing counseling whether that's, I think we have to say first so like she goes to the gynecologist who says that her biological clock is broken and that woman gives her a phone number to go to this place and she's supposed to be going on a work trip she doesn't tell her husband
00:25:13
Speaker
that she's not going on the work trip, which I thought was kind of weird because her husband wants her to have a baby. It was strange the whole time. But I guess like that plot line just wouldn't have really worked if he knew about it. I also feel like if it didn't work, yeah, I don't know.
00:25:27
Speaker
she didn't want to get his hopes up. I can see that too. So she goes to this place and it's like, I mean, I kept calling it the pregnancy cult in my notes. That's like pretty much what it was. And I was talking to Pat a lot about that afterwards. And I really think so we've both been listening to sounds like a cult. And I think they should do
00:25:47
Speaker
an episode on like the cult of pregnancy or like something like I don't know like what it would be but like mommy Facebook group. Yeah. And I was telling Pat because he's like, I was like, I feel like on your feed, there isn't the same, like,
00:26:02
Speaker
Subconscious social pressure to have kids and it's not like it's not like people are like you should have kids to me I mean like outside of my family. There's like is pressure like But I just see like my whole news feed is pregnant people and babies Oh, yeah, and so I so there's like this constant like oh Like should I be doing that and and it's like it's something I wanted most of my life It's just only recently become something I've been like
00:26:30
Speaker
Okay, now I should actually consider how that would fit into my life. But it is weird, especially the social media showing of it, because I have friends who have kids who I hang out with, and it is much different being in a room with a kid for 24 hours than it is seeing one picture.
00:26:56
Speaker
of them having like their happiest moment of the day. For sure, for sure. So yeah, so Jan from the office who's Dr. Simmons, she comes to this place and they're like, all right, we're going to give you some medication. I don't think they even mentioned that the device until later, but eventually they're like, we're going to do this device. But then they're like,
00:27:20
Speaker
Okay. It's like a mix of medication and like therapy basically, but this woman doesn't seem to actually have credentials. She takes out this board and she's like, all right, we're going to look at some images. Tell me what you see. And she's like, right. She basically does like a Rorschach test type of thing, but it's like more, I guess, like psychedelic. It was pretty psychedelic. Yeah.
00:27:44
Speaker
And so the things that come up are the grandfather clock. Grandfather clock, spiders. Specifically a dead family of spiders. That's what she says. The tall woman who later becomes her grandmother, but that's the only one she doesn't immediately tie something to. Yeah. And...
00:28:11
Speaker
No, that's the same thing. I feel like it was like rats, but that's like kind of the same imagery as spiders. I think. Wasn't it only three? Was it more than three things? I thought it was four, but I only wrote down three. I think it was just the three. She sees them pop up as like 3D images that are all moving except for the spiders, which is how she knows they're dead and they're on their backs. Yeah.
00:28:38
Speaker
I think that, and this is when the doctor asks, when they come back to this the next day and it's like, okay, what were those things? Like, what's this about? That's when the doctor says, like, is the clock like meaningless if you don't make errors to pass it on to? Yeah. Yeah. Another thing that she said that I wrote down is the single evolutionary goal of a species is to procreate, which I kind of think that makes sense. Like, yeah, sure.
00:29:08
Speaker
I also think that's one of the ways that humans' minds have evolved, where we think about it to the point where we're like, but should I do that? That's our whole thing. Right. No, for sure. I think we have a little more awareness of stuff.
00:29:29
Speaker
I think that that's true, and also it's the continuation of the species, and I don't need to have a baby to support that endeavor, if that makes sense. But I do feel differently about it when I think about it from a Jewish perspective. I don't need to do that to continue the species, but I might need to do that to continue the species. Continue the Jews. Yeah. No, I definitely understand that. Well, and I think that comes to the...
00:29:59
Speaker
some of the other conversation that they have, right, of the pressure to carry on, right, for our ancestors, we are so, so we are a speck, right, in the human population, and the pressure of not like letting that end with us, whatever, like whatever that means to the get like a given person. But then also, right,
00:30:23
Speaker
the conversation of like, oh, and you're scared to bring a baby into a world where something like the Holocaust could happen. And she says anybody who isn't isn't paying attention. And I literally that's like the crux of it. And I think and they get into this conversation about like. I think something really interesting happens where the doctor tries to be like calls it. What does she what is she says the ultimate ultimate evil? Right. Why do you say that? Right. And and you can see her
00:30:54
Speaker
not actually wanting to look at that, like not actually wanting to even, and to kind of be like, well, I don't have to tell you, like, you know what I mean? And it's like, but you said it. So like, yeah, maybe, maybe you do. And she's, I actually have like parts of this quote written down. She says, because things were good and it happened between neighbors and friends, husbands and wives, doctors and patients, deep down people understand that if it happened there and then,
00:31:19
Speaker
It could happen here and now, what somebody can do to another human being if society just gave them permission to. Yeah, I wrote that down too. And then that's also where the dead spiders come in, where she says, they called us bugs until people believed them. You exterminate bugs. And when they were done, they piled us on top of each other, our bodies.
Cultural Trauma Confrontation
00:31:44
Speaker
kind of all of this wrapping into, right, the pressure to have kids, but also like the why the fuck would you have kids of it all? Right, especially like now I'm thinking about like,
00:31:54
Speaker
growing anti-Semitism, my intergenerational spidey senses. They're tingling. Yeah. And being like, literally, like specifically at this time in this world, is it safe to have children? I mean, I know. Especially in this country. Yeah, in this country, right. And I think that
00:32:16
Speaker
I mean, there was a time quite I mean, you know, like since pandemic days began, whatever where I, you know, you know, this like I walked out of my house and there were Jewish stars and swastikas all over the place outside, right outside where I live. And like I I can't like even I can't even really wrap my brain around trying to explain that to a child. We have kids in our building like we have Jewish kids like who live in our building and I like
00:32:46
Speaker
I don't know that, you know what I mean? I don't know them like that. So I wasn't gonna be like, oh, are your kids okay? But I was thinking just, God, for these parents to have to explain that. And obviously, they probably already know some of it, but just, you know? It's- Yeah, that's something I've thought about too, because the world seemed a lot safer when I was a kid, partially from being a kid, but also there just wasn't
00:33:17
Speaker
as much obvious antisemitism. There were swastikas drawn all over my local train station when I was at home recently. Oh my God, yeah. And like that. I can't imagine that happening ever when I was a kid. Yeah, no, me neither. And I'm sure it did. I'm sure it did, but I... Yeah, I mean, and I think
00:33:47
Speaker
for my grandmother, who was not a Holocaust survivor, to be clear, for her to walk out and see that and have to be reckoning with the wax and wane of how that stuff goes. Yeah, the cyclical nature.
00:34:06
Speaker
you know that it was good. I think that's kind of actually the point of that scene right is that like things kind of were bad right even here for a while and then they kind of got good or got okay, got as good as they get.
00:34:22
Speaker
maybe. I think that scene is when I started looking up the director and stuff because I was like, okay, this movie is definitely like not only starring a Jewish actress, but was definitely made by Jews. Right. Because like, this isn't the way that the go I'm talking about. No, no, definitely not. And I think that that was also where I was like, Oh, this isn't like a little Oh, cute. They're Jewish. Like, this is like about like, this is what this movie is about. I think it's like about it in a loose enough way that like anyone who has like,
00:34:50
Speaker
pressure to bear children could definitely walk away with some serious things to think about and some good perspective or whatever. But I mean, it's really inseparable from what the movie is actually getting at. And I think that you can zoom that out to any other thing, right? What if you have a trans kid today?
00:35:13
Speaker
Right? Like what if you are a person of color? What if 10 million things? What if you have a severely disabled kid? What if anything? And obviously this movie is so specific to Jewish stuff, but I think there's still kind of meat there for anybody who's looking.
Ella’s Hallucinations and Mental State
00:35:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:38
Speaker
So after that scene, she goes to her room. And that's when she actually didn't notice the first time I watched it, but I noticed the second time that the clock is ticking like super loudly when she goes back to her room. And then and then she starts seeing spiders. And this is like the beginning of a lot of hallucinations. This was like a big thing that resonated with me also is just like the
00:36:05
Speaker
gynecological torture. Like, I mean, gynecology was invented from torturing enslaved people, and it is not humane a lot of the time, in my opinion. I agree. Oh, you know what we need to talk about, though? We need to talk about the tank. We need to talk about the tank. We're getting to the tank. The tank hasn't happened yet in my... Okay. But yeah, that...
00:36:33
Speaker
I almost gave you a content warning about that because I was like, oh, this is rough. But you were like, you're already telling me too much. Hot tip for anyone ever trying to recommend a movie to me, literally just give me the movie title and the year it came out. And only the year if I need it for if there's 10 movies named that or whatever. Don't tell me anything.
00:36:58
Speaker
So, I think we meet the tall woman in person for the first time before the tank. It's before the tank when she goes out and is smoking a cigarette with that woman, right? Or is that after the tank? I'm pretty sure it's before. No, she... I don't remember.
00:37:16
Speaker
I don't remember. The tank stands out in my mind as this massive looming scene that envelops everything on either side of it a little bit. Yeah. So I'm pretty sure it was before because she leaves pretty soon after that. So she goes outside and is talking about her day.
00:37:41
Speaker
Oh yeah, here. I wrote it there. They're smoking cigarettes. I kind of thought that was like a symbol of like something you can't do once you're pregnant or like when you're trying to be pregnant that they were like...
00:37:51
Speaker
This is our one glimpse of freedom and like doing something for ourselves, even though it's like a bad thing for us. I didn't even, you know what? I didn't even think about that, but I actually like, I like that view on that a lot, that like, that's, that's like a very non-pregnant lady to be doing. Yeah. And then the other woman like goes and the other woman is like, Oh, is this like your last day or whatever? And she's like, I'm getting the device tomorrow. And, uh, and Ella's like,
00:38:22
Speaker
Okay. And she like seems to be like, why am I here? But it's just like forcing herself through it, which I think is like also just like what women and femmes are programmed to do so much of the time. It's like, I guess this is the thing I'm supposed to do for society. So okay. And then after the other woman walks away, she like looks up and sees the tall woman in the window. And that like,
00:38:51
Speaker
that genuinely terrified me. That was like a jump scare for me. And I think it was kind of set up that way, but it was like, I'm still, I'm going to have nightmares about this woman tonight.
00:39:08
Speaker
I'm gonna have nightmares about the tank scene. Yeah. Okay, so now we can go to the tank scene. This is the worst. Okay. I don't actually think I'm exaggerating. I think that that was the hardest thing to watch that I have ever seen in my entire life. I can see that. I wrote down, this scene is fucking dramatic, but that's the point. Yeah, it was bad. It was so bad.
00:39:34
Speaker
I couldn't believe, I mean, I was watching and I was like, I mean, I was like actively squirming. I honestly thought I was going to vomit at one point. I was like having heart palpitations. I was so fucked up. Like I was, I was so like shaken by it. And so just like distraught is like the only word that I can even think of.
00:39:55
Speaker
Yeah, I can imagine how that would be. It was pretty cringy for me too. And like I said, I watch labor videos all the time. Like it wasn't just like,
00:40:05
Speaker
the labor of it. It was like, there's like a baby like hanging from, that wasn't even that bad. That was the part that bothered me. The baby like hanging from the cord and just like dangling through the legs. Yeah. And then the woman had her head like tilted to the side in a way that was reminiscent of the bent neck lady from Haunting of Hill House.
00:40:28
Speaker
Oh yeah, it did kind of have that vibe. It did. But yeah, it's actually funny because I think I texted you at this part where when she's first talking to the doctor and the doctor's like, do you think you might have tocophobia? And she's like, what's that? And she's like pathological for your pregnancy. And I was like, that's me. I know you texted me. That's me. Have you looked into that more? I'm interested in the history of that.
00:40:54
Speaker
term. I looked it up just to like make sure that it was a real word because I like I never heard it before. And it seems to be and there's two types. There's like one that's like spontaneous like how you would describe I guess mine and then there's like if you've had like a miscarriage or like a traumatic pregnancy or like if you have it like following something that would activate that and you kind of like reasonably so.
00:41:16
Speaker
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I have the fully irrational kind. Yeah, I have the fully irrational kind. I've never had any sort of actual negative experiences relating to pregnancy. I guess being in the womb probably was something, and being born, I'm sure, was something. I don't remember all that, but when they did say it, I was like, I feel like that's me. And then when I was watching the
00:41:43
Speaker
When I was watching the movie, and they play back for her the scene from the tank, and she's able to sit through it, and the doctor's like, see, that's already progress. I couldn't sit through it that time either. I was like, well, it's not working for me.
00:41:57
Speaker
You have to go in the tank. When I watched the movie a second and a third time, I watched it in the reflection in the sliding glass to my house. I couldn't even watch the actual TV. I was messed up. That's interesting. I think this is part of the biological clock thing again too.
00:42:19
Speaker
her voice over the video or whatever that's playing in the tank is like, we're going to be repairing the clock today. And it sounds like very meditative. And then she's like talking and she's like, I'll walk you through it. It's so, yeah, so weird. And then she's like, I gotta get out of here. I gotta get out of here. And she opens the
00:42:44
Speaker
tank door or somebody else does, and it's the tall woman. That was also a dare fact. And she runs, she goes to run and she slips and she hits her head on a chair. And I was like, God damn it. Before I move on- I would, nothing could have scared me at that point.
00:43:00
Speaker
That's funny. It didn't scare me at all. It didn't scare me at all because I was already like, I was so far over the edge of being just freaked the fuck out that like nothing, it wouldn't have mattered. Well, you probably experienced it more like the character did then because I that part was like, I was like, this is fucked up. But it wasn't scary to me. It was just like,
00:43:21
Speaker
okay like this is the point where like I mean there were multiple points I always feel this way whenever there's like any like culty elements in movies where I'm like okay so this is the I kind of think that makes sense like yeah sure but I also think that's one of the ways that humans minds have evolved where we like think about it to the point where we're like
00:43:46
Speaker
But should I do that? Right. That's like our whole thing. Right. No, for sure. I think right. We have like a little more awareness of stuff. And I think that.
Historical Injustices in Medical Procedures
00:43:59
Speaker
I think that that's true and also it's the continuation of the species and I don't need to have a baby to support that endeavor, if that makes sense. But I do feel differently about it when I think about it from a Jewish perspective. I don't need to do that to continue the species, but I might need to do that to continue the species. Continue the Jews. Yeah, I definitely understand that. Well, and I think that comes to
00:44:27
Speaker
um, the, some of the other conversation that they have, right, of the pressure to carry on, right, for our ancestors, we are so, so we are a speck, right, in the human population and
00:44:44
Speaker
the pressure of not letting that end with us, whatever that means to a given person. But then also, the conversation of, oh, and you're scared to bring a baby into a world where something like the Holocaust could happen. And she says, anybody who isn't paying attention. And I think that's the crux of it. And they get into this conversation about,
00:45:10
Speaker
I think something really interesting happens where the doctor tries to be, calls it, what does she call it? She says the ultimate evil. The ultimate evil, right. She says, why do you say that? Right. And you can see her not actually wanting to look at that, not actually wanting to even, and to kind of be like, well, I don't have to tell you. You know what I mean? And it's like, but you said it. So yeah, maybe you do.
00:45:33
Speaker
And I actually have parts of this quote written down. She says, because things were good and it happened between neighbors and friends, husbands and wives, doctors and patients, deep down people understand that if it happened there and then, it could happen here and now, what somebody can do to another human being if society just gave them permission to.
00:45:56
Speaker
Yeah, I wrote that down too. And then that's also where the dead spiders come in, where she says, they called us bugs until people believed them. You exterminate bugs. And when they were done, they piled us on top of each other, our bodies. And kind of all of this wrapping into, right, the pressure to have kids, but also like the why the fuck would you have kids of it all? Right, especially like now I'm thinking about like,
00:46:24
Speaker
growing anti-Semitism, my intergenerational spidey senses. They're tingling. Yeah. And being like, literally, like specifically at this time in this world, is it safe to have children? I mean, I know. Especially in this country. Yeah, in this country, right. And I think that
00:46:46
Speaker
I mean, there was a time quite, I mean, you know, like since pandemic days began, whatever, where I, you know, you know, this like I walked out of my house and there were Jewish stars and swastikas all over the place outside, right outside where I live. And like I I can't like even I can't even really wrap my brain around trying to explain that to a child. We have kids in our building like we have Jewish kids like who live in our building and I like
00:47:16
Speaker
I don't know that, you know what I mean? I don't know them like that. So I wasn't gonna be like, oh, are your kids okay? But I was thinking just like, God, for these parents to have to explain that. And obviously, they probably already know some of it, but just, you know? Yeah, that's something I've thought about too, because the world seemed a lot safer when I was a kid, partially from being a kid, but also there just wasn't
00:47:47
Speaker
as much obvious antisemitism. There were swastikas drawn all over my local train station when I was at home recently. Oh my God, yeah. And like that. I can't imagine that happening ever when I was a kid. Yeah, no, me neither. And I'm sure it did. I'm sure it did, but I... Yeah, I mean, and I think
00:48:17
Speaker
for my grandmother, who was not a Holocaust survivor, to be clear, for her to walk out and see that and have to be kind of reckoning with the
00:48:29
Speaker
kind of wax and wane of how that stuff goes. Yeah, the cyclical nature. Right, right. And, you know, that it was good. I think that's kind of actually the point of that scene, right? Is that like things kind of were bad, right? Even here for a while and then they kind of got good or got okay, got as good as they get.
00:48:52
Speaker
I think that scene is when I started looking up the director and stuff because I was like, okay, this movie is definitely not only starring a Jewish actress, but was definitely made by Jews because this isn't the way that the goyim talk about this. No, no, definitely not. And I think that that was also where I was like, oh, this isn't like a little, oh, cute, they're Jewish. This is what this movie is about.
00:49:16
Speaker
I think it's about it in a loose enough way that anyone who has pressure to bear children could definitely walk away with some serious things to think about and some good perspective or whatever. But I mean, it's really inseparable from what the movie is actually getting at.
00:49:35
Speaker
I think that it's, you know, and I think that you can zoom that out to like any other thing, right? Like what if you have a trans kid today, right? Like what if you are a person of color? Like what if 10 million things? What if you have a severely disabled kid, right? Like what if anything? And obviously this movie is like so specific to Jewish stuff, but I think like there's still kind of meat there for anybody who's looking.
00:50:04
Speaker
Yeah. So after that scene, she goes to her room and that's when she actually didn't notice the first time I watched it, but I noticed the second time that the clock is ticking like super loudly when she goes back to her room. And then and then she starts seeing spiders. And this is like the beginning of a lot of hallucinations. This was like a big thing that resonated with me also is just like the
00:50:35
Speaker
gynecological torture. I mean, gynecology was invented from torturing enslaved people, and it is not humane a lot of the time, in my opinion. I agree. Oh, you know what we need to talk about though? We need to talk about the tank. We need to talk about the tank. We're getting to the tank. The tank hasn't happened yet in my... Okay. But yeah, that...
00:51:03
Speaker
I almost gave you a content warning about that because I was like, oh, this is rough. But you were like, you're already telling me too much. Hot tip for anyone ever trying to recommend a movie to me, literally just give me the movie title and the year it came out. And only the year if I need it for if there's 10 movies named that or whatever. Don't tell me anything.
00:51:28
Speaker
So I think we meet the tall woman in person for the first time before the tank. It's before the tank when she goes out and is smoking a cigarette with that woman, right? Or is that after the tank? I'm pretty sure it's before. No, she... I don't remember.
00:51:46
Speaker
I don't remember. The tank stands out in my mind as this massive looming scene that envelops everything on either side of it a little bit. Yeah. I'm pretty sure it was before because she leaves pretty soon after that. She goes outside and is talking about her day. Oh yeah, here. I wrote it there.
00:52:14
Speaker
They're smoking cigarettes. I kind of thought that was like a symbol of like something you can't do once you're pregnant or like when you're trying to be pregnant that they were like...
00:52:21
Speaker
This is our one glimpse of freedom and like doing something for ourselves, even though it's like a bad thing for us. I didn't even, you know what? I didn't even think about that, but I actually like, I like that view on that a lot, that like, that's, that's like a very non-pregnant lady to be doing. Yeah. And then the other woman like goes in, the other woman is like, Oh, is this like your last day or whatever? And she's like, I'm getting the device tomorrow. And, uh, and Ella is like,
00:52:52
Speaker
Okay, and she like seems to be like, why am I here? But it's just like forcing herself through it, which I think is like also just like, what women and femmes are programmed to do so much of the time. It's like, I guess this is the thing I'm supposed to do for society. So okay. And then after the other woman walks away, she like looks up and sees the tall woman in the window. And that like,
00:53:21
Speaker
That genuinely terrified me. That was like a jump scare for me. I think it was kind of set up that way, but it was like, I'm still, I'm going to have nightmares about this woman tonight.
Traumatic Tank Scene Discussion
00:53:38
Speaker
I'm gonna have nightmares about the tank scene. Yeah. Okay, so now we can go to the tank scene. This is the worst. Okay, I don't actually think I'm exaggerating. I think that that was the hardest thing to watch that I have ever seen in my entire life. I can see that. I wrote down this scene is fucking dramatic, but that's the point. Yeah, it was bad. It was so bad.
00:54:04
Speaker
I couldn't believe I mean, I was watching. And I was like, I mean, I was like, actively squirming. I honestly thought I was gonna vomit. At one point, I was like, having heart palpitations. I was so fucked up. Like, I was, I was so like, shaken by it. And so just like distraught is like the only word that I can even think of. Yeah.
00:54:26
Speaker
I can imagine how that would be. It was pretty cringy for me too. And like I said, I watch labor videos all the time. Like it wasn't just like the labor of it. It was like, there's like a baby like hanging from... That wasn't even that bad. That was the part that bothered me. The baby like hanging
00:54:45
Speaker
from the cord, like dangling through the legs. Yeah. And then the woman had her head like tilted to the side in a way that was reminiscent of the bent neck lady from Haunting of Hill House.
00:54:58
Speaker
Oh yeah, it did kind of have that vibe. It did. But yeah, it's actually funny because I think I texted you at this part where when she's first talking to the doctor and the doctor's like, do you think you might have tocophobia? And she's like, what's that? And she's like pathological for your pregnancy. And I was like, that's me. I know you texted me. That's me. Have you looked into that more? I'm interested in the history of that.
00:55:24
Speaker
term there. I looked it up just to make sure that it was a real word because I never heard it before. And it seems to be. And there's two types. There's one that's spontaneous, how you would describe, I guess, mine. And then there's if you've had a miscarriage or a traumatic pregnancy or if you have it following something that would activate that and you kind of reasonably so. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I have the fully irrational kind. Yeah, I have the fully irrational kind. I've never had
00:55:53
Speaker
Any sort of like actual negative experiences relating to pregnancy I guess like being in the womb probably was something and being born I'm sure I don't remember all that but when they did say it I was like I feel like that's me and then when I was watching the
00:56:13
Speaker
when I was watching the movie and they play back for her the scene from The Tank and she's like able to sit through it and the doctor's like, see, that's already progress. I like couldn't sit through it that time either. I was like, well, it's not working for me.
00:56:27
Speaker
You have to go in the tank. When I watched the movie a second and a third time, I watched it in the reflection in the sliding glass door of my house. I couldn't even watch the actual TV. I was messed up. That's interesting. I think this is part of the biological clock thing again too.
00:56:49
Speaker
her voice over the video or whatever that's playing in the tank is like, we're going to be repairing the clock today. And it sounds like very meditative. And then she's like talking and she's like, I'll walk you through it. It's so, yeah, so weird. And then she's like, I gotta get out of here. I gotta get out of here. And she opens the
00:57:14
Speaker
tank door or somebody else does, and it's the tall woman. That was also terrifying. She goes to run, and she slips, and she hits her head on a chair. I was like, God damn it. Before I move on- Nothing could have scared me at that point.
00:57:29
Speaker
That's funny. It didn't scare me at all. It didn't scare me at all because I was already like, I was so far over the edge of being just freaked the fuck out that like nothing, it wouldn't have mattered. Well, you probably experienced it more like the character did then because I that part was like, I was like, this is fucked up. But it wasn't scary to me. It was just like,
00:57:51
Speaker
Okay. Like this is the point where like, I mean, there were multiple points. I always feel this way whenever there's like any like culty elements in movies where I'm like, okay, so this is the point where you leave and then you should also have left there and oh, you should definitely be leaving right now. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. So something before we move on from there, I wanted to say that another edition that I had kind of wished was clearer, um, that, or just like included, I'm not really sure, but
00:58:21
Speaker
the woman who she talked to and she's smoking the cigarette I kind of wanted that to be the same woman who killed herself in the first scene or I wanted like that character to like loop back in some way so we like saw
00:58:34
Speaker
This is like maybe I don't know like maybe a hot take. I don't know. I feel like that was very unnecessary and I did not need the movie to start that way. Like I just like I don't actually feel like that helped with the tone of the movie for me at all. Usually I like that kind of stuff. I mean, like not suicide, but just like I like when they kind of drop you in an intense situation and then kind of give you the whiplash out of it and you're like in the happy scene now and nothing has really happened.
00:58:59
Speaker
I normally liked that but I felt like it didn't work for me that well and that's like I think was my least favorite part about this. Yeah I think I kind of understood why they were trying to set the mood with it but yeah I wanted it to loop back in some way so it made sense because it was it felt like pretty disjointed from everything else. Yeah but I think it is supposed to be like
00:59:26
Speaker
This is how much this shit fucks you up. And that was like, I think since nobody else, like she seems like she's close to being suicidal and like is definitely struggling with mental health stuff towards the end. But I think the suicide scene is a lot of what makes it
00:59:46
Speaker
feel reminiscent of being on birth control or people doing IVF and just the way that hormones, we subject ourselves to unnatural levels of hormones to control our bodies in different ways and sometimes they can really fuck with your head.
01:00:07
Speaker
Oh yeah, for sure. And women have just generally been expected to be on birth control since it's existed. And it can be really bad. Yeah, like we are the ones who are expected to like bear the brunt of any side effects or any like difficulty around like contraception is kind of like the worst parts of it are on us.
01:00:28
Speaker
And oh my God. Okay. So then after she hits her head and she's like, it was the tall woman. And then Jan doctor person is like, okay. Um, let me play back the video. And she's like, see, it was the nurse who you already know. And she was like, no, no, no. And she was like, I want to go home. And the doctor is like, yeah, you can go tomorrow. And then she's like, well, the, the EMTs are here. This is a voluntary program. And like, I don't think they actually were there.
01:00:59
Speaker
Well, and she says, if you go with them, I think they were probably there, but she says, if you go with them, you can't come back. Yeah. That part, I was like, why are you... I wrote in all caps after when she said, you can't come back. I wrote, okay, that's fine. I just want to leave. Why didn't she? That should have just been fine. It shows how determined she is. Yeah.
01:01:28
Speaker
And then she's supposed to take Valium for the procedure the next day. She's still seeing spiders and they're gonna implant this thing in her. This is another thing with gynecological trauma where I feel like none of this was explained well enough to her. And that's been my experience with a lot of medical stuff, but especially gynecological stuff where they're like, all right, we're gonna do the shitty thing, do you? But we can't tell you about it too much beforehand, because then you won't want to do it.
01:01:54
Speaker
Yeah, and I think that's especially I think that this especially made me think about which is funny because it's like the exact opposite. But like an IUD, I have never gotten one. So like I can't speak on that firsthand. But I obviously like know a lot of people who have as it sounds. It sounds very rough from like the way that people talk about it. And
01:02:13
Speaker
And if you, the way that it gets described because I've had it described to me by doctors, when I just say that I'm like, I'm good with like what I'm already doing. They describe it as like oh it's a little pinch it's like not so bad like whatever but if you like have ever seen
01:02:29
Speaker
like a video and like I shouldn't be watching. I should not be watching this shit. But it came up on like Instagram one day for me and I couldn't click away fast enough and now it's burned in my head forever and I'm probably scarred for life. But if you've ever seen like a video of like how they actually put that thing in you, they're piercing. I know. I mean, they are piercing your internal organs.
01:02:52
Speaker
fully. And it's just wild that it's described as a pinch. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, it's just this little thing, but it's not. I don't think I even got told it was a pinch. I think they were like, you're going to feel some pressure. And I had already taken my stronger pain meds in advance, but I was told to just take ibuprofen or something. But I was like, no, that's some bullshit. And this is like, OK, so big trigger warning for needles and
01:03:21
Speaker
gynecological pelvic stuff. I'm preparing myself because I don't get your ears. I can't fast forward. You can close your ears if you want. No, it's fine. It's fine. I have chronic pelvic pain. I've tried like a bunch of things, but like one of the worst things, I mean the IOD was really bad
Personal Gynecological Experiences
01:03:41
Speaker
and I vomited for hours after the IOD because the pain was so bad.
01:03:45
Speaker
And I was too dizzy to drive myself home. I'm glad I had planned for my friend to take care of me because I was so sick. And my mental health, I was really suicidal for the first three months. I was like, if it doesn't get better at the three month mark, I'm going to get it out. But it did get better. But I don't know. But still, that's a long time to be messed up about it.
01:04:11
Speaker
Definitely. That's a long adjustment period. And that's happened to me every time I've tried birth control pretty much. I end up having really big mental health swings. But the needle part now, for pelvic pain, they were giving me injections of steroids into my labia and vestibule area. And again, this wasn't really explained to me.
01:04:41
Speaker
horribly painful. I'm sure. They didn't tell me to take anything. They were like, Oh, we're gonna use lidocaine. We'll be fine. Okay. And I stood up. And it was like, like, it looked like a murder scene. It was there was blood everywhere. And I was like, yeah, right. And like, I'm just thinking, like, I just want to say this for like, if anybody is listening who like doesn't have a vagina or like does not menstruate,
01:05:09
Speaker
like, we know what like, we're pretty usually okay about there being blood down there. So like, if you're free, if you're saying this, that was it was really fucking crazy looking, you know, like
01:05:20
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah. And yeah, I mean, I've gone through so many procedures for pelvic pain where and it's just so that I one of the things I have is called pudendal neuralgia. And I looked this up once and it literally means the shame nerve. Oh my god, what? The shame nerve? Yeah. The is it like, what is it attached to?
01:05:42
Speaker
Like, what is it? Like the whole thing? Yeah, it's so it's like a butthole and you're yeah, it's like it has several branches. Yeah, people with penises have the same nerve, but it's yeah, shame nerve. Oh my god. Yeah, troubles with my shame.
01:06:06
Speaker
Oh my god. I feel like just because you're saying all of these things, I should say that like my relationship to gynecology is that like I faint on the table in this I don't have any of like this stuff that you have to deal with like I just like when I go for like a regular
01:06:23
Speaker
whatever, like pap smear, internal exam, whatever. I literally faint in the stirrups every time and I'm like, they won't let me leave for like a lot. They make me eat candy and drink water and they don't let me leave, which doesn't help because I obviously don't want to be there.
01:06:41
Speaker
And it's just like every single time I go it gets it seems to get like worse. So I like getting worse. But it makes sense because it is like it's like a repeat trauma that you write and pap smears like I've gone through a lot of these procedures and stuff but pap smears are still terrible like that's not a good time.
01:06:59
Speaker
For my endometriosis, I have to get internal ultrasounds a lot. It's a cool technology, I guess, but I feel like they should, I don't know, it's just not enjoyable in any way. Yeah. It just doesn't seem like they're doing enough to come up with more comfortable ways of doing these things.
01:07:25
Speaker
I mean, I think it's like, you need to watch dead ringers. Okay, I know it's like a little bit of a, I know it's like a little bit of a side. I've never seen it. I know you need to watch dead ringers and you also need to watch the dead ringers like Amazon Prime, whatever, read, read, read imagination, but
01:07:43
Speaker
I want to know what it's about. It's actually based on a true story. The Amazon Prime one goes way off of the true story, way, way, way far off of the true story. It's based on these twin gynecologists who wanted to open this clinic.
01:08:03
Speaker
It just gets real weird. I don't know. I can't, I don't like know how much is like in the IMDB premise. Like I don't want to spoil it. I feel like it's kind of a trope in stories about gynecology and like as something I feel like I've experienced, but I've had really good gynecologists also, but I feel like it's a trope of like female gynecologists being super adherent to the patriarchy.
01:08:27
Speaker
Oh, no, these are the original story is men. The real people were men. The imagination has women, which I think is like one of the things that makes it interesting. Yeah. You definitely should. You should definitely watch them, though. Those were also pretty. The remake particularly was like a little little hard for me to watch at some parts, but yeah, no, I mean, I just yeah. A lot of a lot of interesting things around gynecology and how terrible it is. I don't know.
01:08:57
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. The history of chronology is like, that it's truly fucked. And yeah, and I don't know, like, I mean, so much of medicine, it's like, okay, cool. So are we ever going to evolve from the fucking eugenicists who made this? Yeah. So far, barely. Yeah. Um, not so much. Yeah.
01:09:25
Speaker
So she gets this thing implanted in her without really knowing what it is. And without knowing that if she takes it out, she will be infertile. Well, she's told that it's irreversible. She's like, you can't, it's, yeah. Another thing I wrote in my notes is experimental and irreversible, not for me. Yeah. I think that she says it's irreversible. She says it's like not meant to come out.
01:09:54
Speaker
But I don't feel like she's like adequately explained to like, what does that actually mean in this context? Right. And yeah, and that feels like very true to life. Yeah, for sure. And then she like, is basically, they're like, okay, well, bye. But after they put the thing in there. Yeah, they're like, we can refer you to some counselors. Like, what kind of counseling is this?
01:10:19
Speaker
And then as she's driving away, she sees the tall woman in the road and she slams on her brakes. And then this was the scariest scene to me where the tall woman is then next to her and screaming silently. That's my nightmare scene out there. Yeah. And it's funny because that was like, like there are things that are like way more horrifying than that scene in there, but that's the one that like
01:10:45
Speaker
rips my guts out for me. Yeah. I mean, I think it was like a good job. I think like it felt, this isn't a criticism because I like the formula, but like it felt very formulaic to me. So it didn't scare me that much. I was like, she's going to be at the window now. And I think I knew that she was going to be, but it's still scared of me. Yeah, that's fair.
01:11:07
Speaker
But I am wondering more now, like, if the maybe the grandmother was chasing her because she wanted to be like, stop doing all this shit. You don't have to have a baby. It's fine. Yeah, yeah. Well, and I think I don't I guess this is getting ahead a little bit, but I think that's also like kind of where her dad like ends up, which is really sad. Really sad. Yeah. And yeah, so when she gets home, she just like starts
01:11:35
Speaker
losing her shit basically she's having like more visions of spiders uh she's a graphic not a graphic designer an interior designer as we were saying earlier and she's at her paint store with her friend who owns it and is like
01:11:51
Speaker
Where did the blue go? And she realizes that she's not seeing colors or it hasn't seemed to fully click for her really. And she's supposed to be designing her friend's nursery and her friend's about to have the baby. And then the doctor calls her for a one-week check-in. I thought this was interesting too.
01:12:15
Speaker
the doctor is convinced that there aren't very many side effects, but she asks her if there are side effects and she doesn't tell her. She's like, no, I'm fine. She doesn't tell her about the color thing. And later that comes up. Subscribe to that line of thought anyway, but it is interesting that there is this emphasis on the Jewish mother. But I also think that
01:12:41
Speaker
like absence looms in a way that like presence doesn't always.
01:12:46
Speaker
right? Like her absence is like hanging over the whole movie. That makes sense, yeah. Right. Especially because the way that her husband basically gets her to see this new gynecologist is like, she's a specialist and like your mom died really young of breast cancer. So like you need to really be on it. You need to be like really keeping track of yourself and like making sure that you're healthy. And so the whole chain of events is like set off by
01:13:14
Speaker
her mom's absence, right? And like the specter of like her mom's illness. Yeah. So it's like even she's like not there, but she's also somehow still like one of the main characters.
Movie’s Personal and Cultural Impact
01:13:30
Speaker
Yeah, I, I watched a pretty short video, but I'm going to link it in the show notes. That's the director talking about Jewish themes.
01:13:43
Speaker
in the movie, it was really interesting. Yeah, I mean, I think this is like, one of the movies I've liked most or at least had the most emotional connection to that I've seen so far this year. Yeah, I've don't think it got like the best critical acclaim, but I it maybe it just wasn't for them. Yeah, I think like,
01:14:14
Speaker
I mean, I feel this way even when it's not Jewish stuff, but I'm kind of like, I don't need this movie to be for anyone else. If somebody else takes something from it, that's great. I think there's a lot of good stuff in there.
01:14:27
Speaker
I don't care. I just don't care. Like I think that like this movie is like, I think that this movie gets to like one of the things that I'm always saying about horror that like this movie is very confronting on like a very real thing. Yeah. And it's like not pulling any punches. It's like you're just in it. You're just here. You're in all the feelings. You're in all the turmoil. You're in all the pressure and like deal with it because of tear. Yep. Yeah. Especially like the way that they,
01:14:57
Speaker
I mean, the whole middle was just like building on like really intense scene after really intense scene. It just like kept going with very few breaks to breathe. It has a 78% on Rotten Tomatoes. It's not terrible. It has, it's a five out of 10 on IMDB.
01:15:18
Speaker
I'd give it an eight out of 10, maybe a seven, but it's- I'm not sure when I'm bad at that, but I will say I thought it was really good. I thought it was really well done and I felt very seen by that movie in ways that I don't often feel. Yeah, I definitely felt seen by it too.
01:15:44
Speaker
I feel like it helped me articulate some things to myself that I had felt but didn't really have clarity about. Yeah. I think that it also is like, and again, this is related to one of the things that I'm always saying about horror is just like, when are we talking about this?
01:16:05
Speaker
We're not. That's when, you know what I mean? We're just collectively as a community, right? We don't talk about this all that much, right? We talk about... I think that you see Jewish women talk about the pressure of childbirth in grander society, right? I think that most women, I think, think or talk about that to some extent, but I don't think that our community is always looking
01:16:31
Speaker
Looking at they're always looking at it and never like it's the elephant in the room, right? like that we're all pretending isn't there and like the like dwindling population and like but also the kind of growing population right like slowly but surely and which part like what is our part in that and like how much obligation do we have and like is that fair is that not fit like I think that I
01:16:53
Speaker
there's so much to talk about here that no one's taught. I think it's amazing that these filmmakers did this and created this dialogue that's been under the surface for, I mean, probably as long as Jews have existed, right? Yeah. Certainly the last hundred years especially though. They're great. Yeah.
01:17:19
Speaker
And I definitely agree that it's a movie made for us. And if it doesn't resonate, then that's fine. But I do think it has a lot of stuff for non-juice as well. So I just looked it up to see the Rotten Tomatoes. But there's reviews from Google, which I didn't know you could leave movie reviews on Google. But there's a five-star review that says,
01:17:49
Speaker
You can tell this film has a good impact as it elicits outreach in the women are baby machines crowd. It goes on, but that's just the start of it. And then there's a one star review under it that says this is a very disturbing movie. The writer of this movie has a sick mind. If anyone wants to go into depression, watch this movie. That like, okay, I'm
01:18:13
Speaker
I want to be careful, not careful, but I want to not be a dick when I say this, but that person is kind of a dick. This is a disturbing movie. I agree with that for sure.
01:18:30
Speaker
I think that to like watch a movie like this and say like this person has like a sick mind. I mean, I think that that's like a silly thing to say about most movies, but I think like especially one that's like rooted, like as deeply rooted in cultural trauma as this one of like
01:18:45
Speaker
This is processing. That's what art is, hun. Sorry. And this might not be your thing to process. That's totally fine. And not everybody, even people who maybe could relate would still not like it because it is disturbing. And it's not the type of thing that everybody wants to take in. But I also am like,
01:19:04
Speaker
that feels like such a gross thing to say about something that is like so clearly like looking at these like really deep and complex wounds like to be like that person is a sick mind like yeah you probably would too if you grew up on these fucking stories like sorry like it does mess with your mind like
01:19:22
Speaker
And that's kind of what the whole movie is about. Right. Yeah, that's something we've talked about before is like we've been hearing about this trauma since we were little kids and like the you like can't even fully process like what that did to your child's mind to think about like everyone in your family potentially die. Yeah, like I just there's no there's yeah, I mean, you don't get to like
01:19:51
Speaker
I guess it's like different now for kids who aren't like being exposed to it, like because like for I mean, it was primary sources, right? Like it was people who lived it and people who survived it and like. There aren't very many left. Yeah. And I think like you can. I think that like you can try to create like these levels of separation of like it was on another continent, it was a different time, it was this, it was that.
01:20:19
Speaker
But when there's a human being sitting in front of you saying, this was my life, you can only create so much separation there. When you're sitting in a room with someone, and I think I told you, sometimes it was me and 10 people, not an auditorium full of people. I did that too, but you're in this small, intimate space hearing these obviously
01:20:42
Speaker
awful stories. And it's like you can only create like so much separation. Like this is somebody's grandma who I like go to Hebrew school with or like, you know what I mean? It's not like this is like
01:20:52
Speaker
And I do feel really conflicted about when like the quote unquote right time to introduce kids to that kind of content is because like you need kids to know that kind of, so they don't, so they're aware as they grow up. But it's also, I don't know, I think that's something I was talking about before is like being aware of like,
01:21:17
Speaker
what content is going, I guess it's like trigger warnings, like being aware of what content is going to be like specifically harmful to certain audience members. Yeah, I also think, I mean, I have like a lot of feelings about things like content warning and trigger warnings in general, but like, I don't have to like get
Emotional Processing in Storytelling
01:21:36
Speaker
into here. But I think like,
01:21:40
Speaker
It's not only what is the right age, because I don't know that there's a developmental milestone that indicates that. I think that's so variable from child to child. But I think that it's more about how do we prioritize facts? How do we connect to the emotions of it? How do we talk about it after you hear this story? Because I just remember hearing these stories and then kind of just going home. And that was that.
01:22:09
Speaker
Which is different. Which is a big part of it because I don't think that there was any space for emotional processing and learning about those things also. Yeah. I mean, okay, this is kind of like random, but not totally random.
Emotional Impact of Schindler’s List
01:22:21
Speaker
Have you seen Schindler's List, right? No. Okay. So like I didn't see that until probably like 2021 maybe. I just like never saw. I mean, I think I like wanted to see it when I was really young and my parents were like, like maybe wait like a little bit. And then I kind of like lost track of it.
01:22:39
Speaker
And even that, which is like fiction, like not totally, like it's based on something, but it's like, you know, like you're taking it in as like a work of fiction for the most part. And like, even that I was like, I was like, felt physically ill. You know what I mean? And I, and I watched it with my grandma and like, we didn't like talk that much about it after. Like we talked a little, she was like, what did you think? Cause like she had known I hadn't seen it, but
01:23:03
Speaker
we didn't like process it or like debrief from it. And I was just kind of like sitting, I was just kind of sitting there when it was over and was like, how, like, how do I go from like this to like whatever, whatever next thing I'm going to do?
01:23:21
Speaker
That's how he felt. And I've like, I feel this compulsion, this reminds me of something else I was going to say about content warnings actually.
Debate on Content Warnings
01:23:30
Speaker
I, I feel so I, I watched this video of this man who lived in the village that my family was from, where he was like talking about watching all of the Jewish people getting ground up and shot. And, um, and like,
01:23:51
Speaker
I obviously feel terrible when I watch that, but I also feel compelled to watch it sometimes. I've watched it more than once, and it makes me feel bad, but it feels like this part of me that's like, you have to remember this.
01:24:11
Speaker
And, and content warning sometimes will make me, sometimes I can be like, okay, like, is this something I can take in right now or whatever. But a lot of times I'll be like, oh, I got to find out what that's about. When I see a content warning, it like almost,
01:24:29
Speaker
It like makes me want to watch it more sometimes. And I don't always, it isn't always like a good metric for me to decide if it's actually something that is good for my nervous system at the time. Yeah. Well, because I think that like, it's not that, I mean, I think this is like part of the problem with content warnings is like, it's just not that simple. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, where do you, like, where do you draw the line for any content warning? You know, like, I don't know.
01:24:59
Speaker
And I also like, I think, I mean, I think this is like also specific to like me being like most of my kind of media that I take in is horror. And so I think like for me, I'm like, you're here to do this. So you were on another podcast recently.
01:25:21
Speaker
Can you tell me about that?
Appearance on the Horrible People’s Podcast
01:25:23
Speaker
Yeah, I was on my friend Alex's podcast that they host with some other people and their podcast is called the Horrible People's Podcast. That's H-O-R-R-B-L-E People's Podcast. We were talking about the movie Repo the Genetic Opera, which is a very divisive movie as was shown in our
01:25:48
Speaker
in our conversation on that podcast episode. And I actually was in their podcast another time, like a year or two ago, talking about House of 1000 Corpses. So if you feel like listening to me more, you can find those, but their podcast is really good. And they have covered, I think, I don't know if they were like in the 300s or the 400s for episode, like they're, they're, yeah, they're stacked. So you should definitely look at them if you are into some horror podcasts.
01:26:17
Speaker
I'm going to check them out. I'm excited to listen to the repo episode. I wanted to listen to their skin and meringue episode. I think we still need to talk about it. Yeah. Oh my God. I know Alex loved it. I think one of the co-hosts did not. So I actually haven't listened to that one either, but I talked with Alex about that movie a lot already. Yeah. I liked the end.
01:26:44
Speaker
But there were so many swaths of that movie that I was like, they literally could have cut this out. I like I if I was editing that movie, I would have cut at least a third of it out. Yeah, I mean, I think that means you just maybe don't like that style of movie like that much, which I think is fine. It's definitely like, yeah, that's like a very particular
01:27:06
Speaker
type of thing. It was very scary. I was worried in the beginning that it was just going to keep being like what the first scene was. And I was like, does anything happen in this movie? And you were like, I'm not sure. I was like, I don't know how to answer that question. It's ambiguous. But yeah, I think
01:27:31
Speaker
But yeah, their podcast is really cool. I think we should probably ask if Alex wants to come on ours at some point. Yeah, that would be awesome. Yeah, well, I'll talk to them about it soon. They have a network of podcasts. Oh, cool. So they have that one. They also have a D&D one. I think there are other ones too, but those are the ones that I'm the most aware of. So they're recording a lot more than us.
Podcast Conclusion and Social Media
01:28:02
Speaker
All right. I know this was a more heavy one than some, but thanks for listening this time. Feel free to DM us if you have any thoughts about this movie that you want to talk about. You can find us on Instagram at whathantsupod and follow us here on Spotify to keep up as we release more episodes. In the meantime, if you do need more content, definitely go check out that episode of Horrible People's Podcast or check out any of their other episodes because they're doing a great thing over there. We will see you next time.
01:41:29
Speaker
subscribe to that line of thought anyway. But it is interesting, yeah, that there is this emphasis on the Jewish mother. But I also think that absence looms in a way that presence doesn't always.
01:41:46
Speaker
Right. Like her absence is like hanging over the whole movie. That makes sense. Right. Especially because the way that he the way that her husband basically gets her to see this new gynecologist is like she's a specialist and like your mom died really young of breast cancer. So like you need to really be on it. You need to be like really keeping track of yourself and like making sure that you're healthy. And so the whole kind of the whole chain of events is like set off by her mom's absence.
01:42:16
Speaker
Right. And like the specter of like her mom's illness. Yeah.
Resonance of Jewish Themes
01:42:24
Speaker
So it's like even, she's like not there, but she's also somehow still like one of the main characters. Yeah. I watched a pretty short video, but I'm going to link it in the show notes. That's the director talking about Jewish themes in the movie. It was really interesting.
01:42:46
Speaker
Um, yeah, I mean, I think this is like one of the movies I've liked most or at least had the most emotional connection to that I've seen so far this year. Yeah. Um, I've don't think it got like the best critical acclaim, but I, it maybe it just wasn't for them. Yeah. I think like.
01:43:14
Speaker
I mean, I feel this way even when it's not Jewish stuff, but I'm kind of like, I don't need this movie to be for anyone else. If somebody else takes something from it, that's great. I think there's a lot of good stuff in there.
01:43:27
Speaker
I don't care. I just don't care. Like I think that like this movie is like, I think that this movie gets to like one of the things that I'm always saying about horror that like this movie is very confronting on like a very real thing. Yeah. And it's like not pulling any punches. It's like you're just in it. You're just here. You're in all the feelings. You're in all the turmoil. You're in all the pressure and like deal with it because it's here. Yep. Yeah, especially like the way that they
01:43:57
Speaker
I mean, the whole middle was just like building on like really intense scene after really intense scene. It just like kept going with very few breaks to breathe. It has a 78% on rotten tomatoes. It's not terrible. It has, it's a five out of 10 on IMDB.
01:44:18
Speaker
I'd give it an eight out of 10, maybe a seven, but it's- I'm not sure when I'm bad at that, but I will say I thought it was really good. I thought it was really well done and I felt very seen by that movie in ways that I don't often feel. Yeah, I definitely felt seen by it too.
01:44:44
Speaker
I feel like it helped me articulate some things to myself that I had felt but didn't really have clarity about. Yeah. I think that it also is like, and again, this is related to one of the things that I'm always saying about horror is just like, when are we talking about this?
01:45:05
Speaker
We're not. That's when, you know what I mean? We're just collectively as a community. We don't talk about this all that much. We talk about... I think that you see Jewish women talk about the pressure of childbirth in grander society. I think that most women, I think, think or talk about that to some extent, but I don't think that our community is always looking
01:45:31
Speaker
looking at, they're always looking at it and never like, it's the elephant in the room, right? Like that we're all pretending isn't there and like, the like dwindling population and like, but also the kind of growing population, right? Like slowly but surely. And which part like, what is our part in that? And like, how much obligation do we have? And like, is that fair? Is that not fair? Like, I think that
01:45:53
Speaker
There's so much to talk about here that I think it's amazing that these filmmakers did this and created this dialogue that's been under the surface for, I mean, probably as long as Jews have existed, right? Certainly like the last hundred years, especially though. They're great. Yeah.
01:46:19
Speaker
And I definitely agree that it's a movie made for us. And if it doesn't resonate, then that's fine. But I do think it has a lot of stuff for non-juice as well. So I just looked it up to see the Rotten Tomatoes. But there's reviews from Google, which I didn't know you could leave movie reviews on Google. But there's a five-star review that says,
01:46:49
Speaker
You can tell this film has a good impact as it elicits outreach in the women are baby machines crowd. It goes on but that's just the start of it. And then there's a one star review under it that says this is a very disturbing movie the writer of this movie has a sick mind. If anyone wants to go into depression, watch this movie that like, okay, I'm
01:47:13
Speaker
I want to be careful, not careful, but I want to not be a dick when I say this, but that person is kind of a dick. This is a disturbing movie. I agree with that for sure.
01:47:30
Speaker
I think that to like watch a movie like this and say like this person has like a sick mind. I mean, I think that that's like a silly thing to say about most movies, but I think like especially one that's like rooted, like as deeply rooted in cultural trauma as this one of
01:47:45
Speaker
this is processing. That's what art is, hon. Sorry. And this might not be your thing to process. That's totally fine. And not everybody, even people who maybe could relate, would still not like it because it is disturbing. And it's not the type of thing that everybody wants to take in. But I also am like,
01:48:04
Speaker
that feels like such a gross thing to say about something that is like so clearly like looking at these like really deep and complex wounds like to be like that person is a sick man like yeah you probably would too if you grew up on these fucking stories like sorry like it does mess with your mind like
01:48:22
Speaker
And that's kind of what the whole movie is about.
Impact of Childhood Trauma Stories
01:48:25
Speaker
So yeah, that's something we've talked about before is like we've been hearing about this trauma since we were little kids and like the you like can't even fully process like what that did to your child's mind to think about like everyone in your family potentially die. Yeah, like I just there's no there's yeah, I mean, you don't get to like
01:48:51
Speaker
I guess it's like different now for kids who aren't like being exposed to it. Like, because like for I mean, it was primary sources, right? Like it was people who lived it and people who survived it and like. There aren't very many left. Yeah. And I think like. You can. I think that like you can try to create like these levels of separation of like it was on another continent, it was a different time, it was this, it was that.
01:49:19
Speaker
But when there's a human being sitting in front of you saying, this was my life, you can only create so much separation there. When you're sitting in a room with someone, and I think I told you, sometimes it was me and 10 people, not an auditorium full of people. I did that too, but you're in this small intimate space hearing these obviously
01:49:42
Speaker
awful stories. And it's like you can only create like so much separation. Like this is somebody's grandma who I like go to Hebrew school with or like, you know what I mean? It's not like this is like
01:49:52
Speaker
And I do feel really conflicted about when like the quote unquote, right time to introduce kids to that kind of content is because like, you need kids to know that kind of, so they don't, so they're aware as they grow up. But it's also, I don't know, I think that's something I was talking about before is like, being aware of like,
01:50:17
Speaker
what content is going, I guess it's like trigger warnings, like being aware of what content is going to be like specifically harmful to certain audience members.
Facilitating Healing Through Processing
01:50:28
Speaker
Yeah, I also think, I mean, I have like a lot of feelings about things like content warning and trigger warnings in general, but like, I don't get into here. But I, I think, like,
01:50:40
Speaker
It's not only what is the right age, because I don't know that there's a developmental milestone that indicates that. I think that's so variable from child to child. But I think that it's more about how do we prioritize facts? How do we connect to the emotions of it? How do we talk about it after you hear this story? Because I just remember hearing these stories and then kind of just going home. And that was that.
01:51:09
Speaker
I think that's a big part of it because I don't think that there was any space for emotional processing and learning about those things also. Yeah, I mean, OK, this is kind of like random, but not totally random. Have you seen Schindler's List, right? No. OK, so like I didn't see that until probably like 2021, maybe. I just like never saw. I mean, I think I like wanted to see it when I was really young and my parents were like, like maybe wait like a little bit. And then I kind of like lost track of it.
01:51:39
Speaker
and even that which is like fiction like not totally if it gets based on something but it's like you know like you're taking it in as like a work of fiction for the most part and like even that i was like i was like felt physically ill you know what i mean like and i and i watched it with my grandma and like we didn't like talk that much about it after like we talked a little she was like what did you think because like she had known i hadn't seen it but
01:52:03
Speaker
we didn't like process it or like debrief from it. And I was just kind of like sitting, I was just kind of sitting there when it was over and was like, how, like, how do I go from like this to like whatever, whatever next thing I'm gonna do?
01:52:20
Speaker
That's how he felt and I feel this compulsion, this reminds me of something else I was going to say about content warnings actually. I watched this video of this man who lived in the village that my family was from where he was talking about watching all of the Jewish people getting ground up and shot.
01:52:51
Speaker
I obviously feel terrible when I watch that, but I also feel...
01:52:56
Speaker
compelled to watch it sometimes like I've watched it more than once and it makes me feel bad, but it is this like It feels like this part of me. That's like you have to remember this. Yeah and and content warning sometimes will make me sometimes I can be like, okay, like it is this something I can take in right now or whatever but a lot of times I'll be like
01:53:22
Speaker
Oh, I got to find out what that's about. When I see a content warning, it like almost, it like makes me want to watch it more sometimes. And I don't always, it isn't always like a good metric for me to decide if it's actually something that is good for my nervous system at the time. Yeah. Well, because I think that like, it's not that, I mean, I think this is like part of the problem with content warnings is like, it's just not that simple.
01:53:52
Speaker
You know what I mean? It's like, where do you draw the line for any content warning? I don't know. And I also think this is also specific to me being most of my kind of media that I take in is horror. And so I think for me, I'm like, you're here to do this. So you were on another podcast recently.
01:54:21
Speaker
Can you tell me about that? Yeah. I was on my friend Alex's podcast that they host with some other people and their podcast is called the Horrible People's Podcast. That's H-O-R-R-B-L-E, People's Podcast. We were talking about the movie Repo the Genetic Opera, which is a very divisive movie as was shown in our
01:54:48
Speaker
in our conversation on that podcast episode. And I actually was in their podcast another time, like a year or two ago, talking about House of 1000 Corpses. So if you feel like listening to me more, you can find those, but their podcast is really good. And they have covered, I think, I don't know if they were like in the 300s or the 400s for episode, like they're, they're, yeah, they're stacked. So you should definitely look at them if you are into some horror podcasts.
01:55:17
Speaker
I'm going to check them out. I'm excited to listen to the repo episode. I wanted to listen to their skin and meringue episode. I think we still need to talk about it. Yeah. Oh my God. I know Alex loved it. I think one of the co-hosts did not. So I actually haven't listened to that one either, but I talked with Alex about that movie a lot already. Yeah. I liked the end.
01:55:44
Speaker
But there were so many swaths of that movie that I was like, they literally could have cut this out. I like I if I was editing that movie, I would have cut at least a third of it out. Yeah, I mean, I think that means you just maybe don't like that style of movie like that much, which I think is fine. It's definitely like, yeah, that's like a very particular
01:56:06
Speaker
type of thing. It was very scary. I was worried in the beginning that it was just going to keep being like what the first scene was. And I was like, does anything happen in this movie? And you were like, I'm not sure. I was like, I don't know how to answer that question. It's ambiguous. But yeah, I think
01:56:31
Speaker
But yeah, their podcast is really cool. I think we should probably ask if Alex wants to come on ours at some point. Yeah, that would be awesome. Yeah, well, I'll talk to them about it soon. They have a network of podcasts. Oh, cool. So they have that one. They also have a D&D one. I think there are other ones too, but those are the ones that I'm the most aware of. So they're recording a lot more than us.
01:57:02
Speaker
All right. I know this was a more heavy one than some, but thanks for listening this time and feel free to DM us if you have any thoughts about this movie that you want to talk about. You can find us on Instagram at whathauntsyoupod and follow us here on Spotify to keep up as we release more episodes. In the meantime, if you do need more content, definitely go check out that episode of Horrible People's Podcast or check out any of their other episodes because they're doing a great thing over there. And we will see you next time.