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Confidence: Power in Practice
12 Plays1 month ago
Confidence isn’t volume—it’s steady trust people feel when you’re clear, prepared, and calm. You can train it. Focus on what you can control—your response—not the outcome. The simple playbook - Preparation: Do the reps. Write your goal, three facts, and one ask. Practice twice. - Precision: Say less, mean more. Give a clear answer and stop. - Presence: Breathe, hold eye contact, don’t rush to fill silence. Watch out for: trying to control everything, ego, knee-jerk reactions, and “fake it till you make it.” Habits that build it: short daily journal, blunt feedback from one person, quick post-mortems, and celebrating useful failures. This week’s challenge: pick one important moment, prepare on paper, tighten your message, and show up with quiet poise.
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Transcript
Introduction to Voice of Growth
00:00:04
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The voice of growth, mastering the mind and market.
Practicing vs. Perfecting Skills
00:00:11
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Practice it before you perfect it.
The Deception of 'Fake it till You Make it'
00:00:15
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It is unethical or deceptive.
Quiet Poise vs. Loudness
00:00:19
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It's a quiet poise that has the most power.
Reflections on Youthful Reactions
00:00:24
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A younger version of me was very reactionary.
Defining Pure Confidence
00:00:28
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In its purest form, confidence is trust. That really was the gateway and key for to open up so many doors.
Celebrating Failure as Learning
00:00:41
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Failure needs to be celebrated.
00:00:45
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Welcome back to the Voice of Growth podcast, Mastering the Minded
Confidence in Life and Business
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Market. My name is Manny Tehran, and I'm your host. On today's podcast, we're exploring the quiet power of confidence and why confidence is such an important tool and skill for you to develop not only in your business life, but in your personal life.
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and what it can do for yourself, for your family, and for your community, and for your company. You see, uncertainty is inevitable. Markets shift.
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People change. Things change. Technology evolves.
Confidence vs. Charm and Bravado
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but confidence can be your tool to ride through the storm. Confidence isn't necessarily charm. It isn't necessarily the lot the loudest voice in the room.
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It isn't bravado. It isn't the absence of fear, but it's something that you know, not necessarily that you do.
Personal Struggles with Confidence
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Confidence is the key to leadership, to sales, and to live a good life.
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As a kid, I struggled with confidence. In junior high and early high school, I lacked a lot of confidence. I actually asked my mom to buy me a set of cassette tapes, this is gonna date me, that was a course on building self-confidence.
00:02:11
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It was really expensive. I remember it was like $200. So back in the 80s, mid 80s, that was a lot of money. And she took the leap with me. listened to these tapes and I but began to put effort into the skill of self-confidence.
00:02:29
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And that really was the gateway and the key for me to open up so many doors. So let's talk about it a little bit more. Confidence is clarity in motion.
00:02:41
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When you think of vision, process, and purpose aligning, that's confidence. Confidence is that calm conviction when your actions are aligned with your vision.
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In its purest form, confidence is trust.
Confidence from Vision and Purpose
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As we'll learn, it's trust in yourself where it begins, but ultimately it's an outward trust.
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When you see somebody who is confident, you trust them. You look at them as a source of execution, of a source of calm, of a source of knowing how.
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And that gives you calm. And as a leader yourself, and as leaders that you admire, you notice things like that. So I wanna bring out the prism.
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The prism, of course, is lens that looks and and actually produces different lights and so forth. So in this prism, let's first look at ourselves. Think about a time in your life when you lacked confidence.
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Maybe you were asked to speak in front of a room and you didn't really know the material very well. Maybe you did and you stood up there and you did your thing and you already know in yourself that you didn't do it with confidence.
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If we look at a different angle, how about a time when you were confident? How about a time where you took control? How about a time when you led your company or your team through lots of uncertainty and chaos?
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Also, let's think about looking at somebody else. When you look at somebody else and you know that they're confident, what are the elements that you see in them that illustrate that for you?
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Or what about the time when you're looking at somebody and you see a lack of confidence? And you think to yourself, man, if they only had a little bit more confidence, they could have gotten the sale or they could have delivered a better speech or whatever it might've been.
00:04:39
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So confidence is one of these things that permeates our entire life. And it's something that needs to be developed. If you have confidence, it needs to be continuously developed.
00:04:51
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It's like going to the gym. You can get strong, but if you don't continue to go to the gym and put attention to it, you're going to fall back into weakness and frailty.
Stoic Control and Confidence
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And so the stoic lens as it pertains to confidence is really not about, it's more about the control of a response, not the control of the outcome.
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We've talked about in many podcasts before about how stoicism is about the response to something rather than a way to control that.
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Control is a myth. There are very, very, very few things you can control. And the number one thing you can control is here between your ears.
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Control is something that I struggled with my whole life as well. And as you're watching this, if you're a leader yourself, if you're a human being, you must realize that you have a battle with control.
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I battle with control on a daily basis. I want to control things, whether it's driving to work and somebody cuts you off, whether it's a conversation with one of my sons, whether it's something that happens in business. You want to control these things and you get frustrated when you can't.
00:06:11
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But confidence is the underlying piece or element that gives you that calm under chaos. It's an element of true leadership.
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And stoicism teaches us that peace isn't found in what you can't control, but mastering the response.
Business Confidence: Clarity and Trust
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And certainly it's something that is a lot more easily said than done.
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So where does confidence come from? Confidence in business, for instance, needs to come from confidence in yourself. It's that personal clarity that it needs to start from.
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I mentioned trust earlier. When you trust yourself to make good decisions, when you trust your team, when you trust the process, those are all elements that add to the confidence side.
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When you struggle, when you question, and going to come back to that in a second, when you second guess, those are elements that take away from confidence.
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Now, there's nothing wrong with questioning. As a matter of fact, it is a very important part of business, of politics, of our daily life. It's okay to question.
00:07:28
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And you can have these things inside of you that you question all the time. Nothing wrong with that. But it's more about coming back to your vision.
00:07:39
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What is your vision? I'm not talking about some lofty business vision that you just write down and put on the the board. I'm talking about what is your internal vision? What is it you want for yourself in life?
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That, the clearer you can get on that, the clearer that it can come out in your actions, in your words, and that is confidence. When you take that personal vision and you map it onto your business vision and your entire team understands what the vision is, that tool, that those dots connected is confidence.
00:08:17
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Leaders succeed not by removing uncertainty from whatever you're dealing with, but from designing ah mindset and a system that's adaptable to it.
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There's lots of examples in business that you can just YouTube at any point in time. You can talk about Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, even Elon Musk.
00:08:43
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Look at them sitting on that stage giving interviews. They trust themselves enormously and it comes out in the form of confidence.
00:08:54
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We've broken down confidence into the following structure. Preparation, precision, and presence. Preparation means you know your stuff.
00:09:05
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That builds certainty. These are habits and systems and ultimately identities that turn your fear into focus, that really gel and give you something to work towards.
00:09:19
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Preparation is such an underrated tool to use. Preparation is the night before you give a speech, you or maybe even a week before that, you're preparing
Presence Over Loudness in Confidence
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daily. So you understand, you you stand up there, and you give it cold. You deliver it cold, and you stand confidently, so your body itself exudes that confidence.
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But then your words and your actions show it at every second of your presentation. Preparation is so important. The next thing is precision.
00:09:58
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Precision is a word that's oftentimes misconstrued. There's this precision and accuracy debate. So if I'm an archer, precision means that I'm shooting my arrows within a very narrow band.
00:10:15
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Accuracy means I'm getting closer to the bullseye. I can have one near the bullseye. i can have one here, one there. But when you add precision and accuracy together, that means that your grouping is right by the bullseye.
00:10:29
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What I'm talking about here in precision has to have an element of accuracy as well. This is where we sharpen the saw. This is where we're going through and practicing and communicating with whatever we're means that we're using, whether it's a presentation or this podcast or whatever.
00:10:47
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It's delivering on mark or as close as a mark as possible every single time. Now, does that mean you're not going to miss every once in a while or hit one way out of the the norm?
00:10:58
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Of course, but it's coming back again. It's a mindset. It's not a deliberate action per se. It's a mindset. So preparation, precision, and then presence.
00:11:12
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Presence means you show up, you speak up, you stand out.
00:11:18
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Now, confidence doesn't mean loud. I have seen CEOs deliver the most impeccable presentation.
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full of confidence, full of calm, full of such inspiration at a voice that is just about this loud.
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You don't have to be loud. You don't have to be gregarious.
Confidence in Polarized Society
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You don't even have to be a person that is an extrovert. You can be an introvert and have full confidence.
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deliver your speech, deliver your presentation, talk to your team, talk to your vendors, whatever it might be, that confidence is there.
00:12:05
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As a matter of fact, I believe, and there's data to support this, that when you speak less, your voice is louder. I do this all the time.
00:12:18
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I sit in a situation, especially if there's other CEOs around the table or there's another conversation happening. I was recently part of a panel. And I listen and I formulate, i do the preparation and the precision in my head.
00:12:36
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So when I do speak, the presence is there and I'm able to deliver a very impactful phrase or thought or concept.
00:12:47
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by remaining quiet most of the time. When you're just trying to get the word, that last word out there all the time, all the time, it actually takes away from your perception of other, your other's perception of you, I should say, of your confidence.
00:13:03
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Those who speak very strongly, confidently, with very few words, those are the ones that get heard. Now, this is kind of against or contra what we believe confidence to be.
00:13:18
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We believe it has to do with being loud and being the one that's center stage all the time and being the one that is getting people on their side and whatever it might be. you know i did a recent podcast on polarization and how as a nation, as a community, as a world, we're becoming more and more polarized.
00:13:41
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Someone that is confident, can have ah conversation, some might even say in an argument with somebody, but because they are confident in their own self, in their beliefs, in their values, in their vision, then they are unfazed by the other side.
00:14:03
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The other side could attack them. The other side can try to knock them down, whether it's their argument or even personally. but someone who's confident and that is sure in themselves will speak their mind and give the other person grace to speak their mind.
00:14:22
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That other piece, that other giving them grace is very difficult in light of a passionate argument or conversation that might be happening.
00:14:35
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If you are strong and have convictions and have confidence in your ideals, your vision, Stand, stand out, stand in place.
00:14:47
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You can deliver your message. You can deliver your thoughts without raising your voice, without getting all wound up or your blood pressure rising.
00:14:58
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And I'll tell you this, it's something that's very difficult to do.
Confidence vs. Ego
00:15:02
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Something that I practice on a daily basis. I don't get into very many arguments anymore. And I say anymore because a younger version of me was very reactionary.
00:15:14
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I would take a lot of things personally. I would lash out and my words were once coated with poison. I had this like snake tongue.
00:15:26
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And every once in a while it comes through. i'm not saying I'm perfect, but those moments are so far and few between that I sometimes, I'm proud of myself, but I sometimes can't recognize myself.
00:15:39
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And it really comes out the most with people that are closest to you, unfortunately. If you're having having an argument with a stranger, it's easier for you to walk away. But if you're having an argument with somebody you love, it becomes harder to have that calm, that poise that um that I mentioned before that has so much power.
00:16:01
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And you develop it by Understanding that confidence is trust. And trusting yourself comes from a combination of creating a vision for yourself, whatever that might be, whether it is a foundational vision of what you believe your life should be like, or it could be ah vision of some small element or political stance.
00:16:28
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having that kind having that vision, and then building the conviction by preparing, by understanding the facts. What are the facts surrounding that conviction?
00:16:39
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Once you do that, you need to go out there and put it into practice. That means you've got you need to either have conversations with people or watch intently other people speak, but you're going have to get out there and and actually put that into practice.
00:16:56
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I mentioned this as one of my sayings that life as in business is a full contact sport. You're going to go out there. You're going do your best on the field.
00:17:08
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You're going to get knocked down. You're going to get broken. You're going to break others, but it's all about standing up and getting back to it in a manner that gives you grace and honors your journey, but also the other's journey.
Humility and Preparedness
00:17:25
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I love when I see two opponents enter a ring, whether it's MMA or whatever it might be. I love seeing it when they stand there before the fight.
00:17:38
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They might be looking at each other with that, you know, the scowling. They shake hands. It's usually very brief and sometimes not even heartfelt shake.
00:17:50
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They go, they have their fight. One usually beats up the other one pretty badly. They come back and they're hugging and it's a different story. They've broken that facade. The thing about confidence is that as a culture, as a society, we oftentimes believe that it's tied to ego.
00:18:13
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And the fact of the matter is that it isn't. It's tied to trust. It's tied to self-love. It's tied to the love of the game, the game of life, the game of business. That's that's where it comes from.
00:18:29
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But really, we struggle because usually ego takes control. We think that confidence is standing stoically or arguing or being the loudest voice in the room. Nonsense.
00:18:42
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It's that quiet pose, poise. It's the quiet poise that has the most power.
00:18:50
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There's this mantra or this idea ah fake it before you make it. This phrase attempts to capture an aspirational confidence with it, but there's a danger because it feeds that ego that I just mentioned.
00:19:07
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And from a stoic standpoint, it is unethical or deceptive, especially to oneself. When you fake it before you make it, what you're doing is you're putting on this facade and it might feel good. it might get you through that moment. It might get get you through that presentation or that networking event.
00:19:27
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But what it does is it slowly erodes the possibility or the foundation from which true confidence come can actually be built upon.
00:19:39
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There's a shift that I want you to think about rather than the idea of fake it before you make it. Try this out. Practice it before you perfect it.
00:19:52
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In that practice and standing up in that networking event or that presentation or the the occasion that might give you the the want to fake it before you make it, what you do is you go in there with humility, being humble, standing proud, preparing, knowing your stuff,
00:20:12
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but recognizing that, hey, I'm on the way up. I'm practicing, I'm here, and I am achieving a goal. And this networking event or this presentation or this sales situation, whatever it might be, is part of that process.
Overcoming Setbacks to Regain Confidence
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I have seen very powerful people full of confidence that were CEOs and were champions of industry, people I know personally,
00:20:42
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that for one reason or another were knocked down from that perch. And the road back up is not always easy for everyone.
00:20:56
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It's one of these things that I had a moment in my career where I was knocked off of that perch and I went straight down to the bottom. I had this company that I grew from Nothing.
00:21:11
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I had a great team. i had a lot of luck and i grew it very quickly. Brought amazing people to the table, bought a big building, had all these amazing things happening.
00:21:23
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Not necessarily all because of me, but I was the leader that sparked that whole endeavor. And ultimately that whole thing came crashing down.
00:21:37
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I've talked about this in the past because it's It's such an important thing for me. It's where I got my PhD in business. As Terra for me was a monumental and transformative time in my life.
00:21:52
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Having been knocked off of that perch by my own doing, by the way, this is what's crazy. We can talk about regulations. We can talk about market shifts. We can talk about whatever.
00:22:04
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Ultimately, it was me that made the decision to do X or to do Y that resulted in the demise of this vision, this dream realized called as tarot.
00:22:18
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That moment when I shifted from blaming others, blaming the market, blaming customers, blaming employees, blaming whatever, to sitting in my own filth and blaming myself.
00:22:31
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It sounds like a self-deprecating situation, but it's immensely powerful. And I must say that with that power comes responsibility.
00:22:43
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So to close out, I'll say this. I'll say that preparation builds certainty and it shows up as confidence.
00:22:55
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Habits, systems, routines create an identity, and that identity can have the the outward and inward show of confidence.
00:23:09
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Certainty compounds through small, deliberate actions and learning from your mistakes. Mistakes are going to happen. Failure needs to be celebrated.
00:23:20
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and looking at a postmortem of a situation of when you failed and learning from it is gold. We oftentimes don't do that. We make a mistake, we fail.
00:23:34
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We kind of learn, we think about it a little bit, then we move on. You can just sit in the filth. Sit there with your decision of why this might have broken down.
00:23:46
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Learn from it. Don't drown it. Don't drown it with alcohol or some other either physical substance or delusions or all these other things that that take you away from that pain.
00:24:01
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Sit in it. Sit in the pain and learn from it. Then the next time you apply that learning to a situation, you're gonna rise and rise and rise.
00:24:14
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Each consistent step builds credibility, both externally to your audience, but more importantly, internally to your psyche, to your mindset.
00:24:26
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These are all things that are building on top of each other. Seneca said, the wise man is neither elated by prosperity nor cast down by adversity.
00:24:40
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Those are elements that need to be reflected upon on a daily basis. So i'm going to close today's podcast with a couple of reflections.
00:24:51
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Where in your life or business are you reacting instead of responding? Where in life and business are you lacking or abundant in confidence?
00:25:07
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And lastly, who around you in your support system can be party and support you in that effort?
Reflection and Feedback in Confidence Building
00:25:15
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Confidence is a personal, 100% personal thing, no doubt.
00:25:20
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But because of the way we're wired as human beings, we don't always see lack of confidence or the other side of that is overconfident. We oftentimes should use people around us, ask them to be our vision and we'll take that bitter pill. When when you ask your your, could be your romantic partner, your business partner, could be one of your teammates, a good buddy, whatever.
00:25:49
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When you ask them, hey, in this situation, was I kind of cocky? Was I kind of overconfident? Or in this situation, was i sort of not fully there? Was I kind of i'm not really confident?
00:26:02
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And whatever they say, take the bitter pill and weave that into your growth pattern for next time. This is why journals are so vastly important.
00:26:14
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And you know, journals doesn't have to be this this tome with this beautiful stationery with a Montclair pen and this and that, or a quill. This could be a journal.
00:26:26
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Firing, what I actually use a lot is my notes, my notes application on my phone. There's also Evernote. There's also all these voice recorder things, whatever it is.
00:26:38
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There's things in here that I recorded or I wrote down that I never visited again. And that's okay. Sometimes just getting it out there, you're able to process through these these feelings you might have or thoughts.
00:26:52
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What I've actually done is maybe every month or so, i go back and I coalesce, I bring up some of these things I i wrote down in my notes or voice recordings.
00:27:04
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And with the advent of of ai tools like otter.ai others, you can actually put your your audio into this thing. It'll transcribe it for you.
00:27:18
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So I've done that before. Take these things and I think, okay, about month end is usually when I do it. All right, this is what I learned from last month. man, I'm still doing that.
00:27:30
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I got to work on that. Or, wow, this is this is new. i was I did that in a good way. And these things are part of your journey of like going to the gym, getting stronger, getting more capable, and becoming more confident.
Confidence as a Joyful Skill
00:27:48
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Because with confidence comes calm, comes forward projection, comes growth, It also brings a lot of joy in my life to to be confident in what I do and what I say, and then to show others to be confident.
00:28:09
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There's so much power in that that i'm I'm happy to do my coaching, to be a father, to teach confidence to my children. it isn't always an easy ride, like I said earlier, but it's a ride worth taking and it's something worth sharing.
00:28:25
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Thanks for your time. Cheers.