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All in Adams--Suicide Prevention Month
18 Plays17 hours ago
Connection Takes Courage – Suicide Prevention.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Purpose
00:00:04
Speaker
Welcome to All In Adams, the official podcast of Adams County Government, where we're all in for our residents, our employees, and our community. So whether you live here, work here, or you just want to know more about what makes Adams County a great place to be, thanks for tuning in.
00:00:21
Speaker
We're all in, Adams.
Guest Introduction and Focus on Mental Health
00:00:23
Speaker
Welcome back to a new episode of the All In Adams podcast. My name is Surya Vijayasarathy. I am a continuous improvement specialist and a mental health first aid instructor at the Adams County Health Department.
00:00:34
Speaker
I'm very excited to be guest hosting the podcast today. um Our conversation today is about one of the most important and widespread public health issues facing not just our county, but our entire nation as a whole.
00:00:46
Speaker
And that is mental health and suicide. We all have mental health and discussions about mental health just like this help to reduce stigma. But please be advised that our conversation will cover the topics of suicide, adult mental health, and youth mental health.
00:01:02
Speaker
We encourage our listeners to take care of yourselves and to listen at your own pace. If you or someone you know needs immediate mental health support, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
00:01:15
Speaker
Help and Hope are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And with that, onto the podcast.
Personal Stories and Professional Insights
00:01:21
Speaker
So we're releasing this episode during Suicide Prevention Month. um And we have some amazing guests to speak to suicide prevention, to raising awareness, and sharing both resources and initiatives related to that really, really important topic.
00:01:36
Speaker
So I'm first joined by Levon Hupfer, the deputy director of the Adams County Health Department, and Chris Churches, the CEO of Community Uplift Partnership, or CUP. Welcome, both of you. Nice to have you here.
00:01:47
Speaker
So I just want to start just by getting to know both of you here. So if you could just tell us a little bit about yourselves and why this topic of suicide prevention is so important to you. And Levon, let's start with you.
00:01:58
Speaker
Great. um Thanks for having me. Levon Hupfer, Deputy Executive Director Adams County of Health Department. um I also am in clinical practice as a counselor, therapist for 20 years.
00:02:11
Speaker
um And so both in my role at the health department and clinically in my role, um it's the most important thing. we We want people to be living, thriving, connected members of our community and Um, I have, uh, family members that have struggled with suicidal thoughts and ideations and attempts.
00:02:34
Speaker
And so, um it's a very important topic to me because it's also a topic that is misunderstood. And as you mentioned, it's, um, it's sometimes just not talked about in an open manner. And so really happy that we're doing this and talking about it today.
00:02:52
Speaker
Yeah, I appreciate you raising all those things on. I think we'll talk about stigma. We'll talk about why people don't talk about this issue. um So I'm really glad that we are today in this space. Thank you. All right, Chris, how about you?
00:03:04
Speaker
um Yeah, I'm Chris Churches, the executive director for CUP Community Uplift Partnership. I'm also really grateful to be here. I also think it's a super important topic and I hate that we can't talk about it and you have to keep it all secret and private and it's all like you have this dark past or this dark story and you can't ever talk about it and you're just hopeful you get help.
00:03:24
Speaker
So um CUP is a nonprofit in our community in Adams County, and we do life skills classes and job skills classes for young adults ages 16 to 24. Our students take a class called Youth Empowerment Program.
00:03:38
Speaker
Yep. And one of the whole weeks of the class is just committed to mental health awareness and education. suicide prevention and we're trying to really as a nonprofit and as caring adults in the community we really are trying to change that stigma and trying to change that that you can talk about it we have signs up in our bathrooms and if you need help and we talk about it in our class and then we tell our stories and we try to normalize having crucial conversations around this topic it's really important
00:04:12
Speaker
um For me personally, I have just my own stories as so many people do, but ah suicide is on the rise, sadly, as you all know.
00:04:23
Speaker
And so it's really important in that we talk about it and we have real solutions and people get help. So that's from a personal perspective.
Suicide Prevention Strategies and Importance
00:04:32
Speaker
Yeah, I think both of those things are important, right? Talking about it professionally and personally. If you look at the statistics, most likely suicide has impacted most of us in this in this space, right?
00:04:43
Speaker
have my own personal experiences of it. i used to be a social worker as well. That was my career before I came into the health department. So this is an important topic for, I know, all three of us and I'm sure for many people. Yeah.
00:04:54
Speaker
That's kind of where I want to start because we're going releasing this episode during suicide prevention month, September. So let's just talk about that first. Why is it important? Why is this such an important issue to dedicate an entire month to? And why is it important specifically for our Adams County community?
00:05:12
Speaker
Well, we don't want people to live in the darkness or in the shadows. we We want people to find the connection that they're that they're needing.
00:05:24
Speaker
Suicide, people people don't just wake up but and think, gosh, how do I end my life? And, um, death by suicide is um, is a big problem in our County in 2024 last year, um was the 10th leading cause of death.
00:05:43
Speaker
We lost 105 people in Adams County to suicide. And that's 105 people too many. And so we want to be able to have conversations so that people know that they're not alone and that it's okay to talk about it. But ultimately, um it's the result of people feeling lonely and it's the result of people having pain in their lives, real pain, physical pain, emotional pain.
00:06:10
Speaker
And so we want to make sure that people have the connections and the comfort that they need because the opposite of loneliness is connection and the opposite of pain is comfort.
00:06:21
Speaker
And that's why it's, it's such an important topic and, and that's why we're talking about it. Yeah, absolutely. I'm curious, Chris, if you have any thoughts to share on that specifically. Say that again, though. The opposite of loneliness is connection. say The opposite of loneliness is connection. The opposite of pain is comfort.
00:06:38
Speaker
Oh yeah. So good.
00:06:42
Speaker
Sadly, Cub has had um just like firsthand experience with um one of our students was getting all the help that we thought. And then when he left, he moved out of state and he only lasted about a month and he took his life.
00:06:58
Speaker
And it was really eyeopening for us because ah it was terrible and sad, of course, but also super eyeopening. Like,
00:07:08
Speaker
you can't be with every person all the time in their house all the time, but there are actual tools you can give people. And so we really like tried to make a pretty deliberate shift in giving people tools and giving people resources right along with connection and along with comfort.
00:07:26
Speaker
And, um so that's partly why it's really near and dear to my heart because that was super sad, obviously for all of us to go through also in my own family. Um, just have so many people in my family who have either committed suicide or have suicidal ideations and, um, like what do they really need? But then i actually saw this like breakthrough and cup. I have this amazing story. You tell me when you want to hear the story. It's so good. Let's go for it. Okay. So, um, we, we, we actually have during this week, we have this mental health week and, um, we have this really amazing therapist who comes in and gives like this guest is a guest speaker and talks about the five steps, um, that you can take. And the number one step is you're the expert. You can probably know, but the number one step is ask.
00:08:12
Speaker
Yeah. right, ask out loud, are you going to kill yourself? And um we had this huge, we this this huge circle conversation about this. Why does that make a difference? Why does that help?
00:08:25
Speaker
But it does. It's like the most profound question and it kind of like shocks people out of whatever they're feeling. And you just flat out ask somebody, are you going to kill yourself? And and it depending on the answer, then you proceed. So the answer to this, we had a student who was having these thoughts and then The person who asked her was in our class, took our class, learned the skill.
00:08:46
Speaker
Are you going to kill yourself? No, I guess I'm not. But then step two and then find connection, tell a trusted adult, um go to them, be with them. They're like followed all the other steps.
00:08:57
Speaker
um What's the number? 988.
00:09:00
Speaker
The crisis. no crisis Yeah. cuinityity um Anyway, within a week they were like at the coffee house playing checkers and connecting and just like crisis averted. And, but the thing, the big, beautiful part of that was um just like learn that skill of asking that question, that really tough question.
00:09:20
Speaker
And then it made this huge impact because she was like, no, I guess I'm not. i'm I just feel so sad. And then they did all the following steps after that. But I'm like, whoa, it really works.
00:09:31
Speaker
And it's really powerful. So. I guess I share that story right now because that's actually what I really love to get out of this yeah podcast is like an actual tool that people can use.
00:09:42
Speaker
Cause when our student left, I feel like we didn't fully equip him correctly because it just was so heartbreaking that he didn't have like tools like that. And there's many more, but that was just one of them.
00:09:54
Speaker
Yeah. No, Chris, thank you so much for sharing that. I think it's a really important story to highlight. I think one of the misconceptions that people have about suicide, right? That if you ask the question, you're going to put the thought in their head.
00:10:05
Speaker
And that is a huge myth. No, it's not true. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So what about that question like helps to kind of prompt people to have a ah more honest conversation about, so about suicide, about mental health?
00:10:19
Speaker
Well, if somebody wants, if somebody's to the point where they, they feel like that's the only way out for them or they want to die by suicide, Part of what it does is it decreases just the the amount of adrenaline in the person and gets that topic sort of out into the open, so to speak, so that just the the ah chemicals in their brain actually change. Yeah.
00:10:49
Speaker
um making a connection with another human being and talking about something that's that serious out loud helps drive the connection.
00:11:00
Speaker
So it's exactly what Chris is saying. And so there's actually a ah ah neurological thing going on too, um which is pretty fascinating. But yeah,
00:11:10
Speaker
I remember in grad school, yeah, there was a debate on should you talk about it or not? Because they're there was still um a myth that if you talked about it,
Creating Safe Spaces for Mental Health Discussions
00:11:22
Speaker
you were going to drive someone to die by suicide.
00:11:25
Speaker
And that's not true. There's nothing true about that. In fact, I think it's the opposite. I really do. Like the isolation that comes around you not talking about it and then the stigmatism around it. I think that is like, you're the expert, you know more than I do, but it just feels that way. Like when you just hide, like when you just hide all the emotions and you never talk about it, you just feel so sad and lonely. And especially i am a mom of four kids and some of my kids have dealt with that and I'm always like what do i do what do what do I say but honestly the more I say and the more I get involved the better they feel less alone they feel more protected had one of my daughters had to be on a psych hold and her dad visited her every single day every single day and all they did was just talk about her feelings talk about her emotions and
00:12:10
Speaker
and And then she was like, okay, I feel so much better. Thank you. And i mean, like, it's so hard for family members. We're all just so torn up about it. But then you just like take that big, bold step of just asking those tough questions and digging in and And then, I don't know, it's less scary and it's less overwhelming.
00:12:29
Speaker
What is less scary in technical terms, Levon? Yeah. I don't know, but all of us at our core, we all want to be seen and heard and just understood. And that's exactly what you're talking about is like, we, we all want to be understood where we are and what, and we get into this, this problem sometimes where we think like we're not the expert and so we can't help or we're not a professional, but The reality is, is, is being able to empathize and connect with somebody is oftentimes just as powerful.
00:13:05
Speaker
And I think that that's, that's really an important point that Chris is making. I think oftentimes, you know, I'm i'm so glad you all raised these these points about how that question can really open up and give permission to someone to have a conversation and say what they've been thinking or or feeling, but haven't been able to actually fully articulate.
00:13:24
Speaker
um And I'm also thinking about the people who ask the question, right? I feel like a lot of times people, they might know a friend or a colleague or a partner or a child, right?
00:13:35
Speaker
Who is experiencing a mental health challenge or maybe thinking about suicide. and they just don't even know how to start the conversation. They don't even know what to say. What advice would you give to someone in that, in that situation? What's the first step that they could take to start to even initiate a conversation like that? If they, if they're feeling uncomfortable, if they feel like that's a bold step.
00:13:54
Speaker
Hmm. My answer is that this education is super important to that person. When I got the same education, I was like, oh, that makes it a lot easier. Knowing that that people have studied or collected data or metrics and they can say, no, this really works.
00:14:11
Speaker
We promise you're not going to make it worse because there's fear around that. So like saying that that this is the this is the correct way to handle the situation. And not that there's always like the perfect way to handle a situation, but...
00:14:24
Speaker
educating people on this makes it a lot easier, I can tell you that. like Now we just teach classes of young people how to do it this way, and we have evidence that this is a much better way to just boldly get in someone's business and ask what's going on, but then follow it up with care and commitment. um The story I told about that student asking his friend, are you going to kill yourself? And then she said no, then it was followed up with, okay, I'm gonna tell our teacher, i'm also gonna put us in a group text.
00:14:52
Speaker
Also, let's get together on Friday. so there was was care and compassion at the other end of the question, which if you you have time and capacity for that, that's really beautiful.
00:15:05
Speaker
Yeah, connection takes courage. And it is very much a courageous thing to ask that question to someone else. But it may be one of the most important questions you ever ask somebody. And so, yeah, it does take courage.
00:15:19
Speaker
And I think that that's an important point. Absolutely. Levine, you've talked a lot about connection today. I think it's been a word that you've been bringing up over and over again and talking about suicide prevention.
00:15:31
Speaker
um And I'd like to just kind of dig into that a little bit more. We are in a space where, in a world where we are very connected in many ways, right? With social media and things like that.
00:15:42
Speaker
But at the same time, we're also in a loneliness epidemic. And so I'm curious if you could speak more to connection and how to foster that but within our own spaces and our own communities.
00:15:53
Speaker
Yeah, it feels like cognitive dissonance to to be in a world where we can be connected um with anyone around the world at any time virtually, but we have an epidemic of loneliness.
00:16:08
Speaker
And so What we really um know is that people crave authentic connection and, you know, people define that differently, but we we know that people need to have close friendships and close close connections with a few people.
00:16:28
Speaker
And, um, connection is something if you spend 10 minutes with me, I'll talk about connection all day long because I'm also an addiction counselor and the opposite of addiction is not sobriety and abstinence. It's connection.
00:16:44
Speaker
And we know that suicide ah also often has co co-occurring needs like substance use disorders and addiction or mental health needs that haven't been treated or haven't been helped.
00:16:58
Speaker
And i think that you know the the most important thing is that we want people to have their needs met. We we all strive to have our own needs met in life. And when we can't get our needs met in ways that are that are appropriate or healthy, then then we are striving for something else.
00:17:17
Speaker
And that's really what we're talking about is how do people get their needs met? And um so connection is something that... I think it's approachable in the sense that you don't have to be a professional. You don't have to you know be an executive director somewhere.
00:17:35
Speaker
You can be um in any walk of life, in any age, and still create connecting spaces, connecting schools, connecting workplaces, connecting neighborhoods, connecting by by being that kind of person that you want to see in the world, by by connecting with those people around you. And so I think in that sense, it's a very approachable concept that um if I feel connected in my neighborhood or where I work or where I live, then I am just a little bit more um safer, so to speak, and and protected um from the things in this world that that are tough to deal with.
00:18:16
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. That's good. Chris, you were you were nodding a lot during that segment. It sounds like it resonated with you. Yeah, it really does. For a cup, we always say through connection and education. Those are like our two pillars we stand on. But connection is key. You can't can't get anywhere by yourself. It's really hard. It's hard to be an island. It's hard to be alone.
00:18:35
Speaker
But it doesn't mean you can't have like times of solitude. That's different than isolation. you know like I think as a mom, sometimes I'm always like, get off those dang videos, you know, or like, get out.
00:18:48
Speaker
It's not, it's sometimes like solitude is okay. just like some moments of like being alone. That's not the same as loneliness or isolation where you really have no one, you don't feel safe. You have no one you can talk to. And,
00:19:01
Speaker
So, yeah, if if all of us were giving all of our effort to help other people be connected and to find a safe person to talk to, to find a a mentor, a trusted adult, a trusted friend, a neighbor, somebody, ah we'd be ah we'd be a lot better off. And that's all ages. And there's no one can do it alone. We need each other.
00:19:20
Speaker
Absolutely.
Youth Perspectives on Mental Health
00:19:21
Speaker
Yeah. Thank you both. um I want to make sure we transition over to the second part of our conversation in a minute here, but I want to just end by talking about other resources um that people can access. If they know people in their lives or they themselves maybe are experiencing mental challenges or thinking about suicide, where can they go?
00:19:40
Speaker
um Where are some resources that they can access? I know Adams County is doing a lot of initiatives around suicide prevention. I know COP is doing a lot as well. um Talk to us a little bit about some of those resources.
00:19:51
Speaker
Well, really the the best um sort of thing that I can say is that you you need help. And so reaching out to your own insurance company, um clinical providers, counselors in the area, um trusted trusted people in your own life, because sometimes it's hard to make that step towards counseling, but you'll talk to a neighbor or a friend or um a family member.
00:20:23
Speaker
um Certainly we have resources in place when things become urgent or emergencies, but we're really trying to help people much, much earlier.
00:20:35
Speaker
And so um for kids, there's um free counseling through the iMatter program, um as well as just resources within schools and school districts.
00:20:46
Speaker
Um, And then there's a lot of resources that we can point people to at the health department. um And, you know, we'd be happy to make the connections for people. they're There's too many to sort of talk about. We're doing a lot about this. But um I think the most important thing is that people understand that there's both sort of an urgent way to get help through 988. Yeah.
00:21:11
Speaker
And also there's resources when people are struggling much earlier, um just in terms of their own mental health and their own overall health. Yeah. um Yeah. I was going to say that too. How can we get people help earlier? Right. That's like, yeah, absolutely. Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I was just going to say, literally walk into any, any trusted place. If you really feel immediately at risk or dangerous, like any hospital, any, any place and say, I feel like I want to kill myself and they will take care of you right away.
00:21:42
Speaker
or call 988, but then upstream prevention is way more ideal, like getting help ahead of time, talking to someone, therapy, counseling, it's really important. Fantastic.
00:21:54
Speaker
Well, thank you both. Chris, we're going to keep you on the couch here. Levon, thank you.
00:22:03
Speaker
All right. So second part of our conversation, ah we're joined by Chris again. Hi. It's like no time has passed. that's right and We're also joined by Caitlin. Caitlin, you work at cup.
00:22:16
Speaker
Yes. Right. So I used to, but yes. Yes. So let's, let's talk a little bit about that. If you could introduce yourself and talk a little bit about why you're here today. Uh, yeah, my name's Caitlin. I used to work at the cup coffee shop with Chris.
00:22:30
Speaker
Um, ah She had texted me and asked if, you know, I had any thing that I wanted to input into the conversation. And i do. I've dealt with ah suicide a lot with myself, with people that I know. and I feel like, like you guys said earlier too, like it's a big thing now. It's been coming like such a normal thing to do.
00:22:53
Speaker
And I feel like it's very important to talk about it and help people, especially with, I mean, with everybody, but with the youth now too, like everyone, it's it's just like a normal thing to feel as everyone's so tapped into their emotions now. And but's ah it's just such a normal thing to feel and do now that it's crazy how how much it's been happening lately. Absolutely.
00:23:16
Speaker
Absolutely. Yeah, I admire your willingness just come to a podcast after someone texted you. Hey, do you want to come to a podcast? She's amazing. yeah I don't know if I would have done that at your age, honestly.
00:23:27
Speaker
ah But now that you're here, great. Love to pick your brain about this a little bit more. um So you mentioned young people talking about mental health. Um, and I'm always curious about how young people talk about mental health. We talk about, we talked about stigma earlier, right? What do you notice about young people ah in your life, right? In terms of how they talk about mental health or maybe what they don't talk about mental health.
00:23:50
Speaker
I feel like it, it's a normal thing now to kind of joke about, which I don't think is super funny, but it's something that we joke about. And it's also like when people are really struggling, most of the time you can't even tell unless they say something about it. Like,
00:24:04
Speaker
you would have no idea. So I feel like it's a normal thing to joke about now and people talk about it a lot, but nobody actually does when they're actually struggling with it. Like, it's like one of those like, oh, when you're joking about it and then like, there's like another person in the room that's actually struggling with it and then they're like, oh, well, it's a joke. I don't want to talk about So I feel like people who do actually struggle with these things are always scared to talk to people, especially i feel like now, um you know, like the older generations, they definitely care a lot more than they used to about it.
00:24:37
Speaker
But I think that sometimes the youth is still stuck on like that. They don't really care that, you know, like you like. So we don't love talking or the youth doesn't love talking to like older generations about it.
00:24:48
Speaker
But I feel like it is becoming more normal to maybe talk to like your friends about it because you know that you're they're not gonna be able to do anything about it. you know like right They're not gonna be able to stop you if something actually were to happen.
00:25:00
Speaker
Yeah. Caitlin, older generations like us, you don't think, I'm just kidding. You don't think, you think it's hard that people don't care? Older people don't care? about I think that they do more now. I feel like, like even talking about like my parents, when they were in high school, it wasn't a super normal thing to talk about. It was kind of like looked down on.
00:25:20
Speaker
And so to us, when we started first growing up and kind of talking about these things, it seemed like, you know, older generations were kind of like, uh, like just get over it. But now they do definitely care more, but it's hard for us to grasp that feeling of the older generations caring now when they didn't seem like they did before.
00:25:41
Speaker
That makes sense. Yeah. Well, let's, let's kind of dive into that a little bit more because I'm sure there are a lot of adults who notice this, right. For young people in their life, whether it's a, ah their child, a student, maybe even an employee, right.
00:25:55
Speaker
Um, maybe they don't know how to start that conversation or they want to show that they care, but they just don't quite know how to, you know, open the door to that conversation. Any advice for how they could start that?
00:26:07
Speaker
I think like you guys have been talking about connection. I think building a connection with somebody to where they can actually trust you before talking about it. Because most of the time, if like we feel like we can trust you,
00:26:22
Speaker
will say something to you about it without you having to say something to us. You know what i mean? Like it is differently. Like if you notice someone, like if Chris, like when I was just working with her, when I first started working, obviously we didn't have that super strong connection. And if she would have like, you know, asked have been like, no, I'm fine.
00:26:36
Speaker
But now if she had asked me, I'd be like, yeah, something's wrong. But I feel like it has to start with connection, like, and then building it more afterwards too. Like you can't build a connection with somebody and then they like open up to you and then you're like, oh, okay. We don't have to talk anymore now, you know? Like, yeah, like you guys were talking about, connection is a big thing. I feel that if you just talk to somebody about something, then eventually they'll want to open up to you about more serious things that are going on.
00:27:06
Speaker
I'm curious how that lands with you, Chris. Yeah. I'm wondering, Atal, so I'm curious, does it seem like connection in your mind, Caitlin, is like, um they're always checking in with me. We go out for coffee. we Or you just feel it in your soul, like that person loves me. Like what but is the catalyst for, or what's the line for connection where you're like, okay, now we're cool? Yeah.
00:27:30
Speaker
yeah I feel like it's it's a lot of like trust. Like if I were to like just say something that wasn't that serious, but I asked you not to tell somebody and then you actually didn't i would you know like build build more trust with you then yeah like just talking more like we don't even really have to go out and hang out or do something but just if we're you know like we can have just a normal conversation every time like i see you um i feel like connections get built i feel like connections can get built super easily if both people want the connection
00:28:01
Speaker
Oh, I like that. That's nice. Like if only one person's trying, it's going to take forever to build a connection. But if both of them are trying, it really won't take that long. Yeah. It's a two way street, right? That was a, that was a wonderful answer. Like that was awesome. Yeah. i you It was really um great because you made it sound like it's not as hard.
00:28:19
Speaker
I'm sure every single adult listening is like, Oh, you made it sound like it's really possible. you made it sound like it's really possible I feel like everyone in the world, whether they believe it or not, has someone who cares about them and wants to make a connection. Sometimes when you're in the little mental state, um you don't see it that way or you don't want the connection because you don't want to have to hurt somebody in the process.
00:28:46
Speaker
um But yeah yeah, everybody has someone who cares about them, wants to make a connection. And as long as people more can see that from people, I think that it would be a lot better than what it is right now.
00:28:59
Speaker
but I appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. um We talked about kind youth to adult, trust building, connection building. What about youth to youth, like peer to peer?
00:29:10
Speaker
You mentioned that sometimes people, like young people, mean, I would even argue people in every every generation jokes about mental health. It's one of the first things that we talk about in mental health first aid is people might say like, you know, oh, you know, ah wish I just...
00:29:25
Speaker
Wasn't here today. You know, like they, they, they say these things and it might be a joke, but it also might be an indication that someone's really struggling with something. So how can youth maintain those connections and build those connections with each other and have conversations in more intentional ways? I think with youth to youth, I think that it is a little bit harder to, uh, talk about it with your friends.
00:29:51
Speaker
I feel like sometimes it is easier if you're like so close to somebody, but at the same time, like when you are so close to somebody, you don't want to tell them that you don't want them to know that you feel that way. Like it's a really hard thing to just talk about in general. I feel like, um,
00:30:06
Speaker
I feel like, honestly, sometimes it is easier for youth to talk to adults. Because we, you know, like, I don't know, they just feel, like, safer, like, to us, or to me at least. But talking my friends, it's kind of just, like, weird.
00:30:22
Speaker
Like, it just it just feels a little bit awkward sometimes. But... um Like if you have someone that you have like this really strong connection with and like mine's like my boyfriend, it's not even really one of my friends, but I talk to him about it all the time.
00:30:35
Speaker
Like we always just have check-ins to make sure that each other's like feeling okay. But I feel like when you have a really strong like thing with somebody, regardless of it's a friend, a partner, like whatever, that you can kind of just talk about it. It's kind of like a little therapy just without having to, you know, pay for it.
Maintaining Connections and Building Resilience
00:30:53
Speaker
Free therapy. Yes.
00:30:55
Speaker
Yes, for sure. That's awesome. Curious if ah if you have anything to add to that, Chris. Yeah, I was thinking, Caitlin, about our conversation earlier. and if you don't mind, ask if I could ask this, but when you had your own struggles with suicidal thoughts or ideations your journey that you've been on, what would have, what, what helped you or what would have happened if someone said to you, like we were saying, how important that first question is of, are you going to kill yourself?
00:31:20
Speaker
Like, did that help? Did that, what helped you? Um, it was hard cause I was kind of just ah like alone at the time where it happened. I like had my parents, but like I said, my parents didn't really like get it. Um, but I had been struggling with like really, really bad anxiety for years and I didn't know what it was.
00:31:40
Speaker
And i was staying at home all the time. i couldn't really do anything. so I was like, you know, like this would be the best option for me. um You know, thank goodness that my mom like took me to the psych ward and, you know, I got my stuff figured out. But um I do feel like if you notice that somebody's acting a little bit different, whether it's being happier or being sadder, I do think that a question like that would help.
00:32:06
Speaker
I feel like just ah acknowledging that somebody is acting a little bit differently can make their whole day because it means that you're paying enough attention to them day to day to know that they are acting differently.
00:32:18
Speaker
So I think, yeah, just paying attention to people or just noticing little things about them. And then, yeah, asking hard questions that usually people don't want to answer. But even if they don't want to answer it, they'll talk to you about something.
00:32:31
Speaker
Like they'll have some sort of conversation. Yeah. See, that's the hard truth. That's what I think is really good for you to, ah for us to explain and to talk about on this podcast. Cause that's what I've seen. I've seen it help. I've seen it help students. I've seen it help my own kids and my friends.
00:32:46
Speaker
I want to believe that that is the answer. So
00:32:51
Speaker
I'm grateful that you said that you think that that would help you.
00:32:56
Speaker
So, you know, I think also sometimes, you know, you'll ask the question, you know, people will pay attention and they really, really care. And the person's like, I'm fine. And they're not ready to have that conversation yet. So what can someone do in that situation or what maybe from your own experience, what has helped in that situation when maybe you're not ready to talk about your mental health? I think that if someone were to ask, like, you know, like, do you want to kill yourself? And I just said, no, I'm fine. Like, nothing's wrong.
00:33:24
Speaker
Like I said, I think that it would start a conversation in general. Like, even if it's not about exactly what you wanted it to be about. Like, if so if I say like, I'm fine and they could be like, oh, well, you know, like, how's your day been? How's your week? Like, what do you have going on? Then it, you know, then it makes me like, would make you feel like somebody is like caring about you. Even if something isn't actually wrong, you are actually fine. Like it does make you feel like, okay, this person does care about me enough to like keep the conversation going even after I didn't want to talk about it.
00:33:54
Speaker
You know, like obviously don't pressure them be like, well, obviously something's fine or obviously something's wrong. But, you know, just have like a normal conversation. If somebody says that they're fine, either they are or they're not, but you can't do anything about that at that moment.
00:34:08
Speaker
So just keep having a conversation with them. Just make them feel like you want to know about them. You want them to open up to you. Yeah. Connection takes time, right? To build, even if it's not right away. Yeah.
00:34:20
Speaker
Yeah. I, I love to have conversations about resilience along with conversations about mental health. Um, and talking, we know we talk all the time about self-care and how we can build intentional practices to help ourselves, um, build those daily habits, you know, things like that.
00:34:38
Speaker
So what has worked for you, Caitlin, in terms of building resilience or, or building self-care for yourself? I feel like it's odd because you could find literally anything if it helps you. I mean, as long as it's not hurting you, like please don't become an alcoholic or something like that just because, but if it could be the weirdest thing and it and if it's helping you, then it's helping you. It doesn't really matter. You know, I feel like mine was always like,
00:35:04
Speaker
If I felt crappy, just do something that I like that I don't really want to do, like get up and just shower or just get up and pick a piece of trash up off your floor.
00:35:15
Speaker
Like just get up and do something, even if you are in your bed and you walk to the couch to watch TV. At least you're getting out of bed. um I feel like building a habit of every time that you don't feel like you should do something, just do it.
00:35:29
Speaker
Like my thing is that sometimes, sometimes I don't want to go to church. So if I don't want to go to church, I'm definitely going to church. but So if you don't want to do something, just make yourself do it because it'll make you feel so much better. I know it's a huge thing right now with like not showering and like not being able to get out of bed and brush your teeth.
00:35:47
Speaker
but I promise that it makes you feel so much better once you actually do it because then you're done and then you're clean and you're like, oh wow, I do feel a lot better. So just making yourself do something you don't want to do when you're feeling that way can help a lot.
00:36:00
Speaker
Little things can kind of make a difference, right? I knew someone who their self-care was laundry, which I mean, I love laundry, but that was their thing, right? they It was just the way of organizing things and the feel of it. Like it's a very simple household chore, but it brought them a lot of comfort and peace.
00:36:17
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, one of our classes is healthy living. And it's just what you're talking about, just like little baby steps yeah that will help get to the bigger steps. So just instead of eating, just DoorDash talked about, like getting up, making a wrap, chopping up chicken, like little things that will help you in the long run. And that includes like going for a walk or going outside. or um We talk a lot about grounding and like touching your...
00:36:44
Speaker
beat to the grass or I don't know anything like that will that will like knock you out of what state you're in it's a lot of mindfulness and a lot of just being present in the moment yeah yeah I agree it's helpful huh it's good yeah even just the simple things right simple mindfulness yeah definitely a lot of kids now too they're really like in their like music and stuff yeah music's huge So I always tell people like, you know, like if you just want to lay in bed and listen to music, why don't you get up and take a shower and play music outside the shower?
00:37:14
Speaker
Cause then you're doing both things that you want to do, but you're getting yourself out of bed. Like just finding, yeah, just finding little things that make you feel better will make such a difference. So...
00:37:26
Speaker
Yeah. No, I appreciate all of those. I think those are really, really, really helpful things that people can just do in their daily lives, right? It doesn't have to be a ah big production, um you know, a huge vacation. can be simple things that you can do.
00:37:38
Speaker
Absolutely. If you can afford a vacation, then do that. Then do that, yeah.
00:37:43
Speaker
ah Always take that if you can afford it. We talk about mindfulness mindfulness a lot too, because if you if you are feeling that way, you can't get out of bed, you can't take a shower. The ripple effect then is really, it makes your life so much harder. You don't go to school, you don't go to work, then you're late, you're going to lose your job. You're going like, you you just make everything worse. And so, but then that brain space to live in the brain space of like, well, then what's going to happen? Then I won't be pay my bills. And all this by the spiraling. So we teach a lot to just like stay right in the moment. Like what can you just do right now? Cause yeah, the past is the past. You can't change it.
00:38:17
Speaker
You cannot control the future. Just stay right in the moment. Okay. Right now I can get out of bed. and Like right now I could take a shower right now. I can call my boss and say, I'm just going to be late instead of I'm no showing the whole day.
00:38:29
Speaker
but That's huge for young people. Um, I'm, I'm on my way. I had a hard morning, but I'm on my way. Just like get to where you're supposed to be, get to the thing you're supposed to be doing.
00:38:39
Speaker
a little bit at a time versus like, okay, I'll come in I'll be the most excellent. No, just right now. What can I do right now in the moment? Super helpful. Yeah. Chris, you, when you work with young people on some of these like kind of regulation or mindfulness activities or ideas, is it resonant with them? Does it take a little time for them to kind of think through what that means for them or do they kind of get it right away? No, they they get it right away.
00:39:05
Speaker
Highly resonates. Like they've never heard it, like big light bulbs that go on the same way that it went on for me when I heard these things for the first time. um It's just, it's difficult to put into practice, but it really resonates. um Having good boundaries, being mindful, um assuming the best, not letting your heart spiral from the past. These are just like some basic things we just talk about all the time. And I see it almost every single day, big light bulbs that go on like, oh, I never heard that. I never thought about that. I never, um, and we're not mental health experts. We're just caring adults who really love people.
00:39:39
Speaker
We just try to be there for them. But, um, yeah, it highly resonates immediately. Yeah. in fact, I wish I could just like tell everybody all the things all at once. Cause it's so important. I kind of talk about this a lot, which I learned through cup, but, um,
00:39:55
Speaker
You kind of have like a daily check-in with the people you're working with, that you're hanging out with. I mean, it doesn't obviously have to be a verbal like, hey, how's everybody doing today? It's kind of like, just like, you know, like talk to people, see how they're feeling. And if somebody can't give 100%, give 120%.
00:40:09
Speaker
then you give a hundred and twenty Because sometimes people just aren't going to feel that great during the day.
Encouragement and Support Systems
00:40:16
Speaker
they're They're going to be upset about something that happened at home or they're just sick or something. But if you can put in that a little bit extra effort to help them out for the day, then just do it.
00:40:26
Speaker
Like if, yeah, just if you're doing anything and you realize that somebody isn't going to be able to do what they usually do, just help them out a little bit because it's not going to be that hard and it's going to help them too.
00:40:38
Speaker
Absolutely. That sounds like fostering connections. I want to end with just one more question. Um, and I like to end some of these conversations talking about hope and a better future. Right.
00:40:51
Speaker
And so I'm thinking about listeners who maybe here are listening, who maybe don't have people to talk to, who might be struggling, um or I might know someone who's struggling, right? What's one message of hope that they can take away from the conversation today. And it could be from this conversation, from the conversation we have with leave on,
00:41:07
Speaker
Um, what's one thing that they could take away from this conversation? I think just like, hold on just a little bit longer. Like if you can make it one more day, then you made it one more day. And why, why would you stop then?
00:41:20
Speaker
Like if you can make it two more weeks, then why would you give up at the extra two weeks? And something, even if it's not happening right now, something good that you love, regardless if anybody else loves it, you might love it, is going to happen eventually.
00:41:33
Speaker
As long as you try, you stay here and you just keep working for it. Like it's going to suck for a little while. me and my boyfriend always talk about this, but life's hard right now. But we will get to the point where we're happy and we're content and we don't need anything else. And we won't even think about what happened to us a couple years ago or why we felt sad a couple years ago.
00:41:54
Speaker
So just stay as long as you can stay a little bit longer and something that you love will happen. I love that. Thank you for sharing that Caitlin. Yes. Good. Yeah. Well, you have to follow that up now. I know. Well, my, my hopeful is also what Caitlin said.
00:42:08
Speaker
Everyone has somebody that loves them. I really believe that so much. So, um, I know sometimes it doesn't look like that when you're in a really dark place or you're, you feel alone, but honestly, like Somebody loves you. Like, open your eyes to who is in your circle and who's around you, who's texting you, who's checking in who you're talking to.
00:42:26
Speaker
um Remember who is in your in your circle and go talk to them. Like, there's hope. Yeah, I loved what you said. Yeah. Chris must be very proud of Caitlin. You have no idea. You have no idea. When I first started working there, it was...
00:42:43
Speaker
Not the greatest. We're so proud of Caitlin. Yeah, I'm so proud of Caitlin. I have a deep, deep love and respect for her and her journey. And i really believe God has big, beautiful things for her and her future.
00:42:57
Speaker
Yes.
Conclusion and Invitation to Connect
00:42:59
Speaker
Well, I just appreciate both of you being here. Thank you for having us. Thank you so much. Really good conversation. Thank you. Absolutely. Thank you both. And thank you for joining us for the All in out of Adams podcast. That's a wrap for this episode of All in Adams. Thank you for joining us as we explore the people, programs, and the policies that make Adams County a great place to live, work, and thrive.
00:43:21
Speaker
If you enjoyed the show, be sure to subscribe and share with your friends, neighbors, and colleagues. Have a topic you'd like us to cover? Let us know. We're all in for bringing you the stories that matter most.
00:43:32
Speaker
Until next time, take care of each other and stay connected with us on Facebook, Instagram, Nextdoor, and X. We're all in, Adams, and we're all in for you.