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Practical Steps for Getting a Mentor (& What To Expect)
91 Plays2 years ago
Welcome to a new Sermon Slice. In this episode, hosts Ridley Barron and Dan Sanchez dive into the compelling topic of mentorship. They discuss the art of initiating a potential mentor-mentee relationship, emphasizing the importance of identifying specific issues and needs. Ridley and Dan stress the significance of finding the right mentor for spiritual growth and the value of utilizing one's skills for the Kingdom. They also touch on the importance of emotional maturity in a mentor and the need for encouragement and tough love in the mentorship dynamic.
Resources mentioned:
- Michael Hyatt Free Lifescore Assessment: https://assessments.fullfocus.co/lifescore/
- LifeWay Spirit Gifts Assessment: https://s7d9.scene7.com/is/content/LifeWayChristianResources/Spiritual%5FGifts%5FAssessmentpdf.pdf
Timestamps:
00:00 Mentoring early on
05:47 Great mentors help with growth and maturity.
07:00 Build trust, foster transparent communication for mentorship.
10:05 Experienced mentors inspire humble mentees to submit.
14:37 Seeking guidance, initiative, and identifying problems.
19:37 Seeking guidance and growth in personal development.
25:10 Focus on strengths, not weaknesses in life.
28:47 Choose mentor with emotional maturity and humility.
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Transcript
Introduction and Recap
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome back to the Grove Hill Podcast.
The Importance of Mentorship in Pastor Ridley's Sermon
00:00:04
Speaker
We took a little hiatus there for Thanksgiving break, but now I'm excited to be back on where, of course, we're breaking down some elements of Pastor Ridley who's here with me about your past sermon, which you preached out of the book of Philippians on kind of the topic of mentorship. Of course, you always cover more than one topic because you're covering everything covered in the text.
00:00:24
Speaker
But I felt like the main call to action was, hey, you should get a mentor. Here's why. In the sermon, you preached about what to look for in a mentor, which was really good. I'm like, okay. I didn't feel like there was anything left on the table as far as what to look for.
Challenges in Mentor-Mentee Relationships
00:00:41
Speaker
So I'm excited to talk to you about like, well, yeah, but weirdly tell me, how do I get a mentor? Because I'm sure like most of the congregation was like, yeah, yeah, I've always wanted one of those. Right. Like most of us want help. Right. You know? Right.
00:00:58
Speaker
You know, and I think probably one of the things that people fear is getting into one of those awkward relationships where it never really becomes very natural. And so it's like, okay, I'm into this now. How do I get out of it? Because this isn't working like I want it to.
00:01:12
Speaker
You know, it's funny, I've run into a few of those. I remember being young like 19, 20, 21 and like, I'm like, man, I need a mentor. Man, what does it look like to get a mentor? I never quite knew how to ask, so I never really got
Alternative Mentorship: Learning from Books
00:01:24
Speaker
one. And then I just like, I'm like, well, then if it's up to me, then I'm just going to read books and I'm going to find someone I like and I'm going to read everything they've ever written. I'm going to follow their Twitter. I'm going to read their blogs. I'm going to read every book they've ever written. So I did that a few times with a few people that I admired.
00:01:38
Speaker
and i kind of considered that like an like a passive mentor relationship yes i got on the other side though when i was working at a college where i was now the older person like at 30 years old and i was teaching 19 and 20 year olds and uh some of them actually i got the courage up to be like hey damn will you be my mentor and i was like yeah sure i've always wanted those i'll be that for you and then we'd meet a few times and i'm like
00:02:04
Speaker
What are we doing? We're not really doing anything. We're just hanging out. My story mirrors
Organic Mentor Relationships
00:02:12
Speaker
yours. I was the same way early on mentoring to me meant finding a book to read or something like that or some good article about it.
00:02:21
Speaker
My, when I was in my 19s and 20s, there were no internet sources or whatever to go to. But, um, when the time came that somebody came to me and said, Hey, can you mentor me? I was like, yeah, this is it. This is awesome. And I stepped into the situation and went, I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing except for just hanging out with you. You know?
00:02:39
Speaker
Um, and I, you know, there's not a bad, that's actually not a bad starting place. Uh, it's a very organic way to start a mentor relationship to begin to talk about life, real life, you know, and to engage each other on a very real plane, uh, of existence. Talk about what's going on with your family or what's going on with your career or those kinds of things. But there comes a point where it has to take a deeper, more intentional turn. That's kind of what we were talking about before you and I came online a minute ago.
00:03:09
Speaker
So since then I've had a few, few guys I've taken under my wing, uh, in, in, in just a professional setting. And I'm like, okay, so I kind of know what it looks like a little bit from
Mentorship Uniqueness and Growth
00:03:20
Speaker
one end. And I've had a few older, older gentlemen in my life to help me through certain seasons of my life. So I'm like, I feel like I've done some things, but I still feel like there's a lot more clarity to be had around what a mentor mentee relationship looks like. I want to know, like, I'm sure.
00:03:36
Speaker
By now, you're a youth pastor for a long time. You've been a pastor for a number of years now. Would you say you have the mentor-mentee relationship down to a science? Are you still learning some things as well?
00:03:49
Speaker
I think there's certain, um, given certain standards in that relationship that you can work on together. Um, that, that from one relationship to the next kind of are consistent, but I do feel like there's an element where they're each one is unique, um, unique because of the kind of things you're addressing, uh, in the relationship, the unique needs of the person that you're trying to mentor, um,
00:04:14
Speaker
So yeah, I do think you can take some lessons learned and move them on down the road for every time you mentor somebody.
When is Mentorship Necessary?
00:04:21
Speaker
But I do believe there is a place where you have to leave room for even your own heart to grow in the relationship and to address the specific needs of the person that you're engaged with. So one question I want to start off with is, do you think everybody needs a mentor?
00:04:40
Speaker
I highly advise it. I think the Bible has a mentor at all times. Uh, no, not necessarily. Um, in fact, I, I would even say, um, I mean, it's the holiday season. Let's compare it to this. It's like the elf on the shelf, you know, uh, there comes seasons in your life where you want to pull them off and say, Hey, I really need to engage you in this season. And that season may be a week, it may be three months, you know, it may be a long pattern of your life, your marriage, whatever.
00:05:07
Speaker
But I do think there are times where when you're kind of moving in the natural rhythms of your life and things are okay, where you don't have to have a weekly meeting or necessarily have the phone call every two weeks or whatever to engage in that pattern. So the relationship's always there and it's always understood that it's there. Um, but I don't feel like you have to feel pressure to meet on a certain amount of times or, or anything like that.
00:05:33
Speaker
Yeah. So what would be the conditions that would necessitate or like you would strongly encourage to find a mentor in? Would it be hard times, good times where you want extra growth? Maybe growth is like the key word to look for.
00:05:47
Speaker
Yeah, and I think great word there, growth, maturity. Ultimately, regardless of what the core issue is that you're being mentored regarding, it's always about growing. It's always about learning how to handle those issues or how to move beyond those issues or to move through those trials that you're experiencing. But I strongly suggest that the best mentor relationships are started in good seasons.
00:06:14
Speaker
Um, because when you're in a bad time of your life, there are different emotions and different pressures that are brought to bear and it may force you to react, um, maybe too quickly and to jump into a relationship with somebody who may not best be the fit for you.
00:06:30
Speaker
So if you can find a great relationship or relationships with others who could be a mentor for you in the good season, uh, two advantages to
Building Trust in Mentorship
00:06:40
Speaker
that. Number one, you know, you were thinking with a clear heart when you establish the relationship and number two, you're not panicking in the midst of a trial trying to find somebody you already have an established relationship with somebody who knows your heart. So what does a good mentorship relationship look like?
00:06:59
Speaker
Um, I think it starts with just this understanding that there is no permission, no place, no room for, um, facades. Um, there has to, and I know it doesn't happen immediately and it's not often naturally, uh, it has to be intentional that you take down all the walls. Um, you get out from behind the excuses and there's just this really, really genuine transparency on, on the role of both parts, mentor and mentee.
00:07:29
Speaker
where you can talk about, you can express, you can confess thoughts and feelings. You can emit shortcomings and not feel like that you're going to necessarily be judged or belittled because you didn't get it right. So there's this huge, huge element of trust that comes to bear in those relationships.
00:07:52
Speaker
Um, and that's why I think, again, going back to the first question that it's important you find them in these good times because the trust doesn't happen overnight. So you've got to have time to establish that trust, to grow that trust. So that when, um, for instance, if you were my mentor and I wanted to come to you and say, Hey.
00:08:10
Speaker
I need to talk, my wife and I are having some really serious problems and I know the issue is me and I know what's going on here. Uh, already there is this rock foundation of I can trust this guy to be there for me and not turn his back on me.
Approaching Mentors: Objectives and Readiness
00:08:23
Speaker
So I think that's an important place to start with all of that, the transparency and the trust. Yep.
00:08:29
Speaker
One book that brought a lot of clarity to me, at least gave me somewhat of a framework to like operate off of, was written by a girl named Claire Ortiz Diaz. And she went and co-wrote it with Ken Blanchard, who is the author of The One Minute Manager. And this book was called The One Minute Mentor, which I'm pretty sure he was the mentor, she was the mentee.
00:08:55
Speaker
Um, and she probably wrote the whole book and he got to put his name on it. Yeah. Yeah. And got the rights to call it the one minute mentor. Yes. Um, one thing that was interesting to me about that book was that they're like, the mentee should approach the mentor and always have like a clear, like, this is the objective I'd like to, I think I want to reach. Um, is this something you could coach me through and to always have like a, a time limit on it to some extent.
00:09:22
Speaker
Like, hey, I'd like to do this. Would you be open to doing this with me for six months? You know, kind of giving it like some clear expectations. This is what I like to like the thing that I'd like some help with. Are you what would you say about that approach? I really like that approach. And I have to make a little note of that book. I need to go read that when I have not heard of it. Yeah, this is a I think a great. Example of how these things work, the rhythm again of life.
00:09:51
Speaker
And I do think that the approach of a mentee come into a mentor. The thing is that mentors typically are recognized because of their confidence in their maturity. That's why you pick them, right? They're seasoned, they've been through the hard knocks of life, they've got the experience behind them, so they have this confidence about them. And because of that,
00:10:14
Speaker
It's really easy for a mentor to overwhelm with their confidence, the mentee. And I think that's why a mentee approaching a mentor is probably the best and preferred step because now the person's coming to the mentor on their terms.
00:10:30
Speaker
Uh, they're not feeling like they're being coerced into a relationship. They're not ready for, uh, expresses a, uh, awareness, a humility of their situation to say, Hey, uh, I recognize I have something inside of me that's shortcoming and I recognize you as somebody who looks to have that under control. So because I recognize that I'm going to come and submit myself to you.
00:10:54
Speaker
What would you say about a mentor who this doesn't happen often, but I have seen it happen sometimes.
00:11:00
Speaker
the mentor who approaches a potential mentee and says like, Hey, I like you. I should let me mentor you in this. Those always scare me a little bit because, um, again, there's two reasons. Number one, I think maybe the bigger problem is the mentee may not be ready for that yet.
Mentor Availability and Mentee Initiative
00:11:20
Speaker
Uh, emotionally, spiritually, they not be ready to recognize they even have a problem. And so the mentor may be just rushing the process by selecting them themselves.
00:11:30
Speaker
Uh, but also think that sometimes mentors, um, you get kind of a rush from helping other people. It's just great feeling this joy. So maybe when a mentor goes to a mentee and hand picks their own, it's kind of like they're trying to feed that fire rather than actually genuinely looking to help somebody. It's like, Hey, let me see if I can get another notch in my mentor belt because I have hand selected somebody and have helped them out.
00:11:59
Speaker
Yeah. That's just my thought. I'm not saying that's the case every time, obviously, but. I do find that the person who is like saying, follow me, I'm, I'm worthy of being a mentor too is probably, I dunno, like there's usually some kind of blind spot there that comes out in like a lack of humility somewhere. I'm like, I'm like, it's always hard to spot, but a few times I've seen that play out. I'm like,
00:12:24
Speaker
I do think there's a difference between a mentor selecting a mentee versus a mentor making himself available.
00:12:32
Speaker
And the little I mean it's subtle but it's a big difference in the sense that like for instance where we were just reading this past week in Philippians Paul says Imitate me as I follow Christ. So what he was saying is I'm available to be a role model available to be The teacher the trainer for you if you're ready But you've got to express a desire. You've got to have the initiative to follow so if your
00:13:01
Speaker
have gone through some things and felt like you're well rounded in some areas of life and you see someone struggling or maybe not even struggling, but just showing a desire to want to grow in a specific area. Be like, Hey, I've learned some interest. You might be able to say to them in a conversation like, Hey, I've learned some things about X. If you ever want to talk about it sometime, let's grab some coffee and then let them reciprocate. They might be like, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When can we get coffee right there or follow up with you later?
00:13:24
Speaker
Right. Probably never, but like that's a way you could open up the door and let somebody know. You know, the old adage is you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. I think the goal of a mentor is that, you know, let me let you know the water's here, but it eventually has to be your choice to taste it. So that's kind of what you can expect as a potential mentor.
Purposeful Mentor Relationships
00:13:50
Speaker
Now as a mentee, and since we're talking about like how to get a mentor,
00:13:55
Speaker
Uh, what do you think somebody should do to initiate a potential mentor? Like what is, what is, what are, like, what has people done for you is I'm sure a number of people have approached you. What's the like most polite and I don't know. I don't know how to say it, but like way that like made you respect the heck out of them for the way they approached you on asking you to mentor them.
00:14:19
Speaker
Well, you've mentioned earlier that I was a student pastor and I used to have a lot of kids who would come to me and this really kind of, uh, stoked by fire a little bit, the way they approached it. They would come to me and they would say something along these lines. You know, I feel like God is.
00:14:34
Speaker
Is telling me that this is an area I need to grow in. Okay. I feel like there's something, you know, uh, my studying of the Bible and my quiet times, my prayer life, you know, whatever it was. Um, and I have been doing a little bit of stuff myself, which that always kind of piqued my interest. Cause what it means is there's an initiative there. They've been trying on their own to do some things.
00:14:54
Speaker
They're not looking for a quick fix. You know, here's a one, two, three plan to get it resolved. Um, and then they would say, you know, I see some of those qualities in you or I've seen or heard you talk about these things. I feel like you could help me a little bit. So I think that, you know, the first goal of a mentee is let's identify what the problem is. Um, a mentor, mentee relationship is supposed to specifically address something or some issue that's going on that where something may be lacking or there's a
00:15:24
Speaker
a stunting of your growth and you need some help getting over those humps. Um, so identifying it is going to make you more successful because now there's a purpose that lies for you. There's an end goal. Uh, and I think you said this earlier, you know, a timeline on how long we're going to do this. Uh, you can't leave it open ended forever because then there's really no urgency to get it done. You know, it's almost like you need to have, I'd find the best, if, if you can, if you know exactly what you need help with,
00:15:53
Speaker
coming with that just makes it so much easier for the mentor to say yes or no, or to figure out if they can be a help to you. But oftentimes, I think we were doing this pre-recording, but oftentimes people don't even know what they have a problem with per se. I think I said this to Ridley right before I pushed record,
00:16:16
Speaker
But I've had moments in my life where I've wanted a mentor, many moments, but oftentimes I'm like, okay, well, if I'm going to have a mentor, then I should probably bring something specific to them. And then the process of clarifying my problem, often find the solution myself and then feel just weird asking somebody for help where I'm pretty sure I already know what steps to take.
00:16:37
Speaker
So the ability to identify that problem that you're wanting to address right off the bat helps because a couple of times, more than, more than a few, when kids would come to me as a student pastor, and even now as a pastor, they'll come and say, here is problem A that I'm wanting to address. And I might go, you know what? I could help you, but I know this Deacon over here who's been through that. He's much more knowledgeable than I am. Let me connect you with him because he would be a better source for you.
00:17:05
Speaker
So having the problem identified right off the bat, it's a huge, a huge hurdle to jump, you know? Yeah. I mean, that's, I mean, that's a golden nugget right there. So I got to highlight that again for anybody who missed that. Like if you're not sure, ask somebody like, Hey, I'd love to grow in this. Do you like, that's an easy way to start a conversation. Cause it's not so assumptive that you can be like, do you know anybody? It might, you might even think like it's them. I just don't want to ask them directly. It gives them an out.
00:17:32
Speaker
You know, in case maybe, maybe there's awkward awkwardness or who knows, maybe you just think there's awkwardness and there's actually not awkwardness. But if you want to like have an easy way to ask somebody that's makes it easy for them to point, point the direction or nominate themselves, they can do it. Right. So I think that's like probably the easiest way to get started. If you kind of know what it is.
00:17:54
Speaker
And this is a great example. That's not even necessarily a spiritual example, but we have a young man at our church who have been trying to talk too often on and trying to encourage. And he came to me several months ago and, and, you know, was being silly about something. And I said, Hey, what is your passion? What is it you love to do? And I think he was thinking he would throw me off by giving this answer. He said, I like computers. He said, I don't, I don't.
00:18:18
Speaker
The Bible part of it is not a big deal to me. I like computers. He said, why? I said, so what could you do for the kingdom of God with computers? And he just stunned that I asked that question. He said, I guess I've never really thought about it. He said, can you help me with that?
00:18:32
Speaker
Well, instantly I went, no, I'm not the computer guy. I said, but standing right over there as a guy who knows computers. And I said, I would love for you to talk to him because he might be able to engage you and help you think and broaden your thoughts about how do I take something I really enjoy doing and use it for God's glory. Now, I don't know how that's going to turn out. I don't know if it'll turn into a relationship that's ongoing, but if nothing else, maybe created a
00:18:58
Speaker
a nugget of a thought that causes him to think about, okay, what can I do with the passions that God has given me for his purposes?
Enhancing Growth through Mentorship
00:19:07
Speaker
There's been many times in my life where I've wanted to mentor because there is something that was a problem that I wanted to overcome and felt like I needed help.
00:19:16
Speaker
There's also been a lot of times in my life where I felt like I wanted a mentor, not because I had a problem, but because I wanted to go farther and go faster. Um, do you think a mentor is someone that's, I mean, I think the answer is probably yes. Like it's good to have a mentor to help you go farther and faster, but then how do you position that, um, to a mentor?
00:19:36
Speaker
Um, you know, I think it's, it's very much the mentality of actually having a coach, a personal coach, somebody who's willing to walk with you and say, Hey, here's some ways that you can go deeper, broader, uh, be more intentional, those kinds of things. Uh, it's, it's a similar kind of relationship, but when you approach the mentor, the idea of being, look,
00:19:56
Speaker
I like what I've seen in my life, this area so far. I think where I'm going is good, but I think it could be so much better. And what I need is somebody to help me ramp up my game a little bit, you know, to grow in these areas, to broaden my thoughts and to help me take deeper roots in the word or, you know, in the career field that I'm thinking about. Again, trying to take it beyond just spiritual applications, you know,
00:20:24
Speaker
I know you work in this field. How could you help me grow in this area to be a better, whatever widget maker? There's been a few times where even I'm thinking of Amy, um, specifically my wife, um, where she's just been drawn to a specific person, usually an older woman. She's like, I just really liked them and I want to learn things from them, but doesn't know exactly what it is. And she could probably picture like,
00:20:51
Speaker
mentioned a few character traits that they admire about the person, but they just like the general overall person. And I bet there's a bunch of cases like that in our own congregation where it's like they really like so-and-so, and so-and-so is just a great human. They crush it on so many different levels, but there's not a particular thing, and there's nothing they want to go for. What do you do in that situation when you're like, you know there's someone you want to learn from, and you know you just want to grow in something general spiritually?
00:21:20
Speaker
I'm probably sure that there's in the field of, um, mentor, mentee training or education or whatever, there's probably some specific names for this about the differences. We've talked about mentors who help you deal with specific issues, but then I do think there are mentors who are just more like life coaches. Um, maybe, maybe like your wife, you enter into a relationship with somebody just because their personality draws you in.
00:21:46
Speaker
And one day, six months later, you wake up and you look back and you go, wow, look at all the things she's taught me just by rubbing up against them in life, you know, and just interacting with them. So maybe it's, that's an unintentional mentorship. It just happens because you do life together. Uh, and that's part of the reason why I would like our life groups at Grove Hill church, we encourage people not to do.
00:22:09
Speaker
all one age group together or one stage of life together. We like to put them broad across the scales because Dan and Amy Sanchez, a young couple with four or five kids can go in with a couple maybe that's been married for 30 years and learn some very valuable lessons just by doing Bible study with somebody or serving in a ministry project together.
Tools for Self-Assessment in Mentorship
00:22:32
Speaker
There's a tool that I've seen that might be helpful. Are you familiar with Zig Ziglar's Real Life? Yeah. I think this is a very common life coach thing. I imagine if I had somebody come to me today and just wanted to grow, I'd probably be like, well,
00:22:48
Speaker
Let's sit down and score your wheel of life and see where you're at. Um, if you're unfamiliar with the wheel of life, it's Zig Ziglar was just like seals, like coach guy from like back in the eighties and nineties and people would buy his cassette tapes. He was like a motivational speaker before that was cool. Absolutely.
00:23:06
Speaker
I think Christian, Christian background, I don't know how strong his grasp was, but like, it was generally good stuff. Um, and he separated life out into like a bunch of different segments to like try to get a feel for like how well you're doing in all these areas of life, right? Like a physical health might be one and mental health.
00:23:25
Speaker
your career financial marriage family relationships community this different people put different segments in the wheel usually like to put jesus in the center right that informs all the other ones you know it's a bunch of different ways to do it but you kinda get it that you can plot your graph and see if you have any flat tires they would say in the wheel.
00:23:45
Speaker
In fact, there's a great, if you're wondering, if you want to see a good one that I've seen recently, if you go to fullfocus.co, it's Michael Hyatt's former website. He has a fun little life score assessment, which if you go through it and answer the questions, it gives you a score with a little wheel that I find is helpful.
00:24:06
Speaker
Michael, Michael Hyatt's a Christian. There's like a spirituality in there. You could tell like a Christian made this that I just find helpful. Again, there's many different ways to slice that pie and look at it, but it is kind of an interesting way to assess your life or to even expose blind spots. So you're like, oh yeah, maybe my marriage isn't as strong as I thought when it's, when it's asking me questions like that, you're like, um,
00:24:28
Speaker
Well, there's a lot of great online tools. I'm glad you brought that up. You know, there's a lot of great online tools that are actually free out there. You have to be careful because some of them border over into more of, uh, new age thinking and yeah, self-help type stuff. But, uh, I think, I think if I remember correctly, life way, the, uh, Baptist publisher actually has some on their website, but it's spiritual gifts, tests, personality tests. Um, the ones that you mentioned when Michael Hyatt,
00:24:54
Speaker
Those might be a great place for helping to for lack of a better term to help diagnose or pinpoint the issues where you need some growth or some areas where you need growth. You know you identify two or three the top spiritual gifts. Here's the mistake a lot of people make they take the spiritual gifts test and they find out that they're good in these three things but they're really bad in.
00:25:16
Speaker
say giving. And so they want to go focus on giving. That's the wrong way to approach it. The idea isn't to bring up the weaknesses. The idea is to focus on the strengths and become even stronger in those areas. God did not intend Ridley to have all the spiritual gifts. That's why the body works together.
00:25:33
Speaker
And so when I take that spiritual gifts test, if it says my gift is teaching, then what I should naturally seek out is somebody to help grow me in the area of teaching a mentor who can bring me alongside and say, help teach the class with me and let's learn how to put these lessons together and things of that nature.
00:25:49
Speaker
So if you're listening, I'm going to link these things in the show. No, I will find the life way spiritual gifts test. I have it kind of like googled up in front of me, but I will find, I will find the right link. So go to the show notes where it's like written the description for this podcast and you will find the link to Michael Heights thing, but also specifically a spiritual gifts test. If you haven't taken one of these.
00:26:08
Speaker
Take the time to fill it out. They usually take five, 10 minutes and it will give you back some assessment. Go over that assessment with somebody close to you to be like, Hey, do you find this accurate? They'll give you some good feedback for somebody who knows you too. I also will tell you that we are very close to relaunching classes here at our church where we're going to be offering those kinds of tests.
00:26:31
Speaker
Uh, they're, they're finalizing that because this is a great area where, uh, as a, as a believer, you find your strengths, your gifts, and you go and plug into your church and you carry that ball for your church. You know, if your passion is missions, then you run with that. You, you do missions because that's what God has called you and gift you did to do so.
Spiritual Growth and Mentorship
00:26:51
Speaker
Yeah. I love spiritual gift tests. I actually found that Amy and I rank high for a gift that no one ever talks about.
00:26:58
Speaker
And it took me a long time to really appreciate the gift, but there's not a single book that I can find written on it. And maybe it just goes under other titles. It's the most boring gift of all, but I find one of my favorites is the gift of administration. I have a hard time finding a book on this topic. Maybe you could think of one, but it's the unsexy gift.
00:27:19
Speaker
But you know what? I'm like, I love administrating. It's kind of like the skeleton to the body. Yeah. It's the skeleton to the body. Everybody, nobody knows it pays attention to it until something's wrong with it. You know? Yeah. I'm like, if you got a business degree and you do business, I'm like, chances are you probably have that gift and you just need to figure out how to, how to activate some of those skillsets for the kingdom. And I guarantee you find a strong church in today's culture, especially Western culture, they've got some strong administrators who are at the top leading because it just has to be there.
00:27:49
Speaker
Yep. So in order to, in order to love people well at scale, you got to have some organization, right? Yep. That's what Amy and I get fired up and passionate about. Cause I don't know. It's just good to do excellently. Consistently speaks to my heart, Dan. I'm very proud of you.
00:28:04
Speaker
There we go. So if you want to find out what yours is, it's coming soon. Again, I'll, I'll link some in the show notes, but it sounds like we got some more coming on this and would be an excellent kicking off point to then go find a mentor to help you grow in your spiritual gifts.
Maturity and Humility in Mentorship
00:28:18
Speaker
And took 30 minutes to get to that call to action, but find a mentor, go and ask someone for where, who you can get help from. It might be them. They might nominate someone else to ask.
00:28:30
Speaker
Um, but if you don't know where to start, start with your spiritual gifts and then all of us can find a mentor. I'm sure like a total of 10 people will find like get 15 requests each. Exactly. If we all ask, but we'll, we'll deal with that problem later. I think one reminder too, when you're looking for a mentor, you're not always looking, you're not only looking for somebody who is beyond you and their, uh, experience beyond you and their.
00:28:59
Speaker
Um, their knowledge and their information, but maturity is a critical part of this because the relationship between a mentor and mentee is a delicate thing. Uh, a mentee is going to have to be humble enough to listen to accountability, listen to correction, listen to discipline. Uh, a mentor is going to also have to be humble in a different direction to say, you know, like Paul said, I haven't arrived yet, but I'm still pushing on. I just want to bring you with me.
00:29:27
Speaker
And so looking for that right, uh, I think it's probably emotional maturity is the right word, um, to not look down on you, judge you, you know, make fun of you because you don't have better knowledge or whatever, but somebody who is willing to take you by the hand and help you up.
Call to Action: Finding a Mentor
00:29:46
Speaker
And what would be a sign that someone doesn't have the emotional maturity to do that?
00:29:51
Speaker
Um, I think it's, I think it'd probably show pretty quickly in early conversations about how they address you. Um, if they come in Kabul, you know, running full steam, you know, here, let's go through this, that kind of stuff.
00:30:03
Speaker
Um, or if they come in with a heart that says, I want to listen, I want to hear who you are. I want to learn about you before I start trying to figure out where we need to go next. Um, I genuinely need to know what you're like. I need to know your personality. I need to know if this is really a strength of yours, um, before we actually start trying to point you in a direction. Um,
00:30:24
Speaker
People, people who are just in it again to get another notch in their belt, they have an agenda and it pretty quickly shows. They don't really let the spirit guide the conversations. It's just something they just, they run ahead with it. Would you say, would you say it'd be safe to say that you should mostly feel encouraged after leading a meeting with a mentor? Oh yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You should leave encouraged most of the time, unless maybe you just aren't doing diligent and they're giving you some tough love, but that should be like a rare, rare case.
00:30:51
Speaker
Well, and I even think that that's a warning sign. If you don't receive that tough love, well, um, it may be that you're not ready for a mentor. If you, if you come out like a whip dog, because they just kind of lovingly hold you accountable. Uh, I think there's a point where you have to go, you know what? The reason I entered into this is because I recognized a problem. I got to be willing to admit that problem or I'll never get it fixed.
00:31:14
Speaker
Fantastic. Ridley, this has been a fantastic conversation on mentorship. I've learned a lot just having this conversation, but to close it out, I just wanted to thank everybody for taking the time to listen to this, go find a mentor, find those links in the show notes, and remember that we're here to impact the life of every person with the whole gospel by any means possible, including this podcast. So send it to someone you know who might need to learn a little bit more about what we talked about.