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Ep. 133 - How to Create an Unforgettable, Extraordinary Ceremony - Tayna, the vow whispere
99 Plays8 months ago
Happy Woo Wednesdays. Tayna, the vow whispere, is a breathe of fresh air and always makes her couples feel very nurtured, taken care of and totally supported in what can be a stressful journey.
Today Tanya reminds us to Prioritize the ceremony.
After careers as an actress and in the corporate world, Tanya created a niche path in the wedding industry 4.5 years ago. She works globally as a producer of epic wedding ceremony experiences. Although she is based in New York, her clients are global.
Hot Topic
How to Create an Unforgettable, Extraordinary Ceremony.
1. Choose the right person to marry you.
2. Spend the needed time to craft the right cermeony
3. Incorporate cultural ancestry...find unique elements to truly show who you are as a couple.
4. Write your own vows
Connect with Tanya
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Connect with Carissa
https://instagram.com/Carissawoo
Sponsors:
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https://www.17hats.com/ Use code heckyes to get 50% off the entire year
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Transcript
Introduction and Offer
00:00:00
Speaker
Happy Woo Wednesdays! Woo woo! If you are slow right now and need a brand and business makeover, go to my IG at Carissa Woo and comment the word DEMO. This is only if you are ready to step into your power, level up, and be the go-to vendor in your area. I will send you a 20-minute demo training on how to get 10 to 15 quality leads in your inbox a month.
Meet Tanya Pushkin: The Vow Whisperer
00:00:24
Speaker
So today I have Tanya Pushkin in the Get a Heck Yes House. She is the vowel whisperer. Wedding pros, send this episode to your couple. It's getting married so they can have the most epic ceremony. Tanya's story about how she got started as a ceremony coach is the best story I've ever heard. I swear you are going to love this episode. Enjoy.
00:00:51
Speaker
Welcome to Get a Heck Yes with Carissa Wu. I'm your host, Carissa, and I've been a Los Angeles wedding photographer for over a decade. I've traveled the world, built my team, and seen it all. I now coach wedding photographers hit 10K a month and build a thriving business. In this podcast, we are going to deep dive into how top wedding creatives get that heck yes from their dream clients. We are not holding back on the struggles of the business and how to push through the noise. Some healthy hustle, mindset shifts, up-leveling your money story,
00:01:19
Speaker
Time-packed because I'm a mom of two, a little bit of woo-woo, and most importantly, self-love and confidence are just a few of the many things we will talk about. I want to give you a genuine thank you for following along my journey. I hope to inspire you every Woo Wednesday so that you say heck yes to listening to this podcast. See you guys soon.
Tanya's Career Journey to Wedding Industry
00:01:42
Speaker
Hey everyone, welcome back to Get a Heck Yes with your girl Carissa Wu. I have Tanya Pushkin in the house. She is from The Vow Whisperer. She's amazing. A little bio about her is after careers as an actress. Oh, I could tell you're so beautiful. And in the corporate world, Tanya created a niche path in the wedding industry 4.5 years ago.
00:02:04
Speaker
She works globally as a producer of epic wedding ceremony experiences. Although she is based in New York, her clients are global. Welcome Tanya. Thank you, Carissa. It's really nice to be here.
00:02:18
Speaker
Yay, so our hot topic today, just letting everyone know it's how to create an unforgettable, extraordinary ceremony. So this is gonna help wedding pros and also my couples listening as well. But before that, I wanna ask you Tanya, tell me a little bit about yourself and even you could go back to growing up and what you were like as a kid, that far back, yes. Oh wow, I love that. No one's ever asked me that before, I love it. Okay, I actually was born in Brussels, Belgium.
00:02:47
Speaker
And my father was an American conductor, musical conductor, and my mother was a painter. And they met in Belgium where I was born. At one point, my father was a successful conductor in Europe, but he wanted to come back to America.
00:03:08
Speaker
So we all moved, I was a teenager and moved to this country. And then I went to Juilliard to study acting for four years and then had a pretty amazing acting career for about 10 years. I was super lucky. I think going to Juilliard and having that on my resume was huge.
00:03:33
Speaker
Wow. Wow. And so I did, you know, for 10 years, I worked pretty
Business Model and Unique Ceremonies
00:03:38
Speaker
much nonstop. And I changed careers completely. Full disclosure, I was married to a man at the time who couldn't hold a job. And
00:03:52
Speaker
I, even though I was successful as an actress, you don't ever know when your next gig is coming. You don't know. It could be tomorrow, could be in another year. And one of us had to figure out a way to make a stable, secure income. So I taught myself. I had no idea what I was doing. And because I was an actress, I basically faked my way up the corporate ladder. I did.
00:04:21
Speaker
I ran public relations and corporate philanthropy for several fashion and beauty brands. And I loved it. I had amazing experiences. I worked with Beyonce. I worked with Lady Gaga. I had such an incredible run. And then my second, when I got remarried,
00:04:44
Speaker
It's almost five years ago. Congratulations. Thank you. It was covered by the New York Times, one of those big vow stories that they do on Sundays. And the writer was at the wedding. And during the reception, she comes up to me, she said, Tanya,
00:05:03
Speaker
there's a calling here for you. And meanwhile, okay, I knew nothing about weddings. I was in the corporate world. We wrote our own vows, but we didn't know what we were doing. And my daughter officiated and I kind of wrote the ceremony with her, but had no idea what we were doing. But meanwhile, this New York Times writer says, Tanya, you need to go into the wedding industry. I have covered hundreds and hundreds of weddings for the New York Times. I've never seen a more beautiful ceremony.
00:05:33
Speaker
It was like, okay. Meanwhile, I'm in a pretty lucrative, glamorous, traveling the world job, and then I gave it all up. I gave it all up. Yeah, like about a month later, I said, I'm going to go for this.
00:05:53
Speaker
I did not have a business plan. I didn't have a strategy. I just had an idea. I wouldn't encourage people to suddenly, I mean, to this day, my husband says, so where's that business plan? I still don't have it.
00:06:14
Speaker
It's been, what's really amazing about what I do now is it's a full circle back to my acting days because with vows,
Marketing Strategies and Media Attention
00:06:26
Speaker
when I'm practicing vows on Zoom with
00:06:30
Speaker
person and I'll get into what I do in a second. But when I'm practicing with somebody, I'm teaching them acting skills. I'm teaching them how to enunciate, how to project their voice, how to have the right body language. All of that is acting. And then when I officiate weddings, it's a performance. So I'm kind of like all the way back at the beginning, which is
00:06:54
Speaker
really cool and fun. So, you know, all those years of regretting leaving the acting world, kind of, you know, somewhat doing a little bit of it. Oh, that story is amazing. I want to ask so many questions. But my first question is, tell me about this wedding. Like, why was a New York Times guy even there? And
00:07:20
Speaker
Walk me through like what I'm sure it was so special but and anything like yeah paint the picture a little bit. Well so the writer found out about my story and what had happened is that my husband proposed over 14-15 times and
00:07:38
Speaker
with with dollar like cubic zirconia rings that he would order from China and like they kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger like these huge rocks and he kept like getting down on his knee in like the middle of the park or in a restaurant or in the kitchen I mean he just kept
00:07:58
Speaker
And I mean, it became a joke because meanwhile I was designing my real ring, but he just kept doing this, you know, made in China routine and it was hysterical and the writer found out about, you know, so she, she decided to write the story and the headline is something like he proposed more than 14 times or something. I don't remember. I know it was fun. Did you post on like Facebook
Crafting Memorable Wedding Ceremonies
00:08:25
Speaker
or Instagram and it went viral or what happened?
00:08:29
Speaker
Oh, you mean the proposals? Yeah.
00:08:32
Speaker
You know, I didn't. I didn't because to me, like, I mean, Facebook, it was my purse. I don't know. I just didn't. But I've posted about it since with my with my business. Yeah. Yeah. It's cute. OK, so paint the picture of like your wedding and like maybe the setting and what was said. And I mean, I total totally believe you 100 percent. That was like the best one he's ever seen. So I kind of want to know like a little more details.
00:09:02
Speaker
What's interesting is when it's a second marriage, and I marry people for the first time, and sometimes I'll do a vow renewal for a couple that's been married, but for the most part, it's a first marriage. A second marriage is totally different. A second wedding, first of all, I didn't wear white. That was the first thing. I was like, there's no way. And it was a lot more about creating, it was not seeking this perfect
00:09:31
Speaker
first wedding like it was more about creating an amazing at the time people were not talking about the guest experience so much as they are now now it's a big trend five years ago it was not about the guest experience but we created that not on purpose it just happened to turn out that way and the ceremony itself
00:09:57
Speaker
I've tried to recreate this, and I haven't quite yet. But my daughter, who was like a stand-up comedian doing this ceremony, it became an immersive experience. The guests were part of the whole ceremony. And my husband, he went first with his vows. This is amazing. You're a photographer. When I look at my ceremony photographs,
00:10:25
Speaker
We're not looking at each other. We're like talking to our guests a lot of the time and bringing the guests into the whole moment. It was not by design. It was just the way it worked out. So the writer at the end was like, Oh my God, I've never seen anything like this before. But it's not like we set out to do anything different. It just happened to be. And we did it in a,
00:10:56
Speaker
kind of an unusual place, like kind of hipster-ish in Brooklyn, in a winery in Brooklyn. And it was very rustic and these big vats of wine everywhere. And then communal tables, like all these long rustic wooden tables with mismatched china. Nothing was perfect about it, you know?
00:11:23
Speaker
There was something about planning a second wedding that's just really different. Oh,
Advice for Wedding Professionals
00:11:29
Speaker
how did you meet your hubby? Bumble.
00:11:32
Speaker
Ooh, shout out to Bumble. And so part of the New York Times story was my husband had a spreadsheet. He's a finance guy and life is on a spreadsheet. Everything is on a spreadsheet. And his whole dating life was on a spreadsheet. And I was number 82. And yeah, you know, and he had done, you know,
00:12:01
Speaker
Everything is very linear with him. He would go out on like five dates a week and enter all the criteria and all the stuff in the spreadsheet. And when he met me, he said,
00:12:13
Speaker
He like he deleted the spreadsheet. It was over. Oh, I know. Really cute. Oh, I love that. Oh, my God. OK, so now I want to talk about this aha moment when the New York Times guy he just says like your wedding was the best way I've ever seen. Like you have to make this into a career. What was like the leap like jumping out of like your amazing corporate job and then just taking the plunge? Like what was that mindset that you must have been like?
00:12:43
Speaker
your world must have just been shook at that time. You know, I must have been really ready for a change. I'm assuming I must have been because to suddenly leave this big thing, this big life I was leading, and a really big paycheck, and a platinum Amex, which I've never had since, and an expense account, which that's not part of my life anymore.
00:13:12
Speaker
You know, I left all that behind and I think it must have been as corny as it sounds, a calling. It was like, this is something I needed to do. And every single day I am so thankful I made this decision, you know? And it's because I know that I make an impact on people's lives.
00:13:34
Speaker
So every day when I'm told, you know, you created blah, blah, blah for me, and you did this for me, you know, it's like, wow, I really made a difference. And that's the gift I get every day. That's so cool. A little backstory about me. My parents are kind of like actors, too. Really? Yeah, so they're called like twowoos.com. And my dad, like his whole career, like in his 20s was acting. And then
00:14:03
Speaker
he did corporate and then got out of it. And now they started acting in the retirement years. But for my grandpa's funeral, they're very into stage presidents or presidents of Toastmasters. And they told everyone, they're like, oh, get up if you were from England. And grandpa brought you over here. And they made it a big story. And they're interactive. And everyone was very emotional. All these families wouldn't be there if my grandpa didn't help them come over to the US.
00:14:30
Speaker
So I understand like the experience that the power that you have to give your whole audience and it changes the game, it changes the whole wedding, like people feel more connected, they feel more alive, and they feel more in love. So what you're doing is so, so incredibly powerful. And obviously, I've done like bazillion weddings. So I know the difference between like a good ceremony and a bad ceremony. So tell me before we get into completely hot topic, but
00:15:17
Speaker
What does your business look like today?
00:15:21
Speaker
create a beautiful brochure so you could start getting on Prefer venue vendor list and we do all your sales so we actually make you a sales presentation leading your client to the heck yes so you get paid. I have a free 20 minute demo training. It's only 20 minutes. Go to my Instagram at Carissa Woo.
00:15:44
Speaker
and DM me the word DEMO. I will send it right over. It's how to get 10 to 15 quality leads in your inbox per month. Enjoy, guys. Krista Wu is a LA-based wedding photographer who's actually turning business coach. She helped me grow and change, and I'm so proud to call you coach.
00:16:07
Speaker
tell us how you're feeling. Like, I want to just know a little bit more about your thoughts. Yeah, it's beautiful. And you're, you're awesome. It's beautiful. I'm speechless. I just like the fact that it feels like myself. I can I feel myself when I see this. Oh, man. Well, you got me pumped and excited for this. Carissa, thank you.
00:16:28
Speaker
So the Vow Whisper, I have a little team, which is wonderful. I have, yeah, I have different people doing different things. And it's, you know, I'm a one man band here, but I do have help, which is nice. And the business has really grown in the four years or so it's grown. And the one thing though that has changed is when I started it,
00:16:58
Speaker
I was the only person working with vowels.
Importance of Chemistry in Client Calls
00:17:01
Speaker
And now I have a decent amount of competition. And I didn't when I first started, but my method is very different. I'm not a vowel writer. And the competition, these people are vowel writers and they are basically, you hire them, they interview you and
00:17:21
Speaker
You know, a week later you get your full set of perfect vows. And that's not my method at all. I work very much using the person's own words because I don't want to write something that I'm not feeling.
00:17:38
Speaker
I want them to use the words that they feel. So we work using their words and it's very collaborative. We go back and forth and I'm basically holding their hand. I'm guiding them. I'm advising them. I'm helping them through the whole process and then practicing the vows with them on Zoom as if I'm the person they're about to marry. And so that work is
00:18:06
Speaker
You know, sometimes I do need help. Sometimes I do need a writer. Sometimes someone will get in touch with me a week before the wedding and there it's like, okay, we can't do my method. We're gonna have to bring in a writer.
00:18:20
Speaker
Interesting to do that. Yeah. Yeah. And you're definitely a coach. One more question before hot topic. So you pretty much started like five years ago when you got married, but your business exploded and now you're published in New York Times.
00:18:36
Speaker
Brides, Martha Stewart weddings, Washington Post, Maria Claire L. Betches bride, loverly, you know, you just exploded. But what is like your best heck yes technique? Like, how do you get your heck yes from your dream client, especially just when you started out?
Coaching Family Officiants
00:18:53
Speaker
So I think I really believe it's all about chemistry. I think when I have what we call a discovery call, you know, where I meet the couple for the first time and they've reached out to me, whether it's for vows or to marry them or what a huge part of my business is now is, so you know this, as a photographer, so many ceremonies are led by family members or friends.
00:19:19
Speaker
who have no idea what they're doing. And a huge part of my business is coaching these people. I also take off of their shoulders the burden of writing a ceremony. They do not have to Google, how do I write a wedding ceremony? They don't have to do that. I do that for them with the couple.
00:19:39
Speaker
So it's usually the couple who will hire me for that. And then I coach this person on all the logistics, how to get out of the frame for the kiss. For example, as you know, that's like
00:19:52
Speaker
that frame, that photograph is the money shot. And if the officiant is standing there, it doesn't look so good. So I coached them on absolutely everything they need, how to fill out a marriage license, all of that
The Ceremony's Role in Marriage Journey
00:20:08
Speaker
stuff. So the business has different services, but it all comes down to that discovery call and having chemistry with a couple. We either hit it off,
00:20:20
Speaker
or it's really difficult. And, you know, I book a lot of them and then I don't book some, it's the way it works. So. Yeah. I mean, one thing I have to say is when people get on that call with you, I'm sure a lot of weight is lifted off their shoulders knowing that their ceremony is going to go smoothly. And also it's going to be epic and unique and different and stand out because that's pretty much like the first thing that happens at a ceremony. Right.
00:20:48
Speaker
Yeah. So I feel like if that goes good, then I feel like everything else is kind of more of a breeze, right? You are so, so spot on. Because when you think about it, that's the first touch point that the guests have, they arrive for the ceremony. Those first 30 minutes or 20 minutes, whatever they are, they need to be that ceremony needs to
00:21:15
Speaker
grab their attention. They need to walk away from that ceremony going, oh my God, that was amazing. I'm ready for my cocktail. And it's also for the couple.
00:21:29
Speaker
It's the start of their marriage, that ceremony. It's so important. Wow. It's the start of their marriage. I didn't have a rehearsal dinner for my wedding and I didn't have a coach for my vows. And like we forgot, like my uncle was supposed to see a prayer and then we forgot to do like the flowers to the mothers. And, you know, it's just like, you know, hello. But, you know, there's so much other things that you have to think about. But I think
00:21:57
Speaker
I kind of wish, you know, I would have focused more on the ceremony because it's very special. Let's get into Hot Topic. What is your Hot Topic, Tanya? And why is it so near and dear to your heart? Obviously you shared, but you could say it again. Well, I think creating an epic wedding ceremony should be a priority. And very often it isn't. Very often it's forgotten or it's last minute. You know, people don't
00:22:28
Speaker
focus enough on this. And it doesn't have to be an enormous amount of work. You know, you have to hire the right person to marry you. And if it's going to be, couples very often think,
00:22:41
Speaker
I'm going to have a family member or a friend officiate because that'll personalize it more, not necessarily the case. Because I know with me, when I marry people, by the time I show up at that wedding, I'm a friend. I'm not a stranger. We've gotten to know each other.
00:23:02
Speaker
There's so much, it's an intimate, it's like with the, the analogy is very much with a photographer. You have a very intimate relationship with that couple for those six, seven, eight hours, whatever it is. And I have it before the wedding where we've created this relationship and we've worked on the vows together.
00:23:26
Speaker
Wow. I mean, I know everything. I'm a pseudo-therapist to these people. Totally. Yeah. So by the time, if I'm marrying them, by the time I'm there at the ceremony, they're like, I mean, it's hugs and kisses. And I take care of my couples really well. I'm very nurturing. Very often a planner will tell me after the ceremony, thank you for taking such great care of them.
00:23:54
Speaker
And that is something that I feel is a well thing that I can offer.
00:24:02
Speaker
But back to prioritizing the ceremony, it's important for so many reasons. And so find the right person to marry you. Yes. You know, that's important. And then dedicate the time to crafting that ceremony so you're not surprised at what someone's going to say and that it really reflects who you are as individuals and as a couple.
00:24:27
Speaker
Whether it's bringing in cultural elements, which I'm all about, I always ask people like, what is your ancestry? Where are your grandparents from? Is there something in your ancestry that we can bring in? You know, some really cool ritual or tradition that was done
00:24:45
Speaker
in their weddings, or your parents' weddings, you know, are you half Muslim and you're half this and you're half, you're in full, whatever it is, let's bring that in. Because that makes a ceremony unique.
Selecting the Right Officiant
00:24:59
Speaker
It's not just the traditional
00:25:03
Speaker
blah, blah, blah, which is boring. And it's also about choosing the right readings or poems, for example, that really reflect who you are. I just did a wedding this past weekend in Napa Valley where
00:25:19
Speaker
you know, they were of total different ancestries. And one is a Spanish speaker, so we had a poem written by Spanish poet, Readiness, in Spanish. So do things that are unusual and that make it more special.
00:25:36
Speaker
Yeah. And I think another tip is like not rushing through the ceremony because I hear that all the time. Like, Oh, we just want to do like super fast, right? Like as fast as possible. Like, no, you actually are paying big money to actually have these extra hours at the ceremony. Right. If not, you could just do a party. Um, so take the time to make it special because some of the family members have not even met like your significant other. Right. And you don't know.
00:26:04
Speaker
you or your love story. So it's like bring them in your world, bring them in your love story. It's almost like a movie. Make it experiential, like you said. Exactly. It's storytelling. Guests actually love a good ceremony.
00:26:22
Speaker
So I, you know, when, when I get that couple who says, I want this as fast as possible, I try to explain, okay, we can, we can absolutely do a 15, 16 minute ceremony. I'm not a huge fan of it, but we can, but not anything less. You're jipping your guests. They want something beautiful. They want something memorable. They want to emote with you. They want to hear your story, you know? They're dying. They're dying to laugh. They're dying to be like, yes, exactly. Exactly.
00:26:52
Speaker
Yeah, I love that funny question. But do you have any tips and tricks on how to find the right person marry the right person? How to find the right person to marry you? Well,
00:27:03
Speaker
If it's a professional, efficient, at least they will know exactly what to do, but have the right chemistry with this person. This person is a big part of your lives for the ceremony time, but also in building that ceremony, you want to be able to really relate to that person. You want them to understand your values, your philosophies, who you are.
00:27:30
Speaker
and somebody who can tell your story. So it's a lot about chemistry. If you're going to the family member or the friend, find somebody, this is really important, find somebody who is super comfortable speaking in public. Because if they're not, that is a disaster.
00:27:51
Speaker
Yeah. That's a hard one because some people are outgoing with friends, but they are shy. They never public spoke before, so they could totally clam up because it's out of body experience like talking in front of 100 people. It is. It is. Very often, the couple will say, oh, well, our family friend or whoever's officiating, she is a lawyer.
Enhancing Ceremonies with Vendors
00:28:19
Speaker
they'll know what to do. And I'm like, no, not necessarily. You know, they still need to be coached on, this is, you're not litigating a case. This is a different scenario. Yeah. Here's my TED talk. Here's my PowerPoint presentation. Not bad. Yeah. It's not a marketing presentation. It's not, you know, so it's, it's a different thing. So find somebody who's super comfortable.
00:28:45
Speaker
That's, that's an important Yeah, interesting question. Is there anything like vendors could do like wedding photographers or DJs to make the ceremony better? From my vantage point, something a photographer could do that very often they don't, when that couple is saying their vows to each other, get in close up on their faces. Because those moments can be just
00:29:15
Speaker
captured so beautifully. So that's my one little tip. To wedding planners, very often to them the ceremony is not important. It's getting that cocktail hour going. It's getting that music and the first dance and the catering and all of that.
00:29:36
Speaker
But help me prioritize the ceremony to your clients. That is my one request or tip for a wedding planner. Oh, I love that. Is there something your daughter did for your wedding that was unique? You said she's like a comedian, but is there maybe something that our listeners that are listening like the couples could incorporate in their ceremony that's kind of cute or quirky?
00:30:06
Speaker
not necessarily unless you have a millennial marrying you because she was up there all of like 25 years old and she was super honest. She said
00:30:22
Speaker
I've never really been in a long-term relationship and why I'm standing here and marrying my mom is beyond me. It was cute, but usually it's not somebody that young marrying you. So I wouldn't say anything that my daughter did necessarily is something that I would recommend.
00:30:44
Speaker
You know, I think when I coach a family member or a friend, it's very much about the story, your story. After you've welcomed everybody, you're up there saying, hi, I'm Carissa and I'm standing here because
00:31:02
Speaker
I've known my niece Sally since she came out of the womb and I've watched her grow up and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That story, those three or four minutes is really important. And you want, you want that, whoever's telling your story, you want them to be so engaging. You want them to hold that audience. It's holding the crowd like an actor does.
00:31:26
Speaker
Mm-hmm. It's really, you know, you've got to have those guests in the palm of your hand for those 20, 30 minutes, whatever your ceremony is. So that's why finding the right person to marry is so important.
00:31:40
Speaker
Wow. It really is about the word said. My wedding on Saturday, their wedding venue got canceled for the Wafers Chapel. So they did it at this church and it was definitely no Wafers Chapel, but she said her vows. She was a white girl, but she said her vows in Spanish.
00:31:58
Speaker
all his family Spanish speakers. And he said it was so much passion. She really captivated the crowd with her emotions and her eye contact. And everyone was crying, even the people that couldn't understand her. It was just so powerful. The hugs, the love. Her sister was hugging her in tears after. And it was such a beautiful, beautiful ceremony. You're giving me goosebumps. Yeah, you could do that in the parking lot. And it would be just as good. It was not powerful.
00:32:28
Speaker
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Speaker
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00:34:04
Speaker
So yeah, ever since the podcast, I signed up for Kickstarter Accounting and wow, so much peace of mind in my finances. So if you are a wedding pro looking to streamline your financial processes and gain clarity on your business financial health, I have the perfect solution for you.
00:34:22
Speaker
Kickstart Accounting Inc. offers specialized bookkeeping services designed by entrepreneurs by entrepreneurs. Their services are tailored to woman-owned businesses, focusing on providing clear, accurate financial records, allowing you to focus on what you do best, growing your business. I invite you to book a discovery call with Kickstart Accounting. The link is in the show notes. Mention, heck yes.
PR Challenges and Networking Advice
00:34:50
Speaker
And yeah, they are going to get your finances in order so you can continue to scale and succeed. Back to the show. You see, that's the magic. They created magic.
00:35:04
Speaker
with their ceremony. And that's what I'm always trying to do. My goal is always to create magic in however way I can, because that's so beautiful in what you just described. Let's put on our marketing hats a little bit, business hats instead of emotional hats, but what maybe
00:35:25
Speaker
Like, how did you get your clients in the beginning and your leads? And how did you make this, you know, probably this divine thing happen and come to fruition? Yeah. You know, starting out was really rough. It was I had no idea what I was doing. And I did a lot of free, free work.
00:35:52
Speaker
Anybody I knew who was getting married who wanted to do their you know friends a friend just starting out with friends and Then I did an email marketing campaign introducing This new business and I from my corporate life life. I had a mailing list of like 12,000 people Wow and interestingly enough there was a lot of work that came out of that first email and then
00:36:20
Speaker
Because I was in public relations, I had a lot of press contacts. And within the first couple of months of starting out, Martha Stewart Weddings did two stories on me. Brides did a story. Wall Street Journal did a story. And that was only because of the contacts I had from my previous life. So that's sort of how I got going. And then my main goal really is always to reach wedding planners because those are my best leads.
00:36:50
Speaker
Wow. So it's just a continual outreach, which I still do. Yeah, they say people that know PR rule the world, right? Yeah, right, right, right, right, right. Exactly. What's your best PR hack that maybe people don't know because, you know, I'm not a PR. I don't know anyone else in PR. So wedding PR is so different than the PR I used to do. And
00:37:18
Speaker
I don't think there are that many actual publicists who specialize in wedding vendor PR because that's what it is. As a vendor, you have to pitch yourself. How do you do that? I don't really have the key to it.
00:37:39
Speaker
It fell in my lap, to be perfectly honest. I was not writing to the writer in Brides magazine saying, hey, I've got this new blah, blah, blah. You know, they're not paying any attention. But it was the fact that I got press originally just kept
00:37:58
Speaker
You know, Vogue, I just did a huge feature in Vogue like two months ago and they came to me because they read some other piece of press. So it just kind of snowballs. But I don't really know how to get it. No, that's a really good story. It's almost like when you have a business with a really cool story behind it.
00:38:19
Speaker
it's more likely to get good PR. I think even just like, you got to thank your hubby for the proposal story because I know, right? Like everything that like lit, lit everything up. And I think I mean, for most wedding planners and photographers, it's about getting your that wedding published.
00:38:39
Speaker
It's all about that. And I'm not looking to get a wedding published. So I don't know how that works. I've never tried to get a wedding published. It's not my thing. I just want my story or my business. So it's very different, but you want to get into style me pretty. You want your weddings published. So it's a totally different ballgame.
00:39:04
Speaker
Yes. Okay, last question before rapid fire questions. This is just more mindset. Speaking to the hearts of wedding pros, anyone feeling a little down, maybe they're struggling a little bit to make their business turn into their dreams. They listen to my podcast thinking, Oh, it's so easy for everyone so easy for Tanya to just
00:39:27
Speaker
make it happen, but it's not happening for them. What would you say to them to do something today to just, I don't know, get out their heads and make it happen? You have to hustle. You have got to be willing to just hustle nonstop. If starting a new business
00:39:46
Speaker
anybody out there, it's not easy. It is not easy, but you can't give up. If it's something you truly believe in, you know this is what you belong, this is what you're meant to do, then just make as many connections as you can. And in terms of wedding pros listening to this, Joining WIPA is a great organization to meet other vendors and really get in there and
00:40:16
Speaker
So joining wedding associations I think is important and attending networking events and you just keep meeting people and getting yourself out there and being on podcasts like yours.
Conclusion and Offers
00:40:31
Speaker
That's a good name that you can't forget for sure. Yeah.
00:40:35
Speaker
Okay, so that was a great rapid fire questions. Three of them. First one is best mother daughter advice for me. For you? I have two daughters. How old are they? Seven and going to be four on Monday. Oh, so sweet.
00:40:58
Speaker
Wow. Raising girls, you know, I have one of each. Very different to raise. Be a friend. Not now. Not now. You're a mom. You're a mom. Much later. To establish a friendship where
00:41:20
Speaker
They're not scared to come to you with anything. My daughter has been so open with me from losing her virginity to whatever it is. She has never held anything back. Wow. So it's actually creating a safe space. Wow. Okay. That's really cool. Okay. Second question in a nutshell, what was it like growing up in Belgium?
00:41:46
Speaker
living in Europe and I go back a lot. I go back for work and I go back personally because I'm European and I'm married a Dutchman. So he comes from the Netherlands, which is right next door to Belgium. Go figure out how to find that. So we go back a lot. I think the lifestyle anywhere in Europe is so much healthier. It's so much calmer. I mean, people work hard, but
00:42:15
Speaker
No one's working on weekends. No one's emailing on weekends. In France, it's against the law. Yeah, I heard that, Emily. Right, exactly. I love that. I can't wait for that show to come back. So it's just a much healthier lifestyle. And growing up, I mean, I lived there until I was 12, so I was a young kid. But going back now, as often as I do, it's just
00:42:42
Speaker
It's an easier life in so many ways. Yeah. That's so special. Dang, LA and New York. Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. Last question. Um, before we tell everyone where to find you and your little, um, discount for our listeners, but you know, your hubby made in China, um, ring ring proposal proposal, did nine to nine to nine. What was the last proposal that you finally said? Yes.
00:43:11
Speaker
Well, it was when he had the real ring and we went to Paris for Thanksgiving.
00:43:20
Speaker
And I did not know when the ring was going to be ready. I just, you know, I kept expecting more of these made in China rings. And in Paris he did. It was the real thing. Wow. Yeah. And you could tell, right? I could tell. I mean, out of this box comes exactly what I had envisioned. But I had only envisioned it to see it in real life, what I had created. I didn't make it.
00:43:48
Speaker
envisioned was an amazing moment, really amazing. Yeah, beautiful. Well, this conversation was really cool. And it really flowed well, but tell everyone where to find you, how to work with you and a little discount for our guest listeners. Of course. So it's the website is the vowel whisper calm. Instagram, the vowel whisper,
00:44:11
Speaker
TikTok, everything, the Val Whisperer, and email is Tanya at the Val Whisperer. Can't get any easier than that. And I would love to offer your listeners, let's say the first five couples who mention you, I'd like to give them 20% off of all services.
00:44:32
Speaker
my clients are going to so hop on that I have that need coaching. So this is really fun. And we will all I will be referring you as much as I can. Thank you. Thank you so much.
00:44:52
Speaker
Thanks for joining me this week on Get a Heck Yes with Carissa Wu. Make sure to follow, subscribe, leave a review, or tell a friend about the show. Take a screenshot and post to IG. Tag me. Also, don't forget to download my free guide on how to become a lead generating machine. See you next time, wedding pros!