Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
How To Stop Emotional Eating with Dietician Abby Langer - E21
24 Plays10 months ago
Do you find yourself struggling to maintain a balanced diet? Are you unsure how to address emotional eating habits? Perhaps you've tried different exercise routines and diets, only to feel frustrated by a lack of sustainable results and unhappy with your overall well-being. In this episode, we delve into useful strategies for addressing both the physical and deeper emotional side of our diets, and guide you towards a more healthy relationship with food.
Abby Langer is a renowned dietitian and the author behind "Good Food, Bad Diet," which focuses on identifying and neutralizing negative core beliefs to achieve long-lasting dietary health. Abby is driven by a mission to prevent nutritional misinformation from exploiting people's resources and health. She has worked extensively both in clinical nutrition, and nutrition media and consulting. Abby’s work and writing focuses on body respect and intuitive-style eating. In her hit podcast, "Aggressive Salad: Nutrition with a Bite", she seeks to throw out the nutrition fiction and bring in the facts. She has a dedicated and regularly engaged following in the media, on social media and on her blog, which averages 100,000 readers each month.
“Eat for how you want to feel.” - Abby Langer
In this episode you will learn:
- The importance of a balanced exercise routine, including strength training and cardio, particularly for women over 50.
- How Abby integrates nature and outdoor activities like walking and swimming into her lifestyle despite weather challenges.
- Insights into Abby's non-obsessive approach to sleep and the use of earplugs to enhance sleep quality.
- Practical advice for parents on modeling healthy behaviors and using neutral language about food to foster better eating habits in children.
- The significance of addressing emotional and psychological aspects of eating habits to achieve meaningful dietary changes.
- The role of social connections in maintaining mental health and the communal experience of sharing food.
Resources
- Connect with Abby on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/langernutrition
- Find out more about Abby’s research, writings and offerings: https://abbylangernutrition.com/
- Listen to her podcast, “Aggressive Salad: Nutrition with a Bite”: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/aggressive-salad-nutrition-with-a-bite/id1633107473
- Shop all the products Abby mentions in the episode: https://alively.com/products/abbylanger
This podcast was produced by the team at Zapods Podcast Agency:
https://www.zapods.com
Find the products, practices, and routines discussed on the Alively website:
https://alively.com/
Recommended
Transcript
The Paradox of Food Restriction
00:00:00
Speaker
If you can't stay away from whatever it is you're eating, it may not actually be the fact that the food tastes that good, yeah as much as you're telling yourself you can't have that food. So you want it more.
Introduction to Home of Health
00:00:15
Speaker
This is the Home of Health spam podcast, where we profile health and wellness role models, sharing their stories and the tools, practices and routines they use to live a lively life.
Meet Abby: Debunking Nutrition Myths
00:00:29
Speaker
Abby, thank you so much for joining us today. It's great to see you. It's great to see you and thank you for having me. Yes, i I'm going to have to really hold myself back from making this too much of like a personal therapy session, like looking at your content. There's so many questions I have personally on my life and everything, but hopefully those will also be applicable to our listeners.
00:00:51
Speaker
but um Where we jump in, you know you're really well versed and trained and known for the nutrition space. You're a dietician. You know a lot about this. And I think what I've seen, the the greatest service you provide is debunking a lot of popular myths.
00:01:11
Speaker
people will We like to latch on to something that seems trendy or or easy, and and you help kind of bring us back.
The Mission to Correct Misinformation
00:01:18
Speaker
How did you get into that? That's a pretty specific thing to say, here's my calling. I'm going to go do this.
00:01:24
Speaker
Well, I worked in in hospitals and clinics for a really long time. And when I started my business, um or at least my social media, I found myself gravitating towards the debunking space because I just saw so much misinformation out there. And I guess like I was just born with this philosophy that I cannot i cannot let people be taken advantage of, it really bothers me. And that's exactly what happens when we get misinformation online, like people fall for it um for whatever reason, and there's so many reasons, and they lose money, they lose health, emotional and physical through it. And it's just, it's so wrong to me that I knew that I had so much to say, and only I could say it in the way that I do.
00:02:17
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And it's really entertaining. It's a good sanity check where you can come across something somewhere else and like, ah, did Abby comment on this yet? Let me just, let me see what she thinks on this. Yeah. Yeah.
Critique of the Ode Zimpic Trend
00:02:28
Speaker
I saw one recently, the the whole Ode Zimpic trend. Oh my God. Great great name, but i got can you describe kind of what was, what's going on there and and your reaction to it?
00:02:40
Speaker
I mean, ah because GLP-1 agonist medications are so popular and so effective, of course, there's a bunch of people who have no nutrition training whatsoever. Although, I i did see a dietitian recently promoting this. People are like promoting natural oesumpa.
00:02:59
Speaker
So ah they'll promote like this zempek, which is like just a blended oats, water, and lime juice mixture, which looks like oat milk that tastes like crap. like I don't even know why someone would say you can lose weight with this, but people are making claims about it. and it like and I've seen supplements and just other food combinations that are apparently natural or something, but that doesn't exist. Nothing is going to work like a GLP-1 agonist medication. Yes, some foods like fiber, protein, they top our bodies release GLP-1, but like it's not the same not even close to the effect. and Listen, like if oats and water and lime juice help people lose weight and were really effective, wouldn't we know that already? like it's we out for millions of years however many years. You think that comes about because I mean, there are natural analogues, right? Aspirin came from a natural thing, penicillin from a natural mold, berberine and natural kind of metformin equivalent. And so it's just people assuming, hey, if this exists, there must be something in nature that does this.
00:04:06
Speaker
I don't know. I think it's actually, they don't go that far in their brain. They just are like, this was going to get me clicks and notoriety. So like, I'm going to just do it because basically people can say anything they want online and get away with it, especially in the nutrition space.
Abby's Nutritional Philosophy
00:04:22
Speaker
So on nutrition, I mean, there's a lot of don't do's with these fads and diets and everything around. Can you say, as someone who's trained, who spends a lot of time thinking and advising on this, what is it you actually do? What is what is your kind of nutritional approach, week to week or month to month, or even day to day, how you go about it?
00:04:43
Speaker
it's so not sexy, but just a worried diet of a lot. I eat a lot of plants. I eat a lot of lean proteins. I basically eat whatever I want. Like if I went, if I wanted pizza or I wanted, you know, Oreos or whatever, I don't tell myself I can't have those because I know after years and years of not only like counseling people about this, but also experience, personal experience. I'm just going to want them more, those things. If I tell myself I can't have them. So I've come to the realization that the best way to eat for me and for most of my clients is in a permissive fashion. so
00:05:26
Speaker
And I tell people eat for how you want to feel. So um am I recommending that people eat Oreos all the time? Of course not. But I'm recommending that people eat the things that they know will make their bodies and their minds feel good. And, you know, if that ah one day is a couple of Oreos, that's fine.
00:05:48
Speaker
This is one I have so a lot of
Exploring Food Addiction
00:05:50
Speaker
questions on. So I just read this book by Sam Quinones, Kinones, the least of us. And it's yeah his first book was on the opioid epidemic. And then this one brings in methyl out more. But then he starts bringing in all these other addictions, right of the actually as a tested rats with with sugar, the reaction in the brain was very similar to heroin and and it it makes you more likely to get addicted to others. And then with bigger companies, same with social media, right? That they they do have psychologists on staff trying to figure out, okay, how do we get people to engage more slot machines, right? The casinos have the same thing, like, what's the rate cadence, the percent of when did you get, how quickly it turns. And so where you have big companies that are able to say, okay, we know how to hit the right reward centers in your brain, like, lime toasty does,
00:06:44
Speaker
It takes an insane amount of willpower for me. I have to put the bag like in a different building after i I get one handful. Because otherwise, I'm just like, if it's near me... It would be like, life just gets to me. like I could have them in my pantry forever and not even... I don't care about them.
00:07:00
Speaker
Yeah, I, as long as I don't see them, I guess technically I have them, but if they're sitting there, I mean, I'm the same. if If the server doesn't take the plate away, even though I'm full, if there's some food there, you know, that sugar, sweet fat, whatever, like I'll keep dipping at it. And I think a lot of people are like that. I mean, yeah the, the challenge on willpower. So knowing that you'll feel good, right? Like nobody thinks, Hey, you know, what's going to make me feel great in an hour?
00:07:29
Speaker
is eating two sleeves of Oreos. But as you're tasting it, you're like, you know what's going to feel great is another Oreo. You mentioned willpower a couple of times. I actually don't believe that willpower is a thing with diet. okay I think that that's something that we've been fed by the diet industry so that we can blame ourselves when we... are um And what you're describing to me sounds not physiological as much as it does emotional.
00:07:57
Speaker
like okay Nobody eats two sleeves of Oreos because they physiologically need that. They eat two sleeves of Oreos because they are looking for something else. They need, at that time, that isn't necessarily Oreos, but Oreos are the most available thing, if you will, to to to fill whatever that need might be. so you know it doesn't like yes i mean I'm sure food companies have people who um who do their obviously do their marketing and and know how to like suck people in. And yes, the combination of salt and sugar and fat is really compelling. I'm not going to use the word
00:08:40
Speaker
dance because the the studies that you mentioned with the rats and the cocaine or whatever those have been debunked a million times including on my blog that they're like they don't prove anything and as far as like the dopamine hit and like the addictive like lights up your brain so does sex so to shock it. It's like, you know, like, I don't know, doing anything that we enjoy, right? So that's, um well, that's been overblown. But I think, you know, ah people, you know, obviously there is some physiological response to food. But what you're describing to me is, I think after just about 25 years as being a dietician, what I hear is like, there's an emotional need that's not being met. And that's why
00:09:28
Speaker
There's like all of this, you know, or like even a physiological need. Like if you can't stay away from, you know, whatever it is you're eating, tostitos, or if you're at a restaurant, whatever, it may not actually be the fact that the food tastes that good, yeah as much as maybe an other um in other times you're telling yourself you can't have that food.
00:09:50
Speaker
So you want it more. It makes a lot of sense, right? As you're saying, it because the the other things, people can get addicted to those other things, too. Like anything that's going to give you a dopamine, it can be addictive. And maybe it's just food is the easiest one for a lot of people. Food addiction is not it the result ah The research is really not conclusive in terms of whether the food addiction actually exists. Certainly, if you believe you have a food addiction, I i acknowledge that and I'm not trying to say that
Recognizing Eating Triggers
00:10:24
Speaker
it's for sure not a thing or that you don't feel what you're feeling. But as far as the the evidence goes, food addiction, we're not sure if it really is an actual addiction.
00:10:36
Speaker
There's new stuff coming out about it. That's that's interesting. But I think like for most people it that ah at least who I've seen it's like It's an emotional thing or radio eating um They're not eating enough like at certain parts of the day. And so then they overeat later enough or bla blah blah All of that stuff there's so many different factors. Okay. Yeah, so I guess let's if I can back up myself away from some of the labels and and think about more but Instead of what to avoid or what's wrong, the the what to do. and Your principles are mostly plants, some lean proteins, not the exclusionary diet. hey If I really want this, there may be a reason for it when you do it. Is that that fair? Am I missing kind of another core principle you would have?
00:11:27
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I always say to people, be a pencil, not an eraser. So add things to your goal. Let's update things out of our diets. And um I always tell people, like, if you want something, I always tell people to pause before they take something to eat. How hungry are you? What do you really want right now to eat? If you're not hungry, what is it that you need?
00:11:51
Speaker
yeah What are you feeling right now? It forces people to, especially people who tend to overeat or emotionally eat, it forces people to take a couple of beats and really identify the emotions that they're experiencing and instead of just stuffing them down immediately with them. Once you identify these emotions, then you can choose what you want to do with them.
00:12:17
Speaker
right? You can address them, you can go for a walk, you can talk to a friend, whatever. Sometimes you will have a piece of cake, whatever. But at least, you know, you're taking that pause in order to like figure shit out instead of just, you know, stuffing it down with food.
00:12:33
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, sometimes you're just thirsty. I know Charles Duhigg has this book, The Power of Habit, and he talked about as he was writing it, this certain time in the afternoon, he would always go get a cookie. Yeah. And then he started, he put on weight and he he backed out and he's like, oh, it's just this time of the day, I just get really bored. And so when I started replacing, I just walk and I would talk to people and I was never hungry. It wasn't like I felt hungry in those times. It was, it was this trigger of when I felt boredom.
00:12:57
Speaker
my go-to was this is how I feel back to your point. There's some void you're feeling that's not the calorie deficit in your body. It's something else you're feeling. right yeah So, yeah I mean, you're you seem very kind of whole food effort on single ingredient base, whatever kind of the term people want to use. But just thinking about i eat mostly plans, I eat lean proteins, I eat variety.
Processed Foods in a Realistic Diet
00:13:21
Speaker
I don't try to exclude things. I try to add things, try to things. Do you have any things you supplement with, whether it's vitamins or proteins or anything that you add as supplements into your routine? No.
00:13:37
Speaker
I don't take any supplements. i should I should take vitamin D because I'm in Canada, but ah care um but I actually don't. and I don't necessarily believe in all whole foods either. um yeah think that you know, processed and even ultra processed foods do have a place in people's diets. I mean, if i it's basically impossible to to eat without eating processed and ultra processed foods. And I would never suggest it because it's totally elitist, but it's also really, really unrealistic. like um
00:14:12
Speaker
i mean It takes a lot of time.
00:14:16
Speaker
like i don't know they Convenience foods are called that for a reason. right and right i mean We all need that sometimes, but if you eat as many whole or minimally processed foods as you can afford and as you can access, then you should be on the right track. and yeah i Watch the alcohol as well because that's a big problem with people I'm seeing.
00:14:43
Speaker
as in it's getting worse or in general, it's like, I think a lot of people, they drink way too much. And it's way above the healthy drinking guidelines, which are one drink a day for women to for men, which I mean, I think is even a lot. And it doesn't contribute any, anything meaningful or helpful to your diet. Yeah, definitely to the diet.
00:15:06
Speaker
And then, I mean, back to your point, I think I'm just going to keep coming back to this. What is it that you're trying to fill with that? Right. You know, if it's at the end of the day, I really need this. Like, OK, well, what is it that makes you feel you need this? Yeah, I mean, and that's where I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it in particular, a lot of. women will reward themselves at the end of the day, especially women who have children, but maybe someone has like a big job or whatever, and they'll sit down and they'll drink half a bottle of wine. and the think you know It's like a sense of permissiveness. had our day, this isn't gonna help me relax. But at the end of the day, like women are dying in ah and getting sick in unprecedented rates from alcohol related illnesses. um So I mean, I drink too. So I'm not saying I never drink, but I see people ah over consuming alcohol. and And many of them come to me to lose weight. And I'm like, if you stop drinking so much,
00:16:06
Speaker
We can take 300 calories a day out and show some of this. Yeah, it's it would be an easy. So I tell people I never tell people to cut it out and like altogether because I don't think that's fair or realistic. But I say, you know, cut it down as much as possible. Like start with cutting down by half.
00:16:22
Speaker
It's amazing just that cutting down my head, my father drank quite a bit growing up and I saw him once and he had lost a lot of weight and he said he had stopped drinking beer and I went and visited home and the fridge was filled with beers. What's going on? He said, oh, but what it is is half of it's non-alcoholic and I just split. And it was just cutting his consumption down to half being non-alcoholic made that big a difference. It's also the same with soft drinks, like as sugar, sweetened beverages. Of course, like and those are responsible for something else in the world. Like they're not, they don't have any kind of health benefit. So when I, when I have a person who drinks a lot of sugar, sweetened beverages, whether it's soda or whether it's like Starbucks, sweetened coffee drinks, you know, cut it down by half at first. See how you do. Yeah, no go cold turkey. Yeah.
Impact of Parental Influence on Eating Habits
00:17:11
Speaker
what One thing we talked a lot about because it's very connected is the mindset piece of this. Yeah. And
00:17:19
Speaker
I definitely want to put more into that and how you got there. But if I can, there was one specific post you had that just spoke a lot to me ah around it was more for moms, but our relationship with food and then what it does for our children. So I and this has been attention with my ex on my relationship with food and you know, I'll do a couple of five day water fasts a year because I believe in the autophagy, who knows, right? Like we're we're always learning new things, but do those. And then I try to be very thoughtful, right? I eat mostly whole plants. I just roast a bunch of plants in the day and then I use that for lunch and dinner and then kind of top up with the flax and a bunch of other stuff. But being so thoughtful
00:18:06
Speaker
my wife actually say crazy on food or the fasting in general. It is a consistent concern I have of what that passes down mindset wise about the relationship with food to my daughter, I have an eight year old daughter. Can you say more about kind of what you've seen there and what the right answer is there. I feel like you're not going to like what I have to say. I don't but but i'm asking me like scientific evidence that supports water fasting at all. And I don't think that it's a healthy thing. I think it's
00:18:38
Speaker
It's disorder, really, for most people, unfortunately. And as a mother of two daughters, myself, yeah um one just turned 14, the other 16, they get enough shit from the internet. They do not need to see that at home. I would really not advise the fasting. like Don't do it. Because if they see you not eating for days on end,
00:19:03
Speaker
you know what to back up a little bit my post was about how mothers influence, and sisters actually, influence their daughter's eating behaviors and relationship with food and risk for eating disorders. And it it has been shown again and again and again that the a mother or sister's relationship with food in terms of restriction, dieting behaviors, body talk like, oh, I look so fat or look at that person's body, it's disgusting, whatever,
00:19:39
Speaker
leads to an increased risk for eating disorders for their daughters or sisters. So you know knowing that, and the the father piece has not, I don't think, been studied all that much. Yeah, I just didn't give myself a free pass. Just because it said moms, I was just like, I don't know. She's still looking at me too, so I got to... I know that the youngest kid who has ever been in my office for an eating disorder was five.
00:20:07
Speaker
was fine And i No, for a fact, because I took the mother into a separate room and said, have you been dieting? So I know for a fact that she had and that that was part of the reason why the child was restricting her food. So it does make a difference. And I really, really, really discourage anyone from dieting, restricting food, fasting for like days on end.
00:20:41
Speaker
Well, all together like i i don i don't encourage it but also um doing it in front of children that you think they don't notice but they they notice i don't care how young they are they notice there's no question i know she notices i'm so i'm just trying to figure out a thread the line. Do not cause her issues.
00:21:01
Speaker
Well, why do you do it in the first place? Like, there's been no human research showing that five days or four days or whatever it was of of fasting leads to any benefits. I thought Volter Longo and who's the other, like Rhonda Patrick, there there were several I thought that Rhonda Patrick is not like a legitimate source for information.
00:21:29
Speaker
But the the people she had, like the the USC Volterlongo, right, with the longevity diet and the whole pro-lon. So I started with pro-lons. And then I was like, well, why am I paying $300 not to eat? I could just not eat on my own.
00:21:47
Speaker
And four times a year just was excessive. I was losing strength and everything, so I cut down to two. but but And maybe you know on the internet, you can find anything that confirms what you want. But the tough G, I thought kind of day four or so, it kicks in. And so I saw it as this is my kind of pre-cancer, clean out any damaged cells.
00:22:10
Speaker
So that, you know, I start off clean and I notice I sleep way better. Things that were hurting before injuries from swimming or weightlifting, whatever, like go away. It it does seem like it helps my body. My HRV doubles typically. And my resting heart rate goes down by 20, 25%. So it seems like my body responds well to it when I do it.
00:22:34
Speaker
Yeah, so I'm just wondering what the, what outcome you're expecting though, like if you're gonna fast it for that long. I'm wondering if mike it just it doesn't seem healthy. And yes, like there is some research around fasting and autophagy, but it's not in humans.
00:22:59
Speaker
i just i And mostly probably because it's unethical to keep humans in a lab. actually um But I'm not going to get ethics approval for that. But, um you know, if you're concerned about the impact it has on your child, you know, that would be my first concern. I mean, you can do whatever you want. I'm just curious as to why you would put yourself through that. But that's that's if I, you know, like, whatever. But I would say if you have to do it and do it when you're not around her. Yeah.
00:23:34
Speaker
i It's definitely not something I have to do. It's not a fun thing to do, but it is believing that you're doing something good for you. Did you have cancer? I mean, my my mother had colon cancer pretty young and I've had a lot of gastrointestinal issues and we have a family history. So it's just trying to to get ahead of it, right? I'm in my mid 40s. I just want to not have that, right? Die with something, not of something. Yeah. Okay.
00:24:06
Speaker
so i' Sorry, I didn't i didn't mean to make this a total kind of personal therapy. But the on mindset, I mean, how how did you come to identifying that link? you
Emotional Roots of Food Issues
00:24:19
Speaker
know and So you know you come into it on nutrition. Here's the stuff that comes. Here's the right balance. Here's what we need to eat. But then seeing the mindset and mentality impact on it and how it ties and say, oh, actually, this this might be the lever that impacts us over here.
00:24:36
Speaker
mindset as in relationship with food or what? mindset but I don't know if it's separate. I mean, I think, yes, mindset and relationship with food, but your mindset overall, right? Because it's mindset, stress management, because it can be a coping mechanism for some people, whether it's alcohol or it's food or shopping, whatever it is, how you manage your own equanimity.
00:25:00
Speaker
You know, i over years of counseling, I began to realize that most of people's food issues are not anything to do with food.
00:25:11
Speaker
They have nothing to do with food whatsoever. And that they have to do with negative core beliefs about themselves that they learned when they were really young. They have to do with, you know, um society's expectations of them. In particular, we're seeing this a lot in women who who are midlife, um who are expected to have the same bodies as they did when they were 30.
00:25:34
Speaker
but bodies are supposed to change through the life cycle. And so I realized that in order to make meaningful lasting change to your diet, you first have to take a look at ah the emotional or psychological side of your you're eating habits and your relationship with food. Because if you don't, and there's a lot of people who who don't because it's painful, right? yeah um If you don't, there it's going those issues are going to be, or those beliefs are going to be like an app, constantly refreshing in the background of your mind. so I have a course called the eating after 40, predominantly for women over 40 all the way up to like whatever age, and that's the entire first part of the course. That's like the first four weeks.
00:26:27
Speaker
Because um this is teaching them how to identify negative core beliefs and neutralize them. Because these beliefs are they govern a lot of what we choose to do with our lives and how we choose to eat. and and again like if they are negative, they cause us to feel a certain way about our bodies or about food and it really impacts our few choices negatively. So we we take we tackle those first and then we get into the eating part of it.
00:27:00
Speaker
Whereas most nutrition programs, they just talk about what to eat and what not to eat. But I don't think that's helpful to anybody, but not for the long term, right? Yeah, so I mean, that's that's for the course for over 40. But you you talked about you see people younger, right? You've had a five-year-old. I imagine you have teenagers, 20-year-olds. How do you help them or how do they help themselves?
00:27:24
Speaker
address that mindset piece, that side of it of saying, hey, this isn't actually about food. This is about something else that you're going to need to deal with that we're not going to deal with in the kitchen. How do they deal with that? Well, they have to identify what the problem is first. And so how do they do that?
00:27:40
Speaker
So and just by talking to me ah or talking to them, if I talk to someone for like a couple of minutes, I can tell already how how what the relationship with food is not obviously in detail, but um but a lot of the time people need therapy. Yeah.
00:27:57
Speaker
You know, like I, my scope of practice only goes so far. i I'm not. So let me just give you an example. So I have plenty of people who have been dieting forever, who hate their bodies, who think they're fat, who tell themselves again and again, like,
00:28:15
Speaker
however many times a day that they're not worthy, you know that you know they look a a certain way and it's awful. Where did this come from? This is not about food. This is about you know often a family member, like a parent, telling them that they needed to lose weight when they were young. Or a parent, or both parents, being on diets continuously when this person was young, or commenting on other people's bodies. And when you're young, you internalize that.
00:28:43
Speaker
This is why I'm like, don't die in front of your kids. Don't put your kids on the ballot. Because kids end up twisting that into a negative core belief that says, I am not worthy unless I look like X.
00:29:00
Speaker
You know, or food is my enemy. So I shouldn't be eating. Or, you know, if a person looks a certain way, they're not deserving of love. And our body is a body is only right.
00:29:15
Speaker
if it looks like X. So these are things that people carry forever, unless they address that. And it sucks to address it. like It's so shit to address it because you have to go back and think, where did all of this come from? And I have a systematic approach to this.
00:29:36
Speaker
in my course and in my book, actually, Good Food, Bad Diet, where I teach people how to go back and be like, okay, what happened? You know, is this the truth? You know, who said it? And it's really, it's a lot of work, but it will free you to then make your the changes that you need to make for your health. As a parent, and hopefully this is helpful for other listeners, but how did thread that line. Because you know, my eight year old daughter, if it was up to her, she would be in there and it would just be like hard candies and pure sugar. I mean, anytime she's just always going after candy and sugar because that's, that's what tastes good. It all is. And trying to get her to realize food is not the enemy food is fuel. But just like you could put bad fuel in like, you know how you feel 30 minutes after you eat all this. Yeah. Versus if we go eat this,
00:30:30
Speaker
You notice how we go play for four hours together outside and and you don't feel like that. Yeah. the There's nothing that's bad, but understanding what it's going to make you feel like and and how to do that in in a healthy way ah to not get those downstream effects. Yeah, you know, I mean, first of all, you need to model the behavior that you want to see in your children. So parents who um very clearly are on diets or are insulting their own body um that's your kids are picking up on that. And also, you know, you have to parent like you have to set limits. So watching the verbiage that you use around kids good or bad food, food, clean, clean food, like dirty food, like that doesn't exist. Okay. Miss for laundry, not food. Don't tell someone that it's the or your kids that
00:31:23
Speaker
some foods are bad and some foods are good. Yes, some foods are more physically nourishing than others, of course. And we're parents, we need a parent, which means we need to set limits. So letting them take what they want at the dinner table, letting them serve themselves, making you know vegetables, fruits, whole grains, proteins, like making those available to them and letting them make that selection instead of telling the kid, you need to eat this before you get your dessert. That's like totally not not
00:31:54
Speaker
Not recommended anymore. I just started getting away from that. We were over at a friend's house and cut up a ton of vegetables. And while they sat and they watched a movie and the adults hung out, it was like, I've noticed if I just put this plate of vegetables in front of them while they watch a movie, they eat the whole thing. When he was sitting there, I don't have to tell them you have to eat this, they just do it.
00:32:12
Speaker
And so finding stuff like that, just having the right foods. Having it cut up and ready in the fridge and just saying, you know, what um if when you open the fridge saying, you know, like, do you want these vegetables or do you want this fruit? Yeah. What do you want? Or these cheese sticks or whatever. And it's like, okay.
00:32:29
Speaker
I think Becky Kennedy, good insight on parenting. They had this idea of different jobs. It's my job to put out the food. And then it's your job to decide what of it you want to eat. I'm not going to tell you you have to eat this, this, or this to get dessert. like This is everything on offer. But if you hate that and say, I want pizza, you're like, well, that's not enough. It was my job. I made the food. Your night to cook, maybe you go do that if you're going to cook. But this is the food that's made that you can select from.
00:32:54
Speaker
Yeah, it's called so the division of responsibility. um The feeding goal of the century, um which is amazing. Yeah, ah you choose the food. They choose how much and if they want it. Yeah,
Physical Activity and Stress Management
00:33:08
Speaker
yeah. Do you have any personal kind of daily mindfulness practices, anything like that that you do?
00:33:14
Speaker
You know, I really need to be in nature. So I don't I don't meditate. I'm not like the meditating type, but I tried. um But I have to go for a walk in nature every day. um And I also have to be active in a different way. Like I several times a week, I need to work out. I have ah peloton bike and treadmill weights and like all of that stuff, it just makes me... I can't deal with stress unless I have that option, right? On that physical movement, right? like the The body needs to move, or our bodies or machines are built to move. wow What does that look like? So these walks in nature, obviously, you're getting sunlight, you're getting yeah the nature bath, whatever the foot, plus the movement, it's taking a bunch of boxes.
00:34:01
Speaker
Yeah, I guess in Canada, it's not always that pleasant to be outside. So no, and sometimes I don't do it. Sometimes the weather is freezing and it's dark and it feels like i I feel like I don't want to go and freeze my ass off. So I'm inside, right? So I will always get it.
00:34:18
Speaker
But I try to get out as much as possible. And when I go away or have an opportunity to get out of the city, I make sure I try to get to a place where there's a body of water because I love um water. um That for me is the best. I love to swim as well. But the pools are kind of annoying here. They're like so crowded and I can't There's always someone like up your ass and in the lane and then there's always someone to slow ahead of you and then someone. facece and you're just like ah Get me out of here. Come to Bermuda. Plenty of open water here. just some nomination We have tons of Canadians down here. I'm scared to swim where the water stark and like it's not dark. yet So it's it's crystal clear inside the reefs. So there aren't sharks.
00:35:05
Speaker
There are, there can this time of season, there there can be jellyfish, so that's not the nicest thing. That's not right. I'm not worried about that. i Yeah, I mean, I've been to the Caribbean. It's beautiful. um And I went to Dalhousie University in Halifax. There were like a ton of Bermudians there. Oh my gosh. And yeah, and I would love to. I'd love to. But here it's like, I don't have an outdoor pool to go to all like July and it's a hassle.
00:35:30
Speaker
Do you have a deliberate mix? You mentioned your palatons, the treadmill, the way it's a deliberate mix between cardio movement versus strength training movement. I'm trying to do like predominantly strength training just because I'm a woman over 50 and I need to maintain my muscle mass. and I think, you know obviously, like I grew up in the 80s and 90s where it was all about cardio. We know now. Um, but I do need, like, I, I, if I do, you know, 66%, um, weights and 33% cardio, that's good. Um, I do need the cardio though, to expend energy and like just get up, yeah you know, definitely need that.
00:36:14
Speaker
And the weights, do you have, do you do one of those where it's like one that adjusts to all the different weights or do you have one set? I have like a whole thing. So like I'll do, I'll put on a Peloton weight, like they have boot camps. So like on the tread or on the bike and you do like weights and cardio and I have like the whole, all of it and kettlebells and I have everything. It's easy for me. Yeah.
00:36:39
Speaker
It's a really a priority for me. Like it's always in my adult life working at has in university I scheduled my classes around it. Like it's, it's always been a priority for me. And you mentioned needing to get some cardio just to get that movement. Is that because I know with some people, if they don't, they have a really hard time sleeping. Like if I don't move enough, it's really hard to get to sleep. Is that kind of a, no've I've never really made that connection. Um, okay but I've never had an issue asleep.
00:37:05
Speaker
Really? Yeah. Do you use any sleep tracker? Do you have a sense of your sleep? I cannot use a sleep tracker because I get so obsessive about it that I can't, I'm not like a tracker of anything. Like i I have an Apple watch, I do my steps, but I try not to really obsess about it. I have like a kind of a personality that, yeah, I tried it. It's not good. But I mean, I go with how I feel. We have a dog, like,
00:37:32
Speaker
old and he's dying of heart failure and it's really sad. But he he like moves around so much, he sleeps on our bed, bad decision. and um And so I sometimes wake up tired, but for the most part, sleep is fine. I don't worry about it that much. Like I have other shit I need to worry about. So you you don't do do like wear an eye mask or a blackout curtains or like anything around Optimate. You just like I move a lot. I eat well and I sleep well. I've been wearing earplugs since university. Since university. So that's like a long time. My husband... Do you do the wax ones or do you do like the foam? The foam ones. Is your dog snore? Do you have to do it because the dog snore? My husband snores. I beat him. and it and I like literally like will like punch him to roll over. And then sometimes the dog snoring too. And I can't tell who is snoring. Who should I hit? It's here snoring. So I'm like, who the hell? i'm like
00:38:31
Speaker
nudging the dog nudging riot like it's crazy. Do you have a particular like band or mattress that you're like, after years we found this and we love it. Okay, my dad always used to say good for when you're getting along good for when you're not good. But yeah, no, ah you know what, like I Whatever. I'm not too particular with the mattress. It's just, I do need to, I always read before I go to sleep too. Okay. Have to read. Do you read physical books or do you do Kindle? Cannot do a Kindle. Like I need to fill pages. I need to be able to flip back like, who's that guy again? And like, yeah, I'm like bereft if I don't have a book. It's like a real hole in my life. So what are you reading right now?
00:39:21
Speaker
I am rereading The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbach. Steinbach, nice. I love it. Yeah. The fifth pillar that kind of sometimes falls by the wayside, but I think we know has a huge impact, even if you're ticking every other box, is that social connection and purpose. So if you're feeling socially isolated, we know your risk of dementia goes up, at all these downstream issues.
00:39:44
Speaker
How do you think about that? I mean, I can see with your purpose, with what you're putting in the world, here's how I can help people with the knowledge I have, and to make it less stressful for them to just live and operate in this world around food. What about the social connection side? I mean, you you do these courses you mentioned,
00:40:04
Speaker
I mean, it's like a little community for us, right? The best thing about my course that I've seen that you don't get in in one-to-one counseling for nutrition is that people realize that they're not alone.
00:40:16
Speaker
in there, right? um So it's been really wonderful. um It just warms my heart. But I think, you know, social connection is so important. You're correct. And it's it's one of those things that people just don't think about yeah and in terms of importance for mental health. Personally, I take a lot of trips to see my friends. I used to live in California, so like every year I'll go to California and and see like my friends and like it just fills my cup. You have to do that, right? And just you know have these meaningful connections with people who, just that, that like fill your cup, who make you feel whole.
00:41:04
Speaker
Right. Yeah. A hundred percent. Do you think there's something different about eating with others, too? Right. We have this idea of breaking bread and the the host like there's a special thing to it. Of course. Food. See, I come from a place where food isn't just fuel. Food is fuel, but it's also community. It's love. It's it's
Food as Connection and Love
00:41:23
Speaker
sharing. It's storytelling. It's all of these things. It's joy. It's like flavor. And I firmly believe you know eating with other people is, it we've been doing it since the beginning of time. Literally. It is incredible. It's funny that we're talking about this now because this morning I was driving my daughter to to school and we're talking about how she shared her food with another person in her class and I was like, my love language is when someone shares their food with me. I remember people, my friend Maria,
00:42:00
Speaker
I remember the day we met. were It was my very first day at this new job and she was already working there as a dietician and we had a meeting and I forgot my lunch. She shared her food with me and it was like, that was it. I love her forever. I love her forever. it's and And I share food with people as an expression of love. yeah yeah I just think that is like the best thing.
00:42:24
Speaker
I will say that I've told this to my daughter. It's the thing I admire most about her, is as soon as she tries something, its food is the predominant, but it could be anything. Anything she finds that she likes or loves, her immediate reaction is, how do I divide this to give this whatever's around to share it? And it's just such it a kind of generous spirit and and brings you in, in a way. Yeah, we hearing you say that,
00:42:53
Speaker
I don't know. You raised her right. That has nothing to do with me. that she She came out of the box that way. i That's why I admire it so much. it's It's not my immediate reaction. I'm like, I need to learn from you. This this is such an admirable quality that I want to be more like you.
00:43:12
Speaker
Well, Abby, this has been fantastic. I really appreciate everything you shared. Hopefully I didn't dig into my own issues too much. Of course not, of course not. But hopefully our listeners, you can find some lessons that aren't just applicable to me that can be applicable to you as well. But we'll put it all on the show notes as well. But anything you'd mention, your course, your book, obviously on social, your handle, where can people find you um if they want to learn more and they should?
Where to Connect with Abby Online
00:43:42
Speaker
Yeah, thank you. Online at abilangernutrition.com and my Instagram, at Langer Nutrition, Facebook, abilangernutrition, you know, all the usual places. Yeah. And really, it is fantastic content. It's a lot of times very funny takedowns of things that can be dangerous, right? That are out there and can be dangerous to us. And Abby, you've done a great service to all of us and especially me today. So thank you so much for your time. You're welcome.
00:44:11
Speaker
Thank you for joining us on today's episode of the Home of Health Span podcast. Remember, you can always find the products, practices, and routines mentioned by today's guests, as well as many other healthspan role models on the lively.com. Enjoy a lively day.