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The Easiest Way to Make Healthy Habits Stick with Moriah Bacus - E69
29 Plays17 days ago
Can you imagine trying to quit hard drugs, nicotine, and alcohol, while also building daily yoga, strength training, and plant-based eating - all in one go?
Most of us know the pain of setting health goals, slipping into overwhelm, and fizzling out before habits ever stick. The real challenge isn’t finding the next fitness plan or diet; it’s overcoming self-doubt, perfectionism, and that critical moment when old identity wins over new routines.
This episode breaks down how lasting change starts with mindset, self-compassion, and small, practical steps, guided by someone who completely transformed her life by taking on one hard thing at a time.
Moriah Bacus is fractional chief of staff, a project manager and accountability coach at Vibe High. With extensive professional experience and over 15 years specializing in project management across diverse sectors, Moriah takes complex visions and breaks them down into manageable, actionable steps. Her coaching approach combines exploratory and reflective questioning with practical project management strategies, helping visionary coaches and consultants get things done and ditch the overwhelm. She operates from the firm belief that true productivity stems from balance, recognizing that health and wellness, meaningful connections, and space for play all serve as essential foundations for a thriving business.
“Anchoring the habit in a specific time and place is probably one of the most powerful things you can do.” - Moriah Bacus
In this episode you will learn:
- Why building new health habits works best by starting with one small change at a time.
- The basics of human design and how understanding your energy type supports better habits.
- The ways mindset and self-talk play a role in lasting behavior change.
- How to shift your identity from “should” statements to “I am” statements for habit success.
- Simple ways to stack new habits onto existing routines for quick wins.
- How to break bad habits by making them harder to access and creating more positive cues.
Resources
- Connect with Moriah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moriah.bacus/
- Learn more about Moriah’s offerings at Vibe High: https://vibehighhere.com/
This podcast was produced by the team at Zapods Podcast Agency:
Find the products, practices, and routines discussed on the Alively website:
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Healthspan and Mariah's Journey
00:00:00
Speaker
Can you imagine trying to quit hard drugs, quit nicotine, quit booze, start a daily yoga habit, start strength training and go plant-based all at once? Like it's crazy, right?
00:00:12
Speaker
But with like one thing at a time, using tools and resources and having self-compassion importantly, you can get there.
00:00:24
Speaker
This is the Home of Healthspan podcast, where we profile health and wellness role models, sharing their stories and the tools, practices and routines they use to live a lively life.
00:00:38
Speaker
Welcome everyone to the latest episode of the Home of Healthspan podcast. Today we have Mariah joining us. And before we get into your story and all the work you're doing, how would you describe yourself?
00:00:50
Speaker
I am an Alively Torontonian. first and foremost, um a Leo, ah human design projector, ISTJ.
Understanding Human Design and Energy Types
00:01:03
Speaker
yeah So a human design projector, i I'd love to hear that expanded and expounded upon.
00:01:15
Speaker
Sure. um So human design is, I'm not sure how to explain it, but let's say a system or a structure um If you think about astrology, something like that, combined with some of these personality profiles that you're maybe accustomed to. This is an ancient wisdom that is becoming more mainstream these days to the point that some manager coaches are now incorporating it into their training with executive teams, which is kind of interesting. So it comes down to our energy types.
00:01:48
Speaker
They use the model like our chakras. So different energy types. So you can either have self-sustaining energy or maybe you have energy that you get from your interactions with others.
00:01:59
Speaker
So my type as a projector, we're here to guide. i am less about the doing and more about the being. So I'm the friend you take on vacation who needs to have a nap after the morning activities.
00:02:11
Speaker
I am not the friend that goes all day and all night without a break, right? um I'm not that great in a nine to five environment, but I'm really great in an environment where I have one-to-one and the opportunity support someone with soundboarding and brainstorming and that sort of thing. I mean, this is a whole system, but I think the main takeaway for me is getting clarity on my energy type, validated a lot of things about me and also helped me let go of a lot of limiting beliefs That I had taken on because someone had said something about me when I realized that just had to do with my energy type. Right.
00:02:47
Speaker
So it's been an interesting journey learning about that.
Role of Fractional Chief of Staff in Habit Building
00:02:51
Speaker
And it's helped me settle into, i believe, the career that I'm meant to be in, which is kind of cool. Yeah. And I'd love to really dive in on the career that you're in, because I think for longtime listeners, this is more of a meta episode. So we we talk a lot about specific healthy habits, whether it's in fitness or nutrition, you know different things people do or this kind of diet and science. But As I understand your work, and please you share much more about it, it's about helping people institute those systems and those processes to build the habits themselves. So it's overarching structure and process to take these lessons and start to apply them in your own life. And that's the work you do with your clients or help train coaches to go help their clients, right? When you talk the meta of the meta.
00:03:43
Speaker
Yeah. So could you share a little bit about your, your business and your, your passion and your work? Sure. So I'm first and foremost, a fractional chief of staff. So this is really like someone's right hand in their business.
00:03:56
Speaker
Um, someone they can trust, someone they can confide in, someone who helps with a variety of operational things, et cetera, et cetera. So a subset of that is my accountability coaching as well as project management. So I am able to help my clients, um,
00:04:10
Speaker
bring their big dreams to life, whether that's a professional project, but also get consistent with personal habits in their lives. So I might have a client who's a coach, as he as you mentioned, he coaches other coaches, right?
00:04:24
Speaker
And I might help him launch a project, for example, his first book, but I'm also helping him stay consistent with waking up at 6 a.m. m each day, right? So I love this approach because I think from a business and an entrepreneurial standpoint,
00:04:40
Speaker
We're only as good as our health and wellness. And I think that really does need to be the foundation of everything else because without those good habits in place, so, you know, the correct amount of sleep, eating healthy, time with your family, that sort of thing, without that in place, you're just on the road to burnout.
Mindset and Motivation in Habit Formation
00:04:57
Speaker
So I do approach my work with my clients in that holistic kind of capacity and encourage them to bring their personal stuff to the table too when we're working together.
00:05:06
Speaker
It's a really good point in that I think a lot of people, because they've been operating in a certain way, I operate on four hours sleep, five hours sleep. I eat junk and I'm fine, you know, whatever it is. And I'm operating fine. It's working fine.
00:05:18
Speaker
And it's one of those, but for that, they don't know what the alternative is, right? If you can go look at the studies in the day and say, Hey, when you get this amount of sleep versus this amount of sleep, here's the number of iqe points you lose.
00:05:32
Speaker
So maybe you're so brilliant that you're performing at this level with that reduced sleep. But can you imagine how brilliant you would be if you had higher energy because you were resting your body the right amount, you were fueling your body the right amount, you had better mitochondrial health because you're moving your body the right amount each day week,
00:05:54
Speaker
And so i I think this is a ah big lesson, not just at the individual level, but companies are seeing too of, oh yeah, if people are healthier, they perform better at work, right? There's a selfless self-interest as a business to help invest in our employees' wellness.
00:06:10
Speaker
But I guess people need to, well, don't want to put words in your mouth, need to want to adopt the habit, right? So how does that come about? Because I think there's a lot of mindset of, I really should X, but they don't really want to. And so it's it's hard to build a habit if you don't really want it. So how does that come into play with the work you do?
00:06:33
Speaker
Yeah, it's interesting because it just comes back to this idea of motivation and willpower. So you might have an initial burst of motivation, like your friend starts running and then you're like, I want to run too. So there's that bit of motivation. So maybe like you go once or twice, but because you haven't changed the underlying mindset and started to believe that you're actually a runner, that's where you fall off.
00:06:59
Speaker
So my work is here to help people have a bit of external motivation and accountability while they're building that habit. Because once you start building the habit, it can tend to create internal motivators.
00:07:14
Speaker
So um someone who's never worked out before, they might work with a trainer so that they have that accountability built in. And maybe they work with that trainer for a couple of months or something like that. But as you know, we crunch our muscles and it feels really, really good. And they get used to that really good feeling.
00:07:30
Speaker
And then they crave the workouts. I mean, this is what happened for me. And now they don't necessarily need that check-in with the trainer anymore because they've developed this intrinsic internal motivation that drives them to want to keep going.
00:07:43
Speaker
And another layer to that is, especially if we're new to bringing healthy new habits into place, but it's this idea of kind of starting small, um And then keeping promises to ourself.
00:07:55
Speaker
Okay, so if we're not used to building habits, we might not believe that we can stick with it. And that might not be conscious, but it could be something deep in here. I've never stuck with things in the past.
00:08:07
Speaker
Chances are I won't do this too. But it's, you know, starting to change the mindset and showing up, even if it's just for five minutes, because then you've kept a promise to yourself. Now you've started to develop self-trust.
00:08:20
Speaker
And now you're the type of person that can keep commitments to yourself. The one thing I do want to say underlying all of this is the mindset shift, because we can have all these habit tips and tricks all we want for weeks, months, years.
00:08:36
Speaker
But if we don't change the mindset about the person we are in relation to our habits, we're We'll never have a lasting change. And I'd love to dig in and practice with different clients how you see this work. Because it's a like so much else in life. I say, if you can't say it with a Taylor Swift lyric, you can you be sure that it's true?
00:08:55
Speaker
And you know she has this line, it's fine to fake it till you make it till you do till it's true. And so there are a lot of people that think, You need the confidence to be able to go do the thing.
00:09:08
Speaker
But I think what the research says and what you seem to be saying is, no, no. no By doing the thing, you build the confidence. it's It's the action. And then the belief follows the action, not the other way around.
00:09:19
Speaker
And so putting those parameters, whether it's an accountability coach, whether it's an accountability partner, whether it's, you know, there are all sorts of commitment strategies. ah systems out there to get you to feel like, Hey, I'm just going to go through, i'm going to do it. And then after a while, that mindset shift starts to occur. And you see yourself as this new person. Like, Hey, it's not that I'm not a runner. Like I've run 10 of the last 12 days. Like I must be a runner. I ran 10 of the last. I, it's not that I used to be a smoker. Like I haven't smoked in two and a half years. I'm not a smoker, right? Whatever it is.
00:09:49
Speaker
You mentioned something at the beginning and it was a should. i think it was like an I should do this. And we can start to let go of the shooting all over ourselves, as they say, and start to rephrase those things as so instead of I should go to the gym.
00:10:03
Speaker
I'm the type of person that values values health and wellness. Right. I'm the type of person that manages my finances. I'm the type of person that makes time for my family.
00:10:17
Speaker
Right. And so when it's when it's late night, I really shouldn't buy this. You're saying, hey, I'm i'm the kind of person that doesn't make bad impulse buys. So I'm not going to buy this when you're getting that second piece of cake.
00:10:29
Speaker
It's not that, oh, I really shouldn't. It's I'm a person that makes healthy food choices for myself. I'm not going to do that. Is that what you're saying? That's exactly it And the real cool part about all of this is we don't need to be like all in.
00:10:45
Speaker
This isn't like a black and white situation. I like to think about it like the scale. Right. And as long as we're making more votes towards the type of person we're becoming, we'll eventually start to tip the scales.
00:10:58
Speaker
So like with anything like you might take like three steps forward, 10 steps back, like all of that sort of thing. It's not about perfection. It's about consistency in returning to the habit.
00:11:11
Speaker
Right.
Personal Transformation and Starting Small
00:11:12
Speaker
So continuing to show up, continuing to try. If you fall off, just come back. Right. Like that sort of action. And yes, it is about the taking action that creates the habit.
00:11:22
Speaker
I want to say something about also about the mindset shift that I think will be relatable to a lot of people. And this is what happens inside containers like alcohol Alcoholics Anonymous, where part of the the practice is to identify as an alcoholic.
00:11:40
Speaker
That never landed well with me. Now I'm not poo-pooing that program or the effectiveness it's had for millions of people, but the idea of having to stand up each time and like den identify as an alcoholic, I feel that that is reconfirming the old identity.
00:11:57
Speaker
I would rather stand up and say, I'm someone that values my health and wellness or some other variation of the type of person I'm becoming. And that's why that sort of system does not click for me because it reinforces the old identity.
00:12:13
Speaker
Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Now for someone, there are many layers of questions I have on this, but say you're, you're starting work with someone. There's someone that says, Hey, I want to change.
00:12:29
Speaker
I'm a healthy person. I want to be a healthy person. And depending where they start, There could be thousands of things you could do over time.
00:12:42
Speaker
And maybe over years, you could stack 20 of them. But how do you start with that first thing? right My co-business partner, Lou, always he talks about when he wanted to get serious about running and really focus in,
00:12:54
Speaker
It wasn't about running more. Initially, it was just about getting up earlier. Hey, let me build this habit of I'm getting up earlier because then I have the time. and And then it was slowly building on top of that. Okay, now let me get up early and go get out in the cold and the wet in the New York winters. And and so he had to to build it.
00:13:11
Speaker
What does success typically, what is that path like for most people? I think he's got it right. And it's starting small. I use the example of meditation.
00:13:23
Speaker
We don't need to book 30 minutes in our calendar right away. You're not going to be able to meditate for 30 minutes, even if you try, you've never done it before. So it's like, start with a couple minutes. It's literally like sitting there, closing your eyes for a minute.
00:13:35
Speaker
What is the smallest version of this habit? Or what is the two minute version might be a way to think about it. Like starting small is the way to go because too much too soon is the kind of thing that really throws us off track and makes us have this sense of defeat.
00:13:52
Speaker
I went for the run and I couldn't get further than, you know, three blocks. And it's like, well, you're not even used to getting up at this time. You're not used to running in the rain. You know, you're not used to running period. Like let's set ourselves up for success by starting small.
00:14:06
Speaker
The other thing too, is this um example about how people, when they gain weight and then they want to lose weight, they want to lose it all all at once. Right. But it's like, we didn't gain that weight all at once.
00:14:19
Speaker
So it's having that kind of same, like, It's going to take time slowly, but surely you'll get there, but it's one step at a time. And on that, because I think there are two levels, there's one starting small.
00:14:31
Speaker
yeah So I can definitely relate to that because after the season, we'd taper and I'd try to get back in shape and I'm like, okay, I'm going to go for a run. And I'd go run eight miles the first day. And then I couldn't walk for two weeks. My calves were too tight and everything. And like, that did not help me get in more shape because then I was unable to do anything. yeah And so starting small, like like maybe what is it should have been that three block run, but there's a separate piece before you even start small within it of what is the thing I even start with?
00:14:57
Speaker
Right. Cause it can be daunting of, okay, I need, you're saying I need to sleep more, but I'm supposed to help somehow supposed to exercise more and then I have to make really healthy food choices, but man, I'm so hungry cause I'm exercising more. And yeah All these things come together and they, one, they work together for this healthier life, but two, that in the near term, they can be pulling and pushing against each other.
00:15:21
Speaker
Absolutely. And it can be overwhelming. We're not machines. We're not robots. I'll share my personal example. So um mentioned I mentioned had a bunch of bad habits and for me, it was literally one thing at a time over right?
00:15:39
Speaker
Now happy. Back then I wasn't. So ah quit drugs, quit a 10 year drug addiction. Right. That took some time. There was some strategies and tools I used for that.
00:15:50
Speaker
Once I got that in the clear, then I picked up my yoga habit. And at that time I was like, let's just play around with this and see if I can keep up a streak. I ended up showing up consistently and building like a daily yoga habit that I did for about a year.
00:16:05
Speaker
Then I quit smoking. So like during my yoga habit, I was still smoking cigarettes, vaping. Then I quit smoking. Then I dropped booze. Then I started my strength training. Then I adopted a plant-based diet.
00:16:19
Speaker
Now, can you imagine trying to quit hard drugs, quit nicotine, quit booze, start a daily yoga habit, start strength training and go plant-based all at once? Like it's crazy, right?
00:16:32
Speaker
But with like one thing at a time, You know, using tools and resources and having self-compassion, importantly, you can get there. But again, don't expect it to be overnight because you will be sorely disappointed. But just focus on one thing at a time. And this is what I love about Alively we just get to think about one thing at a time.
00:16:53
Speaker
Keep it simple. So many friends and acquaintances or total strangers come up and say, oh, man, what do you do? Right. And, you know, I i think I'm going to start some mini podcast episodes, kind of going through all the things I do, but it took 44 years to get here, right? Like across each of these different pieces and it's real time and it's changing because I learned something and I pull something else out and move in.
00:17:18
Speaker
And so, you can't just go adopt it all overnight.
Strategies for Meaningful Habit Change
00:17:22
Speaker
I mean, it's, it, what is the one thing? And I guess when you're identifying, right? Like you had your step-by-step journey, how, when you're working with clients, do you help them identify the right place to start? Right? Like you don't want perfect to be the enemy a good. I'm like, Hey, we're never going to get started because we can't find the exact right thing. But at the same time,
00:17:43
Speaker
You need something that is speaking to you enough, that's high impact enough, that it's meaningful, that's easy enough that you're able to do it. Like, how do you dial that in?
00:17:55
Speaker
I kind of take it a step back first and I make sure that the habits that the client wants to work on are on their list for the right reasons. And for the right reasons, I mean, this is right for them and they have made this decision and not because some guru told them to do it.
00:18:12
Speaker
Like, like 10,000 steps. As I understand, that's an arbitrary number. It might be right for some people, but it might not be right for others, depending on your health condition, whatever. So why is this habit on your list? Why do you want to do it?
00:18:26
Speaker
I then think about quick wins. So a quick win for me is, let's say they already have kind of a complementary habit in place.
00:18:38
Speaker
And is there an opportunity where we can like layer something maybe on the simpler side into that? That might be a quick win. So an example is, let's say they get up and they do their stretching exercises from their physio every morning, right? For mobility.
00:18:54
Speaker
But they want to start this meditation habit. I might suggest, you know, sit down on your mat after stretching and then, you know, close your eyes for a couple of minutes. Right. And like building it in that way. So going for some quick wins.
00:19:07
Speaker
On my calls with my clients, part of it is asking them, checking in. How did that go this week? How many days did you hit? If we're meeting daily, it might be like a daily sort of check-in. Helping them work through the roadblocks, right?
00:19:20
Speaker
And then again, having compassion. So when it comes to accountability, I'm not here cracking a whip, right? It's kind of like um a firm, compassionate sort of guide. So...
00:19:33
Speaker
identifying what went went wrong, working through the roadblocks because with habits, doing a bad habit or not doing a good habit, isn't like a moral a moral failure. Like we're not a bad person, just human. Right. And I think negativity is attached to this bad habits and things like that. So it's just, I don't feel people will make progress if they feel that um they will be punished.
00:20:00
Speaker
for not making progress. So yeah, looking for quick wins and this trick called habit stacking, where can we layer something in where you're already consistent with something? Cause that's a great thing to point out too. Hey, look, you're already consistent with this thing.
00:20:14
Speaker
Let's just layer on top of it. Okay, cool. That seems achievable, right? Yeah. On that. I'm curious when you're starting something. Yeah. And the motivation behind it, if you see differences in the goal orientation.
00:20:32
Speaker
Because I always talk about like the person who starts running because they want to go compete in this marathon versus the person starts running and say, I'm a healthier person. Like a healthy person runs each day and and moves their body. And so I fall in love with like getting up each morning and running.
00:20:49
Speaker
Then the day after the marathon, who's more likely to get out of bed and go run again? The person is like, hey, I hit the goal, it's kind of done. Or the person's, it's this infinite game of, hey, it's a healthy life. This is what I'm doing. So do you see a difference in that goal orientation versus a more infinite motivation?
00:21:10
Speaker
Yeah, I think a goal orientation can be dangerous in this context. Because if we're just focused on the goal, we might hit it. And then I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but like you get there and then you're like,
00:21:24
Speaker
oh What now? Well, scientifically, there's a reason for it, right? Like, because you get the dopamine spike, you had the spike. And so that's why, you know, Olympians, they get depressed a lot of times after the Olympics. My whole life was building up to this.
00:21:35
Speaker
I hit it. This is really hard. Yeah. Whereas if we're just getting up every day and running and maybe focusing around on our own personal best, that's the infinite game.
00:21:49
Speaker
Right. Because it's not it can be happening even if everyone else went away and it's not dependent on a goal. It's really like cliche, but it's about enjoying the journey.
00:22:00
Speaker
It makes the habit fun. It makes it sustainable. It makes it something that you can just continue to do and do and do because it's not attached to a goal at a certain time point. The other thing I wanted to get your take on is This distinction, if there is one, and the way you go about it between building new habits and stopping old habits that you're saying, hey, these do not serve me. I need to stop these things. you know like Every afternoon at 2.30, I go and get a big cookie from the bakery downstairs or something like this is not serving me. I need to do something. Is there a difference there in how you go about it?
00:22:38
Speaker
Sometimes it might feel hard to track the not doing of something. And like tracking is a really great way to put a new habit into place. You've read Atomic Habits by James Clear. I'm going to say whoever, if anyone's listening who hasn't read it yet, I would say pick it up and read it as a good starting point for this work.
00:22:57
Speaker
But don't just read it. Try many experiments. Because in there, you're going to get frameworks where you can use this framework to put a habit into place, but you can use the reverse.
00:23:08
Speaker
to take a bad habit away. So one of the examples is make it obvious. So a cue. So I like to leave my gratitude journal on the nightstand behind beside the bed so that every time I see it, oh, it's time to do my gratitude practice.
00:23:25
Speaker
Right. So that's obvious. But what's the opposite? it would be making it invisible or hiding it. So putting it out of sight, right? So it's just kind of like always look for the opposite. Like if you're, kind got my head around how to put a good habit into place.
00:23:42
Speaker
How would I reverse that out? So again, the next one might be making something easy. Okay, so the cookie. Instead of the cookie, I'm going to put a big fruit fruit bowl on my desk.
00:23:56
Speaker
So I'm going to make it easy to choose the fruit because the fruit is here rather than me having to go downstairs for the cookie. So that's making something easy. um What about making something difficult?
00:24:09
Speaker
When I wanted to quit cigarettes, I experimented with one of those kitchen lock safes. but making it really freaking hard unless I threw that thing out the balcony onto the street below, right? And it cracked open. So that's a way to make something difficult is like preventing access to it.
00:24:27
Speaker
And it doesn't have to be as extreme. I mean, again, there've been studies, just families that have cereal on the countertop versus a fruit bowl and the health of the family. Just in, I know in my own experience, right?
00:24:41
Speaker
It's the most extreme is I just don't have the unhealthy food in the house. Cause I know when I'm tired, if it's been a rough day, like I would go eat a box of cereal by myself, right? Like some sugary, terrible thing.
00:24:52
Speaker
But if it's not there, I can't do it. And sometimes I still want to treat myself and I'm not going to eat the whole box when I do a little treat. But if I leave it on the counter, then each day you can be sure I'm having a bowl of cereal. But if I go put it in the back of the cabinet behind these other things, typically I don't do it unless it's like, okay, like it's a weekend, I'll get a little bowl of
Habits vs Rituals and Unique Approaches
00:25:09
Speaker
cereal.
00:25:09
Speaker
So I can see how that works in practice. Yeah. Okay. Now I'm just curious what your favorite cereal is. what's What's your, like, what's your guilty pleasure cereal? I must know. In the old days, yeah like I love some frosted mini wheats, but what I really, really like is mixing.
00:25:25
Speaker
So I would take like life cereal and raisin bran crunch and do like a half and half. So you get some crunch to it or some raisin and frosted mini wheats or the fruit filled mini wheats. And I'll mix them other. I like the combo cereals.
00:25:41
Speaker
Yeah. It's a party mix. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. So I think those are probably some ideas. Well, I was going to ask kind of, cause we've, we've touched on habits a lot, right? And that's kind of the, the mindless moving.
00:25:57
Speaker
How do you think about habits versus maybe rituals or or something that you talk about your morning stretching that maybe that's a habit or maybe that's a ritual. You're like, Hey, this is how I start my day. It's, it's not quite as mindless. I still think about it going in. Is there a distinction you see there?
00:26:16
Speaker
That is a really cool question. I've never been asked that. um Just like my personal take on it is a ritual might have some more meaning, a deeper meaning attached to it.
00:26:27
Speaker
That's where my mind goes with it first. I tend to associate rituals maybe with some of our more spiritual practices or like energetic practices.
00:26:39
Speaker
Creating rituals around habits is an interesting way to get them to stick. I'm thinking of some examples. For example, you might have a really lovely scented candle and you might light that candle and get that candle going before you sit down to write your morning pages, your journaling.
00:27:00
Speaker
And now every time you light that candle, that smell reminds you of journaling. So it's kind of like creating that ritual helps you embed the habit. Now, I think that's with using your senses. There might be that sort of idea around it.
00:27:16
Speaker
um So I think it might be creating some sort of supporting habits around the habit, making it, attaching some sort of meaning to it. And If that is what makes it sticky for you, then try it.
00:27:31
Speaker
Yeah, we had a ah prior guest, Julie Gibson Clark. So she's a single mom. She ended up top of the longevity leader leaderboard. So you have like Brian Johnson spending $2 million dollars a year it. And she beat him and she's spending like $70 a month and doing on the side, working full-time job.
00:27:47
Speaker
And one of the things she talked about with that was when she was trying to build the habit or whatever of going to the gym, she bought this really fancy shampoo and conditioner. but she was only allowed to use it at the shower at the gym.
00:27:58
Speaker
And so it was, it was really kind of this reward, but again, tied to the senses of feel the smell, there is something i imagine to that. Okay. So let's talk about neurodivergence in this. Okay. So like oftentimes for a neurotypical person, we might say you get to use that shampoo once you've done the routine, but for a neurodivergent person,
00:28:19
Speaker
I often suggest that my clients go buy themselves the cute little fancy drink and then sit down to do the work because it's that's actually the motivation to do the thing. So I point that out because this isn't necessarily a one size fits all sort of thing, depending on how your brain works.
Framework for Effective Habit Building
00:28:37
Speaker
So it can be an experiment. Right. Like you might. Find out that getting that cute little fruity drink is what gives you the motivation to type out that email you were procrastinating on or whatever it is.
00:28:52
Speaker
You can build the associations. They don't have to follow. Yeah. Right. But experiment. so just because a trick or a tool doesn't work for you doesn't mean we throw the whole habit up window. No, there's plenty of things we can try. and once we land on something, stick with it until it stops working. And if it stops working, you find something new to help you in that process.
00:29:13
Speaker
Yeah. Just as we try to land the plane here, because this is, again, like I said, ah to me, this is more of a meta episode in that we think about what we're trying to do in our life and then how do we actually go do it, right?
00:29:25
Speaker
In that for someone listening says, I get it. Like I kind of see this playbook. I can see how I'd want to go do it. I still am looking at this menu of things that I want to tackle, either stop or start.
00:29:40
Speaker
do you have any practical tactical suggestion for how they call that list and say, okay, let's let's get one and start going. Let's talk about a framework, which is essentially anchor stack track, share support.
00:29:57
Speaker
You do these enough. You'll remember them. So anchoring the habit in a specific time and place is probably one of the most powerful things you can do. So if you're trying to build a daily reading habit,
00:30:10
Speaker
You'll want it to be at the same time every day, but also in the same location. So maybe it's your favorite reading chair. Again, it's that association with that same time and place. Now, you don't want it to be the same chair you like chill and watch TV in because once you sit into that chair, then you're going to like, hu great, relaxed, right?
00:30:28
Speaker
So try to anchor your new habit to a specific time and place where you can. I like to use a worksheet and an activity with my clients, which is an implementation intention, which is a really fancy way of saying when X happens, I will do Y in this location and at this time, right? So getting specific.
00:30:49
Speaker
um One of the challenges with habits is too vague, not clear. if We think about something specific. It might be, I will take my omega-3 supplement at 7 a.m. m after my morning coffee in the kitchen.
00:31:02
Speaker
Like that's super specific. More specific we can get, the better. um It removes any sort of ambiguity and like wishy-washiness over the habit. And then I already talked about habit stacking. So find something you are consistent with and like layer something new on top of it.
00:31:20
Speaker
piggybacking sort of thing. One that is pretty straightforward is a habit tracker. It might be something small, but what I've seen be really effective is a huge thing that people put up on their wall.
00:31:32
Speaker
but Because then you have it like front and center where you get to check off every day or check off when you don't do the habit, right? That sort of thing. Or an app, you can track in an app.
00:31:43
Speaker
And then one that I love is sharing. So public accountability. When I wanted to get consistent with my strength training, I was sharing my workouts to my personal Instagram stories. And like,
00:31:55
Speaker
You can leverage your ego and your pride for good. This is like one circumstance where you really can. Like once I started it, I was like, I got to keep showing up here or else people are going to think I fell off my workout regimen. Right. So like having that external accountability has such has been such a powerful tool. It is not for the brave, like the faint of heart, but it is super, super powerful. And then some kind of support.
00:32:19
Speaker
So maybe you have a friend who also wants to get consistent with something. Create a buddy system, a partnership. When I was trying to get consistent with meditation, I struck up a partnership with my friend Leah. And every day after we did our meditation, we just sent each other a quick text like meditation check.
00:32:38
Speaker
This went on for months. But if she missed a day or I missed a day it wasn't like we were calling each other out. Right. But it really helped us get consistent. So you don't necessarily need to hire a coach.
00:32:52
Speaker
You could have it just be ah your partner or a friend or maybe a co-worker or something like that. So that's the way to look at it. Anchor, stack, track, share and then support. If you can kind of remember those things, that might be a good framework to start with.
00:33:09
Speaker
That's fantastic. Yeah, Murray, I mean, i it's clear you've changed not only your own life, but obviously all the ones you touch. And then by touching the lives of coaches and touching the lives the people they then touch as well. So thank you for your work. Thank you for your time today. I think This is really a helpful episode for people who've been listening and heard different things that they may want want to adapt. And this gives more of a playbook of how do I now go do that? So I really encourage people to listen and take notes on this one because I think it's one of those that applies across so many different areas.
00:33:42
Speaker
Thank you so much for inviting me to come here and talk about this today. As you can tell, like habits is one of my favorite things to talk about. So more than happy to have this conversation with you. And I'd love to do it again where we can get into the weeds a bit more.
00:33:57
Speaker
Thank you for joining us on today's episode of the Home of Healthspan podcast. And remember, you can always find the products, practices, and routines mentioned by today's guests, as well as many other healthspan role models on Alively.com.
00:34:10
Speaker
Enjoy a lively day.