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Why You Need Work-Life Balance with Michael Chernow - E58
23 Plays1 month ago
It’s easy to chase success at work and end up paying for it with your happiness, health, or family connection.
Building a truly balanced life - one that doesn’t sacrifice your own wellbeing or time with your kids for achievements - can feel almost impossible, especially when you’re wired to go all in.
This episode unpacks what it really takes to craft a work-life balance that lasts, including the tough lessons, regrets, and daily practices of someone who learned the hard way.
Michael Chernow is an entrepreneur, podcast host, coach, and founder of Kreatures of Habit, a wellness brand focused on bringing functional nutrition to daily routines. Known for his dedication to consistency and habit-forming protocols, Chernow has successfully built and exited two businesses while also hosting men's retreats centered on mental health and self-discovery. Drawing from over 20 years in recovery and a lifelong commitment to self-improvement, Chernow’s client and community base includes dedicated health enthusiasts and seekers of personal growth. His products and perspectives are widely recognized among wellness leaders and the broader fitness community.
“My life was fully encompassed by my work. And I can also say that I was not happy.” - Michael Chernow
In this episode you will learn:
- Why Michael prioritizes creating intentional environments for personal growth and how group experiences can amplify vulnerability and connection, especially among men.
- The significant health benefits of social connection for longevity and well-being, and the dangers of social isolation for both mental and physical health.
- The importance of routines and consistent daily habits - such as morning practices, sleep schedules, and movement -in building confidence, courage, and lasting change.
- Michael’s approach to work-life balance as an entrepreneur and father, and how clear boundaries and self-care foster both happiness and sustainable success.
- Practical steps to make health and mindset changes stick, including asking for help, committing to small daily actions, and stacking “wins” rather than relying on single big epiphanies.
- How taking control of simple, repeatable behaviors—like setting a go-to-bed alarm or starting your day with gratitude—can profoundly impact your mood, productivity, and overall healthspan.
Resources
- Connect with Michael on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelchernow
- Find out about Michael’s oatmeal brand at Kreatures of Habit: https://kreaturesofhabit.com/
- Listen to his podcast, Kreatures Of Habit Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/55aRcnBD5UoOgxTYUwtUVL
This podcast was produced by the team at Zapods Podcast Agency:
Find the products, practices, and routines discussed on the Alively website:
Recommended
Transcript
The Journey from Wanting to Achieving
00:00:00
Speaker
There's only one way to get from want to have, and that's to do. Well, how do I do it? Start asking for help. You know what I mean? If you don't know enough about something and you want to know more about it so that you can potentially create one of your own, the best place to start is to ask for help.
Profiling Health and Wellness Role Models
00:00:19
Speaker
This is the Home of Healthspan podcast, where we profile health and wellness role models, sharing their stories and the tools, practices, and routines they use to live a lively life.
Introducing Michael: The Multifaceted Seeker
00:00:32
Speaker
Michael, it is a real pleasure to have you on the show today. have been following you for quite a while. Love your podcast. Love so many things you do. But before we jump into all those things you do, how would you describe yourself?
00:00:48
Speaker
I think at the core, I'm ah lively
00:00:58
Speaker
seeker. Okay. I'm a seeker. I am an entrepreneur. I'm a father. I'm a husband. I'm a podcast host.
00:01:09
Speaker
I'm a coach. I'm an athlete. i So, you know, there's a lot of things, a lot of areas that I like to, you know, hunt in. um But I think ultimately, at the end of the day, what it really all boils down to is that I am just a ferocious seeker.
00:01:26
Speaker
I love to I'm I live for the hunt. I live for I'm a curiosity discovery junkie. And, you know, i've I've chosen a life of better.
00:01:36
Speaker
And so anything that points in that direction, I'm i'm very interested in.
Organizing a Men's Retreat for Self-Discovery
00:01:44
Speaker
I love that way of putting it because I think we default to listing some of those things you did afterwards, which are things that we do or roles we play at times.
00:01:53
Speaker
ah But who we are... I'm a seeker....is a different thing. Yeah, and that kind of permeates everything else. Yeah, that's that's really... No one's ever put it like that. So i that's gotten me thinking.
00:02:04
Speaker
Yeah, amazing. And as you seek, right, it's taken you down different paths in your life and have built the life that you now have. Before we jumped on, you were just referencing last week, this retreat you put together.
00:02:20
Speaker
And as we discussed that, can you can you talk about kind of what you saw the need being, why you put this together, and then how it came came together?
00:02:30
Speaker
I am constantly on the prowl for guidance. And i have found over time that some of the most powerful guidance I've gotten has been really in in settings.
00:02:51
Speaker
So it's not necessarily the the the mentor or ah the teacher. It's more purposefully finding myself or purposely looking for certain settings that give people an opportunity to ah open doors.
00:03:13
Speaker
And that's kind of how, like I've kind of seen it that way. And so I wanted to create ah setting for men specifically, it's June, so it's it's men's mental health month.
00:03:28
Speaker
And I wanted to to create an environment and a setting for men to come together and feel no friction in coming closer to the truth.
00:03:42
Speaker
And so i worked with a ah ah crew of of of guys that I have used in my healing process over the the last few years, specifically my breath coach, Michael Gazzo, who has really helped me unearth some necessary deep-seated resources deepseated limiting beliefs that I've had ah for myself.
00:04:15
Speaker
He's really helped me sort of dig those up and and and begin to see clearly what those things are all about. And it's been profound for me.
00:04:26
Speaker
And so I said, my gosh, like I've been I've been in and out of therapy. I've done a lot of work on my stuff on myself over the last 20 years through the 12 steps. And, you know, there's no shortage of work I've done to sort of become, you know, to just continue to seek.
00:04:44
Speaker
get more comfortable with who I am and, and, and get closer to actually who I am I just, the breath work has been and like incredibly powerful for me.
00:04:55
Speaker
So I reached out to Mike about three, four months ago. And I said, Hey man, like my, my wife and kids are going to be away in June in Europe for a couple of weeks.
00:05:09
Speaker
And I really think it would be incredible to put together a retreat for men to be able to experience the breath because the breath has been so profound for me.
00:05:20
Speaker
And I feel like I have a ah large enough community that we'd be able to get, you know, 15, 20, 25 guys want to opt in for something like this.
Creating Intentional Spaces for Emotional Release
00:05:30
Speaker
For me, it is the greatest service I can i can offer.
00:05:35
Speaker
you know ah Understanding who we are is so difficult. you know If you really kind of like close your eyes and spend some time alone and say, who are who am i really? It's not an easy question to answer.
00:05:51
Speaker
And i think with the breath, it's gotten me way closer to understanding that because I think once you understand who you are, purpose is, you know, inevitable as the next sort of evolution of that question. yeah.
00:06:10
Speaker
I proposed it to Mike and he immediately was like, you know, it's so interesting that you asked that question because I've been sitting with my counsel. he he He has a group of men that he works with in a number of different sort of healing modalities that they all kind of live very close together, close to each other.
00:06:28
Speaker
And he said, we've all been talking about doing this. And I said, well, my property is ripe and ready. So let's get to work. And we immediately stepped into action. And it's rained every single weekend in upstate New York, which is where I live, every single weekend since Thanksgiving.
00:06:46
Speaker
And I knew, and and and the weekend before and this weekend will rain. I knew that there was a good chance of rain. But I'm telling you, I prayed every day.
00:06:59
Speaker
i mean, I pray every day, but I really did ask God for for son And when I'm telling you that there was not a drop of rain and it was 75 and sunny every day and 62 and cool in the evening and all four days of the event, all four days, you know, men showed up here and we're ready to work.
00:07:21
Speaker
We're ready to just rip off the armor, tear down the walls. And you know what's interesting is when you set up an environment, like that's what I you know i kind of kicked this thing off with, you know I really do believe that environment is the guide.
00:07:37
Speaker
you know And so i was very, very intentional about how this environment was created. There were a number of different communal areas.
00:07:49
Speaker
would, you know, on my property, there was a breathwork area around the pool. There was a big fire circle with 30 chairs around this big fire pit. It was the, the sort of big glamping tent area that were all strategically placed so that men can sort of look at, you know, see each other and sit around. And people got here on Thursday at around noon and we kind of went right into it and,
00:08:15
Speaker
it was an immediate release of emotion from almost every guy there. Like, just like started talking and then poof, it just started to fall.
00:08:26
Speaker
Can I ask on that? We talked about setting and then you have your coach and you have the the things that you're doing. And I guess my question, because you had this group of 30 people, How important or not was it to have it as a group, to to be sharing this?
00:08:43
Speaker
Because it sounded like a lot of yours was you working with this coach, your breath coach. And that was your experience. But you saw it as important, ah guess, one, to to share that with more people, but two, to have them do it together, not just as a one-to-one, but is there a separate additive benefit in this group setting?
00:09:03
Speaker
Yeah. I think the group setting is massively powerful, you know, because it's one thing to have a one-on-one. Now, I think one-on-one is also great.
00:09:16
Speaker
I do. But, you know, it's one thing to be vulnerable with a coach, a therapist, a dear friend. It's another thing to be vulnerable amongst 29 other people.
00:09:32
Speaker
And then once that vulnerability is exposed, having ah good portion of that group of people identify with your vulnerability and, you know, potential issue or concern, problem, roadblock, hurdle.
Impact of Social Isolation on Health
00:09:53
Speaker
So immediately this group of men locked in. Immediately. And there was and it felt like, you know, we had taught, you know, we kick around this word brotherhood, right? Brotherhood is is a word kind of like kicked around like authenticity. And, you know, like know it's kicked around a lot, you know, and um I made it very clear.
00:10:19
Speaker
when we started this process with these guys that, that the, the, the word brotherhood is going to be used here, but because we're using that word and I am ah I am a believer in doing what you say you're going to do. I'm going to expect everybody to follow through with this brotherhood.
00:10:38
Speaker
And I think the guys that were there wanted that needed that felt that experience that and are fulfilling that. I mean, that's a really critical point in that.
00:10:49
Speaker
In health, right so many people get the the fitness, nutrition, and the mindset, the sleep part. rate And I think more people are realizing, and I think our audience is aware, if you're socially isolated, you're you're feeling lonely, it's the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day. but like it It has just as measurable an impact on your health as being obese, as being an alcoholic.
00:11:12
Speaker
And not just with COVID, we were losing this before. And how I think a lot of men... for generations have been raised is, to be stoic and not in the the positive way, right? Like I wrote a book on stoicism and and like the mindset and the important part there, but there's a separate stoic of you just don't feel anything and you don't share anything and you don't engage and you go behind your walls and that's for women, like that's for other people and not for all us.
00:11:39
Speaker
If you're okay with it, you you talked about is immediately these walls came down, this started breaking through, right? And I have seen so many times people read a book, they go to an event and oh my God, I have this epiphany. Everything's great.
00:11:56
Speaker
And then two weeks later, a month later, it's different. Now your company is literally creatures of habit, right? Like your whole point, your whole approach is no, it's not the single epiphany. It's what we do in stack on that day to day and consistently that leads to this life that I've desire that I've built, that I am pursuing, that I am seeking over time.
Commitment to Ongoing Community Support
00:12:19
Speaker
So I'm curious with this group of 30 men, you had these amazing four days. What does the follow-up look like there for them to to really change their life ongoing?
00:12:33
Speaker
We all committed. So we all committed to this brotherhood. We are we've all committed to a monthly call going forward.
00:12:44
Speaker
We've all committed to to immediately agree to, you know, with with the proper notice um to to future retreats.
00:12:55
Speaker
you know I don't even know that I'm going to be able to promote this retreat to more men because I don't think i can i don't think the group should be any larger than 30, quite frankly. And all these guys had such a profound experience that everybody has committed to the next one, which will probably be in the fall.
00:13:11
Speaker
We created a ah WhatsApp group. And you know at first I was like, oh man, like... you know, like 30 guys in a WhatsApp group is it's just going to be super distracting if everybody's active.
00:13:27
Speaker
And the fact is everybody's active. And not only is it not distracting, it's encouraging. It's only been a week. Right. But all I could say is that these experiences are not going to change your life.
00:13:46
Speaker
Right. Like anybody who who thinks that they're going to go to something or read a book or experience something for a short period of time and that thing is going to change their life.
00:14:00
Speaker
How many times have you read a self-help book where in the beginning, the preface, the forward is this book could change your life, right? Like, that that like whenever I see that, I'm just like, man, I wish they wouldn't have said that.
00:14:15
Speaker
This is what these things do. We all have knobs, right? We all have little knobs and experiencing things like this, just turn the self-awareness knob up a bit.
00:14:34
Speaker
Like for me, if I can have heightened awareness from an experience that I'm actually tuned into, that that's all I'm expecting. I just want that volume to turn up a little bit on the,
True Presence through Nature and Disconnecting
00:14:51
Speaker
on the awareness component, because the more aware we are, the less distracted we are and the less, the the less we'll fall back into a pattern, right? It's all about patterns. You know I'm saying? Like,
00:15:05
Speaker
very easy to just pick right back up in that pattern, you know, but if you turn the volume up, you do enough of these things, you read enough of the books, you invest in coaching, you invest in, in, in, in a men's group, you invest in things like this.
00:15:18
Speaker
It just turns the volume up a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more. So I don't think that this, that this men's group is going to change anybody's life.
00:15:29
Speaker
I do think that, The more we play with those knobs and turn the volume up on those knobs, just a better chance we have for a more coherent existence. You know, what I learned about this event for me, what was very apparent for me was that I didn't make any rules. I didn't say to the guys, hey, guys, no phones, no phones.
00:15:55
Speaker
Or I didn't say, hey, check your phone in the morning, check your phone in the evening. Nobody was on their phones. Nobody was caught, you know, sitting and just getting lost in.
00:16:07
Speaker
no one scrolled. No one posted social media. I caught myself on the third day after two intense days, I caught myself because we were, we every single day we had a big circle where we would all share and there was no time gap, or there was no time you know cap on the sharing. It was just like, get up and just talk.
00:16:32
Speaker
And some of these circles were four hours, right? And and I was just so engaged. And I caught myself on the third day. I remember sitting there saying, wow, this is what it feels like to truly be present.
00:16:52
Speaker
This is what it feels like to be present. I am listening to every word. i am not thinking about my business. I am not thinking about my fitness. I am not thinking about my wife and kids. I am in on this. Focused.
00:17:06
Speaker
Focused. Like it was wonderful. I will say another thing, you know, and and then ah ah another thing that I took from this experience is that and and this is like kind of, you know, not news, but.
00:17:23
Speaker
We all spend way too much time inside. I'm not um I'm not talking about men here. I'm talking about humans. We all spend way too much time inside.
00:17:34
Speaker
We all. Don't. don't spend enough time barefoot in the dirt, it felt so grounding and so fulfilling to just be barefoot in the grass, in the dirt, in the pond, just in the sun all day long, not going inside, being outside and experiencing and being in nature with, you know, with
Balancing Work and Play
00:18:00
Speaker
other people. Like, you know, I chose to, you know, typically,
00:18:07
Speaker
I will gravitate towards work in my life. And what this experience sort of polarized for me was that like, maybe sometimes I need to choose play a little bit more, you know, like, what is it all for?
00:18:28
Speaker
What is it all for? Is all the work there? It's, for a financial outcome? Is it because I truly love the work that I do and it is fulfilling and, you know, and it is of service like there, it for me, I think it's a culmination, but I know for sure that I spend way too much time inside and and the bottoms of my feet are never dirty enough.
00:19:00
Speaker
And i need like the the name of this retreat, we called it Return to Self. and And that was the name that we came up with before the retreat happened.
00:19:12
Speaker
But it really made sense once the retreat was over. Well, it makes sense. I mean, there is nothing more human than being with other humans in nature. right The whole concept of inside is in the long arc of human history, a new one.
00:19:29
Speaker
There was no inside. There was no outside inside. There was just we were there. We didn't have shoes. were and We were not surviving against these large predators unless we were in groups. So that was our entire human existence for 90% human history and maybe more. And we've gotten further, you know, as we get more and more urbanized, you're in upstate New York, but getting in the dirt barefoot isn't always that easy with everything with sidewalks and asphalt and everything. A lot of people don't have easy access to big areas of earth that they can truly ground and get in.
00:20:05
Speaker
I'm curious in something like this, right? You talked about work and you gravitate towards work. Your company's creatures of habit. You have your morning routines, right? Like you have, here's how I stack a day. Here's how I show up as my best self.
00:20:20
Speaker
And I, in the past month or two, have have sat meditating in the morning and just been overwhelmed with what is all this for? Right. Like I, I have my own morning routine and the fitness and the nutrition and everything that goes in What is it for?
00:20:37
Speaker
ah Is it this super isolating thing? What is the end goal with all of this? And I guess to show for me, this may be way too ah existential, but I'm curious. I mean, you just gone through this with this group.
00:20:51
Speaker
There's something of showing up as a father, as a business owner, as a friend, as a person as in this retreat that you were able to do it because of your consistency over these other days, doing these things that you know stack to the the best possible day and best possible you.
00:21:08
Speaker
And then there's also this freedom side to step away from that at times. And as you're struggling with this or thinking about it of, hey, am I, is this the right answer or do I need more time on this? Like, what does that balance look like? Is it this 80-20? Is it, hey, every quarter I need this kind of four-day retreat. I'm not getting enough. Or is it, hey, I'm going to rethink what that daily stack looks like because i had built it around missing all of these components. How are you thinking about that now?
00:21:40
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's a great question. So balance has been a topic of conversation for me for the last while. I was actually on a podcast yesterday and the first question of the podcast was, ah is there anything that you believe to be true about business that most people would disagree with?
00:21:58
Speaker
And my answer to that question was simple. Yes. Balance. Balance. You know, if you listen to guys like Cormozy, you know, maybe Gary V back in the day, um some of these like hard charging, super influential people.
00:22:18
Speaker
We were sort of cultivated to believe that, like, it's all or nothing to be a successful entrepreneur. There is no work life balance. And, you know, I could I could honestly say in the first probably five, six years of my entrepreneurial journey, there was no balance. I was fully, you know, my life was fully encompassed by my work.
00:22:46
Speaker
And i can also say that I was not happy. I just was not happy. I mean, I was successful. i had built two businesses that I had successfully exited from, but I missed the first two years of my first son's life for sure.
00:23:04
Speaker
I, that is the, not the only regret I have in my life. The only regret I was not around for the first two years of Finley's life in the way that I want, that I am around today.
00:23:18
Speaker
I will never get that time back. And it makes me emotional just talking about it. So, you know, I know that there is balance here and I could give a flying shit if an investor of mine is listening to this and says, oh, man, you know, maybe it wasn't the but greatest decision to invest in this guy.
00:23:40
Speaker
I could care less. The fact of the matter is, is i have figured out a way to create the life that I not only feel successful in but also happy and balanced.
00:23:54
Speaker
I have a start time. And I have an end time every day. And that is a lot for an entrepreneur to be able to sustain and commit to. i do that.
00:24:06
Speaker
i so I have a day time where I open up my computer and I close my computer. I do not work on the weekends ever unless it is so necessary. And guess what?
00:24:18
Speaker
I don't expect my team to either. I have breakfast with my family and I have dinner with them every single night that I am in town. And um I make time for exercise and I make time for self-love, self-care work.
00:24:35
Speaker
I genuinely believe I have a balanced life. And now would creatures of habit potentially be doing would would would potentially have scaled faster if I was, you know, 14 hours a day, seven days a week?
00:24:52
Speaker
Maybe. Would we have potentially made more mistakes? Definitely, because I wouldn't have been working optimally. So I think balance is absolutely possible and and and how I live my life today. And so what i i mean am i like would it be amazing to live on a men's retreat forever?
00:25:16
Speaker
Sure. You know, that would
Redefining Masculinity: Vulnerability and Strength
00:25:18
Speaker
be great. But that's just not not not not realistic and and not what I want, quite frankly. Well, it's special because it's rare as well, right? Like there's something I would imagine to it being more special because it's not everyday.
00:25:33
Speaker
The thing is, is that I just don't want it to be rare in my life. That's, that's, that's, that's the goal, right? Like let's not make it rare. Let's make it consistent.
00:25:44
Speaker
Let's make it frequent because after that experience, and I would imagine if you asked any, any guy that showed up,
00:25:55
Speaker
You alluded to it earlier in the conversation. We tend to suppress a lot of emotion and feeling. It's right below the surface, but it's suppressed.
00:26:09
Speaker
When the guy showed up and we started talking, I mean, it was so apparent how badly those emotions, that expression needed to be released. It was immediate.
00:26:21
Speaker
Boom. Guy would start talking and then and of nowhere knows nobody, but committed to the work, knows nobody and immediately started crying. Immediate. 90% of the guys who showed up.
00:26:37
Speaker
And that just said to me, oh my God, this is it. This is what it is. We are walking with a lot of weight and Don't feel not only the confidence, but the not approval, but the permission to be vulnerable.
00:27:00
Speaker
And, you know, I might get shit for saying this on this podcast, you know, you know, look, the men and masculinity and all of that, that, that, that conversation is, is pretty hot and touchy right now.
00:27:17
Speaker
And what I'm here to say is, is that
00:27:23
Speaker
send it my way. Send it my way. Anybody who has anything that they want to you know, discuss, shoot me a DM, like send it my way because I have no problem with masculinity. i have no problem saying that I think masculinity is a great thing.
00:27:39
Speaker
um I have no problem saying that ah what we're, what the the conversation that is in the ethos right now is a different conversation. It's not about masculinity. Yeah.
00:27:51
Speaker
You know, and so there was a lot of masculine men at this retreat and those masculine men needed way. And we we provided it, you know.
00:28:03
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, it's not emasculating to return to self, right? In that if you're unable to dig there. because of fear, right? So fear for judgment from the outside, fear for what you're going to uncover, right? It's, there's something, these people weren't just hiding it from other people. We're not just hiding it.
00:28:24
Speaker
We're hiding it from ourselves. Most of time, we're not digging into it. And it's driven, not from a place of strength and all it's, it's driven from a place of fear and uncertainty. And so there's nothing more ma masculine than having the courage, right?
00:28:38
Speaker
In my opinion, like what, what, what unfolded here was an unbelievable example of what masculine and masculinity should be.
00:28:54
Speaker
and what I think a lot of the media is not disclosing. Get a bunch of strong fathers, business owners, ah creators, just tough men that are willing to be vulnerable and share.
00:29:19
Speaker
and ah communicate truth. You know, it was so powerful. um And so, yeah, so that I'm coming off of that, obviously I'm buzzing off of that, you know, that, that was just, you know, and, and, you know, again, I think also like another thing that, you know, we talked about in the beginning of the podcast, ah you know, this, this idea of morning routine and ritual and consistency and, know,
00:29:46
Speaker
Obviously, that's been a massive springboarding catalyst in my life, ah consistency and commitment habit. But I also want to make a mention or make a motion for people to to also have grace.
00:30:04
Speaker
If you feel like you need to sleep, sleep. But just know that consistency is going to create confidence.
Progression from Commitment to Courage
00:30:16
Speaker
You know, I, so I, I've been sharing this a lot because I just, I really do think it's, it's, it's, it's just a, it's just a fact for my life, right? I call it the three C's and you can apply this to anything. You can apply this to your, your self care. You can apply this to your business. You can apply this to fatherhood.
00:30:35
Speaker
I'm not only, and look, I know we're not only talking to men here, so you can apply this to parenting. You can apply, apply this to relationships, but you know Success in anything requires commitment.
00:30:46
Speaker
It just does. Anything that you want to be great at is going to require commitment. And so commitment is always the first C is the first c and and and quite frankly, the the most difficult, in my opinion, right?
00:30:59
Speaker
Staying, committing to something, doing what you say you're going to do is arguably the the the most challenging piece of life's pie and where most people Stumble, you know, committing, committing, doing what you say you're going to do.
00:31:17
Speaker
But from my experience, once you understand and learn that every human being has the ability to commit, has the discipline to do it.
00:31:29
Speaker
You can can, you know, once you learn that, once you know that like, wow, like I've done this, you know, for me, it obviously was made possible to understand this about myself through recovery.
00:31:41
Speaker
You know, in August, I will be celebrating 21 years sober. Congratulations. Thank you. So I know what it means to commit to something day in and day out.
00:31:53
Speaker
I understand that I can do that. And once I figured that out, you know, what, what commitment breeds is confidence.
00:32:05
Speaker
So that is the second C, right? And so you commit to something for long enough. All of a sudden you start feeling really good. Oh my gosh. Like I'm just, not only am I committed, but I'm getting better and better and better.
00:32:16
Speaker
Wait a second. Now I can actually like, let me commit to this thing. Oh, I can, I can commit to more than just one thing. Oh my gosh. Like now I'm, you know, and you just start feeling,
00:32:28
Speaker
fulfillment like you haven't felt before. Right. Like, and again, i learned all this in, in, in recovery. And that is the truth. Like before I got sober, I was not able to commit to anything outside of making sure I, you know, it was drunk and high all the time.
00:32:42
Speaker
Um, which is a whole and nother story, but, uh, you know, and so with, with confidence though, it's inevitable that courage is the byproduct, which is the third C. And so you commit long enough time committed, you begin to gain confidence.
00:33:04
Speaker
And with enough confidence, you start swinging. And that to me is the, you know, the, the succession ladder to accomplishing anything you want.
00:33:17
Speaker
Do you think a that order, I think, is super important and the science backs it up, right? But so many people, it seems, think it's the exact opposite. Well, I need the courage and the confidence before I'm going to commit.
00:33:29
Speaker
And so it becomes this excuse to not start doing the work. But to your point, it's the confidence and the courage comes from just doing it. It's impossible to have the courage, the right courage. Without the commitment and the confidence of experience.
00:33:43
Speaker
It's in my opinion, right? Like, well, I think the science backs you up like that. That's the whole thing. People tell themselves these stories are like, well, I can't do it because I don't have this in place. But it's you start doing it and those things get in place that that is the order of events required to write those pathways in our brains.
00:34:00
Speaker
People always ask me, OK, so what does that mean? Like, you know, I've said many, many times, you know, there's only one way to get from want to have and that's to do. And they're like, OK, well, then what do we how do I do it?
00:34:12
Speaker
And I'm like, you start asking for help. move Start asking for help. You know what mean? Like what? Like if you don't know enough about something and you want to know more about it so that you can potentially create one of your own.
00:34:25
Speaker
The best place to start is to ask for help from other people around you. Because once you start asking for help, you start getting more comfortable with that particular topic. And potentially a conversation you know that you're having is going to be the first step in. you know And so when it comes to, like you let's just use fitness, for instance, or just stepping into your wellness journey for the first time, you're like, all right, I've had enough of this shit.
00:34:54
Speaker
I'm done. I'm going to do what I say I'm going to do. I'm going, you got to ask for help, hire a coach, uh, ask a coach that, you know, if you don't have the money to hire them, Hey, can you please hook me up with some direction? Please hook me up with some guidance.
00:35:10
Speaker
Like I need a little bit of guidance here. I don't know what I'm doing and I know that I want to do it, you know? And so that is facts. There's only one way to get from want to have because anything that's given to you doesn't last.
00:35:25
Speaker
yeah Yeah, I mean, it's that short-term burst versus the ah consistent over time. You know, we've we've talked a lot about the why and the how, right, on on the mindset, on the structure, on the here here I'm going to go structure it.
00:35:42
Speaker
I guess you've been on quite a personal attorney over time. Can you touch a little bit on the what of, and I know it's, you talk about it in many other places, but just share with our listeners the what of that stack of sleep into nutrition, into fitness, like how you've packaged the what of the day to day now.
Starting the Day with Positivity and Control
00:36:10
Speaker
So I'll start off by saying,
00:36:14
Speaker
You know, today is the day.
00:36:19
Speaker
That's it. Yesterday, kaputzi's gone, forgotten, or maybe not forgotten, but should be, cannot go back in time and change, optimize, mitigate, nothing you can do.
00:36:35
Speaker
So today's the day because tomorrow, you know, chances are will happen, but not, apps not, not guaranteed. And you can't do anything today, tomorrow. You know what i'm saying? if there's, so I remember about probably eight years ago, I was listening to Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now.
00:36:57
Speaker
And there's one line in that book that really didn't change my life, but made me question my perspective, which was everything happens now.
00:37:17
Speaker
That simple line. Everything happens now. And it made me realize that that if whatever I long for, I've got to take action now because history is happening every second.
00:37:37
Speaker
Every second, every second that passes by, it's just like, whoop, whoop, whoop. And if we're not here for it now, we miss it. So I believe in this. Today's the day, every day.
00:37:51
Speaker
The second we open our eyes is when the the show starts. And you can you can take action immediately. I look at the morning. You know, i tend to to have this vision when I think about my morning.
00:38:08
Speaker
You know, you're you're staring, you're in the you're in the bleachers or, you know, in the stands looking down at i a horse race. And it's a hot, sunny day.
00:38:19
Speaker
and it's and And you're looking at those horses behind the gates. And those horses, you know, you could just see them just like ready to go. Just like... And then all of a sudden gates open up.
00:38:31
Speaker
Those horses fly out. A couple of horses get a bad start. Maybe they trip. The chances of those horses catching up. Very, very, very, very slim.
00:38:45
Speaker
Very slim. And so when I think about my day, I say, dude, just don't get a bad start. Don't get a bad start because you don't want to be trying to catch up all day long. yeah Just get just when those gates open, when those eyes open, boom, that's your time to go.
00:39:01
Speaker
Immediate. So what do you do? What are you going to do? Me? I smile. That's how I get my good start. Immediate. I open up my eyes. We all or a lot of us wake up with anxiety.
00:39:15
Speaker
For alcoholics or drug addicts that are in recovery, a lot of us wake up with untreated alcoholism. The number one way. to try to to to fight back anxiety, stress, and fear,
00:39:28
Speaker
is with a smile. It's really, really hard to be stressed out in the in the moment when you smile. So I smile first thing in the morning.
00:39:39
Speaker
It's just what I do. It's uncomfortable at times, but it's just what I do. I smile. I think i look over to my right, see my wife. I'm blessed. I think about my kids. I think about my dogs. I think about the walk that i'm going to take my dogs on in the morning.
00:39:54
Speaker
I just, boom, quick little gratitude list, you know? And I, and and then everything I do after that is kind of, it's just me getting, taking the, taking the best chance of pouring the concrete for the rest of the day. And it involves,
00:40:12
Speaker
Prayer, it involves push-ups. It involves some yoga poses. It involves skincare routine. It involves an oral care routine. It sometimes involves meditation and sauna and cold plunge.
00:40:26
Speaker
I don't do that as much as I used to do every single morning, but I do it when I want to. i don't have to do it anymore. yeah There was a couple of years where it was like... And then after time, I was like, all right, dude, you can give yourself some grace. Like you've experienced that. Fact is, is that when I do all 15 of those things in the morning, by seven o'clock, I am like,
00:40:48
Speaker
tis in so You know, so people can roll their eyes all they want and say, oh, one of those guys. I mean, yes, you do a sauna, cold plunge, meditation, affirmations, reading, writing that. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, that is me or at least was me for a period of time.
00:41:04
Speaker
And let me tell you, like, I walk back into my into my house. Yeah. When my wife and kids are just getting up and I had just done all those things. My God, like I am the best version of myself, the best, just the best.
00:41:20
Speaker
And I'm not saying that that when I don't do it, I'm i'm not showing up that way. But let me just tell you. After red light and meditation, 20 minutes in the sauna, reading some awesome literature, five minutes in the cold plunge, and then a few affirmations coming back into my house, man, like I feel like a 12 year old kid, you know?
00:41:44
Speaker
yeah So I really do take advantage of those morning hours, whether it's a long drawn out, crazy morning routine or just prayers, pushups and poses, skincare, oral care, you know, and, you know, and then, and maybe a little journaling waiting for the kids to get up. Like, I just think that you, so the way you start is going to paint a really good picture, ah really good picture of how you play And how you finish.
00:42:15
Speaker
Do you think there's anything to it with the locus of control? Right. So if if someone has an ah internal versus external locus of control, I am in control of what's happening to me, how I engage with the world versus, oh, it's all happening on top of me and I can't.
00:42:31
Speaker
And by owning that start, like, hey, it didn't matter what popped in my head, whatever, I own my smile. I own these pieces. You have already conditioned yourself to say, this day, I'm i'm the one deciding how it goes versus everything's piled on me.
00:42:47
Speaker
Without a doubt. and And I don't think it has to do with being a control freak. I think it has to do with, we control very little.
00:42:59
Speaker
Once another living being, whether it's a dog, a cat, ah chicken a chicken, human. The weather, right? it doesn't have to be a living thing. Once something comes into our periphery, we lose complete control.
00:43:16
Speaker
and if you can control the controllables, now that doesn't only have to be, you don't have to be alone, but like, I like to think about controlling the controllables is what do I consume?
00:43:27
Speaker
What do I eat? What do I drink? What do I consume? but ah What, what, where am I, where am I putting my attention? What do I consume? Consumption for many people is something that we have control over.
00:43:40
Speaker
How do i move my body? How am I moving? Am I moving? I can control that for the most part. If I'm not getting my 10,000 steps a day, like I don't feel great.
00:43:53
Speaker
That's just the facts, right? Like even like working out is something that I do. It's not like for me, luckily, like I love it. I love training, any kind of training.
00:44:05
Speaker
So I'm one of those blessed people that like genuinely are passionate about it and love it. It is never a hassle. As a matter of fact, it is, it is so much more than a hobby for me. It's something that I genuinely love to do.
00:44:18
Speaker
So, you know, and I train probably, I probably train minimum five days a week. I love to train. So I'm lucky there. Right. I know a lot of people struggle with that.
00:44:29
Speaker
Um, but that's another one where I'm controlling the controllables. Like, do I want to look good? Hell yes. I want to look good. Am I ashamed to say that? Hell no, I'm not ashamed to say that.
00:44:40
Speaker
I know that looking good and feeling good are important in my life. Maybe not for everyone, but I would argue that most people would, would, if they really had to be honest, would, would agree looking good and feeling good are important.
00:44:52
Speaker
When you look good, you feel good performance. It's just going to be better, right? Performance and everything. Performance as a father, performance as a husband. What gets back to that confidence and everything. Yeah.
00:45:03
Speaker
So I think if anybody takes something from this podcast, just know that today is the day. Today's the day. What you put into your body and how you move your body are ultimately going to dictate how you feel, how you look.
Importance of Rest for Productivity
00:45:17
Speaker
And when you, you know, these are all decisions. I think we're, Something like there's like 184,000 thoughts and decisions that we have to go through every single day as humans. They're they're everywhere. there It's constant.
00:45:33
Speaker
And, ah you know, apparently a lot of those thoughts happen to be negative. And I think a lot of the reason why is because we're not in control of most of it because a lot of it has to do with what are they thinking about me? What are they going to think about this decision?
00:45:50
Speaker
you know There's a lot of that, especially in today's day and age with the bane of human existence. The bane of human existence. This is the this is the demise of humanity.
00:46:05
Speaker
I'm just here to tell you that. It's just my opinion. How? I mean, my business is all is it circles it. So I don't hate it, but it is, in my opinion, the demise, you know. And so today's the day tomorrow, yesterday,
00:46:25
Speaker
You know, like we all have a shot every single day. And if you didn't do it yesterday, guess what? You got today. You just got today. it's It's a clean slate. You know, you just got it. And back to the power now, Eckhart Tolle, it's not just today, right? Maybe you got a bad start in the morning, but that doesn't mean you have to pull out of the race. Like it right now, maybe the best time to start would have been 7 a.m. But hey, guess what? You're here right now.
00:46:52
Speaker
any time in the past is not relevant to what you're able to do in this moment, because this is the only moment you live. You talked about your your morning routine at one point was much more robust. Now it's more flexible. You take stuff in and out.
00:47:06
Speaker
And there are certain people who could listen to this. I don't have the time. I can't do all these things. Is there something, I know my one thing from just this is like, I can tell you tomorrow morning, I'm waking up with a smile.
00:47:18
Speaker
thats That's a new thing that's going to be stacked into my day. I love it. i I can understand the science behind it. That's coming in. For others listening, is there something, whether it's around the morning, whether it's around the day, whether it's a breathwork, like where we started this, what what is one starting point you say, hey, this this is not going to hurt you. this This would be a great place to start stacking wins.
00:47:40
Speaker
Set a go-to-bed alarm. Hmm. Don't set a morning wake up alarm set and go to bed alarm. You go to bed early.
00:47:52
Speaker
Waking up is going to happen. I mean, you go to bed at nine 30. Chances are you'll wake up at five 30. Right? Like, and and most of the time, you know, you're lucky to get eight. So maybe you're waking up at four 35, right? Like,
00:48:06
Speaker
like Unless you have an early morning job where you're required to be up that early, most people start work at 9 a.m. m If you're up at 5 a.m., m you've got time.
00:48:20
Speaker
You know, people always, I think the number one pushback I get from talking about morning routine and how much time I spend in the morning is, oh yeah, like lucky you, you get all this time. And I'm like, not really. I'm actually a father of two sons that wake up at 6.30 every day and I'm there.
00:48:37
Speaker
So I sacrifice my morning time, my morning hours for me. So it's not a sacrifice. It's actually a like, like proud, grateful to be up at that time. and And how do I do it?
00:48:53
Speaker
Man, it's much harder to consistently go to bed at 9.30 than it is to consistently wake up at 5.30. So for anybody that's listening, i would just say try it for a couple of weeks.
00:49:07
Speaker
Set a go-to-bed alarm in your phone. where it's just like and And do it you know It's like pushing snooze is like the worst thing you can do in the morning. And I get good sleep and you're losing time. like all of yeah Yeah, you're just quitting. You're just quitting.
00:49:24
Speaker
you know You're giving up immediately. ah I'm going to stay in bed. So don't be a snoozer. But... Commit to a nine 30 bedtime. If you can set the alarm in your phone. And as soon as that shit goes off, what I do, i go upstairs at nine 30. I put in one air pod.
00:49:43
Speaker
i have an audio book or a podcast. I pull the blinds. I got ah you know, I keep my room cold. I closed my eyes and I'm ah um'm asleep in two minutes, man, two minutes.
00:49:53
Speaker
You know, um, I try not to drink a lot of liquid, you know, within three hours of going to bed so that I don't wake up and have to pee multiple times. And, you know, like set a go to bed alarm, you know, that is, that that will be potentially monumental in your
The Promise of Mornings
00:50:10
Speaker
life.
00:50:10
Speaker
It makes a ton of sense. It would be because those morning hours, you're more likely to do the things that you want to do versus give your time to read Hastings and Netflix or Mark Zuckerberg and Instagram or all these other where you default and like, hey, let me just give these last two hours of my day to someone else.
00:50:25
Speaker
When you wake up in the morning, you're not getting up to give it to them. You're waking up and say, hey, like this is my time. What do I want to do here? If you're not working, if you don't have like a late night job where you're working, when you really think about it, how much productivity are you making in your life post 10 p.m.?
00:50:44
Speaker
Like what actions are you taking that are bringing value, real value to your life post 10 p.m.? really If you really ask yourself that question.
00:50:56
Speaker
Now look, if you and your partner are nighttime sex people, I go for it. you know like if that that's If that's the time where you engage in that stuff, by all means.
00:51:09
Speaker
I Morning guy. So, you know, like, look, your cortisol levels at, at the highest in the morning when you wake up, uh, when you wake up after seven and a half hours of sleep with your cortisol levels high and you're ready to go, like you are just hunting, you're hunting for success.
00:51:29
Speaker
And, uh, you know, I think one of the greatest tools ever uh, the, the nine 30 bedtime, you know, when, when people ask me or when I, when aspiring entrepreneurs ask me like, what are some tools that you can offer? My first question is what time do you go to bed?
00:51:46
Speaker
And they're like, huh? And I'm like, what time do you go to bed? You know? And if they're like midnight, I'm like, what are you doing between 10 and 12? You know, like, I'm just curious.
00:51:58
Speaker
Like, Do you think you're putting out good work at 11 o'clock at night? is Do you think that that like after being up all day long and working all day long, do you think that the work you're putting out and at 1145 right before bed is like the work you're going to be proud of?
00:52:12
Speaker
That's a great one. I love it. And, you know, for people i have young kids, too, i find it easier, too, because your meals shift up potentially earlier. You're kind of on that time, right? And so I ah love the early bedtime.
Future Directions for Business Ventures and Retreats
00:52:26
Speaker
Well, Michael, this has been amazing. i Thank you for all the work over the years. this These men's retreats sound incredible. I don't know if there'll be more of those and opportunities for people who weren't in the first one to join, but...
00:52:38
Speaker
Where can people find you, follow you, learn more about if you're going to do more of these, how they can participate as well? Yeah, I mean, you could just follow along my journey. um You know, Creatures of Habit also is where i've so I focus 95% of my time.
00:52:53
Speaker
We sell a ah high protein overnight oatmeal that use as my breakfast and I have used as my breakfast for 20 plus years now. That's why I created a business around it.
00:53:04
Speaker
Interestingly, we're actually launching a crowd fund for Creatures of Habit because, you know, we hadn't raised money in a while. And somebody had said to me recently, hey, like, you've got such a great community. and And, you know, this person is a subscriber to meal one and Creature Sleep. And they were like, have you ever thought of like opening the business to the community to participate in as owners. And I was like, would like i they were like like a crowd fund.
00:53:30
Speaker
And I was like, wow, that's so interesting. I actually had not thought about that. And this person was like, you know, I know, i know a guy who's been super successful in crowdfund and it's because he built an amazing community and he brought his whole community along and took the community all the way through acquisition. And it was a very powerful thing. And so I started looking into it and I was like, oh my gosh, like what better way to grow ah business with that has a lot of, you know, sort of diehard fans than making them owners.
00:54:03
Speaker
And so, We're doing it. We're doing it. Yeah, I'm really excited about it. We're launching a crowdfund for Creatures of Habit ah mid-July.
00:54:14
Speaker
And um anybody who's interested, if they want to learn more about it, they can go to creaturesofhabit.com forward slash crowd ah to learn more about that. But, you know, I'm hoping to put thousands of people on the cap table and grow this thing in a, in like, it's just like, like ah a, a, a,
00:54:33
Speaker
But the culture you know is so important to me, the fabric. And like imagine having like all these people feeling like they're owners of the business because they will be. So yeah, we're doing that, which is very exciting. we're We're going to be launching a protein bar, which is super exciting.
00:54:49
Speaker
Protein bar is going to have creatine in it. So it'll be one of the first to market protein bars. creatine, which I think is super cool. It'll be like a gateway for people who have not stepped into the world of creatine. Creatine has been a supplement that I've used for a long time that I always recommend for people stepping into the world of of wellness just because of, you know, it's the number one most studied sports performance supplement of all time.
00:55:13
Speaker
And the studies that have been coming out over the last few years have been unbelievable of just like the different properties and benefits that creatine can have from cognitive health to Bone density and recovery and muscle development and all sorts of cool things. So we're launching that. and yeah, the return to self retreats, they will absolutely be happening, um you know, going forward, most likely on a quarterly or semi annually, semi annual basis.
00:55:43
Speaker
Um, and I'm sure that there will just be more content in my personal social media feeds about that. So I'm at Michael Chernow, like I said, everywhere on social media, I'm super grateful to be here. I'm super grateful. You, you asked me to come on the show.
00:55:57
Speaker
Thank you, Michael. Yeah. For everything. Thank you for joining us on today's episode of the home of healthspan podcast. And remember, you can always find the products, practices, and routines mentioned by today's guests, as well as many other healthspan role models on a lively.com.
00:56:12
Speaker
Enjoy a lively day.