Transcript
Speaker: I'd like to kill Lou Santini.
Speaker: Kill them all!
Speaker: Woo!
Speaker: Here's another review.
Speaker: Hey guys, what did I miss?
Speaker: Jeffrey Epstein.
Speaker: The Honor and Remember Flag is a nationally recognized symbol that sends a message of appreciation for the sacrifice made by our fallen heroes and their families.
Speaker: The flag flies at many NASCAR races around the country, and you can help honor our nation's fallen military members and remember the eternal sacrifice of their service by flying the flag, too.
Speaker: Text FLAG to 71777 or visit honorandremember.org to learn more.
Speaker: Together, we remember them all.
Speaker: Hi, pros.
Speaker: Lou Santini here, host of Amateur Nation.
Speaker: My Dry Bar Comedy Special, Amateur Nation, is now available.
Speaker: And just like this show, if you're allergic to a lack of common sense in today's world, and you like your comedy delivered with uncompromising talent like it is bite, then check out my half-hour comedy special, Amateur Nation.
Speaker: Go to drybarcomedy.com slash lou s. This is my way of saying thank you to the pros who listen to this show every week.
Speaker: DrybarComedy.com slash Lou S. Amateur Nation is not just a podcast.
Speaker: It's a movement.
Speaker: The following is a special presentation of Amateur Nation.
Speaker: Hey pros, welcome to episode 250, a special presentation of Amateur Nation.
Speaker: Earlier this year in July of 2023, I had the honor of performing at Freedom Fest in Memphis, Tennessee, a four-day convention where like-minded people who are pro-America and all its rights in the Constitution met at the Renaissance Convention Center to talk about America's freedoms and the threats against them.
Speaker: I also served on the panel entitled
Speaker: Let the Comedians Speak Freely, a discussion amongst comedians and a Q&A session from the audience regarding comedy censorship, woke audiences and comedy in general.
Speaker: On the convention floor amongst hundreds of vendors, broadcasters and podcasters was a familiar face from my time in Los Angeles, podcast host Bart Baggett, who is also a handwriting analysis expert.
Speaker: I had a great time with this interview on The Bart Show, The World's Most Interesting People.
Speaker: I'd like to share that interview with you now on this 250th episode.
Speaker: You can also see the full interview on YouTube on my channel, at Lou Santini.
Speaker: In this interview, we discuss stand-up comedy, comedy censorship, and the easily offended woke amateurs, my time performing with the late, great Bob Saget, my transition from my radio career to stand-up comedy, dating stand-up comedians, and did the host and I date the same woman?
Speaker: Performing the day after 9-11, my frustration with inanimate objects, my book, Drybar comedy special and podcast, Amateur Nation, and I have my handwriting analyzed.
Speaker: Enjoy.
Speaker: That's how I operate.
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: It's a good plan.
Speaker: Still gets done.
Speaker: You are buff, dude.
Speaker: I'm getting there.
Speaker: You know, just I feel like the heart, it's like the older I get, the smarter my workouts are getting, but I'm working against father time.
Speaker: Oh man, he's a bitch.
Speaker: He's an asshole.
Speaker: Yeah, it's like if I would just have had this knowledge when I was in my 20s, you know.
Speaker: I actually had, I played lacrosse at Pepperdine.
Speaker: Hard sport.
Speaker: It's a great sport.
Speaker: And I never could keep muscle on.
Speaker: So I was like 155 and I was mean.
Speaker: And so they're like, well, put in, bag it, you know, we're out of players.
Speaker: I wasn't 100 pounds till ninth grade.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: But luckily I had the crooked teeth and the mullet going for me.
Speaker: So, you know, I was a threat to the ladies.
Speaker: Yeah, just, yeah, I played soccer for 10 years, had a tryout with like a semi-pro team when I was younger, so I was always the fast, wiry guy.
Speaker: Wiry, because you can't get too muscular in soccer, right?
Speaker: You can't, you can't really, like I said, but it's funny how guys I would pick fights with on the field I would never consider.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because there's a referee there.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: He's like, my mom will tell you, you know, that type of thing.
Speaker: Stare you down.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: So you're a badass seventh grader.
Speaker: Yeah, that's right.
Speaker: That's right.
Speaker: That's the name of my next comedy album, badass seventh grader.
Speaker: How are you doing this show?
Speaker: How are you doing?
Speaker: We just launched about a week ago.
Speaker: Oh, is that right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So we did a lot of interviews at Freedom Fest.
Speaker: We had a lot of weird, interesting, odd people.
Speaker: We have a studio in Texas and now in L.A.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And I've just been so delighted at the level of comedians that have come on.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The smart people.
Speaker: We had politicians.
Speaker: So it's all over the page.
Speaker: I guess it's more like Joe Rogan.
Speaker: You know, at his level, he can interview anyone.
Speaker: Of course.
Speaker: It's interesting.
Speaker: But I'm not any particular agenda politically.
Speaker: So I have found that just my comedy friends are always safe.
Speaker: Because they're so much fun.
Speaker: And everything's always X-rated.
Speaker: And comedians might have a few things to say.
Speaker: You don't have to like pull answers from them, really.
Speaker: You know, I always think and I always thought this because I remember when I was before I started doing stand up way back in 1990s and I was in Texas.
Speaker: I didn't even know like, oh, you can act.
Speaker: To me, it was a far dream.
Speaker: Like I want to where did you grow up?
Speaker: Northeast Ohio, Akron, Canton, Cleveland.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So no one says you can be a celebrity.
Speaker: No one says that's even on the menu.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And so I remember seeing albums of like Robin Williams and I was like.
Speaker: like those guys are the smartest people in the world.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I feel like the, the, those individuals were the poets of the two thousands where in 1860, they actually were poetry.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And without maybe musicians write some points as well, but, but I've always found that the comedians are the cutting edge of culture.
Speaker: And that's what I aspired to be.
Speaker: Like, maybe I could be that wise.
Speaker: Was that your Mount Rushmore, Robin Williams and who else was on yours?
Speaker: George Carlin.
Speaker: He was on my Mount Rushmore.
Speaker: Still.
Speaker: He's the only guy that I've ever had.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: I've ever met in person and I had nothing to say.
Speaker: Oh, is that right?
Speaker: Yeah, I was in a Starbucks in Santa Monica.
Speaker: That would be me if I met Steve Martin.
Speaker: I would cry like... Steve Martin's one of those two.
Speaker: I would cry like those teenage girls who saw the Beatles the first time if I met Steve Martin.
Speaker: I'm never at a loss for words.
Speaker: And I'm just sitting in a Starbucks and I'm like...
Speaker: Hi.
Speaker: Also, it wasn't at a show.
Speaker: You were just out.
Speaker: No, it was just, it's unexpected.
Speaker: Now I'm even more jealous.
Speaker: No, but then he left and I just was like, uh, hi.
Speaker: Hi.
Speaker: It was like, that's it.
Speaker: You think in your head, you have all this stuff to say.
Speaker: And then when the time comes, so.
Speaker: And it's interesting because a few years later, I lived in Hollywood and I walked into this building and his star was right there in front of my building.
Speaker: And I was like, I miss my, and he died.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And he died.
Speaker: Why do people die?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: You know what's funny?
Speaker: You mentioned that.
Speaker: While I generally, of course, I feel sad if like a celebrity dies.
Speaker: I mean, death is sad.
Speaker: But when a comedian dies, it almost makes me angry in the sense that they've devoted their whole lives to making people laugh and happiness.
Speaker: And then they go and do something like die.
Speaker: Like it's almost like it's like you just betrayed everything you're all about.
Speaker: I know it sounds juvenile, but every time the comedian dies, especially if it's one I respect or even know, it really affects me more than, you know, just a regular celebrity were to pass.
Speaker: Well, the other the other thing about
Speaker: this particular art is every year they come out with something brilliant and you're never going to get that anymore.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because there's such a catalog of work that is still so good.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: You know, Bob Saget passed away a couple years ago.
Speaker: First guy I ever paid my own money to see as a comedian when I was 18.
Speaker: But everyone in Hollywood loved him.
Speaker: All the comics loved him.
Speaker: People don't know about Bob Saget.
Speaker: He's like the dirtiest comic among comedians.
Speaker: And he had the full house.
Speaker: And he was so great.
Speaker: And America's Funniest Home Videos too.
Speaker: Which is also G-rated.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Well, it's funny.
Speaker: It's like I said, I saw Bill Cosby.
Speaker: That's a whole other podcast episode right there.
Speaker: When I was seven.
Speaker: And again, when I was nine.
Speaker: But I saw Bob Saget.
Speaker: I paid my own money, took a date in high school.
Speaker: a tiny little comedy club in Canton called the Akron-Canton Comedy Club, 100-seater, sat in the front row.
Speaker: I mean, I know I talk fast.
Speaker: Saget, I mean, he's machine gun.
Speaker: And I liked him so much, I took my parents the very next night.
Speaker: Coincidentally, we got the same exact seats.
Speaker: Flash forward years later, I win the Detroit Comedy Festival.
Speaker: In addition to the prize money, I get to do a half hour before Saget in front of like 3000 people.
Speaker: So I tell Bob Saget that story.
Speaker: He remembered the shoes I was wearing because he made fun of my shoes because I had it was the late 80s.
Speaker: I had these stupid shoes, but like a rope.
Speaker: They're made a soul made out of rope or something.
Speaker: So he goes, I remember that you had those really weird.
Speaker: I'm like, how do you how do you remember that?
Speaker: And then what was funny is
Speaker: I was only supposed to do 15 at the last minute.
Speaker: They said, you know, can you do 30?
Speaker: I'm like, of course, I'll do as much time as you want.
Speaker: So Bob Saget comes into my dressing room and he says, listen, my crowd sometimes has a tendency to arrive drunk and or high.
Speaker: So he says, if you lose them and you can't hold the stage, I can make up your time.
Speaker: And I looked him in the eye and I said, oh, I'll hold the stage.
Speaker: And I crushed it, right?
Speaker: Three thousand people.
Speaker: I mean, how many chances do you get?
Speaker: I'm not leaving.
Speaker: I'm not going to take a dive.
Speaker: So they didn't have an announcer bring him on.
Speaker: They let me bring him on.
Speaker: And I got to tell the story of how he was the first guy I ever paid to see.
Speaker: And I brought him on.
Speaker: He comes out with his guitar, gives me a hug.
Speaker: And he whispers in my ear, goes, thank you for making my job so much easier.
Speaker: And that was it.
Speaker: And then, like I said, he passed five or six years later.
Speaker: It's pretty sad about that.
Speaker: We didn't introduce you.
Speaker: Oh, that's okay.
Speaker: Lou Santini.
Speaker: Now, you're a comedian.
Speaker: Comedian, 26 years and counting.
Speaker: That's a hell of a resume.
Speaker: And is that 26 years primarily, like every week going out 26 years?
Speaker: Oh yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, 24 of those years was in Los Angeles.
Speaker: I mean, you and I had that in common.
Speaker: That's amazing.
Speaker: Yeah, because you know, a lot of comedians, including me, like, yeah, we've been doing it 20 years.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But there was five years where I didn't do it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Or they go up once every five, six months.
Speaker: Yeah, it's hardly counts because you can tell, we can tell if someone's seasoned or not within about 10 seconds.
Speaker: Oh, of course.
Speaker: And some people, there's so many open mics, which I think is great, by the way.
Speaker: Currently, as we record this, there's four or five open mic places in LA.
Speaker: There's always time to get your reps in, even in other parts.
Speaker: But back in the 2000s in 1990, there was not open clubs and that's it.
Speaker: If you didn't have an in and book or so.
Speaker: So that was my challenge in 2005 was trying to find stage time to get better and to find my voice.
Speaker: You did that 10 years earlier, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I started.
Speaker: Well, I said my bread and butter started in radio for 11 years in Northeast Ohio.
Speaker: That was full time, six days a week.
Speaker: And while I wasn't doing, for lack of a better word, pure standup comedy, when you're in radio, you do a lot of personal appearances, a lot of heavy metal clubs, a lot of bars, a lot of lounges, a lot of ribbon cuttings, the new Burger King opened, you know, whatever.
Speaker: And you know, you get a chance to, I really realized some things that were funny in person,
Speaker: didn't necessarily translate to radio.
Speaker: Like I'd say something funny at a personal appearance and I'm thinking, I gotta use that because I get to laugh.
Speaker: Go do it on the radio.
Speaker: I'm like, I mean, that didn't work.
Speaker: Because you don't have that immediate feedback.
Speaker: You don't see the audience clap or laugh or whatever.
Speaker: And other times I'd say something funny on the radio
Speaker: Someone would call in, that was hilarious.
Speaker: I'm thinking, I'm going to use that in a personal appearance.
Speaker: Then you do it live, you're like, oh, it only worked because it was on the radio.
Speaker: So I really learned that in terms of timing.
Speaker: So while I said funny things at personal appearances, once I got out of radio, I was able to fully concentrate on that.
Speaker: And I moved from Northeast Ohio, Cleveland to Los Angeles.
Speaker: So I started there in 97.
Speaker: Yeah, I had a similar experience.
Speaker: I don't know if you know, I wrote books on handwriting analysis when I was 22, 23 years old.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: And I started doing like Jay Thomas, one of six, my first big, big radio show.
Speaker: Oh, sure.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: That guy.
Speaker: Yo, absolutely.
Speaker: Cheers.
Speaker: He was a professional.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He actually taught me.
Speaker: He goes, here's what I do.
Speaker: I stand the entire six hours in the morning.
Speaker: I'd never sit down because your energy is better.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I always stood when I was on the radio, but that was a great tip.
Speaker: I was 19 years old.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So every interview I did from home with my headset, I would just pace around the room.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'd have this great energy.
Speaker: And then they got back and back.
Speaker: So I did, I don't know if you know this, I did 1,500 interviews.
Speaker: Oh, wow.
Speaker: Promoting books and stuff.
Speaker: So I got really good on radio, which is what you did.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then I thought, well, this will translate easily to stand-up.
Speaker: It did not.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: I've interviewed over 300 rock stars, musicians, other celebrities.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah, this will be great.
Speaker: I could be in an interview.
Speaker: I've been interviewed a million times, working the road.
Speaker: But you're right.
Speaker: You would think, oh, this will work.
Speaker: It doesn't.
Speaker: The one-on-one and asking someone questions is not the same as doing pure stand-up.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And when you're on one on one radio or if you're hosting your own show, you have no feedback.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: So you just have to guess.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And what I realized that I was doing, which is the reason I went back to Howard Stern twice and all the big morning shows, is I had figured out what jokes kind of work regularly.
Speaker: And I got, because if you're with a radio show like Bubba the Love Sponge, there's six or seven people in the room.
Speaker: And they all laugh.
Speaker: You can bounce things off.
Speaker: And it's so easy.
Speaker: And you're like, okay, that worked there.
Speaker: So if I'm doing that in Ohio, I know this is going to work.
Speaker: And it did.
Speaker: I mean, I got back over and over.
Speaker: And so that's what gave me this confidence of like, oh, I've always been doing comedy since I was 19, but I didn't start stand up until I was 33.
Speaker: You're doing handwriting analysis at what age?
Speaker: 19.
Speaker: Well, I mean, by the time I got my first radio show, I was 19.
Speaker: okay i just i just picture you like forging your parents signatures on like report cards and things like when you're a kid like oh i got this dialed in my father goes listen man i'm really busy i travel a lot if you just sign my is that right this was like this is like fifth grade if you just sign my name that you went to the doctor i will never have to bother because they'll just have that one signature wow so i remember thinking like how did i sign it last time so it was left right it was right like it had to be
Speaker: How do you even know you have that talent?
Speaker: I mean, how do you know what I'm really good at?
Speaker: How do you know?
Speaker: Well, I didn't.
Speaker: I'm not a professional forger.
Speaker: Let's go back on the story.
Speaker: No, I understand.
Speaker: You're not the guy from Catch Me If You Can, that guy?
Speaker: At fifth grade, I was a really good forger.
Speaker: I actually saw that guy speak.
Speaker: He's like FBI, super, super interesting guy.
Speaker: No, I took classes at 14 and 15.
Speaker: My father took classes and I became sort of the handwriting guy.
Speaker: So all my friends are like, oh, do that trick, do that trick, you do handwriting.
Speaker: So I didn't know if it was authentic.
Speaker: It was bullshit.
Speaker: I wasn't sure.
Speaker: But as I got older, I realized, well, there's a little science behind this and there's some people great at it, some people not great at it.
Speaker: And I began to get excellent at it.
Speaker: But what it did for me personally was made me popular.
Speaker: And I wasn't necessarily good looking.
Speaker: I was kind of funny.
Speaker: So I would do the handwriting and all of a sudden women would just show up and hang out with me.
Speaker: So you were a comedian.
Speaker: You're not necessarily popular, weren't good looking, but the women liked you because you were funny.
Speaker: You're saying that we use comedy to meet women?
Speaker: Yeah, maybe that might be the case.
Speaker: I mean, I talk about that in my act.
Speaker: I want a guy who's funny.
Speaker: I want a sense of humor.
Speaker: And then they go on to have sex with the captain of the football team when you're in high school.
Speaker: It's like, yeah, you went over to the same high school.
Speaker: Yeah, you know, we're the warm up act for the guy who gets laid.
Speaker: They come hang out with us, they drink, and then they go to his house.
Speaker: We're the comedy fluffer for the guy who actually gets to close.
Speaker: That's exactly what that is.
Speaker: Hey, story of my life until once you got into radio, though, then it became, you know.
Speaker: I was a celebrity.
Speaker: And people, before the internet, they don't understand.
Speaker: Like, you...
Speaker: You were either on radio, TV, or newspaper.
Speaker: And if you were in those, you were a celebrity.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: From like the 80s up until basically 2001, in 2000-ish when the internet became pretty popular.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And then all of a sudden people had their own channels, which I actually like it now.
Speaker: The fact that we're doing the Bart show, the fact that I can produce this, that I can do the show I wanted to do.
Speaker: I spent years going into the networks pitching a show.
Speaker: And you know what, you're not really there.
Speaker: And it's okay, we like you.
Speaker: And Comedy Central's like, you know, you're not really there.
Speaker: So there's always gatekeepers.
Speaker: Oh yeah, I know.
Speaker: Hollywood's job is to say no.
Speaker: I really feel like, because I'm currently pitching two game shows plus a movie script, right?
Speaker: And I feel like a lot of Hollywood is, like you said, the gatekeeper.
Speaker: Like, well, if I say yes to everything, then I'm not... Any chimp can just say yes.
Speaker: So I have to say no, even if I like the idea.
Speaker: And then eventually, when someone else nibbles at it, then the people that said no, oh wait, we'll bring that back.
Speaker: Maybe we want to see that again.
Speaker: Yeah, the first show I pitched was probably 2003.
Speaker: And I'm sitting in the head office of ABC.
Speaker: And this wonderful woman, and her name escapes me at the moment, but she goes, look, I gotta tell you, Bart, I said no to Survivor twice.
Speaker: And she goes, I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker: Like, I'm doing the best I can, but we just don't know what's gonna be ahead.
Speaker: And whatever show you're pitching, like, I may say no to you, but I could be wrong.
Speaker: And I thought that was such an honest sort of assessment of like, look, I know I'm in charge of this network and it's not really a fit for us now.
Speaker: And so I pitched a lot of shows that never did.
Speaker: And that's what I love about today is the audience is going to find you with no gatekeeper.
Speaker: So this show may be terrible, but some people may love it and it could blow up, but I don't have a gatekeeper.
Speaker: Yeah, well, like I said, as a podcaster myself and as a comedian, what I like about comedy, if you're a control freak like I am, you're the writer, producer, editor, choreographer, performer.
Speaker: And when it goes well, hey, it's all me.
Speaker: When it goes bad, that audience was terrible.
Speaker: But no, when it goes bad, I make a joke.
Speaker: You still can take that responsibility.
Speaker: I tell a lot of new comedians, the highest high from the best show you ever had and the lowest low from the worst show you ever had are not really representative of who you are.
Speaker: What you want to aim for is consistency.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: So like if you book Bart on 10 shows,
Speaker: My scoring system for a lack of a better word is seven out of 10 times I'm gonna kill.
Speaker: Two out of 10 times I'm gonna have a solid set and one out of 10 like any human you're gonna tank.
Speaker: I mean, you lived in LA.
Speaker: I mean, I watched Chris Rock and Jerry Seinfeld tank.
Speaker: that are trying out new stuff.
Speaker: I mean, it happens.
Speaker: Yeah, it happens.
Speaker: I watched Russell Brand doing it like two hours before his big special.
Speaker: This was like 10 years ago before he grew the Messiah Complex thing.
Speaker: And I really liked his comedy and most of it was open mic stuff.
Speaker: know that he can go to open mics, but what he did was he goes, I got a big mailing list.
Speaker: I'll just mail it out.
Speaker: And he had 200 fans, very tolerant of him writing notes, talking to a computer.
Speaker: And he was doing hard stuff.
Speaker: Like I like doing religious things.
Speaker: I like making fun of hard topics.
Speaker: I like taking on those challenges, but they're harder to write.
Speaker: because you're basically offending people's core beliefs.
Speaker: Someone's going to be... You're going to split.
Speaker: He used to be 77.
Speaker: Now it's only 67% of America are Christians.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So if you make any joke, like I have a Jesus of Nazareth sort of thing, CSI Nazareth, which I think is hilarious.
Speaker: That's awesome.
Speaker: Already I can see where this joke's, the bit's going, but yes.
Speaker: But if you really love Jesus, 67% are already on edge, like don't offend me.
Speaker: So you've got to navigate it very carefully.
Speaker: He did it so well in the story is that he, of that hour and a half or two hours, only like seven minutes ended up in the special.
Speaker: yeah and what it taught me was oh this is hard yeah you're going to go through a lot of material that just isn't great and then what's great ends up on the special yeah what comedian was it said it's like yeah a diamond is made you know you mine it from the earth it's not ready for a ring coming out of the earth you have to chip away as much as you can while still meaning the integrity of the diamond for something you can sell that you can use that is pretty and said you have you write 10 minutes of material so you can fight off there's the 60 seconds that is just
Speaker: That's so frustrating.
Speaker: It's sort of like the David.
Speaker: The sculpture's there, but you've got to keep taking it away.
Speaker: I think they took a little bit too off the wiener.
Speaker: I've seen that statue, but still.
Speaker: I find him attractive.
Speaker: You think he's a little unhung for you?
Speaker: I just remember when we go into Italy thinking, man, that statue's huge.
Speaker: Why is the penis seem so way out of proportion for the rest of the statue?
Speaker: I mean, all things being equal, right?
Speaker: His hands were huge.
Speaker: His hands are the size of like 13-inch hands.
Speaker: It's like a clitoris on there practically.
Speaker: But nonetheless, can we say clitoris?
Speaker: It's a medical term.
Speaker: I hope you're enjoying this special presentation of Amateur Nation.
Speaker: Don't forget, every Thursday is Sneak Peek Thursday, giving you a 60-second video trailer of what's coming on the next episode when you follow me on Instagram, Truth Social, and or Facebook.
Speaker: And I bonus tease you throughout the week with plenty of audiograms for next week's topics.
Speaker: Don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel, at Lou Santini, and visit my main website, louisantini.com.
Speaker: The second half of my interview on The Bart Show is coming right back.
Speaker: There's been an odd shift in human behavior over the last 15 plus years.
Speaker: A sense of entitlement.
Speaker: A constant need for attention.
Speaker: Ironically coupled with the need to be left alone.
Speaker: A desire to be treated the same as everyone else.
Speaker: Stupidly combined with the mindset of, I'm special, so treat me accordingly.
Speaker: Introducing the book, Amateur Nation.
Speaker: The Decline of Common Sense, Manners, and Social Skills.
Speaker: The Second Edition.
Speaker: Inside, you'll read...
Speaker: The Amateur Mission Statement.
Speaker: The 30 Truths About Amateurs.
Speaker: The Four Stages of Being an Amateur.
Speaker: Amateur Habitats and History.
Speaker: Social Media Plus Me, Me, Me Equals Amateur.
Speaker: Technology and Amateur Behavior.
Speaker: With dozens of real funny photos, weird signs, and laugh-out-loud real-life accounts and actual conversations vividly showing how us pros are surrounded by Amateur Nation every day.
Speaker: Download the expanded second edition of the e-book, Amateur Nation, The Decline of Common Sense Manners and Social Skills.
Speaker: The second expanded edition available now.
Speaker: Be a pro.
Speaker: Go to Amazon.
Speaker: Type Amateur Nation.
Speaker: The honor and remember flag is a nationally recognized symbol that sends a message of appreciation for the sacrifice made by our fallen heroes and their families.
Speaker: The flag flies at many NASCAR races around the country, and you can help honor our nation's fallen military members and remember the eternal sacrifice of their service by flying the flag too.
Speaker: Text FLAG to 71777 or visit honorandremember.org to learn more.
Speaker: Together, we remember them all.
Speaker: We now continue with this special presentation of Amateur Nation as we pick up with the second half of my interview at Freedom Fest in Memphis, Tennessee earlier this year as I appeared on The Bart Show.
Speaker: Enjoy.
Speaker: Going back to what you said though about... Going back to what you said though... You've cut up the staff now.
Speaker: This is what we live for.
Speaker: Well, going back to what you said about your Jesus of Nazareth, you said people get edgy.
Speaker: I'm going to be talking about that when I do the panel about comedy and censorship.
Speaker: Not all people, but a lot of people, as I call them in my book and my podcast, amateurs, they hear, Jesus, oh, what?
Speaker: It's like, let me finish yet.
Speaker: Wait till you hear what the story's about first.
Speaker: I'm probably on your side.
Speaker: And even if I said something that offended you, okay, move on with your life.
Speaker: Does it change your beliefs?
Speaker: If it makes you question something, well then chances are maybe it was something you didn't want to hear.
Speaker: Maybe you should be considering that.
Speaker: But I'm not, I mean, you said you like to tackle the tougher subjects.
Speaker: I do that to a point, but my whole, you know, I've had people like, I didn't like that joke.
Speaker: I had a joke about my mom smacking me when I was a kid.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm an Italian, right?
Speaker: I mean, I wasn't abused.
Speaker: I wasn't beaten.
Speaker: But I talk about in this one particular bit how like, do you ever get that once in a lifetime beating?
Speaker: It's particularly from your mom.
Speaker: Or she just loses her mind.
Speaker: You remember where you were, how old you were, what you did, you probably deserved it.
Speaker: And you can laugh about it now.
Speaker: 99% of the time people are like, oh, that's my mom right there.
Speaker: I remember that instead of a book that she threw at you, it was a shoe or a hairbrush or whatever.
Speaker: And you laugh about it.
Speaker: I had some woman come to me and she goes, I was abused my whole life and that hurt my feelings.
Speaker: I was like, look, I feel bad about that, but you didn't listen to the bit.
Speaker: I even said at the beginning, and I don't do disclaimers of my act, but I was like, let me be clear.
Speaker: I wasn't beaten every day.
Speaker: My mom and I are very close.
Speaker: I've written a couple books about her, but I think people have a knee-jerk reaction to words now without listening to the building blocks of comedy, context, writing, timing, and the audience itself, the venue, the avenue which you're watching it.
Speaker: So I had this theory and it's not a comic bit, but, but there's this, uh, you know, people that are super allergic.
Speaker: Like I have a friend with two super allergic kids.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Nuts milk.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: They can't even be in the house because they're allergic.
Speaker: The boy in the bubble.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And so, so I get like these kids came out of the womb allergic.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Seems like a lot of people feel like it's their right to be allergic to your words.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Therefore, instead of making a bubble, you should shut up.
Speaker: Yeah, that's their well, that's their identity.
Speaker: Their identity now is things that oppress them.
Speaker: Victimhood, their anxiety.
Speaker: This is why I literally just I gave up on dating women in Los Angeles.
Speaker: That should piss off all the women in Los Angeles now.
Speaker: They're just disappointed.
Speaker: But yeah, maybe I'm the common denominator.
Speaker: But nonetheless, I mean, I dated all races, shapes and sizes and ages when I lived in L.A., some successful, some not.
Speaker: Obviously not all of them because I'd still be dating them and I moved out of L.A.
Speaker: But
Speaker: I would eliminate some of these women right out of the gate because on the first date, they'd be talking about their anxiety and their allergies and their problems and things they had a problem with.
Speaker: It's like, this is our foundation now.
Speaker: You're a victim and we have to change the world around you.
Speaker: You're a victim and I have to handle you with kid gloves now.
Speaker: It's like, you're dating a comedian.
Speaker: You said you wanted someone funny.
Speaker: It's like comedians are very much get the joke out and deal with the forgiveness later.
Speaker: Yeah, right?
Speaker: Well, you have to always have that talk, especially women who have never dated a comedian, like, here's what's gonna happen.
Speaker: I'm gonna say shit, and I'm not gonna mean it, and you may or may not be offended by it, and then you have to process this.
Speaker: The best example I always give a lot of new comics is the old standard, a man's watching TV, here comes his wife or girlfriend, honey, does my butt look big in these jeans?
Speaker: The civilian, of course, is going to smooth things over.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: No, honey, you look perfect.
Speaker: You're beautiful.
Speaker: But a comedian's like, he's got 10 smart ass answers right out of the gate.
Speaker: All of them hurt her feelings.
Speaker: But he knows like, she'll get over this.
Speaker: If I don't get this joke out, I won't sleep.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Like, I have to come on.
Speaker: She's just she's tossing me this lob.
Speaker: If I don't spike it, I'm not going to, you know, and then we'll deal with the consequences later, knowing that I love my girlfriend or wife.
Speaker: She loves me.
Speaker: She knows I don't mean anything by it.
Speaker: That's the difference between a comedian mindset and a civilian mindset.
Speaker: So, ladies, this is what you're up against or the men if they were dating the women, too.
Speaker: I use that in one of my jokes.
Speaker: I'm like, and then I said, you know, honey, it's not the jeans that make you look fat.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: And the girl's like, I know.
Speaker: And I want that because the setup is later, but it's so funny because even though I'm obviously on stage, obviously saying this is an asshole thing I'm gonna say, they still offended.
Speaker: And it's not even them.
Speaker: It's me with this other fictitional person.
Speaker: Who you're not even dating anymore, right?
Speaker: Every male comedian when they're talking about their wife or girlfriend,
Speaker: She always times like, yeah, she's a nag.
Speaker: And every female comedian, oh, they're husband and boyfriend, they're so stupid.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: And there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker: I mean, it's like, I can give as well as I can take or vice versa.
Speaker: It's like, I'm okay with that.
Speaker: I've resigned myself to that part of my life as a comedian.
Speaker: I don't mind the stereotypes.
Speaker: It's funny.
Speaker: Speaking of girlfriends you dated, you told me a funny story before we got on here.
Speaker: Apparently,
Speaker: you dated my girlfriend.
Speaker: Yeah, but I didn't.
Speaker: But I thought, but apparently the whole world thinks you dated my girlfriend.
Speaker: The whole world?
Speaker: Well, and Jerry Springer.
Speaker: So this is such a great story that I just completely deleted.
Speaker: She's like, you know, we haven't seen each other in a while.
Speaker: And it's like, didn't I go on a
Speaker: date with your girlfriend?
Speaker: I'm like, who?
Speaker: She said that?
Speaker: You said that.
Speaker: Oh, I said that.
Speaker: Oh, yes.
Speaker: Before the show.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So I was I was on a dating game show.
Speaker: This is an ex-girlfriend a long time ago.
Speaker: It's got to be well over 20 years.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Around there.
Speaker: I was hosted by Jerry Springer.
Speaker: And what's funny is I was a contested on this dating show.
Speaker: I think the concept of the show was
Speaker: the female contestants would have to go through the three male contestants to determine, the show was called Baggage, that's what it was called.
Speaker: It was called Baggage.
Speaker: Called Baggage, that's what it was.
Speaker: And then you get two bags and they send you somewhere.
Speaker: Yeah, so it's like, you know, you tell one truth and two lies, and then the female contestant could determine out of the three men which is the most tolerable for their baggage.
Speaker: Well, Max Ruffin could definitely tell a liar.
Speaker: That's true.
Speaker: That was a good skill.
Speaker: I've tested that.
Speaker: So what's funny is, I mean, we didn't make up what's funny.
Speaker: I remember being contested on that show.
Speaker: And I, of course, it's hard to not be funny when you're dealing with that kind of stuff.
Speaker: And I remember from the booth, you could hear the director like, Lou, that was great, but you got to dial down the funny.
Speaker: And Jerry Springer looks at me and goes, yeah, come on, man, I'm the host.
Speaker: And I remember I told him, I said, well, step aside, chief.
Speaker: And he laughed.
Speaker: and then so uh your ex-girlfriend and we we we spoke we got paid to go on a date which which we never went in fairness she's like hey i have this opportunity to go on this show right we're dating well should i do that i'm like you're living in hollywood you should totally do it yeah exposure easy money i don't know if he's single no one no matter you go on the day they'll send you money they gave us money and we never actually went on the date but then we started communicating via think well my
Speaker: space back then or text message yeah or her burner phone yeah yeah because that woman had a burner phone what she had the first burner phone ever the prototype of burner phones so then uh so we just we never got paid it took like 12 months to get like less than a thousand dollars i said but you get paid yet she goes no i'll let you know but then we needed a woman on our softball team okay and that's when i said you want to be on our softball team which there you go that's then all of a sudden we're in bed now
Speaker: We take that giant leap from a game show to softball to intercourse.
Speaker: That's how the Los Angeles dating timeline works.
Speaker: But it's weird.
Speaker: I've had so many people go on game shows.
Speaker: Now, have you met Jerry Springer before that show?
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: Fellow Ohioan, too.
Speaker: He passed away in the last couple of years.
Speaker: And I was on Good Morning, Texas, and it was September 12th, 2001.
Speaker: the day after 9 11. oh wow and whatever like everyone's super serious whatever and i've never met him before and we're in the green room getting makeup on and um he was just delightful tall guy too right funny like i just remember politician whatever yeah i mean this guy was joke joke right joke in the green room and finally he turns to me and they're showing the buildings fall on 9 11 and he goes i'm just gonna say both buildings fell
Speaker: Both of them?
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: As if he never watched the news.
Speaker: And he goes, you think it's too soon?
Speaker: It's too soon, isn't it?
Speaker: I was like, oh my God.
Speaker: You know, it's so tense.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: And he just cut it with a knife.
Speaker: And I was like, this guy's a genius.
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: I'm glad you brought that up.
Speaker: I had to do a show at the Ha Ha Comedy Club in North Hollywood.
Speaker: Yeah, I performed there.
Speaker: The day after 9-11.
Speaker: You did not.
Speaker: Oh, no.
Speaker: And I remember, I'm just waiting for my phone to blow up like, hey, show's canceled or whatever.
Speaker: And they didn't.
Speaker: And honestly, doing comedy 26 years, it was one of the most memorable moments
Speaker: touching shows of my life because we got there and you know most comedy clubs music's playing keep the energy up and you could just tell everyone felt like why are we doing this but no one wanted to go home either right they didn't want to go home maybe a dozen people in the audience on a friday night when it was packed and uh i remember i was actually hosting that show as opposed to doing a regular set
Speaker: And the comedians were backstage pacing like tigers, like everything I say is going to be offensive.
Speaker: I have no reason.
Speaker: I have no right to be here.
Speaker: How dare I be?
Speaker: How dare I be happy to be happy?
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: You're supposed to be miserable.
Speaker: So I remember I came out on stage and there was a guy who came to the show by himself.
Speaker: He had a military Vietnam hat on and maybe his shirt or jacket or something.
Speaker: And I came out there and I said, all right, folks, let's just get one thing straight here.
Speaker: The comedians backstage are nervous as hell to perform.
Speaker: And we know you're tense, so I can assure you there will be no jokes about the tragedy that befell us.
Speaker: But let's make a deal.
Speaker: We promise to make you forget about everything that happened yesterday for an hour and a half.
Speaker: And you promised just to forget about your troubles for a little bit.
Speaker: And we'll work on it.
Speaker: I mean, everyone at the same time, you can tell,
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And I remember every comedian destroyed, even the ones who were less experienced.
Speaker: And we got the standing ovation.
Speaker: Look at those goosebumps.
Speaker: Standing ovation and that military guy stood up, was crying.
Speaker: Man, there was not a dry in the house.
Speaker: It was just a beautiful, beautiful night of comedy.
Speaker: And that's one of those life affirming like this.
Speaker: This is why you do comedy right there.
Speaker: Because you're releasing tension.
Speaker: You're taking people away from the troubles.
Speaker: That's the perfect example of the best scenario.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: My brother, who has no respect for the arts or comedy, is like, well, you're the clown of the family.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: I was like, it is an art.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I do how many years like Lou, like this is such an art, but there's no respect for it.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Because he's never seen that moment of like, right.
Speaker: You're going to you're going to take people and transport them away to somewhere else.
Speaker: Do you have that type of moment working in your cubicle?
Speaker: Probably not.
Speaker: I'm not saying other jobs aren't important as well, but I mean, seriously, it's like, you know, it's like, those are those life affirming moments.
Speaker: Like, I'm not gonna say it makes up for the lousy money, but it's right there.
Speaker: I mean, it really does.
Speaker: I have that now the rest of my life.
Speaker: Well, the thing about the money is you do it for 10 or 15 years and you barely make a living.
Speaker: You struggle.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: And then finally you hit something and now you're kind of on easy street.
Speaker: Was it like that for you?
Speaker: Was there a jump when you're like, wow, I'm making a living now?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I was always, I was in radio 11 years and I was struggling for the first like,
Speaker: five six seven out of 11 years in radio keeping the lights on but i was also working 80 hours a week i had a side business you know djing weddings and corporate functions all my side hustles were always things that involved entertainment writing on camera on stage something like that i wanted to keep even if i had to have three or four jobs keep them in the entertainment business that's smart and then all of a sudden you know you get called up to the majors at a
Speaker: the number one radio station in Cleveland and one of the most prolific stations in the United States, WMMS.
Speaker: And here I am now, I'm covering the ribbon cutting of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Speaker: I was actually in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as an exhibit for a while.
Speaker: And then all of a sudden you go from being ass deep in debt to like liquid like that.
Speaker: It's like, ah.
Speaker: That's what it's like.
Speaker: 10 years of hard work sure now you're i mean you're not rich you're just all of a sudden like but you're making your living in entertainment and when i and that feels good it feels good and when you're in entertainment in los angeles i mean yeah i i painted storefronts on car dealerships and drug stores and uh you know hustled like crazy and uh you know i had an office job until but all of a sudden 2003 four it's like all entertainment that is impressive can i look at your handwriting
Speaker: Go ahead if you can read it.
Speaker: It is messy, but it's actually, it reminds me, you know, I've done, like I said, almost 15, 1600 radio shows and all the best radio hosts write like you.
Speaker: Oh, is that right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So this fluid, see this kind of your Y's and G's kind of curve in there?
Speaker: That is all fluidity of thinking.
Speaker: So you have Ellen Lou.
Speaker: Can I get that in writing from my girlfriend?
Speaker: The fluidity and thinking very, very fluid.
Speaker: What it means is it means you go from one topic to the next very smoothly.
Speaker: And what I think the only one that would have this perspective, because I've been reading so many radio professionals, is they have the ability to weave words.
Speaker: say something and come back five minutes later and finish that thought.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And that's a writer's ability, but some writers can't talk.
Speaker: My girlfriend calls it rambling, but go ahead.
Speaker: It's rambling.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, it's rambling.
Speaker: But you're a rambler and that's just, you're in the perfect position for yourself.
Speaker: I mean, you could kill, go back to radio for that.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: Also persistence, which is a sign of self-made millionaires, which is great.
Speaker: Domineering which can be a little bit petty if you want to take control someone hit the ding on that Domineering okay pride which I think is always a wonderful quality because it means that you care about your work and status is important so you worked for a long time with no money but you were getting status right I did the same thing in my 20s and I and I was broke most of it but I was kind of famous so I was like I would like some money in addition to this notoriety
Speaker: I tell a lot of new comedians when you're not making money, your reputation's all you have.
Speaker: So protect it.
Speaker: Well, and it's important, but it's also a driver.
Speaker: So what I did in my 30s, I still want the recognition, but I also would like to have some business.
Speaker: I want some money.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: And so I sort of adjusted my values.
Speaker: It's still recognition's important, but making a difference, being creative, all that's there.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: No, you're a very well-balanced person.
Speaker: You really are a fast talker.
Speaker: You're almost like New York fast talker.
Speaker: I get that a lot.
Speaker: People think I'm from New York.
Speaker: So the M's and N's are how fast you are.
Speaker: And generally what that means is people who drive slow in the fast lane, you'd like to shoot them.
Speaker: Were you following me here?
Speaker: I told my girlfriend I want a hood mounted machine gun for my car.
Speaker: But they do.
Speaker: Have you been on a cruise ship ever?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Why do they walk like this and just you cannot get to your gig?
Speaker: You can't get to the buffet and they'll go left and then you'll go around them and walking to your show.
Speaker: This happened three times.
Speaker: The same woman twice.
Speaker: I even went around her at a different part and I'm like, she's back.
Speaker: Can't you just shoot them?
Speaker: I think it's still illegal.
Speaker: I mean, I believe there's a gun vendor at the show that would probably be okay with that.
Speaker: As I talk about my act, that's so much as like a taser or like a silencer.
Speaker: A taser's not fair.
Speaker: Just kind of like a soprano.
Speaker: I mean, I think an elephant gun, but taser's probably better.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But don't you get like, because here's why, you think fast, you've already finished the thought, and they're still slow.
Speaker: I get mad at my computer, like I hit the button, do it.
Speaker: Shift, tab, or open this file now.
Speaker: You have one job.
Speaker: You're a button.
Speaker: You have one job.
Speaker: Oh my God, dude.
Speaker: I want to hug you right now.
Speaker: I say those exact words.
Speaker: I tell my girlfriend, I fully believe that inanimate objects are like public enemy number one.
Speaker: It's like you have one job.
Speaker: Do it.
Speaker: Toast the toast.
Speaker: Microwave the bagel.
Speaker: Whatever it is you're doing.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: So you gave me a t-shirt.
Speaker: I did.
Speaker: So first of all, you got my color.
Speaker: I just, I don't always wear this.
Speaker: I have like five of these shirts because it makes my eyes look pretty.
Speaker: I want to say something.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: No, it's not gay.
Speaker: Just a beautiful.
Speaker: You're pretty bad.
Speaker: So this is no amateurs.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Ooh, I kind of like that.
Speaker: What's the meaning behind that?
Speaker: Amateurs, my Dry Bar comedy special is called Amateur Nation.
Speaker: My book on Amazon is called Amateur Nation, The Decline of Common Sense Manners and Social Skills.
Speaker: And my podcast is called Amateur Nation.
Speaker: Amateurs are people who are doing life wrong.
Speaker: The speed bumps in your life, the people that are in your way every day.
Speaker: And I talk about it in my intro, the unintelligent victim types, all these people, just enough of you.
Speaker: All the people we make fun of.
Speaker: people we've been talking about on the show today.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: People I make fun of in my act.
Speaker: So yes, so my shirts, you can get them on my website.
Speaker: I'm running out of them, but yeah, no amateurs.
Speaker: So you have Lou Santini Entertainment on Facebook, YouTube, Lou Santini.
Speaker: It's so easy to go.
Speaker: And then you have this unfortunate- Lou Dot Santini.
Speaker: Lou Dot.
Speaker: So there's a-
Speaker: Well, because I do other Lucy and no, I got my account censored twice by Instagram.
Speaker: They shut it down.
Speaker: I have five, 10,000, you know, start over, start over twice, twice.
Speaker: So you can follow you.
Speaker: And is there a show coming out?
Speaker: Where can they see me over your comedy?
Speaker: Lucy and TD.com.
Speaker: My dry bar special driver, comedy.com slash L O U S. And I'll actually, you know, my calendar is on there.
Speaker: How fun.
Speaker: How fun.
Speaker: I haven't seen it yet.
Speaker: I'm looking forward to it.
Speaker: I appreciate it.
Speaker: Yeah, this will be great.
Speaker: When this podcast drops, we'll promote it back and forth, and I'll hang out with you in LA, I hope.
Speaker: Can't wait.
Speaker: We can share some more girlfriends.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I owe you one girlfriend.
Speaker: Though already I'm behind.
Speaker: Lou Sintini, everybody.
Speaker: Thanks, everybody.
Speaker: Well, I hope you had some laughs listening to this special presentation of Amateur Nation, 250 episodes and counting.
Speaker: We return to our regular format show next Sunday.
Speaker: Watch me go after amateurs on my Drybar special, drybarcomedy.com slash L-O-U-S.
Speaker: Copy and paste the link from whatever platform you listen on and send it to a fellow pro.
Speaker: or an amateur that is doing life wrong.
Speaker: And please leave a review.
Speaker: Amateur Nation is not just a podcast.
Speaker: It's a movement.
Speaker: Remember, amateurs, we see you.
Speaker: You're not at home.
Speaker: Don't do life wrong.
Speaker: Go pro.
Speaker: Don't be an amateur.
Speaker: For Amateur Nation, I'm Lou Santini, and this has been a Big Major production.
