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173. The Mental Game That Separates Great Athletes | Bryker Hurdsman
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Every athlete experiences highs and lows.
The difference between athletes who continue to grow and those who burn out isn't talent—it's how they think.
Former BYU baseball standout Bryker Hurdsman joins the Especially for Athletes Podcast to discuss the mental side of sports, why staying emotionally steady matters, why athletes should enjoy playing multiple sports, and how focusing on the process instead of the outcome changes everything.
In this episode you'll learn:
- Why Bryker wishes he had continued playing multiple sports
- The importance of developing a daily process
- How to stop letting bad games define you
- Why confidence comes from discipline—not results
- Lessons from BYU's mental performance coaching
- How sports prepare you for life after athletics
Whether you're an athlete, parent, or coach, this episode will help you think differently about success.
Remember...
Eyes Up. Do the Work.
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Especially for Athletes:
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Join the conversation using #E4APodcast
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Credits: Hosted by Shad Martin + Justin Miller
Produced by E4A and IMAGINATE STUDIO
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Especially for Athletes'
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to the Especially for Athletes podcast, where we explore essential principles that empower athletes to learn life's most valuable lessons through sports.
00:00:15
Speaker
Hello,
Bryker Herdsman's Baseball Journey
00:00:16
Speaker
everybody. Welcome to the Especially for Athletes podcast. I'm here with Justin Miller, who's co-hosting with us today. and we have Bryker Herdsman, who just finished his career at Brigham Young University.
00:00:30
Speaker
ah played right field. Is that where you finished up? I know you played some center field and some right field, and but right field is where you finished up, right? Yep, mainly right field. Awesome.
00:00:41
Speaker
Awesome. But Bryker had a very successful career at BYU. I remember your junior year, Bryker, because we're friends. I was tracking. You were going for the Big 12 hitting title there, and you had an injury, fell off a little bit the last two weeks with that wrist injury you had going on, but competed for the Big 12 batting title, and in the 2025 season and and just finished up ah one of BYU's most successful seasons in the last last decade. And so it's been fun to follow you, Riker. Let's see, you you were actually an Especially for Athletes athlete, went and participated at Desert Hills in St. George and signed with Utah Tech out of out of high school, played a season there.
00:01:31
Speaker
And then, is that right? You played for
Transition to Healthcare and Personal Life
00:01:33
Speaker
one year and then went on a mission to, ah which mission in Colorado? Yeah, so I served in Fort Collins, Colorado, and then I actually played coming off my mission.
00:01:44
Speaker
so okay Okay, so you went on your mission first, then went to Utah Tech, and then finished your last three years at at BYU. Yes. Mm-hmm. Awesome. And most important thing that happened on his mission was meeting his wife, Heather.
00:01:58
Speaker
And as cool as Bryker is, Heather... is just a little bit cooler, which is usually all of our situations. And
Multi-Sport Experience and Reflections
00:02:06
Speaker
so, uh, Briker, we're so excited to talk to you and, and just to learn from now that you're wrapping up your sports career, you're moving on in healthcare care administration in Colorado and got a job there and moving back to where your mission was.
00:02:23
Speaker
uh, But it's a great time to reflect on some of those life lessons that you've learned throughout your sporting career growing up. Maybe ask this. ah Did you play any other sports besides baseball or were you a baseball only guy?
00:02:39
Speaker
Yeah, I growing up, I kind of played the big three, played a little bit of football, a little bit of basketball. um But I kind of. Football and basketball for me kind of trickled out a little bit.
00:02:52
Speaker
So I kind of grew up playing those as a kid. And then when I got into high school, I started to focus a little bit more on baseball just because my brother, he he was a big ah big baseball guy as well. He played at the University of Houston. And so kind of growing up through high school, I watched him a little bit. And so the other two sports, unfortunately, I wish I would have, like if I could go back, I wish I could just stick stick with them.
00:03:16
Speaker
Yeah. um But those kind of trickled out towards my kind of sophomore, junior years and then just focus on baseball throughout. Yeah, I'm curious why you say that. why Why, if you could go back and talk to Breiker Hurts and would you say, yeah yeah, man, just keep playing the other sports.
00:03:33
Speaker
Yeah, I think, man, I think if I could look back, I think those are just some of the funnest moments was getting to just play basketball or football with some of my other buddies.
00:03:43
Speaker
um Like when I think of high school, I think of a lot of my friends were based around kind of more of the athletics that I was playing with. And so I out was friends with football kids. I was friends with you know, basketball kids. I was friends with baseball kids. And so it was super fun because I had tons of different friends just throughout.
00:04:03
Speaker
And so I wish part of me, not only athletically, it helped me a lot um to grow kind of into my body and just as an athlete, but it also helped me gain a lot of really good relationships. And so I wish I would have stayed in kind of those two departments to kind of continue that aspect. But yeah, if I could go back, I definitely would try to to play all.
00:04:27
Speaker
Yeah, no, I played, I played the big three in high school and then football trickled out for me. It's probably just the opposite for Justin, but played basketball and and baseball, but Once you get done, like you, you realize those memories that seem they're going to go on forever, the chances to make those memories, to have that fun.
00:04:47
Speaker
All of a sudden, that water spigot just turns off and it's done. and and it's like that that chance to make memories in high school with your buddies and those bus rides and everything else.
00:04:59
Speaker
it It's over way sooner than you think. And then even if you have the opportunity to go on and play college sports like the three of us did, that becomes very hyper-focused and it's not the same experience as that high school experience. But Justin, what are your thoughts on that, playing multiple sports?
00:05:17
Speaker
Yeah, i I
The Value of Multi-Sport Participation
00:05:18
Speaker
felt the same way almost. um I mean, I played my senior year. I played football, basketball, and then did track and field. um And that was kind of my one regret.
00:05:28
Speaker
Moving from California, I stopped playing baseball um when I moved. And so, that would, that would be one. If I could go back, I'd probably throw baseball back in Um, but I, I had a bunch of good friends and and buddies on our track and field team. So it was kind of the same thing you were just talking about, Chad, that the bus rides for us, we were going kind of all over Utah. And so we had hours and hours on the bus. And so that kind of made up for it where, um,
00:05:56
Speaker
With baseball, we would have been a little bit closer. um But yeah, that I mean, playing multiple sports is just awesome. Like like you said, Breitker, you get so many people in there that you just have a ton more relationships that you can make. and um And depending on where you are, like down in St. George with some of the the bigger high schools down there,
00:06:19
Speaker
ah So many kids are focusing earlier on, and so you're not getting as many of those kind of multi-sport athletes. And so if you can be one of those kids, you do get a lot more attention.
00:06:34
Speaker
relationships out of it because there are 50 kids playing on the football team and not many of them are playing on the basketball team too. And so you get some more friends out of that too. But, uh, I think going along with that is just the influence that you can have on even more people too. Like if you are, um,
00:06:52
Speaker
what we preach to be of of being a good example, having high character and things like that, then you can have that impact and and spread it among more people, which is is valuable and ah needed in in youth sports and high school sports for sure.
00:07:07
Speaker
Yeah, in fact, I'm thinking of a, have you guys seen a Nick Saban quote where he talked about when he recruited DBs, he always recruited kids that played outfield in baseball as well, because yeah it it allowed them to judge the ball better. And just that footwork of being an outfielder, there's so many things that go into being a multi-sport athlete, but I love what we've landed on here with that just little comment, which wasn't part of our plan here, Breiker, but I think there's a lot of pressure on kids right now that they feel like they're getting behind if they
00:07:45
Speaker
if they play another sport besides the one that they really want to pursue. But when you play multiple sports, it helps. Each sport helps the other sport, right?
00:07:57
Speaker
But not only that, it's the relationship stuff. It's the, your time playing sports, Bryker, you're just to the end of it. Justin, you too, actually. You you just finished. You went and played a year professionally in Europe. And with you realize, like, how old are you now, Bryker?
00:08:17
Speaker
Like, you know, and now it's that, that competitive
Life Lessons from Sports
00:08:22
Speaker
time of your life from age five to 24, it goes so fast.
00:08:28
Speaker
And then, and then it's over. And now not to get all depressed here or anything, but now it's about like, taking those lessons that you've learned in sports, applying it to other things, working a job, having a family, raising a family and, and, of and passing that on to the next, the next generation. But, but man, when you realize, especially high school sports is where it really picks up big crowds, you know, things like that to the end of college sports, is it most now like a, nine year window?
00:09:04
Speaker
And it just comes and it goes. So why not take advantage and have as much fun as possible? Because for the majority, point whatever percent are going to go play professional. And it's so, yeah, I know that was a fleeting comment, but I think it's important for for our audience to hear, you know, someone at the end of their their career going, you know, when I look back, and I maybe would have stuck with the big three a little longer in in your case. So.
00:09:33
Speaker
so So awesome. Any other thoughts on that, Bryker or Justin? That's just like you said. I think that's super important. I think kind of leads into a question for you, Bryker, is what are some of those biggest lessons that you learned in sports? I mean, we have those relationships, but kind of the off-the-field stuff that and on the field to ah to an extent too. But what are some of those things that you learned and took most out of sports when you were younger and specifically baseball through your time at at Utah Tech and BYU? What are, what are some of those lessons that you learned?
00:10:09
Speaker
Yeah. Um, I think for me, like growing up, um, I think the biggest thing was just like mentally, like being very, very good mentally. Um, I think like growing up through high school, I wasn't like a crazy, crazy athlete, like,
00:10:27
Speaker
ah There was kids in my high school that signed with big colleges, Cal Poly, kind of those different places. um Drew Thorpe is a big name.
00:10:38
Speaker
like He's playing like for the White Sox right now. like um So i was like when I think of myself, I was never a kid that was just like just this big marketed athlete. like I was never...
00:10:52
Speaker
You know what I mean? Like I was never that type of athlete that was like, oh, I'm going to a really big SEC or I may be a draft pick out of out of high school. So I never really had that for me. um But I was somebody that was like progressively getting better as an athlete.
00:11:08
Speaker
And so I think for me, when I got into to college and especially on my, like coming home from my mission, um I kind of didn't know if I was going to play baseball for a long time. Like I, I didn't know, I was like, you know what, I'm going to give it two years.
00:11:24
Speaker
And if I can go from there, uh, you know, I'm just going to give it my all and just compete like crazy and see where it kind of takes me. Um, and so I kind of came home for my mission and, um, I, I started playing down at Utah tech.
00:11:40
Speaker
Um, and for me, I just noticed that like, man, there was I had teammates and and me alone at times would be like, oh, like I can't hit.
00:11:50
Speaker
And so I'd get pretty down on myself. um And then the next day I'd go four for four or three for four. Right. um And so it was this constant battle of like, oh, I'm good. Oh, I'm not good. Oh, I'm good. Oh, I'm not good.
00:12:05
Speaker
um And then that kind of hit me my first kind of fall. um the first fall for me was pretty tough. Like i I came off my mission. And so I was very like mentally in a good spot of kind of where I wanted to be and pushing myself as a person um and wanted to push myself in all aspects.
00:12:25
Speaker
um And so I would say the biggest thing that I was able to learn is that like you're only really as good as what you're telling yourself. um And so a lot of the time that first fall, it was like, oh, I'm really good.
00:12:39
Speaker
Like, I believe that I can play in tech and slowly kind of earned a starting position. in the outfield there at Utah Tech um as a freshman and and then slowly kind of earned my stitches there.
00:12:56
Speaker
um Started as a freshman down there and played really, really well. um Started off pretty good and then I ended up like tweaking a muscle in my back and like I was like paralyzed. like I couldn't move. So it caused me only play like a good half of the season.
00:13:13
Speaker
um And so dealing with that injury was really hard for me because I was like, oh, man, like, I don't know. There's a lot of pressure around that. um So I would say the biggest thing to that question, I kind of rambled on there, but I think...
00:13:29
Speaker
Like mentally, ah just with sports is having a lot of confidence in yourself. and and And I wouldn't say necessarily confidence in trying to become a big product, but confidence in a sense of knowing that you can get better.
00:13:47
Speaker
And that you can like, we talk a lot at BYU about being 1% better each day and how those little small moments will create momentum over time and help you reach the peak.
00:14:00
Speaker
um And so that's what I would say is really, really helped me is mentally telling myself that, hey, it's okay to have days that are really, really hard.
00:14:11
Speaker
but
Mental Resilience and Process over Outcomes
00:14:12
Speaker
I'm going to show up every single day. And it doesn't matter how I feel, but I'm going to give 100% to just trying to be just trying to be my best. And so I would say that mentally, ah it takes that.
00:14:24
Speaker
um That's kind of what I've learned. That's really awesome. You know, Justin, you know, we talk a lot about the fact that if you focus on process over, we call it process over podiums, you know, podiums are kind of that outcome.
00:14:39
Speaker
especially in baseball. And I can't speak to football. I haven't played football at the high level that Justin has, you know, and maybe it's the same with football too. And Justin can speak to that. But there were days where I showed up at the baseball field and I hit the ball on the nail, like like all four times I got up to bat just and went 0 for 4, right?
00:15:03
Speaker
And then the next day I show up And ah I'm late on a pitch and check swing and hit a blooper over the first baseman's head and get a double out of it. Right. And baseball is a very humbling sport.
00:15:16
Speaker
And I think it's one of the greatest things that teaches because of that dynamic. Is you just have to have to focus on your process.
00:15:27
Speaker
Am I putting in the work? Am I showing up every day and trying to be one percent better no matter how I feel? I do think that's an important life lesson that a lot of people don't,
00:15:40
Speaker
don't learn that if you don't show up and work every day, regardless of how motivated you are, how you feel like discipline beats motivation every time in a person's life. If you could be a disciplined person, that's way better than being a motivation, a motivated person because motivation ebbs and flows. But discipline is showing up even when you don't feel like it.
00:16:02
Speaker
and And I think that's an important lesson you learn from sports. Justin, what would you say to that coming from the football perspective? Yeah, football is pretty unique in that way where you're so reliant on your teammates. um And similar to to like a pitcher in baseball is is probably a good analogy of it where you could be throwing great pitches and they're hitting little dribblers and still getting on base. And and you got to rely on your fielders around you. And so that's very much how football is, especially as a quarterback where it's
00:16:35
Speaker
I mean, you're relying on your offensive line, everybody doing what they're supposed to be doing. You're relying on your receivers running the right routes um and then catching the ball. So there's a ah whole new level of...
00:16:48
Speaker
um just appreciation for what everyone else is supposed to be doing. And then you have to still do your part where, um, in baseball, I think there are some similarities in there, but I love that baseball is super, like you said, Chad process oriented, like,
00:17:07
Speaker
You could be hitting the ball great. You could be hitting the middle of the ball every time, hitting line drives everywhere and get out for 10 games in a row and not get on base. just You're hitting the ball perfectly, but you're just hitting it right at guys. And then at some point it switches. And so I think what Breiker said about kind of that mental resiliency of it is,
00:17:26
Speaker
is a huge thing in sports. Uh, when you, yeah, and you can see it everywhere when people gain their confidence back, uh, in whatever they're doing, it's like a light turned back on and now everything's going right for them.
00:17:41
Speaker
And then it starts to dwindle and, and it goes the other way. And, I think baseball is a perfect example of that in life where you kind of hit those slumps where sometimes you're on the on the up and you just can't miss. Anything you do is going to get you on base and and get you to where you want to be. Everybody's saying yes to you. And then for whatever reason, you're doing the exact same thing and everybody starts saying no and you start getting out all the time. And I think it's just a perfect example of what happens in life and and what Brikker said about
00:18:13
Speaker
that confidence and staying kind of on that path of, no, I'm, I'm good enough to do this. It's, it's not me. It's just, I'm going to keep putting my head down working and and doing what I need to do.
00:18:26
Speaker
And at some point it's going to start to turn around for me. I think, The hardest part of that is making sure that you are doing the right stuff because everybody talks about the quote of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Well, I think that applies. But if you're doing the right thing over and over, sometimes you got to wait a little bit longer. And so making sure that you are on the right path, doing the right things over and over and over.
00:18:56
Speaker
um it will turn around for you where if you're if you're not doing the right stuff over and over and over, then we got to reevaluate and change. But I really liked what you said, Breiker, about the ah the mental aspect of sports and and how that applies into our lives. like
The Role of Coaches in Athlete Development
00:19:15
Speaker
that's That's a lesson that is never going to go away for you and for for all athletes and and coaches even that we got to make sure we're talking to ourselves in that way. Um, and it, it's not just with how we perform on the field. That's how we look. I know for like young women, especially making sure that they're having that same attitude about, uh, their body image. And, uh, when they're at school, making sure that
00:19:42
Speaker
All right. Yeah, I'm enough. I'm I'm in a good spot. I'm i'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. And that can translate into so many different parts of our lives that it's a ah huge, huge lesson for us to learn through sports. And the earlier we can get on to that, I think the better we can become and and the more consistent we can become, too.
00:20:03
Speaker
Yeah, I love that inner dialogue stuff. Sometimes we're the cruelest people in the world to ourselves, right? I mean, we just talk so negatively to ourselves. And actually, you touched on this, Justin, but for our female athletes, that is something that is way more common among females than it is among among males. They are so hard on themselves, the way they look, the way they act, the way they um they play, I'm sure. It translates into sports as well.
00:20:30
Speaker
I've seen it with my daughters being college dancers and high school tennis players that sometimes they start start that inner dialogue of what they say to themselves and it can it can easily lead to a spiral.
00:20:42
Speaker
Do you have things, Bryker, by the way? We've asked athletes this in the past that have brought up similar things that you've said, but sometimes it's helpful to talk to people who've been trained in these aspects, the mental part of sports. And I'm sure there's some resources at BYU there and that that you've had that.
00:21:03
Speaker
What have you learned about that inner dialogue and how to talk to yourself as an athlete? Yeah, I... I think it was I was pretty fortunate.
00:21:14
Speaker
um When I did my first year at Utah Tech, ended up transfer entering the transfer portal to try and and go somewhere um to just kind of see if I can push myself competitively and play at a higher level.
00:21:27
Speaker
um And BYU reached out to me. um And obviously i accepted told him I was coming. And i was pretty fortunate in that ah that time where BYU had just gotten a new head coach. So Trent Pratt had just been put on and he had been there for about a year.
00:21:46
Speaker
I had played for his brother in high school. um He was my high school coach. And I was just the biggest, I thought, very, very highly of um the other coach Pratt in Desert Hills.
00:21:58
Speaker
um And so when I heard he had the job, like I was like, you know, what if I can play this year and play really well, I think I could have a shot at getting, you know, getting myself there just as an athlete. And um so I was pretty fortunate.
00:22:13
Speaker
When I transferred, Trent was now year old head coach. um And that means he was kind of looking for different coaches to come in and fill spots.
00:22:25
Speaker
And so when I joined at BYU, we had two new assistant coaches. um And one of them was Adam Law. um And I bring up Adam Law because he was...
00:22:36
Speaker
um very big on the sports and psychology mental game. And so he actually i got a degree from BYU, played baseball at BYU, got a degree in psychology. he ended up playing for the Dodgers for a while.
00:22:53
Speaker
He ended up getting released from the Dodgers and then spent a lot of time going to school and and doing mental performance um and those things. He might have done that through his time in the minors with the Dodgers. Yeah.
00:23:09
Speaker
So we got, I was very, very fortunate to get him. um And I had just come off of a season with Utah Tech where like I played really good um and I was pretty good for a freshman, but I also hurt my back. And so I had only played half of a season. And so Trent was kind of taking, you know, some some luck on, hey, I hope it turns out like I've heard good things from your coaches at Utah Tech. I have, you know, my brother talks good about you.
00:23:36
Speaker
And so I was pretty fortunate. ah to to get that opportunity. But when I was going there, Adam had just came on, Adam Law. um And that was really, really big for me um because he taught us quite a bit um as the mental performance side of baseball.
00:23:55
Speaker
um And so he would run us, you know, collectively as a team, he would do kind of different things mentally, um things that would help us and cues that could help us um be able to just kind of shift the way that we're thinking about the game.
00:24:12
Speaker
um Because I think, like we have already kind of talked about, is is I would say he has really taught me to not be so focused on the outcomes of what has happened.
00:24:24
Speaker
Because like we've talked about, right, you can come and show up and hit the ball on a line drive, which as a hitter, that's a success. But you could get out four times, right?
00:24:35
Speaker
Um, on the other side, you could show up and hit four home runs or on the other side, you could show up and strike out four times. Right. Right. So there's kind of, um, like we've been talking about the process within the process, right? Like we talked about it a lot.
00:24:52
Speaker
Um, and he really, really, really etched into us that, you know, not to be controlled, don't let the outcomes control you. But if you're able
Learning from Failures and Parental Support
00:25:02
Speaker
to show up every single day and worry about the process and and stay diligent in and disciplined in your routine and having a routine and showing up and and telling yourself that, hey, it's goingnna we're going to be good. We're going to work through this um or whatever your day may look like. right And so I think he kind of helped me.
00:25:22
Speaker
um The big thing learn is it's never as good as you think. But it's never as bad as you think. Right? Because I think as an athlete, it's very easy to be like, oh, I had a great game. My coach is definitely going to start me.
00:25:37
Speaker
But then you wouldn't be in the lineup and you'd be like, oh, what happened? Right? I just had this amazing day. Yeah. And then you could show up and be really, really bad. And you'd go home and be like, oh my coaches saw that. I'm never going to play.
00:25:49
Speaker
But then be in the lineup the next day. Right? So it's like, it's never, I think that's the big thing for us, like as ah as a team, was that it's like, hey, it's never as good as you think.
00:26:01
Speaker
And it's never as bad as you think, because that kind of helped us, or at least me, it helped me stay very, very neutral. And just kind of what I thought about about myself, right? And helping myself push myself while not getting a big head, but also not letting myself get really, really down on myself and say that like, hey, I suck.
00:26:22
Speaker
Right. Right. So I think that was the big thing that I learned from him was that like, hey, it's never as good as you think. And it's never as bad as you think. Right. That's cool. Justin, what would you say to that as a college quarterback that the importance of remaining neutral? Rikers emphasized that two or three times, that that phrase. I'm sure there's different ways to say it, but not too high, not too low, but kind of in that and that neutral space. What have you learned that helps you to do that?
00:26:53
Speaker
Yeah, that that exact never too high, never too low, never as bad as you think, never as good as you think is, I mean, super big in kind of the football film world.
00:27:06
Speaker
After a game, after practice, you kind of hear that a lot depending on where you are. And and I certainly heard it a lot, but it was exactly right. Like,
00:27:17
Speaker
you come off of a really bad practice or a really bad game and you go through the film and it's all right. Yeah. There were still some mistakes and stuff like that, but it wasn't horrendous. Like your, your emotions in the moment are always going to exaggerate things. And so going back and looking at it very objectively, always kind of brings you back to that middle. And, and I think in a way for me, it really helped, um,
00:27:45
Speaker
my mentality of games and practices and and just going through that because at the end of practice, if I felt like i had a bad practice, you can kind of rely on that of, no, it probably wasn't that bad. Like, we'll we'll see on film. I don't think it was that bad. And so it kind of brings you up a little bit. And then, like you said, Breiker, if you get too high, get a big head and you think, oh I just had the best best game of my life.
00:28:12
Speaker
this didn't have any incompletions, had a few touchdowns, like we won. And then you go back and watch the film. It's like, yeah, we played pretty good, but there were still a lot of opportunities that we missed out there. And and I think that's the beauty of sports is that it's always going to be that way of you can never really have a perfect game, even for like a pitcher in baseball. If you throw a perfect game, they could probably go back and say, I probably would have thrown a different pitch on this exact one. And it ended up working out, but
00:28:45
Speaker
I it probably could have done it could have been done better and so I think that's that's the beauty of sports and and it goes back to life after sports as well that you can always reevaluate and there's never going to be a perfect day in the sense of every single thing you did that day you couldn't have improved on and I think that kind of plays into the the the principle of when the hour and especially for athletes of we're looking each hour of every day to, to win and do the best that we can and, and have a perfect hour and then keep stacking them up.
00:29:22
Speaker
And it's really hard. Like ah Dustin always says to go 16 to no in a day. that's a pretty tough feat. Um, and even if you do go 16 and o there's probably a few things that you would have changed to make it even better. Um, and so I think that plays in, ah really well. Um, I always liked kind of, I really liked when people described me as kind of that neutral, that even keel, ah kind of personality of,
00:29:52
Speaker
Yeah, you you're just super level-headed, and and you never get out of control up or down. And for some guys and for some positions, I think i think you need it a little bit.
00:30:06
Speaker
but ah But for quarterbacks and pitchers, most most baseball positions, really, they're not. and In every sport, you you need that of of certain guys that can kind of just level out the room and level out your team. And I think you need that everywhere. You need that in your families. of You need to be able ah to level out the kids and and level out your marriage and and everything there. of if If everybody's just on this roller coaster of emotions all day, every day,
00:30:40
Speaker
that gets pretty tiring, uh, for yourself and it gets pretty tiring for those around you. Um, and so it being able to to have that kind of level out and have people around you that are that way. um i mean, everybody's a little different. So there are people that are more high and low.
00:30:59
Speaker
And so being able, if you are one of those people, surround yourself with people that can keep you level and and balance you back out a little bit. And then if you're one of those people that that is kind of the leveler,
00:31:12
Speaker
go be friends with people that are, that are a little high and low. Cause I mean, we have all girls I need that a little bit is I'm, I'm too level sometimes of, I can, I can get a little emotion in there and and show something of, I mean, you'll hear that sometimes of show, show something like, are you alive? You just a robot, but you you can get a little bit of that in there too. Yeah.
00:31:36
Speaker
yeah I could tell you both being, um, the elder statesman on this, on this podcast, uh, the skills that you learned of keeping things, you know, taking a group of people and Hey, come on, let let's concentrate, whether it was high or low, um,
00:31:59
Speaker
especially, you know, being the dad of all girls. um I've used that skill that I learned many times, many times to to try to you know, bring some of that, but it's really actually important in life. And I think it is one of those lessons that,
00:32:17
Speaker
that we learn, i I've really heard kind of two major lessons here, Bryker, from your experience. One is focus on process, like find out where you want to get and then create a process that can be adjusted as you look at more effective ways to get where you want to get, but have a process and stick with it.
00:32:37
Speaker
We had George Niang on and um from the Jazz and George talked about a time where he went just for a summer that's all to Golden State and he was traded and then did a summer league with them and then was traded before the season even started but what he realized when he did that and he actually attributes his sticking in the league to this moment is he realized Kevin Durant and Clay Thompson, and Steph Curry, they all had this daily process that they did every single day. Like, he knew exactly where they were going to be, at what hoop they were going to be, what drills they were going to be doing. They had a process.
00:33:20
Speaker
And George was like, I don't have a process. I come and do what people tell me to do, and then I just try to put in time, but it's not very intentional.
00:33:32
Speaker
And And that word of being intentional, just whether it's life or sports, where do I want to get and what will get me there? And then just be dogmatic about following that process. And if you realize that process isn't what you want, it isn't getting you exactly where you wanted to get, then learn from people, adjust the process and stick to it. But if you're an athlete or a parent who's listening to this and you can't tell me, articulate what your process is, like this is what I do.
00:34:08
Speaker
Mondays, I do this. Tuesdays, I do this. Wednesdays, I do this. You don't have a process. And and so that's that's one. And then this idea of not getting so emotionally attached to the highs and lows that come with sports or life, but understand if you're doing the process,
00:34:30
Speaker
you're on an upward trajectory, even if it's, you know, kind of a wavy upward trajectory and you're going to get, you're going to get, if not where you want to get, you're going to get higher, um, on that, on that path. And so those are, those are some of the most wonderful lessons I think that sports teaches. And knowing that, parents should then lean into those lessons and help kids develop a process. And when they
Parental Influence and Pressure in Sports
00:34:56
Speaker
have a bad game, don't talk about the outcomes of the bad game. Talk about the work that they put in.
00:35:02
Speaker
ah When they have a you know, a great game. Sometimes we just, we take them and we give them $5 for every home run and take them to get snow cones. And we, we focus so much on these outcomes of things that then when the outcomes aren't there and the snow cones aren't there and the $5 attaboys aren't there, then all of a sudden they start thinking, gosh, I, I am failing.
00:35:28
Speaker
But as a parent, if we're talking about this stuff that we're talking about, like, you know what? I'm proud of you. I'm proud of the way you reacted to going 0 for 4 today. i'm I'm proud of the way you reacted to that interception that you threw.
00:35:41
Speaker
And I know you've put in the work and you keep going and and those will become less frequent. And You'll have more success. And today was a tough day. That's okay. I know you're putting in the work. You're going to get where you want to get.
00:35:54
Speaker
We could train that into kids by the way we talk to them. And nothing's worse. I'm like going on a little diatribe here, but there are dads that put their kids in the car that are nine, 10, 11 years old and yell at their kids for the way they performed in a game.
00:36:12
Speaker
and And that's just crazy to me. And they think they're helping them. It's just crazy that they think they're helping their kid by trying to intimidate them into a good game.
00:36:25
Speaker
is Instead of talking about process and helping them stay on that even keel that you're talking about, that neutral emotion that helps them perform better. So great stuff, Bryker and Justin.
00:36:39
Speaker
you mind if we switch topics a little bit or do either of you have a thought you want to tack on to the end of that one? Riker, I don't know if ah if you ever had that experience growing up, but I've definitely had a few of those of you're getting back in the car and and you see it on social media now too of kind of our more of our age of kids that'll post something like that. And they're sitting in the car and it's like just waiting to waiting to get yelled at, waiting for the worst car ride of their life. And I think there's probably a lot of kids that have struggled through that and and maybe stopped playing sports because of that. and
00:37:15
Speaker
I mean, that's, that's a big shame to think about that. um But yeah, making sure the parents out there know the kids aren't trying to do that. Like they're not trying to go over for four with four strikeouts today. They're, they're not out there trying to throw four interceptions or get the ball stolen from them in basketball 15 times, have a bunch of turnovers and missed a bunch of three pointers and all that stuff. Like,
00:37:42
Speaker
They're trying to. And so I think focusing on that process of things is is super important because as parents teach that, then it gets instilled into the kids more and more and they can start to become better and and really focus on the things that really matter where the outcomes will they'll come.
00:38:04
Speaker
I love the the book
Teaching Resilience through Sports
00:38:05
Speaker
about Bill Walsh. The score takes care of itself. And the whole book is about just the process of things. Like, this is how we operate. This is how we do things. And if we do them the right way, the score takes care of itself and we don't have to worry.
00:38:21
Speaker
Absolutely. Just to add on, I think, i think too, it can almost kind of, be a skill to teach your kids how to deal with failure. Like growing, like, i don't know, like I think about my time as an athlete and man, dealing with failure can be really, really like having hard games.
00:38:39
Speaker
Um, and then trying to come, like I, I got married after my first year. And some of the hardest times for for my first year of marriage was coming home from a game and I had hurt my wrist and I felt like I just was deflated, like I couldn't do anything. And I remember coming home and I would almost let it affect who I was away from the baseball field. Like I would have such a hard time with not playing or or not playing as good as I hoped and and
00:39:10
Speaker
all the outcomes were just eating me away, then I would come home and like, I would sit on the couch and not want to talk to my own wife or not want to do, be there for her support her. Right. And so I think as a parent, just to tack on to what we're talking about, like it can be like teaching your kids how to deal with failure can like be a skill for them.
00:39:31
Speaker
Like now I think about my life and like, man, there's so much in life that doesn't go our way, but it's just a situation. Like, there' i mean, you can be driving down the road and pop a tire and miss a meeting, right? And like, those are like really worldly failures that happen day to day. Like there's going to be things that happen in your life.
00:39:55
Speaker
um and being able to learn how to deal with them can come from being an athlete. Like I think of a lot of the things that go in my life, the things that don't go my way.
00:40:08
Speaker
I always think about me as an athlete and being like, okay, like, this is This is not the end of the world. This is just the situation. How can I overcome it? How can I solve this?
00:40:21
Speaker
And then that helps me a ton with everything. So I think, and I'm not a parent yet, so I have... I have no reason to say or how to parent. um But I think helping your kids while they're young learn how to do that um will really, I think, set them up. Like I think I wish as a young kid growing up, I wish I would have known that earlier.
00:40:46
Speaker
just with college and being married young and going through athletics and the determining a career. i think there's those things that I wish if I could go back, I wish I would have told myself a lot earlier.
00:41:00
Speaker
and And to be intentional about it. Like those moments are going to happen in sports. The great thing is sports are going to provide moments of failure. Like no one here has to be listening to this going, well, I hope my kid has a chance to be resilient, but they go for yeah for every single game and they've never lost, you know, that you're going to lose and you're going to fail.
00:41:21
Speaker
But being intentional as a parent, about learning the lesson or as a coach, you know, gathering the team after and saying, okay, look, we just lost, but we're process oriented.
00:41:34
Speaker
We're going to hit it again tomorrow. We know why we lost. We're going to look at the film and learn even better, but then we're going to, we're going to put a process in place to continue getting better. And as we start doing that, we could be intentional about helping young people to learn that.
00:41:50
Speaker
And
Motto 'Eyes Up, Do the Work' and Personal Growth
00:41:51
Speaker
so, yeah, great, great point. Well, Bryker and Justin, don't want to keep you too long, but I do want to close with a question here. Bryker, we said that, you know, as a young man there at Desert Hills High School, you went to an Especially for Athletes presentation. You know, our motto is eyes up, do the work. and And we want to focus on helping athletes use their position as an athlete two to keep their eyes up looking for people around them that they can lift and they can help.
00:42:24
Speaker
And then to actually do the work when they see those opportunities to help and lift other people. I did too. And I'm just curious over the years now, as a as you've tried to to live that and to help people to do that, what have you learned about keeping your eyes up and doing the work?
00:42:49
Speaker
um Yeah, I... For me, like growing up through the, especially for athletes, um I think that was a pretty cool thing for me. It was like eyes up, do the work. um My mom growing up was always...
00:43:02
Speaker
pushing me to, to, Hey, like do your best in all you do. Like, remember who you are. ah remember the name on your chest, you know what mean? And, um, so I think for me, like that is a big motivator for me, um, is just remembering kind of who I am and then also like who I want to become.
00:43:22
Speaker
Um, like naturally I think all of us want to be good and successful people and and hard workers. um And so I think, you know, for me at a young age was like just pushing myself to have some values, like values that were meaningful to me.
00:43:43
Speaker
And like who I wanted to be 10 years or in three years from now, right? Or even in two years, like who do I want to be? um I think it goes very well with that motto that we have of, hey, eyes up, do the work is is also true for right who who we want to become, who we are trying and striving to be. like Are we trying to push ourselves to be the best that we can be and and maintaining true to the things that we want to do and and how people want to recognize and know who we are?
00:44:23
Speaker
Well, that's cool. I like that. It's kind of reminded me of a saying of like, you're kind of setting your compass, like looking at where you want to go and then making sure we have the right steps to get there. And And our map is, our course is set.
00:44:41
Speaker
We, uh, we know which way we're going and then we just got to do it. Like that's such a big focus of, especially for athletes is that second part is, yeah, we need, the first part is we need to know what we're doing, right? We got to have our eyes up. We got to be aware. Um, we got to be looking for other people, um,
00:45:01
Speaker
And I mean, there's a lot of different things that we can say with eyes up, but I think the do the work is a lot more clear, um kind of like the Nike of just do it. Like but we got to do the work. um And if we have our eyes up and know what the work is supposed to be, that becomes pretty clear. And now we just have to do it. Yeah.
00:45:23
Speaker
I really like the saying I heard a little while ago of like our, our future is based off of our next actions. Our future is not based off of our past actions.
00:45:36
Speaker
And I think that goes along well. Like you have a, a past and you you have history of whatever you've done in your past. It might be good, might be bad, but that's not determining your future. Your future is getting determined by your next steps, your next actions, the next things you're going to do to to do the work. And I think that kind of ties it in of, yeah, we, we've got to do something about it. We can't just have our eyes up, but doing the work gets us to kind of those goals and, and those places that we want to be as athletes, as people, as men, as women, whatever we want to be, uh, whoever we want to become, that's how we get there. And
Inspirational Stories and Conclusion
00:46:21
Speaker
I think, I think that works in well, but.
00:46:24
Speaker
any ah Any last thoughts, Breiker, of um any shout outs or anything of of people that have had big influences on your life? I know you mentioned your your baseball coaches and things like that. yeah any ah Any other ones that you'd like to include on there?
00:46:42
Speaker
Oh, man. I mean, I think all my coaches, I could probably go on forever about kind of my coaches and and and how many I've had. um But yeah, all the ones, you know, growing up as a little kid, I remember.
00:46:58
Speaker
There's Jeremy Weibright. I mean, there's there's so many that I could ramble on about. But um yeah, specifically just those BYU coaches, um i think they've really shaped kind of who I am. and and you know has helped me become kind of who I am now. and And I think they've played a big, big role in that as well.
00:47:21
Speaker
And to bigy piggyback off of what you just were saying, have you ever seen the movie Rudy?
00:47:28
Speaker
Dude, Rudy is like the best movie. Like it's my all-time favorite movie. Just in the fact that like how we're talking about Eyes Up Do the Work, right?
00:47:39
Speaker
With Rudy, like his story of going and wanting to be at Notre Dame. It's the same thing. like Growing up, Rudy was the little kid. He was picked on by his siblings.
00:47:50
Speaker
He was always getting pushed down. um Growing up, his family was always laughing at him when he would say, i want to play for Notre Dame. But like the goal for him was always the same.
00:48:01
Speaker
It was like, I'm going to play for Notre Dame. I'm going to play for Notre Dame. like No matter what. And so I think in a way of what we were talking about is like a lot of the kids... right They have this goal that they want to do.
00:48:15
Speaker
And like other people will kind of look down on it. And I think that's very, very normal. But like the movie Rudy, it was the same thing where it didn't work out for Rudy. Like he was a little kid. he was always getting pushed down, bullied, whatever.
00:48:33
Speaker
But until he was like, hey, I'm going to go do this thing. Rudy went and he he made the practice team. And then from there, it was like even worse. Like he was just always getting hit around, like beat up.
00:48:46
Speaker
And for the longest time would check the roster, didn't make the team, didn't make or didn't make the playing team. Right. um until the last game, right? And he made it and his family was there and what a cool experience. So that that always kind of plays in my head of, hey, like, if I have this goal, like, I can do it. It's just going to take a lot, right? And it might not look like Rudy's. Like, I hope not every journey is like that, but it may. Like, it may take getting beat up quite a bit to get there.
00:49:18
Speaker
And so I like, just to piggyback off what you're saying, Justin, I think, being able to to stick with your plans and just continue to believe in yourself and go through the process and continue to put one step in front of the other very, very important. I would say my coaches have helped me ah do that in my life a lot.
00:49:38
Speaker
Oh, that's awesome. and I think Rudy's a great example of like, it's not always the outcome that you want. Like maybe, I mean, he didn't end up being an all pro in the NFL, Super Bowl champion, Hall of Famer, but He did what he wanted to do. He did what he set out to do and he achieved his goal of playing for Notre Dame.
00:50:01
Speaker
And that's, it's going to look different for everybody. Like your goal might not be the exact same as somebody else, or maybe it is. And you're going to get to two different spots, even if you, you both put in that work. And so that's, I mean, that's the beauty of life where it you have a goal and set out to do that goal, do everything possible that you can to do that goal.
00:50:24
Speaker
And it's going to get you somewhere really cool and special. And, and you're going to get a ton of experience out of it. You're going to learn a ton and you're going to have an awesome story to tell out of it. And I think that's, that's what we're here for. Like, that's why, that's why we're doing it. That's, that's the beauty of sports and, and it translates so well over to life. So,
00:50:46
Speaker
Thanks, Bryker, for joining us for the Especially for Athletes podcast. We're grateful for you, for all the the work that you've done as an athlete, as an advocate for Especially for Athletes.
00:51:00
Speaker
um I think we ah can agree as ah as former athletes that we do have that influence on other people and and using that in the right way and making sure that we're being a positive light and and helping those around us is is what it's all about. Using our sport light for good.
00:51:23
Speaker
and uh uplifting other people around us and and making sure that they're getting the most out of their goals and their life as well um and making sure that we we don't belittle anyone uh we're not there to to pile on and kind of like rudy's family's journey of we're not we're not there to crush other people down we're we're there to lift them up and And to be those examples, those leaders in the community and in our schools and in our own families, too. So thanks for joining us, Briker. It's been a pleasure to talk with you. Thanks, Shad.
00:52:00
Speaker
um Had some great questions in there and we'll ah we'll see you guys next time. Eyes up. Do the work. Thank you for joining the Especially for Athletes podcast. To learn more about Especially for Athletes organization, get a copy of our book, The Sportlight, or to bring our program to your team, school, business, or organization, visit us at especiallyforathletes.org.