Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to the Captains and Coaches Podcast. We explore the art and science of leadership through the lens of athletics and beyond. I'm your host, Texel Quilkin, and today we're kicking off a new series, Dad on the Sidelines. I'm joined by two of my closest friends, Luke Summers and Dr. Patrick Ford. We've worked together for years. We've built curriculum in the child development space that is highly effective and targeted for kids walking to 11 years old. We were not only writing it, we were in the trenches molding it luke was leading his little girls through this practice dr patrick ford was out on the floor leading the coaches and having his kids lead the charge in class super fun and there are very few coaches in the world more prepared for this conversation than the three of us thousands of kids hundreds of coaches
Speaker: However, now Luke and Pat are on the sidelines, the opposite sideline, not the coaching side. Their kids are playing the sports and a volunteer coach is running the practices, leading the games, and their blood pressure is skyrocketing and they're biting their tongues hard.
Speaker: This episode, this series is for that coach, the parent who said yes to volunteer for four-year-old soccer and is now Googling what to do on a Tuesday while driving the minivan and the whole boatload of kids in the back to practice.
Speaker: We talk about defining wins at practice that then lead to success during the games. Why fun equals focus and why a tryout should never be more boring than church. Actual words heard by a kid at a tryout.
Speaker: reminder Reminder, you are not a thermometer. You are the thermostat when you are leading these practices. All right. So let's hear it for the volunteer coaches. This episode's for you.
Speaker: God bless you. All right. Hand it off to the boys. Here we go. Ready, ready and break. Tex is joining on his 2002 ThinkPad, 2002 Chromebook. Are you ready? Yeah.
Speaker: I'm ready, ready, coach. Welcome to the Captains and Coaches podcast where we, ah forgot my line guys. I'm sitting here with a couple of experts in the field, not necessarily coaching, but dads.
Speaker: They're stepping up, their young kids are entering into the world of sports and they get the opportunity to sit back and observe for the first time. rather than being in the mix on the sidelines teaching.
Speaker: Now they're cheering, observing practice. So we're here to explore this thing called dad on the sidelines. So I welcome Luke Summers and Patrick Ford. How are we doing guys? Outstanding. Tex, let me lay the groundwork here.
Speaker: So I know you assume everybody's listened to this. You're going to so many new listeners. Tex, Pat, and I have worked together in various capacities over the past, for all three of us over the past five years, Tex and I over the past 15.
Speaker: So we've got quite the background in friendship and brotherhood, if you will. And I want to correct something you said. It's not the first time I get to observe. It's the first time... that I'm a shared stakeholder with a coach for my kids impression and opportunity to like start a passion in sport.
Speaker: And the coach here is not a pro coach. We've been a part of like more pro coach programs in the past, all three of us. It's the volunteer coach. And that is the impetus of this call is like, there's a population out there that needs our help. Well, y'all's help. You guys are the experts. I'm kind of, I'm one part of that, I guess.
Speaker: but we're like three legs on a barstool, Tex. You know what saying? I know barstools very well, yes. Well, I i mean, we've we've developed curriculum specifically for coaches training and preparing kids to have success and take skills from movement and take it into life and have confidence with it. And we've also applied that and then coached kids personally, whether it's within sport or in this realm of development.
Speaker: So... What is the frustration like when you are sitting on the sidelines and you've repped all these negative things out of these volunteer coaches? I mean, thousands of times in professional coaches, but you see the good hearted nature in them.
Speaker: But I still it's like me going to a globo gym and seeing people squat. It's a freaking heartbreaker every single rep. What's it like being on that sideline? Well, for me, I'll start with this one, Pat, because I feel like I'm patient X on this conversation.
Speaker: Let me delineate the coach versus the coaching. Because where we're at in the Summers family is we're bequeathing are our most prized possessions, our little kids,
Speaker: to volunteer coaches. And listen, these coaches, I know they have jobs. I know they have lives outside of it. They're volunteering several hours a week out of their time to be the coach for a cheer squad, a gymnastic squad, a tumbling squad, a soccer squad, ah and even with my neighbor's kids, baseball, football.
Speaker: It's a volunteer thing, you know? And just the nobility behind carving out the time to be in that position and have... be put in the position as well to deal with other parents. Cause a lot of times parents ruin everything. um You know, like ah I'm grateful to have folks like that, my community who want to step up.
Speaker: And then there's the coaching, which is different, right? That's my frustration. And there is no, just like becoming a parent, there's no real book out there that I'm aware of at least that is like age, appropriate highly effective, age appropriate coaching philosophies for three-year-old soccer.
Speaker: And that's what I want to help create here, Tex. So what's frustrating and about it is I know there's so much opportunity to create a really positive relationship with some of these sports, but there's just basic things that are missed because well-intended warmups and drills and skills are are just not appropriate, engaging, and effective.
Speaker: And all it needs is a tweak here or there, and it could be orders of magnitude improved. And I just wanna shake these people, but I don't, cause I don't wanna be that parent.
Speaker: In love. Shaky. Yes. In love. I think we're identifying this archetype of individuals who are well-intentioned, but ill-equipped, right? Maybe if you're listening to this and you are a volunteer coach that we're describing here, and it's like,
Speaker: How did you find yourself in this position? Maybe it's because you want to be your kid's coach. They're on the team, your kid's on the team, which I think there's a lot to talk about there. Or maybe out of just a good heart, ah you know, a coach made impact on your life. You want to pay it forward in your community. So you're like four-year-old soccer is the place to start. And you find yourself now actually in the position and you're like, I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker: hey, we see you out there. and And so this call, I think, was born out of, hey, rather than complain on the sidelines and, you know, drag these people who mean well, but maybe don't have the tools, well, what if we gave the tools? And on the flip side, if you're a ah veteran seasoned coach who, man, you're coaching people at the the highest level, there are always awesome, great principles that I think we identify that you can derive to where, hey, if you can coach a four-year-old Listen, these same principles are going to apply at the highest levels of any given sport.
Speaker: Also within business, we're talking things like leadership, commanding attention, relating with others, creating buy-in, all these things happening at the four-year-old soccer level.
Speaker: So I think that's what's at stake here. that's That's what we can pull out of this thing of what we're seeing out there in the field and hopefully what we can identify here and the time we spend together. And grounding, I want to ground, like you've created good platform for our background a little bit, Pat and Tex, you were part of this too, as we traveled around and we, we trained a for a youth enrichment program that was based physical activity.
Speaker: And we brought in coaches that were part of big time franchise fitness models, heavy coaching development models, more in the adult space. And now they're coming to work with kids and they thought training was going to be fun. Like the training, like training for our coaching philosophy and style. It's like, Oh, I thought this was going to be a cakewalk. is going to be fun.
Speaker: This was one of the most well thought out coaching experience I've ever been a part of. It was extremely demanding and it's upped my game with my adult clients as well.
Speaker: So that feedback would come in, almost every event when we would have a profile like that. And I mean, we, how many asserts do we do guys? Like, so I think granted that's our own little Petri dish and it's not necessarily at scale, but that's where I think we can offer a lot of opportunity here based off those principles. I feel it's best that we start defining a win for these volunteer coaches.
Speaker: They're, perspective for success may be the result of the game. So we need to define and start with a win and then reverse engineer. What should they be feeling at the end of a practice? What should they be feeling at the end of a season that should feel like success, agnostic of the record?
Speaker: Because progress is going to feel very frustrating because sometimes the kids are listening, but they're not acting like they're listening. So well let's define success for these volunteer coaches.
Speaker: Man, you know, first of all, hey, for the coach out there or those parents listening, it's so tempting to latch onto those outcomes, those results and say, hey, we're going to find success by winning the game or no one's going to cry at one time in practice. Or it may even be subjective. and You say, hey, I'm going to get done with practice and it's going to feel great.
Speaker: But be encouraged. a lot of the fruit that you're going to reap are going to be from moments and seeds that you sow that you're going to say, i don't really know what I was doing. I don't know if this is working.
Speaker: I believe, and I think those of us on the call, the the win is going to be, hey, are you the conscious coach? Are you the conscious parent approaching this with intentionality? And the beauty of it is you get to define what the win is for your parents. You Have a primary stake in shaping the experience of these families, maybe playing this sport for the first time.
Speaker: Now, it's going okay, right? Because also now the pressure of it feels like that's ah that's a heavy burden. But here's the thing. What if just having fun and learning a little bit about soccer is a win?
Speaker: What if, hey, we went out there and our first practice, maybe we all cried, but at the end of the season, now no one cried. That is literally progress that if we don't know these things and start to just measure and just take note, you might just miss those if we're counting on winning every game or getting 100% participation.
Speaker: So I think first as a coach, you got to recognize you are the one that gets to define the win. So sitting down, setting aside time, maybe with your co-coach and thinking about going into this practice when we walk away, what is the win going to be?
Speaker: And then holding on to that and speaking that out, naming it to your parents and your players. The more specific you are with that praise or outlining what that positive outcome is, the more your parents and your kids are going to feel that.
Speaker: And now you get those dopamine systems firing. Hey, we we are making progress. It doesn't always feel like it when you're up close. But as we continue to zoom out, game or practice over practice, rep over rep,
Speaker: man, you're going look back after the course of just one season, even at a four-year-old level, and be like, wow, this thing actually works. Because, we hey, we've been coaching kids for a long time now. It does work.
Speaker: Luke? Yeah, the, and cause I, here's what I've experienced watching some coaches, even when I was assistant coach, head coach put in dribbling drills and passing drills for, for you soccer, dribbling and passing.
Speaker: Right. But like the premise behind passing Pat is sharing at four years old. Like it's just a foreign concept inherently with some of these young kids.
Speaker: i I suggested to him, let's get rid of the sharing piece of it. And it's like, kick the ball, run as fast as you can. Kick it hard or kick it soft, but you run as fast as you can.
Speaker: So when we shaped our, like what does a successful practice look like? And how do you know your kid is performing at the age appropriate level? It's like, they're having fun. They're running fast. They're chasing the ball.
Speaker: That's it. Like those are the big three. And then as a coach, I also told the parents that to set their expectations is if we can get all the kids To kick the ball, chase the ball, run as fast as you can, you know, or pick your three. And like, that's, that these are our talking points. If you feel like your kid's not engaged on the way to practice, you should say, hey, what going today?
Speaker: Kick the ball, chase the ball, run it as fast as I can. Like, anchor on those things and have common language, get the parents involved, help help them know where the goalposts are or what are we calling it? The wins, where's the win?
Speaker: And then when kids flake out, which they will, no practice is going to go as planned. You got to move the goalpost. And that's part of working with kids too. You got to redefine the win in the moment.
Speaker: you know We have a a performance driven culture that, man, there's probably never been more pressure as a parent these days. And I'm not sure social media is helping us.
Speaker: So as a coach, sometimes think about that kid that shows up to practice and it's like you can tell they're already on one. Maybe they're late. They're dragging their feet. Mom and dad just came off of work because we know practice at 530 p.m., 6 And we're looking forward to it all day. But little Johnny, he's just not even wanting to join in on practice. Now those parents are embarrassed.
Speaker: All the other kids are playing. Hey, you as the coach get to be the gatekeeper to shape. What is the narrative going to be? Because remember, where where there's no spoken narrative, people make one of their own.
Speaker: Now these parents are thinking, because my kid isn't participating in one soccer game. we're not cut out for this. Maybe soccer is not for us or man, we're not good parents.
Speaker: All these narratives and they're typically going to be the negative ones suddenly start to spin up. Now imagine you, the coach, enter and say, hey, I'm so glad you're here. You know, just showing up, you're winning the game.
Speaker: And sometimes as a parent, especially when you got multiple girls over there in the summer's house, all right, or over here with multiple girls too, it's like just showing up places dressed is like a miracle.
Speaker: Yeah. And hearing that from you as the coach, all of a sudden deescalates for that parent and says, hey, now I can teach my kid. Hey, we still show up even when we don't feel like it.
Speaker: And then don't be surprised, coach, if by the end of that practice, little Johnny is now in the fray and he's hopping into it. And now. Because we hung in there and encouraged our families.
Speaker: Now we get to focus on the things we actually want to do, which is coaching the sport. That all started because you're helping those parents define a win today as we showed up. And now we're in the game. And now we get to focus on the next time. What's the win going to be? And that's the beauty of this, coaches, is it never stops.
Speaker: You're going to define what a win is. And you may be way off target. And it's not even age appropriate. But now you get to glean from that and say, oh, hey, coach, we were too far forward.
Speaker: Let's come back to kick ball, run fast. That's it. And now we're playing the forever game, falling in love with process over performance or effort over outcome.
Speaker: Or now we are just fine and falling in love with that day-over-day process of showing up. Speaking of definitions, a wise man once said, fun equals focus.
Speaker: When coaches, volunteer coaches step in, they want to think discipline and they want to mirror the last coach that they had, which most likely in their career is either a college or a high school coach who wanted to put the hammer down.
Speaker: Speak to us about leading with fun versus and energy and enthusiasm versus leading with boundaries, period, discipline and being being a hard ass.
Speaker: so i think and I watched parents on the sidelines discipline their kids during our practice and then coaches discipline. And it's not like, it was well within acceptable, ah like no one's doing anything crazy, but you gotta, you gotta to go to the source and first principles with this age group.
Speaker: That downtime is the enemy of focus. So that's where I think practice planning, you're like, If you're finding that you're over disciplining or trying to herd cats and wrangle cats, I would look at your downtime.
Speaker: Number one, downtime is boring. So there's fun factor woven into that too. Like, are your drills and skills overly technical? or Or, you know, can we be doing the same thing as like, ah so the coach did a great one. So they they did this dribbling drill that was so boring.
Speaker: It was so boring. It's little tiny kicks for working on ball control. But she called it walk your dog. And like the kids were walking their little dogs, imaginative, like bringing an imaginative play to it, a boring drill like that.
Speaker: kept them engaged. Then were played in like, we worked on this other drill that was basically, you know, kind of like a Bozo buckets, work your way back, try to kick the like big kick into the net.
Speaker: But there was no imaginative component to that. And these kids just lost it. Right. The other thing is we're kicking one at a time, tons of downtime. So in that moment, there were several parents disciplining their kids from the sidelines because there's downtime, attention is lost, engagement is low, but totally avoidable, totally avoidable.
Speaker: you know And then I think if you you shape the practice right, shape the drills right, honor like a no more than 10 second downtime per kid type of principle,
Speaker: you're gonna get like the high level objective, which is parents want their kids walking away from practice tired, thirsty and hungry and ready for bed.
Speaker: And the whole family wants to say, man, that was fun. That was really fun. They don't wanna to go home. this you know If mom's at practice, she doesn't wanna go home and tell dad, man, little Jimmy would just would not pay attention.
Speaker: That's not, you know that's avoidable. It's avoidable. That's all I'm saying. i'mnna I'm going to bring this up at a high level. Think of our high school kids and our college kids that we're working with. And first, if I'm talking to the coach and maybe the narrative is, man, I just can't get these kids to care.
Speaker: Man, I just like there's no buy in on this team or man, they don't want to listen. I just got to discipline these kids. All right. And I've heard that narrative. Maybe you're saying it to yourself.
Speaker: Well, Pause for a moment. And if we hold the mirror up to our ourselves first, coach, and we've heard that on this podcast and first coach examine ourselves, maybe with some extreme ownership, quote, our guy out in San Diego is, Hey, are you creating an environment that,
Speaker: facilitates your kids to want to care are you leading with fun or relationship that opens up the door for buy-in because when we're talking about four-year-olds capturing attention if it's not fun they do not care right yeah we take this all the way down to the two-year-old level here at our preschool when we're working with our two-year-olds safety is number one because of course And number two is fun.
Speaker: And we're doing like high level curriculum here, school, academia. But if kids aren't having fun, they're not going to have that focus. They're not going to going to want to care. And fun is that bridge that builds trust, that cultivates relationship, that opens the door for that mentor relationship that got you to step in as a coach in the first place.
Speaker: You're looking to be that role model. So again, first check, hey, if you're hearing your parents from the sidelines starting to coach or direct their kids, hey coaches, that's your mirror. Hold that up really quick. That is a good litmus test of, ooh, I'm losing them.
Speaker: I'm probably having too much downtime. Also worth mentioning, even when it's fun and engaging, you'll lose them. And four-year-olds are going four-year-old. Mm-hmm. Like I would consider myself more akin to a golden retriever on the performance fund index. I like to have a good time.
Speaker: And let me tell you, this guy, I have been in some practices of like, it's like, Ooh, this is a little tough. I'm looking around and this is getting uncomfortable. I've got parents watching me, man, four year old baseball. Let me tell you.
Speaker: The beauty of it is I walked away kind of licking my wounds, kind of beat up. But now I'm fired up to say, OK, what am I going to different? This is the art of coaching. This is what is going to sustain you and get you excited to go back to the drawing board.
Speaker: Hold on. You're telling me, so you lost, you, Pat Ford, lost control of a four-year-old practice. Tell me about this. Well, let let me tell you, when you're coaching baseball, okay, you're going to learn very quickly.
Speaker: When you have a team of 10 four-year-old boys and new four-year-olds having just one batter at a time, ain't it, Coach? Yeah. right Because now we're talking, what are the other nine boys doing while you're pitching to this one batter? And he ain't going hit it on the first time.
Speaker: Yeah, so it's the format of the sport. Right. So you're working within the the domain of the sport because I'm trying for those like I've gotten to work with Pat and seen him coach a thousand classes with four year olds and a guy who can maintain kids attention better than anyone I've ever seen is Pat Ford.
Speaker: um But text, take it. I know you got something. took my nephew to baseball tryouts and the tryout was infinitely more boring than the sport is. They basically lined up every kid from a to M and then two hours later was N to Z and a through M ran too long. So you had this extra, extra, my nephew's last name, Radigan. So we had this extra delayed, but then each kid got 10 swings and,
Speaker: And then they waited in line again to get 10 pop-ups and then 10 throws to first base. And it I wanted to lose it. And I definitely told this story when I was presenting ah two coaches with kids, but there was this kid behind me that screams, he's like, this is more boring than church.
Speaker: And parents left and they still got on a team. Like, it's just, why are we doing this? And there was a bunch of coaches with their laptops taking notes on each of these kids. And they probably had some big beer league fantasy draft of these seven year olds.
Speaker: It was, it was insane, insanely boring, but like, I can't even imagine like what, what is going on within the brains here. Go. Yeah, and so like yeah baseball is a great one because organizing a practice, I feel like you can organize a practice in a manner in which you're you're skilling and drilling with kind of these these principles we're familiar with where it's like maybe five to one work to downtime ratio, right? But when you get into the scrimmage session, which is absolutely essential, how are you, like what what techniques are you using
Speaker: from our past, whether it's attention getters, mnemonic devices, imaginative play, to like try to keep them on task as best as you can to familiarize them with the sport, which is boring.
Speaker: ah Yeah, so we've identified a couple principles here. Number one, what we call it energy and enthusiasm. So coach, bring the action. All right. And your style may be different than this golden retriever.
Speaker: Find your style, lean into it. Some things we've already identified that are going to... lend themselves well to you are like, raise the stakes. So first of all, if we're doing some scrimmaging to replicate game scenario of one batter versus, you know, give or take five or 10 infielders, raise the stakes. Hey, these, these are teams. We need some team names and not red versus blue. I need Velociraptors over here versus Megalodons, team Skittles versus peanut M&Ms.
Speaker: And make sure those boys and girls know those team names and feel like, hey, even in this practice setting, like we're competing a little bit because kids want to compete. Then use their names.
Speaker: Okay, coach. I've heard it before. I'm not good at names. You are now. You're a coach. You care. So when you're redirecting that attention, hey,
Speaker: Use their name and and give them a specific action to do. All right. Jackson, watch the batter. Jackson, stand on first. All right. Jackson ready position. That specific call to action may be just enough to get a finger out of his nose and get ready to field a grounder throw to first.
Speaker: And then i think any time that, you know, working with those kids that you can get them to see the fun of it, the fun that you're having, you're leading by example. So I think as a coach, getting excited when a kid finally hits a ball, I call it touchdowns and home runs. I've seen more people cheer for the Dallas Cowboys guys I've never even met.
Speaker: When you have four-year-olds in front of you and you get to shape their entire experience about the sport, don't let your celebration be bigger than the boys on Sunday, than those kids that you are coaching right there on a Tuesday afternoon at 530. Get excited. Channel that.
Speaker: And, be surprised how that's going to feed off itself and get an energized practice. Yeah, that's good that's great because that was my experience with Poppy, our four-year-old.
Speaker: you know she got i she was She struggled. And so then I ended up just like, I knew that she just needed my, she needed me near her to be successful.
Speaker: Right. Cause she got hurt early on. So I was on the field with her and anytime she did anything, I shouldn't say anything. I use my instincts to find like when we leveled up on something, whether it was,
Speaker: She became courage enough to jump in and get a little further away. She got the ball in the net. She got three or four dribbles in a row. Yeah. It was like grand slam celebration, you know, Poppy, you did X, man. That was awesome.
Speaker: You know, and all the parents on the sideline probably i think I'm a crazy person. I was certainly more energetic than the coaches, which they to their credit, they're just trying to survive out there, man. I knew it. I knew it. But, um,
Speaker: That's important. That is. I remember too, Luke, there was a time you and I were writing some programming and we studied a great book called the the power defining moments, chip and Dan and Heath shout out.
Speaker: And they talked about these moments in our life that are concrete in your memory, big moments. And they identified some common things and and two things you can apply to your practice coach. We already talked about raise the stakes and,
Speaker: All right. So, hey, like add maybe, hey, your best listener in practice gets an extra stamp or gets a sticker or gets to wear like a I've seen everything from like those chains with big team logo on it. Or like a if you have a team stuffed animal that represents the team or they just get to break at the huddle at the end of practice.
Speaker: You're raising the stakes, creates buy in. Number two, don't be afraid to break the script. Do the unexpected. Listen, coaches, I know you're already doing a lot with your work and your life, and maybe we're relying on ChatGPT write practice for us, but continue to draw inspiration from other great practices. Nothing's original.
Speaker: Maybe for one practice, what if we included all the parents? And instead of throwing the coach and practicing our catch, I need all the dads, or hey, I need all the moms. Don't forget about those A-plus moms. Bring them out there onto the the field.
Speaker: include them in of a sudden all your families are walking away maybe all their other experiences with team sports they were just on the sidelines but imagine the car ride home and it's like we were in practice as a family you talk about buying and creating those memories that's a powerful way do it coach So, yeah, and I think that's where a lot of these programs and coaches are missing too is let the parents know they're going to, like, get the parents involved, tow them into it, but set the expectation. Like, the the first practice, I was hoping for a huddle up.
Speaker: Hey, here's my philosophy. Here's what our big wins are this season, which is kind of how I ran it when I – and, like, nothing. It was just, like, there was no, like, chant – or huddle or cheer or clap or countdown to let everybody know, practice is about to start. Like bring the action, build the hype, come out of the gates running.
Speaker: You know, it was like, can you all please circle up? We're gonna warm up, do arm circles, you know, do some trunk twists. listen Okay, do you guys wanna do you guys want to get in line for me?
Speaker: And it's sweet and well-intended, but ineffective. The power of a whistle. I want to close this a segment out for parent, like our volunteer coaches.
Speaker: It's important to talk about your bandwidth, coaching bandwidth. We understand it where we position ourselves to lead a class of 15 four-year-olds so we can see everybody.
Speaker: That may new be a new thing. Pat, there's this little thing. Great coach once said alignment, assignment, technique. How are we positioning ourselves when coaching a group of kids to and increasing our bandwidth because sometimes there's a kid that doesn't want to participate.
Speaker: So how can a parent effectively manage the one kid who doesn't want to participate, but still engaging, keeping their eyes on or effectively leading the the rest of the team?
Speaker: I think first starting out with, hey, as a coach, you see that. And a real great way to make that child and family feel seen is simply letting them know and letting that child know, hey, I'm right here ready. When you're ready to hop into this drill, hey, we're not going anywhere. And same with that parent. I know if I'm a dad and I'm on the sideline and one of my kids is not really about it, we're not leaving, we're not going anywhere.
Speaker: But I'm gonna feel so much better if I see that coach interact with my kid so I still know and feel. That coach has seen my kid. They're providing the space needed because it's real awkward if you drop practice and everything you're doing and just perseverate on one kid. Well, you can't do that. You feel that coach. You got it. The show's got to go on.
Speaker: But something as simple as just saying, hey, Remy, I see you over here. When you're ready to hop into the drill, we're going to be right over here. I have a spot for you. And then continuing to invite Remy into the drill. Hey, Remy, you're up. You ready?
Speaker: with that affirmative call to action, right? Don't ask. Yeah, we've heard that one before. More action-based. You tell, Coach, all right?
Speaker: Tell them, we're ready for you, Remy. Let's hop in. And then the athlete still gets to decide, all right? And then close the loop on that, Coach. At the end of practice, follow up with that parent. Again, speak to what you were doing, you know, and say, hey, I was giving Remy some space during practice. I want to make sure that she's comfortable and ready to hop in on her time.
Speaker: here's what thinking practice. If you have some ideas and want to recruit that parent on some ways to get them engaged. Yes. And i feel it's important to reward that small win that they may have took, taken themselves out, but they also brought themselves back in. Oh yeah.
Speaker: So practice ball, helmet sticker, whatever it may be. We got to acknowledge that in front of the whole team. to let them know like that was a big accomplishment for them to get back into the, into the game.
Speaker: So Luke, I know you're a master of rewards and this is part of our pre prep conversation. I quickly explain like the the value and the benefit, because from my perspective, living in Texas and the the sports culture here, doing in your job, that's what you're supposed to do. It's expected.
Speaker: So they don't reward doing your job. but then they acknowledge when you don't. So it's almost this only time a kid gets acknowledgement is when they mess up.
Speaker: I think there's a couple ways to go about it. We talked about on previous podcast. I think, you know, one effective way, it depends on the kid and you kind of get got to gauge there their, receive like if they're receive mode, you know, ah you know, like tell them they should be proud of themselves. That was a big step up.
Speaker: man, you should be super proud. You're gonna get there. you just weren't ready yet. We're gonna get there next time. Don't you worry. And then find a time to talk about that kid in a positive context context with an earshot and either tell your other coach,
Speaker: You know, Hey, you see Remy out there? A little hesitant, but she got in there on that. That's amazing. She's going to she's gonna be a killer this year or whatever, you know, whatever's age appropriate there. She's gonna be amazing this year or same thing to mom and dad talk to mom and dad about the kid right in front of them in a positive sense.
Speaker: Um, let them hear the praise. And I think it's just starts to associate, uh, like positive outcomes with effort. And it doesn't have to like, listen, comparison is a thief of joy. I think that parents compared their kid to the best kid on the field. And that's like a tragedy.
Speaker: ah I think the responsibility of the coach is to help those parents individualize the progress and then celebrate the wins and let the kid hear it, hear about the wins.
Speaker: I just, it's just been really effective. To wind down this specific topic we're covering here for each of you, what would be the single biggest gap that you've seen this volunteer coach take on that's low hanging fruit that they could fix fast? That's, you know, yeah I'm going to have to dramatic pause there, Pat. I don't know. Are you ready?
Speaker: Yeah, I think, well, I think if there's just one thing I, I, I would give to all the coaches out there. i think it would just be to first slow down and just recognize what a gift you have in front of you. Not everybody gets to be a coach.
Speaker: So I think I'd go back to earlier what we were saying on the performance culture coach, slow down and just to recognize the responsibility that you get to have, that it is a gift and then take it serious. And I think you are, if you're listening to podcasts like this, you're looking to be better.
Speaker: And I think because of that, fall in love with that process of, hey, if we're just making every practice a little bit better than the last one, if I'm showing up, showing my kids, showing up that I care, that I'm excited about their efforts, about their attitudes,
Speaker: that you're going to see the actual tangible change, positive change you want to see in your athletes, whether it be better performance on the field, more engagement during practice or participation during practice.
Speaker: And then of course, winning games. Listen, if I'm, Looking at two teams, and I'm looking at the team that is warming up with ACDC Thunderstruck as they're taking the field. They're taking laps. They have team chants.
Speaker: Their coach is – he's got a jersey on. He's got a big old smile on his face. He's not sipping his coffee. He already had that. He is energized, caffeinated, motivated, concentrated.
Speaker: that's the team that's probably going to be taking the win because those are going to be the boys who are most bought in and excited to play hard for their coach. So I'd say hold the mirror up.
Speaker: It starts with you. Take it serious. And then just start to know and measure what am I doing? Is it working? Am I including those parents? Am I showing up with that energy? Because coach, guess what?
Speaker: You're not a thermometer. You're a thermostat. You set the tone. All right. They're going to feed off of you. All right, Luke. ah Mine's going to be more tactical, I think.
Speaker: Go for it. Pat, you're so inspirational. you vote never cease to amaze me. That's why we have both of us on here. I think, you know ah ah because I'm hyper-focused on this like seven-you thing, you know, with my kids.
Speaker: I think that practice needs to be less skill. Less skill work, more fun, like more energy, more fun. And I think that my, Tex, Google this or no, like research it or have the robots research it.
Speaker: Let me pull it up. ah My suspicion, Pat, and you might know, you maybe ask Chelsea, ask her, If we can like open, if you start start, come out the gate running, get the kids running, make the the very opening of practice as fun as possible. Nothing to do with soccer, nothing to do with cheerleading. Get them moving, get them laughing, get them tired, get the heart racing, get the wiggles, get the giggles out, okay?
Speaker: Don't give them water. They don't need water. What they need now is like the high skill moments. So now you dose them with two to three minutes of high skill, whether that's like um like learning the rules,
Speaker: or learning the movements or learning the techniques, you got to hit them right after that fun because they're in receive mode now. They're not going to hear like the noise of a four-year-old's brain and how it works is now super focused.
Speaker: So now that's your window to start plugging them into the matrix and teaching them. Then you got break out, get back to fun. So it's got to undulate. Right. And I think like, if you have a, I want, like, I think I would challenge coaches to fit, build a practice plan.
Speaker: That's like seven minutes bursts of fun, three to four minutes of skill and drill, seven minute burst of fun, three to four minutes of skill and drill, seven minute burst of fun scrimmage. I think my kids would do so much better with that. Now there's,
Speaker: There's variants of that because some are like dance routine based, whether it's cheer or dance or something like that. So maybe those change, but I'm thinking soccer right now. Text, that's like, get them moving, make it fun, lower the dose of the boring stuff.
Speaker: Yep. And have games in your back pocket. So when you do get frustrated, you just pull out that specific card. My favorite one is cone races, head, knees, shoulders, cone.
Speaker: And then they're listening, they're moving. And then now we we just bought ourselves a a three minute window of learning. Guys, this was awesome. We're going to continue this as a series because this is, I mean, parent coaches, you are the first line of defense. And Luke, you're very passionate about this for how kids, parents, families will treat coaches to go move forward into sports when they get competitive.
Speaker: So we're going end it here. No, Tex, no we're notre I got one more thing to say.
Speaker: I'll make it quick. I think there's this idea of coaches responsibility and these poor coaches. And I say that because from my world, not because of them, I'm relying on them to create a healthy relationship with sport and coaching.
Speaker: You know what i mean? As a parent, that's a lot like, that's a big responsibility. So volunteer coaches, like you probably have crazy dads like me who are very passionate about this stuff and they're trusting you.
Speaker: to give their kids an opportunity to fall in love with the sport you're coaching. So like put little effort into it. You know, it doesn't have to, I'm not expecting perfection either. Okay. Text send sign us off.
Speaker: Well, that is going to be a smooth transition into part two of this series, watching your kids get coached.
Speaker: We'll see you next time. And scene.
