Transcript
Speaker: Here we It's a Wednesday. in a real bummer on the ah proceedings immediately. I mean, i don't know if anything is a bummer in this the year of our Lord 2026. That's true. but Big 26 has been nothing but a disappointment for everyone, I think. Right? Like, speaking as someone, going to get real explicit right here. um Speaking as someone who's, like, normally horny as hell, thanks to romantic books, I'm 2026 really put a damper on that.
Speaker: um Dry as the bone, 2026. Dry as a bone. I can't stop fucking thinking about the Cornell case. And that's like really, it's, I mean, it's terrible.
Speaker: And I'm sure everyone feels the same way. It's, yeah. yeah Hard to be horny in this year of our Lord 2026. Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, ACOTAR 6 coming out in a couple weeks though, so maybe that'll do something. Maybe that'll do something. Maybe it'll be confusing disappointment. We don't know. I don't know. I promised myself I was going to do a reread.
Speaker: And here's the thing, Katie, yeah like you're the one. i love you so much for getting me back into reading. You got me. i got you back into reading. You got me back into reading. Oh, that's nice. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. You were the one that was like, i had like started listening to the audio book of it and I was like, I don't know. And you're like, no, no, no. Keep going. Keep going. The first book's Yeah. trash First book is trash. Here's the thing. It's not trash. It's actually brilliant. But it's such a, it's such a, um like a brave choice.
Speaker: Like she knew what she was doing the whole time. And you can see it when you're reading it. But like, it's, it's very subversive for the genre. Especially like if you read a lot of this stuff and you read the first ACOTAR book.
Speaker: especially by the end it's like if you don't feel conflicted about it then what is then then like that's that's on you you know like because all of the clues are there yeah they're all there like very subtly but like you're led if you going cold you think and spoilers for the first book of acotar court of thorn and roses you think that tamlin's gonna be end end game and yeah Because that's what you're led to believe by reading yes these books. Yeah, that's the yeah genre cliche. Yeah.
Speaker: Right. And so like ah you did a brilliant job of like not spoiling anything for me um and holding your tongue whenever I was just like, oh, Tamlin. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: um And then, you know, i read the second one and then I just, I couldn't stop. I could not stop. And I inhaled all those books. If we want to a reread, we could start now and we'd be done by the time the sixth book comes out. I know, right? You fly through them. Yeah. Right? I'm currently I don't remember shit like I don't remember i can't remember all the the the fantasy plot of that like I couldn't tell you so I really do need to reread them unfortunately Caitlin had took them I think I'm gonna have to get other copies of of yeah I've got Crescent City but oh nas akaar no they're in storage because she asked me for them I'm they're in storage unit yeah yeah
Speaker: Yeah. I'm probably going to do. Yeah, I should. i I need to get like, I have some of them because like I was buying them as I was inhaling them. And the first one I did, the audiobook. The second one, I borrowed your copy. And then I have the rest. But like, um I need to rebuy the first two so that I've got like the full set. Yeah.
Speaker: and i I mean, but like looking back and like now that I've inhaled so much more romanticcy, I'm like, so much of that plot was just so dumb. So fucking dumb. So fucking dumb. And my favorite um like fan um theory is that, and I don't know if I've shared this with you, is that Thera is a terrible artist.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And everyone's just like humoring her. It's like, oh, yeah, that's great. Oh, that looks so good. but it's like a stick figure. I've been playing Stardew Valley again because I'm depressed. Yeah. And do you know Stardew Valley?
Speaker: I do not. What's Stardew Valley? It's a video game. Okay. It's you are, ah you have a farm and there's a little town that And there's various people that you can romance in the town. But mostly it's about like every, the seasons change and you get different vegetables and fruit, like fruit trees, like anything you can imagine pretty much you can, you can plant and grow and do you chickens and cows and pigs. Yeah. It's so cozy and warm and it's just, it's the best. You can fish and get fish.
Speaker: If I liked games, I would. if i think I think you would like it. Madison Smith, past and future guest, Madison Smith past and future guest. Yeah. But all of my, because this this file that I'm playing is like two or three years old. Because, I mean, I've i've put hundreds of hours in this game in different files. But the most yeah one I'm playing right now is the one I started a couple years ago and stopped.
Speaker: All of my animals are named Feyre and Cassian and Asriel. All the things. Yeah. Oh my God. oh I love that. Yeah. Real a blast to the past. And no one's named Tamlin.
Speaker: Tamlin's dead. Yeah. Well, I guess we'll find out what's going about Tamlin. I think it would be like a big like turn. Who knew that this this would turn into like an ACOTAR fangirly moment. Hey, that's more on topic than a lot of our cold opens. At least it's related. yeah that's very true. But I think it would be it would be real powerful for SJM to ah to turn around and give us Tamlin as a protagonist book. Oh, that'd be rough. That'd be pretty hard. I know. Oh, the other thing is this is going to come out after the book is out. so Oh, shit. Well, then there you go.
Speaker: Yeah. There you go. um That's called synergy, baby. Yeah. So give us money. Court of Thorn and Roses. You don't have to.
Speaker: No, you don't have to. um Oh, but this is hard. Oh, crap. Um, ah Oh, caves are in the first court of Thorn and Roses.
Speaker: are I don't remember the caves, but I believe you. ah Famously featured in today's film. um I guess I could say like disappointing, disappointing protagonists.
Speaker: Famously featured in today's film. That's right, guys. You guessed it. This is...
Speaker: This is go get your ghoul. Ow. Ow. There's thunder. this is Famously the sound thunder makes.
Speaker: This is the podcast where Emma and Katie didn't have to fucking do this, but they decided to anyways. Go in a fucking cave for fun?
Speaker: Question mark, question mark, exclamation point. And deserve to die. I'm just going to skip forward to it. just so Because we chose to go into a cave.
Speaker: We'll get into it. So have you been into caves? Have you ever been in a cave? No. i I'm a rational human. Why would I choose to go into a cave? Well, some of them are like, like they like they talk about tourist attractions. like It's like, just yeah just to see it, they're beautiful. yeah there's um There's a bunch of, i've I've been in caves a bunch. I don't know why. like I'm not an outdoorsy person. Yeah.
Speaker: But I grew up in Tennessee and there, and, and, and there's a lot of like caves around the area. I mean, Mammoth Cave is in Kentucky. That's the biggest cave in the world. I've not been to that one, although i kind of want to go Yeah.
Speaker: But there's the Lost Sea, which is near where I grew up. And that is the, the country's largest underwater lake. And you get on the boat in this like lake under, in a cave. It's super cool.
Speaker: And there's all kinds of like animal, like fish and stuff. Can you see the sun? Like, I'll only go to a cave if you can see the opening. No, you can't see the sun. You're in a lake in a cave.
Speaker: You can't. Can you see, like, the exit? No. ah Well, then, no, I'm not going. there is And there's a bunch of other caves. There's Ruby Falls, which is a big waterfall that's under a cave. Now, that one is like you get in an elevator to go to that one. That one's, like, barely a cave. Okay. But there's other caves where it's, like,
Speaker: I just know, I've i've been to lots of caves. I remember in college, we went to like one of the local caves just ah for fun occasionally. But again, they're not like this. yeah no You don't have to rock climb to get into them. Yeah. Okay, that's a lie. I have been to one cave. I went to a cave in um in Bristol in the UK, but it wasn't really a cave so much as it was just sort of like a pathway through a cave and then you go from one opening to another. and you just Yeah, like yeah. There's a lot of them that are like that. There's there's one in um in Virginia that I've been to that's got literally just got a handrail. Yeah. And it's like, here's some stalactites. Yeah.
Speaker: However, when I was in camp, which I've talked about on this show before, went into like a real cave. Like where you're walking, you have to go through water and the water is up to your head. And like you just squeeze through. And that's in retrospect terrifying. Yes. Yes.
Speaker: This camp was probably not. And again, it's it's like teenagers that are leading us through this. It's like that is so like that's it's really fucked up in retrospect, but it was fun at the time.
Speaker: Jesus fucking Christ. No, thank you. No, thank you. And what you should never do and what one of the most dangerous things in the world that you could possibly do. yeah is go into a cave that's been unexplored. Unexplored. An unexplored cave.
Speaker: Why would you think that's fun? So that you can name it after yourself? No, thank you. No, that's stupid. That's fucking stupid. We'll get into it. What's this show called?
Speaker: I already said this is Go Get Your Girl. Oh, right. It's Go Get Your Girl. And who are you? I'm Emma. And I'm Katie. And I don't go in caves. Yeah. There's a letterboxd review I saw of this that says, caves, not even once.
Speaker: Yep. Nope. I love that. I love that. That'll be the tagline for this episode. Not even once. No, thank you. Been in caves multiple times. So this is, of course, The Descent from 2005, written and directed by Neil Marshall, who had made a werewolf movie called Dog Soldiers, which I've seen and remember thinking was cool, but not as good as this. Okay.
Speaker: And then after this, he's made a bunch of garbage. He made a movie called Centurion, a movie called Doomsday. And then like like you look at, I mean, I know IMDb ratings mean nothing. And they're mostly like like racists and misogynists who who write write these things. But it's one thing to go from like, you know, 8.0 like 6 to to to Like, yeah that's...
Speaker: that's That's insane. He's also directed a bunch of TV shows, including two of the best episodes of Game of Thrones. Oh, really? Which episodes? He directed Blackwater, and he directed um the season four finale, which I can't remember what it's called, but it's the one, it's the wall, the one on the wall.
Speaker: Oh, shit. He directed two of the big battle episodes of of Thrones. Oh, okay. Okay. Do you think he walked into the first day of shooting ah one of the the episodes of Game of Thrones being like, it's okay, guys. I'm the guy from The Descent.
Speaker: Yeah, I hope so. Yeah. um He's like, hello. Hello. Didn't i Didn't i Is he Australian or British? He's British.
Speaker: Okay. Because I know we've got like a mixture of... of Oh, I tell you. Clearly doing a British accent. Well, I didn't know if you were going like, crook. There's a crook over there. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. G'day.
Speaker: G'day. I'm Neil Marshall. I directed the cave movie. That was really good. Thanks. Yeah. um No, he is English. I don't know where he's from. i didn't yeah look up specifically.
Speaker: But yeah, this is a terrifying movie. Terrifying. This terbanks one of the scariest movies I've ever seen. i saw this movie in the theaters. Yeah. Oh my God. No.
Speaker: Yeah. a dark room? Yeah. with um With my friend Elise. It was, she had read about it on the internet and was like, hey, we got to go see this movie. And Then she also was like, okay, so there's, this is an American ending and we have to immediately see the British ending afterward. And so we went on YouTube.
Speaker: And looked up the actual ending immediately after seeing this movie. Oh, okay. And that is a huge thing. And so it's still unavailable in America. Like, if you stream this movie, and it doesn't have the the British ending. I remember, I know that um my friend Luke has the the British version on Plex, on a Plex server. So that's what I watched last night. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, it's crazy. Like one of the worst American endings of all time completely changes the the the whole tenor and mood of the movie. Like it's wild.
Speaker: wouldn't say it does that much. I mean, it's, I have more questions. Well, we'll get, we'll get to it at the end. we'll get to it at the end. Because I was left more confused. If you're going to watch this movie, I beg of you.
Speaker: To just have the ending ready on YouTube. It's like a minute longer. Yeah. And just watch it immediately after the movie. Yeah, yeah, which is what Katie told me to do after I was done fear texting her. My live experience. I didn't want to overwhelm you with texts because I think you were at work when I was watching this movie. I was at work, yes. But I, yeah, I literally famously did not want to watch this last year because it was too scary. She blackballed it last year. And I was like, okay, Emma, so next year? And she agreed. Yep. Yep. It gave me a year to build up the courage.
Speaker: And um it was still a big old nope. um Because, I mean, the beginning, you're just like, yeah, okay, fun, fun, fun, fun. fun sad, so sad, sad, sad. And then when they get to the meat and potatoes of it, you're like, and why are we doing this? Yeah.
Speaker: they're hard They can't get out. They're already there. Why are we doing this so many of the shots? I'm just like, i didn't realize how claustrophobic, like I knew I had some elements of claustrophobia in me, but like, I didn't realize how much claustrophobia I had in me until watching this film and watching them like crawling through those tunnels. And I was just like, nope, nope, nope, nope.
Speaker: If it makes you feel better, this was all shot on soundstages. This was not shot in a cave because that would be insane to shoot in a cave. It would be so dangerous and so expensive yep to shoot in a cave.
Speaker: So they didn't do that because they're not crazy. Yes. Thank God. Neil Marshall is not an insane asshole like Juno is. So he wouldn't do that to these women. Ha ha!
Speaker: Right? um The first of Emma's Fun Facts, Emma's Fun Facts is on set. the um The jokey title that everyone called it while they were filming it was Chicks with Picks.
Speaker: That's cute. Yeah. Isn't that cute? Yeah. Because they have picks. man Yeah. So we start off whitewater rafting in yeah England. And I guess they have whitewater rafting in England. It never occurred me. Oh, I think they're in Scotland.
Speaker: Oh, sure. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. That makes more sense. Yeah, ah that does make more sense. So they are, there's only three of them though i don't know where the rest of the the other two are. um Well, yeah. just It's just Juno and Sarah and yeah i think Rebecca.
Speaker: Yeah. That are rafting, yeah. We're whitewater rafting. And you're like, wow, so fun. The only man in the movie we get a brief glimpse of. Yes. This is an all women women cast. yeah the The man only has like two lines. yeah He is Sarah's husband. He is standing on the shore with Sarah's daughter. Yep.
Speaker: And they are, they're whitewater rafting and they're, you know, woo, yay, we're whitewater rafting. They're having so much fun It's so dangerous. and you're like, why would you show your daughter this? This is, this is, this is insane. They like extreme things. They're extreme sports people. And I'm like, isn't life extreme enough?
Speaker: They live, they're friends. We don't really know how they know each other. They're from all over the world. was confused. they, they meet once a year to do some kind of extreme sport thing. Yeah, it's their bonding. year they did whitewater rafting. And then there we have Sarah and her husband and her daughter. And they are in the car. Well, before that, like, as they're getting out, like, yeah juno and her Juno and her husband, like, have, like, a moment. And you're like, oh. Juno and Sarah's husband. Yeah, Juno and Sarah's husband and you're like, Oh, those two are fucking you immediately get the the thing that the the drift that something's going on. He's like helping Juno with her helmet. i like oh Yeah, and they have like lingering stairs and like, yeah, lingering hands like gestures and you're like, Oh, they're fucking that's yeah obvious. and Sarah doesn't notice. Yeah, she's too busy with their daughter. as they're driving, like he's just like really aloof and sort of like not he's just sort of like not really paying attention to Sarah. And she's like, what's going on with you? like Why are you being so standoffish? And he's just like, no, no, I'm fine. And you're like, yeah, because he's fucking your friend. That's what's going on. Yeah. um But instead of finding out that he's fucking your friend, instead, you get a jump scare of a fucking truck.
Speaker: And it it final destinations, her husband and her daughter straight up with a metal pole. Copper poles crash into the the windshield and impale her husband and her daughter. Yeah.
Speaker: And she wakes up in the hospital and there's this like this beautiful green as she's moving. it's like this this shit that She has a lot of these like hallucinations, like fantasy sequences kind of things in this movie. when She's walking through the hospital door walls and the lights are going off behind her and she's like running to stay in the light as as the as the but lights go off. And then it like snaps back to reality and her friends are there and she's screaming and then Juno is crying too. like yeah Yeah, yeah. And you're like, oh, because like, you know, won't like hug her. And um or her ever her friend, like immediately, her other friend, Rebecca, immediately runs up and like hugs her because she's like wandering through the halls and she like collapses because she's like trying to find her daughter.
Speaker: And um and, you know, instead is like feeling sorry for herself and crying. And then it's said later on that, you know, like immediately like peaced out. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. um The um then we have this recurring kind of. ah daydream nightmare kind of thing of it's it's very dark. And there's a ah birthday cake. It's her daughter's birthday cake it has five candles. Yeah. And the little girl is you can't see your head, you can't see your face, but she's looking down at the cake. And then that kind disappears. And we get one year later.
Speaker: Yes. And we are in North Carolina. Yeah. And you're like, Wow, wow we're so interested it's really it's really England. Yeah. england And it said they're at the Chattooga National Park, which is not real.
Speaker: Okay. i was like, where's Chattooga? It's not a real place. Do you think it was supposed to be Chattanooga? No. um I think there is a Chattooga River. Oh, the movie Deliverance takes place on the Chattooga River. It's between Georgia and South Carolina. It's the border that that forms between Georgia and South Carolina is the Chattooga River.
Speaker: Oh, cool. So it might be a reference to Deliverance. Yeah. Yeah. But it is, they're supposed to be in North Carolina, which would be the Smoky Mountain National Park is what national park it would be.
Speaker: Is that still Appalachia? It's Appalachia, but yes. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Appalachia? common ah ah Common non-southern pronunciation, but yeah yes.
Speaker: I'm not from that part of the South. I'm from me cow farms. You're from Friday Night Lights. Yeah, I'm from Friday Night Lights. Not from Dawson's Creek.
Speaker: I'm Friday Night Lights, not Deliverance. you Not Deliverance. So they are in North Carolina and they're they've arrived at the cabin. Sarah, I think it's Rebecca who has Sarah. It's Beth. It's Beth. Beth. Maybe be Beth is the one in the raft and not Rebecca because Beth is like closer with Sarah, I think. and Yeah. doesn't matter. I think it's Beth.
Speaker: Arise there with them and we meet the girls. There are six women in this movie. And they are Sarah, who is Scottish. Juno, who is American.
Speaker: Yep. Beth, who is English. Yep. Holly, who is Irish. Yep. And then Rebecca and Sam, who are sisters but have very different accents. Oh, they're sisters? Yes. I thought they were girlfriends. No, Rebecca and Sam are sisters. Yes.
Speaker: I thought that they were girlfriends because one of them is clearly from Sweden and the other one is like British or she's Dutch. I looked it up because I couldn't place that accent. But yes, I my guess was Swedish for the for Rebecca. And then Sam is Dutch.
Speaker: Nope, that's reversed. Sam is Swedish and Rebecca's Dutch. Oh, okay. I just just I because they kept saying love like these endearments to each other was like, Oh, well, obviously they're they're in love. They're dating.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah. Well, i mean, a lot of the girls call each other babe too, which is just, I think. yeah And also it's my um homophobia that just assumed a bunch of ladies that were um cave diving were lesbians.
Speaker: um I believe that none of them are lesbians. Yeah. Not even Holly? Well, Holly talks about men that she's dated in the past. Yeah. Oh shit. I thought she was in love with Juno. Well, there there is something like that. Well, she asks, well I need to ask Charlie this question because she said, um because ah Sarah, I think asks Holly, like, what kind of men do you like? And she says, Oh, I'm a sports fuck.
Speaker: And I'm like, is that a British expression? I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means either. I've never heard that before. Like you're so physical and aggressive. Like it's a sport to have sex with you. Is that what it means?
Speaker: ah Or maybe it means that you're into ladies. Well, no, because she talks about men. Like, she's she talks about, like, blokes that she dated and the stuff. of Yeah. i don't Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Who knows?
Speaker: um So Holly is a new person. She they she is Juno's friend who's living in America now, but is Irish. Yes, and she's her quote-unquote prodigy in terms of like this extreme sporting stuff. Yeah, and she's um very unpleasant and annoying. Yeah, she's so fucking annoying. Because she like it constantly is like running off and being like, she's like a three-year-old kid. She's like, la, la, la, la. Well, she's younger than the rest of them. like They say that she's under 25. Yeah. And we know that the other women are...
Speaker: In their thirty early 30s, maybe late 20s, early 30s. I think yeah that, I mean, Sarah is, you know, she had a five-year-old child. a five year old child so Yeah. It was also like 2005. So, I mean, you could afford to have a five-year-old child in your early 30s.
Speaker: Yeah. because you you could Yeah. But neither are they here nor there. And also, I've decided um I'm going to believe that the Dutch and Swedish chicks...
Speaker: um are not sisters that they are in fact lovers because that is how i saw this entire film it's not the first time you've done this i don't remember what movie it is but there's another movie or maybe it was me it was me i don't remember what it was where i was like oh they're in love and you're like no they're sisters oh oh it's another horror movie i think Yeah, it was. it's Train to Busan. Train to Busan. Train to Busan. Train to Busan.
Speaker: Yeah, it was. And they were like straight up sisters. And I was like, no, what? No, they're sisters. No. Okay. Well, now the tables have turned. Tables have turned. And ah those chicks, they're going to get married. Or at least we're going to get married.
Speaker: They have some fun, you know, where we're trying to like. This is the point in a horror movie where i like they want you to like these characters. And like some of them. Yeah. I like some of them. um They talk about, like, you get a little bit more like layers with Juno of like, hey, why the fuck did you leave, dude? She, like, peaced out so soon. Aren't you pissed at Juno? And Sarah's like, don't know.
Speaker: I don't care. don't care. don't care. My daughter and my son or my daughter and my husband are dead. Like, this isn't really this is like 10 years before at least 10 years, maybe even more before the horror horror movie as trauma became popular. Yeah, I think that it's it's it's yeah, it's really ahead of its time in a lot of ways. But that is definitely what we're doing here. It's trauma. Okay, the ending makes more sense now.
Speaker: Oh, okay. Well, we'll get there. I was too busy being terrified, Katie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah Literally screaming at the top of my lungs. um So we have, yeah we have some stuff. There's some some bits with like some some ugly pajamas. there there's There's some drinking. They're talking about like- They weren't ugly. I liked the pajamas. who The roses? yeah Those are some great grandma pajamas. I really loved them. They're my vibe.
Speaker: Charlie and I turned to each other and we went, I like those pajamas. Aw, that's cute. Well, I'm glad you're on the same page at least. Yeah. So Sarah has ah nightmares of poles shooting through windows. Yep. and Of course you would. she takes some pills and puts them down in a nightstand and leaves them there. And I believe, my guess is that they're like antipsychotics. Not necessarily even antidepressants, but like antipsychotics. Because she has visions. Yeah.
Speaker: They take a group photo, which is ominous. Yeah. And then immediately are like talking about the cave system. and they're supposed to go to this cave called Borum Caves, which is a level two cave system, which means that it is not going to kill you.
Speaker: Yeah. ah How many levels of cave systems are there? Like what is- I don't know. you got i not a I'm not a caver. You've been to more caves than me. Grade one, easy cave, no pitches or difficulty. Grade two, moderate caves and small pitches. i don't know what pitches means. I don't know what that means.
Speaker: Three, caves and potholes without any particularly hazardous, difficult, or strenuous sections. kate Grade four, caves and potholes which present some hazard, difficulty, or large underground pitch.
Speaker: Five, caves and potholes include very strenuous sections or large and wet underground pitches. What is a pitch? don't know. Like, is that like a little tunnel that you have to like crawl through? Oh, ah climbing, rock climbing. Oh, okay, okay.
Speaker: Okay. Gotcha, gotcha. him so So, more clanging. yeah yeah Yeah. They're like, Juno, are we going the right way? And she's like, yeah, totally, we're going the right way. we're going And then Holly is complaining and she's like, a stupid, boring cave. Like, oh, I want to die.
Speaker: i want to die I don't to. Right? And she's like so dismissive of these women who have like, I think some of them have not been in a cave before. Yeah. Like, even one of them is like, I'm a...
Speaker: school teacher I'm not tomb raider that's a direct fucking quote yeah that's what she says as soon as they get there yeah so they get to this cave which is very clearly not cave it doesn't even have it doesn't have a sign or doesn't have an entrance you have to jump into it it's a hole that you have to they have to repel into yeah And like at this point I would have been like, Hey, juno what the fuck are you doing? This is not the the cave that we were probably because what's her name? Rebecca, I think has read the guidebook on it and has put in a flight plan with mountain rescue, which is what you're supposed to do when you're going caving to let them know. Yeah.
Speaker: Now what they don't know is that Juno is evil and is trying to murder them. Juno fucking sucks. juno what Juno has done, which comes as a surprise a little bit later, but we'll say now what Juno has done. has is it has decided that they will explore a new cave that no one has been in before. No one's been in before.
Speaker: One of the most dangerous things you can do in the world. It's not mapped. Like, you don't know what is, you don't know where an entrance or an exit is or like how deep you're in. Like,
Speaker: Absolutely insane. They're selling it. She's like, I thought we could name it, Sarah. I thought you could name It's just like, she's trying to do it as like an apology for her.
Speaker: For her being a play dick. Sleeping with her husband and then her husband and daughter dying. but it's like, but it's also like so selfish at the same time because she sucks. She murdered them. like Yeah, essentially. Yeah. Yeah. yeah she She took them into a cave that had never been explored, got them lost. Against their will. against their will. Yeah. And then, um, and then, you know, what happens happens, but like, it ah it's just like, so telling whenever she's like telling Sarah, she's just like, yeah. So I brought, I, you know, I thought that like, you could name it, Sarah, we can name it after you. And she goes, no, you wanted to name it after you. says, this is the ego trip. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. You suck. Um, yeah. And they're talking, so they, they repel or as they say in England, abseil, um they they repel into this cave i mean it's not abseiling if you're going with your butt abseiling is just a british word for repel i know but like it makes me think of like a sailboat made of your abs oh i see i see fair enough
Speaker: They have to, they have to repel into this cave. yeah Some of them, I think Rebecca and Juno are experienced climbers. Yes. I think Rebecca is the best climber out of them.
Speaker: um But they, and then Holly, of course, like just jumps down in the thing, like almost crashes into one of them. She's a reckless asshole. That's her character is reckless asshole.
Speaker: immediately like who would have thought in this film of all ladies that passes the Bechdel test like crazy um yeah it would be filled with so many idiots well I mean there's idiots of all kinds I think that I know I mean horror movies require some idiots yeah you have to be a lot of times yeah yes yeah yeah oh yeah another thing is they before they get down to the cave they find a dead deer Which doesn't look like any kind of deer I've ever seen. Yeah, it's like ripped apart. Its intestines are like meh.
Speaker: But even that, it just, it doesn't look like a deer. It looks like, like ah a monster almost. And I don't know if that's... The way that they shot it was weird. Intentional. Maybe it's just some weird British deer that I've never seen before, but it's not, it doesn't look like a deer. It looks somewhere between like a deer and a moose. It's like black. Maybe it was an elk. huge.
Speaker: No, i mean, the the horns aren't right for now. I don't know. Anyways. I don't know. I don't know. But it's it's uncanny, I guess is what I'm trying to say. Yeah. And something has eaten it. Very disgustingly. Well, something has killed it and not really eaten it. That's the thing. Like, it's not. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. It's just like bits. So they get down to the cave and so you've like you said, you've been in a cave, but you've probably never been in a cave with no lights, right?
Speaker: No, absolutely not. Yeah. One of the cool things they do when you go into a cave where there's there's literally no light, because there's very few places on earth besides a cave where you can do this experiment, is you turn off your lights and it's completely pitch black. Like you've never seen it as pitch black as this in your life. And they say, put your hand in front of your face.
Speaker: And so you look and like, you can sort of maybe see an outline of a hand and they're like, That's not you seeing the hand in front of your face. That is your brain knowing that your hand is in front of your face and trying to create the image in complete blackness. ah Oh, don't know. And that's something I've never forgotten from when I was like 10 years old in that cave.
Speaker: Nope. No, thank you. Again, again, if your brain cannot form an image and has to come up with the concept of an image, you should not be in this place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's it's spooky. Yeah.
Speaker: So, yes, that's the quote that so that's what we're dealing with here. So yeah from this point on, basically, the the whole movie is lit from their headlamps and their glow sticks. yeahp And it's so beautiful. The other thing is this movie looks so good. does. They do so much with color and with... this this personal lighting and it looks it's I just a lot of the shots are so beautiful like it's really it's really well shot it's really well designed and when you get a fucking when we get later on into the caves and we get our jump scares they are genuinely scary because you're not expecting them yeah yeah
Speaker: Oh, ah somebody sees some bloody finger markings yeah on one of the caves. oh Oh, we haven't gotten to the portrait yet. No, okay. No, no, yeah. um they have Yeah, so right now they've got the red glow sticks and everything looks red. it's free They do a lot of stuff with color in this. Yeah, which is nice. Sarah's starting to realize it is not the right cave. And then we have this absolutely terrifying scene of them trying to get through this tunnel. hate goes through this tunnel, and it is, like, just completely all- It's up to shoulders. Like, I'm not claustrophobic. Yeah. And, like, I even kind of like being in, like, not in a cave, but, like, kind of being, like, in a little tight little space. It makes me feel comforted. look at that.
Speaker: Yeah. Like, it's just sometimes I like being, like, ooh. Ooh. Not against my will, though, but I'm not yeah by any means claustrophobic. But this movie, like, freaks me the fuck out. Oh, my God. Like, them, like, crawling through. Like, you just think there's only one way to go.
Speaker: Like, you can't back up. No. Well, it's that that just' like that famous photo, right, of that or the drawing of that man who got stuck in that sinkhole or whatever where he's like this and there was no way for them to get him out and he died. even though there were, like, tons of rescue workers all around him, they couldn't get him out.
Speaker: Yeah. Absolutely insane. Absolutely insane. Like, why would you ever do that? You can crawl yourself into a place where you can't get out of very easily. So Sarah gets stuck. go No, they don't know where they're going. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Sarah gets stuck in this tunnel and starts having a panic attack and they're, they're talking her down. It is, it's Holly. Who's talking. It's Holly. oh No, it's not Holly. It's Beth.
Speaker: Beth. It's Beth. That's, that's talking her down. Holly's being a little twat. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't remember. It's hard to tell when they have all the stuff on them. yeah um No, I always assume the person that's interacting with Sarah is going to be either Juno or Beth.
Speaker: Yeah, that's true. Yeah. So she's trying to talk her out of this panic attack and she's like, got to come forward. And then there's a cave in. Yeah. And they have to leave one of the rope bags and pull her out. And now the path behind them is gone.
Speaker: It's blocked because they're all idiots and they're stupid. And um they chose they chose this. And so Sam is like, well, I read the book and there's three entrances and three exits and we'll be perfectly fine. And yeah then Rebecca's like, what, this is not, this is not Borum Caves. This is, you've lied to us. And this is when Juno admits, oh, and we, oh, so we have another a scene with the cake and the candles. Yes. Yeah. after the yeah Yeah. Cause she's sort of like blackout blacks out for a second.
Speaker: Juno's like, oh, I didn't bring the book. like what do you mean you didn't bring the book? She goes, there was no point. We're not in Borum Caves. This is a new cave system. I decided that we all should die together. Yeah, yeah. I decided that my hubris is much better than all of our lives so because I suck.
Speaker: Now, I feel like if this were me, um I would have killed her. Yeah.
Speaker: my might yeah My original Letterboxd review, you do you want to do the jingle for Katie's Letterboxd? Katie's Letterboxd Corner. her Katie's Letterboxd Corner. Um, actually...
Speaker: Any self-respecting bitch squad would have kicked the shit out of Juno when she revealed she tricked them, indirectly murdered them all. Shrug emoji. Yes. This is how you know that they are the majority straight ladies and not bisexuals or lesbians. Because I feel like bisexuals and lesbians would have murdered her in within two seconds of knowing this. They would have been like, oh that absolutely not.
Speaker: that's I don't think that's homophobic. i No, that is called being an ally. ha Why are bisexuals and lesbians more inclined to kill their friend for ah for betraying them in this manner? Because they're all about survival, baby.
Speaker: They're all about survival clicks or claps or what do the kids say Clock it. Clock it, yeah. Clock it. i Click it, click it. Click it, click it. They're about survival, baby. um ah Anyway.
Speaker: Oh, God. ah This is when Juno says to Sarah, we all lost something in that crash. Yeah. You bitch. It's like the audacity. Right? i hate this character so much. My God. What, was he going to break up with Sarah that night?
Speaker: like what maybe maybe he was yeah maybe that's he's definitely yeah was in a vibe yeah yeah yeah and they were talking about the reason why also that she keeps having these like visions of her daughter's um birthday cake and like birthday party is that it's literally i think supposed to happen in the next few days so like she's talking to her daughter in the car at the beginning and she's just like so you want to invite some of those boys to your birthday party do you want to do you do you want to do x y and z for your birthday party and she's like No.
Speaker: Yeah. Dead. Yeah. It's like, oh, was such a bright future ahead of me. And dead. Yeah. ah um Like our daughter sounds a lot like Michael Caine. I don't know. Right. Why does her daughter sound like Michael Caine? I'm a little baby. ba
Speaker: Michael Caine is like Oliver Twist. We gave birth to the artful Dodger. Right? So they are, they're at a, they're at a crevasse basically. There's a big pit in front of them and they have to get to the other side So they have to climb across the ceiling. They have to do like a horizontal climb. Yeah. So they have Rebecca who's the best climber. Yeah. Rebecca's the best climber. So she's going to have to go across and put the pitons in, or as they say in England, pitons.
Speaker: The pitons. They have to put the pitons into the rock, which are the little things that hold the rope. Yes. Yes. And as she's going, it's incredibly difficult. She has to support her entire weight. She has to hold herself up and slam something into these rocks. Yeah. Yeah. And and when she's going to get she has to it one hand and then go up into the other one and then climb across. She's literally like screaming in pain the entire time. She's going horizontally across the ceiling, basically. It's incredible. It's terrifying.
Speaker: Yeah. just But just like, what an incredible feat of strength and like like prop um endurance. Yeah. And then she sees that there already is a Python in there. There's like an old one in there. And she's like, oh, so we're not the first. We're not the first people in this cave. And she's like, well, I'm not going double think it right now while I'm supporting myself with one hand. I'm just going to stick this this rope in here. Yeah, she uses it. And she gets across. And then they have the rope to like get everybody else across easily. And then Juno, who's like the second best climber,
Speaker: is coming across and she's like, we need these pythons. Like, I can't, we can't leave them. So she has to do the same thing. as So she's coming across, she has to pull them out and bring them with her. And this is when she sees that this old one is like, she's like, it's a hundred years old.
Speaker: Yeah. And first of all, it's not a hundred years old. It's like, cause it's 2005. I imagine it's from what, the sixties? its It doesn't matter, but it's like Python technology. Like the ones they're using are like the spring. Like, again, I'm not a caver, but I know enough about like, I've been rock climbing like maybe twice. i was like going to the history of Pythons, Katie. I'm just saying like, if you Google Python, what you're going to see looks pretty much like what there is in the rock. So like you wouldn't be able to tell it's, it's, it's not the same technology as the ones they have, which have like the spring like things that like it's metal that inside, um inside something. So you can easily remove it by closing the spring. This is just a metal spike with a hook in it. But I mean, you wouldn't have, maybe it is a hundred years old, but that technology is the same. The whole time. Like it could easily be 10 years old. There's no way of knowing.
Speaker: I mean, in my brain, it was like these like little 19, 1900s, um, uh, rock climbers and their little old fashioned gear. i think, I think the implication is that lots of people have been in this cave before. Yeah. And just nobody's ever made it out because they find like, she finds that helmet. They find yeah like, yeah, lots of other stuff.
Speaker: Yeah. Lots of other stuff. So, yeah, so she's having to pull them out and then that python falls out of the rock and she, like, they have to pull her up and it's very scary. Yeah. And this is when Sam is not holding the rope properly and the rope burn, like, slices into her hand. And her hand is all fucked up.
Speaker: Yeah. And so they're just, they're getting fucked up left and right here. And they're in a cave that they don't know. This is when they find the cave painting. Yes, this is where they find the cave painting, which looks like a, as you would describe it, a cave painting.
Speaker: Yeah, like thousands and thousands of years old. it' Like, i think the idea, I mean, like, spoiler alert, there's monsters in this. Yeah. I think the idea is that these were people who, like, lived in this cave thousands and thousands of years ago and evolved into, like, or, you know, it's not necessarily evolution, but, like,
Speaker: you know, adapted, genetically adapted to, to cave life, like, you know, like fish and, and all kinds of salamanders and all kinds of other cave dwelling animals do into being blind and having echolocation basically. yeah I was like, they, they evolved into bat people. Yeah. Yeah, they're like bat people. They're bat people. Not like bat men, but like... But like bat people. Like, like really, they're just... They're blind and they use echolocation and they're really like... Don't get me wrong. I fucking love bats. I love bats so much. They're so adorable. They're so fucking cute. Bats are so cute, yeah. I want to snuggle them all the time. You shouldn't, though. Because you'll get rabies. Yeah, I know. A lot of my Halloween decorations are of bats. Yeah.
Speaker: These bad people I would not want to snuggle. No. No, they're scary. um Yeah. They're scary. They're scary. i forgot what i was going to say. um But the thing that Sam notices in the painting is that there are, or Sarah notices in the painting, is that there are two entrances yeah in the cave.
Speaker: So they're like, okay, so there's a way out. There's some hope. Yes. And then Holly... Decides to run forward without anybody behind her. And she's like, i can see I can see daylight. And she's running and running. And then she falls and snaps her leg, which yeah she kind of deserves. And they have to like go and rescue her ass. Rescue her. like And she's like real fucked up.
Speaker: And they're like, it wasn't daylight. It was phosphorus glowing from you know one of the rocks or something. like yeah It looks like daylight, but it's not. But it's not. You got trapped and then you ran and you fell into a giant pit and you broke your leg and there's now bone cracking out of your leg and we got a snap. Oh yeah, it should be said one of them.
Speaker: Sam. Dutch or Swedish. No, Dutch or Swedish girl? It's Sam. Sam is the med student, yeah. Oh, Sam's the med student? Yeah. Okay. Well, she's she's like, she's a medical school and she's like, let me be a doctor for a second here. and We got to do this without snapping this stuff back in.
Speaker: ah Or we got to snap the bone back in. Yeah. no And it's just like so painful. She's like, you're going to bite down on this. And we just, we got to do what we got to do.
Speaker: And what's her fuck? Main chick wanders off. Sarah. Yeah. So while Sam is doing this, Sarah, like, start like here she hears her daughter laughing.
Speaker: Yeah. And so she, like, starts to walk away um while Sam is, like, setting her leg. It's super, like, violent and disturbing. Yeah.
Speaker: And this is when, apparently there's, like, you could, there's there's one shot earlier where, like, you see, like, you see them and you see, like, something like slime coming out of mouth. Yeah. That's the first time we see them. But this is when she's looking and she hears something moving and she like has her headlamp and she's moving it around. And that's when we see one of the monsters for the first time. Yeah. And it's really far away, but it's just this little white, like horrible creature. And she's like, scurries and she's like, oh there's a person in the caves. laes There's a person in the caves.
Speaker: Maybe they can help us. They're like, it's not a i'm like is that a person. It's clearly a monster. like You saw it. it's Why would you think that they're there to help? They're obviously not there to help, girly girl. like Take a fucking chill pill, my dear. um It's also clicking. like That's not good. Clicking and like crawling. like Crab walking. She's like, oh perhaps it's a nice man who can take us home. Give us a nice cuppa.
Speaker: um Now, yeah you know is a huge bitch. And she's like, you're seeing things. You're insane. There's nothing in the cave. Yep. um It's like, you clearly saw a monster girl.
Speaker: yeah And then they have, they then this is the that the yellow section of the cave where they crack open the yellow flares. It's just like, it's all subdivided by color. I think it's very cool. That is really cool. I didn't notice that.
Speaker: Yeah. And then they get attacked. And this ah this creature rips out Holly's throat. Yep. And who's already got got her leg broken. And they're like hobbling her through. um They're trying to like get her out.
Speaker: I skipped forward. So we have a we have a camera. We have a camera with night vision. And this is the first time we see them. Sarah has the camera and she's looking, ah moving around. And because they hear like sounds and then they're all screaming and she has the camera and they're moving the camera. And then there's this great jump scare.
Speaker: It's 57 minutes into the movie. Yeah. This is a 90 minute long movie of a 90 minute movie. It's such restraint. Like yeah I love that so much that an hour of this movie, there's no monsters. It's all just building tension and the and you interpersonal relationships between these women.
Speaker: But it's the thing where they're moving across and there's some, there's a, um I guess it's Holly and then they cut and there's just when the monster like standing right behind them and see the night fish and it doesn't, it doesn't scream or anything. It's just the, the, the side of it.
Speaker: Yeah. And then it jumps on her rips her throat out. That's their go-to move is ripping the throat out. Yep. Like an animal. And they all panic and run and split up. Yes. And Juno. Oh, fuck.
Speaker: Juno hits it with an ice axe and like absolutely like tears it up. They get into this. There's a big fight scene. There's a big fight between her because, and then she's trying to prevent it. for They're trying to take Holly's body.
Speaker: Yeah. um And she's trying to keep it from taking it. She's trying to keep it from, keep them from taking it. But there's, there's two of them. And one of them gets away with the body and the other one she's fighting with. Yeah. And she finally kills it and she's screaming. She's like full of like adrenaline. She killed this monster and she hears something behind her and she turns her turned around and swings the ice axe. Yeah. and ah Right into Beth's throat, which is one of my favorite kills in a horror movie ever.
Speaker: It's so not expected. you do not expect it. It would have, I mean, and it's one thing, like, I'm surprised more horror movies don't do because it would happen all the time. yeah Like, you're in these, like, horrifying, like, experiences. You have all this adrenaline. Yeah. And people, like, come up behind you. Like, I'm surprised more movies don't do it. I know, right? it's really, really effective. But also, like, here's my thing.
Speaker: I feel like Beth, bless her, R.I.P. She should have, like, been made made a little bit more noise.
Speaker: I don't know. Maybe maybe she did. We we don't know. like it's it felt like she crept up on Juno. Juno. And was just like, cool girl. But I mean, even if she'd said she'd been like, Juno, Juno, like, juna might not have heard it. You know, she's so locked in to her, like, fight or flight.
Speaker: Yeah. It did just feels like beth Beth could have made more noise. Okay, well, fair enough. We can blame the victim, yeah. I mean, want blame the victim. That's what we do on Get Your Girl. No, that's what we do.
Speaker: We blame the victim. That's our motto. ah Stupid bet. Stupid Juno. Oh, and then Juno's face like is like, oh, fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. like she She just freezes. And yeah like she's like got an ice axe through her throat. And she reaches out and grabs Juno's necklace, which we've seen Juno kiss a couple of times yeah for luck in different things. Yeah. yeah She grabs it.
Speaker: And like fall, like, it's like, and Juno leaves her there. Like she just straight up runs away. And it's just like, I'm sorry, what? You're not going to,
Speaker: What? And she runs back into um the lesbian lovers, not sisters. um Yeah, we get this thing where they're they're split. So Sarah got knocked unconscious and um she has more nightmares. um And then she wakes up and she's in, there's a bunch of animal and human bones. hey Yeah.
Speaker: Holly's body is there and she's like frozen watching on the night vision as the monsters eat Holly. Yeah. Terrifying. Trying not to make a sound. Yep. And this is when they start to realize that they're blind. Yeah. Because they get up like right up in their vases and they don't realize that there's a person there. They don't realize that they're there. so they're like, okay.
Speaker: She's in the blue green night vision. We've got Juno in the red flare. And then we've got Rebecca and Sam in the green flare. yeah So they're color coded between these different areas they're at. Rebecca and Sam are like huddled close to each other, like holding each other in complete silence. Like, yeah like quiet, quiet, quiet as the thing like comes up to them and investigates. And here's the If they have echolocation, they don't use it very much. They really don't.
Speaker: Cause like they get right up in there and like, why don't, why aren't they using their echolocation to like see around these, like these new little, like, shapes in the wall like and at one point one of them even steps on Sarah and doesn't notice that it's a person so like I think that they're like I mean they have really low cognitive ability I think yeah yeah they're really dumb I mean the girls take out a bunch of them you know that's true that's true it's unlike a lot of horror movies like they really get some of the monsters pretty bad And I mean, like, there is one moment that I do feel bad for the monsters. And it's the moment that um Sarah or is it?
Speaker: No. Yeah. Sarah kills the little kid one. And then the mama is like screaming, looking for her. that's happened That happens right about now. Yeah. She's in the, like, the boneyard. Yeah. And she thinks she's alone. And she can hear, they hear each other. They can hear each other calling. and so sometimes the monsters are distracted because they hear yeah the sound. And so someone will get saved by one of the other ones yelling for them. And this is when there's, like, a ba ah a little a little kid one monster. Yeah.
Speaker: And Sarah kills it, breaks its neck. And that's when yeah the mother comes and, like, is, like, like crying over it yeah yeah and it's really really upsetting like for a second like you really do feel for that monster and you're like oh come on sarah why'd you have to kill the baby i mean yeah they're they're monsters it wanted to eat you but like yeah ah a mom cra it just it pulls no no i yeah of course of course yeah they're they're creatures they're not people yeah they're only following their instincts This is when Sarah falls into the blood pool. Blood pool, to which I'm like, why is there a fucking lake of blood? And Charlie's like, well, it's not just blood. It's like, it's like bits.
Speaker: Yeah, it's, it's a, um it's yeah, it's like a refuse pit. yeah or Yeah. Like the blood from all the things has run into it and turned it red. Yeah. Absolutely terrifying. That's when the mother attacks her and she kills the mother too. Yeah. And gets out of the the pool. She's covered in blood. She's extremely fucked up. Yeah. um Then we have Juno who has discovered that there's chalk markings in the cave. Like pointing to a way out.
Speaker: Yep. And so this is when she meets up with Rebecca and Sam. Yeah. And then Sarah is on her own. Yeah. Yeah. And she's like, what, what's, what's the ETA on everyone else? And she goes, well, Holly is dead. And, um, and, uh, what's her face? Um, Beth. And they're like, what about Beth? And she goes, also dead.
Speaker: Not going to tell you how she died. She's also dead. Yeah, she's dead. She sort of alludes the fact that the monsters also got her, but we all know the truth, which is she straight up fucking accidentally murdered her. Yeah, there's this, yeah, it's this great bit where Rebecca has put the glow stick on the axe, and so she's fighting this monster, and the light is moving when she attacks her. It looks so cool. Yeah. um Yeah, so Juno saves her, and that's when she tells them.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And, um, the oh, that's also is the moment where there's like one of them up. Is that when there's like one on the ceiling and it terrifies you? Um, I don't remember.
Speaker: oh no, wait. I think that's the one that kills them. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That you're right. That is one that kills them. Yeah. So this is before that, this is where, um, this is where Sam is like in looking at the body and you're like, look at Sam, tell us what you can tell. The med student is like, tell us yeah what you can about this thing. And she's like,
Speaker: And this is when they decide that like they have to go out to hunt because there's no, there's no other animals in this cave. Like yeah they're, they're going to have to leave to hunt, which doesn't really make sense because like how many of them there are like having to leave to hunt, people would see these monsters. There's no way yeah that they would be able to be completely. But I think the idea is that like there's so many like cryptids in Appalachia.
Speaker: Appalachia. Appalachia in the in the like mountains and caves of like so like this is like one of those cryptids and like one of those monsters. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like that's sort of the idea. bat people North Carolina. The bat people of North Carolina.
Speaker: Bat boy. Hold me bat boy. This is when um i mean yeah that's what they are really. They're bat boy. Yeah they're bat boy. They are. they just don't have the ears.
Speaker: Yeah. This is where Sarah finds Beth. um yeah Beth has been dragged to the bone pile and yeah she's alive still. She's alive. Shockingly. She's been bleeding out this whole time.
Speaker: She's like, she's begging Sarah. She's like, um kill me she's like ju know she says, Juno did this to me. Don't yeah trust Juno. Juno's a bad person. And she's like, no, no, no. Like, it's okay. Like you're, you know, you're, you're upset. Like we're going get you out of here. And she gives her the necklace. yeah She's like, don't trust Juno. And earlier in the movie, we should have ship mentioned this then.
Speaker: ah Sarah says, um there's this phrase that Paul, my husband, used to say all the time, love each day. and she shows her Juno's necklace. And on the back of it it says love each day.
Speaker: and she goes, it's from Paul. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she begs Sarah to kill her. And so Sarah kills her with a rock. Because the kid, Peter's going to come and eat her alive. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so Sarah crushes her head with a rock. Mm-hmm. Yeah, we have this whole thing where she's killing a bunch of them. Like, she's going feral. Yeah. Like, she, like, stabs a bunch of them with the axe. The axe is pretty effective in killing these things.
Speaker: This is where Sam finds another pit. And she's crossing it like they did before. But her hands are all fucked up. Yeah, because she fucked it up with the rope.
Speaker: Yes. And this is, so she's hanging there and then Juno and Rebecca are coming up after her and yeah there's a monster on the other side and they're like, come like ah come come back, come back. because You have to to come back.
Speaker: And the monster attacks her while she's hanging there, rips her throat out. yep She is fighting it while hanging and then drops it down the pit. So she's able to kill it, but then she's dead and she's just hanging there. It's like all the blood running down her face. It looks really cool. Yeah, but terrifying.
Speaker: And then Rebecca immediately gets grabbed from behind Juno yeah and pulled like ah behind and she gets eaten alive. Yeah. And Juno falls down the pit into water.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Into water. And this is, she, she climbs out and that's where Sarah finds her, grabs her. Sarah's covered in blood. And maybe she thinks Juno killed them all. It's hard to say. She's like, what happened to them?
Speaker: Yeah. And she's like, they're dead. And Juno's like, I don't, they're all dead. And you can see it on her face that she's just like, this is all my fault. Oh my God. I am the fucking worst. And you can see it on Sarah's fault that she's, or Sarah's face that she's just like, wow, ah this person is the fucking worst. Yeah. yeah she's like you saw beth die and she's like yes yeah and she's like cool great awesome yeah you're a fucking liar they get to this point where they like illuminate and there's like four monsters just casually waiting for them yeah wow they're like we're here to eat you
Speaker: There's one I swear is like lounging like sideways like with his hand on his hip. I don't think that's actually true. That's just how I pictured it in my mind. I love it. And they have this big fight scene. um this is where Sarah gouges the eyes out of one of them. Yeah. Like Game of Thrones style. Straight up.
Speaker: They totally tear up shop. They kill these monsters Pretty easily, honestly. like Again, they're not very smart. Here's the other thing. Like, maybe if they had stuck together and, you know, if Juno wasn't such a bitch, ah they might have had a chance if they had bitten together. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: But this is when Sarah like turns to her and shows her that she has the necklace and then stabs Juno in the knee with the ice axe, like crippling her. She's like, I knew that you were a fucking liar. And then she like makes a run for it. And she she finds her way out.
Speaker: She finds... Well, the juno Juno is left and there's there's just a ton of monsters. Yeah, she turns around and it's... Yeah, it's like that scene in The Mummy with all the scarabs. Yeah, you just hear her screaming. Yeah, yeah. yeah um And ah Sarah makes it out um she sees light and she's like crawling. It's just like this like hill of bones that she has to just sort of crawl her way up. The light is coming from one direction and its like this far away, like horizontal shot of her. It looks it looks great, yeah. it It looks really good. And she she makes it out and she gets out and for some reason, the second entrance to the cave is just a little hidey hole in in a tree that you wouldn't have known is there.
Speaker: And she escapes immediately runs to the car and um is like sobbing, obviously, like you would. And it drives like a maniac to which my brain was like, girl the the last thing you need is to survive all of this and then get into a car accident. Like, just take a chill pill. She's like looking in the rearview mirror, like thinking they're behind her. You know, she's panicked. Yeah, she's panicked. And she's driving like a maniac. And then she like gets to like the main road road and um ah pulls over because she has to bomb like you do because she's been through a lot. She's like sobbing. Well, first she has to sob and and then she has to vomit. And um and then a truck almost kills her.
Speaker: A log truck. Very final destination too. I'm like, come on Can this girl just get a fucking break? um And in the United States, that is where the movie ends.
Speaker: Well, she turns and sees ah and has this vision of um of Juno sitting in the car next to her and she screams and that's the end. And that's the Which is that's not an ending. Like, that's nothing. Like, what does that mean? Yeah. The actual ending is she sees her screams. It cuts to eyes then cuts to black.
Speaker: And then we see in the cave, there's the the birthday cake again. And she's in, there's she's there with her daughter. the cant The cake has six candles now because it's been a year. She's six instead of five.
Speaker: The little girl is sitting there with across from her with the birthday cake. You realize she's still in the cave. The monsters are all around them. And they they she's just but she's like in her own hallucination with her daughter. The candles get blown out. And that's the end of the movie.
Speaker: See, I didn't realize that the woman that she sees in the car is Juno because it's so fast and it's so quick that you're just like, oh, it's the girl from the ring. It's what it looks like.
Speaker: I'm like, why is the girl from the ring here? um And then and that I didn't realize it was like six candles. um and Okay. Okay. So that makes a little bit more sense because you were like, watch watch the the actual ending. And I was just like, cool.
Speaker: The idea is, I mean, she never gets out of the cave. it's the Escaping was a hallucination. she has you know She can't get out, so she like retreats into her hallucination of her of her daughter, and she's there. within the And we've we saw the cake the whole time. you know Yeah. Well, and so like this is also where my brain was, was because in the US s version, if you watch it on a streaming device that rhymes with Shrime, then it immediately is just like, oh, did you like this movie? Watch The Descent 2. And it starts playing the trailer for that. And I was just like, oh, fuck. I was like, why would you go back?
Speaker: why Why the fuck would you go back? And it starts playing. The Descent Part 2 is. It does not have the participation of any of the creative team from the Disappointment one and is, is why I have not seen it, widely regarded as terrible.
Speaker: Oh, okay. It had pretty high, like, stars on, um... ah on the little like corner rating system. But like, ah but then I was just like, so then you were like, so I watched the beginning of the trailer because I was like, why why the fuck would you do that? And then i was just like, I'm going to bed. And then you were like, you have to watch the actual ending of the movie. And I was just like, but I know she gets out because there's the Descent 2.
Speaker: Now the Descent 2 is based on the American ending, which is bullshit. um It's one of these things where like they they took this movie And like they played it for American Test audiences and they're like, it's super depressing. Like, yeah, it's a horror movie. What do you want? But you gotta get a final girl. It's part of the rules. No, no, not in some, not in Final Destination. Nobody survives any Final Destination movie. There's six Final Destination movies and zero survivors.
Speaker: That's a lie because there's bloodlines. i haven't I haven't seen Bloodlines, actually. That's the one I haven't seen. It's pretty good. Somebody survives in Bloodlines? Well, the point is, is that like somebody survived. And then there's people that are. Well, I'll watch Yeah. yeah This past weekend, I did mini marathon of three, four and five. And let me tell you, four is so bad. Which one is four again? i love so many of them.
Speaker: Four is is the is the truly awful one. Four is the one with the, um I don't even remember. Three is the roller coaster. Three the roller coaster. I think I ended it with three. I loved three. Three is pretty good. Three might be the best one. Three is great. With Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Four is called The Final Destination. And is... Oh no, I have seen four. Four. Oh, it's the auto race. It's the race track. The auto race. The race track one. It's where the the cars smash into it. Yeah, it's terrible. so fucking bad. It's so fucking bad. But oh my God, you have to see it.
Speaker: No, you don't. For all the things. It's so 2000. It's one that's in three d And so it's all like, instead of like clever Rube Goldberg, like death trap things like the other movies, it's just like goofy 3D effects. It's like, whoa. swear it's so half-assed. Like some of the deaths are just like, i don't know, this.
Speaker: And then it's just over. Like it's so, it's it's such, it's so like. Yeah. It's also other the where you get the draw the um car wash one where I think about it every time I go to my car wash.
Speaker: um where her windows roll down when she's going through the car wash. And she like basically almost drowns. I think, i wait, I thought that was five.
Speaker: No, that was four. Cause I don't think I've seen five. Okay. Oh, you're right. You're right. You're Four is the, yeah, it is four because at the same time as the guy where you the guy gets his guts pulled out of the pool drain. Yeah. Yeah. yeah stupid Stupid. Stupid. I think that's where I ended. Uh, and then we watched like the latest one. Um, but yeah, yeah. What a time. Uh, any other five is better. Five is better than four. Not as good as three or two.
Speaker: okay. But anyways, back to the, the descent. Yeah. um Yeah, um it's super cool. I love it. yeah um It was terrifying. we are yeah we've got it we got all We've got a horror movie with all men later, so we had to do a horror movie with all women as well.
Speaker: We had to balance it out like you do. Yeah. Yeah, it was terrifying. But before that, in in our, what are we doing next week, Emma? Yes. ah Next week is a personal favorite of Emma's. And you might be like, oh, but Emma, we've already done this film. and Here's the thing. No, we haven't. um Because this is a completely different plot. has nothing to do with the original. but except It's way worse in every way. um i think it's way, I mean, i wouldn't say better, but like more entertaining. This is a Blade 3 opinion of yours. This is this is an Emma-only opinion. I love this movie so fucking much. That's right, guys. We are watching the 2000s remake of The Haunting starring Catherine Zeta-Jones and um Guy from Taken.
Speaker: Liam Neeson's. Liam Nielsen? Liam Neeson's.
Speaker: I'm very excited. Boy, this is going to be a slog. um Yes. a word so Enjoy that. The first bad movie we've done on Go Get Your Ghoul. That's not true. That's not true. That's very not true. We did Friday the 13th part 8. Yeah, we did.
Speaker: We did Freddy versus Manhattan. No, it was Jason versus Manhattan. Jason versus Manhattan. We did Jason. Jason takes a very slow boat to Manhattan eventually.
Speaker: Jason takes a um a little tourist boat to Manhattan. Yeah, from Vancouver to Manhattan. From Vancouver to Manhattan.
Speaker: And then he spends two seconds kicking boom boxes.
Speaker: So fucking good. So fucking good. um Amazing. Well, shall we outro? Let's outro. Thank you for listening to Go Get Your Ghoul.
Speaker: If you like us, tell your friends and please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. It helps out a lot and we would really appreciate it. Thanks to Andrew Milken and Nick Spoboda for their ah theme music and Elena Henderson for her her artwork.
Speaker: You can follow us on Instagram at GoGetYourGirlPod or email us at GoGetYourGirlPod at Gmail. You can follow me and only me on social media at EmilyMPizza.
Speaker: Until next time, we're just two ghouls standing in front of the internet asking it to scare us. Good night.
Speaker: Good night.
