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The Gift of Friendship on the Hard Road
32 Plays1 hour ago
In this episode of Raising Autistic Disciples, Larah sits down with her friend Kerry Baker for a conversation that didn’t go as planned in the best way.
What started as a simple podcast recording turned into an honest, heartfelt conversation about friendship, waiting on God, the struggle of wanting answers now, and the temptation to reach for control when life feels uncertain. Together, Larah and Kerry talk about autism parenting, faith, social media, idols, patient endurance, and the gift of having people in your life who can help hold your arms up when the road feels heavy.
Kerry also shares about her ministry, KIND Families, her journey as an autism mom, and the heart behind her book Finding KIND. More than anything, this episode is a reminder that when the path feels lonely and hard, God often shows His kindness by sending faithful friends to walk with us.
If you are raising an autistic child and feel tired, overwhelmed, or alone, this conversation will remind you to look to the Lord, receive the gift of friendship, and keep trusting that He is sustaining you on the journey.
In this episode:
- Why waiting on God feels so hard
- The temptation to grab control when life feels uncertain
- Friendship as one of God’s kind gifts in hard seasons
- Honest conversation about faith, parenting, and endurance
- Encouragement for autism moms who feel alone
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:00:02
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the Raising Autistic Disciples podcast. I'm your host, Lara Roberts, and I have with me, oh, do I have just the joy, you you listener, have the absolute joy of being able to listen and glean from my friend, Carrie Baker. Carrie, welcome to the podcast. Thank guys.
00:00:24
Speaker
Hello. It's so good to be here. love seeing you. know. I'm so excited. All right, Carrie, let's just let's just let everything out of the bag just from the very start.
Podcast Dynamics and Unplanned Conversations
00:00:32
Speaker
um We are filming filming and recording this podcast completely backwards.
00:00:38
Speaker
but So what you're hearing right now, It's the Benjamin Button of podcasting. That's right. What you're hearing now, folks, is is we got on Zoom and started recording. And because Carrie and are such great friends, we just started talking.
00:00:52
Speaker
So, like, what you're hearing now is us filming the intro, like, 45 minutes after. and and Carrie, did we get to anything that we had planned to talk about? Nope.
00:01:03
Speaker
Nope, not one thing. So you're not yet not not going to hear. So basically, I'm going to, in a few minutes after Carrie tells us who she is and we talk just a little bit more, basically say the line, okay, now the rest of the recording is just like where we went with it. And I think, honestly, Carrie, looking back over the last hour, I think the Lord is is kind to us to be able... We just started talking as friends. And it what came to be is I know it was encouraging for my heart. So I know it's going to be encouraging for those listening. But... Anyway, tell the people who you are, Carrie Baker, what you do, what you've done, and all the things.
Carrie's Background and Mission
00:01:39
Speaker
Oh my goodness, who I am. i am ah John's wife and Brady's mom. um i am a former, in my former life, a financial advisor for 30 years. And God presented a 180 degree turn for me about three years ago to start KIND families. KIND stands for kids with invisible neurological differences.
00:02:02
Speaker
And i started it because my son Brady was diagnosed with autism and ADHD and a few other things. when he was three. He is now almost 15 years old, so i've been on this path for almost 12 years and navigating high school and all those kinds of things now. and But really my heart is just to encourage and support other families who have kids whose brains are wired a little bit differently and point them toward Jesus, because I found my faith through this whole process of diagnosis and adjusting to life as an autism mom. And I just want every other parent out there to know that their kid was made with intention and purpose and promise. And so were they. And so I just love my favorite thing is digging into scripture and finding ways that the Lord speaks to us through that, that to encourage us on our journey.
00:02:59
Speaker
Yes. And you do that by an Instagram platform. Yeah. And you wrote a book. I did. It's called Finding Kind. And it's um it's really our journey um through that. My son, Brady, actually wrote the foreword for it. That's everybody's favorite part. um And it's um it's the story of me coming to faith. It's the story of our you know acceptance of who Brady was made to be. And then the whole last section is stories of ways that he's surprised us and ways that he's impacted other people. And ways that God has really been working through him. So um hopefully it's something that's an encouragement to anybody who reads it who's going through a hard time or kind of having to navigate a life plan that did not go the way they expected.
00:03:48
Speaker
that's right, which pretty much categorizes all if you're listening to the Raising Altices Disciples podcast, you can identify that line right there. Exactly. So yeah, and that's just, it's on Amazon and, um but I, we can also do book studies on it. So if there's anybody listening who wants to get together and do a, like a book club or a Bible study with it, um I'd love to help support them on that too. Absolutely. And I recommend a hundred percent. It's like sitting down with a friend for coffee.
00:04:15
Speaker
So wonderful. Thank you for that labor of love sister. um So you and I literally, like we were probably celebrating, what, a year and a half, two years of friendship almost already?
Friendship and Collaborative Projects
00:04:28
Speaker
Yeah, I think so. And again, like, okay, so ah the episode with Colin is one of the first ones. And so I'm going like through who I'm all I'm going to talk to during the season of the podcast. And he's like, okay, hold on, time out. How many of these people did you like how many do you actually know like like in the last and i was like and i interrupted i was like only two years he's like two years i was like yeah this is the beginning of instagram really and you know uh my career with or my uh position with key ministry like so i mean but i just think it's kind of cool that let let's let's let's tell the people okay so if if we're celebrating almost our two-year anniversary friendship
00:05:08
Speaker
well all that's been accomplished in those two years that we have the Lord knit us together so much so that you have become one of my best friends and goodness gracious who who I'm about to give you Carrie like this is your that this is so letters to Lindsay has been out for almost four months now sister So in a year and a half of friendship of getting to know one another, you volunteered this crazy girl, pretty much first time author.
00:05:39
Speaker
um yeah And you were like, I'll i'll read through that 600 page document. Who does that, Carrie Baker? so I knew, well first of all, i I knew that whatever you were writing was going to be something that I would have needed when I was first, you know, going through the diagnosis. You know, I didn't really have the faith background when Brady was first diagnosed. So I i was i was in it for me too, Laura. it wasnt but um But it was, I knew, you know, I think, and I texted you and put in the document, I'm like, all right, you made me cry here. Okay. Laughing out loud, like all of those things. So it was, it was a joy, but I did have a little bit of concern that maybe newly diagnosed families,
00:06:30
Speaker
That's who Lindsay is. yeah To go through a 600 page document all at once. Yeah. so So this is how, this is how much the Lord knew I needed Carrie Baker is when, okay, 600 pages. And that's just like document size. That that would not have been like the the five by eight book. That would have been like a, a textbook. And Carrie very lovingly was like, li I think you may should prayerfully consider like doing these volumes and sister, that was the Holy spirit in you. Like, again, like, I want to wrap it like, like, thank you. Like seriously,
00:07:00
Speaker
If you have read, those of you listening who have read Letters to Lindsay, like you are reading a labor of love and a a gift from the Lord in Carrie Baker.
00:07:11
Speaker
it Because not only... Grammar and spelling and all of things. So not my spiritual gift. The encouragement that she gave me, the the reframing that she gave gave me being a few steps ahead. Like, thank you, sister.
00:07:25
Speaker
Just thank you. you know I'm thankful for your words. And I can't wait for the next volumes to come out because I already know what they say for the most part. You do know what they say. Yeah, you do. know I'm excited to share that with anybody I can. Absolutely.
00:07:39
Speaker
Speaking of being a few steps ahead, sister. oh Okay.
00:07:44
Speaker
I'm sweating.
00:07:47
Speaker
And I like, I like like i got to take. So I'm sorry. i got to take off my vest. That's okay. Okay. you know, you know, as I was right before this podcast, sorry for the and any brothers listening. I'm so sorry for about what I'm about to say.
00:08:02
Speaker
um So if you're a brother listening, you may want to skip past like this first this minute. um So I'm getting ready for this podcast. Yeah. And, you know, because it is we are filming, so I didn't want to look completely like, you know, she just woke up. Anyway, which is very much reality and things like that.
00:08:21
Speaker
but um But, so, sister, I don't know if you can see it. speak this This, like, having to take off my vest, I'm going to get there in a second because I'm sweating and hot. Like, I... Your chin?
00:08:36
Speaker
Yes. Oh, chin! The the one chin hair. Yes, I can see your chin, but no. You can see my chin, but can you see the... No. I tried to cover... No, I tried to cover up the scratch.
00:08:47
Speaker
On my chin because I missed it with the tweezers. Oh, no. And I gashed my chin trying to get that annoying, which I probably. Yeah. See, this is the blessing of not having everything in HD 4K or 5K or whatever they call it. Yes. Very much so. Okay. Well, I got the chin hair. The one chin hair that, you know.
00:09:11
Speaker
Well,
Humor in Life's Challenges
00:09:12
Speaker
that's what, okay. So listen, we probably should be prayerfully considering a podcast called, called menopause and the autism mom. yeah Oh, my God. I think the last paragraph of Finding Kind, i because, you know, this came out in 2024, I was like, we will now be navigating puberty and menopause yeah at the same time.
00:09:32
Speaker
And that's going to get spicy. And man, did I call it. You called it menopause and puberty. Yeah. Menopuberty. Menopuberty. Menopuberty.
00:09:46
Speaker
That's hilarious. Hey, you know what? Yeah. Menopuperity. it it We can't shy away from it. Yeah. It's going to happen. ah It does. Yeah. Lindsay's going to be navigating menopause and puberty. So you know what? exactly um For the sake of us all, we need to talk about how to navigate it. What?
00:10:07
Speaker
Anyway, okay. I'm feeling a lot better. I thought I was going to pass out there for second being being hot in that. v Because, I mean, where we are, you know, you never know what the... So I had a vest on and everything for those listening. And, man, okay. I'm good now. I think I'm back to not going to pass out. Because we have been talking for about an hour, you know. So we this is still the intro, which I'm going to go to segue in a second. but But seriously, like, taking on the whole few steps ahead. Like...
00:10:31
Speaker
I'm so grateful. i also have a friend that I can be like, okay, chin hairs, uh, sweating, insomnia, all the things I'm entering into a new season, Fran help. So, Oh yeah. Yeah. All right. I'm there. I'm there. i know. Thank you. Thank you for being that. My dad always said though, like with each birthday, it was like, well, I'd rather be celebrating a birthday than not.
00:10:52
Speaker
So there you go. i You know, you gotta be, you gotta to take all the things that come with God gives you another day to breathe on the earth. So, That's it. Amen. Amen. Amen to that. Well, so as stated in the intro, friends, ah Carrie and i have already been talking. So I'm going to kind of wrap up the intro and I'm going to kind of lead let you go to listen. So um it may be a little rocky start because i'll I'll edit just where we left off. But friend, we just we talked about or you're going to be able to listen to just our honest conversation. It really is. It's really what this has become. And we're going to let it be because Carrie, like we just started talking as friends.
00:11:30
Speaker
And I'm excited for what you're about to listen to. And so here it is the rest of Carrie and I's conversation.
00:11:42
Speaker
so And I'm, I'm like, Oh, this was very timely. I know timely, huh? Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
Social Media Reflections
00:11:51
Speaker
Well, Anyway, i'm actually, ah I'm considering going off of social media for Lent, which is kind of scary with all of this stuff that, you know, I'm trying to do, but I'm like, you know what?
00:12:07
Speaker
It's just, I i need to I need to change something. And yeah, maybe that's what it is. I'm telling you that week after Christmas for me and being off of it revealed a whole lot of stuff.
00:12:19
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. It's scary. It's scary with, you know. It's scary both in the, because yesterday I filmed a reel that I'm probably going put up today. And it's probably not going make a lot of sense. But, okay, so funny you should bring this up. Both taking the week off after Christmas taught me how much I rely on it. So therefore, therefore it taught me that too. Right now I'm reading the book for leadership, Atomic Habits.
00:12:48
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Yeah. And that's like how much like he goes over cue, craving. There's four of them, but I can't remember the four in response. So now I understand what cue, like the cues that I have built into habits to make me want social media and want my phone. Like I can't sit without it.
00:13:06
Speaker
Yeah. And then three, the reel that I'm putting up ah today, I think, is i I don't know if you follow. And she's she's sweet is the the Courtney. Yeah. Courtney Cook, and she's the one that did the whole sweet potato and the butter. i don't know if you saw that, like the the create the trend where she puts sweet. Anyway, it went viral. She also loves Weetabix, which you can only get in the UK. And so everybody bought out Amazon Weetabix that's coming from, and I was one of them.
00:13:35
Speaker
Because like, and so she takes Weetabix and i'm I've never before ate frosted mini wheats in my life, Carrie. Never in my life have I ate frosted mini wheats. And that's exactly what it is. It's just a little bit bigger. It's like a biscuit, wheat biscuit thing.
00:13:52
Speaker
I've never even ate anything like it. But because this Instagram content creator who is wholesome and who is, you know, sweet as she can be dipped hers in chocolate and then put it in milk with some strawberries, I'm I thought, i think now's the time that I try Weedabix. So I was influenced by a stranger on the internet that I know nothing of other than, i think I'll try that.
00:14:18
Speaker
yeah And so all these things, all these things, taking the week off revealed to me how much i'm I am tethered to my phone. yeah Then reading Atomic Habits helped me realize why what cues and cravings and response that I'm putting toward it. And then that I was influenced to do something I have never ate before in my life, nor had a craving for it.
00:14:41
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Some stranger on the internet told me to do it. yeah I mean, now she didn't tell me, she just said it was good. And so I was like, i that's the power of what we're dealing with I know. I know. And I started like last night, I was thinking, you know, I need to, because I, I do check it all the time. And I'm like, why do I need to check it? I went this morning, I turned all my notifications off except for like direct messages that I want to be able to respond to. But I'm like, I should make myself do like five pushups every time I grab my phone for like in some, like for some, you know, no other reason than
00:15:12
Speaker
I have like a spare three seconds and I want to see if anybody, can you know, it's just, it's dumb. And Brady's going through it too with his phone and his iPad. And where we haven't even gotten on social media or anything like that with him yet.
Technological Implications and Faith
00:15:26
Speaker
And so I'm like, well, how can I tell Brady, you know, can't be on the iPad when I'm,
00:15:34
Speaker
I every extra three seconds that I have I'm checking mine and yeah i know so I've got to I don't know and I was just and I was thinking about manna and like you know if I if if it's gonna happen God's gonna make it happen whether I'm checking my phone or not right and if I'm not trusting that that I'm doing what he wants me to do if I'm relying on my you know Anyway, I'm taking up your whole podcast time because my head is like and in. ah and You know what? This is already recording. i may just fit this into the podcast. Yeah. but um it's It's hard. It is hard. And, you know, the other thing I've been thinking about since we're going to go in this is Tower of Babel. and
00:16:19
Speaker
Well, I do tell because I have too. Because i just think all the AI stuff, all the, you know, the chat GPT and all this kind of stuff is like, are we really supposed to have all of this knowledge at our fingertips? Are we really supposed to? and is God eventually just going to say, o I'm going to take away all the, yeah you know, all your common language. Our common language is technology right now. That's right. You know, that's right.
00:16:46
Speaker
Yeah. and So to with that, a note with that, okay, now I'm remembering all the things that the Lord taught me that week of taking out social media is if we're not careful, just like you said, we will we will not know how to think anymore.
00:17:00
Speaker
Right, right. We've lost the preciousness and the I don't know the word of of thinking on God. Right. yeah And the time spent thinking alone. like we Like, if we're not careful, we will lose the creative ah creativeness of just being able to do something ourselves. I mean, we're i know yeah if we're not careful, it's just laziness will run amok.
00:17:26
Speaker
I know. I know. But I don't know. It's a... ah e's but That's what's been going through my head the last How have you have you tied that to the Tower of Babel?
00:17:40
Speaker
Well, so i I have been using like chat GPT and all that kind of stuff for a lot of a lot of things. And I was actually just listening to a podcast the other day that the gal who just took over OpenAI i is creating this health platform.
00:17:55
Speaker
um app within chat GPT. Well, I've been using that. We've been going through all kinds of stuff at our house with stuff. And I have been copying and pasting and putting everything in there. And I'm like, I'm like, that's amazing. That's like, that's so incredibly powerful. And how can these doctors who get to spend five minutes with us know all of these things without it being plugged into some, but then I'm like, well, maybe I'm not supposed to know like every granular detail and every little branch of the decision tree. of, you know, and how it impacts me. And if my doctor doesn't use the, you know, the path that chat GPT, I don't know, I was just, I am spending way too much time, you know, second guessing and deep diving on stuff that
00:18:42
Speaker
I really have no business. i want I want to know if I'm healthy or not. I want to know if there's, but do I need to know like three months in advance if there's a risk of something really bad happening? Like what does that, I don't know. I just, i just i feel i feel like i feel like everyone got this power now that is you know, taking like you were talking about in your blog that that I read from about being seen and being worried more about the fear of man than the fear of God. And if we feel like we've got all that knowledge in our hands, then, you know,
00:19:22
Speaker
And we're grabbing at it. We're no no better than eve saying, well, if you eat this, you're going to be like God. You're going to know everything. Everybody wants to know everything. and Everybody wants to know everything. yeah Yeah. so Yeah.
00:19:34
Speaker
So i'm in my mind right now, I'm i'm like, okay, because i the Tower Babel being where God... where they built a tower trying to be like God.
00:19:47
Speaker
They wanted to reach him. Right. Right. How do I, okay, so let's, let's, let's just have a, like a messy conversation because I think some things are connecting in my brain. Okay.
00:19:58
Speaker
So, so we have that, that story in right before it, right? Because that's when he scatters, like, because that's in what Deuteronomy? No. No, that's in Genesis.
00:20:10
Speaker
That's in Genesis. Okay. Okay. So right after it, right after, so Moses is recording Genesis words of the creation, of Babel. um And then, um and then right shortly after we find the the golden calf, right? Or is that right before it?
00:20:28
Speaker
Golden calf is before. i'm I'm going to. golden calf is Golden calf is after they've crossed the Red Sea. So Babel was before they went into slavery in Egypt. That was right hundreds of years before. So we have calf and then we have Tower of Babel, which also brings to the point they still didn't learn their lesson.
00:20:49
Speaker
Right, right. Like, so, okay, so here's what, so I'm reading, and we'll probably bring this up too. I'm reading Ed Welch's When People Are Big and God Is Small. So that's kind of where, when we talk about the quest for being seen, where where a lot of my thought process is coming from is this book. But he tells the story, or he he he kind of deciphers the golden calf. I got to read it to you because I think Tower Babble, what you're what you are, what you're talking about, it goes absolutely. So just talking about how an AI and the the knowledge at our fingertips and it's also the root, though it's kind of, it's kind of, you don't think about it being the root because it's totally opposite. It's like we want knowledge, but we also don't want to be exposed. Yeah.
00:21:39
Speaker
So, okay, hang with me. So he says, he's talking about shame and fear and um talking about the Israelites. um
00:21:51
Speaker
like opposing God. that's what That's what he's talking about here. All right. So let me just begin and we'll kind of piece together. They opposed God by trusting in themselves and their own gods rather than the one true God. After all, they couldn't be absolutely certain that God was going to bless the women with fertility. And what about these other gods that seem to have power to give abundant crops? Just in case God wasn't enough, they started to follow other gods.
00:22:19
Speaker
Oh, yeah. They thought idols would give them what they wanted or felt they needed. They wanted a God, little g. They could control and manipulate.
00:22:31
Speaker
They wanted nothing above themselves, including God, big G. One true God. God, they thought, would not be able to keep pace with their desires. And so they looked for blessing and sanctification in something they felt they could control.
00:22:48
Speaker
They wanted to do it their way rather than God's. That is the height of rebellion. Now, here's where it gets. Here's where it gets in my, geez. In following other gods, the Israelites also wanted to avoid god This suited them more than trusting him.
00:23:08
Speaker
The people of Israel had never before seen a display of holiness like they saw at Sinai. Such holiness left them feeling vulnerable and exposed. They became aware of their own shame. Here it is. Here it is.
00:23:23
Speaker
To deal with this holy terror, their rebellious hearts, goodness, their rebellious hearts searched for a God, little G, that was tame. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:23:35
Speaker
And the golden calf certainly was that.
00:23:40
Speaker
So like you talk about like ai and and the knowledge of fear like, like, it's it's in an effort rooted probably in that, okay, we don't want to be exposed. We don't because you know, we saw what happened in the garden with being naked and instantly, you know, fear and shame and hiding to where we're trying to gather up this knowledge And quickly, because we have instant gratification going on there, too, be able to to go, oh, I can suppress what's really the root of my sinful desire. I can suppress it with the knowledge at my fingertips. I can suppress it with with creating another little God over here that I can worship.
00:24:16
Speaker
Well, and I tell you what, with your instant gratification thing is the other piece of it. So, you know, the the israel Israelites, you know, if Moses had gone up on to Mount Sinai and then turned around and came right back down, they they wouldn't have had the time to think, well, maybe we just need to have a golden calf that we can worship. They would have just been like, true oh, Moses is back.
00:24:37
Speaker
OK, what are we supposed to do? But it took 40 And I don't know at what point in the 40 days they decided, OK, he's not coming back. He's obviously not coming back. So we need to take care of this ourselves. And that's kind of like what we're dealing with, too, is like, i can't wait.
00:24:59
Speaker
you know, three hours to pick up my phone again and see if somebody, ah you know, it's taking too long. Or, you know, I need to know right now, um you know, what the amalgamation of all these different pieces of information result in And I have the tool to do that instead of waiting and and waiting and trusting.
00:25:21
Speaker
you know Let me ask you this question. In the seasons of waiting and trusting where you had like you, you had
Waiting and Trust in Parenting
00:25:28
Speaker
to wait. met i mean, if we even go back before technology, you know, um just FYI, those of you, you know, youngins that are listening, there was a time before technology. And um what did those seasons of waiting produce in you?
00:25:44
Speaker
Well, it's a little different for me because i didn't, I wasn't waiting with the Lord in those earlier times in my life. Yeah. But I mean, I remember when I was, um you know, in my, I didn't get, i didn't meet my husband until I was 33 years old. So, you know, i had this time when all my friends were getting married and they were having kids and I was still the single, I was the single girl that like, you know, I'd wind up at the kids table at my friend's wedding because there weren't any other, you know, like, and You know, and I, I never thought that time was, you know, going to come to an end and behaved badly. And during those times, because I just, you know, didn't see a, an end state that where I would finally meet somebody and settle down and have this family that I'd always thought I'd have. But, um,
00:26:33
Speaker
But now, I mean, there's a lot of waiting and and special needs parenting because you don't get that instant gratification. You don't take a kid to therapy and have them walk out, you know, after a session. And oh, my gosh, I can. Oh, my gosh. It's like all those things that we were challenged with are gone. and so I feel like I think feel like we're in a constant state of waiting in the parenting realm because.
00:26:58
Speaker
um But and it is different now. I mean, am we're in a state right now, you know, the last few weeks, few months have been super challenging for our family.
00:27:11
Speaker
and I am waiting for them. I'm waiting for answers and I'm waiting for guidance and I'm waiting for all of these things um and trying not to overstep on my own will and my own power to force, you know, change and force a ah decision where it's not, we're not ready to make a decision yet. And, and it's hard. And, but i at least now i can look and I can go back and see all these things
00:27:43
Speaker
points of our journey with Brady where it never seemed like things were going to change, but then they did. And, you know, you and I talk to moms all the time that are kind of just starting in the journey and the threes and, you know, and, oh man, I remember that. And I just never saw the light at the end of the tunnel. come But, um, you know, once I i I realized that none of it was a mistake. None of it it was a, because of something I did, it it made the, it made the process of waiting a little bit more, um, I don't know, understandable or, or just a little bit more, um,
00:28:28
Speaker
more doable or endurable. Endurable. Yeah. Yeah. The patient endurance. That's the phrase I keep coming up with is the patient endurance. and so I don't know in the waiting. um I mean, that that happens so much in the Bible. I mean, Sarah and Abraham, God made this promise to them. And she was like, well, this, you this isn't happening. Here's my, here's, here's Hagar, you know, and just time and time again, we're,
00:29:02
Speaker
We just, we take things into our own hands that, um, God never wanted us to. That's right. Including our kids own, um, path and journey that they're going to be on.
00:29:17
Speaker
entering That's right. The phrase you just said that this isn't happening. Like that is Tower Babel. That is Golden Calf. Like, okay, this isn't happening. So I'm going to do x Y, Z. And that's what like, gosh, it's so connecting as we talk this out. Like that's making a tamer God.
00:29:38
Speaker
Like that's becoming a, okay. So if this isn't happening and isn't happening on my timeline, like I think it should, I'm going to take control. And I think, I don't know if you and I have talked about this before. I think I've talked about it on other podcasts, but like how to advocate and stay Christian. Like when we were writing that book, um like if God ever allows us to do like a revision of it,
00:30:00
Speaker
And maybe not, maybe I wouldn't put this part in it. Maybe it was just for me, you know, because there's all the times where where i don't know about you, when we're writing, I'm like, okay, is this for me? Or is this is is this something need to put in a book? But like, I do know that what what he taught me after writing that and publishing it out into the world is the thing when it comes to advocating of like, there's there's been certain times and seasons where I've thought, oh, Graham needs this.
00:30:23
Speaker
and like pursue it like crazy, turn over every rock and stone and try to get it. But that may not have been what the Lord wanted. And had I run past him and not chosen to wait and be faithful in prayer, Graham could, and and very well, not saying that the Lord couldn't work and he does and he absolutely works in our mistakes and and things like that for his glory and our good. But had I pursued some of the services and things like that that I i thought that he needed,
00:30:52
Speaker
It would have ended so or or it would either ended not well or it would have ended with more struggle than needed to be. So so like that just that resonated, Carrie, like like.
00:31:04
Speaker
It's not happening, like and then what what do we do when that season that we're walking through. or it's, it's too hard and I've got to make this, exactly I've got to make this easier and make it easier now. And I'm going through that like literally like as we speak with decisions about school and, um and it's like my knee jerk is get him out of any situation that is, you know, causing his heart problem, you know, issues. And I did that in seventh grade. I pulled him right out of a school in March and it was, traumatic for him and it was traumatic for me. And I don't, I don't know. i guess, you know, I have to believe that all of that was part of God's overall plan too. But I do think to myself, like, gosh,
00:31:52
Speaker
you know, did I, was that my knee jerk? And did i kind of, you know, all of a sudden take a little detour I wasn't supposed to take? I know God will get us back to where we're we're going, but, and i'm I'm running through that in my head now with the decisions that we need to make. Like, am I am i doing a knee jerk? Like I need to stop the pain right now. So let me, let me forcibly, you know,
00:32:17
Speaker
take the wheel and just, you know, jerk off road. um So I can stop this present pain and this present, you know, concern that's keeping me up at night. Or is this pain part of a process that we need to go through to get to where God wants us to be with him?
00:32:36
Speaker
You know, so it's not just waiting in the you know, and not getting an answer. It's waiting in the muck of the, of the the situation that you want to end.
00:32:50
Speaker
You know, it's not just waiting for something. It's waiting for something to be over and yeah trying to take full of that in a way that, um, that you don't have any control over changing. So, um, it's so much it's, it's,
00:33:10
Speaker
You know, like I was saying with the manna, like I've got to It's so hard not to be gathering on the seventh day.
Trusting in Divine Provision
00:33:18
Speaker
Right. who well Go into that. Hard because i don't see what the next um the next.
00:33:27
Speaker
you know, serving is going to be. And I'm hungry. i know, him I know me, I'm hungry. I mean, all all different kinds of uses of the word. I'm a hungry person, right? And, um and God told the Israelites yeah on the seventh day, you won't gather, but I will give you double portions on the sixth day.
00:33:47
Speaker
And sometimes, I don't believe it's a double portion or i think I'm going to tear through it on the sixth day. And then I'm going to be really hungry on the second day or seventh day. And, um, and letting go of something that I think is a production wheel, um, to let God do it is a really, it's a really challenging show of obedience and trust that I haven't been really good at, to be perfectly honest, you know? Oh, yeah. None of us. Yeah. yeah That's what I was I was thinking like, man, um because last week, last last podcast was talking with our friend Carissa from Autism Moms Bible Study and love her about ah capturing peace at the cost of discipleship.
00:34:32
Speaker
No, I got that wrong. Capturing peace at the cost of obedience. Oh, yeah. And so like you're talking about like that, like, like, I'm hungry. I have an internal cue that I need to eat. But really, we're talking about like a spiritual, like in a in a a fleshly desire to do XYZ.
00:34:51
Speaker
I want to capture that. i want to I want to remove that craving. I want to remove that remove that cue. So therefore, I'm i'm running, and what what Romans call, you know, walking in step with the Spirit. I'm running ahead of the Spirit.
00:35:03
Speaker
And I'm running, like, but what we where we need to be in obedience is walking step by step with Him. And if God's Word says, you know, just like what He said for the Israelites, like, He will give you manna. This is His good plan.
00:35:16
Speaker
what I'm trying to teach our teenager. Like, like inside God's good plan for life is where we want to be. Now, our flesh is going to be like, like the bumper ah things at the bowling alley. Like it's always going to be pushing up against those like we want, like, you know, the ball but and bouncing back and forth. But if you're inside God's good plan, it's he'd never says it's going to be easy.
00:35:38
Speaker
But we need to be mindful that our flesh is like, I'm hungry. I'm going to go out. I'm going go out to the field right now. Like it's in front of me. I can go, I can, you know, but no, if we're inside God's good plan of what he says, he will always be faithful to give us what we need in that time.
00:35:51
Speaker
Right. Right. Yeah. And, you know, I think there, he gives us all these opportunities to be able to look back oh at times when he did provide when, um, you know, even before i was a believer, I can look back on ways that he provided for me when I was trying to barrel barrel ahead. And I didn't even know it was him, you know?
00:36:16
Speaker
Um, And so those helps. I mean, i we're talking about hunger. Our church is actually doing a ah one day a week fast for Lent.
00:36:26
Speaker
And I've never done that before. I've never fasted before. And they want us to register for it so we can, you know, commit to it. And I'm like, but I'm hungry. and I'm i'm ah hungry right now. It's only 940 in the morning where I'm at and i had breakfast and I'm hungry.
00:36:43
Speaker
um But, you know, I signed up for it because, you know, I need is this is like training. It's like, yeah, it's like building a muscle that it is has never been worked out before. And right I need to start working out that muscle. Well, I need you keep me accountable. I need you because I can also say and I'm putting it in the recording that I don't know if I've ever done a long form fast.
00:37:09
Speaker
i i know I can't even think. I think maybe in high school with youth group, I did like maybe a one day thing, but it has not been a spiritual discipline that I've, I have laid down and surrendered and I know I need to.
00:37:21
Speaker
I know specifically as a good. I was going say, this is not like a 40 day fast. Okay. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. I'm talking like, even like, I've only done like one meal. Yeah. So that's what it's sundown to or sun up to sundown is what they're wanting us to do one day a week, sun up to sundown.
00:37:37
Speaker
So, uh, yeah, I didn't want there to be some, anybody sure out there fasting for 40 days. Oh yeah. Yeah. But I mean, still like, like if you, in the whole, in the main, I have not put that spiritual discipline down.
00:37:51
Speaker
I've not, yeah, I've been probably disobedient where where times I've needed to. i have not put it in place. And I'm going to what spinning in my mind is, and I'm a planner and i know I know I don't need to treat fasting like this. But what has been stirring in my heart is you've got a year till Graham hits middle school.
00:38:10
Speaker
And you're like, Larry, you're going to need to be on your face before God, asking him even a year out to prepare you for those days. Mm-hmm. Because we've spent five years, four years, five years at the same school, same teacher.
00:38:24
Speaker
That's going to be a hurdle to overcome, to transition him. So that when I think of that endeavor, like when I just like daydream or whatever, just stare into space, stare at a wall, whatever. And I think of, oh, we've got middle school in a year. Fasting is immediately coming to my mind.
00:38:37
Speaker
And I know that's the Lord saying carve out a time because you're a year out. Mm-hmm. that and fast and pray that I prepare you in 12 months to enter that season right right and so I'm saying it on the recording because need your accountability yeah okay you got it you keep me accountable all the time there you go so thank you thank you for bringing that up I appreciate that you know you know I love the way that there's so much that I know God is weaving into our kind of parallel stories that that we're going. I know I'm a few years ahead of you, but um where he is bringing things to light in both of our lives that um that tie directly into scripture that make us know go back.
00:39:25
Speaker
to his word. And then, you know, you and I will text each other and be like, Oh my gosh, I just, I just wrote about that yesterday, you know? And, and that's, you know, i love that God places that confirmation in our hearts that, that these are, these are what he, these are thoughts that he wants us to be diving into and exploring for ourselves, for our kids, um, And then for the people that we're trying to reach and encourage as well. So I just, it's that's been one of such a blessing.
00:40:01
Speaker
So thankful. Absolutely. So tell me, tell me. so so for those of you listening, we have not filmed an intro yet. We just kind of started talking. So, ah in editing, it will be fine. It'll be good. But this is what I love. So, segwaying, this is what I love about friendship is both what we're about to talk about. It just was like, literally, like Carrie said, just what the Lord was stirring in her heart. He was also stirring mine. But what I love, too, is we haven't we haven't done... We're going to go back and do an intro, but like...
Friendship and Faith in Life's Journey
00:40:31
Speaker
Like, this is what, this is God's beauty and gift on this side of eternity is friendship. And I've said it so many times in the last few episodes, Carrie, I'm going say it again to you. I said, ah ah Barb Stanley was is one of my mentors. ah Like I said, the statement out loud on that recording and that episode of of what I've seen in my almost 40 years of living um is that when we are navigating some of the hardest times in our life,
00:41:00
Speaker
god God always, i mean, he's Scripture tells us He's the Father. He gives good gifts to His children. And I truly believe that in times where we, the fog is so thick, and right in front of us, one of His, one I mean, greatest, no, His greatest gift was Jesus, obviously. But like, one of His, the His kindness on display is sending us friends. Okay.
00:41:25
Speaker
I'm getting emotional because I was, as I was praying this morning and I was having my quiet time and, you know, I, and I told him, I, you know, I, I did a post about crying out to God that sometimes we, we forget that step. And, and one of the things that I was really feeling was alone this morning. Mm-hmm.
00:41:45
Speaker
And, um, and I had the, you know, i was ah so looking forward to our conversation that I was thinking, I, okay, what am I going to say to encourage other people? God, what, how am I going like, let this, this cloud lift, um, for the, that I'm feeling right now so that I can encourage other people. And here we are. And, um,
00:42:07
Speaker
he just he's like He was like, just get on a call with Lara, honey. I'll take care of it. So I'm very grateful. and Sister, like and that is like...
00:42:19
Speaker
in in i
00:42:23
Speaker
I mean, i can I can think of the phone calls. i can think of the text messages where at my time of need, ah of feeling alone too, but of of just, gosh, thank you God for the gift of friendship.
00:42:35
Speaker
Thank you God for Carrie Baker and and marking our steps toward each other. and um You know, ah for those of you listening, Carrie and I um together partner and host a online Bible study for autism moms and sister, especially last week and and the week before and the week before and all the other times that we've done. We've taught together and facilitated conversations.
00:42:58
Speaker
the first thought off my mind when we leave that that that Zoom room is, God, thank you that I get to i get to do this with Carrie. like And I even thought like last week particular, our conversation was so great and just so uplifting and um so gospel oriented and and focused. And like my thoughts are like, and I should have texted you at that point.
00:43:20
Speaker
um But that it is not it is not a, I don't take for granted, and or I hope I don't, the gift of being able to do this with you. Like, it that is that is a gift, sister. It's a gift. I i thank God every morning for you, Lara, and that you put us together and that he...
00:43:39
Speaker
he gave us each other to trust in through this process of what we're trying to trying to do for his good and for his glory and that's right um that's right so yeah love you I love you. Is there anything as we close out this podcast, is there anything we're going to go, we're going to go do the intro right after this?
00:44:00
Speaker
Did we actually get to talk about anything you planned? on I don't think we talked about anything, but that's okay. We talked about the thing the Lord, the sovereign Lord wanted us to talk about and things like that. what We're going to the intro, but ah sister, with everything that we've talked about thus far.
00:44:15
Speaker
um waiting and just this recent like few minutes feeling alone and things like that like those of us who are raising autistic disciple you and i totally like like we're on this hard road what do you what do you leave somebody with for this episode that's listening
00:44:39
Speaker
Well, I think that, you know, we talked a lot about idols and things that we're relying on other than, than God. And, you know, he gave us the formula. He loved God and loved others.
00:44:52
Speaker
And it's a simple formula and it's the one that I think we can lean on when we're going through those those hard times that we look to God and then we look to to others that will give us a hand or just a shoulder or just be, you know, like Aaron and Hur that held Moses' arm when his staff was getting really heavy.
00:45:18
Speaker
And...
00:45:22
Speaker
You know, I just I say this all the time. i was an autism mom before i knew Jesus and an autism mom after I knew Jesus and I would never ever want to go back.
00:45:37
Speaker
And if there's anybody that's even listening that is questioning whether, um, you know, their faith is, is going to be important in their journey. I mean, just grab onto it with everything you may have and, um, and learn and dig and,
00:45:57
Speaker
surround yourself with other people who love the Lord. And, um, I promise you, it will, it will help sustain you through the hard times. it won't take the hard times away, um, but it will bring you sustenance. And we see that every week in our Bible study.
00:46:14
Speaker
That's right. Everybody is going through something hard. um, but, but finding the, you know, the purpose and the intention and how God made our kids and us to raise them is, um, really the first step in, in, in getting through those hard times, I think. That's right. That's right. Amen. Thank you, sister, for being on the podcast.
00:46:38
Speaker
This was so good for me. Thank you. It was. Yeah. Where can people find you? Kindfamilies.com social media is Carrie A. Baker. So, i and then Finding Kinds on Amazon. yeah Absolutely. It is my top three recommendation of books. Go find Finding Kind on Amazon. It's a, it's a me too book.
00:46:59
Speaker
It's a, you're reading it. You're like, you're sitting down with a friend and you go me too. And I highlight, get a highlighter and just highlight the thing. Cause it's, it it is that type of book. Thank you for that labor of love sister. You're Thank you for listening to this episode of the Raising Autistic Disciples podcast. Hey, Carrie would agree with me. It is for God's glory and our good friend. Thank you for listening.