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“Healing Your Money Story” with Kara Stevens, Founder of The Frugal Feminista
12 Plays3 months ago
In this episode Shanarra sits down with finance educator Kara Stevens to get under the surface. Kara pulls back the curtain on how childhood scripts, corporate pressure, and that “treat-yourself” mentality keep high-achieving women stuck in fear or guilt—even when the paycheck looks great. Together, we unpack why healing comes before spreadsheets, how to build a wardrobe and a nest egg you love, and the step-by-step plan Kara used to fund a dream move to Ghana. Grab your headphones and a journal; this one’s part money master-class, part therapy session.
Timestamped Guide
Time
Topic
00:00 Welcome back to The Goode Guide—why money makes even confident women squirm
01:35 Meet Kara Stevens & the origin of The Frugal Feminista
04:45 College debt, default notices, and Kara’s library epiphany
08:20 When the numbers look good but anxiety still screams—healing vs. hustling
12:40 Shanarra gets vulnerable: generational money fears & “reward” spending
18:05 The confidence closet: success pressure, designer bags, and diminishing returns
23:30 Budgeting that doesn’t feel like punishment—track ➜ bucket ➜ pay yourself first
29:10 Sinking funds, thrift magic, and Rent-the-Runway hacks
32:55 Funding big dreams: how Kara de-risked a leap from NYC to Ghana
37:40 Coaching women leaders: uncoupling worth from consumption
41:30 Advice to 20-something Kara—“Take more risks. Don’t forsake today for a maybe tomorrow.”
44:50 Quick-fire listener Q’s: budgeting solo, partner money dates, travel funds
47:15 Free tools: Kara’s “Break Up With Broke-ness” kit & 5-Day Financial Reset
48:10 Where to find Kara
Resources & Links
- Kara’s site & freebies: https://www.thefrugalfeminista.com/
- Instagram: @frugalfeminista ihttps://www.instagram.com/frugalfeminista
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kara-stevens-edm-37882b12/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thefrugalfeminista
Break Up With Broke-ness Kit: Download inside Kara’s community hub.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to The Good Guide Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey there, welcome to The Good Guide, your ultimate career companion. I'm Shannara Good, and I've been on quite the career roller coaster. From the trenches of entry-level positions to the boardrooms as a now more seasoned professional.
00:00:15
Speaker
Believe me when I say i have been there and know that I've acquired some wisdom over the years that I cannot wait to share with you. Ever felt like you're on your career journey solo?
00:00:26
Speaker
Or maybe you're curious about conquering career plateaus, overcoming imposter syndrome, or leading with unwavering confidence. Well, I promise you are in the right place.
00:00:38
Speaker
Every week, my guests and I will share our own challenges and successes. We'll talk about everything from career development to leadership to even work-life balance. Expect a healthy dose of authenticity and, of course, our tips and tricks that will have you navigating your career with a newfound confidence.
00:00:58
Speaker
Don't miss out on the knowledge drop, y'all. Hit that like, subscribe, and follow button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app. Trust me, you won't want to miss an episode.
00:01:12
Speaker
Because this is the good guide where we're not just chasing success, we're defining it. Are you ready to elevate your career game? Let's dive in.
Overcoming Financial Discomfort
00:01:26
Speaker
Hello and welcome back to the good guide podcast. I'm your host, Shannara Good. And on today's episode, we are talking about one of everyone's favorite topics, money.
00:01:42
Speaker
I say that with a lot of sarcasm because, quite frankly, money is one of the last things I like to talk about um when it comes to personal finances. you know I can talk about negotiating your salary all day, every day, but like when we talk about what's in our personal bank accounts, now that feels just slightly invasive. But no, in all seriousness, I want to sit down with Kara Stevens, um who is the founder of The Frugal Feminista, which, like, what a name,
00:02:07
Speaker
um and Essentially, what Cara does is she helps women heal, keyword heal, their relationship with money um so they can live a big life, so they can move and groove the way in which they want to, you know whether it's save it or you know to to demolish the debt that they have, to um retire in abundance, to invest, to scale their wealth without deprivation. um She just wants to teach women how to give themselves permission to grow their money and enjoy their money. Keyword, enjoy. um
00:02:45
Speaker
and and you know Today, one of the things that we talked about, which definitely sparked my – it hit me in in a place that felt uncomfortable because you know Growing up in ah in a household with a single Black woman who you know had kids at a young age, she never really had an opportunity. My mom, obviously, um is who I'm referencing. She never really had that opportunity to flourish with money.
00:03:11
Speaker
right She went from being a high school student to a college student to a mom. um and so Money was always something that we struggled with. and Mind you, I've had amazing opportunities despite um my mom not making a lot of money, but I saw her struggle. And to say that that put the fear of God into me would definitely be an understatement. And so now as an adult, my relationship with money is, I mean, it's not good. It's it's based in fear and anxiety and sadness and um just kind of this feeling of I will never have enough of it.
00:03:50
Speaker
um And yet I make certain spending decisions that I'm like, I have money. I need to spend it because I have it. um Now, this is not me trying to mark myself as ah an irresponsible person with money per se. It's just the reality of like, it's something that I struggle with day to day because it's something that mentally there's healing that's needed there. And talking to Kara was definitely, um that was an interesting conversation. So I'm excited for you all to listen in to this.
00:04:23
Speaker
It's a little bit of an atypical conversation because we don't we touch on you know leadership and and working you know in in the corporate world world a little bit, but this one was definitely just more from a personal standpoint that I wanted to share ah bit of insight with you all.
00:04:40
Speaker
So I hope you enjoy the episode and I will see you in the next one.
Journey to Financial Literacy and Identity
00:04:45
Speaker
Bye. Well, hello, Kara. Thank you so much for joining the Good Guy podcast. I'm very excited to have you here today um to share more about the Frugal Feminista, which I'm obsessed with the name, by the way, Perfect Branding.
00:04:58
Speaker
um So first, like let's just start off by giving the listeners a bit of a glimpse into who you are and how you started. Well, thank you, Anishinara, right? Yes.
00:05:09
Speaker
Yes. Yes, thank you so much for having me. How it started, honestly, there's like so many parts of the story, but the quick version was that I had graduated from college and I was not paying back my student loans and my credit card, and I had no intention of paying it back.
00:05:26
Speaker
And I thought that the best strategy was just to ghost my creditors and my loaners and be like kick rocks because no one told you to give me this money that i didn't know anything about. Right.
00:05:39
Speaker
So realizing after talking to my mom and getting one of my, is it my credit card bills or my student loans that the balance had gone up, I was shocked. when I was complaining about why do they keep on one, sending me these bills all the time. And then two, why is the balance going up?
00:05:59
Speaker
And my mom looked at me like, girl, are you crazy? That is big piece. And coupled with capitalization, which I learned or found out about when I went to figure out my whole financial life.
00:06:10
Speaker
Oh my gosh. And I was like, oh, so they really want this money back. And my mom's like, yeah, they really want their money back. And so I had to go on this journey. And mind you, I had graduated from Oberlin with a degree in political science and minors in economics and African-American studies. But did I know anything about personal finance?
00:06:28
Speaker
The answer is that. But I knew how to read and write. Right, right, right, right.
00:06:34
Speaker
So then i went to the library and asked the librarian, excuse me, do you have any books about money? And she was just like, yeah, go to this section. And that's when i found this whole, well, wasn't a whole section. It was like this small little raggedy shelf at the bottom with like a couple of books kind of scattered.
00:06:50
Speaker
And it was called the personal finance section. I was like, who knew? And so there was this one book by Glenda Bridgeforth called Girl, Get Your Money, right? Or Girl, Get Money Stray. I keep on forgetting name all the time.
00:07:01
Speaker
And that was my... saving grace and entry into the world of personal finance and specifically from the perspective of a black woman. And then I created a blog spot back in the day when blog spot was a thing called get your life together as a nice book.
00:07:18
Speaker
Yeah. I started to share my girlfriends because this was post 9-11. um a native New Yorker. i had graduated with this fancy degree, no job, no partner.
00:07:28
Speaker
You know, just a big old degree. and yeah that And i was like, is this happening to y'all too? Because this was not what they promised us. Yep. Yep. Yep. So I started to share my journey about, do you know that I'm in debt? And did you know that you had to get out of it?
00:07:41
Speaker
And they were like, me neither. I didn't know. And so was just sharing my journey with my girlfriend. right And then eventually people said, I want to hear more of your voice and more of your story. And then bought my own platform called the Frugal Feminista.
00:07:55
Speaker
I'm sorry, Fab and Frugal. Um, I wanted to do like, you know, it was back in sex in the city time and everything was right. But then got to be branded, uh, to the frugal feminista one for a legal issue because it was infringing on someone else's, uh, brand. And so I got a cease and desist letter. So that's the truth. Oh God. Yeah.
00:08:16
Speaker
It's about all the things, all the things, but the frugal feminista, I am a feminist slash woman and the FF sound, the alliteration works. And yeah so it gave me the the spaciousness to talk about what it means to be a black woman, what it means about to be um dealing with personal finance in a way that didn't feel limiting.
00:08:34
Speaker
So that's the story of the frugal feminist stuff. I love that. And I love that you're just so like honest about your experience. I couldn't agree more. Like, I'm sorry, but the fact that, and while, and while, while everyone does not go to college and especially today, you don't have to, to be honest.
00:08:52
Speaker
I feel like millennials and and before, like we were told you need to go to college, you need to get a degree, you have to go to a good school. Typically a good school meant it was an expensive school. You know, if God forbid your your parents can't pay outright, so you're either getting, trying to apply for grants or scholarships or get loans.
00:09:10
Speaker
And you're talking about an 18 year old that you're handing over thousands of dollars to. Tens of thousands dollars. Right. Tens of thousands of dollars to before most of them can even drink.
00:09:24
Speaker
Right. Right. So it's such a wild concept that we do that so freely here in America. Like I can't speak obviously for other countries, but I do know that we give out credit like it's nobody's business. And just culturally, we use credit like nobody's business.
Healing Financial Relationships
00:09:41
Speaker
Um, And then when you add being a black woman on top of that, um where just culturally, like, I don't, finance is not something that we talk about.
00:09:53
Speaker
Like I was raised to don't talk about money, don't talk about politics, like just like everybody else. But I feel like there was kind of this extra level of like, do not talk about it as a black woman. um So I just think it's so cool that you started this platform and you saw the white space, especially being a woman of color,
00:10:11
Speaker
talking about money like it's a scary topic yeah yeah no I think that mean since then there's been a lot of people that have come to the space and even since the the origin story of the frugal feminista I think that there was i think with a lot of people who start a platform, it's part, an extension of their particular journey.
00:10:31
Speaker
And I think that getting out of debt was the beginning of my journey, but then healing my relationship with money was where I think I really began to find my footing and true voice when it came to the personal finance space.
00:10:45
Speaker
Because I learned that um all the things that I was doing, you know, it's a funny story, but avoiding talking about money, being resentful about having to repay things. with things that I had learned from my mom, to be quite frank.
00:10:57
Speaker
yeah And so you know when she's like, what are you doing? I was like, what do mean? You taught me this. Like when right right but you it, you didn't want to hear that part. And so tried to do a lot of reflection because there was one thing that after having all these degrees and actually putting them to use, so I became a school teacher and then I became a school administrator. So I was, I guess, in the 1%, 5% that was making six figures um early on in my career.
00:11:23
Speaker
And yeah I was able to buckle down and get out of debt by you know living below my means. I had all types of mind hustles. It was you know a very... focused strategy once I learned that there was this this world of personal finance and there was this yeah importance of getting out of the debt.
00:11:39
Speaker
But yeah along the way, and but I found the true story, the deeper conversation around money came when I still felt anxious and fearful and sad and resentful, even when the numbers were numbering in the account.
00:11:52
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. So this sense of fear and anxiety and shame around money really began to have me think about, well, why the hell is this happening? If in fact, if the numbers are doing what they're supposed to do, I got out of this debt.
00:12:05
Speaker
What I still feel even more shackled in a lot of ways when it comes to my relationship with money, when I have money than when I didn't. And so that's, and that was also the time when there were a lot of things going on in my life.
00:12:17
Speaker
um you know, purpose, kind of like um I had, you know, there's this concept of the quarter life crisis. I think by then I must've been like 30. So it wasn't quarter life crisis. It was, you know, it must've been extended because it must've started with 25. Just keep on going.
00:12:30
Speaker
And so it was just like, why am I doing this? What does this all mean? So, and I had my, had my first, I guess I would consider my first breakdown um when I was an administrator and pregnant with my daughter.
00:12:43
Speaker
And i remember it was before Christmas break when I was an assistant principal and by like first school I was an assistant principal at, and I was crying uncontrollably on the couch. And then I Googled, I went to psychologytoday.com. I was like, I need to talk somebody. And just a shout out, not shout out to therapists, but like, y'all be calling people back. so lay Right, Right.
00:13:07
Speaker
They do. They do. so man I'm in a crisis. They're like, yeah, I'm not available. And I'm like, wait a minute. So long story short, as I found, i went on a couple of therapy kind of dates to figure out the therapist that would work for me.
00:13:20
Speaker
And I stayed with her. Like this is almost 10 years ago. And I yeah have this relationship with my therapist. And I share that to say is that through going through questions of worthiness, what it meant to be a black woman, burnout, kind of having this mammified role as an administrator, like a lot of times our leadership roles put us in this very corporate mammy position.
00:13:44
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. We give and give and give and then nothing's expected. we're supposed to keep on this mass. So we're both the strong black woman, the mammy, where we mother and nurture to the point of. Yeah. but And then I started to see how the over functioning, the performative, um the performative um perfectionism, all the things.
00:14:07
Speaker
Um, we're impacting just how, how authentically I showed up, what could ask for, what I thought versus what I thought I could get. And it really got to the root, not through me on exploring my sadness and exploring some of the hanks I was having my relationship with money in my childhood and seeing my mom struggle with depression yeah and things like that.
00:14:28
Speaker
And so that is where I really feel, um the conversations about money got really, really rich. I can't get out of debt, but can I tell you how to stay out of debt and then feel good about the process of not having money run your life, whether it be yeah spending too much and being in debt or hoarding every penny because you're afraid that, and you don't know what you're afraid of, but you're just afraid.
00:14:51
Speaker
And realizing that these messages were passed down, whether it be from good intention to protect us or just for lack of information. We talked about in the black community that the this was the place and the real healing happened.
00:15:05
Speaker
And our conversation around money just can't solely be about spreadsheets. It has. And I think the idea that you can heal your way to wealth became very, very clear to me through this journey.
00:15:18
Speaker
Yeah. I feel like when I was even starting to look you up and read more about like kind of your perspective, I think that that's one of the things that stuck out to me the most is the healing, healing the relationship, like healing the root cause of the negative relationship with money Because you can have all the money in the world. Like, I mean, I've had I've worked really well paying jobs and I've worked really poor paying jobs and I've never felt more anxious about money than when I made my most amount of money.
00:15:49
Speaker
You know what i mean? Like I didn't feel anxious about money when I wasn't making much, you know, like it just, it didn't, the relationship started to change the more and more I made. um Did you foster syndrome or anything? Like you weren't worthy of it? You know, I don't even, think what it, and even so I say this even now today, like I'm someone who's very um open about like, I struggle with money in the sense of like,
00:16:14
Speaker
Again, the feeling like I deserve, I think that's what it is. It's like, I feel like there's a ah there's a relationship or there's a feeling of like, I deserve this because I've worked so hard prior to that, you know?
00:16:29
Speaker
And kind of speaking about like your childhood, like my mom didn't have a lot. My mom was a single mom. She had two kids. and You know, by the time she was 23 years old, we struggled.
00:16:41
Speaker
And so the fact that I have a consistent paycheck and I can afford to live alone, like it's like these things feel like a reward to me. And so therefore spend as though I should reward myself for, you not being my mom and not having the struggles that she had.
00:17:00
Speaker
Right. um But in the same way, like I think the the reverse also tends to happen is I'm spending, but then I feel this sense of like shame that I'm spending in the way that I am, you know? And don't get me wrong. like I budget, I'm smart with money, but I know I could be smarter and I know I could clean things, some things up. And when I even think about getting into a relationship, it's something that I'm really insecure about, like not being financially savvy or not being financially responsible.
00:17:32
Speaker
So I definitely agree. I think there's this like underlying emotional, like emotional attachment to money. that goes beyond just having it or not having it.
00:17:44
Speaker
Right. No, no. And it's so interesting because we talk about, when I talk about just how I do workshops or speaking engagements around like the root cause and who was i our primary financial influence and seeing and what was like the story around money that you heard or saw, that this sense of reward comes from consumption, right? Because you felt so deprived.
00:18:08
Speaker
And so the sense of um I deserve it and then unpacking what does the deserving look like? Is it that, is it the spontaneity of it all? Is it the expense of it all? Is it the frequency of it all? And kind of going deeper into that. And then what could you go back and tell like um young Shannara to help her feel that, you know, that she is not her mother, her mother's money story is not hers. And look at all the various ways that I'm sure you're over 23 now and you don't have children.
00:18:36
Speaker
And then even understanding that that reality is her reality and her story and that there are things that you can leave behind with grace and empathy and compassion, but that has nothing to do with how you want to have your financial story manifest.
00:18:52
Speaker
in five years, 10 years, even five months. And then really being able to paint a picture of, well, you know, what are my values? You know, like if you, the shame around spending may come from maybe you think you're spending frivolously, but if you were to actually look at like, what are some of the things that I actually really, really enjoy without even thinking about, and then looking at the things that I don't,
00:19:14
Speaker
And then being able to save money there without feeling this sense of deprivation because right deprivation is something that's this idea of, I don't want to go back to that. don't ever want to feel that way again. And that's, that gives me the opposite feelings of what I'm trying to avoid.
00:19:27
Speaker
but what if you able, but then it also has some consequences to it. So in that space of being able to identify what you don't wanna be and then find the co coping mechanism or whatever it is you're you're using to help hopefully avoid that feeling, is it actually offering that to you or what would be a better alternative yeah feeling while you still get the sense of not being deprived?
00:19:51
Speaker
yeah Also, you feel good about the purchases that you've made. Yeah. Yeah. yeah You may want to do the work, you know, and then be able to say a story that there are ways that I can reward myself without feeling irresponsible about my spending. And then what would that look like? And what would that feel like? And what would and who, you know, and.
00:20:12
Speaker
Who would I maybe need to talk to to implement a system of budgeting or, you know, your accountability? Like, and so you begin to create an ecosystem around your values and your money versus being here and one being over there.
00:20:24
Speaker
Right, right. That's such a good point. you know, working in the corporate world, I think there's also this level of the kind of keeping up with the Joneses. um As you get into, like, you know, at this point, I've been working for what, like 15, 14 years, and I've gotten better titles, and I've made more money.
00:20:45
Speaker
And so in my mind, I think there's also this like, leadership or or success that people tend to a company with money. and i and And not just men, i think I think women honestly do this quite a bit as well in terms of like, oh, I'm a successful leader. I'm a someone of perceived value in the workplace.
00:21:08
Speaker
um I deserve to walk around with the best clothes. I deserve to walk around with the the best um purses or, you know, whatever that thing
Financial Success vs. Professional Image
00:21:18
Speaker
is. So I'm curious, like, how often are do you work with, you know, women that are in the corporate space or women leaders and kind of like, what are, what's the journey that they have to go on? Or maybe like the breaking apart of, of relationships between success and money. I'm just curious, like how some of those conversations go.
00:21:39
Speaker
Yeah, I think we talk about like conspicuous consumption. Like what does it mean external validation around me? Whether judging it, not judging it at all, just saying like, what does success look like to you, right?
00:21:50
Speaker
And then kind of doing some practical things like what's already in your closet that you've already had this idea. There's something clearly in your closet that you might not have worn or something that you might not have used that may give you this sense or give you this feeling.
00:22:04
Speaker
So there's one. And then secondly is, um Have you found people who are successful that don't have um that look, right? So looking for the ah the non-example to show that, you still, um are you saying then that when someone is successful and I guess to keep the respect of other people and admiration of other people, you have to trust a certain way. So I think getting down into, you want to be perceived as smart, valuable, and you think the expense of your clothes rather than clothes fitting well,
00:22:39
Speaker
rather than having clothes that fit your style that really give you confidence. And I think that's how the other things are because you can see someone where they may you know they may have to name the the brand for you to see the expense because it doesn't person.
00:22:58
Speaker
That's a good point. Yeah. Versus having a style that it comes from inside out. I think a lot of times when people focus only on the name brand or the purse or whatever, and they don't like it, it doesn't really offer what they're looking for. Hence the purchasing more and more and more of it.
00:23:14
Speaker
I think when you love something, you're going to rock And there's going to be a energy around the confidence it brings you. And there's going to be a story. There's going to be a lighting up of um inside of you that just says there's a connection between you and that purchase because, you know, whatever you like, the colors, you like the style, you like the feel.
00:23:30
Speaker
And I think that has to happen first to make the purchases make sense because then it's like a missing ah mismatch between one, the purchase itself. Two, the value, right? And then three, the feeling that you're expecting to have that outcome and it doesn't exist. There's a disconnect.
00:23:49
Speaker
So I think it's first, what do you actually like? yeah And then purchasing what you actually like and then thinking, okay, I like this thing. How much does it cost? Okay, what's my budget that I'm going to put for outfits?
00:24:01
Speaker
So we're not saying yeah illuminate it, but it's like, okay, if I tend to have tastes that are you know, on the expensive side, you can do a couple of things. One, you can create a sinking fund for clothes that, for work clothes.
00:24:15
Speaker
And, you know, you can say, okay, I'm $500, depending on, you know, whatever your budget is, or 10% or whatever it is, you're going to put away for that part of your budget for work. yeah And then there's other things like we know that, um,
00:24:31
Speaker
15 years ago, 10 years ago, nobody wanted to thrift that was a black woman because that's like, yeah, it's in style. it's the It's all the thing. Yeah. Everyone talks about it. It's almost like a bragging. Like you want to brag about thrifting. It's such a good deal.
00:24:46
Speaker
Exactly. So finding what you like and then finding alternatives is a great thing. Um, I think also, i don't know the cost effectiveness depending on the wear, the frequency. There's a lot of renting the runway pieces that you're looking for. So I think just to kind of sum up the whole thing is that there's a lot of inner work that has to happen first, but there's a lot of practical things that you don't have to do as a result.
00:25:10
Speaker
You do not have to eliminate the budget. know what I mean? You just have to get smart about how much is it, what is that you're actually going purchase? Does it actually offer you the feeling that you're looking for? You know, because economically speaking, there's a concept called diminishing returns, you know, thinking about the second or third pair of or bag or shoes, that fifth purchase is not going to add any more- Any value, yeah. Or value, right? yeah you have to find that number. Like, do you actually rotate through all your shoes?
00:25:39
Speaker
Which ones are the actual shoes that you use? And then you can get even clearer with creating like a a custom wardrobe for yourself that gets the most use and the most joy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that.
00:25:50
Speaker
um So you touched on confidence a little bit. And I i saw somewhere, I saw on on your site, something that you had said around, um you know, confidence and financial clarity going hand in hand. Like, can you...
00:26:04
Speaker
talk about that a little bit more and what shifts um women can start to make to to again start to kind of march towards that connection between the two because I feel like I know a lot of people who are really confident but don't have a lot of financial savviness and flip-flop you know right and I think that's the whole thing I think the confidence isn't kind of one of those in your face kind of, yeah no ah for lack of a better term, like sassy, brash, kind of this outward kind of confidence.
00:26:38
Speaker
And I can give an example of, I left my good paying government job to move across to Ghana to live, to pursue a dream. That's confidence, right?
00:26:48
Speaker
It came from a financial stability and clarity of my streams of income. I have zero debt. I have this invested. i have this amount of years that I can try and make this thing work.
00:27:01
Speaker
yeah yeah it's it So it's thinking about the backend. Right. A lot of us talk about like the clothes and the external um measures of, guess, confidence. I mean, because those things aren't, don't get me wrong. yeah There's another, but there's other things that come into play that make it sustainable.
00:27:19
Speaker
Right. And even scalable. Yeah. I think that is what I talk about confidence. So if you were to say you're in ah in ah and a high paying corporate job and let's just say for the sake of numbers,
00:27:30
Speaker
you make a hundred thousand dollars after taxes. Right. Yeah. You say, okay, if I can live below my means and save 50% of my income, right. For say six years.
00:27:41
Speaker
Right. That is what, $300,000, right? Plus whatever you may be saving for retirement or investment. That is very clear that in and six years, you have 300, just say in cash, you do nothing else with it.
00:27:55
Speaker
That's confidence. You can say, no, i'm not taking that job. No, I'm not doing that. No, you know I'm going to have more time freedom. ye I'm going to do something else that I think would allow me to really explore the ends of my humanity.
00:28:13
Speaker
that sometimes that confidence can't come with living paycheck to paycheck or right lead drain on, you know, income. ah job i think the confidence and the financial or confidence and financial stability and clarity come together because you have clear understandings about what your goals are what your milestones are, and then what you may want to do once you reach them.
00:28:38
Speaker
And yeah your level of independence um and freedom and ability to dream again. Like what would I actually if I weren't doing this? you know And I think that's what I meant by that.
00:28:49
Speaker
That's literally such a, you know, a dream of mine that I've always had is living abroad. Like I want to pack up my stuff. I want to move to France and live there full time. Right.
00:29:00
Speaker
But when I tell you the anxiety that comes when I think about not having a full time corporate American salary paying job. Like it, it's, it just, it brings so much like, Oh God, out could I do that? Like, could I, you know what i mean? Like, and, and oh me yes, please, please. Right. Exactly. Yeah. And I'm like, but it's like things like that, um, that I think the, you mentioned freedom and that's the thing that I think holds me back from doing something like that is like having that financial freedom.
00:29:34
Speaker
I mean, I still have student loans and I'm like, i just don't really want to touch you, but it's like, you know, the same thing of like, They got, someone's got to pay them, you know? um And if I quit my job and move to France, like the those bills will still need to be paid.
00:29:49
Speaker
right um And so there's a lot of, yeah, i think I think the lack of financial stability strips you of that sense of freedom oftentimes. And I think too, like even let's just say you wanted to go to France for a year. What's wrong with trying France for two weeks and seeing how it works?
00:30:06
Speaker
You don't have wait until the whole picture Right. Is seeing baby step into it. Yeah. And I think that may satisfy you and then maybe motivate you, quite frankly, like one this and then that can actually trigger you into being okay, not just rely on like vibes, but then okay, what systems do I have to put into place? How can I accelerate my student loan? So say it's like, you know, $300 a month, or if I double it for six months, right, and then kind right,
00:30:33
Speaker
you're paying the minimum plus like say 10% for another six months, where would I be? So it's those kinds of questions instead of these kind of broad. Yeah. Broad strokes. Yeah.
00:30:44
Speaker
but yeah My husband and i like he always makes fun of me when I talk about like, you know, you always love this magic, this magic. And I was like, yeah, yeah. Like I love the magic. I love the magic. yes like I like to write things down and like cross it off my list. Like, okay, here's the plan.
00:30:57
Speaker
And I don't think, and then a dream, you know, i don't know what they say, like the dream without ah a plan is just a dream or something like that, whatever, but you really need to do the numbers. And just for transparency, it took my husband and I years to figure out like, okay, we're going to move to Ghana. It wasn't some influencer. Let me just get on this plane and see what happens.
00:31:18
Speaker
No, I'm a fully grown and right? And and right and yeah It was, okay, what debt do we have? Where can we cut down on cost?
00:31:30
Speaker
Let's go visit and see if living there is really something we want to do before we just kind of up and quit. And even with that, there's always going to be adjustments, but you've made an informed risk. And I think right you you de-risked as much as possible to live that dream. And that requires the role that finances plays and all that in creating your career.
00:31:51
Speaker
Yeah. So you talk about writing things down. I'm curious, like, how do you get your, the people that you work with, how do you even get them started on budgeting? Like, cause I think budgeting can be very overwhelming, especially if you are not a numbers person.
Budgeting and Financial Freedom
00:32:05
Speaker
I think it also could be really overwhelming if you're doing it solo versus like having a partner that you're budgeting with. So like, how do you get um those you work with started? Like, what are kind of some of the tips and tricks that you provide just as like an easy kind of like, if you don't do anything else, do these few things.
00:32:20
Speaker
Okay. I would say a couple of things. One, um before you budget, I think you should track how you're spending. And that if you use your debit card, you excuse me, kind of go through it and see how much is spent on X, how much is spent on Y. So you actually, before you start slicing and dicing through your budget, right right like have it be informed.
00:32:38
Speaker
So I would say first start with it just to get accustomed to like, these are my numbers and this is how much I tend to spend. And then looking at and say, okay, Could I spend a little bit less? So there's that's the first thing. And I would say the second thing is starting. There's a lot of rules of thumb that love to start with. There's like the 50 30 20 rule where you spend like your your income is divided into three buckets. 50 percent goes towards your needs.
00:33:03
Speaker
You know, not growing out, but like food, shelter um and medicine, transportation, the basics. Right. And then 30% goes toward either fun and your wants.
00:33:19
Speaker
So you don't feel like you're fine. And 20% goes toward like your financial long-term goals, resaving or debt elimination. And then sometimes people who want to get a little bit more aggressive flip those last two numbers to do. Okay.
00:33:32
Speaker
30, 20, where 30% goes towards the savings and the debt elimination and 20% goes toward, um, their, um, their fun. And so there's someplace that you can start there.
00:33:45
Speaker
Um, I also find that. When you look at working backwards, if you say, say, for example, paying yourself first, people say that a lot. But what that means too is automating how much you want to save every month, like putting that first part of any budgeting. So before anybody gets their, you know, their, their student loan payment, you get paid first and right you need it.
00:34:11
Speaker
So you have, okay, I don't care. 500 goes to me first. And then everybody meets. Okay. Okay. That, and then your budget kind of adjusts to being a saving centered budget where I don't know what's going to happen. We may not be able to do X, Y, and Z, but this has to happen first.
00:34:30
Speaker
And then I'm yeah ill like, I'll check what's in the pantry. I will, you know, there's no shopping this month or there's less shopping this month because this was, this had to be done or those things had to be adjusted to meet this priority goal. Right.
00:34:44
Speaker
So right that just picking one focus, like I want to eliminate $500 worth of debt and then everything else happens first. I want to save $500 and everything else happens first. I want to invest $500 and then everything else happens um next.
00:34:58
Speaker
That can give you a focus point. And then you get creative and say, okay, this is how it feels. And I can kind of switch and flip to see what other goals I can meet. Yeah. And I feel like it puts you in that mindset of a routine.
00:35:10
Speaker
yeah You know what i mean? Like it kind of but gives you something to constantly track. I think that for me, as someone who's very type a like i I do enjoy budgeting because it just gives me you know, a concrete thing to either write down or check off or, you know, something that gives me a gold star. So I can say like, I did it.
00:35:27
Speaker
um So it also, I think like once you, but it's hard at first, like it was very hard for me to get into the habit at first. And even from time to time, especially like this, the beginning of the year, I moved and I was kind of doing a lot of like shuffling around. So like for a couple of months, like I wasn't writing down my budget because I just like,
00:35:44
Speaker
quite frankly, couldn't even really keep up with like what I was spending to even like move in, you know? um But as long as you kind of have like that system, I feel like that works for you. It's easy to come back to it.
00:35:55
Speaker
um Even if you stray away from it for a second. i think that's the line I think that's a good point because life is going to life. And I think that correct the the financial advice when I was like, you know, learning more about personal finance was extremely punitive. It was extremely white male centered or white male centered. And it was just like, you're a bum, you know, like you want everything.
00:36:15
Speaker
And I don't believe in that. Like, there are going to be times when you're not you're not able to budget or the budgeting isn't a priority. And so what?
00:36:26
Speaker
you start again, you know, without, you know, shaming yourself even more into education and into, you don't have to be perfect to make progress. yeah And so I think those are important parts of seeing that it doesn't have to be perfect for you to be a saver or to be someone that invests or someone that is leaning toward learning more about finances.
00:36:47
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that's so key. Okay. Well, I always ask that, like finish my conversations with this question. um if you knew then what, you know, now, what, what do you, what advice would you have given yourself, you know, 20 to like 25 years old? So like, this is like baby Kara.
00:37:08
Speaker
ah She was just starting out. What advice would you give to yourself? I would say take more risks im okay I I would think that, um I mean, I was traveling a lot between 20 and 25, but like I was saying, I was so afraid of kind of shooting my shot at certain things. I was just, like, even just so this this idea, and it's crazy, like, you know, if I'm not back in America, like, I even limited how much fun I would have, like, say, when I was living in other the places, because like, oh, my soulmate or whoever is in New York waiting for me. And I was like, but... Yes.
00:37:43
Speaker
And so it's kind of like, Do you see what I'm saying? Yes. Everything that you want to do. and Correct. And I know for as much as I am a planner, do not forsake your present for your future. Future, yep yeah yeah Even though I'm a person that believes in putting in systems in place to do the thing for you, you have to live now.
00:38:03
Speaker
And because those things actually set you up for the abundance that a lot of us are looking for. Yes. So I will say that. Yeah. No, I love that thought. I was literally just having this conversation with a group of friends the other day of like, you know, I think there's a lot, a lot of times people will ask the question of like, what is something that you regret?
00:38:24
Speaker
And I'm like, you know, I, quote unquote good decisions or bad decisions, like I don't regret any of them because they've created the person that I am today. right So, you know, to to say, oh man, I wish I didn't, I would not have spent whatever on that trip when I was 21 years old. Like, no, because that trip opened my eyes to a different culture or a different experience or it gave me, so i brought I got something from it.
00:38:51
Speaker
And had I not done that, that would have been one less experience that added to the, you know, the person that I am today. so i definitely, I love that thought process of like, take more risks. Don't let things hold you back because at the end of the day you don't know what the future holds.
00:39:07
Speaker
Like you can live responsibly without limiting yourself. And I think that lot of times people are really afraid to, live with like kind of that we only have today mindset. They only think it's it's like a feast or famine thing. They don't necessarily feel like they can live in that, but still like be responsible with some life decisions. Exactly. And I would say even now that like, I'm not dead.
00:39:29
Speaker
So I have, if I have more breath, I can still take risks. You know, it's not that window of 20 to 25 is not over. I can take this. It's the only time. Exactly.
00:39:40
Speaker
So I would i would say that because yeah um um especially um because we are so much in a, and you know, I talk about money, but I also don't want to conflate having globs and globs of money and being happy, you know?
Creative Financial Strategies
00:39:59
Speaker
Correct. And so so, you know, I saw someone say the other day, like, you're to die soon. Take the flights. i mean, I'm not that extreme, Right, right, right. I would say, though, if you don't have the money, how can you get the money?
00:40:14
Speaker
Right, right. No saying no to the dream. and no Right, right, right. the issue Rather than just I'm just going to put on a credit card. Okay, before we get to the credit card, what are some creative ways that we can do it debt-free? Yep, yep.
00:40:26
Speaker
So get creative with it if you want to fund it, but don't say no to something because you can't afford it. Figure out a way to fund it. Love that. Well, thank you so much for being on the podcast today. How can folks find you? How do you like to like connect and communicate with those who are looking for some financial advice?
00:40:45
Speaker
Yeah, so you can sign up for, i have a whole bunch of free stuff on the site. um I have um ah have downloads of the of my book, excerpts of my book, Heal Your Relationship with Money.
00:40:56
Speaker
um You can go to thefrugalfeminista.com forward slash community to get that. I have a Breakup with Broken Brokenness kit that you can download too at thefrugalfeminista.com.
00:41:08
Speaker
You can follow me on Instagram at frugalfeminista and on LinkedIn. um Kara Stevens and Facebook, you know, we're there.
00:41:21
Speaker
You can't be on everything, I guess. I will definitely make sure that everyone that I, you know, include the links and all of that kind of stuff in in the show notes so people can find you as well. So. Thank Well, thank you so much for chatting with me today. i truly enjoyed our conversation and it definitely made me think about a couple of things that I might need to talk to my therapist about during our next session.
00:41:41
Speaker
So thank you so much. Yes, I love it. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of The Good Guide, the podcast dedicated to guiding you through every twist and turn in your career journey. If you loved this episode, make sure to leave those five-star reviews and share this podcast with a friend, loved one, or hey, even a colleague.
00:42:04
Speaker
If you have a topic that you'd like for me to tackle, check out this week's show notes for links to where you can submit your question. It might even be featured during the Q&A segment of the next episode.
00:42:15
Speaker
But first, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss a beat. Take care, y'all.