Transcript
Speaker: Looking for a way to waste your money and get pointless attention?
Speaker: Come on down to Sob Parlor, a New York City's first pop-up cry spa that offers New Yorkers a place to have an attention-starved conniption fit in front of others.
Speaker: What's the point of crying if no one's around to see or hear it?
Speaker: Amateur New Yorkers in need of an emotional release can book a 30-minute appointment in a private cry room where they're welcome to come sob on your lunch break and then go right back to work.
Speaker: Here we have the highest inflation since I've been alive.
Speaker: Border security is a joke.
Speaker: People all over America are dying from fentanyl, immigrant crime.
Speaker: Literally, everything is terrible.
Speaker: And you're going to go out of your way to pay to cry in front of people.
Speaker: You are the dumbest, biggest attention whore on the planet.
Speaker: You want to drop 20 bucks to cry?
Speaker: Come over to my house.
Speaker: I'll let you cry at my driveway.
Speaker: You ain't coming in.
Speaker: And I'll do it for 15.
Speaker: And I'll give you an hour.
Speaker: How about spending $20 to go laugh somewhere?
Speaker: Oh, wait.
Speaker: You mean comedy clubs?
Speaker: Congratulations, New York City.
Speaker: You've installed amateur stations.
