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Smithology Part 1: The Man, The Smith, The Legend
54 Plays1 year ago
This episode was inevitable.
Hope and Ella talk about their favorite Agent, Smith! They talk about Smith A LOT. They barely get through his wikipedia in this first half of a TWO PART SMITH SPECIAL, part 2 of which will be dropping later this month!
Stick around after the awkward split down the middle for a rare performance of Orson Welles reading the role of Agent Smith, and we will coincidentally thank friend of the show Stephen Foxworthy for no reason whatsoever.
Stephen is @chewywalrus on most forms of social media, and you should check out his show Disenfranchised, available at your local podcast dispensary.
@MatrixQueerPod on IG/Twitter
Ella Cesari is
https://twitter.com/drawnwithoutref
https://instagram.com/drawnwithoutref
https://ellacesari.weebly.com
Hope Lichtner is
@HopeLichtner on IG/Tumblr/AO3. good luck!
The Matrix music, clips and dialogue are all copyright Warner Brothers and we own NONE of it.
contact us at [email protected]
@MatrixQueerPod on IG/Twitter
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Transcript
Agent Smith's Philosophy and Humanity
00:00:00
Speaker
As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Anderson. I'd like to share a revelation.
00:00:13
Speaker
I killed you, Mr. Anderson. I watched you die. The human beings are the disease. You destroyed me, Mr. Anderson. For this purpose of creating this. We are here because of you, Mr. Anderson. Billions of people just living out their lives.
00:00:32
Speaker
Oblivious. Can you feel it, Mr. Anderson? It's the smell I must get out of here. I must get free. You hear that, Mr. Anderson? That is the song you think of it about. The promise of life is to end. Welcome. Can you feel it, Mr. Anderson?
00:01:02
Speaker
closing in on you. I think it's just mostly going to be us quoting Smith. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. Yeah. What's your favorite Smith quote? Because I think it's that. I think mine is. Can you feel it, Mr. Anderson? Just that you're asking me to please between my Hugo Wheezing children.
00:01:22
Speaker
I'm so sorry. There are so many good lines. But the one that comes to mind immediately is, uh, it's the smell. I mean... Like, because he just lingers in that word. Oh, God. I was in preparation for this episode. He's a leaving love talking. Like, the way Smith talks is like, it's like he's, and it's kind of true to his character, but it's like,
00:01:43
Speaker
This is someone who's never talked before and is just learning, like, talking and he's, like, enjoying every second of it. That's... Like, let me say as many words as possible because it's so fun to do it.
00:01:55
Speaker
That is actually, I think the greatest description of, of agent Smith I've ever heard. That's true. Right. Cause I mean, his whole thing is about, you know, ironically to his agency rather. Right. Oh my God. All right. I've got to open up like five new tabs. Cause I've already got 15 open.
The Matrix and Pop Culture Impact
00:02:15
Speaker
Oh yeah, so this is our, this is our smithology two parter. This is part one that you're listening to now. Yeah. I'm going to split this down the middle. I don't know yet, but.
00:02:27
Speaker
I guess we'll find out. Hey, if the Wachowskis found a way to split. Yeah, you know what? We'll find a way to. Let's just split it awkwardly suddenly without warning or comprehension. That doesn't really make narrative sense. Right. On an upside down shot of some guy we've only seen for 18 collective seconds. Yeah. Yeah. It's only the finest of Matrix traditions.
00:02:57
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, my God. So we're gonna dive right into Smith. I mean, we've done our coverage of the first three movies, and I think we wanted to take a break before we got into the other films. But I mean, I think Smith probably dominated most of our conversations in the first
00:03:15
Speaker
Couple episodes anyway, so I mean I I've just fully accepted recently that I have just an entire crush on Hugo weaving so I think we have a Smith podcast that sometimes talks about other That's probably more accurate Yes, I don't like how the dungeons dungeons and more dungeons episode of mr. Shek look back was a weird owl podcast that talked a little bit about Gravity Falls I I mean Yeah, it's
00:03:45
Speaker
How can you not? How can you not? Shit, I've got like nine or ten windows just dedicated to Agent Smith. And I've just got all these pictures of Hugo Weaving. Okay, my friend, do yourself a favor and go on to the Wikipedia entry for Hugo Weaving. He's got the greatest Wikipedia headshot I've ever seen. All right, I'm looking it up in real time. Oh, shit. Can I Google?
00:04:13
Speaker
You know, leaving. Oh, it's so good. Take a look. Oh, daddy. He's got the eyebrow. Oh, God, that God, that hairline, the eyebrow, the beard. Let Smith grow a beard. You cowards. I mean, we saw how powerful Neil was after he grew a beard. Spoilers. But if you let Smith have a beard, it would have been over. God almighty.
00:04:44
Speaker
That's just I'm I gotta tear myself away from this Yeah, they should just do a matrix beard edition Yeah, so matrix beard edition is just Smith introducing his girlfriend. Oh God that actually hang on
00:05:08
Speaker
Uh, as I try to Google something in real time, uh, on my own self, there was, if I'm remembering correctly in the matrix online, there was a female agent. Does she have a name? Oh, okay. Nine female agent. Was there one in resurrection? I don't remember. I don't think so.
00:05:32
Speaker
Here we go. I understand the narrative reasons for there not being any women. I mean, they're supposed to be generic white dudes. Yeah. Oh boy. I mean, if it's like in the newer Star Wars movies, I was like, ah, diversity win. We have a female Imperial now. Yeah, right. It's that Democrat joke of like more female cops. Whoo. Yeah.
00:05:55
Speaker
Okay, so this is, okay, if Agent Smith is our subject for the episode, then the overarching theme of this episode is the Matrix, sorry, matrix.fandom.com slash wiki is a mess. Good God. Now how so? Cause a lot of wikis are messes in different ways. I'm pretty sure it's mostly just the fault of the overall like, um,
00:06:24
Speaker
format like the generic you know blogspot style format of a fandom wiki but it's like got all the fucking green lettering and the rain on it and the articles I mean yeah you okay for this sort of article the fact that it's the green fine the rain code fine but then it has 40 billion pop-up ads
00:06:51
Speaker
And the ads combined with the digital rain backdrop it just it's confusing to the eyeballs I've learned to edit out ads, but I can't do all of this at once. I think Smith is the pop-up ads
00:07:09
Speaker
Mr. Anderson, there's singles over 40 in your area. Mr. Anderson, you can get 2.99 APR percent financing up front. You won't last 30 seconds playing this game.
00:07:29
Speaker
Oh, God. All right. Well, you win. Anyway, it speaks to, I guess, the popularity or lack thereof of the matrix in like the mainstream that like like something like Wookie Pedia, you really can't get away with vandalizing because that is monitored like 24 seven. They'll shoot you on site. And then in the case of something like Gravity Falls, it's not mainstream, but the fan base for it is so tight knit and you know.
00:07:53
Speaker
There are dozens of us that you can't really get away with vandalizing that wiki either. But I feel like with this one, it's not like the nicest as far as upkeep. No offense intended to the Addams of the Matrix wiki, but it's, you know, you could probably get away with putting some false information on there every once in a while. You probably could. Hmm.
00:08:16
Speaker
What a lot of a lot of actual true information about The Matrix is so fucking ridiculous. You could make shit up in it. We're going to get into that. I was doing some reading like for our last few episodes that were just recaps. I really did little to no research because, you know, I've been living with these movies for 20 odd years.
Agent Pace and Hugo Weaving's Career
00:08:38
Speaker
In fact, the other day was the 20th anniversary of revolutions. Happy birthday.
00:08:43
Speaker
to the Matrix Revolutions, November the 5th, the most third movie of all time, November the 5th, 2003. And it's the first best Matrix movie. I, uh, hmm. Hmm. I get it. I don't agree, but I get it. Anyway, you can have it be your favorite and it can still also be the fifth best.
00:09:08
Speaker
Yes. Uh, agent pace was a female agent who succeeded, uh, seceded, sorry. Uh, agent Skinner as a liaison for the machines. So this was the, yeah. Oh, an architect.
00:09:35
Speaker
You know, it's funny. I spend all day, uh, uh, work day cussing at, uh, technology. And then I come home and I start a podcast about a movie series that is kind of anti-technology. Yeah. And then I end up cussing at technology again. Oh my God. So we were talking about, uh, agent pace. Yes. Agent pace. Uh, this was the alternate timeline after.
00:10:01
Speaker
revolutions in the Matrix online video game, which I never played because I fucking hate MMOs, but there is supposed to be this truce with the machines and humankind and Agent Pace was apparently
00:10:18
Speaker
The liaison, she's not wearing a tie. She's got her shirt unbuttoned basically all the way down to the middle. It's very funny in that neoliberal sense, like you were talking about, of the peace broker between the machines and the humans. It's like, look, we have a female. We're being nice to you. Yeah.
00:10:39
Speaker
Yeah. The boot in your face was manufactured by a union. Yeah, it's something I do love very genuinely about Matrix Wiki is under occupation. It's listed as purpose. Protect the matrix. Ensure positive relations between machine factions and Zion. Yeah. Yeah. That's purpose. Well, it is purpose that drives this.
00:11:03
Speaker
It is purpose that drives us. And let's get back on the actual today's subject, shall we? Agent fucking Smith. You're right. Holy shit. The greatest. Oh, Agent Pace was Italian.
00:11:21
Speaker
I like her. Good for her. Good for her. Good crush. You only hits your eye like a big pizza pie, Mr. Anderson. That is amore. Although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as amore.
00:11:44
Speaker
Oh, God. So, so, yes, there's so much that we this I have so much to talk about. Yeah, I mean, why don't we let's let your let's let your research kind of guide us through this. All right. Well, for starters, we should probably just set some ground level information. Hugo Weaving is a British actor born on the 4th of April, 1960. He's been active since 1981.
00:12:10
Speaker
Oh shit, his niece is Samara Weaving, who played Little Bill, I want to say, in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. No, sorry, Bill and Ted's Face the Music. Shit, that's amazing. That's a weird connection.
00:12:27
Speaker
Oh, yeah, the Keanu. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm not familiar with much of his work because he's mostly a stage guy and just does film apparently to pay the bills. God bless him. Yeah. And what bills he paid. I mean, he's in fucking three of the biggest franchises of the past 20 years. I mean, yeah, Lord of the Rings, Matrix.
00:12:52
Speaker
Marvel shit, that's right. He was in he was in a pre-endgame Marvel movie But not the one that made a ton of money Well, well, it's we all it's on Disney Plus and we all know streaming pays out really well You're right. I just it's like You know you think after we saw how much infinity war made is
00:13:21
Speaker
Yeah, I also think I mean, he's a Transformers as well, right? Oh, shit, Transformers. That's fucking right. God almighty. I don't know too much about the man personally. I feel like I remember him saying somewhere that he was just kind of burned out on franchise movies and we're just going to, you know, I mean, I as somebody who runs a podcast about a franchise series, I fucking get it.
00:13:50
Speaker
It's, it's understandable, my friend. Yeah. Yeah. So that makes me wonder if like, cause I know for, uh, resurrections, I think it's like Lawrence Fishburne wasn't even asked, but I wonder if.
00:14:04
Speaker
If Hugo was asked and then you just, I think if memory serves, uh, Hugo was asked, but it was a scheduling conflict because I mean, resurrections was subject to the delays from COVID and all that. So, um, it's, uh, but, uh,
00:14:22
Speaker
Given the script that they have. You recently played Big Addy in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof at the Sydney Theatre Company. Oh! Yeah, that profile picture on Wikipedia really supports the Big Daddy thing. Ha ha ha! Fuckin' all say. Jesus Christ. Um... Oh god, I realized that I- I think he went to school with, um... Oh, who is that guy? From... Don't Tell Me. You don't have to cut this. Alright, I...
00:14:54
Speaker
Who's this guy? Jeffrey Rush, I think he went to school with. Makes sense. I keep opening the podcast notes by accident. I'm just looking for the goddamn script to the matrix that I'm pretty sure I have saved in a drive somewhere, but irrelevant. Let's see. Agent Smith created by the architect
00:15:23
Speaker
I wonder if that's actually canon or just horse shit. Or they all. Sorry. I mean, they all created by the architect. I guess I mean.
00:15:37
Speaker
Okay. If you think about it, like from just like, if, if, if the architect is literally just that he designed and created the matrix, he built it, you know, from the ground up, was he the guy also in charge of all of the programs in the matrix? There's got to be like other HR programs, like agents.
00:16:00
Speaker
I mean, probably, but let's see. He was portrayed in the original trilogy by Hugo Weaving, Ian Bliss via Bane, and in Resurrections by Jonathan Groff, but we'll get to him later. He was also apparently voiced by Matt McKenzie, and it's not telling me where he was voiced by Matt McKenzie.
00:16:29
Speaker
Well, I know in the games, it was still Hugo evening, wasn't it? I'm pretty sure since they just got everybody on for Enter the Matrix, the video game, and he's listed it as being in literally, oh, the matrix path of Neo. There it is. Nobody came back for that one. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think anybody came back for that. Don't quote me on that.
00:16:56
Speaker
path of Neo voice cast. I'm going to embarrass the shit out of myself right now. Aren't I? Watch like fucking Lawrence Fishburne. I've been in that thing. I was like, buddy, I'm so sorry. Oh, he was voiced by Matt McKenzie in the Animatrix. In the Animatrix? Really weird. Yeah. Okay. For his little cameo. Huh? Oddball? Whatever. Um,
00:17:23
Speaker
I've got too many windows open. He's been in The Matrix, all of it. He's just, if you look at the appearance section, that's just all of The Matrix. And that one commercial with the hospital machines, right? That caught me so off guard when it came up in like 2013 on Hulu or whatever the hell, just
00:17:47
Speaker
What was it for? I am GE, General Electric. Yeah, yeah. I get the feeling that I'm going to edit the shit out of this episode and just do a lot of sound drops. Yes, please. I want to hear it. I want to hear him offer the lollipops to that child. God, the more... Which doesn't really make sense, because actually, that was more of he is, but, you know. God, it just... It's also doesn't really make sense. He's like, yes, he's going to hook you up to these machines that are going to save your miserable lives.
00:18:19
Speaker
Kinda makes me wary about getting plugged into a hospital machine if Smith is so happy about it. What's it gonna do to me? Is it gonna make me a battery?
00:18:28
Speaker
I mean, I guess technically we already are, if we're already in the Matrix. It doesn't become like a nesting doll of plug-ins. Oh, are you suggesting that that commercial takes place in the Matrix? There's a thousand fucking Agent Smiths in what other, like, what other reality could it be taking place in? Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:18:54
Speaker
Sometime during Reloaded and Revolutions, he took 10 minutes to cast a couple of day players. Some people not yet assimilated.
00:19:07
Speaker
Yeah, he was in a, he was in a, he was like, this hospital has excellent lighting. I should take advantage of it and shoot it like scrubs that hits it. It's going to be like, there's like, yeah, there's like a director Smith. There's a, there's a PA Smith, like all rights people quiet on set. Yeah. Just with like Jodhpur's on and a little beret. There's a, there's a matrix that, sorry, there's a Smith doing a Smith's makeup.
00:19:39
Speaker
Ready for my close-up, Mr. Smith? We've barely made it into Smith's Wikipedia entry. I think this is par for the course, for us. But Smith, we love this episode. Smith, it's just all about him. Him, him, him. Exactly.
00:19:58
Speaker
I mean, I think that's, it's fair to say that's a big part of his character, right? The narcissism. It really is because, I mean, not, I mean, I guess we're supposed to get a little hoity-toity about the Matrix on a Matrix podcast, but like, if Neo is the one, Smith is the zero. Hey, it's the computer binary.
00:20:21
Speaker
But Neo is always very selfless, and that would make sense that Smith is very selfish. Yeah, and they both love very, very deeply. It's just that Neo loves others, and Smith loves only himself. Yeah, exactly. And boy, does he love to hate Neo. It's great, and so did- And these are emotions that he only unlocked because of Neo.
00:20:46
Speaker
It's true. It's true. I don't know. I mean, he was feeling it in a subtle way originally, right? As he talks to Morpheus about how secretly he hates the place. Yes. But Neo allows him to come out, so to speak, about his feelings, which I think is, again, puts them on this dyad where, like...
Neo and Smith's Interconnected Growth
00:21:06
Speaker
Dyad, please! Oh, god, no! I just got triggered by the word dyad. Stop it.
00:21:12
Speaker
Where's the water spray bottle? I can just shoot at you. Jesus. Because you're a Palpatine. Somehow.
00:21:25
Speaker
Smith returned. Yeah, full name Smith. Nickname Smith. Hacker name. Possessed. Bane. Age. Unown. Does it count? Yeah. Age. Unknown. Probably near a hundred plus years. Now let's stop and talk about- I don't remember not mentioning his dead name at all. Yeah. Yeah. Let's talk about
00:21:53
Speaker
Yeah, let's talk about some lore horse shit real fast. Okay. To finish my thought from a few moments ago before I abandoned that Holy and start off on a completely separate tangent. But in this, the fifth, no, sorry, the sixth iteration of this version of The Matrix, this is the first time that the one has been gently manipulated to love one singular person.
00:22:24
Speaker
Which is, you know, Neo loving Trinity specifically. What makes you so manipulated? Um, that it was the Oracle that set these things in motion through, uh, uh, uh, conversations with all of these characters. Yes, but you, you know, you'd already made the choice. I mean, that's true. I'd choose to follow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's fair. That's fair. Well.
00:22:54
Speaker
They were gently pushed into Now Kiss, idiots, by shipper on deck, the Oracle.
00:23:04
Speaker
But that would mean that because the one is an equation, then the zero would also have to behave differently in order to properly balance the equation. So while Neo is falling in love, Smith is falling in hate. Oh, and does he hate Neo? Boy, howdy. And that first Matrix movie is all about the slow burn to the anger that Smith holds.
00:23:34
Speaker
Well, isn't it also that... I'm trying to think here. Morpheus says in the first film that no one has ever gone up against an agent and lived. And does that include previous incarnations of the one? Uh... I would think... No.
00:23:59
Speaker
uh the one morpheus is also aware of a previous version of the one yes neo would be uh sorry morpheus would be aware of a previous version of the one because he's he's got the whole prophecy story that he tells neo um if you're going by the cycle of the matrix
00:24:15
Speaker
the one manifests returns to the source gives back his original code and Then awakens a couple of people from the matrix introduces them to the shelled out ready, you know newly remodeled and Ready to live in as is Zion Sorry, I'm doing house shopping lately and it's pissing yeah, it's really yeah, it's all fucking pissing me off
00:24:45
Speaker
So it's this, uh, this orgy cave. Is it fully furnished? Yes. And you can see the drains are here, here, and here. Um, and, uh, these big doors, uh, is that, is that, was that in the original or was that a remodel or? Yeah, no, those were always here.
00:25:07
Speaker
Yeah, that was part of the original design. Lovely molding. We're looking for a nice 2,000 bedroom submarine apartment. But then the one would still have to be able to perform some sort of miracles, right? Okay, so it's not necessarily... Yeah, so he eventually dies
00:25:31
Speaker
Somehow. And of course then there's the prophecy probably planted by the Oracle saying that someday he'll come back and you'll find him one day, young Morpheus. I don't know why I'm giving the Oracle a 1920s radio announcer voice, but that's where we are right now, I guess.
00:25:54
Speaker
if they have different incarnations of all the programs, why not? Well, I mean, if the Matrix, well, and getting back to the point that I started making, if that version of the Matrix lasts approximately a hundred years, then you would go through basically the entire 20th century, couple new generations come and go, pass along the information, turn it into a religion, Morpheus is born, he gets, well,
00:26:21
Speaker
Another person is born and told that they'll find the one. They find the one. The cycle repeats five times until we get to Neo where Neo has fallen in love with Trinity and Smith has fallen in hate with Neo and it's all very cute and they should all go on a date together.
00:26:41
Speaker
A hate date. A hate date. A hadate. So, OK, so Smith is not the first agent to be defeated, but he's the first agent to be liberated. He's the first agent to be defeated in the sixth iteration of The Matrix. Got right. I get the feeling that Smith is unaware that this is the sixth version of this.
00:27:09
Speaker
matrix yeah i get the idea that the agents are wiped at the beginning i get the vibe that he only learned that uh well no but doesn't he say that originally it was so perfect
00:27:21
Speaker
Well, they're talking about, he's talking about the matrix 1.0, which was heaven. And then there was the matrix 2.0, which was- Oh, wait, yes, and now I remember we had this conversation and there was matrix 3.1.2.3.4, yeah. Right, so we're technically on, resurrections is,
00:27:44
Speaker
Well, no, resurrections would be a fully different version, but as of revolutions were on. Well, as of this trilogy, we're on matrix 3.6. I want to say, yeah, there's probably some bug fixes in there. Yeah.
00:28:02
Speaker
But that does lead me to my point, if the agents are wiped at the beginning of each cycle and reset to zero, and you're essentially starting over at approximately 1900, would you get different...
00:28:23
Speaker
men in black style agents throughout the era? Like would they be wearing like little derby hats with pocket chains and vests in the early 1900s? We're looking for the ones, see? Yeah, exactly. Would they be gangsters in the 30s? These are important questions we need to ask. I guess I mean they're more like cops, they're not criminals, so.
00:28:48
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, they're more G-Men, you're right. Well, then would they dress like fucking Christian Bale in public enemies? These are important questions we need to ask. Come on, Wachowskis, come on. Yeah. And in the Monster Mash version of The Matrix, were they like, I don't know, zombies or something? Well, that's actually a great question because in The Matrix 1.0, they were angels.
Agent Smith's Evolution in the Matrix
00:29:14
Speaker
which is why I believe the one character is named Sarif. Yeah, isn't that what, isn't it implied that he's like how a holdover from that version? Yeah, exactly. And Smith even says that he was always able to get away. So I like the idea of the, oh, about Sarif. Yes. Yeah, and we know also from the Merovingian's wife's, you know, Persephone's little monster harem that they are able to
00:29:44
Speaker
you know, carry over programs from previous versions and escape the destruction that they otherwise would have gotten. Yeah, exactly. God almighty, there's just, there's just so much shit, so much good shit about Agent Smith. I love him so much. It is great. I mean, it's so you don't even necessarily watching the just the first movie.
00:30:15
Speaker
you don't even necessarily get it telegraphed that he's, I don't know if they necessarily plan for him to be important in a potential sequel, but, you know, he's almost underplayed in that movie compared to the sequels. Well, in the sequels, he is unplugged and he's able to let go as a character. And then, of course, all builds up to that magical, hamtastic Vincent Price laugh.
00:30:43
Speaker
Um, it's got something fucking spectacular. I guess it's more that he's like, he doesn't feel like a main antagonist until the second movie. He's more he's representative of the system in the first movie and then he really gets to become a character. But I really do think that's purely movie.
00:31:05
Speaker
I mean, I honestly think it's purely because of Hugo Weaving's performance. Probably. I mean, I don't know if they had even written ideas for the sequels at the time of the first movie, but I kind of doubt it. I dimly recall from from years back reading interviews with the Wachowskis saying that they only started talking sequel ideas once the movie was such a huge hit. In that case, I'm definitely guessing that
00:31:33
Speaker
If not for Hugo Weaving's performance, Smith wouldn't have even come back.
00:31:37
Speaker
Yeah, that's honestly the impression that I get. It's such a crazy electric performance and the character on its face is designed to be just literally a face in the crowd generic white dude. I do think they were unintentionally they paved that way for themselves because he has that speech to Morpheus where he sets himself apart from the other agents. And the way that he dies, you know, it could be construed as not permanent.
00:32:09
Speaker
Uh, yeah, yeah, I mean, it's also... Who said it? Nobody's ever really dead in science fiction? No one's ever really gone.
00:32:18
Speaker
Yeah. Not even Palpatine. Christ. I've got OK. I've got as your as we're fucking talking and I should text him back, a friend of the show who has not yet guessed it on the show, Stephen Foxworthy, is texting me his live watch of The Last Jedi. So I'm getting this for the first time.
00:32:44
Speaker
Well, I'm pretty sure he's watching it stoned for the first time. Hi, Steven. I hope you had a good time with that. Yeah. I am texting him now that I am shouting him out.
00:33:02
Speaker
It's really gonna bend your mind if you're listening to this stone as well. Yeah, yeah, okay. It is presently 9 12pm on November the 9th, 2023. That was a good commercial for Matrix 4. A beginning is a very delicate time. Anyway. It's 9 12pm.
00:33:22
Speaker
Between my obsession for Agent Smith, my obsession with Rose Tico and my absolute hatred of the rise of Skywalker to the point where I've muted that phrase on every social media platform I am on. My mind is just doing weird things right now. So that's fun.
00:33:45
Speaker
But what's doing where my brain I'm jumping between many, many boxes right now, as I like to say. But this kind of leads us back to that PDF that I think I mentioned in the first episode of the shooting script for the first Matrix movie that was posted on Reddit.
00:34:11
Speaker
by May Cat, I believe the smiling shadow who wrote a lovely little letter about Agent Smith and fanfiction.net. Speaking of, I have found Matrix fanfiction and I've only been reading the ones set in the wake of resurrections and I,
00:34:37
Speaker
I don't know why I keep finding excuses to cry, but... Well, can you sort by just the ones that have Neo and Smith like hate fucking? You can. You can very specifically search Neo slash Smith. Uh, that's actually a great question. Let's do a search on AO3, uh, Neo
00:34:59
Speaker
Slash I would say this just became a very different podcast, but it really hasn't it really hasn't all right I want you to without without looking it up without looking it up yourself unless you've already looked it up I'm going to give you a
00:35:18
Speaker
I'm going to give you a guess as to how many works there are in mio slash agent smith parentheses the matrix or give me a number for how many there are for the matrix in total and oh that's a great question we can narrow it down from there the matrix
00:35:39
Speaker
Can I just tag or click on a tag? The matrix parentheses movies. All right. Uh, I am looking at 1235 works in the matrix parentheses movies. I'm going to go with, uh, let's see.
00:35:59
Speaker
All right, let's disappointingly small. I'm going to go with 325 fan fictions of Neo and Agent Smith. I'm afraid it is 123 works. All right. Well, time to work on making about 150 more. Let's get to work sort and filter. I would like to sort by kudos and completed. Thank you. But.
00:36:27
Speaker
getting back to the shooting script. We'll have several episodes, I think, dedicated to fan fiction. That's a good idea. Yeah. Let's see. Especially in the context of resurrections, I think. Oh, very much so. Very much so. But this copy of the shooting script is fascinating because it's Hugo Weaving's copy of the shooting script.
Hugo Weaving's Inspiration and Performance
00:36:51
Speaker
And it's got like his little doodles of
00:36:55
Speaker
Stage directions and street maps as to trying to figure out to block out scenes and stuff all of Smith lines are highlighted Which is which should be which is really fun, and if it's not Hugo weaving script you should highlight them It's Great, I really love it and every time it says that Smith smiles in the script. There's just a big like circle no Agent Smith does not smile
00:37:24
Speaker
Which it's like, all right, damn Hugo, you, you, you, uh, you butt heads with the Wachowskis. He understands the character. I would argue. Yes. You know what? Hugo weaving can do what he likes. Um, but the real treasure trove is the last page or two of, uh, uh, the shooting script itself.
00:37:48
Speaker
And God in heaven, I really wish I bookmarked you the exact spot where he mentions it, but he very specifically calls out Orson Welles in the third man as a basis for his portrayal of Smith in the first movie. Okay, so tell me about the third man.
00:38:04
Speaker
Now, the third man, and this is again, shout out to Steven, another one of my fun, fun special interests. If I can hop, skip around back to the first window that I have open. The third man is a 1949 film directed by Carol Reed, written by Graham Greene and starring Joseph Cotton, Alida Valli, Trevor Howard, and most importantly, almost kind of starring Orson Welles.
00:38:35
Speaker
How do you mean almost? Well, it's an hour and 45 minutes long and Orson Welles first shows up an hour, five minutes in. The legend says that Orson Welles was two weeks late to filming. How you are two weeks late to filming is a little beyond me, but, you know. But when you're Orson Welles, you're allowed. Yeah, I mean,
00:39:03
Speaker
I love Orson Welles just so fucking much, but he's definitely not a good person, I think. He's a fascinating human being, and my God, I love him so dearly. But Orson Welles, again, if you look him up on Wikipedia, great fucking headshot from his younger days in 1937, I believe he was only 22 at the time.
00:39:32
Speaker
just truly, truly bug that stuff. In fact, I make it a yearly point to visit Grover's Mill, New Jersey, where the Martians crash landed in his iteration of War of the Worlds. But the third man is important to our conversation, partially because it's got Orson Welles in it, and therefore the basis for Hugo Weaving's performance, also because it's a film noir, and it's absolutely
00:39:58
Speaker
gorgeously shot and it's tense, it's tight, it's such a great fucking movie. It was the greatest British film of all time in 1909. It is scored by a Ziffer, which drives me a little insane because it sounds a hop, skip, and a jump away from the backing track to SpongeBob SquarePants and it truly drives me. It's just, no, this is Patrick.
00:40:27
Speaker
It's something truly incredible. But there's a couple of quotes that I would like to read and therefore replace in this episode with actually Orson Welles himself saying them. So you're not subjected to my bad, the brain impression of Orson Welles. Nah, but your Orson is very good. I appreciate that. It's very much based on comedy, however, and these lines. And it makes me laugh every time. So like mission accomplished.
00:40:57
Speaker
Well, great. I'll read them as Orson Welles and leave your laughing in the in the track. So it sounds like you're laughing. Exactly. So you're just mock Orson Welles. So quick scene setting for this quote.
00:41:13
Speaker
Harry Lime, the character Orson Welles is playing, has finally showed up in the movie. Turns out he's been running a big smuggling ring under the streets of bombed-out post-war Vienna. And he's basically cornered the lead character in a ferris wheel that is very, very tall above Vienna. Look down there. Would you really feel any pity if one of those dots stopped moving forever?
00:41:42
Speaker
If I offered you 20,000 pounds for every dot that stopped, would you really, old man, tell me to keep my money, or would you calculate how many dots you could afford to spend? Free of income tax, old man. Free of income tax. Uh, it's just beautiful, gorgeous, baby-faced performance. God, I love him so much. You know, now that I do, speaking of the brain, like, now that I do think about, like, Maurice LaMarche's, uh, choices for a brain, I do, I see the similarities in terms of,
00:42:10
Speaker
their diction and things like that. I mean, if you listen to interviews with Maurice Lamar, she'll just tell you it is his horse and Wells, so. Oh, no, I mean, between that and Smith. Oh, Smith, you're right. Yes. Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight? Same thing we do every night. Try to take over the matrix. I guess Pinky would also be a Smith.
00:42:40
Speaker
Are you pondering what I'm pondering? I think so, Brain, but how can you make the choice if you already made the choice? Oh, fuck off! Oh, you're so good at this! Oh, god. Somehow I'm not high enough and too high at the same time, so let's split the difference. What is north, Mr. Anderson?
00:43:08
Speaker
sound of bong. Something we really lost by not having Hugo weaving in resurrections was a lack of what I'm calling vacation Smith. Just you think he would have done a bong rip? I like to think so. I think if he was already a smoker.
00:43:35
Speaker
But, uh, to follow up Smith from the first movie, wouldn't cops cop exclamation point. Smith from the first, literally the first scene is him. And that's how we meet him with you. That's amazing. Um, Trinity. And then we've really formally meet him when he interrogates, uh, Neo, right? Yes. I keep forgetting. Is he even in that first scene?
00:43:58
Speaker
Oh no, he's all over the fucking movie, it's great. He's also- I can't remember if the first scene had Smith or just other agents. It does, yes. He's just not the agent that chases after Trinity. Right, right. He is, I believe, the one that drove the truck, though. He's just the one that goes, no, Lieutenant, your mailer already did. Absolutely gorgeous.
00:44:21
Speaker
But to follow up on the Wells thing, or to finish the thought, essentially, the final big speech that he gives in that sequence on the Ferris wheel. What the fella said, mentally for 30 years under the Borges, they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love. They had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce?
00:44:49
Speaker
The cuckoo clock. It's extremely... You can really see where weaving is pulling the... Yeah, and it's that analog that he is working. Yeah, exactly. So it's like a direct fucking parallel. What did that give? Oh, cool. From like actual classical noir to cyber noir.
00:45:10
Speaker
which I endlessly fucking adore. Unrelated, if I could dress like I was Harry Lime and the third man every fucking day, I absolutely fucking would. Holy shit.
00:45:23
Speaker
Um, I've got a hat. I've got a hat. I need a jacket that makes sense. Is he a good guy or? Uh, Harry Lime? No, he is very much a bad guy. The entire purpose of the movie is to find this man and kill him. Um, but my God Orson Welles is so fucking charming. Um,
00:45:46
Speaker
I very highly recommend it to anybody that's unfamiliar with The Third Man. I don't know what the crossover with a Matrix fan base with an Orson Welles fan base would be. I feel like we'd probably be surprised. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's a queer-coded couple in the movie, if that's anything.
00:46:08
Speaker
Really? I mean, there's so much fucking queer coding in the 40s. It's so dumb. It's so dumb. I'm a man. Casablanca has one of my favorite bisexual polycules of all time, but that's a that's a fully different conversation. Unless we forget the I'm a man. Well, nobody's perfect. Oh, God.
Agent Smith's Cultural Representation
00:46:44
Speaker
I'm still trying to get used to trying to resolve a lot of thoughts about how drag and trans people at large were treated up until fairly recently in media. But that's, again, a very different conversation, I think.
00:47:07
Speaker
I'm not that different. It's still the Matrix. It is still the Matrix. And again, I think Smith is probably more transcoded than most trans people who like the Matrix necessarily realize. He does wake up. He does get unplugged. He just like. No, I want to hear your explanation. He takes a very selfish view of it, but he's allowed.
00:47:34
Speaker
Yeah, be proud of yourself, trans people. God damn it. Fucking the same way as everybody. Yeah, I'm speaking to all trans people right now. Your existence is an act of rebellion. Fucking keep it up.
00:47:47
Speaker
And yeah, I think that's a big thing that Neo and Smith and Smith and the entire rest of the cast of humans have in common. He has more in common with Neo and the humans than he does with the machines, which is why it always surprised me in Revolutions that he ends up teaming up with the machines against Smith rather than with Smith against the machines. But I know, yeah, we covered that in that movie.
00:48:16
Speaker
Wait, who's teaming up with Smith against the machines? I'm saying Neo, I'm saying Smith and Neo have more in common than Smith does with the machines. Okay, yes, I see what you're saying, yeah. It's an enemy of my enemy of my enemy situation, so he could've, you know. I think his greed just got ahead of him. He learned a new trick and he decided to drive it to its logical end point. Yeah, and it also makes sense for like,
00:48:47
Speaker
Think about a trans person who has been like it's an item and shut down their entire life and repressed and then they're finally able to open up and Some people do like they just go all out. I mean, I wouldn't know anything about that Yeah, no it's entirely hypothetical I didn't I didn't
00:49:11
Speaker
over by many pairs of jeans that make my ass look really good, certainly not. Yeah, and what Smith does in the sequels is directly comparable to buying too many pairs of jeans. It is true. The boy technically owns what was the Earth population in 2003. Yeah, and many pairs of slacks. His dry cleaning bill is insane. Luckily, Smith is also the dry cleaner, so he gives him a big disco.
00:49:41
Speaker
Not free, but a big discount. It's important to keep the trail of commerce flowing. Hey, I've got a family of me to feed here.
00:49:55
Speaker
Goddammit! Can we just get an Agent Smith sitcom? Yeah, Smith-com, yeah. Yeah, yes. God fucking dammit, Smith-com, fuck! That is also something I wish we'd saw more of the Smith-taken-over world in revolutions. You're fucking, you are on fire tonight, my friend. Holy shit. Like, we got an Animatrix 2, which I think we totally could. Sort of a Fantasia 2000 of Animatrix.
00:50:23
Speaker
A segment taking place in that time would be phenomenal. That would be amazing. Let's remake some classic sitcoms. Let's do WandaVision, but it's all Hugo Weaving. Exactly.
00:50:38
Speaker
Smith in the middle. Yeah. Smith by Smith. Smith's Island. Family Smithers. No. Smith, Smith, Smithy Matters. Hmm. Full Smith. Smith Friends. The Big Smith Theory. Oh, there it is.
00:50:55
Speaker
Actually, yeah. Can we just see all of the all of the friends in this in the that that Central Park shoot, but it's all just you go weaving. Yeah, exactly. Do you think one who go weaving inexplicably has a wig of the Rachel? Yeah. Oh, shit. Where were we? We were talking about Rachel.
00:51:20
Speaker
That's very true. Smith and the city. Smith and the city. Yeah, there it is. We found it. We found it. Did you know that the Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world where none suffered where everyone would be happy? It was a disaster. No one would accept the program.
00:51:49
Speaker
Entire crops were lost. Some believe we lacked the programming language to describe your perfect world. But I believe that as a species, human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive serene from kept trying to wake up from. Which is why the Matrix was redesigned to this, the peak of your civilization.
00:52:14
Speaker
I say your civilization, because as soon as we started thinking for you, it really became our civilization. Which is, of course, what this is all about. Evolution. Morpheus. Evolution. Like the dinosaur. Look out that window. You've had your time. The future is our world, Morpheus. The future is our time. And as the great Vidna Palmasan said nearly a century ago,
00:52:43
Speaker
We will sell no wine before it's time.