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Love is Blind: Tim Is a Little B*tch
117 Plays2 months ago
Tim on season 7 of Love is Blind gave us textbook examples of toxic masculinity. I talk about what toxic masculinity is and why Tim needs a submissive partner.
I also talk about how Alex doesn't want to have anything to do with cooking, cleaning or communicating with her partner. She isn't ready for marriage and Tim isn't either.
Tim doesn't want to look like an angry black man, but he is one. Meanwhile he asked Alex why she had an attitude. Tim tried to paint Alex as a black woman with an attitude but he doesn't want to look like an angry black man? Tim is EXHAUSTING and beyond annoying and self-righteous.
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Transcript
Introduction and Cast Critique
00:00:00
Speaker
Okay, so as you can see, instead of me just covering the reunion of Love is Blind season seven, I am being more specific and I'm focusing on the flaming hot garbage that was the cast this season. And I'm not even going to get into people like Steven.
00:00:25
Speaker
who make my skin crawl and I did not watch the show but apparently he says that he like puts his dick in macaroni and cheese and has sex with macaroni and cheese like I am so all out on the gas this season then you got Nick who really likes to slide in girls DMS as if he's a 10 when he's a straight 2
00:00:54
Speaker
It was a lot. It was a lot for me to process this season, but I'm gonna talk about Tim in this episode.
Tim and Alex's Breakup
00:01:03
Speaker
Tim is someone who has definitely, he got everybody tweeting. Like, black Twitter was lit up, people on TikTok, people on social media, because it seemed as though Tim dumped Alex because she took a nap.
00:01:22
Speaker
And he did. However, he dumped Alex for several reasons. It wasn't just because of the nap.
Understanding Toxic Masculinity
00:01:31
Speaker
And so as I have in the title of this episode, I'm talking about toxic masculinity.
00:01:40
Speaker
And so before I just say a word and then give my two cents on Tim, I'm going to define what toxic masculinity is because that's important. We're living in an era where everybody calls everything gaslighting and everybody calls everyone else a narcissist. And the way how we have diluted what these words actually mean by mislabeling so many people.
00:02:07
Speaker
is a really embarrassing and upsetting and unfortunate for people who actually are narcissists and people who, when people actually do gaslight people, everybody's confused. Like people think that an argument is gaslighting and it's literally not that. However, so if I'm going to talk about toxic masculinity, I feel that I should
00:02:37
Speaker
define it a little bit. So I'm not going to go into the total definition. However, I will talk about some traits of toxic masculinity because when I say that Tim exhibits toxic masculinity, he does not check every single box.
00:02:56
Speaker
There are like four different common factors when it comes to toxic masculinity. And that is definitely not him.
Tim's Behavior and Relationship Dynamics
00:03:08
Speaker
Let me see actually one second. Okay, so I am going to read two different definitions. So
00:03:21
Speaker
Toxic masculinity is a term used in sociology to describe a set of attitudes and behaviors that are harmful to men, women, and society. It refers to a narrow, unhealthy version of masculinity that emphasizes negative traits like violence, dominance, and hostility to femininity.
00:03:43
Speaker
Another definition says toxic masculinity refers to a collection of offensive harmful beliefs, tendencies and behaviors rooted in traditional male roles, but taken to an extreme. So I felt I should give the definition before I continue on talking about Tim's specific toxic masculine traits, because
00:04:10
Speaker
He doesn't fit, like he doesn't check every box of the definition. They talk about how a lot of times one of the traits is a man feels that a woman should do all of the housework and Tim is the complete opposite.
00:04:24
Speaker
So I'm just gonna focus on what parts of the definition or the traits apply to Tim. So when it comes to Tim, it says that dominance is one of the traits. Men are expected to be aggressive and dominant. And it seems pretty evident that Tim believes that he should be the dominant party and that whoever he's with should be pretty submissive. It also says that
00:04:51
Speaker
Toxic masculinity means the when or a trait is when a man prioritizes his own needs. And another trait is prioritizing your own needs and putting your needs before your partner's needs. That's another trait of toxic masculinity when it, you know, applies to men, men in hetero relationships.
00:05:15
Speaker
So Tim, he is clearly all about traditional gender roles. He did not like that Alex didn't respond to his texts quickly and he felt that he should always come first. Whether she needs to take a nap for work or not was irrelevant. What he wants is the only thing that's important. So Tim wanted Alex to not take a nap
00:05:43
Speaker
on the day that she met his parents because she took a nap. That was a problem because him wanting her to avoid sleeping was a lot more important than her getting the rest that she needed for work to go ahead and bartend.
00:06:01
Speaker
But the reality is Tim never got over Alex trying to get him to stop yelling in Mexico. He never got over her, quote, calling him out his God given name.
00:06:17
Speaker
I will get to that later. He never Tim never forgave Alex for not washing the dishes after he cooked for her family. And he was furious that he that she was not exactly everything that he wanted in a spouse. And so instead of trying to work out their issues, he was done. He was out the door.
00:06:38
Speaker
So at the reunion, Tim says very early on, one of the first things he says is, I still don't want it to seem like there's any animosity towards her. I wish her the best. That is lie number one.
00:06:54
Speaker
The reunions are heavily edited. Apparently it was eight hours and obviously we get an hour and a half and some of that hour and a half is dedicated to former couples. So it's heavily edited. But that was lie number one as far as what made it to the final cut. Tim saying that he doesn't want there to seem like animosity towards her is a lie because he showed a lot of animosity towards Alex.
00:07:24
Speaker
Him wishing Alex the best, also him saying that does not put himself in a good light. Everybody is supposed to wish their partner the best. He doesn't look like a prince from wishing his ex-fiancee the best. So like he was just lying to make him trying to make himself sound good. Tim, he doesn't like to be ignored.
00:07:50
Speaker
When he wants to know what's going on. So when he. When Alex just wanted to take a shower and go to sleep. When she wanted to be left alone because she was stressed out about her family.
00:08:05
Speaker
She should have said something to her fiance. She should have been more specific and said, I'm very stressed out about what's happening with my family. I really don't want to talk right now. I am sorry. Alex was not a good communicator at all. And their communication styles clash because Tim requires communication and Alex doesn't want to give that communication if she's not in the mood.
00:08:32
Speaker
And so they are just a mismatch there. But from an outside perspective, it seems like such an easy solution. Okay. Somebody wants you to tell them what's going on. The other person doesn't want them to, the other person doesn't want to say what's going on. How about y'all just be adults and both say that.
00:08:49
Speaker
How come Tim can say it's very important for me to know how you're feeling and why can Alex say, you know what? I just really don't want to talk about it, but I will compromise with you and I will tell you what's going on. Both of them were in the wrong.
00:09:04
Speaker
Both of them are not good partners in that regard because I do believe that Tim should respect the distance that his fiance wanted and I also believe that Alex needs to understand that if she's engaged to someone she can't act like a single girl anymore and whoever she's with is going to want to know what is upsetting her.
00:09:26
Speaker
So Alex was not wifey material. She was not ready to be a wife. Like Alex has such a chill, nonchalant, checked out personality. And that's exactly what Tim does not want in a partner.
00:09:43
Speaker
just like Alex was supposed to wash the dishes after her fiance spent all day cooking for her family. Like that's a very basic domestic task. And Tim is the one who washed the dishes. And so this is exactly why I can't say that Tim exhibits toxic masculinity when it comes to domestic roles because he was the one who was doing the cooking and cleaning, literally. So then Tim said,
00:10:13
Speaker
at the reunion I've never been in an argument like that with someone I love and I put in my notes lie number two to make himself look good.
Tim's Temper and Contradictions
00:10:23
Speaker
I with Tim's temperament there's no way that Tim has not been in a vicious argument with somebody that he was dating unless he's never dated.
00:10:34
Speaker
because his temper is very volatile. So there's just literally no way that he has not had an argument with another woman before Alex. That's a lie. Next, lie number three to make himself look good. Tim said, I reject you. He said this to Alex. Tim said, I reject you saying that I was yelling. My voice carries. That is lie number three.
00:11:04
Speaker
because he was being loud when he said that and guess what no none of us do none of us accuse people of yelling when they're not yelling so we already know he was yelling because Alex was saying like production was outside and like wanting to get involved if I'm not mistaken like Tim was yelling period so him claiming that his voice carries like that's like so funny who says my voice carries no you were yelling
00:11:35
Speaker
And then Tim goes on to say, I was more offended at being called out of my name. Why would you say that to any grown man out here trying to love you? Y'all ask men to take you seriously and why would you belittle me like that?
00:11:53
Speaker
I'm literally being braided by you. I can't speak my truth without being called a bitch. Why are you trying to comfort me when all I'm doing is trying to show you love? Why the attitude? Why? What did I do? What did I do to you? Okay, this is lie number four, probably five and six as well. Okay, let's dissect this.
00:12:16
Speaker
Alex called Tim a little bitch when they, she said, you're acting like a little bitch when they had an argument in Mexico. I, I, I'm okay with name calling. I really am, especially a common ass insult, like a bitch. And I know it has different, carries a different weight when a female is saying that to a man. But if you're acting like a little bitch, I'm going to call you a little bitch.
00:12:46
Speaker
And what's worse is me calling you a bitch worse than your behavior of you acting like a bitch. I am on Alex's side for her calling her fiance, telling her fiance, he's acting like a little bitch because it's obvious by what she told us that he did throw a tantrum because she didn't want to engage with him at that time. She just kind of wanted to deal with her stress.
00:13:10
Speaker
by herself again that's a problem she's engaged that's not was engaged that's not how you're supposed to behave but i don't understand how or saying that you're acting like a little bitch is just the worst thing that she could tell him there's a lot worse things that a women that a woman could say to a man other than you're acting like not you are a little bitch you're being a little bitch you're acting like one
00:13:38
Speaker
Like there's a clear distinction there, you know? He says, why are you trying to come for me when all I'm doing is trying to show you love? Saying to someone you're acting like a little bitch is not coming for them. And showing love is like his version of showing love was smothering to her in that moment. Like, yeah, you're acting like a bitch. Like he's just trying to spin this.
00:14:08
Speaker
And then for Tim to sit up there and say that he is a six foot tall 225 black man and he didn't want to seem like the angry black man, but yet he tells her why the attitude.
00:14:21
Speaker
He says why the attitude as if black women are not always stereotyped as having an attitude when in all honesty, women of every ethnicity have an attitude, but that stereotype is mostly applied to black women. You can't use the word attitude with a black woman and then in the same breath say you don't want to be stereotyped, but yet he put that stereotype on Alex.
00:14:52
Speaker
And he goes, what did I do? What did I do to you? You were up her ass when she wanted space and told you to back off. That's what you did to her. And you also dumped her. That's the other thing that you did to her. You dumped her after you got engaged to her. And a day after you told her father you would marry her. That's what you did to her. Alex didn't bring any type of
00:15:17
Speaker
rage, anger to Tim at all. All she did was explain herself and that is what someone who exhibits toxic masculinity does not want. Tim did not want Alex to explain herself. So her explaining herself at the reunion, that was a problem for him and he called it quote unquote attitude and saying women want men to take them seriously, but then why would you say that to grown men?
00:15:47
Speaker
This, Tim is too delicate. I just believe that adults should behave as adults. An adult should be able to withstand their partner saying, why are you acting like a little bitch? Should she, did she, should she have rephrased that to say, why are you acting so upset? Why are you acting so intense? Why are you being so demanding?
00:16:16
Speaker
It's semantics to me. You're acting like an asshole. You're acting like a bitch. That's what I'm gonna tell you. Move on. Like, who cares? I hate when people are hypersensitive about things that are truly insignificant.
00:16:34
Speaker
So what is Tim gonna do if his wife calls him, tells him he's acting like a little bitch? Is it a divorce? This is just not how you go about conflict resolution as an adult. Too many people are way too quick to pull the rug out and be done with people. And it's like, can we talk? Can we have a conversation?
00:16:56
Speaker
What the fuck? So then, Alex also, she has her issues. Like I said, the bitch is not wifey material. Her apartment was in shambles. She had all these garbage bags filled and it was hard to walk through her apartment. Like, she's not wifey material. This is not a domestic ass bitch.
Alex's Role and Relationship Challenges
00:17:20
Speaker
This woman knew a Netflix camera crew was coming to her house and she had her house looking like multiple tornadoes tore through it. So Alex didn't show that she loves him the way that he wants to be loved because she didn't quickly text him back and it's like,
00:17:42
Speaker
texting somebody back quickly is not a love language but they have different love languages like to Tim it's important like look if I cook for your family wash the damn dishes and for Alex she doesn't give a shit like Alex seems very anti anti housework
00:18:00
Speaker
anti-cleaning up anti-messaging somebody like Alex really I feel that Alex has been single and she's stuck in single mode and she did not understand it's a huge leap going from being single to engage like you gotta act like a goddamn fiance you gotta like have this be a partnership if your partner is cooking for your family the least you could do is wash the dishes and they shouldn't have to even say that
00:18:30
Speaker
They shouldn't have to do the damn dishes. I wonder if Alex looks back on this show and sees her faults and sees her flaws or if she really is trying to pretend that the only thing she did wrong was take a nap.
00:18:48
Speaker
and not wash dishes because what she did wrong is she behaved like a single person who felt that she did not need to communicate with her partner, that she wanted space, that she did not need to wash dishes. So Alex didn't text Tim back until 10 a.m. which was a violation to Tim because she had a flat tire and she didn't let him know that she got home safe and all that.
00:19:18
Speaker
And he said to Alex, you didn't even let me know you made it home. You're supposed to be my fiance.
00:19:24
Speaker
I can understand where he's coming from with this, but also like I don't I don't like checking in shit. Like, I don't know. I get it. And like, I feel like somebody could argue both sides and and again, like Alex was not adapting to being a fiance. And I just feel like this is kind of a dumb thing to argue about. I think it's dumb to argue about somebody not texting you back immediately.
00:19:51
Speaker
when you're about to wife them and live with them, like you're obviously going to know more about their whereabouts and how they're doing when you share a roof. So relax like
00:20:01
Speaker
It's weird. I mean, I just think Tim also, he wants things a very certain way and he's very quick to nitpick. Tim thinks he's a high value man. Tim really thinks that he's cream of the crop and you better just rise to the fucking occasion and be exactly what he wants as he wants it. And Alex is not that girl. Alex is like, look, I'ma do me, I'ma sleep, I'ma nap, I'ma text you when I feel like it, I ain't gonna wash dishes, I ain't gonna clean my apartment.
00:20:30
Speaker
Total mismatch. And what's weird is I feel like I just, again, I didn't watch the season, but what I did watch, I feel like I didn't see the love between them. I really, really don't. They seem like two people who chat. I didn't see sparks. I didn't see any of that.
Incompatibility and Relationship Stagnation
00:20:50
Speaker
Even though the show was filmed a year prior, it's so blatantly obvious that Tim is still livid that Alex said, why are you acting like, or you're acting like a little bitch? He's still pissed. He hasn't gotten over that at all. Like the man desperately needs therapy.
00:21:11
Speaker
And then Tim said to her, you wonder why I don't talk to you, but you sit here calling me a bitch to my face. I feel very attacked. She called you a bitch a year ago. She calls you a bitch a year ago. And who said that Alex wants to talk to you either? Alex, I'm sure is out here thriving. Did you see her glow up? Did you see how pretty she looks with her new hair? Like Alex has moved the fuck on, Tim. You still there.
00:21:41
Speaker
you know upset about being called or being told like you're acting like a little bitch like get over it you are acting like a little bitch like you're proving that she was correct and saying that he feels very attacked like Tim is someone who doesn't want criticism he can't handle criticism I don't know who I did this man is not dateable Alex has her flaws
00:22:06
Speaker
And I think she needs to find another man who is a slob like her and they could just vibe together and be great. Tim, on the other hand, if things are not exactly as he wanted, it's a problem. He's gonna harass you about it and or he's gonna dump you immediately about it. He's undateable. And he's never wrong.
00:22:29
Speaker
I don't feel like Tim showed any accountability for shit. All he did was get upset and say his voice doesn't, his voice carries or whatever. Like that's an undateable person. Someone who is never wrong. Someone who
00:22:49
Speaker
puts their needs before you're someone who does not want to compromise at any point, someone who does not know how to get over an argument. Guess what? If Alex calling Tim saying, Tim, you're acting like a little bitch was that much of a deal breaker and he wouldn't move on, you need to dump her then.
00:23:09
Speaker
There's a lot of people do this and it has nothing to do with gender. Somebody does something that upsets them. They claim to get over it. They're not over it. And they make it a problem. And so they're going to hold it against you and be resentful. And then that's not fair. That's not right. Like Tim never allowed Alex to move past that argument. He is a child.
00:23:37
Speaker
So I really wonder, who can date this man? It's really his way or the highway. And I think Alex is fine. I think Alex, she is not ready to be a wife or a mother, but I think that she could grow and she could adapt to having a partner who's actually understanding, which was the opposite of Tim. So again, the men on this season were garbage.
Season Critique and Future Hopes
00:24:05
Speaker
And like, I like love is blind has really got to turn it around with the next few seasons because I don't like this. Like, and if you're going to bring me flaming piles of trash to represent the men who are single today, I also need that paired with love stories. And we didn't have enough love stories in the season.
00:24:31
Speaker
So I just want Love is Blind to be what it should be, which is a show where multiple, multiple couples end up happily married and stay married. But some of these seasons, I just feel like there are way too many people who would do a better job at casting. I don't know what the fuck they got going on at Netflix, but it's pathetic.
00:24:55
Speaker
And I really hope that the show improves. I want three solid seasons. Seasons eight, nine, and ten. I want all those to be solid. Don't be bringing me bottom of the barrel ass men like this. Please. All right, y'all. Thanks. I still got more from this season to get into. We are going to get into it because at this point, yeah, I'm a little tardy.
00:25:25
Speaker
But at this point, I know that you guys had ample time to watch these episodes, so let's get into the bullshit. Okay? Talk to you soon. Bye.