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Mastering Emotional Intelligence: Leadership Essentials for the Modern Age
74 Plays1 year ago
Welcome back to The Better Contractor Podcast. In this episode, Brent Oberlink and Travis May share insightful tips into the pivotal role of emotional intelligence in leadership. They discuss how emotional intelligence (EI) involves recognizing, understanding, and managing our own emotions while empathizing with others. Brent and Travis emphasize the importance of leaders developing self-awareness and self-regulation to inspire confidence and trust within their teams.
The conversation also addresses the misconception that emotional intelligence means being emotionless or overly agreeable. Instead, true EI involves genuine empathy and the ability to navigate tough conversations without losing composure. Brent and Travis explore how effective leaders use emotional intelligence to foster meaningful connections and drive positive outcomes. Tune in for practical tips and strategies to enhance your leadership skills through the power of emotional intelligence.
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Transcript
Introduction and Welcome
00:00:11
Speaker
Well, guys, welcome back to another edition of The Better Contractor. Today, I'm joined by my trusty sidekick, the quote master Travis. Good good afternoon, Evee, whatever this is. How are you? Good. Good to see you. There is nobody else in the podcast today but me and the quote master. so But I see your collection of books is gone. Yeah, so that the the quotes are going to be rather limited. I don't have the the knowledge base backing me up here. so Yeah, nothing to point to, nothing to reference. I've only done it a couple of times. so but but But it is fun that when a guest references a book and I know I've got it up there and grab it off. For those of you not watching this on YouTube ever, typically Travis has a huge book bookshelf in the background with lots of books that he likes to reference throughout podcasts. So it's kind of funny. Typically our guests usually reference one that you have. So
00:01:07
Speaker
It's going to turn into something for us. So like we already mentioned it about every podcast, somebody's recommending a book or a series of books. And so we'll end up doing something with it, with the books of the podcast or something. And then, I don't know, there's a few ideas, but some of the guests seem pretty enthusiastic about being able to share that.
Emotional Intelligence vs. EQ
00:01:25
Speaker
and and get some So for this, one we'll talk about emotional intelligence and leadership. So not to confuse it with EQ. This is EI. so Travis, you and I talked a little bit before, and there was one quote as we were talking that came to mind. It's actually from a mentor of mine, Ed Millett, but it made me think of a saying that he says, and that is that emotions are there to comment, not to command. um And when I think of emotional intelligence, one of the things I think of is your ability to not allow emotions to dictate your behavior,
00:02:05
Speaker
especially in a leadership position. You know, so a lot of times we're going to run into situations where it is stressful. Things are hard and the typical human response is going to be an emotional response at first. But I feel like when you're emotionally intelligent, you are going to take the time to let that feeling subside a little bit before you respond so that you can respond with facts. You can respond with a plan and you can respond with something that's actually going to help you and your team get through that situation. tras I see your thinking faces on. So EQ, IQ got a lot of attention years ago. There was a book that was written in EQ and emotional quotient. And so emotional intelligence is the intelligent thought and and understanding your emotions and the impact and other people's emotions and how that all interplay emotional quotient there. The EQ piece is the measurement of it kind of like it's a test of IQ and EQ. And so it got a lot of attention as far as people paying attention to and a lot of leadership
00:03:06
Speaker
but have I wouldn't say podcast, but but a lot of leadership content was produced about emotions and controlling your emotions and understanding them.
Managing Stress with EI
00:03:15
Speaker
And so app it really starts, and I think all of them, and it's important to understand that it starts with you. I mean, you can see how emotions play a factor in all of our interactions and in society, and there's a lot of attention put on ah people's emotions right now, but
00:03:37
Speaker
It starts with you understanding what drives you, what triggers you, what, what produces certain emotions in you. And then you start to peel back and yeah it goes deeper. And only if you understand your emotions, what's triggered, how you feel and how that impacts you, then you can start to to analyze, well, how does that change how I behave, how I interact? um the environment around me, and then you can start laying it on the people around you and the environments around you of then how does those emotions, how do they impact the people in this situation scenario that I'm in for for better, if for worse, for influencing in a positive or negative direction, looking at the different outcomes.
Quotes on Self-Leadership
00:04:26
Speaker
ah And then, I guess, lastly, you can start to analyze other people's emotions and how they're triggered and what emotions they have and how that impacts for better or worse things around them. But it it all starts with you. And ah here' here's my quote. you You tried to throw out a quote, and I don't know if that's allowed, but now especially before I... i yeah But there there is one quote that has stuck with me for years, and it's actually in one of the journals that I put in The Boys. It was Anthony Robbins said you can't always control what happens to you But you can control what it means to you and how you react and that's been so true in so many facets and so like this is just individual leadership leadership of yourself and Then if you're in a leadership position This gets amplified on a much greater scale and you can see it and I think most people probably has a story or an example of
00:05:25
Speaker
a boss or a coworker or somebody that that they've been around that it either really understood or really didn't understand emotional intelligence and how that impacted everything around them. But when you're in a leadership position, you impact a greater yeah area, a greater body of people, which also then spills out into their work and their daily lives and has a much greater impact. And so it becomes exponentially more important for you to have under control. Yeah, I don't think a lot of leaders think about the power they have have in that as well. Like if it's a chaotic situation or whatever, people are looking to you for some resolve, for a solution, for an answer. But you are saying the tone for your team, for your group as well in that moment. And if you're a basket case, clearly, you know, emotionally a wreck.
00:06:17
Speaker
you are conveying that onto your team. And I've seen that take place in teams before where the leader isn't just isn't calm about things and they're not given a clear direction.
Empathy in Leadership
00:06:29
Speaker
And that team becomes more chaotic as a result. And I've seen teams work with people that are the opposite, where they're working for someone who who the person is completely in control of those emotions. And there's a solution focus more as a result. So that team is a lot more apt to go figure stuff out to actually get to the root of the cause or the issue, whatever, um, and deal with it. But I think people sometimes get it confused though, that I have to be emotionless and that is definitely not the case. Um, there is a difference between being emotionless and being in control, you know, like that, that quote emotions comment.
00:07:10
Speaker
they don't command. I think once you're able to do that, I think it opens up the door for leadership to a whole different level personally. Um, but you gotta to have empathy too, because at the end of the day, you're dealing with human beings. You know, they're not robots. You know, there's a lot of, most people will not just do something or whatever, just because you simply say it. Um, you have to be someone who can dive in, be empathetic, make people feel like they know you and that you care and want to actually get to know them. Some of the best leaders I can think of are people who are able to do that, where they're able to dive in and get to know each individual on their team at some level to where, you know, when they're around, and a lot of times you'll hear people talk about those people that way. Man, when I'm with so-and-so, it feels like they they get me.
00:07:59
Speaker
Well, that's because they've developed that level of empathy and connection. And I think as a leader, there's not enough emphasis placed on that personally. Seek first to understand. so I think ah I've heard that in other contexts of like working through problems, especially when you're working through teams. But that's the empathy part, right? I mean, um seeking first to understand, understand where they're coming from, um why they're why they think the way they do, why they feel the way they do, why they're behaving the way they do, as opposed to making assumptions. And as a leader, I mean, even even outside of leadership, you can see your actions, reactions and and your emotions, even in subtle things, how people feed off of it. And people will do it to to deliberately and maybe in deliberately that they're not conscious anymore, but they know that it can influence
00:08:58
Speaker
other people, if they have a sneer, or they raise their voice. yeah I know I had bosses in the past that got real angry. And, and it was so most people will do more to avoid pain than the gay pleasure and the aggressive most most of us are avoiding a fight. And I've seen people use that as a tactic to try and get their way. And it works. And it works temporarily. And that, especially the person I'm thinking about is whenever there they were frustrated or they wanted to get their way and they wanted to influence it, not be questioned or challenged, they would raise their voice and get angry. And most of the time, people would see to them, like, oh, okay, yeah, you're you're you're right. and Because most people want to avoid confrontation. But in the long run, people did not want to be around that person.
00:09:54
Speaker
yeah They lost all leadership capital in in the long run. They might have won that little battle. They might have won that little child syndrome. yeah It's throwing a tantrum. But but that it's conditioned behavior that they've seen that it's effective and it works. yeah But what they don't realize is it's undermining them long term and having greater impact. So i mean that can be with other emotions, just get upset. They don't even necessarily have to be angry, but they ah show sadness or and if it's just they might not even know what they're doing. They just know the impact that it has. And yeah, and I think that's part of the emotional intelligences. And that would be you understanding. If you see somebody that's like that, maybe that maybe they're, they're doing things they don't fully understand, they just know the impact it's having. So they're acting out emotionally.
00:10:53
Speaker
and expecting a certain result. And you know for for the ability for you to influence that situation or understand what's going on, you really have to understand yourself. For you to be able to analyze and see and have the emotional intelligence and be able to see what's really happening in that they're manipulating the situation, they're not actually angry, or how to actually handle that and see maybe they're not actually angry, but maybe they're insecure, or maybe there's something else going on there that this emotion is masking to try and manipulate or influence the situation and they just don't have the tools to actually communicate through it. You would only necessarily be able to see that is if you you understand it had good emotional intelligence and you understood that by you and yeah how emotions impact individual behavior and performance and those around you. So it's so
Self-Awareness in Leaders
00:11:47
Speaker
important. I mean and we use it every day all that we're humans. in
00:11:52
Speaker
yeah It's used all around us and it'll be a superpower for those who get better at it and understand it. But it all starts with you. Yeah, I think you know, looking back when I was in college, you know, I think we've talked about this before, but I took a bunch of psychology classes for fun, just because I i enjoyed them or anything. um But looking back, those were some of the best classes I took for business though, which seems weird to say that. But You have to, you're working with people the entire time. And if you are good at managing, so of managing finance, accounting, marketing, all that kind of stuff, that's awesome. But if you do not have the ability to effectively communicate and lead, you're a team of one at that point.
00:12:41
Speaker
You know, so those, I kind of wish our educational system would actually put some psychology classes into their business program. Obviously certain ones are more beneficial than others, but the ability to challenge yourself and some of your learned behavior. So when you were describing earlier, earth like that person that kind of, that's probably a learned behavior from childhood, honestly. And it was just effective. and so It worked as a kid and it worked as he got older. So you look at stuff like that and it's basically making the business owner a little bit more, or the leader a little bit more aware that, you know what, that's actually me we're describing right now. And I need to challenge and push myself to be a little bit better in that regard. And and and if you have kids, take note.
00:13:27
Speaker
Yes. We're going to try to do a monster as if that's old. Yeah, everybody's going to quit. They're going to lead an organization with 90% employee turnover. Yeah. which is what happens. Yeah. Like you said, it's effective. It's effective in the beginning because people don't want conflict. So they give into it, but the, at the end of the day, nobody wants to maintain or be in that environment for very long at all. And as soon as new opportunity presents itself, they, they, they leave. yeah I mean, the roads trusted the roads, respect, uh, uh, any leadership capital that you did have with them where, where you could influence them in a positive way.
00:14:09
Speaker
I mean, is is being taken away, if not completely destroyed. So yeah, yeah you'll win some upfront, but and and this was true too in the military. So a lot of people have misconceptions about about the military and that it's screaming and follow orders and things. It's not true at all. I mean, in some cases it might be. I mean, and boot camp is very different than and being actually out in what we call the fleet marine being out in the actual work environment. that I mean, it's a very controlled and the environment in the boot camp site. And so there's more hollering and things in there. But if you try and take that out into the the fleet marine, like it wouldn't work just much. It doesn't work it and in the same fashion in that it would work temporarily and and sometimes in the like the military. And this happens in the civilian world with rank. So just because I outrank you, I can dominate the conversation or tell you to do
00:15:06
Speaker
It works to a degree in the military. It's just the same as it works in the civilian world. You have somebody who's VP, senior VP, executive manager, supervisor. And again, your you might get your crews, you might get your teams to initially listen to you. But if you're emotionally unstable, you're all you you' flying up a handle whether it's angry or you just get so stressed out, because all all of those emotions have physical components. either raises dopamine levels or stress levels and it impacts you physically and it will impair your ability to actually physically perform in a lot of cases. So there is a physical impact to it. So if you're allowing yourself to get unhinged, yeah it's contagious too, fear and and confidence. And so you're you're impacting for better or worse everything around you.
00:16:02
Speaker
by controlling your emotions or not controlling them. And yeah, the the unstable, emotional, whether they just break down and they get so stressed out and immobile, or they get angry. ah Yeah, your teams are the people around you notice it, pick up on it. And you won't have those teams for very long. mean Yeah. Yeah. At the end of the day, you know, your leadership has to be effective. you know, so in your communication has to be, and you have to connect with people. And I think that's something a lot of leaders do not do or put it put enough effort into is connecting with people at a deeper level. You know, it's it's very surfacey, it's very, hey, we got this project to do or whatever. And I think if you want a loyal team, a team that sticks with you, that follows you into the fire, if you want to say it that way, is they have to respect you and there has to be some level of human connection.
Genuine Communication
00:17:01
Speaker
And I think your best leaders will always do that. And i I can think of a few that come to mind right now. Those are people that, you know, I've either watched or observed or whatever, but they're people, I would be more than glad to help. I've had people, but a boss wants that does not fit that mold. I wouldn't follow him into anything. I'd kick him in from the back. You know what I mean? Like push him into the fire, but that's because there was no connection. Well, there was a connection. It's just a bad one. But that is what this is all about, is building those connections.
00:17:35
Speaker
Seek first to understand yourself. Yeah, exactly. Then, then seek to understand how you impact the world around you and then seek to understand how other people behave and emotions and as holistically how emotions impact everything that we do. yeah Emotional intelligence. I like it. So ah you talked about empathy earlier. It doesn't mean weakness. It doesn't mean agreeing with everything. It doesn't mean that you're just nice. You're trying to understand them. You're communicating with them. And and it's not a tool. You actually have to care about your people. You actually have to care about the other person.
00:18:24
Speaker
and ask questions and really want to understand who they are, where they're coming from. Once you can ask the the right questions, but that means that you can truly have empathy. And there might be a tough conversation that comes out of it. So it doesn't mean that you're just nice and you're just going to be agree with them and you're going to you're going to soak with them or jump on their side. But in order for you to effectively understand what's going on, and change it for the positive if it's a negative situation or understand if it's positive. You have to understand where they're coming from, what drove them, and ask the right questions, but you have to actually care. um they mean We know most of the time when people are not being authentic or genuine, and you're not going to get the same result if it's just a checklist thing that you... So I guess that would be one of the first... And if we're talking about
00:19:22
Speaker
If we're talking about the full life cycle, care about yourself. I mean, if it starts with yourself, care about yourself, care about how you are impacting your own emotional state and let that drive why you want to understand and have better emotional intelligence and let that be the the source and then carry that through all the interactions. Truly care about to be present. Oh, yeah. What'd you say just a minute ago, when you first went off and though you listed a couple of things, but one was kind of about the connection part. I was jotting notes down right when you said it. Communicate, connect with people genuine genuinely on a human level.
00:20:09
Speaker
yeah
00:20:11
Speaker
Because um I've had that before, where somebody went to a management class, and they're out getting ready to practice what they learned and like, so tell me about and like, this is so like, ah rehearsed or acted and it loses all effectiveness. Oh, you've got to be totally genuine. People can see through the BS really quick. And you think you're not but people can. People can feel it people can see it. Oh,
00:20:44
Speaker
i'm i'm sure There's two people that come to mind now that that are that typical sales person. you know It's the smile the entire time you're talking. like They check a lot of different boxes when you think of like social skills, but the entire time you're with them, you're like, this is as fake and disingenuous as possibly this could ever be. like and did you ever there were There was some leadership and management, and it might have been sales books, whatever. It was in the last 10 years, 15 years, but but mirroring matching. Oh, yeah. Like surely, I mean, I get it. Yeah. I mean, if you mirror their behavior, ah they we as a species will mirror the other people and you can then mirror emotions too with it. But when when you when you see somebody who's just read that book and they're out there trying to practice it, and it's so it's so artificial,
00:21:40
Speaker
um
00:21:43
Speaker
There was some of you said earlier, earlier, I think we weren't recording, but it was ah not the empathy is not necessarily just being nice, you know, that it's, you're still able to have those tough conversations. And I think that's something a lot of people go ahead, Travis. Yeah. Um, so, so not because you're empathetic and because you're truly understanding where they're coming from doesn't necessarily mean that you're nice in that. Yeah. you can have, but it allows you, you might have a tough conversation on the other end of it, like, but ah in order for you to be effective to where they still like you. That's a fine line, but it is doable, you know, because if you are, study yes, yeah, they they know you still care. But it's that good. I think that's probably one of the best ways to show if you have emotional intelligence to be able to navigate the waters during conflict.
00:22:39
Speaker
without it getting out of hand or everybody just hitting everybody. you know And I think some of the best leaders I've seen have navigated those waters well, whereas at the end of that conversation, the person is actually better. There's actually more respect there because that person actually appreciates that the tough conversation was had. And like you said, empathy doesn't necessarily equal you know, a shyness or or or not being the inability to to have that tough conversation. To me, it actually allows you to have that conversation effectively. With with positive change versus negative change on the other end, while still maintaining that relationship, assuming you had one. ah Yeah. that they But I think it goes back to what we were just, you actually care about that person
00:23:32
Speaker
And they know that you actually care about.
Empathy vs. Authority
00:23:35
Speaker
And that's where the empathy, the true empathy comes from of you understanding and seeking to really understand. um Yeah. Cause if you crawl down there with them, assuming it's a magnet to go south like yeah ah whatever you're working on, uh, yeah, misery loves company and you'll can see the descend into chaos. Yeah, so that's not what we mean mean by empathy. It's not weakness. It's actually strength If done appropriately it's just but like you said you have to have at the very forefront of your mind There has to be a concern and a passion and a caring, you know for that other person And I guess what a lot of people don't do in those situations off They want to go in there be mean be tough
00:24:23
Speaker
Um, you know, well, what you talked earlier about rank, you know, I think that's, I've seen people do that with positions like, well, you don't do this because I'm this position and you're this position. That's not leadership. That's just a ah rank and file. And honestly, you know, I'm someone who doesn't care about positions anyway. You know, just, I just, this is not something that's important to me. You know, the titles and stuff, I know some people do, but the reason is not important to me because it doesn't mean anything about your leadership skill. you know what i mean like And so that the narcissist and the people who are self-absorbed, a lot of times they get attracted to the military because they think that that's what it will afford them. if If they're able to be an officer, they automatically have minions that will have to report to them and do what they would. And it's very similar on the civilian side is ah ah government positions, positions of authority.
00:25:23
Speaker
law enforcement where as soon as you get that position, yeah so the the narcissist and the the people who are self-absorbed and they they want power and they want people, they're attracted to those types of positions. And sometimes it's misguided. People will see that and try to emulate it. thinking's So they'll see it from the outside maybe and have an outsider's perspective of respect for it, not realizing the cancerous aspect of that in that it might have initially get results but it's undercutting and undermining any long-term growth or success but I think as goes back to you have to truly care and that's it's not a tool it's not a tactic so ah emotional intelligence understanding you so that you can better affect to you and everything around you and then that going into empathy is
00:26:19
Speaker
It starts with why.
Manipulation vs. Influence
00:26:20
Speaker
You have to have a solid why, and you have to care about the people around you truly. And if you're focused on you, that's, I think, where it comes out. and you're just You're going down the bullet point list of things I'm supposed to do, and it's inauthentic, or you're trying to manipulate the situation. So there's an important distinction between manipulation and influence. Both of them are you trying to get somebody to do something that you want them to do, where I think the the delineation happens is the motivation. So influence is you're wanting them to do something for the betterment of themselves or other people or the broader things around them.
00:27:06
Speaker
or manipulation, you're trying to influence them for your own personal benefit. So they're both core at the the same, but they they depart based on your motivation. And I think that comes back to the emotional intelligence. And for you to be effective, you truly have to care yeah yeah and not be self-controlled. How much do you think self-improvement plays into even emotional intelligence? so like A person who naturally wants to push themselves to ask, you know, how can I be better at this than I was yesterday? How can I improve how I deal with these people? Basically being very aware that what you're doing may not be the best way to do it. You know, but because you mentioned like some of the people that get kind of caught up in the positions and the rank and file.
00:27:48
Speaker
They do sometimes seem to be the same people who, well, I've achieved this level. I've achieved this position. And that was actually the ultimate goal. And it seems like the ability to improve dies there. You remember we talked about the Peter principle. oh ah It been on one of the podcasts, but it's the Peter principle is that people are promoted to the level of their incompetence. And this might tie into that. where people so if somebody's a great engineer, or somebody does a job really good, they, they get promoted. And like, well, john's a really great programmer code or runs the machine really well, promote them, promote them, promote them and they get to a position where
00:28:43
Speaker
they've never been there before. And the the skill sets have to expand. And they're basically incompetent to it. So they get promoted. So they're really good at running small teams in the project and they get promoted and a little bit larger teams still in the project and maybe a little more responsibility, get promoted again to maybe an executive. Now they got the divisions and their higher budgets. They've never done that before. And now they're outside of the element where they can, they're actually working on the things or whatever it was. And now they've just been promoted to the level of competence. And this is where like senior leaders and business owners and senior executives and stuff just get baffled like, well, this person was a rockstar all the way and then just all of a sudden they're not.
00:29:29
Speaker
um So they they literally got promoted into a level where they, they had no knowledge, no background, and what What determines whether they die or excel is if they adapt and change and grow. yeah and i mean There's probably other nuances there too, but just the black and white of it is they will either grow and accept the burden of responsibility and grow into that position and take charge or they won't.
The Peter Principle
00:30:04
Speaker
So they'll either be there or they won't. But there there might be other nuances too.
00:30:11
Speaker
um skill set and personality and attributes. And that I know I'd seen this in the technology realm a bunch in that the coder, the person developing code or developing a a widget, the technology, super, super talented as an individual get like, well, they're so good at doing that technology component, let's give them a team. They might still actually be really good at like a small team. Like they're so good at developing that technology, the code, the programs, whatever, let's promote them into a higher position. And that naturally, maybe that person was not a really good people person. maybe They're not a good manager. They're awesome. So long as they're really close to the technology of the project, but they kept getting promoted. Now they got promoted into they're running large teams and they actually have to have emotional intelligence. They actually have to have good people skills. They have to have empathy. They have to,
00:31:10
Speaker
they're They're no longer working on as an individual contributor or directly associated with the projects. They're actually managing people and teams and orchestrating it. But the view is, well, they were really good at their job, so they must be good at running a team. It's a totally different skill set almost. And maybe their personality was just not ah there. Maybe their attributes didn't align with that. And that's why it's super important. for anybody who's got leaders in developing leadership within their ranks too to truly understand and and put people in the right positions. And sometimes the pressure test one I get the pressure test will always reveal but but the pressure test once it's revealed it doesn't mean that they're no longer
00:32:02
Speaker
a talent for your organization, but maybe you've asked them to do something that maybe they can't grow beyond or they're not or other things. um But then it's important for you not to, if you didn't want to lose that talent, redesign some things, and still keep them for the things that they're applicable for. So that coder that was super talented at at coding and running IT, he's probably still very talented at developing technology. And a lot of times when they get promoted into those manager positions, you lose them because now they're becoming competent. That doesn't mean that they were they're not super useful at the things that you they were doing before. They're just not a good people in the future. And it's important for you to understand. Yeah, i I would agree with that. I see that a lot even in our line of work with some of our customers, the people we deal with where they have been promoted because they were good at this position or that position. They've been there for 15 years.
00:32:58
Speaker
And quite honestly, some of them are terrible when it comes to actual leadership, though, in managing people and and, you know, running a division or whatever. Great at other things, but not, they have no business, and that's not all of them, obviously, but there's a lot of them. And I'm shocked at how many there are where I run into people, you know, customers, vendors, whatever, right? Just thinking, how did you get here? And it makes me feel like, man, if I were to run and work at your company, how far could I climb? Because if this is this position, You're not that great at it, but as we kind of wrap this up, one of the things too, I think is social skills and the ability to communicate and persuade.
Communication in Leadership
00:33:37
Speaker
You know, so I think of actually two politicians of different sides of the aisle. I think of Reagan and I think of Obama. One I would agree with on some things more than the other, the one I don't agree with much on.
00:33:50
Speaker
Anyway, both of them, though, are great orators, great at selling their positions and both created a rally and team behind them that other politicians have not really been able to do. um But to me, when I think of those two, what comes to mind is their ability to effectively communicate, inspire, motivate, create a feeling inside of people that this person cares. We can argue whether they're not as genuine or not. They are politicians. But if you can do some of those things with a genuineness and actually want to help, but that shows the power ah of those movements. though
00:34:36
Speaker
I mean, yeah I've seen multiple, whether it's commentators or people that were close to these politics. So Same for same for Bill Clinton and Donald Trump. People talk about when they get into a room with them, they're super charismatic. And they they make you feel like you're the only person in that room and that you're important. And they have tremendous amount of influence in smaller cities. They're almost two different people. But like Bill Clinton was really good in front of the cameras. He was. But but just great communicators.
00:35:13
Speaker
So Donald Trump is a great communicator too, and just a totally different way. He gets attention. He definitely has getting attention down to an art. Yeah. But, you know, I think it's that ability though, and it's a little bit of a charisma too. You know, those people have some charisma. And like you said, when when they're in a room, they're memorable. I think that's important. But to kind of stay on topic with the emotional intelligence and kind of wrap this up. I think if you're a leader and you probably can tell whether or not some of these points hit home a little bit more than others, this is an area though that I think we should always be pushing to constantly improve on ourselves, evaluating ourselves where we're at, where we're deficient, where we could do better.
Leadership vs. Management
00:36:01
Speaker
But I think being aware that leadership and managing are not the same thing. Managing is keeping systems and processes and making things move.
00:36:09
Speaker
Leadership is inspiring people to follow you, whether they want to or not. Managing and being a boss is making people do it. Leadership means they're there because they like you and they want to follow you. And I think that's where we should all aspire to be is at that level to where people want to work for us. because they just freaking like us and they want to follow us and they know we're a person of our word. They know that we will get the stuff done. They know if Travis or Brent says, hey, we're doing X, Y and Z, probably going to do X, Y and Z. They also want to know that that person actually has their best interest at heart. That can be good and bad. This is a person who will actually
00:36:54
Speaker
have those tough conversations with me, won't just say, yeah, everything's fine. You're doing a good job. Packed you on the back. Here's your next raise at the next quarterly evaluation. They will actually tell you, hey, because I care about you, here is where you need to improve to get to your goals.
00:37:13
Speaker
and and a year So you just said something there. that was but When you're talking about a company and and we're going to bring up culture again, it seems to make its way into is But it's so true in that you'll work for a company that cares about you. And that's something that I think a lot of, I know my generation, we watched our parents, ah they were maybe the last generation, because my dad was still very much loyal to the company. And you you go to a company, work there for 20, 30 years and retire and they'll take care of you, you take care of them. But that was the first real generation that we saw
00:37:53
Speaker
in modern times, layoffs, like, like mass layoffs. of And this was through the 90s. And that that bond was broken. And, and essentially, the the advice may still was the same, go go find a good company and work for them forever. And for 20, 30 years, and they'll take care of you and you retire.
Company Loyalty and Culture
00:38:19
Speaker
But I think the reality And I know all of us growing up and seeing our parents go through that, even though the advice is still being propagated, reality did not seem to match with that. And it just continued to get worse where it looks like it's, it's and especially with the larger companies, a lot of the younger generations, but it started with mine, have knowing that that was broken and that the the loyalty seems to be going one way.
00:38:50
Speaker
It's expected of the employee to the company, but there's no care. There's no connection for the company like it was maybe for our grandparents. And so I think for companies that could maybe reestablish that and show that this is kind of a family. We do care about you as a human. We do care about you as an individual. We want you to do well and create that what we'll call family environment. i they We've hungered for it. We needed it. we've We've developed systems outside of the traditional because it's not there anymore. I think it could be a a game changer for companies to embody that in that it's human connection. It's what we want. It's what we need as a species as humans. So a company to embody that and show that they really care and take that to heart and let that permeate throughout their their culture and what they do in all aspects.
00:39:49
Speaker
Yeah, you would definitely off the bat be. Well, I think it'd be one of the biggest competitive advantages is to harness that. Because if you think about it, and we've talked about it before, you spend more hours in your life probably at work than you do with some important family members because of how much we're there. So why in the world should that not be a place where that is fostering? So guys, basically in a nutshell, if you are serious about you know growing your company, creating a groove of people, a team that is next level and that's going to squash your competition, you've got to be the leader that connects with them, inspires them, motivates them.
Conclusion and Motivation
00:40:28
Speaker
And you are not going to do that by managing. You will only do that by leading. So as we wrap this one up, Travis, you got any closing thoughts, buddy?
00:40:37
Speaker
Oh, love the topic, super important. And I think you were in earlier, you're saying, is it static? or do we So there's something with nature doesn't allow us to stand still. Everything's changing around us. We're changing. Everything around us is changing. And and there's another quote. I think I said it in another. But ancient, Asian prophecy, you know, but ah No, no person steps into the same river twice. For he is not the same man and it's not the same river. And I mean, that's so applicable in in this context in that if you read a book and it's super impactful, three years from now we picked the same book is going to hit differently. It's going to register that you're gonna have different life experiences. You're going to be more mature, you're going to have
00:41:35
Speaker
different ways of thinking about the end. And it could be almost a completely different book. And so it's the same with emotional intelligence and self improvement. Constantly looking to change, grow, improve. This is one that's so important because it it does impact everything around us yeah and all our personal and professional lives. That's the key, personal and professional both. Yeah. That's a good point, Travis. So guys, if this is if you're serious, this is something you have to constantly be honing, constantly be improving upon, and you got to get good at it. If you're not, you always suffer with leadership, in my opinion. You'll just be a manager, you'll never be a leader. So if you like this podcast, share it. If you didn't, feel free to turn it off. Until next time. See you guys.