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Big Heart, Blurry Boundaries: A Dive into Type 2
37 Plays9 months ago
In this heartfelt and hilarious episode of STILL YOU, Katelynn dives deep into the world of Enneagram Type Two: The Helper — aka the friend who always remembers your dog’s birthday but forgets to eat lunch. 😅
We’ll explore the lovable light side of the Two — their big-hearted generosity, emotional intuition, and why they basically invented the group hug. Then, we’re flipping the script to look at the shadow side (brace yourself, Chloe makes an appearance), where martyrdom, manipulation, and meltdown moments lurk beneath that sunny exterior. 👀
You’ll hear:
- Why Twos are the emotional Olympians of the Enneagram 🥇
- How their superpower is also their biggest trap
- What it looks like when stress turns a Helper into a steamroller 🚂
- Tips, journal prompts, and affirmations to keep you lovingly in your lane
Whether you’re a recovering people-pleaser, married to one, or just can’t say no to a potluck, this episode is a must-listen. Grab your tea, your tissues, and maybe a boundary or two — and let’s get into it. 💛
Email the show: stillyoupod@gmail.com
Tiktok: @stillyoupod
YouTube: @stillyoupod
Resources for today's episode: The Wisdom of the Enneagram & Personality Types by Don Richard Riso
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to the Enneagram
00:00:06
KateLynn Bundy
Hey, hey, hey. Welcome back to Still you the podcast where we explore the Enneagram so deeply, you might just start diagnosing your bartender.
00:00:18
KateLynn Bundy
I know I have.
Exploring Enneagram Type Twos
00:00:19
KateLynn Bundy
True story. I'm your host, Caitlin, equal parts therapy nerd, a yeah hype woman, and someone who's helping you learn to say no without spiraling into guilt.
00:00:31
KateLynn Bundy
Does that sound familiar to any of you? Because today's episode is for all the lovers, the listeners, the lunch makers. That's right. We're talking about our type twos. They are the human version of a warm weighted blanket and they're comforting and sometimes smothering if you're not careful, just like a
Motivations and Fears of Type Twos
00:00:54
KateLynn Bundy
weighted blanket.
00:00:54
KateLynn Bundy
Yeah. So if you've ever made a lasagna for your neighbor, you barely know, or spent three hours giving someone just a little advice, or casually adopted someone else's emotions as your own, you just might be a type too.
00:01:09
KateLynn Bundy
So buckle up, buttercups. Let's dive in. All right. so who are our type twos? What exactly powers these sweet and spicy souls that we love so much? I do have a soft spot disclaimer for type twos. I'll explain later on in the episode, but I'm not trying to be biased. I'm only human, but we all have soft spots. So give me a break.
00:01:33
KateLynn Bundy
Anyway. The type twos are affectionately known as the helpers of the Enneagram, the caring interpersonal type who is generous, demonstrative, people pleasing, yeah, and possessive.
00:01:47
KateLynn Bundy
Type twos are warm people, warm people folks focused, gosh, stumbling over my words. um And they're driven by this deep, deep, deep desire to be loved and needed. They have that sixth sense for who needs that hug, that casserole, or you might be overdue for a
Challenges Faced by Type Twos
00:02:06
KateLynn Bundy
girl's night. They know about it because they are generous and, again, emotionally intuitive and also, like I touched on, um a little bit teeny-weeny, tiny bit possessive, but put a pin on that.
00:02:18
KateLynn Bundy
Their core motivations, if you were to put it this into a sentence, would be in if I help enough people, surely I'll be loved in return. there Because their basic desire is to feel loved.
00:02:34
KateLynn Bundy
And there's another disclaimer right here because everyone has that. Don't get confused and take it as like black and white because everyone has that desire to be loved and needed, especially, you know, by our parents, for example.
00:02:46
KateLynn Bundy
But um for a type two, it's their core motivation. It's It's why they do what they do in their every single day life. It's what is their driving force. So does that make sense?
00:02:57
KateLynn Bundy
We need to remember those kinds of things for every single time. But yeah, their core motivation is to be needed and wanted and loved. And that sounds really noble and like, honestly, is so cute and innocent.
00:03:08
KateLynn Bundy
It's like that puppy you're staring at at the dog pound or that Hallmark movie that you love, but also hate. But let's be real. It's also the emotional foundation of that one friend who gets quietly furious when no one notices that they were up all night making those party favors for your birthday. Like, oh man, is that you?
00:03:30
KateLynn Bundy
Hope not. Well, it's okay. We've all been there. We've all wanted that little love and ah appreciation or that pat on the back. That's a very human thing, okay? But twos have what I like to call that, quote, emotional LASIK. They can see right into your needs even before you've admitted them to yourself.
00:03:50
KateLynn Bundy
They spot them like snipers, like on that rooftop. Man, I'm miles and miles away. They they just know
Strengths and Connection Abilities
00:03:56
KateLynn Bundy
it. Okay. They've brewed that tea, they've pulled up that Brene Brown quote and din the lights.
00:04:03
KateLynn Bundy
But here's a twist. Their own needs are often buried under layers and layers of blankets, a pile of obligations, and at least one passive aggressive text.
00:04:16
KateLynn Bundy
whoop Sorry if that hurt a little bit. But because you guessed it, their basic fear is being unloved and unwanted. We'll get into that.
00:04:28
KateLynn Bundy
But at their best, they are radiant, beams of warmth, compassionate, intuitive, and and like impossibly generous. They are either the most genuinely helpful to other people or when they're um less healthy, they're more highly invested in seeing themselves as helpful.
00:04:46
KateLynn Bundy
Yeah, we're getting somewhere. Yeah. And so they believe that their helpful nature or going out of their way for others and denying themselves and their own needs is the best and most meaningful way to live, which, eh.
00:05:03
KateLynn Bundy
hey Give me a break. They are the emotional glue in our communities or our family. And they're the friend who actually remembers your dog's birthday before you do. And of course, but we do need more selflessness and thoughtfulness in this world, which is why we love our twos. And we all have a soft spot for them. Let's be honest.
00:05:22
KateLynn Bundy
And when they're healthy and in balance, they truly are loving and helpful and genuinely considerate. And people are drawn to them like bees to honey.
00:05:32
KateLynn Bundy
i have this friend who, um I don't think she's ever been typed before, but it's so freaking obvious that she's a type two because she still sends birthday cards in the mail and like thank you cards. We went to her 40th birthday the other week and we all went. did i don't even think i brought a present.
00:05:48
KateLynn Bundy
We just went to this bar that they rented out and had some cake, drinks, fun, whatever. Next week, I get a birthday card in the mail. Like, who does that still? Like, it just makes you feel like a piece of shit because you're like, God, I need to be doing this. Like, it's just so thoughtful and I need need to be more thoughtful. Like, God.
00:06:08
KateLynn Bundy
And like that, there's that guilt, which we'll get into because that is a type two trait in more in their unhealth. But anyway, So our type twos, they enliven those around them with the way that they appreciate them. Like with those birthday cards that I get in the mail, like, God, my heart just exploded.
00:06:30
KateLynn Bundy
then it gives you them that soft, fuzzy feeling in in my soul everything. So type twos just love and appreciate in ways that people didn't even know could exist. And they truly also truly represent, you know, the good parent that everyone imagined, imagines, or like maybe even wishes that they had had.
00:06:50
KateLynn Bundy
So type twos, like they really truly show us so the way to be more open and vulnerable and deeply, richly human. ah which is just, how can you not love that? But yeah.
00:07:03
KateLynn Bundy
Yeah, I said butt. I'm sorry. There's always a butt.
Emotional Struggles and Growth
00:07:07
KateLynn Bundy
Like all types, they have a shadow. And baby, we'll get there. Don't worry. But quick synopsis of what's to come so you can emotionally prepare yourself.
00:07:16
KateLynn Bundy
Types you struggle with pride, denial, and an unconscious habit of becoming way, like way too involved in other people's business. But lovingly, of course. Yeah.
00:07:28
KateLynn Bundy
Doesn't remind you of anybody, but they are the manipulators to get their own emotional needs met because type twos see them as helpful, see themselves as helpful and they see themselves as selfless exploring.
00:07:41
KateLynn Bundy
And so exploring their darker sides is really contradictory to their ego. So it can be incredibly difficult for them to open up those doors and like get help and help themselves.
00:07:53
KateLynn Bundy
All of that. Yeah, we'll be getting into that. So with the type twos, we have entered the heart triad. So if you don't know what I'm talking about when I say triads, go back and listen, go back like two episodes.
00:08:05
KateLynn Bundy
It's not that hard. I break it down talking about what triads are um just so you can follow along and know what I'm talking about. But types twos, threes, and fours are in our heart triad.
00:08:18
KateLynn Bundy
And all of these types have this immense fear of worthlessness in their own specific unique ways. They all wrestle with that shame and that fear. But the type twos mask their insecurities with relentless helpfulness. And they often believe that if they stop giving, the love will stop flowing.
00:08:39
KateLynn Bundy
Cue the panic.
00:08:42
KateLynn Bundy
And that panic has them disintegrating into their unhealthier levels, right? So the ego of the type two says, if you put others first, if you be selfless, um,
00:08:55
KateLynn Bundy
be helpful and generous, whatever possible, because as we know, they believe that is the way in which they receive and are worthy of love. But when a two breaks through that illusion and connects with their authentic self, real beautiful magic happens.
00:09:12
KateLynn Bundy
So let's talk about what that looks like, because talking about the sugar-coated, not even sugar-coated, just talking about the good stuff is always nice. It's like, what do you want first, the good news or the bad news? Yeah.
00:09:24
KateLynn Bundy
Honestly, I don't know. I think I'd rather take the good news first or gosh, I don't know. But here we are. I've chosen for you. So we're going to go into the light side of our type twos. We're going to bask in the beautiful glow of the type two, like a kitty cat in that afternoon sun, because when they are healthy, o honey, do they shine? Yes.
00:09:49
KateLynn Bundy
So type threes, sorry, no, type two. I'm about to say the word three. Type twos have three main superpowers. You ready for this?
00:10:00
KateLynn Bundy
Because it's great.
Healthy Expression and Boundaries
00:10:01
KateLynn Bundy
But it also because they're not my superpowers, I'm like, how do they do this? Like this is crazy. This is natural for them. um So one, love languages galore. Twos are absolutely fluent in all All of the love languages. Acts of service, check.
00:10:19
KateLynn Bundy
Words of affirmation, check. They'll write you out a sonnet. Physical touch, you're getting a hug whether you like it or not. If emotional fluency was a sport, like they'd literally have gold.
00:10:31
KateLynn Bundy
Their second superpower is like loyalty. Man, you're ride or die friends. They are the people who show up with snacks, tissues, a plan. You lost your job. They've already sent your resume to three contacts that they know of, ordered your favorite takeout. And they're they're just those like built-in emotional paramedics.
00:10:50
KateLynn Bundy
Yeah. And the last one, they're your verbal hype machines. Twos are those walking voice memos of you got this. Need a pep talk before a big meeting?
00:11:01
KateLynn Bundy
They will verbally carry you across the finish line like the emotional Olympians that they are. yes Amen. Snaps. Snaps for our tools. So in our Enneagram chart, in growth, in the top levels of the healthy two, their arrow goes to a type four. So if you remember that little diagram that looks like a bad thing, um the type every type has the two arrows, right, that which points to a different number.
00:11:31
KateLynn Bundy
Type 2 goes to type 4 and type 8, which we'll, that's in a minute. But first let's talk about the type 4 when they are in healthy and in growth and they're really truly finding their essence and their authentic self.
00:11:47
KateLynn Bundy
um So when a type two really starts doing their work, like therapy, journaling, or a little bit of crying at Trader Joe's to the cash register, you know those guys, they come from a place of overflow and not to obligation. Okay. They begin to ask themselves some but revolutionary questions like, do I want to do this? Okay. Or am I abandoning myself right now?
00:12:13
KateLynn Bundy
Or they ask themselves, is this my problem? Okay. So they begin to show up for themselves first without guilt at all.
00:12:24
KateLynn Bundy
And when they, they remain healthy and by learning to recognize and accept all of their feelings without censoring them like a healthy type four. So twos in growth, they don't stop caring. They'll still show up with the lasagna if you're sick or so something, but they're They just stop bleeding themselves dry.
00:12:45
KateLynn Bundy
They set boundaries. They protect their energy and they stop over-functioning and start feeling, which is kind of ironic being the big feelers. the It's more about other people that they feel for versus their own.
00:12:59
KateLynn Bundy
So they have, like I just said, they a heightened sensitivity to people's emotions and like a type four they have these like super intent this antenna super sensitive antenna picking up all of the changes the ups and downs of the emotions of the room and the people in it all of that um but when they learn to do this with their own emotions this is where they emerge into the healthier levels of themselves and find their true essence
00:13:30
KateLynn Bundy
And a healthy two gives without agenda. They serve from overflow, not obligation, and it's really, really stunning to see that. And like I said earlier, this is where I have a soft spot for the type two because as a type eight myself, twos represent my healthy levels.
00:13:48
KateLynn Bundy
Stay tuned for the type eight episode, which, yeah. um So they represent my healthy levels connecting, which is based basically represents my inner child whose innocence was once robbed in one way or another. So let's be honest. I would die for a type two. I would. I'm sorry.
00:14:07
KateLynn Bundy
But moving on, the healthy twos know how to maintain good boundaries they so they can continue to be generous and loving and the helpful friend or spouse that they naturally are.
00:14:21
KateLynn Bundy
They are in tune with their energy levels and they have a clear sense of their own motivations as well. Are they wanting to say yes to pet sitting for a week because of the brownie points and appreciation they'll get in return? or do they say yes without expectations because their confidence and self-esteem is no longer tied to what they get in return from others?
00:14:42
KateLynn Bundy
That's a good question. They are able to distinguish their own needs from the needs of others and maintain that healthy balance of the two.
00:14:53
KateLynn Bundy
They also gain access to their own creativity. Think like dancing, poetry, painting, really cute kittens, or whatever just gives voice to their emotions. And they stop trying to be everything for everything and start becoming...
00:15:09
KateLynn Bundy
Everything for themselves. Yes, I said that. And the healthy they stay in tune with their emotions and are not as easily swayed by the positive or the negative responses from others. So, for example, if um if you if you're type two, if you walk into...
00:15:28
KateLynn Bundy
into work and you greet your co-worker in the morning and they reciprocated but really didn't give eye contact or their tone sounded a little off. um The type two, they're not going spiral into emotional despair, wondering if that co-worker is mad at them and now they just, they should buy them lunch just in case.
00:15:48
KateLynn Bundy
They have enough self-esteem and self-nurturance not to take the reactions of others personally or as a referendum on their own value. um you But when the type two, actually, you know what, let me go and talk a little bit more about like the integration to type four and what that looks like.
00:16:12
KateLynn Bundy
Because like I mentioned, healthy twos are attuned to their own emotions, feelings, and then the needs of others around them. But that doesn't that does not mean that they need to act on them.
00:16:25
KateLynn Bundy
So let's say the type two finds themselves frustrated with or angry with their boyfriend and instead of exploding and impulsively breaking up with them, They know how to self-acknowledge these feelings. theyre They self-nurture, right? And express what's going on inside of them to their partner in a healthy way, of course. like But whenever they attempt to do anything or something for themselves, guess who enters the picture, right?
00:16:54
KateLynn Bundy
We've touched on her a little bit, but that's her super ego. Also known around here, i've called um we're calling her Chloe. If you didn't listen to last week's episode, we gave a name to the type ones, super ego or their inner critic, Wanda.
00:17:11
KateLynn Bundy
I think this is kind of fun. So for the type two, their inner critic, their inner, their ego, for the type two is gonna be Chloe because I was watching the Secret Life of Pets as I was writing out this episode and I thought like her cat character was a perfect example of the voice inside of the type two's head telling them how selfish they are for signing up for the art class or scheduling their workouts because that leaves them less time with the kids or my husband will have to start dinner or whatever. Chloe's, Chloe's me.
00:17:43
KateLynn Bundy
She's just mental. And twos think it's their guiding star to achieve their basic desires, which, what is it? It's to be loved. But Chloe is really and severely misguiding our gorgeous twos because every light
Shadow Traits and Stress Responses
00:18:01
KateLynn Bundy
casts a shadow. Yes, we've gotten there, which is our awful segue into the shadows of our type twos. So we're taking this scenic detour into the shadow. Let's take a deep breath.
00:18:14
KateLynn Bundy
And grab a blanket, take your foot off the gas pedal because you're probably going over the speed limit. But it's time to meet your and to meet your shadow. And I, of course, need to give our disclaimer first. This is the time to give yourself grace, to sit back, listen with curiosity and not judgment or denial, okay?
00:18:35
KateLynn Bundy
The more we deny, the less we grow. Ooh, amen, Caitlin. um But because the reason you are here is to be a better human, to create a better world for ourselves. But we can't do that without walking through some mud first, girlfriend.
00:18:50
KateLynn Bundy
Your mud may not be as deep now or has ever been, okay? Um,
00:19:00
KateLynn Bundy
Sorry, I drew a blank. um But as I was saying, your mud may not be as deep now or has ever been, but you will be able to relate to it.
00:19:11
KateLynn Bundy
Okay. When I read the ultra, super, awful, mega unhealthy things of my type, they are behaviors that I have never, ever had or ever felt. But Had I had different parents or a belief system or a different childhood, I could easily see myself ah in my life being completely different in how those traits would be showing up differently in my life.
00:19:35
KateLynn Bundy
Does that make sense? So if you're hearing, you're like, that's not me. Oh my God. Like it it's okay. Like,
00:19:45
KateLynn Bundy
So let's sit back and don't take these traits automatically as you are a piece of shit. You're not, okay? So here's the thing. Okay, twos don't just help out out of pure altruism.
00:19:59
KateLynn Bundy
um Sometimes the helpfulness is a little like some emotionally tax deductible. When a two forgets to check in with themselves, they begin to spiral like we talked about. Their gifts become tools ah for manipulation and their giving becomes a currency.
00:20:16
KateLynn Bundy
So what is the opposite of a superpower? I really don't know a good name for it. Like kryptonite, um anti-powers, and mean whatever. Let me know what a good word is for that.
00:20:28
KateLynn Bundy
But there's three anti-powers that the type 2 has. There are three big shadow parts. Okay. First one is hidden strings attached. So twos might give endlessly and then be shocked when others don't offer that same devotion in return because that dinner wasn't just a dinner.
00:20:47
KateLynn Bundy
it was a love test. And guess what? You failed. And the second one is martyrdom com ah Olympics. Sorry. Martyrdom Olympics. They'll say yes to everything, burn themselves out, and then like act surprised when no one is checking in on them because plot twist, they never told anyone they were exhausted.
00:21:08
KateLynn Bundy
They melt down because no one's helping, which just blows my mind because I'm such a vocal person. like I don't care. And to me, like, if I were to see this happening real life, I'd be like, just say something. Just say that you need hope. And they're like, I would rather die.
00:21:24
KateLynn Bundy
But to the third one for our beautiful type twos is the identity meltdown. Twos can forget who they are outside of being helpful. And if they're not needed, like who even the fuck are they?
00:21:37
KateLynn Bundy
o yeah. So here's the other twist. There's a lot of twists here. Under stress, twos don't just get sad. They get intense. That arrow of disintegration sends them towards the type eight, which we'll figure out later is called the challenger. And that's me.
00:21:58
KateLynn Bundy
And why i have this podcast, right? I like to challenge people. But when but when is stress hits, not a stress, but when stress hits, twos don't just break down. They transform like Cinderella in like reverse.
00:22:15
KateLynn Bundy
Under pressure, they move toward that unhealthy eight space, becoming controller what controlling, aggressive, and suddenly yelling about that casserole dish, you never return. Mm-hmm.
00:22:29
KateLynn Bundy
But let's calm down for a second and because I got to defend for myself. I got to fend for myself. I know I'm a type eight, but that doesn't mean um all type twos need to go all avoiding all the type eights because of some perceived bad influence.
00:22:44
KateLynn Bundy
Some of my greatest friendships are with type twos. And as two healthy individuals that we are, that friendship is truly deeply fulfilling. Unhealthy twos may experience a type eight as someone who is stressful to be aroundhound to be around, which makes sense.
00:23:00
KateLynn Bundy
But knowing these parts of you is extremely important in navigating the ebbs and flows of your life. Like so going through a divorce or a death of a parent, um because of your self-growth journey, you're becoming so much more aware of your behavior. Right.
00:23:19
KateLynn Bundy
So when you begin to dip into stress during those times like that um or unhealthy levels of the eight, it's kind of like your red flag to yourself to check in, do some self-care, tell Chloe to shut the F up because she needs the bottles.
00:23:35
KateLynn Bundy
And that assertiveness of the type two really can have um and be reclaimed for growth. which is never to be avoided, right? So when they're aware, they use that fiery eight energy to finally advocate for themselves. So it's not that you have to always avoid behaviors that represent something awful. It can, but there's also a light side. Even if you're under stressful times in your life, you can still do it in a healthy, positive way, okay? Because we can't avoid the outside forces.
00:24:08
KateLynn Bundy
But that was like my eighth disclaimer. But the move to unhealth the unhealthy levels of the eight, our super sweet soft helper is stomping around, reclaiming that casserole dish and they demanding their emotional debts be paid.
00:24:26
KateLynn Bundy
Sorry if you hear that siren. don't know if you can, I got a new mic. um This is the loudest street on the planet. um Yeah, so the type two is going around demanding their emotional debts be paid and Chloe becomes that like, that spicy lawyer yelling in the courtroom, exhibit A!
00:24:48
KateLynn Bundy
in their mind, think the unhealthy two will quickly confront that coworker who didn't give him eye contact when saying good morning, ah because it's polite and you're extremely rude.
00:25:01
KateLynn Bundy
Like Chloe comes out full force. Goddamn. They express their frustrations with not getting enough appreciation. or acknowledgement from those that they have helped. So in these stressful states, the two goes into survival mode because their basic desire is not being reinforced, right? That would make anybody panic.
00:25:23
KateLynn Bundy
So they become more argumentative, ah forceful, vocal about what they need and what ah they need others to think of them. For example, they may say something like,
00:25:35
KateLynn Bundy
I really hope you're aware of how important I am in your life. Yeah. What I imagine with that kind of line is, it's ah this is awful. but right What I imagine with that line is that toxic mom like yelling this to her own child.
00:25:51
KateLynn Bundy
Awful. Awful. But i think... If you have a mom like that, I am really sorry. But this might help you heal. I really hope so. um But this state of severe stress has the two veering into really good manipulation tactics.
00:26:10
KateLynn Bundy
It's the guilt trips, people pleasing, and um they surround themselves with emotionally needy people so they can stay central. It's not love. It's control, dress, and affection.
00:26:23
KateLynn Bundy
Very smart of them. That's one way. And they see, so they start to see um everyone around them as needy, hungry, orphan children who are just starved of love and attention. And they begin to press that onto others, whether or not they asked for it.
00:26:39
KateLynn Bundy
right? It's overly helpful. They resort to, um they might resort to like lots of gossip. They're the big gossipers, I think, of the Enneagram. The unhealthy ones, okay? Relax.
00:26:51
KateLynn Bundy
ah But it's their way of letting people know how many friends they have and how close they are to them. And the conversations ah that they have between friends is about how much the type two can pry out of that person. And to know those more intimate deal details of like their sex life or what they're talking about in therapy.
00:27:10
KateLynn Bundy
It's all one-sided. And so the two, the type two is not revealing their struggles or problems or whatnot, because again, they don't have any, everything's great. I'm here to help everyone. I don't little robots.
00:27:23
KateLynn Bundy
So yeah, Chloe was like, nope, you're here to help others and fix their problems. That's why we're on this planet, of course. So as we go and dive deeper into the really, really, really, who really unhealthy levels of the type two.
00:27:41
KateLynn Bundy
And with any type, it takes chronic abuse or a major, major catastrophic event for for them to get into these very deep levels of unhealth. therere The type two in this state is notoriously hard to help because they can just easily justify their actions in the name of helping others. dear Or just doing something good. Right? And they can't express how they actually feel. They want to manipulate others to give them the kind of loving response that they desperately want.
00:28:13
KateLynn Bundy
But the irony is when those those responses just aren't good enough, even if they can get it out of someone. So, yeah. Manipulation is the name of the game here for extremely unhealthy twos. They're becoming like severely codependent.
00:28:29
KateLynn Bundy
They're too neurotic to recognize like to recognize love, like let alone like give or receive it. They are the maestros of guilt. But while doing all of this, they're still presenting themselves as, you know, helpers who can heal the pain that they are the ones who actually caused.
00:28:48
KateLynn Bundy
And these behaviors, they we have to remember, they come from pain, not malice. And when a two feels invisible or unloved, they panic, right? And they try to fix it the only way they know how, which, can we guess what that is?
00:29:03
KateLynn Bundy
By doing more. Good, good job, A+. plus A+. So the real healing begins when they start to do less, when they get still, and when they finally hear their own voice.
Healing and Self-Discovery for Type Twos
00:29:16
KateLynn Bundy
Okay, so let's take another deep breath. Good job, babe. Got through it. ah But let that soak in, honestly. If that any of that resonated with you or you just want to uncover more, you can actually schedule a one-on-one coaching call with me so we can talk about what this looks like for you and in your life specifically.
00:29:34
KateLynn Bundy
Even if you're not a type 2 or need to discover your type, we'll we'll do it all. I do it all. But the link is in the show notes, but you'll like have to copy and paste it into your browser because ghetto. Okay.
00:29:45
KateLynn Bundy
Or it's just, they don't let me do clickable links, which I, there has to be a I'll figure it out. But let's move on to the wings. Again, we're going to talk about this into another episode. Uh, cause again, there's so many dynamics here.
00:30:00
KateLynn Bundy
um but yeah, let's talk about the two of the type wing. Nope. Let's talk about the twos wings, not the Buffalo kind, but a snack sounds great. Actually, that's literally what I had for lunch.
00:30:13
KateLynn Bundy
um But this is the Enneagram kind of wings. Okay. They have two type twos have two major flavors, flavor profiles. Get it? See what I did there? Again, these numbers are only on either side of your numbers. So in this case, you're either a two wing one or a two wing three. So let's touch on it briefly because we'll just have to wait for another time.
00:30:34
KateLynn Bundy
Okay. So sorry about that siren. I hope whoever they're going toward is okay. I always think that when a when a siren goes by, I'm like, it's really annoying, but I really hope and pray that that person will be okay.
00:30:48
KateLynn Bundy
Anyway. The two wing one is what they call the servant. And I gave it, I gave a nickname vibe to, uh, to these wings. So the two wing one, ah the nickname vibe is mother Teresa with a clipboard.
00:31:05
KateLynn Bundy
And so obviously their wing influence is the type one, which we talked about last week. So go and listen to that. Um, which is called the reformer, their core traits, the two wing one core traits is dutiful,
00:31:16
KateLynn Bundy
morally driven, altruistic, with really high standards. They're disciplined. um They feel responsible for others' well-being. Oops, I kicked my cat. Not that hard. Relax.
00:31:29
KateLynn Bundy
um But the two-wing one gives help, quote, the right way and expects the same. They want to be good and helpful for the right reasons. Yeah. And they also can be more reserved, serious, and serious than the other the other wing.
00:31:45
KateLynn Bundy
I'm going to bring up Leslie Knope again. I know I talked about her last week ah being a type one, but also she's a fictional character, so she's not going to have, like, an actual type. But I really feel like her character is either a wing, a type one, wing two,
00:32:01
KateLynn Bundy
or two wing one because she has super high standards, all this stuff, but she, and she'll go out of her way to do the right thing, but also like she'll go out of her way to help anyone at any time. Like, it's just so funny. I actually have it on pause right now, but if you haven't watched that show, Leslie Knob is like the perfect example of the two and the one merged together. And it's just so funny.
00:32:28
KateLynn Bundy
um If you're a type one or a type two, do you actually relate to her character? Like, I have to know. Please comment. Anyway, the two wing three is what we call the host or hostess, depending on your
Understanding Type Two Wings
00:32:42
KateLynn Bundy
gender. The nickname vibe is, I love this, the Pinterest board that came to life. Like, what?
00:32:48
KateLynn Bundy
Yeah. And obviously their wing influence is the type three, which they call the achiever and which we'll be talking about next week. But their core traits are outgoing, charming, ambitious.
00:33:02
KateLynn Bundy
They seek admiration and and success through being helpful. That will make a difference next week when we learn about the three. um But the two wing three, they want to be seen as valuable and desirable.
00:33:16
KateLynn Bundy
They can be status and like conscious driven and really highly image aware. And they can be very polished in presentation and um really good people skills. You'll learn that next. so Type threes are like the people skills.
00:33:31
KateLynn Bundy
masters of the Enneagram. But knowing your wing can help clarify your vibe. Are you behind the scenes caregiver or the sparkling hostess running on compliments and coffee?
00:33:43
KateLynn Bundy
Drop a comment wherever you are if you can. I'm super curious. But moving on because I'm the challenger and we're here to actually grow, we have some journal prompts, some reflections, things for you guys to think about this. It's time to take action. We're not here to just sit and listen and move on, right?
00:34:04
KateLynn Bundy
We're here to evolve and that's why I'm here. ah So whether you're driving or listening at work, give like a mental or literal physical response to these journal prompts.
00:34:17
KateLynn Bundy
Okay. So one, what is one thing I truly want that I've been afraid to ask for?
00:34:27
KateLynn Bundy
Two, what relationship feels one-sided and how have I contributed to that dynamic?
Reflection and Personal Growth Prompts
00:34:34
KateLynn Bundy
Three, when was the last time I said yes, but really meant please God know
00:34:43
KateLynn Bundy
And four, what does love feel like when I'm not doing anything? keyword when I'm not doing anything. If you're not enduring, really encourage it.
00:34:54
KateLynn Bundy
Even if it's for a short period of time, it might help you give that little extra push, that little extra boost to go into the right direction of growth. Because when we talked about that light side, girl, everyone wants to be like that.
00:35:08
KateLynn Bundy
Well, I mean, I love all the light sides of every single type here. But I mean, come on. Do it. All right. Here are some extra action steps, practices and things to remember to really help you develop. And I got a couple of these from ah my favorite book, the wisdom of the Enneagram, if you want to check that out.
00:35:29
KateLynn Bundy
um So first one, don't be so concerned. i know, right. Easier said than done. Don't be so concerned about what others think of you and be particularly aware of trying to win over everyone.
00:35:42
KateLynn Bundy
As you probably know, like logically, no matter what you do, you'll you will almost always end up to displeasing someone. It's a part of life. So it's not it's not impossible.
00:35:53
KateLynn Bundy
it's not possible for everyone to like you or be your friend all of the time. It's more important for you to think carefully about doing the best that you can for someone now and just let it go at that.
00:36:07
KateLynn Bundy
Making peace of this will be tremendously helpful because it's it's just a fact. And even though I'm not a type 2, I have felt in certain situations where I really wanted to be someone's friend because of whatever reasons, but they just didn't want to be.
00:36:25
KateLynn Bundy
And yeah, I really feel that. It's a hit to the ego for sure. And it's really hard not to take personally, but it's just a fact of life and you just let it go and move on. I know, easier said than done.
00:36:37
KateLynn Bundy
All right, the other one is to um learn to recognize the affection and good wishes of others, even when they are not in the terms that you're familiar with or the way that you may have expected it in return.
00:36:49
KateLynn Bundy
So others may not be expressing their feelings in a way that you want. They may be letting you know in other ways how much they care about you, which, come on. And so most people aren't as effusive in their feelings as you, and most are not as naturally inclined to give attention to others.
00:37:08
KateLynn Bundy
But if you can recognize what others are giving you, you will rest more easily in the knowledge that you are loved and that you will not, and you won't be, you will not feel as frustrated with others if you just learn to recognize, basically recognize the other love languages of others, even though you might have all of them.
00:37:29
KateLynn Bundy
Um, lastly, it is vitally important for you to develop good boundaries. I know that's why you need some type eights in your life. Type eights are the Queens and Kings of boundaries setting.
00:37:42
KateLynn Bundy
So they might be your arrow to stress, but they can still be a good influence. um The healthy ones at least like me. Um, boundaries for our type twos will allow you to feel for others without becoming entangled into their problems. Right. That's so Leslie. No, I'm sorry. I'm bringing her up so much, but she's just every, almost every episode she's getting overly involved. It's like when she was getting, um, Ron and Tammy back together, she's like, you guys just need to talk it out and blah, blah, blah. They're like, Leslie, do you know what you just did? Like, and she's like, no, you're welcome.
00:38:20
KateLynn Bundy
And it turned out to be a disaster. Like perfect example. But and all right, let's get back in track. But to support this, learn how to sit in your own skin.
00:38:31
KateLynn Bundy
When others are troubled or need something from you, this does not mean that you should withhold affection or help, but it does mean that you need to stay connected to yourself. at the times in which you are most likely to abandon your own interests and in the pursuit of that approval.
00:38:47
KateLynn Bundy
If you can respect your own boundaries, saying no when you need you're also much less likely to cross others' boundaries as well. This will make for a happier, healthier relationships all around you. So in summary, practice saying no without justifying it.
00:39:04
KateLynn Bundy
Just no. Period. Zilch. Schedule solo time where you do nothing, in all caps, nothing thing for anyone else. And notice when Miss Chloe, your judgmental kitty guilt monster, starts chitter-chattering. She goes, meh.
00:39:22
KateLynn Bundy
Thank her for her input. Thank you, you're really cute cat, but you've got to ignore her. It's the cat's way. All right.
Conclusion and Encouragements
00:39:31
KateLynn Bundy
All right, my little cutie, little buttercups. Your big heart is an actual gift, but you are not just what you give. You are you still you, even when you are resting. You do not have to earn love. It's not a coupon. It's your...
00:39:51
KateLynn Bundy
birthright. Okay. So thanks for tuning in today. That is the episode. This is the podcast where we dive deep babes and into the Enneagram. We laugh a little, we cry a little and remind you that you are enough.
00:40:05
KateLynn Bundy
Okay. Send this to your favorite little helper, leave us a review and remember the world needs you, but not at the cost of you until next time. Be kind, curious and take a nap.
00:40:16
KateLynn Bundy
Peace.