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Christmas Special 2025 - Ep. 2 Feliz NaviDrago
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Episode 2 of our Christmas Special 2025. We wish you all a very Festive Sparkle.
Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr
Follow us on our Twitters - @FellowshipTable
Intro written and produced by Joseph McDade
Music kindly provided by Fesliyan Studios
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Transcript
Introduction and Mechanics of the Game
00:00:00
Speaker
yeah do i need to When do I roll for concentration? oh you should now. Yes, you should now. you've hit. Sorry. That's all right. know in the rules. i know, mate. Yeah. Yeah. It's only taken six years.
00:00:45
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome to this week's epi shit epi pepper shit welcome to this week episode of the of the I only get to do this once a year and the fuck it up every time. Just lean into it. Lean into the epic shit that is the Fellowship of the Tabletop. This is going to be so epic shit. and Anyway, you're about to see some epic shit.
00:01:10
Speaker
Epic shit in this live A5 play podcast set in the magical homebrew world of Gumpleton. We find ourselves once again in the throes of another frantic Christmas and New Year.
00:01:23
Speaker
We've only been drinking a little bit, I swear. I've only been drinking. I'm only mixing my but spirits on this. It's okay. It's all right. You're finding the festive spirit yeah lives in you. It's starting to warm, which is nice. Yeah.
00:01:36
Speaker
Which is good. It's four in that swimming pool last
Big Willie's Nightmares and Spirit Encounter
00:01:39
Speaker
week. On the subject of last week, we find ourselves we found ourselves infringing on a number of our favourite festive films from the Yuletide period. But what we did alongside that was we found a hero of yesteryear, and Big Willie, finding himself wakening after a horrible nightmare about the fall of Christmas and about some of the terrible things that he'd seen.
00:02:03
Speaker
from the maniacal evil that was Hans Huber. He was visited by a spirit, a spirit that he remembered as his dear old friend, Thimble, who had come to warn him about these two ogres that were coming back to ruin Christmas for him.
00:02:20
Speaker
From there, Big Willie made his way downstairs and he felt found another spirit waiting for him, a ghost of Christmas present this time, which took the form of a female half-elf that our listeners will recognise from our Arethian tales of Ren.
00:02:35
Speaker
And of course, Ren was quite frantically looking for her companion, who she seemed to lost in a teleportation spell gone wrong looking for Drago. She tried to cast a spell herself and something interfered with the magic.
00:02:47
Speaker
which turned her into a gnome, much like Big Willy. The trolls landed on the roof, and Big Willy, after some hijinks of going round the house and learning about his rancid meat and curious companion dolls, decided to put use some scrolls that had been left to him by Santa, causing a couple of ogres to fall down the stairs and stumble around in the darkness.
Drago's Confrontation with the Night Hag
00:03:10
Speaker
It only when the clock strike two and the real magic at play that had been haunting this evening became apparent, which was a night hag who had been terrorizing the dreams of Big Willie and then plunged both him and Ren into sleep.
00:03:26
Speaker
in an attempt to entrap and avenge Hans Uber for the defeat at Christmas two years ago. However, what the Nighthag hadn't counted it for was that also transported into this realm and encrusted in the swimming pool below was a hero of a very different type of adventuring on our podcast.
00:03:46
Speaker
the dragonborn Drago, emerged from the pool. The Nighthag tried to en cast to tried to cast some of her magic onto Drago, tried to haunt his visions, and instead saw the truth, saw the past, and potentially saw her future as she saw the great victories of Drago.
00:04:07
Speaker
Sucking the life out of these two ogres to embolden herself for the fight ahead. like She now squares off this monstrous hag of Hag Hill with Drago the Dragonborn.
00:04:20
Speaker
And that's where we'll pick up. We find ourselves at the periphery of the swimming pool, and all of a sudden the world goes black. And for the purposes of this episode, I'm going to make it easier for you, Ian. You can put Big Willy to one side for a second, and instead we need to focus on Drago for a second. And in this darkness, you find yourself...
00:04:42
Speaker
or a snowy, dark field that seems to come to him. You can see a great tower in the background. You recognize this as the Ember Scarb Light, and you find yourself cradling a friend, cradling your friend Claude.
00:04:58
Speaker
Oh, man, why you have to go and do me like that? As life was fading from his body. And as you do that, all of a sudden you blink, and the figure is...
00:05:10
Speaker
Ren, lifeless and in your hands. And you feel you see someone st stretch striding towards you with purpose, hurt and anger in their footsteps.
00:05:22
Speaker
It's Robin. He grabs you and he goes, you said you protect her. And as that happens, all a sudden he dissipates. before anything can happen. And you see this monstrous shadow looming large, now the size of this tower.
00:05:38
Speaker
And all of a sudden you realize as a paladin, as someone who has been sworn to hunt down hags, almost like a witcher now, you you can identify this type of hag. It is a night hag.
00:05:50
Speaker
And she is trying to begin this fight by putting horrifying visions in front of you.
00:05:59
Speaker
You notice again on the floor are a series of bodies. Your father, Syengar, Helena Sleetgaard, Karstan.
00:06:14
Speaker
She is haunting you with visions and you see
00:06:20
Speaker
down near the tower itself, an old fragile dragonborn that you can only perceive to be yourself as an old man. looking back regretfully the friends that you've lost and you hear a voice whisper in your ear and go i can make this a reality if you like dragonborn i see you drago see you defeater of gravette think how powerful we could be together
00:06:56
Speaker
Forsake your oath, forsake Akiva, and give yourself to me.
00:07:06
Speaker
The only forsaken one here is you. I see through your tricks and your lies, these dead bodies, the mirages you're showing me.
00:07:19
Speaker
You've seen the dead bodies that my axe and my blade has put into the world. I'm about to add one more to that. And I'm going to cast Hunter's Mark as Drago clasps um Akiva's amulet and with a single figure draws a circle and then a straight line from top to bottom and then another line through the circle across left to right as that mark pushes forwards as Drago's Dragon Board hand outstretches and imprints on the hag.
The Battle Against the Night Hag
00:07:57
Speaker
And for that, I get to choose a creature you can see within range, so 90 foot, and mystically mark it as my quarry. Until the spell ends, i can deal extra 1d6 damage to the target whenever I hit it with a weapon attack.
00:08:12
Speaker
um I also have advantage on wisdom, survival and perception.
00:08:19
Speaker
to find it but i found it already if the target drops to zero which she's the only target so we don't need to know that and it's a concentration spell lasts for an hour it's one bonus action uh with my other action i'm gonna and i've already done it i've got the great axe already in my hand from the previous episode in my dramatic opening Yep.
00:08:40
Speaker
ah So as you as you point at this tower, all of a sudden it starts to shrink. It starts to shrink again as this hag is seeing a future that ends at the end of your axe. And what happens is is the snow starts to fall even thicker.
00:08:57
Speaker
You get the sense that she's underestimating you and that this snow and this cold that is incarcerating this field now as you can see your breath and the field turns to ice beneath you.
00:09:10
Speaker
just to the environment that fills at home for a nice dragonborn roll initiative oh shit
00:09:21
Speaker
i've missed this boy this man this dragon for a 17 on my initiative what what what shit's about to go down okay i feel so powerful right now because it's drago top of the round and it is the night hags turn i did feel so powerful You did actually roll the 21 on initiative, I'm afraid. She's got quite good and it she's got quite good stats for her initiative. And you feel you feel immediately that she's not keen to fight you in a fistfight right now. And she's going to try and cast Dream.
00:10:02
Speaker
And in order to do that, you feel this urge of slumbery sleep start to take over you. Can Drago make a wisdom saving f throw, please?
00:10:13
Speaker
I can. For a 23. Okay, yeah, you feel sleep start to come on and you feel like this cold should be forcing you closer and closer to sleep.
00:10:27
Speaker
And you think back to some of the visions that you've seen. You think back to some of the people she's tried to weaponize against you. You haven't raged for a very long time.
00:10:39
Speaker
but it probably feels akin to that and something in that primal fire, that primal instinct of a dragonborn shakes off the fear. And all of a sudden, instead of being a monstrous tower anymore, she's now a hag staring in front of you, no more than 30 feet away.
00:10:58
Speaker
and you realize you're no longer on the icy fields of the Emberscar Blight. Instead, you're overlooking a strange town at the top of a tower, and you see this creature falling off this tower.
00:11:12
Speaker
This is the original death of Hans Uber that you're seeing. And you hear a voice echo around in the air, in the air, and it goes, New Year's Eve, three years ago where Hans fell, it's where I shall avenge him by f throwing your corpse off this tower.
00:11:31
Speaker
And as that happens,
00:11:35
Speaker
she's all of sudden stunned that all of a sudden that you seem to be able to see her and it's like she can feel you've marked her and you see a glint of panic in her eye she's about 20 feet away from you it's your turn i don't know what i'm doing here i know enough to know you've hurt my friend you have an opportunity to let ren go gonna Assure you if you do not, let her go walk away from whatever this is.
00:12:10
Speaker
i will end your life here. have been teleported to far, Far more darker places than this. Snow kingdom. As Drago almost says in disgust looking around. He's walking towards her. Can you let me know when I get within 10 feet? Yeah, you easily do that. You've got 30 feet of movement and she's about 20 feet away. So you'll be you will be stride. I'm getting right up to her face then. So it will be five foot by my count. um yeah How tall is the hag?
00:12:41
Speaker
The hag is, a what good question. You get the sense if she was able to stand fully upright, she would level you. But she's hagged over slightly. So she's probably, if you're you're you're over seven foot, right?
00:12:54
Speaker
Yep. yeah shit She's probably about six foot two. Amazing. So Dragan will just reach this hag's face and peer down, towering above her and bring his snout up close to her mauled face.
00:13:08
Speaker
And she's going to see his piercing blue eyes burn with fury. And if she was to look into his mouth as she talks, there's this thaw. throat that's kind of burning with ice and the steam and smoke is starting to kind of effervesce from his jaws choose wisely your next actions for it might be the last time you make a choice today and i'm going to use my action to do a
00:13:44
Speaker
I said define something. It's give me something, Ian. You know what you were doing. Divine sense. Nope.
00:13:56
Speaker
Nope. It was it was really cool. It's going to be great. It's going to give me a vantage because I'm channeling something and I'm now trying to go through my sheets and and find it and i'm talking as i do it and it takes an action and here we go i've got it it's uh it's actually a bonus action but i'm going to use it as an action for this one so i'm going to channel divinity so the channel divinity jarga's eyes will burn a blue but the amulet from claude akiva's amulet from season one burns a hot yellow and combines almost with that hunter's mark uh
00:14:41
Speaker
As for a brief moment, Drago's blue eyes close as he's communing with the amulet. And he's going to use it to channel Divinity Vow of anmininity. Anmininity. Anmininity.
00:14:57
Speaker
You can choose a creature you see within 10 foot of you and gain advantage on attack rolls against it for one minute. or until it drops to zero HP or falls unconscious. So Drago has got Hunter's Mark on that son of a bitch, as well as advantage.
00:15:12
Speaker
Oh yeah. ah But he's made his threat. He's asked for the hag to leave and to let Ren go. That's the end of my go. ah The hag is going to process that and it's going to shift into a form of a hooded figure.
00:15:29
Speaker
And as the hood comes down, you see purple eyes looking at you and a haggard, haunted, pale elf. And all of a sudden, it's going to just surge you and go, who are you to talk of friends being abandoned and wanting to stick up for your friends? You didn't stand up for me when I needed you to. You played your tricks and look what it did to me. And all of a sudden, you're in a tavern.
00:15:51
Speaker
You're in a tavern and some of your friends watch on as this elf just starts to wail on you. You recognize this elf is Elphir as you're plunged into the past. As this ah the blows that landed at you that day are thrown at you again.
00:16:07
Speaker
That's a crit. but That's a natural 20 as this elf levels into you.
00:16:23
Speaker
You take 20 points of bludgeoning damage as this elf just fuds into you. Holy shit. i I was looking up Big Willy's page where it says 20 or 20 HP and had a heart attack.
00:16:36
Speaker
ah ah That hurts, but I'm okay. I'm up. Woof. That's a solid hit. It's going to flurry of blows and try to hit you again. Oh, do i need to when do I roll for concentration?
00:16:50
Speaker
ah Oh, you should now. Yes, you should now. you've hit. Sorry. That's all right. You know in the rules. I know, mate. Yeah. Yeah. It's only taken six years. Yeah. So this is concentration on Hunter's Mark, right?
00:17:01
Speaker
Hunter's Mark. Yeah. Channel of my valve. Oh, um it's a four. Four. You need to make the DC's 10. So with your modifier, do you not make that? Oh, what's my modifier?
00:17:13
Speaker
What's my modifier? So it's a concentration saving throw. So whatever your con save plus is. Oh, it's a 10 in total. Oh, so you make it to 10? Yeah.
00:17:24
Speaker
Yeah, you hold. So the dammp so that to hold the spell, it's either... I know what to do. I just don't know what to how to do it. So you hold. 10 to DC. So you hold. You feel it start to shift.
00:17:34
Speaker
The second punch goes to land. And this time she rolls a 13 to hit. That misses. Yeah, you're able to block the punch and this time the elven figure turns away.
00:17:47
Speaker
And all of a sudden instead you're now on a ship and this figure is now 20 feet behind you. And you hear Elphir's voice again goes, you know what it's like to face betrayal.
00:18:00
Speaker
Don't you draggle. And as you hear the Irish Dorset Khajiit tones, you turn around and you see still purple eyes, but now the figure of Carl G just holding this lantern up at you as the moon glistens behind him and he goes, isn't it about time that you lost?
00:18:22
Speaker
It's your turn.
00:18:29
Speaker
That's a cheap trick.
00:18:32
Speaker
look further into my past and find out what I can do and I'm going to swing with my great axe and pump at the same time a healthy dose of divine smite at second level as Drago's eyes flash with anger so let's fucking see if we hit first off that's gonna be a healthy 25 to hit hit Here we go. I've got some i' got some Ds to ride ah to to do on this. So let's fucking go with just my standard slashing attack first, which is going to be 12 plus 5.
00:19:24
Speaker
That's 10 points of slashing, which I'm now going to add the 1d6 for Hunter's Mark.
00:19:36
Speaker
Plus two more. So what, that's 12 slashing. And here we go for that sexy Divine Smite. What level are you casting this at just for us? second.
00:19:50
Speaker
For 16 points of radiant damage as Drago's axe goes from a ah just a plain level left to right across the Hag's midrith. And as he does so, the amulet flashes gold. And that gold pumps through Drago's icy blue hands. as As he grasps the great axe, it also has that...
00:20:14
Speaker
gold, heavenly, divine colour as it slashes through and makes deep contact. Yeah, and as you hit, all of a sudden, Carl Jeet's figure in the boat changes.
00:20:31
Speaker
Uh, and you find yourself no longer on the boat and you find that the hag has taken you at your word and has looked further into your past. And you find yourself in a desolate village surrounded by corpses. And you see a small frightened child, Tali, as a young girl looking up at you with horror in her eyes. And the hag goes, oh, it's a good thing peering into your past. I can see all sorts that you've done.
00:20:58
Speaker
drago tell me did you know that the girl had to modify her memory to eradicate the pain that you caused and all of a sudden you realize that the voice isn't coming from around you it's this it's
Drago's Struggle with Memories
00:21:14
Speaker
the image of talia girl but the eyes and mouth are that of this hag as it spits this unforgiving venom at you. And in looking into your past has focused on a moment
00:21:30
Speaker
There are many moments of pride and of heroics in your past. She's found one that you are not proud of. and it's deciding And again, you're not you're no longer on the boat with Carl G. You're not on that frozen landscape. You're not in that tavern. You've been taken to another point. You're in the desolate remains of that village as embers and fires burst and corpses lie around you.
00:21:54
Speaker
It is her second. I've got two attacks. Oh, you do? Yes, of course you do. Yes, sorry. Yes, yes. yeah Sorry. yes this is a This is a response to taking damage. is that she yeah that that that's Yeah, that's all it's done. It's caused him to falter a little bit. He takes just half a step backwards at seeing Tali's face, but then recognizing the hag's eyes and mouth.
00:22:15
Speaker
it's just made him even more angry ah because she's made him feel emotions. Jarga doesn't like feeling emotions, so he's really going to take this next swing and it's going to be from over the top of his head down into the face of Tali. But he's going to will himself to do it and close his eyes at the moment of um of hitting if he hits. And he's also going to use another Divine Smite if it... Oh no! 11 hit.
00:22:43
Speaker
to hit Mrs, you look up and you see... All you see is this swing, Mrs. These eyes look up at you. And instead what you see is this... Tali is now looking after this chamber.
00:22:58
Speaker
This chamber that seems to have a a very minute version of you in it. And the glass crashes. And this small version of you withers and just dies.
00:23:11
Speaker
And you hear the voice goes... You didn't really think she'd look after you, did you? Would you would really trust yourself in such a vulnerable state to someone that you caused so much pain to?
00:23:24
Speaker
Let's also now look into some other things that you have either done or will do. And you see yourself picking up this, you see yourself with a gnome picking up this elf and lobbing them into a corridor.
00:23:36
Speaker
You see this elf desolately wandering through a street and you see him being tortured and ultimately dying in the most gruesome of the brutal ways. And it's hanging now, this corpse, on this altar as these dead sphinxes lie around. And all of a sudden, the eyes of this corpse lights up and these eyes of Rain's Hallow look up at you. These hollowed eyes and they go to you...
00:24:05
Speaker
The entire fate of the kingdom killed because you couldn't maintain your anger. All I wanted to do was make the world or better place.
00:24:20
Speaker
That's all I wanted. And all of a sudden this corpse just springs and the form of reins turns into this and monstrous hag as it launches at you with these claws again. That's a 24 to hit.
00:24:36
Speaker
Yeah, that hits. That is six points of slashing damage. Well, I think it slashes at your face with a second go. That rolls three, so that's going to level that's going to be a ten to hit.
00:24:50
Speaker
10 misses. I'm just rolling my... These flashes land, and all of a sudden you go from seeing this figure on an altar as as as this as it literally has launched at you, this corpse of Rain's Hallow has turned into this hag again as it scratches away at you.
00:25:05
Speaker
And you find yourself this time... in the depths of a city you find yourself in the depths of a city surrounded by shadows and you are in this teleportation circle and you can see two figures hopelessly looking out back at you as you know the teleportation circle is about to hit and one of their voices goes to you you couldn't save them could you you left them in the darkness Look at all these things you've done. Oh, I've enjoyed looking into your past and future Dragonborn.
00:25:40
Speaker
It is full of death. You put me to shame. And as she emerges from the shadows, she looks at you and is just holding the head of Miki and the gentleman, the two figures that you left behind.
00:25:56
Speaker
to die as the teleportation went off in father keep and as she drops his head she just gestures you towards her it's your turn there's a lot going on Drago's just been hit uh and as she's diving into his psyche man and that's just for someone as strong as as Drago is physically um mentally she's starting to unpick at him so hunter's mark is going to drop as drago takes just half a step backwards grasping the amulet with his left hand and pulls his willpower into the amulet to commune with akiva
00:26:48
Speaker
Akiva, I need your aid. Help me overcome this mental battle. As he casts heroism on himself and a willing creature you touch is imbued with bravery.
00:27:03
Speaker
Until the spell ends, the creature is immune to being frightened and gains temporary hit points equal to my spellcasting ability modifier at the start of each of my turns. ah It's a concentration spell.
00:27:18
Speaker
so you dropped Hunter's Mark. I dropped Hunter's Mark, yep. And yeah, as the spell takes effect, almost like a shield, that yellow divine golden light flashes across Drago's skin and it imbues itself within his veins. And so he's almost, because he's an ice...
00:27:42
Speaker
blue dragon is silver but his ice blue veins kind of give him that almost ice particle effect it mixes in with the blue and he's turned just a shade of green as the heroism akiva's heroism mixes in and he gives the hag a more leveled look And he just works his shoulders, cracks his knuckles, cracks his head from side to side and grips tighter the great axe in his hand.
00:28:16
Speaker
You're going to regret this. And that's the end of my game. Okay. What the hag is going to do is as you cast heroism, all of a sudden it's like her ability to start manipulating your mind falters and you find yourself back in Hag Hill. You find yourself back at the swimming pool.
00:28:39
Speaker
And she seems quietly perturbed by that. And what she's going to do is she's going to try and fling you back into that nightmare realm again. She's going to try and cast Dream on you again. I need you to make another wisdom saving throw, please.
00:28:55
Speaker
Come on. Wisdom. That's lovely. 24. yeah The spell fails and instead of flinging you into a nightmare realm, instead, she flings you into the fields of the Ember Scar again. And only this time you're cutting through Grisette as you did that time.
00:29:23
Speaker
And as she watches that happen, fear, fear forms in her eyes again. That is her turn as she tried to once again bring you into her Neverrealm.
00:29:35
Speaker
Over to you. A flash of success as he gets that sense of power as he did when he was taken on Graza, uh, just imbues Drago and he's going to pull on that memory of Claude who was aiding his weapon and hopefully will aid it again as that tag team of Drago and Claude once again, look to take on a big bad. And with that, he swings his ax down for a 17 to attack.
00:30:04
Speaker
to attack
00:30:07
Speaker
17 meets and beats oh shit we found it guys he's gonna pump in some divine smite but first off let's do that wonderful uh damage for slashing which is a 16 and then he's going for a first level divine smite which is 2d8 uh radiant damage will come up as eight points of radiant damage he is Burning through the spell slots as he takes a mental just count of how much divine power he's got left, but he's okay. And he's still in that kind of soft rage. He doesn't rage anymore because he is one with Akiva, but just goes, one more time, Claude. We can do this again, my friend.
00:30:48
Speaker
And he goes for a vertical slice on his second attack. Again, his eyes flashing with triumph as he goes for 16. Ah, God. ah mis He's only hitting once at the moment.
00:31:02
Speaker
And as it's Christmas, I'm not going to attempt to do the voice because no one could do the voice quite like Danny. But you hear a familiar tone go, you are blessed. ah You can add a D4 to that role. ah Which of course means you have to at least roll a one, which means that the very least you're going to hit. He got a two and he's going to roll for the slashing damage, which is again another 16. And again, he's going to pump the divine smite this time because he heard ja and Claude's voice. He's going for a second level.
00:31:38
Speaker
of ah Yes, second level divine smite, which gives me another D8 on top of it for 16 points of radiant damage. as Claude's words go from Drago's mind to his heart, through to his hands, and through the weapon.
00:31:55
Speaker
that That's you earning a little bit of heroic inspiration that's manifested through the proxy of Claude blessing you because of the beauty of the description. and but We love Claude. We stand Claude here. yeah and Okay, the hag then and is out of... that Now you've passed that save, it cannot try to hurl you through the the horrors of your past again. So it has no choice but to stand up and fight you. and It's going to take a swing at you.
00:32:24
Speaker
go to do it That's a 12 to hit. not Misses. 12 and then a natural 1 as this trick tries to hit you. And the claws this time that seem to, in the horror of the past, just impulsively reach out and find you, whether it was manifesting out of the corpse of Rain's Hallow or whether it was flifting in the that the fist of Elphir,
00:32:52
Speaker
whatever magic she held in that realm is not present here and you're just able to brush these claws aside with your sword as ah was your axe rather as they come at you um it's your turn Which is amazing as Drago definitely just kind of steps to the left. He's going to circle her. His predatory stance and his combat ability really starting to take effect here as his training is becoming one and it's overpowering his mind. And he's losing himself in the joy of the battle, that primal joy that him and his father and his brother always found in.
00:33:29
Speaker
that respect and honor that comes with a good fight. And now he's present and full of mind and his mindfulness is strong. He's going to step around her and step one five foot movement back.
00:33:44
Speaker
as he's feeling that pride swell in his chest, in his heart.
The Final Confrontation and Victory Over the Hag
00:33:48
Speaker
He knows who he is. He knows where he is. He knows what he's here to do. He doesn't know the situation he finds himself in, but he knows that Ren's in trouble and that's enough for him to overpower any fear and that victory that that success starts to pulse and it starts to build in his heart and pushes up as ice cold his veins flash blue through that green that i described earlier as he opens his jaw wide having stepped back he moves his axe to one side and one hand so that he's got nothing stood in front of him as
00:34:25
Speaker
pure ice breath dragon breath comes out and envelops in a 15 foot cold cone over the hag for a 3d6 pure ice damage do i have to make a save to see if that's half you have to make a save which is a constitution dc 15 you'll take half if you save That is 15 bang on. Sorry. So you're going to take six points of cold damage as these icicle effects, almost like Shiva from a Final Fantasy game, let's say eight because it is the best one, starts to form and just shoot out as hard icicles start to pierce through the hag.
00:35:05
Speaker
Okay, yeah. and that's A lot of a miss. Yeah, a lot of them miss as as as a bit of fury takes over. And you find yourself as the ice dissipates, you find yourself back in the swimming pool, back on the material plane. And what the hag is going to do now is...
00:35:23
Speaker
It realizes that it's crossed the boundary and that the offer for clemency is now now gone. It cannot, as you've passed the save too many times, inflict on you the horrors that it has done up until this point. So it has no choice but to just desperately lunge for you again with these claws.
00:35:43
Speaker
The first one is 18 to hit. Yeah, that hits.
00:35:51
Speaker
You... Oh, it's only one of the wrong on damage. Or it gets another dice, though. Let's roll the two on damage. So you take five points of slashing damage. That's okay. I need to make a constitution saving throw my... You That's a 25. We're still good. I've still got... You're still good.
00:36:08
Speaker
Yeah, I'm still brave. Second swing is 15 to hit. That misses.
00:36:16
Speaker
That misses. Okay, yeah. So one claw lands and I imagine kind of like Khal Drogo where he pushes that that wound out. The second one, it's just it it it goes to hit again and again is brushed aside on the second one.
00:36:30
Speaker
um The hag is looking slightly frightened now. Fear that this creature is frightened of you. it's your turn that almost feeds trago that fear as he sniffs the air and his chest gets bigger as he starts to realize that his prey is fallen victim like so many before as he steps that five foot forwards where he took it back for the breath of the last time and as he does so again at 11 play a level playing field he's going to 11 a level plane, he's trying really hard to be cool and calm and collected, but I'm too excited. He's going to swing his great axe. Having forgot in my cool and calm excitedness that I actually get advantage because of my vow of enememememene and my enemememe and I haven't rolled for advantage at all. I set it up.
00:37:19
Speaker
I set it up with my Hunter's Mark and not once have I used it. So I'm going to roll for advantage this time around in the hopes that it works really well. 26 to hit. Yeah, that hits.
00:37:30
Speaker
He's going to go for a lovely Divine Smite, but first that's a six on slashing damage. okay He's coming up to the end of his spell slots.
00:37:42
Speaker
This is a first level Divine Smite, which will be a wonderful eight points of radiant damage as Claude is still side by side like he has been this whole time with Drago.
00:37:54
Speaker
that epic tag team that they are and always will be and that beautiful partnership is with him again like his friend is almost stood behind the hag and they are combating together as one as he rolls a fucking crit for his second hit how do you want me to do this crit darren what's your rules on it You've rolled a crit for the second hit, have you? I have. 27. The first thing I would like you to do is tell me what your base damage is going to be.
00:38:22
Speaker
Okay, my base damage is going to be i a wonderful 8. Okay. It doesn't matter what else you do because the hag had 7 hit points left. Oh, shit! How do you want to do this?
00:38:39
Speaker
So as he almost sees the portrait of Claude stood there behind the hag, just giving Drago advantage and being there with his big fucking eyes, ah it has been a sense of profound loss of but gratitude of just having known him in the first place and helping him again, showing him that those who leave us never truly leave us if we keep them within our hearts. And he swings with that love through his final great acts
00:39:19
Speaker
motion from a diagonal floor as he hits the floor first sparks fly up the yellow sparks because he's divine smiting and he just managed to find that sweet spot as he just in a diagonal up from left to right slices this hag in twain from the mid-width up
Gratitude and Future Plans
00:39:43
Speaker
Yeah, and the hag lets out this scream as they dissipate into smoke and seem to disappear back out into the night winter cold of Christmas as this hag eviscerates.
00:39:56
Speaker
And something happens at that point. Ren and Big Willie, who are incarcerated in this ice, the ice just melts and they find themselves in the room with you.
00:40:08
Speaker
ha ah am i Oh, my God. Did I just I feel like I witnessed some Christmas miracle. Who are you? As Big Willie starts to make his steps over and runs to go and hug Drago.
00:40:22
Speaker
ah What? No, no, no, no. I don't know who you are. Stay away. Stay the fuck away. No, I'm coming in. I'm coming in for big old Big Willie hug. A big what? Big what? What are you? could Ren, what's going on?
00:40:35
Speaker
Yeah, um but i can I can help. and She's going to flick a spell at Big Willie. Can Big Willie please make a constitution saving phrase?
00:40:47
Speaker
Oh, poor Big Willie. um That's a sexy 12 though. That's not enough. As that happens, you leap forward and he's just she casts whole person as you're in midair. So just as you're about to hug Drago, Big Willy is frozen in in midair.
00:41:05
Speaker
um And she kind of comes over to you and goes, look, I'm
00:41:11
Speaker
I think he's harmless. We're in a strange place. that the the the The teleportation's... but It hasn't worked. um This place is called Christmas. It's really strange. It's really weird. But it's okay. don't Don't look at me like that. I can get us out of here. And I have good news. I have good news as well. You know you know how we how we wanted it the ability to disguise ourselves? Well, I accidentally cast a spell and...
00:41:34
Speaker
Hey, fun thing. We can disguise o ourselves now. that that That's the good news. but Okay. That there is bad news. There's always bad news, Ren. It's spells and spells are iffy.
00:41:48
Speaker
The spell is limited to well-being like him. And you'll point at this gnome that is frozen in midair. um to Define be like him.
00:42:04
Speaker
You'll have all the physical properties of yourself. You'll just look like that. No, I'm not on board with this. Well... That's a hard no.
00:42:15
Speaker
Well, do you know what the best part about potentially teleporting into other dimensions is? It's that you probably won't remember this. So... um right And I won't remember how I figured it out either, which is which is great for all of us, right? You know, i'm I'm really glad that I got into this magical world and became one with spellcasting, but fuck me, does it still piss me off?
00:42:39
Speaker
Yeah, um... Are you okay? Yeah, last thing I remember was these two ogres were causing a ruckus around and
00:42:52
Speaker
Then I was here. Right. So he's a friend. Points over to the suspended Big Willie. Can Big Willie talk it's in whole person? No, he can make kind of oh um on yeah of... He's this. This thing is a friend. I mean, I don't think he's an enemy, but friends... Friends are big word, Drago.
00:43:17
Speaker
Right. Okay. Okay. Apparently Christmas is a time of being nice though and cheer so... Can I... Can I... He's gonna hug you if I break the spell. Yeah, no, don't break the spell.
00:43:31
Speaker
I don't give a fuck that it's a time for cheer. okay. Um... Well... Um... I can get us out of here. I'm just gonna need time to cast a spell.
00:43:42
Speaker
Right, okay. So we're leaving. Unless you want to stay for this Christmas thing.
00:43:53
Speaker
I get the sense that this is you asking and not me. Hey, no, um...
00:44:01
Speaker
It just... When we were in the kitchen, this this this guy was saying what Christmas was about. It was about family and friends and, uh... There was, um... Card parchment thing that, uh...
00:44:18
Speaker
It's gonna sound stupid, but it had a Robin on it, and... I haven't seen him in a long time, you know?
00:44:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:30
Speaker
I promised you that I will get you to Robin. I intend to uphold that promise, Wren.
00:44:38
Speaker
I guess we have been...
00:44:43
Speaker
through a hard journey, and...
00:44:48
Speaker
We deserve a rest. um If this is a safe place, Draga looks around at the death. If this is a safe place in your esteemed estimations, I guess we can spend a night here, but don't fucking get him near me.
00:45:07
Speaker
She'll go over to the suspended big Willie and go, OK, I'm going to break the spell now. What's his name? He says his name's Big Willy, but he's not very big, so I i think he's adding the big himself.
00:45:25
Speaker
Fuck me. Okay. I'm worried that he might if I try and break the spell, but hey, you in there, if I drop this spell, you're not to try and touch the dragonborn. You're not to try and hug him. You're not to try and do any of those things because he will cleave you in half with his axe.
00:45:42
Speaker
I genuinely believe that. Big Willy's eyes are like, they're getting bigger by the moment as he's just trying to, hmm.
00:45:51
Speaker
This Ren's going to look at Drago and go, do do I let him out? Just, it's not the first time I've been teleported to a strange place. This place is called Christmas.
00:46:03
Speaker
It's for family and friends to get together and, and do what? What am I signing up for?
00:46:13
Speaker
I'd have to, we're going to have to let him answer it. I don't know. Right. Fine. Let him. Let me just... Hold on. And Drago is going to step back with his great axe out in front.
00:46:30
Speaker
Okay. Let's let him go.
00:46:36
Speaker
w Ren's going to step back and she's just going to close her eyes and click her fingers and Big Willy's just going to fall to the floor.
00:46:45
Speaker
Yeah, Welcome to my home. It's very good to have ah friends here, to which Ren, obviously we've met before.
00:46:57
Speaker
ah And i I was really happy that you randomly came into my life because you helped me defeat two ogres that were going to kill me.
00:47:09
Speaker
And then you, you big Dragonborn, you defeated the big, big evil hag that is Mel, which if yeah I've done that too, can I just say, and I would have been fine on my own because i don't know if you know this. My name is Big Willie. I'm a big deal around here. Champion of Christmas, two-time champion of Christmas, undefeated, undisputed champion of Christmas, two-time. And to to ah offer thanks for your wonderful...
00:47:39
Speaker
Indeed. ah Let me just hang on. And Big Willie's going to close his eyes and just whisper a Christmas carol, which will be Jingle Bells. And I don't need to do that again because I'm going to spare my listeners that as Drago is going to receive...
00:48:02
Speaker
a healing word put upon him for three points of healing as that jingle, almost like musical notes start to come out from Big Willy's mouth and will kind of layer itself tattoo style onto Drago's skin as he takes a spell.
00:48:20
Speaker
um
00:48:23
Speaker
There's your lot. But right here suggests that we're Good to spend the night. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard that too. I'm very happy to have company on this Christmas occasion. We might need to get some food or at least a takeaway. Okay.
00:48:44
Speaker
What's a takeaway? I don't know. What's a takeaway? It's where I don't have to cook you bad food and you don't get food poisoning. Yeah, I wouldn't eat any of the meat in his kitchen. He says he's at least 14 days old. 14 days old.
00:48:58
Speaker
fourteen days It's a specialty. I'm not feeding you that. what Whatever you do, don't ask me. He's got this doll that's really creepy. just du Leave Mando alone.
00:49:09
Speaker
ah Come follow me. Follow me. Follow me. And Big Willie's just quite excited at having company again
Christmas Traditions and Celebration
00:49:16
Speaker
in his house. And he's going to lead Drago and Ren and just start talking about all the heroics he's done over the last Christmases. So so last year was a bit bit dull for me, like no one called, but the years before. And he's just going to regale the story as they as he walks them to the sitting room.
00:49:34
Speaker
and um And as you regale the story, eventually Ren's going to go so so Big Willie, there's this there's this family of gnomes from Aerith called the Fiddlebangs, and they're known for being really, really quiet and not saying much. So if you could just like, they sound shit. I'm the only gnome you need to know.
00:49:54
Speaker
gnome no no this gnome big willy when you go and and let's not talk about you going because that sounds sad but when you when you regale the legend that is big willy you do me justice right yeah big willy big deal mm-hmm right then's gonna look at drago no no he's not talking to me i'm not gonna regale this story well um put it this way i won't be uh
00:50:26
Speaker
I tell you what, I know a guy. I know a guy who's quite good at embellishing stories. No, no embellishing. No need to embellish here. I'm Big Willie. No, we don't embellish Big Willie. You like my tree?
00:50:38
Speaker
Drago? Drago? Drago? Look at my tree. Guess how long it took me to shave that thing. Especially the circle bits at the bottom. Why does it look like a phallus? I swear, Ren, do you really want to stay here?
00:50:53
Speaker
No, but but you look like you've been put through the... wall You look like you need a rest. what or what Forget me, what happened with you? Huh.
00:51:04
Speaker
You know...
00:51:07
Speaker
Same old shit. Try to take me down. This time try to get into my head. And... As always... Was saved by my friends.
00:51:24
Speaker
So, doesn't matter where we end up. We're not alone. Yeah, he's not alone anymore because Big Willie hit. No, I'm not talking about you. Not talking about you.
00:51:37
Speaker
so...
00:51:39
Speaker
A drink, a toast, a toast, new friends, new friends and, and celebrating. I assume this will be your first Christmas. Oh, maybe Santa bring you big present, big Dragonborn present and big, uh, gnome, I guess now present for you.
00:51:58
Speaker
You're gnome now. Oh, you'll love the gnome life. Um, just I'll give you present. I'll give you present. And he walks over to Manda and will pick up this inflatable doll.
00:52:13
Speaker
Listeners, you can fucking ah infer what this doll looks like. Draw on your own personal lives. And he will present that to Ren. A big friend. Raspberry Jam from Grand Theft Auto 5, right, listeners?
00:52:26
Speaker
Jesus. Who's that? Anyway, at this from me to you.
00:52:33
Speaker
You accept it and go, and and ah um listeners, you may have clocked on to this in the way that Ian hasn't, but Ren changed back from being a gnome ah in the in the last episode. And she'll just kind of go, does does does he genuinely think I'm still a gnome?
00:52:50
Speaker
Yes, deluded I am. In fact, probably not a good idea for me to give you this because she's only a company I have. ah Still, Merry Christmas. Thought counts here more than actual presents. And he kind of pulls Manda back and he shovels her back into the closet to which she came and pushes her back As you do that, you hear a rattle at the door.
00:53:13
Speaker
um Fine, I'll go get it. yep It's your fucking house. Is this guy for real? Big Willy will walk over to the door. And as you open the door...
00:53:25
Speaker
You see a series of familiar faces.
00:53:29
Speaker
See? My friends! Who do I see? Shout your names, it's been a while! You see Noodle. You see Fimble. Nudes! You see Balbazar.
00:53:40
Speaker
Balbazar! You see Prancer. Prancer! They're all here. Who else do I see? And and as Big Willy is doing. What other names do I see? Prancer. I see some of some of you at the back. Shout your names. It's been a while.
00:53:56
Speaker
i can't remember all of them. Shut up, you stupid little gnome. oh yeah that doesn't say anything that's like the fourth time we've thrown shade at callum for being quiet i'm really sorry callum uh you see a decrepit reindeer next to him you've both you've already seen me dear boy and then we get to nudes and nudes is just looks up at you is typing something on a phone and just looks at you with kind of like an emo hair flick and just out of her face or out of their face and i can't remember what gender nudes was um and all of a sudden then what happens is baldasar goes well are you are you going to invite us in yeah as uh big willie take a long time to think about it come in me i'm a new friend i'm big deal and we just saved christmas again you're welcome come on in
00:54:50
Speaker
Meanwhile, um as you're doing that, Ren is just going to Drago. Shall we go? like do you really want to stay with this guy?
00:55:01
Speaker
I feel like it's feel like it's rude if we just teleport out of here. Let's give this Christmas thing a shot. He looks lonely.
00:55:13
Speaker
Sure, sure. But if he puts that doll near me again, I'm gonna turn him into one. Just as a... I'm okay with that. Cool. Um... Hey, Wren.
00:55:25
Speaker
Yeah?
00:55:28
Speaker
I don't know. Um... Good Christmas to you. Hey, no, um... I have a... I know what they say for that. And she just goes into the kitchen, and she comes back, and she hands you the card with the robin on it. and that they say, um...
00:55:44
Speaker
Merry Christmas, Drago.
00:55:53
Speaker
I preferred mine, but sure, Merry Christmas to you, wren And as Big Willy leads his band of Christmas cheer into the living room, we find two heroes from Erif embracing the Christmas spirit for the first time and maybe finding, in a life full of adventure and danger, a chance for merriment, contemplation and time with friends and loved ones.
00:56:22
Speaker
And that... ladies and gentlemen, is where we're going to end this year's dive into Christmas chaos with the Fellowship of the Tabletop.
00:56:33
Speaker
I mean, like, considering one DM, one player, I feel like we did all right there. I feel like we did Christmas 2025 for the Fellowship of the Tabletop proud.
00:56:47
Speaker
Darren, thank you very much. It is a pleasure. Just like Drago and Ren sharing that time with family and friends. It's nice to share it with you. It's been lovely to share it with you.
00:56:59
Speaker
Listeners, as always, thank you for tuning in, making us a part of your festive week. I hope, we hope, you've had just the best Christmas.
00:57:09
Speaker
Thank you for everything this year for listening to us and um for helping us prop up the stats. It's always nice to see those numbers.
00:57:21
Speaker
And genuinely, just another year of doing this. We're very lucky. so heartfelt thanks and heartfelt merry christmas to one and all we shall see you next week where we pick up with bellum draconis as we start to head towards the final chapter of that story be well be merry and