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What support do SENDIASS services offer?
86 Plays1 hour ago
In this ep, CEO Ed Archer sits down with Beth Silcox, a qualified counsellor and specialist in Special Educational Needs and Disability (SEND) advice. With experience spanning therapeutic counselling, education, and family advocacy, Beth brings a powerful mix of professional knowledge and lived experience as a parent of neurodivergent children.
Together, Ed and Beth explore the real-world challenges families face when navigating the SEND system – from understanding your child’s rights to finding the right kind of support. Beth breaks down the key services available to parents and carers, including local authority SENDIASS teams, and explains how families can access free, impartial guidance at every stage of their journey.
Listeners will gain practical insights into:
- How to approach your child’s school about additional support.
- What to expect from your local authority’s “local offer”.
- The role of SENDIASS (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities Information, Advice, and Support Services).
- What to do if your request for an Education, Health and Care (EHC) needs assessment is declined — and how to manage the appeal process.
- Why combining legal understanding with empathy is crucial for empowering families.
Beth’s compassionate, informed perspective helps parents feel seen, supported, and equipped to advocate for their children — while also addressing the emotional toll the process can take.
Part 1 sets the scene for a deeper conversation in Part 2, where the discussion moves toward practical problem-solving, managing burnout, and sustaining hope through the SEND journey.
Deeper Dive Subscriber Episode
For those who’d like to go further, an exclusive “Deeper Dive” subscriber episode is available through our Training Hub. You can access it here: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/
Disclaimer
The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers in this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the PDA Society. While we aim to provide balanced and inclusive discussions, individual experiences and perspectives may vary. The PDA Society is committed to using language and terminology that reflects the preferences of PDA/autistic people, but sometimes our guests may use language and terminology which differs. Appearance on our podcast is not an endorsement of an individual, and not all of our guests will align with our position on the issues discussed.
Further sources of support and information:
PDA Society training hub: https://training.pdasociety.org.uk/pda-podcasts/
PDA Society Website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/
PDA Society Training: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/training/
PDA Society Support Service: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/support-and-training/support/
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Transcript
Introduction to PDA Society Podcast
00:00:10
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the PDA Society's podcast. We're here to chat about all things PDA to help you understand what people with this profile of autism are experiencing and how you can help.
00:00:21
Speaker
We'll be sharing research, professional expertise and the insights of people with lived experience to help you understand PDA and have more tools to make life easier. So whether you're a PDA yourself, a family member, friend or professional trying to make a difference, welcome from everybody at the PDA Society.
00:00:42
Speaker
We hope you'll find this useful.
Meet the Guests: Ed Archer and Beth Silcox
00:00:47
Speaker
Hello everyone, welcome to today's podcast. My name is Ed Archer, I'm CEO of PDA Society and I'm joined today by Beth Silcox. Beth is a qualified counsellor and a specialist in special educational needs and disability advice.
00:01:05
Speaker
ah She's previously provided impartial legally informed guidance to parents and carers of children with SEND. She's a trained therapeutic counsellor and she builds upon her deep commitment to children's mental health and wellbeing ah by supporting whole families.
00:01:23
Speaker
in that she's got hands-on experience from residential schools and a research background in school behavior policies and their inclusivity for autistic pupils. So she's a really great person to have here talking to us today about ah what support families can get to understand what their rights are, but also how you navigate through the system with as little damage as possible.
00:01:48
Speaker
Hi, Beth. Anything you want to say to introduce yourself? Yeah, and thank you so much for having me here today. It's a wonderful and opportunity to come and talk to you. um As you said, I feel like I've got quite a unique viewpoint on SEND and children.
00:02:02
Speaker
and i have research background and I've worked in the education settings. I have that legal training, which means I can give impartial advice, but I'm
Understanding SEND Support Services
00:02:11
Speaker
also a parent. I'm a parent with neurodiverse children, so I've experienced this situation from lots of different viewpoints, so I hope that will be helpful today.
00:02:21
Speaker
Yeah, I think, I really think that's something that parents I know really, really value is that hearing from other parents that get it. ah So we're gonna spend about 30 minutes today talking about kind of support that's available to parents. And I'm gonna start by saying,
00:02:35
Speaker
um what what kind of advice is out there for parents trying to find their way through the SEND system and kind of what role do those services play in the broader SEND support system?
00:02:50
Speaker
yeah So um there are lots of different areas of support. It's worth talking to your school to see their and access points and and things they can offer. this Every local authority also has SENDIS team, which is a special educational needs and disabilities information and advice service.
00:03:07
Speaker
So every local authority and has something a local offer. And within that is this SENDIS team. And we give free and impartial advice to support parents.
00:03:18
Speaker
And that can be anything from maybe a parent who's got a new diagnosis and isn't sure how to navigate yeah the education system and asking for support from school.
00:03:29
Speaker
It can also be if a parent has applied for an educational health care needs assessment and that's been declined and they need to give you a pill process. So there's a wide range of support that can be given through that service. And I think it's offering its all-in-pultures.
00:03:47
Speaker
Lovely. Anyone in England who needs it can access it and it's for free. Is that right? Absolutely anyone. So it's worth looking at your own local authority's local offer because then it should clearly say what they can offer within that and service. And there'll also be details um to contact. So because each local authority has their own and team, you do need to contact your local team.
00:04:15
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely anyone. It's all free, it's all um impartial and it's all confidential. Lovely stuff. Just to declare an interest, I also used to work for a CNDS service back in the day when they were called PPS services, which gives you an indication as to how old I am.
00:04:32
Speaker
um So ah one of the questions I know parents are going to want to ask is, how are those services funded? um And are they really independent?
00:04:43
Speaker
So that's something we get asked a lot. So they're funded through the local authority because the local authority... to meet their statutory duty has to have a team like us to support parents, which is free and impartial.
00:04:57
Speaker
We often ask about the impartial thing about it because we are funded by the local authority. That can come through lots of different pots and that's very dependent on the need of that local authority. So there's pot of money from health, there could be a pot of money from the education system, maybe a pot of money from and the social care um budget.
00:05:18
Speaker
So and all that money kind of comes down to support and pay for this service. Parents are then concerned because we are employed by the local council about how impartial we are.
00:05:31
Speaker
um But hopefully a little bit of reassurance is that there's no overlap. The teams work really, really hard to be completely separate. So often there's different buildings, there's different entrances, there's no overlap, for example, staff rooms or anything like that.
00:05:47
Speaker
We also have no crossover with databases. So sometimes parents may call and say, you find it where my appeal process is? We can't because there's no
Empowering Parents in Advocacy
00:05:58
Speaker
overlap at all. We are completely separate team though.
00:06:01
Speaker
Yes, it is funded by the local authority because that is their statutory duty to have us. We are completely separate team and we are completely impartial. Lovely stuff.
00:06:13
Speaker
Okay. so um What kind of support can parents and carers expect from Senzia? So there limits to what people can get. So there's limits in a way that because we're impartial, we don't take science. So we wouldn't go to school and say, you should be doing this and and and stepping in that way is that we would empower parents. So we would discuss with the parents what they hope the outcome would be.
00:06:39
Speaker
We would discuss with them what their legal rights are and support the parents to be an advocate for their own child. We also um can support a again in the education healthcare system. So if there's an appeal process, we can support the parents with their options.
00:06:58
Speaker
and If there's an appeal going through, can potentially go to mediation or you can go to tribunal, but we can't make that decision for parents. So we are here to give parents the options help them understand what their rights are and their different parts they can play down, but we can't make that decision for them.
00:07:15
Speaker
It's about empowering the parents. ah One of the things I remember from when I used to do this back in the day is that um we often assume that the schools that we're working with and the local authorities we're working with know the legal guidance really, really well.
00:07:31
Speaker
And often that assumption is actually incorrect. And so I know one of the things that I found myself doing quite a lot ah in meetings was hearing someone really confidently say, this is what we have to do.
00:07:43
Speaker
This is what the law says. And actually I found that big part of my job was to say, well, actually, no, yeah that's what the local authority guidance suggests. The local authority guidance isn't the law.
00:07:57
Speaker
This is the law. And the law trumps the local authority guidance. yeah And that's not necessarily about taking sides. just to reassure parents. This doesn't mean that people aren't going to point out.
00:08:08
Speaker
when your legal rights are not being respected. Actually, that's a big part of what NDSs do, is to do it in a really neutral way. Actually, that's not what the law says. Let me look it up.
00:08:20
Speaker
Here's that what that piece of the law says. And I think that actually can be a really, really useful way of kind of diffusing potentially tricky situations, is to have it not be about you're right, you're wrong, but actually let's go back to actually what the legislation suggests.
00:08:35
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. and and and And you're absolutely right, it's the idea that actually think the Children's Fund was actually 2014 and the Equality Act in 2010 absolutely is the law and overrides any um other policy. And I think that that can absolutely come up in meetings and situations where the school followed their policies quite strictly. And the reality is there's a law there that protects children with special educational needs.
00:09:01
Speaker
and And, and that does need to be followed. And as you said, we can kind of step in and, and help those conversations and help both parties be heard. think that that's quite a big part of what we do is really listening to parents and helping them be heard.
00:09:14
Speaker
Also kind of supporting those school meetings, for example, where if both parties are heard, they're much more beneficial meetings than, um, if one, if one party or the parents, in fact, that they haven't got their point across and really been heard.
00:09:30
Speaker
I couldn't agree more. So um you talked a little bit about the limits of what we can provide. can you Can you talk to me about some of the misconceptions families might have when they first approach a SNDS service?
00:09:48
Speaker
Yeah, so from a practical point of view, the misconceptions are that we can do it for them. Then, like I said, that we would go into a meeting for them and speak for them, or we can make decisions for them.
00:09:59
Speaker
and I really understand where that comes from. If if the parents really lost or really overwhelmed, they want someone to tell them what to do and say, this is your next steps and and being an impartial service, and unfortunately, that's not what Cindy's can do.
00:10:13
Speaker
um The other misconceptions is, we discussed it earlier, but and not being impartial. So sometimes parents can come to us and give little bits of what they need because they're so worried that it'll be passed on to the caseworker or passed back to the school.
00:10:29
Speaker
I think that's a message that I really hope and comes across is we really are impartial and we were the the confidential and confidentiality around centre of service is we would never talk to anyone unless a parent directly says, can you please talk to this professional with me and support me? So there is that protection in that place for parents to come to us and really be open with us and discuss what they need.
00:10:56
Speaker
It is hard, isn't it? It's hard to come to people for advice. really hard it really is and I think where quite often where I find it not listen to and again as a as a parent in this system I will absolutely turn to my to my colleagues and my peers and go you just please help me understand this because when you're in that
Preparing for School Meetings
00:11:15
Speaker
moment and you really need support and not many people listening then to reach out again and reach out another professional say please please help me that can be really hard yeah yeah I mean
00:11:27
Speaker
ah I remember from when I was doing this job that one of the things that I know families found really really frustrating would be the first meeting where I'd be like, can you tell me kind of everything? yeah and there'd be one or two things happens. and And one of the things would be like, no, I've told 110 people if they're not a file you can read.
00:11:43
Speaker
I'm sick of saying the same thing over and over again. Or there'd be this ah feeling like everybody needs to know different things and I don't need to, I don't know what I need to know.
00:11:55
Speaker
So now what have to do is I'm going to work through from the moment of my child's birth through to today with every possible piece of information that you might need. Both of those things are exhausting for parents and they're pretty tiring for us as professionals trying to then pick those things out. Um,
00:12:14
Speaker
And often what I'd find I was hearing as well was about that feeling of kind of having been failed and having been promised things that then weren't delivered. And a real kind of sense of ah of like a terrified hope where people would be like, okay, I want to be able to trust you because I want to be able to put my faith in somebody.
00:12:37
Speaker
But actually I've done this before. And when I've had faith in people, they've let me down. um How do you support families through the fact that actually trusting a professional is hard, but also the process of getting your child's needs met honor is it's different for parents than it is for professionals because professionals care, but professionals don't live in the same home as a child.
00:13:06
Speaker
They haven't poured their love and their hope into a child. That child's future isn't central it. to that to their existence and so there's a real difference there's a real dissonance in the amount of kind of the sense of urgency and the and the depth of importance around getting it right for that child I think that sense of urgency is um such important sentence in in in this conversation because when it's your child absolutely you you are advocating for your child you have them um all the time you see the ups and the downs and
00:13:42
Speaker
every little every little part of that child. And the one thing i would say is parents absolutely are the biggest advocate for their child and they know your child best. I know my children best. Anyone who's listening knows your children best. And that's really hard when you then come across a professional who will have time strengths.
00:14:00
Speaker
They will have potentially school, other children that they're supporting. If there's policy in place or funding issue in place that...
00:14:12
Speaker
It's getting really hard when you have a parent who quite often will come to us in tears, absolutely overwhelmed. No one's listening to me. And there's a child who's really struggling. And then a professional who will come to us and say, I'm doing my best.
00:14:26
Speaker
And I'm really trying to put this support in place and that support in place and how to balance the two. With that, we would never, these are two separate entities, we would never talk to a child and a professional within the same circumstances, obviously without permission, but just that idea of we work with professionals separately and parents separately and really hearing quite often I hear that everyone's trying their best it's very rarely that I come across a professional who's going actually I don't want to do anything quite often it's professional saying I've tried this and tried this and I'm really trying my best and then of course parents who are desperately seeking support for their child to make life just a little bit more
00:15:10
Speaker
it's It's really, really, it's hard stuff. um And so how do we help parents through that? um Have you got any kind of thoughts, um like practical things? what I mean, I have a practical thing that I say um every time, I think. I ah used to do one of these meetings. I've done similar types of meetings since, which is...
00:15:34
Speaker
um If you are about to go into a meeting with a printfa professional, there are two things that are helpful. And the first thing is to do everything you can ahead of the meeting to prepare yourself, both in terms of kind of knowing what it is you want to ask for, but also emotionally.
00:15:55
Speaker
yeah And that can be, is it possible to have a good breakfast? Is it possible to have 10 minutes to yourself?
00:16:06
Speaker
Is it possible to talk to a friend about all of your worries and concerns so that the emotional stuff is kind of dealt with and sorted? um so that you can go in and present yourself in the way that professionals expect you to and it's not fair right it is not fair it's not okay that a parent who's maybe had to get up four times in the night with their child and has been sleeping as though they've had newborn for 15 years and whose child is really distressed because their needs aren't going to be met i has to go into a room with professionals and
00:16:39
Speaker
act as professional as someone who's come into work made a cup of tea at the coffee thing had a little chat with one of their workmates uh you know maybe had a nice quiet commute to work uh that's not okay so like putting all of that prep in but the second thing is is kind of saying where you are when you get into a room and just saying hi i'm gonna do my very best yeah it's like i'm one of you But i just want to let you know, this is really personal to me. I really, really care about it.
00:17:06
Speaker
The other thing that I'd say, which is something that I don't think we acknowledge enough, is that lots of people who work in these fields doing the kind of jobs that are trying to sort out centre provision or that are SENCOs in schools or... um that are kind of working anywhere within that system are working there because they care personally and so while we assume that every professional in that room has had a good night's sleep and gets five weeks of annual leave a year that are uh truly relaxing some of them won't have had that some of them will have had to get up six or seven times in the night with their own child or will have been in hospital overnight with their child and then come into that meeting and be and be having to act professional
00:17:47
Speaker
um I think yeah emotions are coming into the room is so important. and Exactly, as you said, there's two things. It's that being in the room, remember we're all humans.
00:18:00
Speaker
Everyone's human. And I found this whether I've sat in a professional seat, an impartial seat or a parent seat. if If we just realise that everyone's a human and everyone's come with lots of stuff, I'm sure, behind that's been locked away to walk into that room.
00:18:13
Speaker
As I said, you come in, you say hello. Try and present a calmness that helps from a very human like ah human point of view and that kind of trying stop the meeting with a calm stance.
00:18:27
Speaker
From a practical point of view, treat it as you said, like a professional meeting. Try really hard to leave the emotion outside. That doesn't mean completely outside. ah as a parent, have cried in a meeting when had just gone, this is such a lot and that's okay.
00:18:44
Speaker
It's completely i okay to go, actually, I just need a moment. going to breathe and continue. And that's okay. If we can try our best to go in as a professional meeting. I say write notes.
00:18:55
Speaker
So taking notepad, this is what I'd like to discuss, is my main point. It really helps keep the focus of the meeting. These meetings are often half an hour. Sometimes they can be in face-to-face. Sometimes they're online.
00:19:08
Speaker
like They can be quite short and sweet. It's that moment of not walking away thinking, and bother wanted to talk about this and actually forgot and i talked about this this where the conversation went you can have some really clear guidance to what you want to discuss think that really helps and then at the beginning of the meeting say always recommend to say take some notes and do a follow-up email same at the beginning of the meeting i'm just going to writing down some notes and i'll follow up with an email after and it just helps and the parent be clear what's being said and also it means you can follow up saying
00:19:42
Speaker
I said I would do this, you said you would do this, this is when we're going to have that review meeting. And having all those kind of prep notes and things in front of you would really help.
Importance of Communication in SEND
00:19:53
Speaker
And the third thing I'd mention is if you want support from an impartial team, let them know ahead of time, give them as much notice as possible. and and know the team I work with would do their best to move on diaries and really fit everyone in.
00:20:05
Speaker
But if a meeting is booked for two weeks time rather than a few days time, there's much more chance of having support in that meeting. um while they leave it last minute. Yeah.
00:20:17
Speaker
um My other little tip for meetings, it's not as relevant anymore because so many of them happen like this online, ah was we used to say get yourself a copy of the guidance for parents, print it out,
00:20:31
Speaker
her post it like ideally read it and know it right but if you don't have time to read it and know it make that copy look like it's been read and know because actually there's something about just saying just i'm just coming in here and just want you to know that i can reference the legal guidance yeah absolutely and you just reminded me um i was absolutely the parent that would go and stack the policies and guidance because it's exactly one Obviously I've only studied it because of my work, but also it made be able to go, I just pause there? Can I just check something? And that's okay too. This meeting is is a mutual meeting.
00:21:09
Speaker
So it's okay for the parents to say, actually, can we just pause there? Can I check something? Or I pause there? I don't quite understand that. Can you direct me to where that is in policy or where that is in guidance?
00:21:21
Speaker
Because one, it's it shows that you understand you're doing your best to understand and it does slow the meeting down to be able to really go okay let's just pause let's check this that's fine let's carry on yeah when when you're saying you have to can you just show me where it says that in in the legislation yeah like that's not a challenging question that's that i just want i really want to understand this really helpful thing okay actually think sorry i should say that sentence is delivered is lovely i just want to understand this because and Can you just clarify that so I fully understand?
00:21:54
Speaker
it's it It shows that me that mutual want to work together. It's not a show me that quality because I disagree. It's help me understand. And yeah actually that that mutual discussion, that mutual understanding will help going forward.
00:22:09
Speaker
Yeah, and on a really practical point also, if someone's using a piece of legislation in one way and you believe that its intent was to be used a different way, knowing which piece of legislation they're hanging that decision on so that you can go away and ask ah your local sendy-out service or like ask Ipsy, is this right?
00:22:26
Speaker
It's really helpful. whereas Whereas if all you've got is a vague vibe that this is what people think is a vague vibe is really hard so challenge um and to and to make change around.
00:22:38
Speaker
Okay, so um
00:22:42
Speaker
if I'm a parent, and I know that I need some advice, because I know I'm about to go start my way into this system. So I'm just going to imagine that I'm that my kids in reception. Yeah, and it's not going well.
00:22:58
Speaker
And that more than one person I've come across has said, you might want to think about getting some additional help in the classroom. And I'm thinking, okay, I'm going to pick up the phone. I'm going to call my local Sendia service.
00:23:12
Speaker
What preparation should I do to make that first call as helpful as possible? So in that situation, I would first call school and speak to the same code, find out what sport is in place at school already.
00:23:25
Speaker
and Are they on the special educational needs register? and Is there any extra support in place or about to be in place? Have school said, okay, we're doing this, but actually this is coming up.
00:23:36
Speaker
I'd get that advice from school first, because once you contact us, that's likely to be the first thing we ask. What is already in place? if you have a real understanding of the support in place at school. So I'd do that first.
00:23:50
Speaker
I'd also really think about your child and what they need. So it's really helpful helpful for a send-just service if a parent goes, okay, this is what support's in place now. This is what I think my child needs.
00:24:02
Speaker
and and And that could be simple as they're struggling to go into school or they're being quite well overwhelmed in the class. Even that kind of general idea, it really helps and us go, okay, so we you know what school are doing.
00:24:16
Speaker
We know what you want. These are your possible next steps. Saying that, sometimes parents can be so overwhelmed by all of it that we do get phone calls and and that's fine too just to discuss through and give them those tips to say okay go back go back and speak to school have this chat with the senko or the primary school teacher or whoever it is that's the most appropriate person to touch base with and then come back to us and that's absolutely fine too is to go away and and come back as many times as it's needed
00:24:49
Speaker
Lovely stuff. Have you got any tips about making the most of the advice and advocacy you get from a SENDAS service? um I'd say write it down. is and As we're having the conversations, write it down. Ask for a follow-up email. We do lots of follow-up emails that say, this is this is what we discussed. Again, as we discussed that in the meetings, having really clear guidance and next steps is really helpful.
00:25:14
Speaker
um And then feeling free to come back. Come back as many times as you like it's it's we understand that it's a lot the law is such a big part of the send world and and your child's education and um as is the pill processes and all and all these kind of things so feel free to use us come and see us speak to us do that prep beforehand go away and then keep coming back it's um the joy the service is because it's free and it's impartial, you can come back as many times as as you like to move talk things through and to really understand um that process.
00:25:51
Speaker
And then if you have school meetings, if you if you're in ah as you go along the process, again, come back and ask for support. um Each sender service will discuss with you how they can however they can support and what that looks like, whether you email in and ask for support it's a phone call, but all those kinds of things, come back and ask for support.
00:26:10
Speaker
earlier rather later um i think that's much more beneficial for parents lovely stuff okay so um i've got a couple more questions before we finish up this bit of thing and one of them is about this is kind of slightly changing the lens on this because so far this has basically been a podcast for parents i think it's always useful to have something to share with professionals as well um And I wanted to ask you, in your experience, what makes the biggest difference in helping a family feel empowered and heard?
00:26:45
Speaker
Both from your service, but also from um schools. If we've got teachers listening to this, if we've got people in the local authority listening. What is it that they can do that supports and maintains a good relationship with families rather than making it feel really combative, which this process really can feel?
00:27:05
Speaker
So I'm smiling because saying that because there's one thing, it's communication. 100% communication. So if a parent has come to see you as a professional and you're the wrong professional, email back and say, actually it's not me, but but let me refer you on to the right person. So whether that's a school process, maybe you've gone to a primary school teacher or second school teacher and they say, actually it's head of year or it's SENCO, communicate that back to them.
00:27:31
Speaker
If you're in a piece of work with the parent and you're going to be off, and obviously I don't mean being off sick, like these last minute things, but if you know you've got a day of meetings coming up or you've got some time off or there's something else coming up, just communicate that with the parents. Thank you so much for your email.
00:27:47
Speaker
I'm aware that XYZ is doing, I can actually miss next week. Because in those boundaries around supports in place and the relationship really helps if a parent then is at home thinking emailed two days ago and nothing's come back.
00:28:04
Speaker
If I've got an email saying, thank you for email, I'll actually it next week. The parent would go, great, it's in hand, it's been actioned, we can pop this down and pick it up next week. And I think sometimes the lack of communication is the biggest thing I hear as a professional, both through impartial work and through private work, is is always a lack of communication is the biggest thing for people relationships breaking down and it's quite a simple thing to pick up and keep those relationships going well.
00:28:36
Speaker
And there's some really simple tools that that professionals just don't use that would be so helpful to everyone involved. So I'm always banging on about the joy that is automatic email replies. thank you.
00:28:48
Speaker
can set up an automatic email reply that says, you know what, ah we get a high volume of emails every day, we work through them in order. Sometimes it can take us five working days to respond.
00:29:01
Speaker
Please don't send another email and unless something is materially changed for five days. But after five days, feel free to send a chaser to remind us. those sorts of Because what that also does is it stops.
00:29:14
Speaker
I've spoken to so many professionals over my time who found themselves really frustrated because they're this parent keeps emailing me. And once talk it through, I'm like, yeah, they keep emailing you because as far as they're concerned, they've sent an email off into the ether and it's just disappeared into the smoke and nothing is happening.
00:29:32
Speaker
And you haven't communicated to them that normally it takes you seven days to respond. And so they're just following up and that's completely natural. And that kind of weird, like tension builds in a relationship, not because anybody's done anything wrong, but because nobody's set their boundaries.
00:29:49
Speaker
Absolutely. I think boundaries in communication are the biggest thing for any relationship, but especially when these relationships can, some um go smoothly, but lots don't, is if you have those boundaries about the right person to contact, so you aren't sending emails or trying to phone the wrong person.
00:30:07
Speaker
um And if you can have that communication, the bounce, as you said, the bounce back email is so easy ping back. Or if you're working with with a parent that you're directly working with, a quick email to say,
00:30:18
Speaker
Thank you so much. Actually, things have changed this week. I'll pick it up next week. That's OK. And it's OK for the professional to kind of look their workload and go, actually, I can't i can't fit obviously in all this in. for example, in a school, an emergency is coming that needs to be kind of moved around. it's By communicating with the parent, it's not saying your child no longer matters or your child isn't as important as X, Y, Z. It's just saying, I've got it.
00:30:43
Speaker
I'm on this. I can hear you. It's that. I can hear you. And I will respond on this date. And then for professionals, please respond on that date. It really helps. That is the important thing.
00:30:55
Speaker
Those boundaries are only any good if you actually live up to the promises that you made. The other thing that I think is really interesting just before we move on is around statutory guidance around kind of how long things should take.
00:31:06
Speaker
And ah the statutory guidance exists and it's clear And many, many parents will tell you that things don't happen in that timescale. And many, many professionals will tell you the same thing.
00:31:21
Speaker
um And I think that there's a really tricky thing that can happen there where you get your professionals who don't have any control over their workload trying to hit that thing. Parents trying to quite rightly have their legal rights.
00:31:34
Speaker
absolutely And that basically that professional being squeezed in the middle. And the thing I would always encourage any professional to do is if you think you can't get something done within the amount of time that the statutory guidance says it needs to be done, you need to be communicating that in two directions.
00:31:53
Speaker
You need to be telling parent you're working with I'm really sorry, I don't think we're going to hit the statutory guidance on this one. And expect them to then defend their statutory rights, because that's the right thing for them to do But you also need to be talking to the people who manage resources within your department to say, i am now at risk of not being able to hit this statutory guideline because of a lack of resources.
00:32:18
Speaker
And actually, what you should be considering is any complaint that a parent then makes about that not being hit. as supportive action, because actually that's all a case for what resources need to go in, in order for this process to be expedited quickly.
00:32:33
Speaker
Because those statutory guidance, they don't exist for no reason. While we're waiting to work out how we're supporting a kid in school, that kid isn't getting the right support in school.
00:32:43
Speaker
They're falling forward further behind than they need to. um But I think there's something really important about knowing where the blame sits for that. And it might be occasionally that it sits with an incompetent professional, but it's more likely, more common that what it sits with is a professional who's massively overloaded.
Advocating for Your Child's Needs
00:33:01
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. And and yeah, I fully agree with that. It's the thing I said earlier is is is mostly professionals want to do their best.
00:33:13
Speaker
and and And as you said earlier, professionals come into this field to work with children, to work with families, to work special educational needs. Because they want to, there's a value there and they want to do the right thing. But as you said, it goes on miss it comes down to that communication then on both ways, whether that's in the local authority or within school.
00:33:31
Speaker
you're going to miss something that you said you'd do, whether it's a statutory requirement with timescales or in a school and you said you put support in, communicate it. Communicate to the parents. And I said, communicate it up.
00:33:43
Speaker
to those who need to be aware that this is going on and it's with that communication that the best support can be put in place for the child and the parent. Okay. I'm going to ask you a question that wasn't on our list right now because I realised we haven't naturally come around to it and I thought we would earlier.
00:33:59
Speaker
And it's this. It's, ah I know that a load of the parents listening to this aren't listening to it because they're interested in generic send-y-ass stuff. they've got one burning question, which is in my local authority, if I say the words PDA, the local authority are going to go we don't think that's the thing.
00:34:20
Speaker
And it's going to shut down ah my request for help for my child. And we want you to find a place in here where you could explain how it is decided whether or not a child needs something because it's not about diagnosis, is it?
00:34:34
Speaker
It's not about a diagnosis. Absolutely, it's not about a diagnosis. so if that happens, it's about your child's needs. So my child needs this extra support because of X, Y, Z. My child is struggling here.
00:34:48
Speaker
because of X, Y, Z, so it could be being overwhelmed in the class, it could be, I said earlier, starting to into school. and It's not about a diagnosis, it's not about piece of paper, you can say, look, it's on this piece paper it says, it's absolutely about the need of the child and from a parent and the parents are listening, um it's about evidencing.
00:35:09
Speaker
that need. My child is missing school. This is their attendance rate. They're missing school because of this, because this isn't in place. But absolutely it not about the diagnosis. And I speak to lots of parents with lots of different disabilities and neurodiversity, and I was speaking to a peer who has child of PDA, and they were saying that it can sometimes, she felt it could sometimes reflect on on her, that she then felt we she had to go very quiet because She didn't have a diagnosis, let's say PGA.
00:35:40
Speaker
And it was about her explaining her child. So she was showing with me that she has a particular book that she feels explains it really clearly. And she can pass that on to teachers and say, look, this book really clearly explains PGA and I'm asking for help.
00:35:57
Speaker
and And even going with other professionals, this book really clearly explains my child. My child has extra needs. It doesn't matter it if it's in a diagnosis. My child has extra needs.
00:36:08
Speaker
Please read this and it will help you understand my child. And hopefully that will be enough to go forward. But no, absolutely, you do not need a diagnosis. I'll be shouting from the rooftops. You don't need to diagnose. It's fact not what the legislation is based on.
00:36:21
Speaker
So as a parent of a PDA, and what you might be seeing in school is that your child is going into school. You can't get them over the door. That's great evidence that they need extra help. Absolutely. Yeah. That's your child is masking furiously all day at school. But when you pick them up, they have a massive meltdown. That is great evidence that they need something.
00:36:42
Speaker
That your child is just taking the decision to walk out of classes, is lying on the floor during lessons with their hands over their ears to try and kind of just shut out some of the sensory input.
00:36:53
Speaker
All of those things. that's about Relationships in schools. They're not they're not doing the tasks that are asked of them. All of the things that you're that the teachers may be telling you they're finding frustrating about teaching your child.
00:37:06
Speaker
Yeah. Those things are evidence. They are. and and And that's where, again, I say write things down. So keep a diary. And again, I say this knowing that parents, and I've been that parent myself thinking, I can't do one more thing. It's really hard.
00:37:20
Speaker
If you can, jot down notes of your phone. Just keep a note of it. If you have the time and li ability and the communication with school, send an email. Someone said, came out of school today they were really dysregulated and I'm just letting you know. Actually, when we got home, it had a meltdown, but all's fine.
00:37:37
Speaker
now or actually it's not fine and this is what I've had to do in place. It does two things. One, it keeps you in communication with school about what's going on and it gives you an excellent track of evidence to say I'm communicating with school, I'm telling them that we need extra support.
00:37:53
Speaker
It doesn't matter, there's not a diagnosis. All this evidence here is saying that they need support. And again, if school are phoning you saying that that your child has had that thing where they've come out, they're so overstimulated by the class, it's all too much.
00:38:07
Speaker
If they've phoned you, ask them to pop it in an email. do you mind just emailing that across to me? Because again, it's evidence for you. But also it means you can track when these things are happening. So we're slightly going off piece now, but I'll just finish. You can kind track what's happening. So is it certain lessons?
00:38:23
Speaker
Is it certain times of the day? And actually that corresponds with the school, that evidence. As a parent, then you can say, oh, maybe it's a case of there's certain teachers and certain classes and certain rooms that are tricky.
00:38:36
Speaker
Or you can go, actually, you know what, there's a swimming lesson the night before, or we're up late that night before, or the big sibling goes to Scouts and comes home late. Is that then a knock-on effect?
00:38:47
Speaker
And that really helps the communication by saying to school, I'm looking at my home life, as well as looking at school life, and how can we bring this together support
Utilizing PDA Society Resources
00:38:55
Speaker
the child? and Sorry, slightly off pace, but... and aeltles so use So, so useful.
00:39:01
Speaker
um yeah the other thing that i always want to say to parents is that it's possible to find yourself in a situation where you've identified your child as a pda and you've worked out what things help your child and when someone says to you we don't accept PDA, that not only feels like a massive, massive loss for you in terms of, oh my goodness, and my right's not going to be protected.
00:39:24
Speaker
And I think what we've reassured you here is that then your rights are not connected to diagnosis at all. But the second thing that you can feel like is that your child's identity is being denied and you have to fight for people.
00:39:36
Speaker
And what I would always say there is, don't worry about doing that, that's our job. That's Society's job, it's our job to kind of make the case that um that it's important to recognize PDA. It's our job to do those sorts of things. Your job as a parent is to be like, okay, do I need to convince somebody about this profile of autism's validity?
00:40:01
Speaker
Or do I just need to get them to get my child a little bit more? And I would always say forget the wider campaign issue for now.
00:40:12
Speaker
Might find it more useful and that you get less resistance if rather than saying my child's a PDA or so, you say, I've noticed. that certain types of demands create a resistance in my child and that it shows in these kind of behaviors, which I'm finding tricky and I'm sure you're finding tricky too.
00:40:32
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. These are the things that work for us at home. can't give it away. We can convert that into school life. I think that's really important. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I fully agree with that. It's all about your child and your individual with child. I think the beautiful thing about neurodiversity is that everyone's individual and I think when we kind of think about our children and their kind pathway with that, it can really help. So fight for your child, advocate for your child.
00:40:59
Speaker
And as you said, PGA Society to kind of do that bigger general knowledge on understanding that. One thing I would say with that is, talk to a professional, say, have you looked at the PGA Society?
00:41:15
Speaker
It may really help in a really common kind of collaborative way. this may really help. And I know as a professional, i I absolutely don't know everything about you know diversity or about kind of the system.
00:41:27
Speaker
And I love it when a parent will say to me, have you seen this? And I'll go, oh no, let me let me have a look. So maybe not everyone will take it that way, but there's definitely professionals out there that will say, yes, thank you so much sharing that with me.
00:41:38
Speaker
That really helps. Yeah, and we've got a lovely section for educators that talk about kind of how to how to think about PDA and how PDA can present in the classroom. So there is information there that's free and available as well as training and consultancy.
00:41:53
Speaker
um I really love this chat. Thank you very much, Beth. ah Just to finish up. um
00:42:01
Speaker
Where remind me where parents look if they want to find um advice and information. They want to know what their local sender service is that sort of thing. Yeah, so go to your own local authorities local offer.
00:42:13
Speaker
So it'll all be on your your local authorities page. There'll be a send page and and there'll be a local offer and that will have your sender's team's contact details and also what your local authority are offering.
00:42:25
Speaker
Lovely stuff. Thank you very much.
00:42:30
Speaker
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00:42:43
Speaker
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