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SIs get out of your comfort zone
100 Plays2 years ago
In this episode i share my big scary move from a small town in Tennessee to San Diego and how that whole experienced rocked me to my core. It was the first time i had really stepped into my discomfort zone and the level of growth and breakthrough that followed that move has sent me on a journey to find other ways i can break the day to day routine and make sure i don't live the same year over and over again. It's time to do something bis sis, your breakthrough is on the other side.
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Transcript
Awareness and Stretching for Breakthroughs
00:00:01
Speaker
I want awareness to be brought into this area of your life that if you feel yourself coasting and not getting stretchy, then it is time to kick it into high gear. If you want that next level of breakthrough, it's time to do something. It's time to get out of your comfort zone.
00:00:21
Speaker
Listen sis, if you're not on fire for your life right now, then I am not okay with that. Better is possible.
Josie's Introduction as a Mindset Coach
00:00:28
Speaker
I'm Josie Soriano, a mindset coach, and I'll be your big sister, boldly speaking life, wisdom, challenge, and truth into you so you can get better one percent at a time. Together we'll ditch perfectionism for progress and dismiss complacency with fearless finesse.
00:00:46
Speaker
We'll be talking about mindset, motherhood, femininity, and faith with practical tips and tricks to help you follow through. If you're not in love with your life right now, tune into today's episode and I promise you'll know how to take it from there.
Moving to California: A Leap Out of Comfort Zone
00:01:01
Speaker
Wow, this episode is going to be so awesome because I love telling this story and I love being able to paint a picture of the importance of stepping out of your comfort zone. So I can't wait to tell you guys my story on moving from Chattanooga to Tennessee
00:01:19
Speaker
the East Coast all the way as far as you could possibly go to California, to the West Coast. I mean, it was truly stepping out of my comfort zone was like, that was it. That was so scary and such a big leap. And it has been so monumental in my life that I absolutely must share it and just really
00:01:44
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open a new perspective to you. What can happen when you agree to step out of your comfort zone? There's always breakthrough on the other side. And that's so cool because we know what we need to do to get breakthrough. It's just, are we bold enough to do it?
00:02:03
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And maybe nobody's ever told you that you need to step out of your comfort zone.
Understanding and Leaving Comfort Zones
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Speaker
Maybe you're like, what the heck is a comfort zone? How do I know when I'm in my comfort zone and how do I know when I'm stepping out? And that's what I want to help you with today. We hear about comfort zones. We hear that we need to get out of them. We hear that that's where the fruit is and that we need to stretch ourselves.
00:02:25
Speaker
Do we ever stop and wonder, have you ever actually done that? And I'm sure you have as you're listening to this. You have done something hard. You have put yourself in a stretchy situation. If you really sink and look back over the course of your life, there's something there that you did. Give yourself some credit, sis. But maybe you haven't done it lately.
Trusting Yourself Amidst Complacency
00:02:47
Speaker
And I want to be the one to tell you to really drive home because I care about your growth, that it is time for you to do that again. You will know by learning to trust yourself and your decision making when you're getting comfortable. Comfortable is when you are doing the same thing every day. You are complacent. You're going the same places. Your workout is looking the same.
00:03:15
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you are just coasting because maybe you're making good money. Maybe you're making more money than you ever have. Maybe you are a stay-at-home mom and you don't have a strict schedule. So you're just kind of doing all these things, but you're not really getting stretchy. You're not really stretching yourself and doing something that is going to require a level of boldness and bravery from you. Maybe you're not doing that right now.
00:03:41
Speaker
And we don't always need to be stepping out of our comfort zone because then we can put ourselves in high stress situations, which some people love. That's where some people grow. So we don't always need to be doing that, right? But I want you to have awareness. I want awareness to be brought into this area of your life that if you feel yourself coasting and not getting stretchy,
00:04:06
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then it is time to kick it into high gear. If you want that next level of breakthrough, it's time to do something. It's time to get out of your comfort zone. So I'm going to tell you my story of one of the biggest steps out of my comfort zone that I could have ever made.
Love Story: Meeting on Instagram
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And as I'm telling this story, if you're driving, of course, don't. But if you're in a place where you have a notebook, take out your notebook and write down anything that comes up for you.
00:04:34
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Maybe I say something and it really resonates with you. And maybe you start getting divine downloads on a move that you need to make for the next level of your life or hitting your next level. So I started dating my husband. It's like how far back in the story do we want to go? Me and my husband, we have a wonderful, wonderful story. We met on Instagram. We had been friends for five years.
00:04:59
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And one day we ended up connecting and exchanging phone numbers and it went from there. I ended up going out to California. We were boyfriend and girlfriend before I ever even met him. We had never met.
00:05:14
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and we were already boyfriend and girlfriend. I flew out to California to meet him, stayed for a few days, and we were engaged six months later. We moved very fast. Because of John's job, he's out here in San Diego, it just made sense for the kind of life that we wanted to create, which was me staying at home and raising our two, at the time, one boys. But I knew that I wanted to stay at home
00:05:44
Speaker
He wanted me to do what I wanted to do, but he too, we have the same values as mom stays at home, mom is the main influence, child rearing, taking care of the home, preparing the meals, good healthy meals, making sure that the house is running like a business because it is a business.
00:06:06
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And in order for us to do that quickly, like we wanted, it made sense for me to move to California because that's where his job is. And so that was a really... I was excited, but I was also like, wow.
00:06:22
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I mean, you have to understand, up until this point, I had never even been on an airplane. Visiting John was the first time that I had ever even been on an airplane. I had been in Chattanooga my whole life. I grew up there. My whole family is there.
Emotional Challenges of Relocation
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All of my cousins, all of my... I mean, just everything I know, all of my friends, all of my memories are all within the same 30-minute radius.
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And not only would I be moving, but I would be moving as far west as you could go in the United States.
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And oh, by the way, I'm taking my nine-month-old son, he was about a year at the time, away from my family, away from his father and his father's family. There was a lot of pressure other than just moving to California. It was so hard. It was one of the hardest things that I've been through.
00:07:21
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And so there was a lot of grief, there was a lot of tears, there was a lot of emotions that came with me moving cross-country away from everything I had ever known and into a marriage with someone that I hadn't been dating that long. We had a very quick engagement and he
00:07:40
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became a dad at the time. He became a father figure, a step-parent and a husband all at the same time. So there was a lot of moving pieces. And I made the move and I came out here and I took a risk to start a life that was separate from everything that I have ever known.
Embracing New Beginnings and Growth
00:08:08
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And so right here, I just want to say that there is power in starting something new. There's power in getting out of what we call the matrix. Do something different. Do something that requires so much boldness that it is truly scary to you. And at the time, I did not understand just how
00:08:38
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monumental this move was going to be because I was tied up in the emotions of it. I was just in the thick of it. It was hard. I was arguing with people, my family, I was arguing with my son's father. There were just so many disagreements.
00:08:56
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And I didn't know at the time that me making this move was exactly what I needed to be pushed into the next level of Josie. Because if you want to have different results in your life, if you are sick of living paycheck to paycheck, if you are sick of having the problems in your marriage that you have, I'm not in love with my husband. All we do is take care... If you are sick,
00:09:24
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of living the same day over and over and living the same challenges and the same patterns over and over, you have to do something different. It's absolutely necessary. And not only different, but big. High risk, high reward. The higher the risk, the more you are willing to do. The more you're willing to risk, the more you're willing to gamble. The higher the return is going to be.
00:09:54
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in doing something like moving from Tennessee to California, which I'm not saying I recommend anybody moving. Although I certainly do believe that it is an experience that I do think people should have because it forces you to grow in a way that you would never put yourself in.
00:10:12
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in your hometown. But I'm not encouraging anyone to move because it was a very stressful situation. And it is a very big gamble moving. So I'm not encouraging anyone to do that. But for me,
00:10:28
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The growth that happened, I would do it a thousand times over because who I am now, the woman that I am, the mother that I am is not the same woman. I'm not the same mother.
00:10:45
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not the same person that I was when I came into California. Being in a place where I don't have Sam Lee, I was making new friends. I have so many wonderful friends here, but at the time they were all new to me.
00:10:59
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I didn't have my mom right down the road to just go take my kid and, hey, mom, I want to go get my nails done or go to the gym or go hang out or go have dinner with my friends. There was none of that. I was completely on my own with my husband, raising a child while he went to work.
00:11:16
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And I had been in a salon. I had been working like six days a week for a long time. I wasn't used to being at home. I wasn't used to not making money. I wasn't used to not being able to financially provide for my family. My worth was tied up in money. And transitioning into being at home, being a full-time mother, it's shown me that my worth has nothing to do with money.
Stay-at-Home Motherhood and Growth
00:11:43
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that I am completely enough who I am and how important the work that I do is as a stay-at-home mother. It's so important. And I've just had so many revelations. I've just had so much poured into me coming out here. I got to step into my husband's network.
00:12:06
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He is an excellent businessman and I got to step into what he has been sewing into for years. So I've been mentored. I've got an opportunity to sit under people's teaching that most people will never get to do.
00:12:25
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And I've learned so much and I've learned so many new skills and I'm so much tougher. I'm so much tougher. My capacity is stretched. My bandwidth is stretched. Things that used to be impossible for me or seem impossible now, I do seamlessly. I've become a coach. I needed a coach when I got here.
00:12:51
Speaker
I was having trouble regulating my emotions and I needed someone to help me so I hired one and I love that work so much that I became a coach. I wanted to help other women sift the gold out of them.
00:13:05
Speaker
I'm resourceful. I have to be. I know how to draw my resources together and make things happen. I can get so creative with my schedule. I work out in between nap times. I know how to hire people. Right now, I'm doing a podcast while my child sleeps. The conditions don't have to be perfect and I've learned that since I've been here because it's not an option. There have been times when it's survival.
00:13:32
Speaker
I've learned how to outsource things so that I can focus on the things that matter in my lives. When I came out here, I really got to observe what abundance mindset looks like. And I've learned all of these new skills on how to really... It's like cheat codes at life since I've been out here. And I really do believe that the Lord rewards those who step out and say,
00:14:00
Speaker
I really do believe that God has rewarded me because I stepped out when so many people did not want me to. And they're not bad people. They love me and they care so much about me and couldn't imagine life without me. And I get that. But for me, it just felt very hard. And so because there was so much, it was such a crushing season for me and I endured it. I
00:14:28
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endured it. And it was really hard at times and I thought about going back a lot. But I just held on to the faith that it was going to be worth it. I believed in my heart that moving cross country, starting a life with my new husband who I knew God had for me.
00:14:49
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and taking the leap of faith that God was going to grow me in a new container. He was going to pull me up from my original home and he was going to plant me in a fertile land. But it took so much faith to do that.
00:15:05
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And I'm telling you, if you have the faith, if there's something on your heart and you have the faith, you need to go pursue it. You need to go do it. I don't care how scary it feels. I don't care what other people are saying. Obviously, listen to wisdom and to sound judgment.
00:15:24
Speaker
You need to have mentors in your life that are pouring into you so that when you do want to make a big move like this and it feels scary that you get wise counsel and not saying go out there and do something absolutely irresponsible. But it's time to do something big. It's time to step into a level that you wouldn't normally step into.
00:15:44
Speaker
And so my whole reasoning for wanting to tell my story was because I want to bring awareness that you have the ability to stretch your life and to create the life that you want. You will hear me say this so many times if you've listened to my show and if you hang out with me on Instagram, I'm all about creating your own reality. And this is something that you and God will be doing until the end of your days.
00:16:10
Speaker
It's so hard when we have been programmed to just follow and accept that the why that we live the way that we live is because it's just what the universe has dealt us. It's not true. And so if you are stuck
00:16:27
Speaker
in the same patterns, the same lives, if you're fed up, if you're sick of not living your rich life, if you're sick of not having time with your children, if you're sick of not having enough money, if you're sick of not being able to go on vacations when you want, then I'm telling you, you're going to have to do something bold. You're going to have to do something different. You're going to have to think outside of the box.
00:16:48
Speaker
You're going to have to get up out of the house and you're going to have to go out and you're going to have to do something that scares the heck out of you. And when you do, you will get breakthrough. There will be breakthrough on the other side, but most people do not
00:17:06
Speaker
have it in them to go do something uncomfortable because when we're in something uncomfortable, we don't want to subject ourselves to something that we think is going to hurt us or be uncomfortable.
Growth in Marriage Through Discomfort
00:17:16
Speaker
We want to be comfortable all the time because it's comfortable.
00:17:21
Speaker
but that is not where you're going to grow. That is not where you're going to grow. When I'm talking to people about one-on-one coaching and price comes up and I've talked to people who are like, well, that's just too much. And I'm like, well, if you keep buying $15 personal development courses, you're going to have a $15 education. You're going to have a $15 mindset. And I'm not saying that $15 courses aren't good, but I'm saying if you want to step into a new level of growth,
00:17:48
Speaker
You're going to have to be willing to step into a discomfort zone of producing money, of paying for personal development, of going to a marriage getaway for your marriage. You're going to have to take some money away from your going out to eat money and invest it in your marriage. Stop griping about your marriage if you're not willing to go to therapy. And if you are going to therapy and therapy doesn't work, is it the therapy or is it you?
00:18:15
Speaker
Because if you are really committed to growth, if somebody comes at me and we're having a conversation about marriage and they are griping about their marriage and how their husband's doing this and their husband's doing that, he doesn't do this. The first question I'm going to ask is who's pouring into you?
00:18:36
Speaker
Another question that I'm going to ask is, are you guys going to couples therapy? No. Have you guys been to any marriage retreat? No. Do you guys sit and read books together? No. Do you guys sit and stare each other in the eyes? No.
00:18:52
Speaker
Do you guys play any kind of couples games to connect? There has to be a level of ownership. If you're in a marriage where you don't feel in love with your partner, what are you more committed to not being in love with your partner? Or are you more committed to finding a way to get back in love with them? That is going to be uncomfortable.
00:19:15
Speaker
So when I say getting out of your comfort zone, it's not just moving across the country. It's doing things like that. It's being the one in the marriage to go first. If you're a woman who thinks that your husband needs to always be pursuing you, one way that you could get out of your comfort zone is you can go pursue him. How is that going to get me out of my comfort zone, Josie? Because you're going to step out of your ego and you're going to serve your husband and pursue him.
00:19:45
Speaker
and do that over and over and over again, you're going to desire him because you're training yourself to do that. It's easy to say, well, I'm just going to wait here until you pursue me because I'm the woman. It says you better go create the life you want. You better go create the sex life you want. You better stop waiting on him to make a move.
00:20:05
Speaker
stepping into your comfort zone looks different. It doesn't have to be, like I said, moving across the country. It can be doing something in your life that there is resistance around. So that's my first question for you.
00:20:17
Speaker
As I'm talking, what areas are coming up for you right now and what areas in your life are you experiencing resistance in? Maybe you have a business and you have plateaued and it's not growing. When is the last time that you stepped out of your comfort zone in your business? Maybe you're a parent and you're feeling a lot of resistance in your parenting. When is the last time that you've stepped out of your comfort zone in your parenting?
00:20:46
Speaker
Maybe it's your mindset. Maybe you know that you have a bad mindset. When is the last time that you stepped out of your comfort zone and you invested in yourself? What areas are coming up for you right now that you know you are feeling called to step into your discomfort zone? What version of you is on the other side of your breakthrough?
00:21:15
Speaker
And listen, here's the thing about growth.
00:21:19
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It's always going to be uncomfortable because you have never been there before. You've never been there before. You don't know what you're doing. So it's going to be weird. It's going to be clunky. It's going to be wonky at first. And this is a concept that I wish more married people would understand. It took me some time to understand this. Like when the two of you are newly married, you don't know what you're doing. You've never been there before.
00:21:48
Speaker
So give yourself grace. It's uncomfortable because you don't know what you're doing, but here's the thing about staying in the game. Here is the thing about constantly stepping into your discomfort zone and really doing things that are going to push you emotionally, that push you spiritually. I'm talking about the moments where you want to give up. Those are the stretchy moments that if you can just
00:22:16
Speaker
endure until the morning, you will see that your capacity is stretched. And so the next time it happens, it's not going to hit you quite the same way because your capacity is stretched. You've been here before. So you're going to be able to navigate it. The next go around a little bit easier. And so here's what happens when we start talking about confidence. How do I become more confident? What is the secret to confidence? You do something
00:22:45
Speaker
And you see that you doing it didn't kill you. And then you do it again. And then you go do it again. And then you go do it again and again and again and again and again. And you continue to have this dance with yourself where you're pushing yourself to do something. You do it. You may not do it the way that you want, but you now have the belief that you are capable of doing it. And you start to build trust with yourself.
00:23:13
Speaker
You start to build this trust with yourself and because you trust yourself, you radiate differently. You are confident because you're like, I've done that before. Yeah, it was hard, but it didn't kill me. You have this confidence to you because you're a risk taker.
00:23:35
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and you trust yourself. You trust yourself to take the jump. And even if you don't succeed, you trust that you're going to grow from it. And when it comes to stepping out of your comfort zone, you're going to be unsure. It's going to feel like it's the wrong decision.
00:23:55
Speaker
You're going to fail along the way. You're going to get emotional along the way. Your heart's going to race. You're going to probably feel some anxiety along the way. But don't let the unknown stop you from progressing forward. This is a muscle. And once you start working this muscle of doing uncomfortable things,
00:24:18
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Once you start working that muscle and working it and working it, it starts to become a habit. And then you start to gain what we call momentum.
00:24:29
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okay, I'm gonna go do this hard thing and then I'm gonna go do this hard thing. That's why you see people who have built multiple businesses because they stepped out and did something hard and they saw that they could do it and boom, they did it again and they did it again. And they got so much momentum from it that it's just this snowball effect, but it all starts with the decision to step out of your comfort zone, stop being the same person that you were yesterday, change the diet, change the workout, go chase after your marriage, be a different person.
00:24:58
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Do things different. Do something different. Break out of the matrix.
Embracing Discomfort for Growth
00:25:04
Speaker
Go get your notebook and write down the ways that you can step out of your comfort zone. Write down things that scare the crap out of you. Write down money goals that scare the crap out of you. Because the higher you take the risk, like I said, the higher the risk, the higher the return.
00:25:25
Speaker
And I'm glad that you guys allowed me to share my story about moving to California from Tennessee. It has absolutely been the craziest, most roller coaster of emotional ride that I have ever been on. But the three years that I have been here, I am a totally different person. And it was because I decided that I was going to do something hard and I have stuck with it and it has paid off tenfold.
00:25:53
Speaker
So I'm sure that there is something that's coming out for you, an area that is coming into your mind where you know you need to step out and be bold. Nobody is coming to save you, sis. Nobody's coming to build that business for you. Nobody's coming to build that marriage for you. Nobody's coming to build that body for you. This is on you. You are the greatest project that you will ever work on. So I am encouraging you to get out there and go do something scary.
00:26:23
Speaker
Until next time, listen to this. You got this. Thanks for joining me today in this conversation. Hey, listen, I love listening and hearing all of the stories that you guys tell me over on Instagram. So if there's anything that you want me to talk about or something that came up for you, please send me a DM. I love hearing the feedback. I love hearing how this work is helping you in your lives. So I look forward to hearing from you guys. And until next time.
00:26:52
Speaker
Class dismissed, sis. I hope you feel fueled and inspired to start taking messy action starting now. By the way, what would you like me to talk about on the show? I'd love to hear from you over on my Instagram. You can find me at Josie Lynn, J-O-Z-I-L-I-N-N, and let me know. Till next time.