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EP10 Erin Gunzelman
245 Plays11 months ago
Erin is a coach who bridges the aetheric with the physical. She is also host of Metaphysical Gravity Podcast
In this conversation, we discussed many things, including
- Erin's transition out of the defence industry and into coaching,
- Her journey with endometriosis
- How diet and lifestyle helped to ease her symptoms but didn't address the root cause
- Masculine and feminine polarities - ying and yang
- How both women and men can learn to work with their polarities
and much more
I really enjoyed this conversation with Erin and I highly recommend her instagram @erin.gunzelman and her podcast @metaphysicalgravitypod
Recommended
Transcript
00:00:02
Speaker
All right. Episode 10. Welcome back everyone to the Nick Taskie podcast. Today I'm joined by Aaron Gunzelman. Aaron and I, I think I followed you um because I saw you did a podcast with Jalal Khan, whose name constantly pops up in almost all of my conversations apparently. But then I didn't meet you, but saw you at Regenerate in Melbourne and I flicked your message and we caught up not too long ago, but you should introduce yourself. And yeah, it was so funny, actually, how we met. I hadn't thought about that in a long time. We walked into the building at the exact same moment. It was so nice. But I recognized you. Yeah. And I was like, I know that guy. And it was because you did a podcast with Jalal also. And I had seen that. So yeah, funny how worlds collide. And I wasn't really expecting to bump into anyone I knew at that conference, but that was really cool.
00:00:55
Speaker
So, yeah, I'll introduce myself. I have a podcast, it's called Metaphysical Gravity, um and I also have a business. I am also a coach, like you. I started out doing nutrition and that sort of specific stuff, and it's transitioned a bit, and so now I call myself a consciousness guide if I have to label it. um Things have shifted and evolved as they do, I guess, when you have your own business. so These days I teach more um about the metaphysics and and all of the sort of metaphysical principles that predicate all those other sciences. Everything between the physical and the non-physical is what I talk about. yeah These days I just help people ask big questions and think differently about their lives and
00:01:44
Speaker
Yeah. Offer lots of varying perspectives on lots of different topics. Yeah. I i i think you what I keep coming back to, and I made a little story about this after that conference. ah but We keep kind of using diet and exercise and all of these lifestyle principles to kind of try and cure ah things that are beyond those things. And ah the Czech stuff has taught me a lot about ah how our lifestyle choices or our diet choices or our exercise choices and the way we behave are driven by
00:02:26
Speaker
Our belief systems, right? And so that sounds to me a lot of ah like what you're talking about is is belief systems and maybe even the things that drive our belief systems as well. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And the root, the bedrock. And this has kind of become my reputation is love. You know, I'm constantly saying I love you to everyone and everything, telepathically sending love to everyone I see on the street and that sort of thing, because yeah, I think that's... what underlies all of this. I think about, you know, if you ask yourself, you know, what you want most in life, everybody's got an answer, right? Like we want more health, we want um more muscles, we want better finances, we want all the things, right? And then you kind of break it down, like the belief systems, like you're saying, like, well, why do I want that? And if you keep driving down further and further and further about like,
00:03:20
Speaker
Why do I want the things that I want? It always comes back to wanting more love, like really and truly at the end of the day. It's always trying to create this experience of more love in our lives. and So yeah, I think that's um part of my work now is kind of bridging that gap and sort of um helping people remember who they really are. And the more we remember who we are, the way we we just navigate the world differently, at least it's been my own personal journey. And so that's kind of why I'm i'm sharing that these days. like Like love is not a preference. It's not an emotion. It's a power, like a superpower. It's literally the most powerful force on the planet. So yeah, the metaphysical glue that holds the entire energy hologram that we exist in together is love.
00:04:06
Speaker
And so tell me a little about a little bit about what your work looks like because I understand that you were probably doing a lot of one-on-one stuff and now you've gone kind of, or you're trying to go to towards more of the great stuff. yeah Yeah, I was definitely doing lots and lots of one-on-one clients for a while and that was amazing and beautiful and I still have um opportunities to work one-on-one with me. I do like a pocket mentorship because I live nomadically. I travel full-time so I don't ever really know where I'll be or how long I'll be in one place can get kind of sticky planning.
00:04:40
Speaker
Um, sessions that way. Um, and so I do pocket mentorships. I also have an offering where you can just kind of ask me a question. I send you an audio recording, but I have just recently launched a membership. It's on Patreon because I like the features and being able to interact and that sort of thing. But yeah, we're moving into more group um group work. And there are ah several reasons for that. I want to make it more affordable for everyone. But also I want to create more of a community feeling because there are a lot of people stepping into this work and stepping up to growth and saying yes to expansion and that kind of thing. And we heal in groups faster, you know, um just like we heal in relationship. It's kind of like um
00:05:23
Speaker
I don't want to say that it's like a like a bypa like a ah quick ah shortcut, I guess, but because it's harder. but It doesn't feel easier, I don't think, but it's faster, I think, in a lot of ways to expand in groups because the a the energy is amplified. and so Yeah, I just launched this membership and it's basically a bunch of different podcasts, um solo episodes, lots of information. I'm building like a toolbox for people to kind of peruse and work through all these different concepts and and really change their minds about things and then we meet up.
00:05:55
Speaker
monthly, sometimes more if my schedule allows. And yeah, I offer like free one-on-one sessions in there too. That was kind of like a pitch, sorry. and No, that's fine. I think one of the interesting things about group work is that you start to notice your own patterns in other people or you start to notice ah You start to notice, yeah, other people's, other people's shit is your shit, right? Like, um, and, and my, ah I've, I've had experience with that and, and heard other people talking and be like, I didn't realize I had that in me or heard someone else talking and then thought that's, you know, that's not something I'm dealing with. And then weeks or months later, uh, it shows up for me and I'm like, well, now I remember how that person dealt with it or how they were coached to deal with it at least.
00:06:45
Speaker
totally Yeah, it's a lot easier to witness. I mean, reality is a mirror. And so we can look out and you can see other people's patterns and and all the parallels a lot easier. But in recognizing it, it is, yeah, wisdom, like there's wisdom in in understanding and saying that exists within me also. And how do I deal with it? Or how do I work with it or anything like that? Yeah, absolutely. Tell me a little bit, because we discussed this, I think, um, when we caught up, but tell me a little bit about what got you to transition from your previous job into what you're doing now. Yeah, that's a good question. Um, well, the shortest answer I think is my own health journey that with that was really my, cause my previous job, I worked in the defense industry. It was a quite a different vibe.
00:07:38
Speaker
Um, but I got really sick and I was experiencing a lot of physical chronic pain. I had a lot of autoimmune related stuff going on as well as what Western medicine calls endometriosis. And I didn't have a lot of like the hallmarks of estrogen dominance and things like that, that other women have. Like it was literally like my symptom is pain. It was bizarre, sort of. um There were a lot of things throughout the journey, but especially these days, I don't have, like, my hormones are in good shape. Like, I've got all a lot of that, like, dialed and locked. But, um yeah, it's just ah physical pain, um which I think is an interesting parallel and pattern.
00:08:21
Speaker
to the emotional pain and and that sort of thing that I've endured through life. But that was really the catalyst to to going back to school and studying nutrition. Because like you and a lot of other people, I think, you know, when we don't feel good, we just want to feel better. and So we seek out, you know, I had this realization like, oh, shit, what I put in my body becomes my body. Well, like, maybe I shouldn't like address that because I had this job where I was constantly traveling and working weird hours and I was in a really male dominated field. It was a lot of really masculine sort of energy, wounded, toxic sort of masculine energy. And I would like eat nothing all day long and then go home and eat an entire bag of popcorn at night or I'd wake up in the morning and I drink like an iced coffee with a shot of espresso like a red eye and that would be my breakfast and then wonder why I didn't feel great, you know, or or whatever like that. And it worked. I mean, I was
00:09:19
Speaker
excelling at my job, but I didn't feel good. And then my pain episodes became so just they took over my entire life and my I had acne all over my face. And I had, yeah, it was a lot of other like mental health things going on, a lot of depression. And, and um, yeah, I had to address it. There was no, yeah, it was like hitting rock bottom. And I think I keep coming back to this point, but you know, you started with the nutrition stuff and.
00:09:53
Speaker
Like I keep realizing more and more and maybe even trying to convince myself is that, you know, even if we take a, a ah what we would call an inverted commas, a holistic approach to um to our health um in terms of nutrition and the psychology side of of these things and and all ah all of the stuff, if we just take care of the nutrition um and we start eating better and we start making better choices in inverted commas, Um, it's still an hour allopathic approach if we're not cutting beneath what's, what's there, right? So, um, you know, you could have stayed in that same job and started eating better and started sleeping better and all of these things. Yeah. and yeah Yeah. I did do that and it didn't, it did shift things. I will say it did shift things.
00:10:41
Speaker
Um, a bit. And that allowed me then to step into the next level, I think. And that's kind of been, so it's been a journey of stepping deeper and deeper into this next level of peeling back these layers. And I don't know if this is going to be part of your question, but it's just popping in my head. What started happening was I started having these very like deeply spiritual experiences, like metaphysical experiences that I could not explain that didn't really make sense to me. Um, And from like a metaphysical perspective and Demetriosis, this womb space, you know, I walk around with like a portal to another dimension in between my legs. That's pretty insane. Like women are pretty freaking cool. Like that's wild. I don't have to take a test. I don't need a license. Like it just is there and it's so crazy. Yeah. But what happens when we shut down these energetic centers, right? Like, and this goes for any part of the body. Like, yes, obviously this is a big topic. I'm a woman and it's my journey, but
00:11:40
Speaker
It's the same thing for lots of different parts of our bodies and how it translates into this metaphysical sort of conversation and um yeah what these things represent and how they evolve. and so Yeah, holistic is a big stretch from the way things are treated in the allopathic community because they didn't have answers for me. It took me 15 years for anyone to even say endometriosis to me. I had no idea. I had never popped up on a Google search. And this had been happening like for decades, um like a long time. And everyone around me
00:12:14
Speaker
It was very, a lot of the same kind of energy as what you bump into often with the outlet of like gaslighting, a lot of unsupportive sort of um people who didn't know how to handle pain, seeing someone that they cared about in pain made them uncomfortable. And so they would dismiss it or shove it away or deny it. um So that was my default, you know, I'm just going to keep trudging along, I'm going to keep going, even though You know, I would be like riding my bike and I pass out from a pain flare because they would come out of nowhere really unpredictably. Wow. Yeah, it was super intense. I'd be out camping in the woods with my friends and all of a sudden wake up and be like, why am I on my back? My body would just, yeah, like shut down because the pain is so intense. I mean, it's like a fatal response. Yeah. And so I would like vomit. I mean, like wake up card and vomit and all this. that It was really intense.
00:13:09
Speaker
pain and my body was protecting me for lots of reasons but also like that was reflected to me like in my environment so I had to step out of that environment in order to heal at a deeper level I guess just to bring it all back to your original question is like stepping out of that environment allowed me to step into other environments where It was safe to be in pain and people could hold me in that and then therefore I could learn how to hold myself in that pain. And again, it's just all comes back to love, self-love, being reflected to you in the external and that sort of thing. It's interesting, you know, I said that maybe the
00:13:48
Speaker
I never meant to infer that the nutritional side of things doesn't matter because obviously what happened when you started eating better and living better was that you made space for the other changes to start happening. So the surface level, um the surface level stuff changed and then the deepest stuff started to happen. But it's kind of also interesting that um it seems to me like Every second or third win woman now has a condition like that. Endo, PCOS, even stuff like fibromyalgia is like much more prevalent in women than men, right? And so what do you think is is is the reason why like so many women are overcome by illnesses like like them? So yeah, so many ways to answer that.
00:14:34
Speaker
um So scientifically, I think so we hold more adipose tissue because we're meant to like grow babies and that sort of thing. Like our we have organs that are designed to pull souls from another dimension into the physical realm, our bodies inherently have to be built differently. And I think that I mean, you could talk about like, I used to know like all the sciences, like to like what that actually translates to like on a cellular level, like why we hold more toxins and that sort of thing, I think. um So there's that aspect of it, I think that we are just like, um yeah. Yeah, you're more environmentally sensitive and you're more susceptible, I think at a nervous system level to... Exactly. Yeah.
00:15:24
Speaker
Yeah, so it's that and but it's I mean, in the same token, it's like this metaphysical reason. It's like the life bringers, you know, like the we hold like a certain energetic frequency and that sort of thing. And I think men are incredibly spiritually repressed. There's like this masculine sort of like spiritual repression that's been happening since, ah you know, for a very, very long time. But women are very emotionally and physically repressed. I think about that a lot. like There are these you know just like beauty standards in general. This is a left turn. Sorry. No, that's okay. Welcome to my brain. but like for the law i mean I've never worn makeup. I used to get made fun of all the time when I was a kid. My mom would be like, why? Why can't you just like put a little of this on your face? Try. you know But I never felt drawn to that kind of thing. But it's interesting because
00:16:11
Speaker
The makeup and all of the beauty, so all the stuff, you know, the chemicals, all the stuff we're supposed to put on our hair to make us more attractive to the opposite sex are actually sort of the things that are inherently um like degrading our fertility, you know what I mean? It's like this very interesting sort of like, it it makes you wonder like, well, maybe there is something nefarious going on here because the toxins in all of these products that are supposed to like make me more attractive and attract a mate and then reproduce because that's nature and like human, butlu at like how it works.
00:16:44
Speaker
the But the thing that's being shoved down my throat by society and like, you know, at large is inherently harmful to my health. And women are the ones that are slavering the stuff all over their bodies. And then there's this whole psychological component, you know, like the way that I am is not good enough is not, you know, it's inherently not loving necessarily. I mean, whatever you want to do to make yourself, um to love yourself, i you know, there's no judgment there. i i do use chemicals. like i i hate I would hate to be a hypocrite here and be like, I never use like hairspray or anything like that. Totally do. right like I would get totally canceled by the crunchy community probably. if
00:17:27
Speaker
out like ri you know But because I have balance now, I've established so much balance in my life. like I fully believe that my body can detox whatever I put on my skin because of the way that I eat, because of the way I talk to myself and the way that I love myself. I'm not, when I use these products or I encounter a toxin or something in the environment, you know, it's not like I'm freaked out or scared. Like I really trust my body and I trust, um, yeah, like my ability to kind of, um, heal. Yeah. And, and I think that's.
00:18:04
Speaker
The way I like to think about eating and and all of that extra effort that people like you and I go to is that we know that the environment is full of these things that we can't avoid. And so if I leave my house and start thinking about you know, chemtrails or, you know, walking over a weed that's been sprayed or going into the gym and smelling ah the air fresheners that are on the walls or in the bathrooms and all of these things. And I'm actually creating more harm for myself. And the easiest things that I can do are to take care of the things that I can take care of. And if there are times where I encounter um chemicals or electromagnetic pollution and all of these things that all of us are so aware of now,
00:18:47
Speaker
then I know that I am putting my, I'm giving myself a better chance to recover from these things. Totally. Yeah. To recover and also just strengthen the system too. That's what I'm realizing is, um, the more I travel, the more I inner, like interact and encounter more and more people. I'm realizing I, I feel really resourced within myself just from like a nervous system perspective, but also, um, Yeah, like my physical body like response adapts a lot quicker. And it's kind of like what we were talking about earlier, it's like meeting these challenges with a new level of consciousness because, and I mentioned this on social media, but I had a big flare up last month. kind of out of I saw that. Yeah, like really big flare up. And I was sort of blindsided in a way, but also not because I had had this very not great encounter the couple of months before.
00:19:46
Speaker
Um, and yeah, it's just the way that I hold myself when it does happen is such a different experience that there's not like this big fear of what have I done wrong? Have I messed up? Because it used to be I'd have flare ups and I'd be like, Oh my gosh, I ate gluten or, Oh, it's the dairy. It's this, or, you know, or like, Oh, I went with my friends and they were all wearing perfume. and Oh, I breathed it. it's not It's none of that. And I know that now because I had to go through this journey of being a complete nut about everything that went in my body and everything I exposed myself to. I mean, I lived on 10 acres by myself in very rural Southwest Colorado. Yeah. And I literally, I mean, for months I would like sleep was like
00:20:33
Speaker
I unplugged the router. I was in the middle of nowhere. It was beautiful. I would sleep so deeply, so good. i Deep healing was happening in the in the little time that I spent out there. and um yeah i just It just, it's not the food. Like, yes, it's important what we eat and we have to have strong foundations and all of that sort of thing. But when it really comes down to these physical illnesses, the more I dig in, the more I really uncover within myself and my clients and the people I interact with, it has less and less to do with all of that. And it is like you're saying this holistic sort of amalgamation of
00:21:13
Speaker
being connected to our soul is like the root of all of it, like just really connecting with what is your truth. If you believe, I mean, and I was just talking to Paul about this on my podcast, like, he's talking about breathitarians and things like that, like our beliefs do play a role. There's also this truth element, but it's really interesting, like how, how we feel about out of the world and ourselves and other people is really, I think the root of of all the healing. yeah ah I've heard this example used a number of times of, um there's there's some guru in India um the who was teaching, you know, his whatever he does as a guru, like his meditative practices or his chi gong or tai chi and all the stuff that goes with it. And he's a super healthy guy, but he eats.
00:22:03
Speaker
Uh, he eats takeaway, eats really bad food, barely sleeps and does all these things. And people like, well, if he does it, then I can get away with it. And it's like, well, no, what is, what is his physiological load or what's his allostatic load compared to yours? He lives probably in a monastery where his every need is taken care of. Yeah. Um, no stress. Yeah. yeah he He meditates all day. Um, and yeah, basically has no stress. So yeah, he, he has room to do whatever he wants. Basically on top of that.
00:22:35
Speaker
Exactly. And it's so individual. I mean, and you hear the stories about this, like generations before us, like smoking cigarettes, drinking wine every single day, but they live to 110 years old. And they're like, you know, driving around doing taking care of, you know, living fully self sufficient lives. It's a totally different thing. Like, yeah, maybe their toxic load is less. But also, like, I mean, there's so many factors that come into play when it comes to each individual, like, sort of thing. But really, every symptom we experience in my, like, is an opportunity for us to look deeper within ourselves in 100% of the time. So yeah, like that guy isn't experiencing symptoms. He's probably looked at a lot of parts of himself, you know, like, or, or maybe not, but you know, who Yeah,
00:23:23
Speaker
It's not really about him. That's the thing. its For me, it's like I turn everything back onto myself. Everything's a reflection. So if I encounter someone who you know is treating me a certain way or behaving, you know I have like a certain type of conflict or something in the world. like For me, it's always a mirror. What is this showing me? What am I learning about myself here in this? Yeah. and And for me, just specific to me, a lot of it has to do with boundaries. I think endometriosis, yeah, is like a big, I mean, think about it like our womb, it's literally like what they say is happening is the lining of your uterus is growing outside of the organ where it's supposed to be like that sounds like a boundaries issue. Are you over giving? Are you overextending yourself like under boundary? You know, it just
00:24:12
Speaker
It's this like hand reaching out for help in a way too. Hyper independence has been a bit of a a long lesson for me too, asking for help, saying, yeah, like, or just resting in general. I think that's like something that a lot of women and men too can i can relate to, but the way that it shows up and it patterns in our bodies is all individual. Yeah, very cool. It's also interesting to me that It seems what's happening ah at a physical level and probably deeper than that as well is we talk about conditions like endo and PCOS and these other things. And then on the other end of the spectrum with men, we see testosterone counts and all of the and and sperm and and all of these things falling. And when we look at what happens to women who take the contraceptive pill, they start being attracted to more feminine men. and so
00:25:06
Speaker
their lineage becomes more feminine. They are, you know, the women become feminized. And then, but I think, I think at a deep level, we're kind of becoming androgynous, right? Like as, as we, as, as things get worse, women turn more into men and men turn more into women. And I i think maybe that's like you say before on the boundaries thing. Um, and. ah asking for help and and all of these things like receiving, if we look at that from the yin-yang perspective, right, feminine is receiving, um and we can look at the reproductive organs as a primary example of that, and a pretty crude example, um but we can say, you know, women who have issues receiving, ah you know, they start to become more androgynous, and men who have issues maybe giving or
00:26:00
Speaker
Being, uh, what we would, I guess, broadly describe as masculine or giving, um, and provider. Yeah. Providing, um, have, and start to become more feminine. Yeah. At a physical level. Literally it's all energetic first. And then it shows up physically. Yeah. That was really beautifully, a very clever way to kind of leave all in and in together. Cause I think that's really true and it it is androgynous maybe, but it's also like. I mean, just speaking from my own personal experience, like swinging to the other end, like I had to be masculine and like that but overdeveloped masculine energy in myself in order to survive. Yes. it's Yeah, like in like it literally was like a like a survival sort of thing because I wasn't surrounding myself with, um you know, like healthy male provider safe sort of
00:26:56
Speaker
energies. And it's so interesting, I was just I just interviewed Tom Barnett for my podcast, and I was going to I haven't decided in the intro talk about because I hear it in myself. So I only listened to half the podcast back so far. But this is a very Tom, if you're not familiar is and like someone who I followed and respected for a very long time. And you can hear in the episode, like in the beginning, I kind of lead with more masculine energy. Because it's my podcast and I'm like showing up, you know, but over like and I i maybe if this is my own self-awareness but I can hear a shift in myself in the way we're conversing where things get sort of like there's this masculine like he's such a safe masculine presence. I kind of relax and it made the conversation better in my opinion.
00:27:44
Speaker
Because, and and this is something that I just witnessed over and over and over again. yeah The more I cultivate in myself that safety and that sort of thing, my life sort of then um transforms. Yeah. it I, yeah, it's really interesting the the way these like patterns, these dynamics sort of play out on a micro personal individual level and then the macro sort of externally and that kind of thing. Yeah. And so would you say that um perhaps.
00:28:16
Speaker
Two things ah two things ah I thought about there, like you said you're in an environment where you were in the military, but you weren't around safe masculine providers, which is a really kind of odd realization. And the other one is. when you become more comfortable in your feminine or in your um maybe, in other words, if that say that is yin, then you start to be able to a attract or or just um enjoy more masculine energy, right? Yeah, yeah, that's both. Yeah. And that's not to say that there weren't um safe or healthy loving like provider energies in those spaces where I used to exist predominantly. I think part of it was
00:29:02
Speaker
unhealthy toxic, but also I couldn't have received it if it was there probably. There was sort of like an element of, and I think that this is unconscious for a lot of women. I know it was for me, but it's just like this non-self loving sort of feeling, like not feeling deserving of receiving, right? A lot of us have issues receiving in general. It's kind of like what you're seeing for men, like we all inherently have these masculine feminine polarities within us. We have to be able to tap into right? Maybe we have more or one is more predominant, you know in our core and that sort of thing But yeah, like I was operating in this hyper masculine state. I had to do it all for myself That was a response to my own childhood and everything that I experienced there and it was I mean I love that part of myself and I'm so glad I know her because she's really strong and she kept me alive and like I
00:30:01
Speaker
Yeah, it was necessary, I think, to expand in the ways that I expanded and learn. But also, I can't bring that version of her into the future that I want to experience because it like you're saying is like, I can't interact with these other energies, if that's where I want to live. And it's not my true nature. Like, yeah, it it wasn't the truth. Like, again, this whole message of bridging the etheric and the physical, you know, reconnecting with our soul. On a soul level, that's not where I like to live. I don't feel safe or comfortable. It doesn't feel like my truth. And that's really what a lot of this comes down to. And that whole conversation about love comes into play because love to me is truth. Like, what is your truth?
00:30:43
Speaker
um and And truly, like I think for men, it's like men really do feel the most fulfilled when they are in the provider role, like when they are able to show up and create um presence. and and And masculine energy is consciousness. I mean, it is literally you know being present. femininity You know, this feminine energy is wild and and sort of chaotic sometimes, not in like a create conflict chaos sort of way, but it's more like a storm, you know, like a thunderstorm or something really beautiful. At least that's how I like to think of it. Yeah. And so, yeah. Yeah. I've heard it described as, um, you know, masculine energy is more like a laser and feminine energy might be more like a floodlight. I don't know if that's, if that's, um, if that's a good way to describe it or not.
00:31:32
Speaker
I mean, I do like that. Yeah. Yeah. and Well, it's fun to think about that. I've also heard like the river bank, like masculine energy is like the river bank. And then the feminine energy is the river itself or the water that flows through it. And so the masculine like holds that. But in a way, I mean, I think we definitely, men masculine, and this is not specific to men or women, so to make that clear, but like masculine energy and feminine energy, it's like, there is like a play for both, you know, like, because
00:32:04
Speaker
there is a container that the feminine sort of connect or or creates you know to receive from the masculine. um At least yeah that that's how it works in my mind too. like For everyone's evolution, everyone is going to evolve in in that container. Yeah, I think I've started trying at least a little bit, probably not very well, to ah to go away from the words masculine and feminine start using the words yin and yang because people are so polarized by those words. it's like
00:32:37
Speaker
That's also not a pun on words, but oh I'll take it. um But, you know, if you say the word, um if you tell a male that they need to, like me, if you came up to me and said you need to embrace your feminine more. um I mean, I understand it now, but if I didn't, then I'd probably. Yeah. Like I'd be triggered by it, right? Like what are you talking about? Um, but if you said like you need to embrace more yin energy, um, that would be less triggering for me. And so how would, how would someone, uh, a male or female, let's say for men, how would a man, how would a male, um, start to embrace more of his yin? Oh, that's so, that's a good question. I love the thinking about these questions too, because
00:33:25
Speaker
It's kind of like, like what makes me an authority to speak like a man should do, you know what I mean? I don't, no, I know. Well, i but I think as a woman, like I am, it's kind of like the race conversation. And like, I really think that like, like I look to black people to tell me what their experience of like, you know, like the white conversation or that kind of thing. Like me I did not say that the right way, but you know what I mean? It's like someone like I will look to the minority for information about like, um,
00:34:00
Speaker
as an expert, I guess, because their their experience does matter. And that in this conversation is similar. It's like, as a woman, I have seen men who can't connect with their feminine energy, right? Like feeling their feelings, acknowledging they have feelings. Some of the strongest men I have ever encountered are deep, deep feelers. I mean, maybe deeper than a lot of the women I know. And they have never had the space or the permission to just feel their feelings and to be in the, it like the sea of emotion that we are all subject to in this physical dimension. That's the whole point. It's energy and motion. That's what I mean when I say like, from my experience, it seems like men have been really incredibly spiritually repressed in a way that you can't repress a woman. Like we literally, you can't
00:34:55
Speaker
I was spiritually repressed for a long time. I have a lot of like religious trauma and that sort of thing that I've sort of worked to transcend. But it was my body was screaming at me the whole time. like because And that's why I had started having these like deeply spiritual experiences that I could not quantify and logic my way through with my masculine, my hypermasculine. I could not explain any of it. and So I was like, oh, I have to just surrender. you know what i mean and so inherently stepping into this like very deeply spiritual sort of side and reconnecting with that part of myself and integrating all of that and and looking at.
00:35:33
Speaker
You know the shadows and like all of those little bits that go along with all of it It's really I think that might be like I think one suggestion or way to reconnect It's like just give yourself permission to be alone with your with your shit. Mm-hmm It's interesting that you bring up feeling as well um because I think you've studied, have you studied a little bit of Jung? Like, I'm i'm not going to pretend that I've studied him really deeply, but I know a little bit about his, ah about at least some of his concepts. And yeah he has like these, this, this um,
00:36:11
Speaker
I guess it's like a full quadrant like pie chart and he's got, I think he calls it the four functions of consciousness. So you've got thinking, feeling, intuiting and judging. And so feeling and intuiting. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I, I know about that, but I didn't realize like it was young. Okay. I'm pretty sure that's him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So one side of it would, so they meant you meant to have you your I guess as you mature in life, you're meant to be able to, um, to use all of those functions, but two of those are Yang or masculine and two of those are, you know, feminine. So thinking and judging are the masculine and feeling and intruding are the feminine. And so it's kind of interesting that you brought up feeling. Yeah. Yeah. And I, it is, I, okay. So I didn't know that, but yeah, I mean, ah and that feminine energy to me is yes, like.
00:37:06
Speaker
Yeah, like being present with what is is the masculine consciousness, but allowing yourself to like be in that maybe is more of the yin like the feeling of whatever is occurring, like, like the river and the riverbank sort of situation, like the masculine energy is holding whatever is happening in the river. Or, I mean, I've explained it to clients in the past. They're like, well, how long is this going to last? Like, I'm really, you know, like having these issues and all this stuff. And it's like, well, like, do we know how long the storm is going to last? Like, we don't actually get to know you're just in it. Um, and then yeah, like you, you get into all those other
00:37:48
Speaker
fun concepts about yeah like navigating that stuff. but Yeah. And then for me, at a more surface level, um I would say things that I try and do to to at least try to embrace some more of that yin. If you think at a surface level, right? Like an ice bath is yin because it's cold. So as men, we tend to get fiery and hot. We drink coffee, right? You said to me the other day, I said, I drink too much coffee. And you said to me, that's so masculine. And, you know, I guess, yeah. And I guess on the other side of that spectrum and talking about how men are becoming more feminine,
00:38:31
Speaker
coffee focuses the mind, right? And then drinking alcohol or beer tends to help us to relax. And so to me, that's one of the, you know, if if we talk about distorted masculine energy or distorted male energy would maybe be a less triggering way to put it. Um, then I think that. we would see, we start to see less of the surface level abuse of things like alcohol and and these things that are um feminizing us and making us more androgynous, like we were talking about before, when we start to do more of the surface level. And it's also not like an ice bath is, an ice bath is surface, but an ice bath is a bit deeper than surface level sometimes as well. but But things like sleeping as well, like sleep, being awake is is yang, that's masculine.
00:39:20
Speaker
um And being asleep is like when you're actually healing working out in the gym is when that's masculine like breaking things down and Dividing and then when you're resting or eating that's feminine or yin um and so yeah, I think it's I think we could have another triggering conversation about how
00:39:44
Speaker
Jordan Peterson comes to mind on this topic because um I don't know, I think people are starting to to um even become triggered by Jordan Peterson, but he talks about ah programming of you know of of basically society as a whole through our education system and how women are taught that they need to enter STEM fields or they need to be a certain way. um You know, you you need to compete with men in this area and men, men probably, maybe, maybe men to a similar degree. Um, I think men are just more so told that to be masculine is not is wrong or that all masculinity is toxic. And so perhaps women are driven to become more masculine in a subverted way or in a, uh,
00:40:37
Speaker
perverted way, even, and men are even in an even more perverted way told that to be masculine is wrong. Oh, there's so many. Yes. What I know what you're driving at. And it's like, there's so much. um What a big conversation. There's so much distortion, I think, around the way these concepts show up, like in the collective. And Jordan Peterson has an interesting example, because man I just will say, like there's I really believe there is something to be learned from everything, every single person. And and I don't agree with Jordan Peterson on a lot, but I yeah like can appreciate that idea or suggesting that. again like
00:41:20
Speaker
i we should talk about all the triggering things. we should try yeah We should talk about all the triggering things because this is again, like how else are we gonna evolve? Like we can talk about triggering things from a place of love and trying to reach an understanding and really that's how we're gonna move through all this. Like we are all being like called like from an evolutionary perspective to evolve right now. Like literally an evolutionary impulse is guiding us toward these like more higher aware more present states of being. It's all love. Like we're all coming back to love. And I guess I'm i'm just bringing that up because that's part of this masculine feminine sort of conversation, the yin and the yang. Like you brought up ice baths earlier. It's so funny that you said that because I was just thinking about it this morning.
00:42:07
Speaker
Like someone had asked me like, what do you think of ice baths? I'm like, well, it literally depends on every individual. Like, yeah, I, from a psychological standpoint, I could see how that could be incredibly beneficial for a lot of people and also incredibly detrimental, like psychologically, like overcoming this. you know, mental sort of situation where you want to get out or whatever like that. That's a man and a woman thing. Also from like a mitochondria perspective could see how beneficial and amazing that could be for all kinds of people, right? Like if you were hypothyroid and you go and jump in an ice bath for five minutes, then that's yeah pretty counterintuitive, right? Exactly.
00:42:44
Speaker
100% Yes, like, depending on this, yes, they are metabolic flexibility, like all of these different factors come into play. That's not specific to men and women. And that's kind of what you're saying. It's like this androgynous sort of conversation. Like, I don't know if we're headed if it's this push for androgyny or if it's just like this master confusion of just like, what are we and who am I and all of it, right? But like this evolutionary impulse that we're all experiencing is contradicting whatever it is out in, you know, the external all the noise and the chaos that says you're not who you think you are, which is at your core love and yeah, the
00:43:24
Speaker
polar, these energies, right, that like, make us who we are. And you are going to feel like, much better if you are operating in one versus the other versus a little bit of this one or the little, you know, because I know a lot of really beautiful women who are like, predominantly embody a very masculine energy, like they are like to their core kind of thing. But it's like, but tell me what that what What does that look like when a woman is embodying a ah masculine energy? well i mean i can but I can speak for myself like because yeah I have like had to work to develop my own. I think this it is, again, talking about like this distortion conversation. you know like Feminism gets a bad rap.
00:44:08
Speaker
And I do, I do think that there are a lot of distortions in that conversation because it's, it is, it we swung the pendulum far, far out, right? But embodying healthy masculine for me means like when the energy is there, I work, I show up like I make the decisions. I am in charge of my life. I am the leader of my life, right? Like, um, I am building the things like I'm trying to create a legacy. You know what I mean? Like this is my life's work. These, this like conversation about love. Um, and yeah, I love working out and connecting to my physical body and that kind of thing. There is
00:44:51
Speaker
I think this may be misconception that being a feminine at your core feminine being means that you lay in the sun in your sundress and you don't work and the men just like provide and you just exist. And there's truth in that, right? Like there is truth to receiving in that way. and I move differently through the world because I am a female and also because my core is predominantly feminine. I have to, I was just, I just posted um like something the other day about
00:45:25
Speaker
having to check my Airbnb's for cameras and like, ah yeah be my yeah, like keeping a head on my head on a swivel. Like I'm inherently moved through the world differently than a man. Men don't even have to think about the dark parking lots at night and, you know, all of those types of things, but there's, I think, like a disconnect. And so I, yeah, I know when I'm in relationship, especially with like a safe, healthy, masculine sort of presence, it's like, things do shift, things do open up differently and that, and yeah, it's really interesting and beautiful. And that's, again, more confirmation, like these polarities exist for a reason and we we do need one another in terms of evolution and that sort of thing. It is that shortcut to healing, maybe not the easier route, maybe not the more comfortable route, but it's possible and yeah.
00:46:16
Speaker
Um, we get the wounds, you know, like my, my masculine energy was wounded in relationship. And so it makes sense that it, it then to heal it, it has to be in relationship, but a different type, you know, like a different kind of ah relationship. yeah question Yeah. Yeah, it does. And, and would you say, yeah, I think that, I think that answers it pretty well. Um, tell me. The word love is is so confusing as well because people hear the word love and they think of like of romance or they think everything is good or and everything is, you know, loves and ah butterflies and rainbows and and this sort of thing. But I don't know if that's necessarily what you mean when you say that.
00:47:04
Speaker
Yeah, definitely not. Yeah, no, not at all. I mean, romantic love, I do there is merit and it is beautiful. And um I think it's yeah, important. But when I'm talking about love, that's yeah, that's really not what I'm talking about. I think the essence for me is like being able to see God in anyone and everything like seeing myself in everyone and everything. Like I said before, I just don't think it's like, you know, love's not a preference. It's not like an emotion, the way that, you know, romantic love has like, we've been sort of brainwashed and conditioned into thinking that it's this like, you know, butterflies and fairy tales. And yeah, and that sort of thing. And it is like a verb.
00:47:50
Speaker
But I also, I think it's more of a state of being. It's like a vibration. And um yeah, like the more we raise our consciousness, like the more we become an expression of love. The more that the world changes the more that I've experienced my life changing if that makes sense. Yeah. um um've I've heard it said that and I kind of believe this to be true as well the highest form of love is compassion and I think that that but that basically describes it right like
00:48:27
Speaker
When you're when you can have compassion for yourself, then that means I did the wrong thing or I don't necessarily like myself, but I can and I keep using this example as well, but I can parent myself or I can bring myself back um to a state where I start to feel better about myself. um And so you kind of remind me as well before, you know, speaking about pain of this concept that Chet teaches called the pain teacher. And he likes to say that, you know, pain is always there. He says pain is a quickener of consciousness. So every time we experience pain, we're brought back to the present moment, right? um And so
00:49:09
Speaker
it's It's kind of funny to say, and I almost burst out laughing when I thought about that. But um you know when we feel really down or when we're um when we're hurt, we are actually being present. And for the longest time, I had this kind of idea in my mind that to be present meant that we were happy or it was like sunshine and rainbows. right But the pain teacher is literally making you more present of what you can learn to change. to start to make things better. I think another, another easy word for pain teacher might be trigger. And we can say like trigger people kind of more think of as mental and emotional, psychological triggers, but you know, you could have a physical trigger as well.
00:49:52
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. You just made me think of like, you know, avoiding triggers and things like that. Just, it's a similar concept. Like people avoid, we avoid pain because it's uncomfortable. Yeah. Take a panda or what, what, I don't know what you guys call it. I can't remember. Tylenol. Yeah. In the States. Or Advil. Yeah. Definitely don't ever take Tylenol. Oh my gosh. It's like the worst of the worst. Yes. You get a, you know, you eat the wrong food and you get a belly ache. So you take something to fix that instead of saying, what caused my belly ache? And that would, The simple question of what causing caused my belly ache would quicken your consciousness, if you were willing to pay attention to the pain. Exactly. It's incredible. It's crazy. like because my pain is my I don't want to keep calling it my pain, but like because the pain that I experienced with my menstrual cycle, especially in the past, but on occasion now still in the present, it's so intense.
00:50:45
Speaker
i've heard joe dispense a talk about this like he would get excited as a kid when he'd get a fever because he would like he knew i guess somewhere else that happens almost every time and i cannot explain to you like It's like a trip. It's a literally I, this past month when I had that happen to me, I was on the floor and then it's like, there's a good 24 hours afterwards where I feel like I've been hit by a bus. And so I'm like kind of not in the world anymore. So two days had gone by. I finally left this place where I was staying, this Villa in Bali.
00:51:16
Speaker
And I walked out onto the street and I swear I like, I had been there for a few weeks. I knew the street very well. I knew the kids that lived across the street. Like I was playing with all the dogs on the road and it was like, I was brand new in this environment. wow I was a, it literally, I was like, oh, I jumped a few timelines. Cause this is like, what the hell? It was in, in that's exactly. It must be like incredible pain as well to do that to you. It's really bad. Yeah, right. Yeah, I didn't actually realize like, that it was that bad until I was, and I'm not getting like 30 years old, because I had never really let anyone outside of my family. um And like, you know, stranger, bypassers, doctors, or things like that, like see me in that state. And
00:52:00
Speaker
And I let someone experience it with me and they stayed with me through the whole episode. It was like a three day, 12 hour a day kind of marathon. Yeah. I started to get really scared because I will vomit so much that I can't keep watered down. I can't believe I'm telling you this. Yeah. But it's really intense. So I get worried about how dehydrated I'm getting. And this, I mean, it was really bad. And so I was like, do I need to go to the hospital, which is like another whole triggering thing for me. You want to talk about triggers. but Yeah, it's, it's really, um, yeah, I did not realize like, I didn't realize how bad it was. Yeah. It's really interesting what our brains will do if we've been conditioned to think that we're weak or conditioned to think that we are not. Yeah. Yeah. But it's, we do have quite a tolerance for pain. But yeah, anyway, jumping timelines, there is something crazy that happens when you lean in to the discomfort too. And this is not to say that you're weak if you need to take
00:52:55
Speaker
You know a painkiller or something like that like I totally get it like use the tools we live in I'd probably take a pendula I usually can't even keep them down like I can't even yeah can so that it's like a null and void most of the time but I mean again Discernment it's like we if we're in our heart space if we're really connected to our truth of our soul of this universal life force. Like we're going to know what is necessary in each moment. And sometimes that does mean relying on allopathic care and like going to the doctor or the hospital or you know, it's like these, we have all of these tools at our disposal. We can pick them like plug and play all these different things to create a toolbox for ourselves that helps us navigate physical reality and learn more about ourselves.
00:53:47
Speaker
You know what I mean? Like, um, and it's going to be different for everyone. And it's just, yeah, like when we're triggered knowing like, Oh, this is mine. Like this has nothing to do with what that person's doing to me. Like this is on me. I've got to figure this out and look at myself, right? And love both of us in this. situation, and maybe that means you never speak to that person again. like that's you know like That's possible, but that doesn't mean that um yeah they are inherently wrong. or you know there's just It's a resonance. right we We attract what we are, and so everything is a mirror. We can learn more about ourselves through our pain, through our triggers. Every symptom is an invitation to learn a little bit more about ourselves. and
00:54:27
Speaker
if we're constantly masking if we're constantly numbing all of that how will we evolve and how will we grow um and yeah and learn more you know that's the whole point this the exciting adventure i don't get excited when um the pain begins like ah that i you know it's not like excitement it's kind of like like i remember reading about the pain they say is is it labor they say is like equivalent of breaking 22 bones at once i could be oh yeah but like i was late endo is six times worse or something oh well
00:55:02
Speaker
And there's no feel good hormones and there's no baby at the end. And so it's like really not fun. And there's so many, I mean, this is like one in 10 women experience this, you know, not all of them are pain, not all of them are, you know, that sort of thing. It's really, it's just so fascinating that we endure this stuff or we mask it and don't ask these deeper questions. Like what, what really is at the root of this and what really could, yeah, might could be impacting, um, Yeah, all of this. And so when it happens now, it it's not fear, it used to be deep fear because I didn't understand what was happening. And I've never had surgery to actually diagnose myself. So I don't technically know if it's endometriosis because the surgeries are so invasive, they take forever to recover from and they don't, they're not a guarantee. And they might create more scar tissue, which would then be even more painful. And so, I mean, all of that just to say that like, when I do
00:55:59
Speaker
go into those caves now it's like there's lots of visuals that happen for me and there's lots of purging that happens and it's it's really i mean metaphysical is like the only bird i can use to describe it is like a rebirth in a way a purge maybe more of like a exorcism i don't know yeah that's incredible i think ah men and probably like it we we have no idea how much pain women go through I think like and I Think women can tolerate a lot more pain than men like me you can give birth to a baby ah But beyond that if endometriosis is six times worse than giving birth to a baby Then that's like an incredible amount of pain. It's like an opinion though. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's really an opinion. Like ah what is the who's to say, you know, what I mean, yeah, it's ah it's objectiveive bra it's not objective,
00:56:53
Speaker
Yeah, it's just such an interesting conversation and we should, yeah, I wonder if there is science to quantify all of that kind of stuff because, you know, I'm all about a number and some data and like crunching away on that thing. But it's like, I don't actually know, you know what I mean? And so that's part of it. It's like just surrendering to the experience and trusting and and really It's a really kind of trippy to kind of go into it with that and to just hold myself in that space and be human and just to be like, like we were talking about earlier, it's like, can you just be in the experience and have it be what it is and not need to change it? You know what I mean? Like, whatever is happening is for my highest good and the highest good of all.
00:57:35
Speaker
And I am that is so deeply ingrained in my every cell of my being at this point where I like is like, well, this is where we are like, well, we'll just pause button everything. And this is we're going to be with ourselves like this is how it goes. And um yeah, it's really just such ah did like a like I feel like my experience of life is so much richer because of it, because it's like I don't fight it. like I'm not trying to control or manipulate the world to be something different than it is. like It really does feel like it's always working out for me, even when I'm on the floor, not very comfortable.
00:58:14
Speaker
yeah You, you kind of made me think just then if I was to think of without looking up the definition of what compassion is, um what you just said, like to be what it, what it is and not change it. Like that would be a pretty good definition, I think. Like you were talking about love earlier. Yeah, exactly. I thought of when you said that, that's what I was thinking about. Like. What if we all walked around being more compassionate, not only to ourselves, but to one another? Like, imagine what the world would look like. What would be created from from that energy? Yeah. Have you studied any of Gabor Marte's work? I used to. Oh, that man. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And Peter Levine. Yeah. Yeah. I know that name. I haven't studied his stuff.
00:59:01
Speaker
Yeah, well, early. So um I got married in 2016. And that thank goodness that I did that because I was kind of forced to look at myself in in that container. um Yeah. um And that's when I did a lot of like looking at my own trauma because I didn't even realize that I like had been traumatized. I didn't i was like, I'm not traumatized. ah see I don't remember half my childhood, but it was probably, it was fine. you know Yeah. Um, yeah. And so definitely the work of those two men for sure. And then I started reading like the body keeps the score. Yeah. So I thought of that book, Bezel Bandicott. Yeah. Yeah. Another really remarkable one that just bit a lot. yeah You made me think about Gabo Marte because I'm sure he says, and and again, another ah more female condition, but i'm he uses an example of women with breast cancer. And he said, and I've heard other people talk about this as well, that, um,
01:00:10
Speaker
women with breast cancer, oftentimes what he finds when he does deep work with them, because he's, I don't know if he's a psychologist, or I think he's ah actually a psychiatrist. um And what he finds at the root of that breast cancer often is that um they have very poor boundaries with their family and they're over givers. So if you think of breast being like a exactly what they are are giving and to the point where those women can't say no. And so for example, when they're tired, they'll continue to work for their family or when their family is pissing them off, they will ah you know not tell them and and just do you know basically what we think of as um a mother should do, but it's really not what a mother should do.
01:00:59
Speaker
right Well, it's interesting too, because it again, it connects back to this masculine feminine energy, sort of um distortions that we were talking about earlier. like I don't know if you've ever met a mother, but like that role is not like inherently like this ooey-gooey feminine sort of lay in the sun and eat fruit role. Have you ever had to care for a sick child in the middle of the night? There's so much about motherhood that inherently doesn't fit into these distorted conversations around like what this feminine energy and what it really is. And and there is so much strength, I think. Yeah, like, in oh yeah, my, my mom is a mom of five. And i I remember like, as a kid, anytime I would wake up in the night and go into her room, she was like, waiting awake. Like it was almost, it was almost like I had to say, all I said is mom and she was like awake. Right. And, you know, all the stuff that go like that's,
01:01:58
Speaker
Can we I i've I've said it before and i'll say it again like that is a that's probably the hardest job in the world is motherhood like Yeah, and it's just, yeah, what is required um of these roles and um how these energies all play out and that kind of thing. It's such an interesting, fascinating conversation. but And I'm not a super fan of German New Medicine. I appreciate German New Medicine for um its role in my own like consciousness expansion, but I do think that there's a few
01:02:32
Speaker
Um, I have some, yeah, well, it's not about that, but there's, they say the conflict, I think for breast cancer is what you're talking about. Like, and it makes sense. Like, what is this organ used for? And the shadow side, you know, kind of like having like this big capacity for empathy and compassion, like that's sort of my superpower. Like I have, like, ah like I know this about myself now, like this massive capacity for empathy and compassion. but there is like a shadow side to it, sort of like what you're saying, it's like setting the boundary. But you take on other people's, yeah, shit. Absolutely, right? And carrying everyone else's things. And I think mothers especially, I mean, like we're inherently kind of brainwashed into thinking like we've got to do it all and we can't say no and we can't set boundaries and we have to overgive. And sometimes I think breast cancer can be a little bit, you know, if you've been traumatized in a way like where you have an experience where like something's going to happen and caring for your baby is,
01:03:31
Speaker
um, threatened or, you know, like something like that happens. It's like, there's so many elements to how this stuff presents in our individual bodies. You know what I mean? Like for me, it's like the womb space for other people. It might be breast cancer or whatever, you know, it's just, um, all of it, an invitation to get to know ourselves better and to get into alignment with the truth and like the, the love. Yeah. Yeah. that Yeah. Yeah. We, um we touched on Jordan Peterson before and we've touched on a lot of, um, like as I always do a lot of names of, I guess people that I've learned from and and look up to and these sorts of things. But, um, we were, we were talking last time, um, about Osho as well. And it kind of makes me think about, um,
01:04:23
Speaker
Because I said before, you know, there there's there's a phase where we maybe discover something new or we discover someone great and we think they're they're so great and everything, you know, they say the word of God and everything that comes out of their mouth is gold. and I thought that about Jordan Peterson for a long time. And I've thought that about a lot of, of you know, men or or mentors, I should say. um And I actually love, um I devour everything that they produce. And then what what made me kind of bring up the name Osho is that he said, one of the most famous things he said, I think, was that
01:05:04
Speaker
I'm going to really butcher this, but it basically comes down to none of us actually, or very few of us actually ever become adults. We stay as children and we stay in that, in that child archetype. We always look to authority if figures to give us what we need. And, and we don't want to think critically. I mean, we're both proponents of critical thinking. Um, but how much do we actually action that? We take so much from ah people who we think are gurus like Jordan Peterson or OSHA or Paul check or any of these kind of people um and then it It takes Only only it for a lot of us it doesn't take a small thing a lot of us will ignore
01:05:45
Speaker
um ignore things that we we disagree with at a deeper level because we think that they're right about everything that they say. And so again, the reason why I bring up Osho and that quote, is that I'm sure maybe a lot of people have seen that documentary, Wild Wild Country, where basically, um I think it's Shiva. I haven't finished watching it, but I i know what happens. And she basically starts this cult, and Osho's got like 50 Rolls Royces or something, and he's wearing like, he's got like ah wt an armful of Rolexes, and he's there saying like, no one wants to become adult, and everyone everyone wants to listen to an authority figure.
01:06:25
Speaker
and he just leaves while she takes over this cult and basically and in the end no one got the message that he was saying because they were all in this cult trying to eat up everything that he was saying, that he wasn't wasn't even, he wasn't even there anymore, I don't think. And in the end, I think that everyone got taught a lesson. Maybe they, for for a lot of people that lesson wouldn't have occurred for them, but it's like, we just want everyone to be our guru or our ah leader or, you know, some sort of magical person when really we need to constantly ask ourselves and yeah, it's intuitive, right?
01:07:09
Speaker
Totally. Yeah. I don't know who said it, but... um Gosh, where did I hear this? it's just um Somebody said that they when we do that, when we pedestalize or when we put someone you know external to ourselves on on like a higher plane, they will be divinely guided to disappoint us generally. like It's only a matter of time. and i i mean I think that that happened with a lot of people over COVID stuff with Jordan Peterson. I think that was like, there's
01:07:44
Speaker
it's almost laughable in some ways like how this stuff plays out anytime we're externalizing our power anytime we're outsourcing our power to something outside of us and it's so funny how you know we go from waking up inside the matrix and we're like i'm gonna exit the matrix and like the government and all these you know like yeah so you've just a lot of the time what will happen is we'll just like take that sort of materialistic sort of behavior pattern, whatever, and slap it on the spiritual one. or yes And so it's like the same like spiritual materialism is like these patterns just like yeah we have to become more and more adept and and skilled at recognizing the patterns and really getting to the truth, like the root of what's going on. And for me, it's just discernment over and over again. And the only way we can really, I mean, what makes discernment easier for me is being connected to myself.
01:08:35
Speaker
I don't think we realize how disconnected we are from our true selves. A lot of people walk around, they don't even know they're wearing a mask. They don't even know that they're like hiding their true selves from themselves. um And I think that that's we're just scratching the surface of this sort of, like like I was talking about earlier, this evolutionary sort of like impulse where we're all being guided into higher states of awareness, more expanded awareness. And yeah, there is no path. Like there is no one outside of us that is going to show us, right? Like I signed up at this point, like I can clearly say like I signed up to be a lighthouse. Like I am a guide. I am a messenger. I'm a way shower. But what does that really mean? Like it doesn't mean that I have the answers that I don't experience suffering that I'm not, you know, just having a hard time sometimes, right?
01:09:24
Speaker
it my job is to heal and to grow and to evolve and so that I can be of service to others. like That's what I signed up for, and that makes me feel fulfilled. like That's what I'm here for, that kind of thing. and It's been this journey of becoming more authentically myself, which is something that you have been touching on a lot lately, and I really appreciate the way that you step into that. The more we do that, we are vibrating at a frequency that is love, right? And so then physical reality doesn't really have any other options except for to reflect that back to us. It's pooling, it's going to pool all the people and the opportunities and the stuff, you know, the Rolls Royces and the Rolexes, a lot of shit is going to get, you know, it's like a magnet. We are here, we are naturally abundant. Like we are, yeah, not here to just, um yeah, like,
01:10:15
Speaker
like work and then die or, you know, suffer or play this weird healing game, healing and healing and healing and healing. and yeah no like Yeah, like we can just be present and maybe just the more like enlightenment to me, like the definition that works for me these days is literally just being unbothered. But I'm unbothered by whatever is going on. Like, how can I get to a point where I'm like, unbothered? Like, oh, that's crazy. That's a big, loud, nasty thing happening. Like, how do I look inside and I get back into alignment here? You know what I mean? And create more peace within myself. And that's what makes me more resourced.
01:10:51
Speaker
and able to navigate like the nasty, crazy, weird stuff that's happening in the external, which is just a reflection of you know stuff I haven't looked at on the inside of me. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. It reminds me of um this s saying sitting in the in the tension of opposites. And so when we're talking again about polarity, right? We're talking about polarity in one sense, but um Again, when we're polarized, uh, like I have been a bit lately with myself, uh, then we,
01:11:27
Speaker
if we can't sit in the tension of that, if we can't sit between loving and not loving ourselves or you know, being extremist in one way, or when we see whatever country is being bombed at the moment on the news or whatever new um virus or fake viruses out. I mean, yeah or or yeah, it's, it's, it's, we have to sit with that and yeah, that's hard. I'm not there. Well, and it's only going to get weirder and crazier. I think like I have a feeling it's going to get even whackier. Like you think it's been wacky. I have because in, and that's.
01:12:06
Speaker
a reflection of how much is still um unrecognized, I think, within the collective. It's got to get insanely wacky and crazy in order for more of us to sort of open our eyes and look inside and say, wait a minute, something's off here. like this isn't supportive of the human spirit or the earth or nature or what really makes me happy? And and when am I at my happiness? And and then like what is the point of life? you know like We're all starting to ask these more existential sort of questions and that sort of thing. And that's kind of why I've got this like metaphysical membership because
01:12:47
Speaker
these are, they it's going to continue. like It's going to get louder. like These questions are going to get more and more interesting. At least that's my perception of of how it's going to go. um Yeah. and and And that's just where we're at in our evolution, I think. It's just that it has to be that way. Can we sit in the trigger in the storm and find more peace? And and it's you know you ask, you sit and you write your manifestations on the new moon and you say, what do I want in my life? I want more peace and I want more love. Well, don't be surprised if the universe throws you the most ridiculous situation that is going to rattle and shake every
01:13:28
Speaker
part of your piece, right? Like how else will we cultivate that without the opposite, the dualistic, like you're saying, like sitting in paradox is so uncomfortable. Acting from confusion or that place of, um yeah, when you're all stirred up and that sort of thing is in my experience, never good for my evolution. Like every time the clarity comes from being, yeah, like accepting and surrendering and letting it go. Um, and really, yeah. Is that two things? Did you see that painting of, I think, is it King Charles now? Like the new painting that they hung in his house and when, yeah. And when they invert it and then put them side by side, there's like a clear picture of like a demon in there.
01:14:17
Speaker
i don't know, but you know, he did like, um, he was doing an interview or press conference or something recently. And I swear to God, it was like, it looked like he had just drank blood. Like, yeah is this are we serious? Like, look at this stuff. Like, it literally looked like he just came from like a ritual where he was like drinking some blood or something. There's a clip of Alex Jones at the moment. He's like, he's the, he's the, um, He's the lineage of Count Dracula and he's living in Count Dracula's castle and he's just moved in there and it's like, oh man. And you've just said that, so that's weird. Now I feel like kind of, yeah, that's my own trigger. Like I'm now being lumped in here. It was a good thing or a bad thing that Alex and I have the same perception, but yeah, like energetically, I was like, it's crazy when
01:15:07
Speaker
Yeah, there's like his physical appearance, but energetically, I was like, did you string blood? Like it literally looked like it was in his teeth. I was like, this is, but speaking of like the royal family and the paintings, all that stuff, like all of these characters, because that's what they are in my mind. It's just like, we have to care about them in order for them to exist. Well, they're also supposed to represent, uh, like divine lineage, right? Like they're supposed to be ancestors of, of some biblical figure. I can't remember exactly who it is, but like, and we're still believing that.
01:15:41
Speaker
watch I don't know where you're going with that. I was like, oh I don't, I just think it's, I just think that having a ah monarchy that really serves, even really serves no purpose anymore. It served a purpose once no longer does. Like why do we even still do it? Yeah, I don't know. I wasn't there when it apparently served a purpose. So I actually don't know. Like, I don't know how I feel about all of that. And it is, it's so wacky. I mean, I am like a total Anglophile. I freaking love it. I've always loved it. I will like follow it because I think it's fascinating. Yeah. We ship these humans who they don't even, you know what I mean? And the whole Kate Middleton thing is so, it's just really fun to me. Um, but also there's this other side where it's kind of like, these are people and.
01:16:25
Speaker
Yeah, it's just there's a lot of darkness. I think it's just so fascinating. Yeah, on the on the grand scheme of things and our reaction to it and how we sit with all of it like you're saying is I think what dictates the next move um and that sort of you know, like how wacky and wild it gets but yeah, I don't ever feel like scared. um It will be interesting because I'm sure, you know, I do remember feeling really scared during COVID because I didn't know how the world was going to change. I wasn't scared that, you know, I was going to have to do something I didn't want to do. Like that, you know, like, no, you try, try me. It was like, was where I was at for most of that. But like, I just wasn't sure how I was going to fit into the world. And if I was going to find people who thought like me or who felt the way that I felt, because for a long time there was no one.
01:17:21
Speaker
But, um, yeah. How does someone begin to. get more comfortable with because to me, there's an ideology of being able to not feel scared or not feel ah any negative emotions, not feel sadness or not feel ah guilt or shame or all of these things. But how does, if if I think sometimes we have to sit in that, right?
01:17:56
Speaker
and then so if we may yeah Maybe I'm answering my own question here, but do you have a take on how people get to the point of, if people can achieve that sitting, getting beyond that point, um, and staying, staying there, um, not ever experiencing those things again. I don't know if anyone can actually do that. Um, but how do they start? Hmm. Yeah, I don't know if that, um, yeah. I do know people who are on that path where their whole mission in life is to transcend suffering. You know, I've met lots of yogis, ah they're sitting in ashrams in India, you know, studying. Yeah, not doing any. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like, yeah, just trying to translate. And you know what that is, it serves, right? Like I don't, I don't feel a draw to do that kind of thing because my suffering and um my shame and that sort of thing has
01:18:55
Speaker
been such a catalyst for my own growth and my own evolution. Um, yeah, I don't, I don't know. Like I think a lot, like what if society, what if there wasn't shame? I think society would become like inherently narcissistic if we didn't have some level of like healthy shame associated, right? Yeah, completely. feels Yeah. Like guilt feels a little bit unnecessary in some ways. Like it seems like a waste of energy. sometimes to feel guilt. But I mean, I'm sure that it serves in some capacity on some level um in certain doses, like all of all of these concepts do, I guess. But yeah, I think to to i think that's
01:19:38
Speaker
like to start, it's, it's just surrendering to what it is and letting it go. It's this almost moment by moment sort of retraining of recognizing and being with and being in it and then letting it go. You know, you could talk about somatics and like all types of, you know, trauma integration and that kind of stuff. And that serves like I have had to learn how to feel my feelings and not intellectualize my feelings that it was so much safer for me especially as a kid to be in my mind and explain to myself like educate myself like why could somebody treat me this way like i had to dig in and understand people psychologically like again logic my way and i was bypassing a lot of those emotions and they get trapped in my body and so
01:20:26
Speaker
there's like this big journey of sort of digging in and figuring out what's repressed in my body because that's probably causing most of my physical symptoms, right? I was rejecting my own femininity and my own um inherent nature for a long time. My body was trying to get me back on track and and seeing it all as a gift. I think that's like a thing. And then being met in these spaces of safety, you know, like love and compassion. I think that's like my work one-on-one with people has been that it's just been meeting people over and over and over again, the repetition of you're safe to feel whatever it is you're feeling, whatever you're feeling is valid. um and And really like trusting yourself in your own read of a situation or yeah, like making choices for yourself that feel good to you and um
01:21:16
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, such a big conversation, like how to start. I think it's different for everyone. um Yeah. I like it. I like it. I think um i think that's why I like EFT because that was the first thing that taught me um you know actually how to how to feel something instead of just intellectualizing it or thinking about the thought of it. Because once you name it, and then once you start to feel whereabouts in your body, you feel it, and then you describe the feeling and give it a subjective rating, yes that's basically the process of it.
01:21:52
Speaker
And then shifting it. Yeah, and a lot of it is just shifting between these states of consciousness, you know, when you're operating at a certain frequency, shifting into another state is actually like that's a skill. It's, it's really fascinating because I like, there were a couple of weeks um recently where I was like in an experience where I just like stopped laughing and things were very different in this experience for me. I was, I was like a very different version of myself and I had not met that version of myself in a very, very long time, like years. And it was so interesting when you go into it, because it's not like once you expand to a certain level of consciousness, you like,
01:22:34
Speaker
yeah i don't I mean you can like fall down the ladder it's being a motion and all that kind of stuff but it's like you you meet these like patterns over and over again you know the spiral with this expanded state of awareness it's not the same experience. I like recognized very quickly and did not slip into some like coping old pattern, you know, trauma responses and things like that and because I have this different like perspective now. So it's just like shifting from one consciousness to the next like you're saying like holding yourself in the paradox like consciousness is both and.
01:23:10
Speaker
this thing can be really difficult and a struggle and it hurts or whatever and What is also true is? Everything is for my highest good and the growth of all and you know all of these things It's like really holding yourself in that paradigm. I think it's a skill. It's a muscle. It's like a spiritual muscle I think that we can we can grow and practice and it changes it makes navigating physical reality so much different in my opinion and Yeah, super, super interesting, big conversation, I think. Yeah, very cool. Do you meditate?
01:23:47
Speaker
I should. I do, yeah. i yeah yeah and And especially like we were just talking like there are five planets in Gemini, there's a new moon, there's a lot of like crazy energies, like that is one of my tools in my toolbox. Yeah, absolutely. I do a lot of like neuroplasticity work too, like reprogramming subconscious beliefs. I do, I'm really visual. So my Claire, my Claire's are very like on And so I'll reprogram memories a lot that way, like guiding people through quantum meditations. Meditation is definitely a tool in my toolbox. Sometimes I do it like every day for three months, and then I'll go two weeks, three weeks without even thinking of it. I do a lot of breath work.
01:24:25
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, cool. um the the The reason that I asked, and I think you probably already answered the question, but um I think that part of the purpose of meditation is like the things that pop up for us when we're sitting with ourselves are triggers, right? Like you start thinking about what so-and-so did to piss you off or what you did to hurt so-and-so or whatever it is, but If you are conscious and present all the time, then and then you can start to turn life into a meditation, right? Like if you're just living your life and then saying, what are the things that I can yeah maybe not learn from or
01:25:08
Speaker
What are the things that I can do better? Might be another way to put it. Yeah, I was just about to say that I think my life has turned into a very, because I i like into every single moment of my life is intuitive. I don't even know where I'm going to sleep this weekend. Like I just know it's going to work out. It always does. like yeah it's i i I slow down to the point where I can like feel the the earth under my feet in every step as often as I can. And that's not to say that it's like that every single moment that I'm not like fully present, but that's how I've chosen.
01:25:41
Speaker
to navigate this part of my life. I don't you know know it' if it will always be that way, but like very much operating within this fifth dimensional consciousness where it's like my vibration where I'm at on the scale of consciousness is going to dictate what I experience. And I know that if I'm too far in the future or if I'm hanging out in the past, you know, that person, what they said or what that thing is triggering in me, it's not going to read like my, the reflection, this mirror that is reality, it's not going to be one that I enjoy up in there. Like I just don't really like it. And so literally in every moment it's how can I love myself a little more? And in doing that, it makes it a lot easier to love everyone that I encounter or all the situations that I'm navigating.
01:26:27
Speaker
these very uncomfortable sort of things that that pop up that are yeah like yeah like sometimes I guess I don't know I'm just thinking about like the the discomfort because I don't encounter that much discomfort. It's just, I just don't think about it very much these days. Like it's, yeah, like I've intentionally crafted my life to look the way that it does and feel the way that it does. And I i really like it. And that's possible. I guess my point is like, it's possible for us to turn life into a meditation and, um, yeah, like a growth experience. What an adventure. Very good. Where can people reach you?
01:27:05
Speaker
They can reach me. Um, I'm on, I'm everywhere. I'm on Instagram at erin.gunselman. I have a website eringunselman.com and yeah, my podcast metaphysical gravity. Perfect. Oh, and Patreon too. Yeah. I'm on Patreon. Okay. Can people find your Patreon through um Instagram or yeah, all the other links. Yeah. All the links are there in my bio and yeah. Yeah. Lots more are coming on all of this. That's in the works. Very good. I'm excited to see. Thanks. Yeah. For this conversation. What a good one. Thank you too.