Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Episode 1: The Ghost Ship
521 Plays10 months ago
The KSS Hoodoo's first shakedown run is a rescue mission. The Kobayashi Maru and Captain Morrigan have gone missing in the Rutherford Expanse. However, one of the ship's Tactical Soong-Type Holograms has begun to malfunction and is causing a few problems on the ship.
Recommended
Transcript
Mission of the KSS Hoodoo
00:00:02
Speaker
Space. The Heartless Darkness. These are the records of the starship Hoodoo, its task to secure, contain, and protect against the entities and phenomena that pose a threat to the people of the United Socialist Khanate. Always resolved to boldly go where no one dares.
Introduction to Dartrek Cast
00:00:28
Speaker
We are Khan.
00:00:33
Speaker
Dartrek, starring narrator, Hip Hallman, Captain Shaka Khan, Tabeka Hernandez-Rigmaiden, Commander Leela Desai, Vicky Sayal, Lieutenant Sochi Metzli, Nikayla Hoops, Lieutenant Natima Hadar, Chloe Lewis, Lieutenant Amethyst Skye, Jennifer Nichols, Specialist D'Artagnan Bebop-Washington, Sean Kapiloff-Jones. Specialist Seepak Delanomat, Sam Ramos. Crewman Jorge Miguel Falco Diaz, David Goins. Crewman Jake Eku-Freeman, Rizik Brown. Hollow Leo Chamanucca, Bongani Malombo. Weightland 9R, Michael Dobson.
00:01:26
Speaker
Hollow Dreadbear, Leopold Knop and Chris Crow, Hollow Rosie, Cody Brooks, Hollow Guild, Ruth Hinkle, featuring Thaddeus Howes as Chairman Sisko. Episode one, The Ghost Ship, written by Rosique Brown and Ruth Hinkle, edited by Chris Crow.
Mission Briefing and Strategy
00:01:51
Speaker
Inside the briefing room of the KSS Hoodoo, Commander Leela Desai stands before a view screen. The image of Chairman Sisko flickers in the view, his demeanor calm and unreadable. So, you got me out here, Ben. I'm on your precious ghost ship. Real original, by the way. Now tell me, what are we actually doing out here? Oh, you know. Explore a strange new worlds. Seek out new life and civilizations to boldly go where... Cut the shit, Ben. The Rutherford Expanse is empty except for ruins, abandoned Ferengi colonies, and religious settlers from the Khanate and Confederacy. You just named quite a bit, actually.
00:02:33
Speaker
Commander Desai, every piece of this mission is crucial. Be patient. Right now I'm waiting on your captain before I debrief you. Don't insult me. What I don't understand is why you need a spy vessel filled with deadly holograms to go into the expanse. You don't need to know, Commander. and Narrator? Hi, it's Vicky. I use projected telepathy on the chairman to divine his motives. Chamin Siska was a cosmic being and your boss. You automatically failed with the complication. No.
00:03:11
Speaker
As your mind connects to the chairman, a psychic firewall of hellish nightmares consumes your thoughts. Roll for insight and command to exert control over your own mind. The score to beat is 13. Seven. Success.
00:03:30
Speaker
Commander Desai stumbles slightly and grips the nearby desk as she holds her head. I believe I told you to be patient and wait for your captain, Romulan.
Dreadbear's Chaos Unleashed
00:03:40
Speaker
Don't make me repeat myself. Aye, Chairman. Yo, this crew is something else, Chairman. This is the music and all crew. Be advised, there is a rampaging teddy bear hologram on the ship. Do not hug him. I repeat, do not hug him. What? Let's go. Wait, you haven't been briefed yet. It's Dreadbear, though. The only reason he's in the Khanate is because I've- This is the Khanate Coalition. Your crew can handle a rampaging teddy bear. Okay. But Chairman- Eyes on the prize, Romulan. Eyes on the prize, Romulan.
00:04:25
Speaker
The KSS Kobayashi Buru appears on the view screen with an image of a middle-aged blonde woman wearing an eye patch in the Conde office's uniform.
Captain Morrigan's Disappearance
00:04:33
Speaker
Captain Karen Morrigan and the Maru went missing in the Rutherford expanse after searching for a classified research object two weeks ago. Long-range scans indicate there was a skirmish between the Maru and the Confederate vessels on the edge of the neutral zone. We found nothing since. Which crow was she searching for? That's classified. You'll find out if you recover. it Wait, what? Okay, so the Confederates kidnapped one of ours. We are con. We don't get kidnapped. Terrans win or die. Exactly my thoughts. Terranships don't go missing. They leave debris in their wake. Theirs or someone else's.
00:05:14
Speaker
So the ship was either attacked by the Confederates or something else happened. I bet it's something else. Karen's always been a blunt and ambitious little weasel. She could have turned traitor. Romulans, trust and verify. No one would be stupid enough
Investigation in Rutherford Expanse
00:05:30
Speaker
to try and deceive the god chairman. Yeah, only an idiot would do that. Just chairman, captain. But yes, you've ascertained the nature of the problem. We need to know what really happened.
00:05:45
Speaker
Uh, Captain, a drip air started a fire in the kitchen. He what? I think he tried to make a souffle and then mauled the chef. Something has rung with his command and hospitality protocols. He's acting like a real bear for some reason. Oh shit, that's part of his security protocols. Long story, just keep up the good work, crewman. Sister Spears! I mean, yes, Captain. Cisco strokes his gold team. That's my favorite epithet. Chairman, can't you just use your space Jesus powers to find the Maru? Well, that's classified. I'm a section 13 commander. It can't be classified from me. I've sent you the coordinates to start searching. That should be enough. Wait a minute. Classified my ass. Something out there is stopping your foresight, isn't it?
00:06:38
Speaker
I'm having trouble viewing portions of the Rutherford Expanse from the Celestial Temple, yes. But that's why I commissioned the Hoodoo to chase anomalies for me. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wow. Something that can stop even the chairman. Yeah, something that can even stop the chairman. Not quite the god you thought he was, huh? I mean, I can't believe I get to be the eyes and ears of the Emissary to the Prophets. Paldor, Ella back, you feel me? but The Jorans.
00:07:23
Speaker
Crewman, Jake Echo Freeman, call sign Sherlock, runs down a corridor. Tread there, slow down. There's no way. There's no way an actual teddy bear can run this fast. His short, dreadlocked hair bounces against his trill spots as he chases a teddy bear hologram wearing a red carne jumps. Seriously, dude, I just got this job. I can't afford to get fired. I am so broke. Oh, bother. This isn't the forest at all.
Confronting Dreadbear
00:07:56
Speaker
Where are my friends?
00:07:58
Speaker
It's just the ship, Dreadbear. Look, if we can just... Where's Christopher? He must be scared! Dreadbear, stop! That's not the way!
00:08:12
Speaker
Captain Khan and Commander Desai step out in the corridor. Captain Khan smacks Dreadbear in the nose.
00:08:25
Speaker
Dreadbear sits on the floor and grabs his nose, stunned. Sherlock, I thought you had this under control. What happened? I don't know. He touched something in the crow's nest. Alert. Alert. Rampaging bear on ship. Rampaging bear on ship.
00:08:47
Speaker
Oh! Rampaging bear! Christopher! I'm coming! Shit! Wait! Wait up!
00:09:04
Speaker
I love this job. I'm not sure if you're aware, Captain, but these Soong-type holograms are dangerous. Life is life, and life is dangerous. You're the Liberator, you taught me that. I taught you to protect the sanctity of life in the Beta Quadrant Reckoner, not toasters and game characters. Ah, senpai.
00:09:33
Speaker
Sherlock to engineering. Dreadbearer is headed your way. We're ready for him, crewman Rosie. Raise shields on my mark. Where are you plating the honey? Dreadbearer charges into the room. Chief engineer and the team of her dog towers over the console as she watches the tiny bed. Her eyes are stern and she's caught gaslighting. Hold steady, Rosie. Wait until he's in position. Now. Rosie, the ship's tactical engineering hologram with shaggy hair, initiates the containment protocol. His yellow eyes flash as a force field sprouts dread beer. That should hold him for a while, sir. You can't trap me! I'm smarter than the average bear! Isn't that a Yogi bear line? She was holding.
00:10:23
Speaker
ah So I think Dreadbearer would feel backed into a corner here. I think he's gonna try and shut down the warp core. That's gonna be a science and reason role. Dreadbearer is a command hollow and not an engineer. The score to beat is nine. Not his best skills. Oh shit, six. Play through. This ship isn't going anywhere until I find my little boy! Shit, I've been locked out of the ship systems. The warp drive is shutting down.
Repairing Dreadbear's Damage
00:10:54
Speaker
You better believe it! So is his program hallucinating lines from other cartoons, or... Was it should holograms start turning in? Not video game characters. Spec Washington. Hollow Rose and Krantz. Lessner divergence, more fixing things, please.
00:11:11
Speaker
Aye. Bebop, what's the status of containment? Specialist D'Artagnan, Washington. Call sign Bebop is the hoodoo, shipwright, and Tetsuchian pilot. An Orion man with red, kinky hair scans through data logs. Sir, Dreadbed has command access to security systems. I'm hacking the system to fend him off, but I don't know how long it can keep up. Here's the ship's tactical command holograms. That totally makes sense. Damn. Engineering to Captain Khan, can you freeze out the command hologram's access? Already tried. He's locked me out. I have an idea. Keep the frequency of the shields on constant rotation in different light spectrum bands. The shields hold. Dreadbear is contained. Dreadbear has access to the ship's systems, right?
00:12:06
Speaker
Yes, he does. Uh, Dreadbear's eyes turns toward the ceiling. um Bits of him become vapor and he starts to disappear. He's going to try and move digitally through the computer to get to the warp core. I'll allow it. You are even going to make him roll for it? Nah, deal with it.
00:12:29
Speaker
fire Okay, maybe something is wrong with the old bear. Engineering to science. The command hologram hijacked our systems and is trying to get to the warp core. This is science in the containment deck. We're aware of the problem. If you're aware, Doc, then fix it. um Let's reroute his programming so that he's forced to materialize out of the hollow middle's insecurity to get him away from the warp core. Very well.
00:13:01
Speaker
Due to the urgency and complexity of this task, this will be a difficulty of two, so you'll roll two dice. Dr. Leo has a focus in artificial life work. Ah, of course. That reduces the difficulty to one. Roll for control plus engineering. Your dice roll must be 15 or below.
00:13:24
Speaker
Four. Success. Because you've turned off all hollow emitters, except for those between security and the CIO's nest, holograms are on other parts of the ship go offline. Including Rosen.
00:13:40
Speaker
Musica? Yes, Dr. Shemluca. Once Dreadbear materializes in security, lead his hard light form into the crow's nest. Once he's there, you can help us figure out how to treat him. And, um, how am I supposed to do that? Are you not a hollow repairman? I am. Then that's your job to figure out. Not mine. ri We are We are con? Eku, the true symbion living inside Jake Freeman, grumbles. I never liked that man when he was alive. Shut up, Eku. Let's try to not get fired on the first day.
00:14:23
Speaker
Lieutenant Metzli, a tall and wiry Klingon, dons her iron maiden, a mechanized suit designed for precision warfare. Guild, the tactical security hologram, watches through thick glasses she doesn't need. Guild, you can possess robots and impulse-framed technology, correct? Why don't you suit up with me? Don't need it. I don't have organs to protect like you do, Lieutenant. I'm not sure if conventional warfare will work to subdue Dreadbear. Besides, I'm tough enough on my own. I'll believe it when I see it. It takes a real woman with real courage to win a battle. No offense, Security Hologram.
00:15:07
Speaker
Oh, I don't get offended. I don't have the brain chemicals for it. I also don't get scared or make mistakes in the heat of battle. Right. What do you know about this hologram guild? We haven't met yet, but his file says he's the size of a teddy bear. Then we shall overpower him quickly. I'm not so sure. His file also says he has the strength, instincts, and fighting ability of an American black bear.
00:15:36
Speaker
Christopher! Why, he's just a little toy. He's no match for us. Can I roll to scare the shit out of these two? Absolutely. You'll roll against Metzli and Guild for a difficulty of three. This will test your presence and command. Each roll needs to be 15 or below to succeed. Five, twelve, and fourteen. Now, Metzli and Guild make your rolls against Dreadbear.
00:16:06
Speaker
Seven, 15, four. 13, eight, and 16, damn. Lieutenant Xochitl Latore Metzli, driven by her c Klingon warrior spirit, shrugs off Dread Bears roar. Challenge accepted. Guild, however, is momentarily stunned by Dread Bears ferocity. Her yellow eyes, why? Jinkies, it's so strong.
00:16:36
Speaker
Lieutenant Metzli rushes Dreadbear, taking a ferocious swing at him. Just as her weapon connects, he phases through. Where is my boy? Dreadbear solidifies as he launches himself at Metzli. He backhands her with a small paw with oversized claws. She reels in pain and surprise. Oh, what the fuck is this? Gil recovers from her initial shock, her analytical mind piercing together her next move. No more hijinks, Dreadbear. It's time to stop. Narrator, can I create hardlight projections that can hit Dreadbear? Sure, since your positronic brain syncs to ship systems, including hollow emitters. Using Guild's extensive knowledge of Old Earth cartoons, Guild will shoot kinetic hardlight energy blasts out of her glasses like Cyclops from The X-Men.
00:17:30
Speaker
We'll make this a difficulty of one using your control and security status. The number to beat is 12. Okay, that's hilarious. How is she doing this exactly? You're both holograms on a ship filled with hollow emitters. This is basically like the wizard fight from Sword and the Stone. I let you turn into smoke, didn't I? Alright. And, Guild has a focus in marksmanship. The difficulty has been reduced to zero. Roll to gain momentum.
00:18:01
Speaker
One. Hell yeah. Success. Your eyes glow red. Wait, can I dodge this? Nah, dude. She rolled a one. She's got you dead to rights. Guild grins at Dreadbear as she touches one side of her glasses. Process this in your error log. A red beam of light cuts through the air and hits Dreadbear squarely in the chest, stunning him. Nice shot, Guild. Jake finally arrives at the security deck after making his way through several de departments. Let's get him to the crow's desk.
00:18:46
Speaker
The heart of the KSS Hoodoo is where classified research objects known as C.I.O.s are contained. The C.I.O.s nest is the domain of Dr. Leo Chaminuka, AKA a the Mad Genie. law
00:19:02
Speaker
A forklift surrounds Dreadbear in the containment unit designed to hold anomalies. We should just delete and reboot him. Negative, comrade. I'm not deleting my friend. There's gotta be another way. Beyond ethical implications? We can't risk it. Dreadbear's consciousness is embedded in ship-wide functions. We can't just root him out without consciousness. Like I said, you can't trust Soong-type holograms. They are a threat to us all. I am a Soong-type hologram. Exactly! You're about to get us all killed to save a talking fucking teddy bear!
00:19:38
Speaker
Ugh, Emissary, get a room, you two. The bickering, I mean, come on. Let me think for a second. Okay. Um, since Dreadbear is a hologram with a positronic brain, like the other tactical holograms on board, the problem might be psychological in nature.
Exploring Dreadbear's Consciousness
00:19:58
Speaker
Jake's eyes glaze over as he is possessed by a symbiote, Eggman. Your captain is right. One of my former hosts was a neurologist. This programming reminds me of brain computer interfaces. Let's me take a look. It seems that his consciousness is stuck in a database located here called CRO900HA3AR.
00:20:23
Speaker
It's interacting with the force fields while Dreadbear's photonic daemon is caught in an old recursive loop. I will tear you all apart! That database is Dreadbear's positonic brain. All of the TH brains are contained there. The real dreadbear is probably the one actively maintaining the force field, frequent the The fucking body problem. Let me get this straight. The thing we need to make the ship move is stuck in a tin can while it's go-shade thing wreaks havoc on the ship. That's a bit of an oversimplification. Yes or no, Leopold.
00:21:02
Speaker
Basically, yes. It's worth the risk, Captain. We should shut this thing down and reboot it. We can apologize to Dreadbear later. He probably won't even remember it. If it's like a shade, then maybe we need to perform a seance. Now is not the time for religion, Captain. See, the Prophets exist in all time and all space, Commander. But I'm not suggesting magic. Use your telepathic abilities. You are the ship's counselor, after all. Fucking... so counsel. That's it, Leela.
00:21:38
Speaker
Reach out to his mind and help it connect to his telepathic body. Commander Desai, hologram. Of course, commander. Besides, that's insane. A positronic brain is just a piece of hardware. It doesn't have a soul. Ah, come on. Give it the old academy try, commander. That's an order. Desai takes a deep breath and focuses, using her ability, Remful, telepathic projection. Dreadbear, can you hear me? I'm so sorry to have been a bother this morning. It seems I've gotten stuck in my positronic brain like a big bone bear stuck in an overly small tree. Dreadbear?
00:22:27
Speaker
What is going on with you? Dr. Chamanuka asked me to help you. C-R-O-T-1-K-A-P-L-8, because it was dangerous to the organic crew. The next thing I knew I felt a great resonance, which is strange because I don't normally feel things. Yes, Trevor, what did you feel?
00:22:53
Speaker
I... I... Well, then I found myself here, watching my cuddly body cause the most awful ruckus. I... If I were in my body, I would put myself as a brig, damn it. Doctor, you asked a crow to directly come in contact with another crow? What the fuck's wrong with you? I certainly didn't want an organic to touch it. Look what it did to Dreadbear. So, doctor, now that we're here, how am I supposed to move a patient's consciousness into a body made of light? The body scan meditation. Remember when we used to... I know what a body scan is. He doesn't have a body. And the body scan meditation doesn't actually scan your body, Commander. It helps a person practice mindfulness.
00:23:49
Speaker
Let the mind do the work, and it will scan for the body. Are you serious? I'm always serious. Dreadbear, I want you to close your eyes. I don't have eyes, and I can't use the eyes of my holographic body.
00:24:10
Speaker
Dreadbear, imagine that you were a real bear in Close Your Eyes. I'm uploading a 3D asset of a bear and some subroutines to help you focus. Oh, okay, yes yes. I have closed my eyes, Commander. Wonderful. Now I want you to breathe in and out very slowly. But I can't breathe in an outcarrier. Broky Strudbear, imagine digital air going into your digital bear lungs. Oh, okay.
00:24:56
Speaker
Breathe in and breathe out.
Telepathic Connection with Dreadbear
00:25:03
Speaker
Now move your attention to one single part of your body you want to investigate. Dreadbear attempts to move his arm and fails. It's okay, Dreadbear. There's no rush. There's no ship. There is just you and your head. Be patient. Wait to see if you feel any buzzing or tingling sensations. Dreadbear successfully moves his head.
00:25:31
Speaker
head oh joy Dreadbear begins to move his head. His voice ceases to come out of the CRO's and his speakers and comes from his hologram. The hologram's body still savagely attacks the force field. Okay, Dreadbear. I know your past trauma is a part of you. It's written into your code. It's what makes you, you. But I need you to move your focus from your head to your limbs. Dreadbear successfully moves his limbs. And now, your entire body. Dreadbear successfully moves his torso.
00:26:12
Speaker
Uh, at this point Dreadbear just starts to gyrate his belly. Oh joy! I feel like my old self again! Thank God he's a teddy bear. He doesn't have too many parts. Captain, if you'd like me to stay in the CRO's nest for punishment and observation, I'd be happy to oblige. Lower the force fields, Doc. Dreadbear isn't the first person I know to fuck up on the job. Thank you, Captain. The force field lowers and Dreadbear stands there, looking sheepish but relieved. Bridge to Captain Khan. Go ahead, Skye.
Responding to Distress Signal
00:26:51
Speaker
Captain, I'm picking up a distress signal from the Kobayashi Maru. We're five hours away from the source of the signal at maximum warp. I'll meet you on the bridge.
00:27:02
Speaker
All right, Musikur, get to the hangar bay and make sure the other Tetrajan pilots are prepared for battle at 0500. Aye. Waitland, get those Ironmen ready. We need to be prepared for whatever we're warping into. Siempre listo, Captain. Waitland, the tactical repair bot harries the Tetrajan pilots of the food. Like all repair units, he's compact and robust with a rounded helmeted head and bright lights for eyes. His personality, however, is one of a kind. Freeman, where the hell is Diaz? Don't ask me, Sarge. I was chasing a rogue hologram all morning and didn't have time to pay attention to George Michael. Poor Hey Miguel Diaz callsign Falco, a dashingly handsome half-clingon saunters into the hang of it.
00:27:57
Speaker
He lazily zips up his suit as soon as he enters. It took you all morning to catch a teddy bear, Freeman. Didn't you go to command school? Shut up, Falco. And why exactly were you out of uniform, Crewman Diaz? Uh, Ensign Loveless needed a uniform inspection. Falco, priorities. But Sarge, she's a superior officer. st Striker Jorge Miguel Diaz, getting your testogen now.
00:28:31
Speaker
seatpo the teogen pilot's medic and researcher rushes into the hangout bay with the data pad in hand his face displaying a mix of urgency and frustration What now, Barbara? We've got a problem with the Archimedes' stabilizers. It's not gonna fly. Head to the bridge and see if you can be useful there, then. Where's Bebop? The shipwright is still dealing with the repairs and engineering. So we can't fly the O'Brien? Cefal checks his datapad. Nope, repair is still uninjured. Falco, did you at least run diagnostics on the Keshek before playing grab-ass? Almost done, Sarge. Like I said, I was a little... Just get it done, Jockey. Sherlock, tell me. The Baba Yagi is ready and good to go, sir. Cefalco, maybe you should spin your mornings chasing bears instead of tail. Lucky me, I get to fly with Falco today.
00:29:24
Speaker
You fucking love it, Sherlock. Don't even pretend this is going to be special.
00:29:31
Speaker
An hour later, the hoodoo approaches the source of the distress signal. Lieutenant Amethyst Skye sits at the con, her purple crystalline form shimmering. Captain, I've located the Kobayashi Maru. There are also three Confederate Syndicate ships nearby. Two Tellarite and one Vulcan. Alright, tell me about the Maru's position and the configuration of the Confederados. The Tellarite and Vulcan ships appear to be in a standoff with the Kobayashi Maru, Captain. All ships are holding position.
00:30:02
Speaker
I suggest we deploy the quantum cloak before dropping out of warp, Captain. I still think Karen's a traitorous bitch. Captain, word of caution. If we warp into the area, our cloak will conceal us, but our warp signature will be detectable. So we can hide, but not completely? Precisely, Captain. They'll know someone is there, just not who we're where. That's fine. We'll just jingle some keys in their face to distract them. Captain.
00:30:33
Speaker
Skye, proceed under cloak. Let's trust, but verify the situation. See what I did there, Senpai? Commander Desai rolls her eyes. Adjusting course, Captain. With the quantum cloak engaged, the CSS hoodoo glides silently through the void of space. A ghost ship confronting the unknown.
00:31:01
Speaker
All right, so we need to engage without revealing our position. Let's test out our iron men, shall we? I like your thinking, Captain. All right, jockeys. I want your tatsugens outside the ship and engaging the enemy as soon as we drop out of war. Listos? Listo. Good. Falco, you will interface with Waitland to directly engage the Kobayashi Maru. She will see only you. Aye, Captain. Jake, you and Guild will go in cloaked to get the real work done. Aye, Captain. All right, let's show these corpos why we're called the Hoodoo. Let's go.
00:31:54
Speaker
you