Introduction to KSS Pioneer and its crew
00:00:00
Speaker
Captain Yamamoto, a young Romulan woman, sits on the bridge of the KSS pioneer. Standing next to her is her second in command, an East Asian man with model good looks named Commander Kodak.
00:00:15
Speaker
Do you think she's still mad I took her job? I mean, you didn't force her to blow up a ship during the parade. Right. She's even got a fancy new ship. It should be fine.
Confrontation and revelations on the bridge
00:00:33
Speaker
Well, if it isn't Captain Nova Yamaha, are you still sexually harassing Lieutenant Kodai? It's Commander Kodai now, Captain. Oh, good for you, Kodai. I'm glad this backstabbing bitch actually came through for you. Cisco knows your neck deserves it. She really has gotten better since you left Captain Khan. We really- Shut up, Kodai. I don't want to hear it. You all left me to rot. Yes, Captain.
00:00:57
Speaker
Commander Kadai and Captain Yamato actually wrote glowing recommendations for- Not helping, Senpai.
Mission: Evaluate new cloaking technology
00:01:02
Speaker
Right. Captain Yamato, you're here to observe the operational evaluation of our new cloaking tech, not walk down memory lane. Uh, of course, Liberator, and may I say that- We got shit to do. Aye, Captain. I mean, let's proceed, Captain Khan.
00:01:21
Speaker
All stations, prepare for activation of the wave cloak. All stations, prepare for activation.
00:01:33
Speaker
Ready to activate. Abracadabra, Captain Khan. Activate wave cloak.
00:01:45
Speaker
Hoodoo returning in five, four, three, two, one.
00:01:54
Speaker
Where the hell is the Hoodoo? Captain, she's gone. What do you mean, gone? I'm reading displacement signatures from the Hoodoo, but no, that can't be right. Great, damn it, Kodai. Spit it out! I'm reading energy signatures from the Hoodoo.
00:02:12
Speaker
but they are over a hundred thousand years old. Red alert! Recover the Hoodoo immediately! Bring back my fucking captain now!
Temporal anomalies and the Starship Hoodoo
00:02:32
Speaker
Space. The Heartless Darkness. These are the records of the Starship Hoodoo. It's tasked to secure, contain, and protect against the entities and phenomena that pose a threat to the people of the United Socialist Khanate. Always resolved to boldly go where no one dares. We are Khan.
00:03:04
Speaker
Dark Trek. Starry. Tabeka Hernandez-Rigmaiden as Captain Shaka Khan. Hip Hallman as The Narrator. Vicky Sayal as Commander Leela Desai. Bongani Malambo as Dr. Leo Chamanuka.
00:03:26
Speaker
Episode 11, The Barge, written by Razik Brown and Ruth Hinkle.
00:03:52
Speaker
it's not responding captain empty were no longer in the rutherfoot sp Where the hell are we then? it's more like when are we I do not like the sound of that. What in the end?
00:04:08
Speaker
Shaka, something's wrong. Senpai, what's happening to you? Commander, your hair. It's graying. Captain, I don't feel so good. My hands are all wrinkled. Ensign Voss! Who the fuck is Ensign Voss? I got a real problem here, narrator. An Ensign wearing a red shirt was now time dust. By the way, you're an old woman now. You should sound like one.
00:04:36
Speaker
Well then fuck you, Sonny. Captain, I'm gonna report some crew members suffering from rampant onset aging. I believe every crew member is at risk.
00:04:46
Speaker
I can see that, doctor. What do we
Countermeasures against temporal effects
00:04:49
Speaker
do? Temporal energy is a wreaking havoc on our biological clocks. I believe we're stuck in some sort of temporal estuary. Of what? Imagine that time is like a river, and this sub-dimension is an ocean. We're stuck in an undersea river with a fresh water of our dimension, and the ocean water of somewhere else are colliding.
00:05:11
Speaker
Okay, I need solutions, doctor. Not Whovian metaphors. The only thing keeping the temporal energies at bay is the wave cloak and wave shields, but they're malfunctioning. Good thing I've modified the Mark III environmental suits with Magnus Tech. They should stabilize the crew temporarily, but it's a stopgap at best. Understood.
00:05:32
Speaker
Attention all crew. Get into your EVAs immediately to avoid the effects of the temporal anomalies. Authorizing armory. Iron Maidens, release to all crew. Use your combat just to equip immediately. I haven't worn one of these in a while. Suit looks good on you, Senpai. Focus, Captain. Captain, temporal energy readings are rising. Activate personal wave shields now. Brice yourselves.
00:06:00
Speaker
All crew roll fitness plus command of science. Average target, 15.
00:06:08
Speaker
Everyone pass, but there's a complication. Doctor, the C.R.O. nest begins receiving an overwhelming amount of biometric and psychic information from all the officers
00:06:31
Speaker
interesting. Temporal fluctuations are slowing, but we need to get out of here fast. The strain is too much for the ship, Captain. It could- Okay, dying rapidly of old age and or be torn apart in space. Neat. Other options? We could re-probe the gravimetric stabilizers at an inverse frequency. Will it be enough? If we add two pilots deploying impulse thrusters, they could create a tether. We'd get a quantum slipstream in with the combined force. They can tow us out. Exactly.
00:07:09
Speaker
Shipwright, Barber, get in your iron men and grab some rope.
Possession and energy siphoning
00:07:16
Speaker
Below decks on the hoodoo, Science Ensign Ursa Gomez, now possessed by C.R.O. Lucy, stands over a kneeling bean head refugee. A sickly green light pulses from the bean head's eyes, slowly siphoning into Larissa's potted lips as her form twists with hunger.
00:07:36
Speaker
This one's... thin. Barely enough to sustain me.
00:07:46
Speaker
Ensign Gomez to Dr. Chaminica. Another one of the beam heads has died suddenly. I... can't make heads or tails of him. Again? Dammit, Ensign. Are you sure they aren't seeing anything unusual? Anything out of the ordinary at all? Bongani? Roll to see if Dr. Leo can determine that Ensign Gomez is lying to her.
00:08:07
Speaker
Reason plus command. Target 11. No, Doctor. Nothing out of the ordinary they're stuck in some sort of anomaly. Just keep monitoring them. Good work, Gomez.
00:08:33
Speaker
Aye, doctor. Barely any flavor left in these husks. Attention all crew. Equip Iron Maidens immediately. What in the name of the Abyss is an Iron Maiden?
00:08:51
Speaker
The body of Ensign Gomez begins to age, her skin crackling like old parchment, veins bulging. Just then, C.R.O. Lucy feels a presence she hoped never to encounter again.
Encounter with Klingon Vixis
00:09:05
Speaker
Klingons? Through a viewport, Lucy catches sight of her shimmering shape looming beyond the temple distortion. It glints in the fog, the unmistakable silhouette of a barge. it could be we even here
00:09:24
Speaker
Attention, old crew. This is Holodredbab. I am assuming to command for breach for the duration of the away mission. No. No. The mother of Klingons can't know I'm here. If they trap me in stove or corn.
00:09:48
Speaker
I know this music. I'm certain I've heard this before. Like, I've been here before. Captain, we're being hailed. It's Klingon, but not like anything in the database. Put it through. On screen, an enormous Klingon woman in angelic armor stands at the helm of the barge. Behind her, a crew of Klingon warriors man oars, poise sails, and attend to their ancient vessel. The cop la douche.
00:10:23
Speaker
I went here when I died. When you what now? I am Vixis of the Quapla Duch, the barge of the honored dead. It seems that the Udo has been moored in the river of time. You know of our ship? I know where all my honored warriors are at all times. You make your ancestors proud, suchy messy. Metzli drops to her knees, prostrating before Vixis. Quapla! War, grandmother!
00:10:52
Speaker
Your mother trained you well, child. you again. Captain, we can trust this woman. She is the mother of all Klingons. The only warrior more honorable than Caelas. Now that the Potomac.
00:11:24
Speaker
I assume you can help us get home? We can help with you, but there is a price. I see. Captain, I must advise against this. You have no idea what that crow is capable of. Your grandmother is not a crow, hologram. Hush, Sochi. Do you have another solution, doctor? I do not. Then shut the fuck up. Ready to crew? We're going swimming. Hi, Captain.
00:11:54
Speaker
come reckon in the music ah the strike not
00:12:01
Speaker
It's not every day you get to walk with the dead. Again! Prepare the Baba Yaga and the Keshek. Jake and Falco, suit up. Go eat it, go swim. Rock and roll it, Captain. Doc, you're in charge of Bebop and Seapok. Don't let my boys get killed while they haul out the Hoodoo. Of course, Captain.
00:12:27
Speaker
From inside the Baba Yaga and the Keshek, the Hooters Away team drift silently toward the barge of the honored day. Musiker, we are good to land. Copy, Striker. Put us down on the deck, Sherlock. Aye, Cap. Jake and Jorge Miguel roll Control plus Con to land safely. Difficulty two.
00:12:52
Speaker
I can't believe I'm about to step foot on the couple of durch. One day, we'll die in glorious battle and end up right here. This is metal as shit.
00:13:19
Speaker
Stay sharp, all of you. I know this is your heaven, but we're treading in dangerous waters. Keep your eyes open.
00:13:29
Speaker
Welcome, Captain Gunn. Are they... working?
00:13:37
Speaker
welcome captain you guys
00:13:42
Speaker
are they working You can end the death. Aye, warrior. They are the honors. They need no rest. Captain Vixis. You say you can tow us out of this bog? Captain Khan. Roll presence plus command to gain favor with Vixis. Difficulty three. Focus in diplomacy activated.
00:14:05
Speaker
Vixis' passing gaze softens. Her respect earned as she listens. You come seeking passage. but nothing is free in the afterlife the dead must be honoured what do you offer in return for your lives. We offer a song. A song? Really? Yes, a song. Haven't you read any mythology before? Classic stuff. You're the musical, remember? Play something worthy. A song. Very well. See musical.
00:14:42
Speaker
of valor and honor Freeman wrote presence plus command to sing a song that will impress the spirits. Difficulty two. Seven in 12. DJ Hollow, you're up.
00:16:19
Speaker
The spirits of Klingon warriors aboard the Kaplat Duj echo the song. Their deep resonant voices chanting as though they themselves had fought in the battles retold. The song pleases us, but one more thing is required. There are Klingon souls lost from Baka's two on your ship. The the beamheads.
00:16:46
Speaker
they must return to wabla you release them We didn't come to barter souls. Some of them are still alive, technically. careful captain the river of time has never and your crew is dying
00:17:14
Speaker
Outside the KSS hoodie, Bebop and C-Pop pilot their attention gym through the temporal bar.
Struggles with temporal stabilization
00:17:20
Speaker
The liquid-like substance crackling with energy is temporal anomalies to start their every movement. I hate this. Uh, are you telling me the ship front hates fixing ships? No, I hate doing it here. This place gives me the creeps. Uh, I know what you mean. Come on, let's pull our girl out of this mess.
00:17:44
Speaker
Aight boys, let's see how you do. Give me three roles, each for fitness plus engineering. Each success increases your ability to pull the hoodoo free. Each failure adds a complication. Two successes and a failure? Damn it, one success, two failures.
00:18:03
Speaker
Inside the O'Brien, Bebop pulls with all his might, managing to pull the ship forward, even as it pulls against his tether. But Seapok struggles to direct the Archimedes against the strain of the temporal fluctuations. Pilots, this movement. Pull in your auto-loop, reach the hull. Shit. Ease up, Seapok. Roll Control plus Command to resist the temporal surge. Failure can mean confusion or hallucinations.
00:18:32
Speaker
I'm still with you. Shaking off the search. C-Pac, how you doing? No. I'm not here. I'm back. I didn't see you dead from here. I'm in a test engine tool. C-Pac, snap out of it. I'm fighting Mr. Special. I can't focus. C-Pac has caught between realities. His mind lost in the memory of a duel long ago.
00:19:02
Speaker
You must roll insight plus command to overcome the delusion with help from a familiar mind.
00:19:10
Speaker
C-Pop, it's time. Focus. Brother, I knew it. I knew you were in the Archimedes. I never left.
00:19:23
Speaker
With Tupac's consciousness stabilizing the distortion, C-Pac regains control. Together, he and Bebop pull inch by inch, raising the Hoodoo out of a temporal bar. Pilots, whatever you've done, you've realigned the Hoodoo. We can't escape yet, but we're not sinking any deeper. Push now, damn it. All right, let's finish this. Aye.
00:19:55
Speaker
Almost. There. Just a little more. Warning. Tetsujin calls side Frankenstein in danger. Nervous system compromised. Ah! My head. Seapok, what's happening? The readings say you're at risk of a stroke. The Tetsujin's ball control systems are overloaded for some reason. You need to get back to the ship immediately. Bebop pilots his Tetsujin, the O'Brien over to get Seapok and the Archimedes back on board.
00:20:24
Speaker
No roll needed, plus one momentum to the Huda. Hold on, CPOC. We're almost there. The temporal current tugs hard, a threatening to tear both CPOC and Tupac apart as the strain on the tetragen reaches a breaking point. Doctor, my brother needs medical attention now. Who the hell are you? It doesn't matter. Get us out of here.
00:20:55
Speaker
You are running out of time, Captain. We approach the final destination. The away team stands on the deck of the Kapla Duj, gazing into the foggy, war-torn shores of Stovercourt. Before them, a mythic battlefield rages, a realm won by Klingon warriors but fought for eternity. What is that place? That...is atovical what's the domain of the make we won it in glorious
00:21:26
Speaker
now we fight to keep it. Magus, they're here in Stovacore? Yes, this realm was once theirs. We take it, but they persist. Every honorable soul is needed, including those lost souls on your ship. Those lost souls, the beingheads, what if we're sending them to their deaths?
00:21:53
Speaker
They are already dead, consumed by Shognograth. They must be freed. These warriors deserve their place in Stovacore. They belong in the afterlife, not trapped on our ship. Roll a presence plus command check to convince Captain Khan. The difficulty is three, but I'll reduce it to two since Metzli's focus in dispute resolution gives her an advantage. I'll roll three and try to gain momentum.
00:22:24
Speaker
Nicely done. Metzli's confident and persuasive argument appeals to Captain Khan's sense of honor and duty. One momentum is added to the pool. All right. We do this. Bring him home. Oh, hey, Miguel Diaz. There is one more soul that must be freed. He's trapped within one of your metal warriors. Me? Why?
00:22:51
Speaker
you know him well you killed him in a duel mr specel The hammer? You mean Tupac de la Nomad? The rumors are true that if we die in them, we stay in them?
00:23:07
Speaker
three and striker before his brother steals his soul from me
00:23:35
Speaker
In the mecha-hanger bay, Dr. Leo furiously adjusts settings on the Archimedes. Before him, Tupac de la Nomad's holographic form flickers still incomplete, his presence both unsettling and awe-inspiring. Anomalies. Organic systems. Damn these shifts.
00:23:56
Speaker
Save my brother hologram. If I fall, it'll be on my terms. You're a ghost in a machine Tupac. What makes you think you have a choice? Leo, stop. Let me handle this. CPAC. Stay down. You're in no shape to operate No. I can do this. I have to do this. C-POC. Roll control plus engineering to override Leo's commands and stabilize the tetragen system. Difficulty three. C-POC. Shake your hands. Move rapidly across the console. Overriding Leo's commands. And two bucks hologram? Stabilize.
00:24:39
Speaker
Brother, you freed me. Yes, I did. You bring honor to our house, Sipak della Noma. Brother, it has been... Fuck. Caelus, it's true. El Martillo, you're really here. Mr. Especial, literal mortal enemy.
00:25:02
Speaker
Still kicking ass, I see. Vixx has sent me to free you, Tupac.
A digital soul's farewell
00:25:07
Speaker
Your place is with the honored dead. Fighting with glory at Stovacore. It's time to go. Yes, blood brother. Take me to Stovacore. No. This isn't why I brought him back. You. You're my brother. My blood.
00:25:26
Speaker
Frankenstein, he didn't mean- We aren't sending him there. Fighting with glory? After you already died in battle? Yes. Adjust peace for the honored. Stovacore isn't peace. It's an endless war. No rest. No victory. That can't be a holy land of any kind. C-pop. Roll presence plus command to convince them not to send Tupac to Stovacore. Difficulty two.
00:25:53
Speaker
7 and 18. Shit. This isn't your decision, Seapok. Stovacore is his victory. It's the highest honor he fought for this. You know that. Seapok's words falter as his emotions cloud his judgment. I'm not ready to lose him again. I spent years bringing him back, and now you're asking me to let him go? Seapok, you're not losing me. I'll always be with you, brother.
00:26:24
Speaker
But I have to fight my final battle. That's where I belong, with our ancestors, with our people. I don't want to lose you. You never will. But I have to go. To release his digital soul, you'll have to disrupt the neural networks connecting him to the Archimedes. It's time.
00:26:47
Speaker
Let him go. Deepak looks into his brother's eyes and is trembling. He reaches for the console. Goodbye, brother. The ghost of Ensign Gomez materializes before C.R.O. Lucy, clad in shining Klingon armor.
00:27:17
Speaker
Still clinging to honor, are you? Let's see how much that means to you. Now.
00:27:28
Speaker
One more soul to add to my collection. Pathetic. Lucy doesn't notice it at first. The shift in the energy around her. But the spirits of the beam heads long manipulated and controlled a stirring. What?
00:27:46
Speaker
What is this? The spirits of the dead hoodoo crew that Lucy killed on Bacchus to close in, hate in their eyes. You insects dare to challenge me? As the power of the kapat bougie washes over them, the lost Klingon souls gain strength, and as they do, a dead Klingon Khanate intelligence agent steps forward.
00:28:10
Speaker
It is the job of Section 13 to secure, contain, and protect from anomalies that are a threat to the people of the United States. The souls pluck Lucy's essence from the body of Ensign Gomez. No! I'm hiding me!
00:28:28
Speaker
The spirits of the Hoodoo grab the ancient god and drag her into the classified research object containment deck and stand her before C.I.O. P.L.A., the C.I.O. that trapped Dreadbear's mind months before.
00:29:05
Speaker
So, we good? You have honored our Barkend and Reckoner as a parting gift.
Blessing of the armor and the journey home
00:29:12
Speaker
I have blessed your armor, which has now been anointed in the river of time.
00:29:18
Speaker
The skill blessing of Vixis has been added to all the Iron Maidens on Hoodoo. When wearing the Mach 3s, the crew of the Hoodoo gets plus one to all fitness roles and plus one to their highest discipline school.
00:29:33
Speaker
ola t reckonner oma where is the cottage we god Thank you, war grandmother. Lamanos! Skye, plot the course back to normal space. Plotting the course, Captain. But there is a problem. We could come out anywhere. Or any when. The wave cloak doesn't give us the precision of the quantum cloak. We have to try. The Hoodoo must successfully plot a course through the chaotic currents of the River of Time. Roll computers plus sensors for their systems of calm. Difficulty three. Can Amethyst Skye assist the ship's role? Yes, she may. Roll control plus engineer. Roll control plus engineering to ensure all systems are working. That's a success. Not so cheap. Roll daring plus security to prepare the ship's wave shields. Yes. 4-11.
00:30:41
Speaker
The Huda successfully navigates the turbulent flow of temporal anomalies. You gain one momentum, but the wave cloak, powerful yet experimental, carries great risk. The ship's holding together, but the wave cloak, it's unproven tech. A running blind-hand captain could end up stranded or worse, trapped in the wrong timeline entirely.
00:31:06
Speaker
Adar, what's our best option? If we leave a touchscreen pilot on the other side, they could act as a temporal beacon. Guide us back to the right time. We'd need someone on the other side, and if they stay behind... Captain, we're being hailed by the Pioneer. Hoodoo, this is the Pioneer. We have a beacon. We can guide you back. Just follow us home.
00:31:34
Speaker
Relief spreads through the crew.
00:31:47
Speaker
plus science to enhance the communication systems to help the hoodoo lock onto the pioneers beacon. Difficulty two, target eleven. Uh, six and nine. Sixty-nine. Oh, yeah, baby. Whoo! Gross. You know you love it, Hit. Locked in, Captain. Ready to surface. As the Hoodoo emerges from the sub-dimension, everyone who was impacted by the temporal anomalies returns to their original aid. Captain Yamato. I mean, Captain Yamato. You have my thanks. You always come through when it matters.
00:32:27
Speaker
Always, Chaka. Loyalty never dies. We are Khan. We are Khan.
00:32:49
Speaker
Specialist CPAC Dela Nomad, Sam Ramos.
00:32:56
Speaker
crewman Jorge Miguel Falco Diaz, David Goins,
00:33:03
Speaker
Hollow Dreadbear, Leopold Knopk,