Transcript
Speaker: Now, let's see. Where were we? Ah yes, that's right. When we last left our hero, he was making barred soup. What do you think you're doing?
Speaker: I'm telling the story, and you're obviously not the hero. Well, from a phenomenological standpoint... Clarb, would you like to get in the pod and tell the story? No? That's right.
Speaker: Now, where were we? Ah, yes. When we last left our heroes, they had boarded the Vigilant, a luxury sailing ship that was taking them to the island of Kobarus in the Anchor's Chain, so that they might attend a gathering of the Round Zavars, a group of like-minded individuals who held the preposterous belief that the world is round, not flat, and served their meals accordingly.
Speaker: The day comes to a a close, dinner is spugurly and girl balls and...
Speaker: What is that? It's like spearing meatballs, but like, unnecessarily gendered, I guess. Jesus. Airdenine faded into the distance, Farnelind spotted a locust on the mast of the ship, and the party feared the vile assassin, the Butcher, had followed them out to sea.
Speaker: They quickly devised a plan to flush him out, a raucous party that would allow them to identify everyone on the ship. At the center of this plan was Clay, posing as the Lord of Party.
Speaker: A nobleman, or possibly a lesser deity. Quite impossible to say. The party begins in earnest. Not too later, Ptolemy shows up and pulls out this beautiful dulcimer and sits down and starts playing a collection of folk songs one might have heard in 1960's Greenwich Village. We're talking Dylan. We're talking some Joni Mitchell.
Speaker: They're songs you guys have never heard before. Wow. But he sings them with confidence. They are really party songs. they're ah They're kind of toe tappers if you were toe tapping like in a funk. God dang But he's playing.
Speaker: Okay. Glimky, go fix this. He doesn't listen to me. Early one morning in the sun was shining. was laying in bed. Can I cast Armaturgy again?
Speaker: Of course. I want it to be... I'm going to cast it multiple times. I want like flashing lights and a rumble that's kind of like a sick bass beat, like EDM. Nice. nice And then I'm going to his singing songs. Nice. That's crazy. Clay's like dancing up a storm, but it's just you casting spells trying to like keep all these different audio-visual effects going at the same time.
Speaker: Give me a performance check. I also have minor illusions, so... Yes! I would That would look crazy. All right. Like, I can add, ah so like, beating drums in the background.
Speaker: Amazing. ah Clay, yeah, you can roll with advantage. Okay. First roll was better. 15. 15. Tangled up in blue. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom
Speaker: One by one, they crossed names off the ship's manifest until only one passenger remained unaccounted for. They found this passenger in his room and learned he was carrying a strange artifact with him.
Speaker: i flip open the box. You open it up and you see that it is this, this trunk is lined with felt that is molded and formed around this glass cube.
Speaker: And you look and you see that it appears to be some sort of glass case. And at its center is a smaller cube that is made of some dark metal that You don't know why, but as you look at it, you just feel a trip of vertigo wash over you. Whoa.
Speaker: However, the party came to an abrupt end as two mysteriously masked pirates attacked the boat. The hair on the back of your neck starts to tingle. It's like there's a ah change in the atmosphere and you turn around and you see up here in the air, it's like someone carves a hole through space as a faint, dark beam of light starts to carve its way through the air, forming this circle filled with mist.
Speaker: And as you watch, the circle, the two lines form, they connect, and you see someone step through. It is this large figure. He's wearing a ah cloak that seems too thick for the tropical weather that you've been experiencing.
Speaker: He steps through. he holds a crossbow, this heavy crossbow in his hands, and is wearing a mask that looks like a star painted silver and gold. He steps through. Shit.
Speaker: and steps to the side as a second individual. What? Slender about your height, wearing another mask of their own. It is, you want to say silver, but you spent a lot of time around silver and gold.
Speaker: It is dark and it's darker than silver. It is shaped, molded to this individual's face and As you look at it, a familiar feeling of vertigo washes over you. is this dark metal and it is illuminated like the night sky. There are stars and as you look at it, you see the stars are moving and reforming and shaping.
Speaker: This mask seems to be alive or enchanted in some way so that the night sky is reflected upon it and constantly in motion. This individual steps forward as well and the two of them step the side.
Speaker: And a third creature, taller than both of them, covered in red scales, claws each as long as dinner knives dragging across the ground, is almost toad-like in its appearance. It is huge and it is bulbous and from its throat emanates a deep growl, not quite a ribbit, something darker and more menacing.
Speaker: The party was no match for these pirates and in a disastrous turn their ship was lit aflame, Clay and Farnelind were nearly slain, and the strange cube was stolen. The party licked their wounds while the ship was repaired, and eventually they reached Kobaris.
Speaker: They were welcomed by the round Zavars and taken to the Jar-Arworth Learning Center, a vast complex hidden in the island's desert, named after its enigmatic leader, a strange man whom they soon met.
Speaker: There is a sudden poof of smoke at the center of this room, and lights appear-
Speaker: illuminating around the center platform, and you can just barely make out a humanoid shape standing in the smoke, only can see a silhouette. It's Joel Osteen. Okay, sorry. Just kidding. Sorry, cut that.
Speaker: Fringe, I'm honored to have you at my learning center today. For too long you have been cast in the shadow of ignorance, hungry for the supple milk of knowledge.
Speaker: I tell you today, I have spent a lifetime learning and studying the world that we call Xav, and we have been taught many a thing about this planet, that it is flat, that it is mostly that actually.
Speaker: And I'm here to tell you today that it is in fact around planet and these hands sweep out dramatically and the smoke clears and you see an individual in a bright purple suit with brass buttons there are sequins on the suit it is shining like a disco ball in this dark space god And you see this individual with a tan skin. If you look closely, you see the tan kind of gets cut off at the wrists. There's some paler skin there. And this long slicked back blonde hair with dark roots. And this just very obviously manufactured smile as this elven man steps forward and says, Welcome friends to the Jarl Arrath Learning Center.
Speaker: Jar-Arith presented his findings on why Zav was actually round and fended off critical questions from Glimki. Clay offered to paint a portrait of Jar-Arith, which included a pair of, ahem, creative choices that he shockingly loved.
Speaker: You mean the breasts? Oh yes, Klob, meant the breasts. As night fell on Khabaris, Glimki heard a voice crying out to him and awoke to a strange sight. You, open your eyes.
Speaker: And for a second, perhaps you expect to be in an endless field or an infinitely tall mountain range, or perhaps upon the back of a crow.
Speaker: But instead, you are in small dome, ah dwelling for one, and looming over your bed is an individual that at first you can't really get a grasp on.
Speaker: can't really take them in and you realize it's because they are constantly shifting and moving and it appears to be a humanoid composed entirely of flower petals what the hell who are you my name so many have forgotten I'm Etigan the first bloom I don't have long will you come find me Glimke followed Etigan into the desert, where someone or something knocked him unconscious.
Speaker: In the morning, Clay and Farnelin looked for Glimke, but couldn't find him, learning only that he had been taken to somewhere known as the Reformation Room to have his opinions on the shape of the world, as they say, rounded out.
Speaker: Clay and Farnelin were determined to find Glimke, and they were able to convince Jar-Arwith's adopted son Peter, a young wizard with a propensity for mud, to help them. He's like in our adventuring party. We're kind of a codependent trio.
Speaker: And we can't find him this morning, which is unusual because for the last like two weeks that we've been together, we basically have only been separated to sleep and sometimes go to the bathroom. Yeah, so we're getting kind of worried. I have his breakfast here. It's getting cold. and I show him flirty eggs.
Speaker: thought you wished it was getting cold.
Speaker: Yes, we brought him 30 hot eggs. Actually, do you want these six because they're burning my hands? You see that Peter sort of reaches out a very mucky covered hand. Well now, go on then, I'll have a couple of eggs.
Speaker: Okay, i put up ah how many would you like?
Speaker: Yeah, he fishes them out and tries to sort of brush them off, maybe he dips them in the water. Together they broke into Ja'arath's office and discovered a secret passage that led them deep under the island's surface where nothing bad at all happened whatsoever.
Speaker: Didn't Fournirn accidentally murder that guy in the mud? I wasn't going to mention it. It's a bit of a sore spot for her. Clay, please fix this. Clay, please do some magic and fix this immediately, please. I don't want to deal with the moral ramifications of this.
Speaker: Dead, dead. Clay, you reach down and you check his pulse and he is, in your medical opinion, dead, dead. Oh, no. Oh, my God, I've never killed somebody like this before. I'm going to be sick.
Speaker: oh I'm going to be sick. The passage opened into a vast network of sun-filled caverns that seemed to be a domicile of sorts, and in it, the Reformation Room, where Glimki was being worn down by an incessant magical lecture on Zav's undeniable roundness.
Speaker: As the party celebrated their reunion, they were interrupted by Jararoth himself, who revealed a terrifying secret. I think we're losing the plot a little, and he turns to look at you, Clay. I wanted to follow up on earlier.
Speaker: That portrait you did, i was serious. It really made me start to reflect on myself and my identity and how I choose to present myself to the world. And he he reaches up into his mouth and starts to like worry away at his teeth, just like kind of grabs his incisor and starts to just like wiggle it a little bit.
Speaker: And I don't think the breasts are for me personally. i think, uh, not really what I'm looking for in a change, but he just grabs his tooth and he rips it out. ah And he kind of, you see that they're all just, it's like, almost like a grill. It's just like this large set, like this large set of fake teeth that he just pulls out revealing sharper, and just like rows of sharper teeth.
Speaker: He drops down onto all fours and says, No, I'm thinking maybe I'm just going to live my authentic self and the rest of you can just learn to live with it.
Speaker: How's that sound, Peter? You watch as his skin, which is this unnatural spray tan, brassy color, begins to look like it suits him in a way that it hadn't before. It begins to solidify and it begins to segment as he grows and swells. You see a tail burst out from his purple sequined suit.
Speaker: And you watch the shadows because, oh, we love a narrative device. Cinema, you see the shadows in this room elongate and stretch as his neck stretches out and these two massive wings sprout from his back, spreading out. You see he is covered in brass scales as this large dragon stands before you.
Speaker: The dragon offered to let the party leave if they could successfully answer a series of questions about why Zav is round. But some members of the party refused to compromise their academic morals, and so they were forced to fight their way out.
Speaker: Amongst the fighting, Peter was able to connect with his adopted father in a way he'd never had before, and in a touching moment of father-son bonding, the two agreed to put aside their differences, end the violence, and explore the world together.
Speaker: Meanwhile, Klimki was still concerned for the mysterious nature spirit that had visited him. He urged the party to travel to Mengen, the next island in the Anchor's Chain, and the spirit's suspected domain. But when they arrived in Mengen, they discovered something shocking.
Speaker: As the twilight settles down over you, Jar-Arith draws your attention to the horizon, where the shape of an island begins to take form. Clay.
Speaker: Every artist has heard of the splendor of Mengen and the inspiration it has given to generations of creatives.
Speaker: The beautiful glades, the sprawling forests, the pristine coasts. It is a place where anyone can see beauty and be inspired by it.
Speaker: Glimke, in your reading of both the Floral Compendium and Vera Lonebury's Guide to the Anchor's Chain, you've read about the glistening lakes that dot the island and the idyllic towns that have sprouted up alongside them.
Speaker: It's a place that perhaps you didn't plan on visiting until very recently, but anytime you read about it, it sounded truly spectacular. Maybe some of your siblings went there before you and raved about it and you knew that, if possible, it was a place you would want to see.
Speaker: Fondlin, your family owned a painting from an artist who spent a good deal of time on Mengin. It depicted a sleepy village with houses made of mushrooms and happy fae folk living within it.
Speaker: And it was silly. Amongst the splendor and rigidity of noble life, it was this silly little painting of almost mouse-like creatures living in mushroom houses.
Speaker: But it always made you happy. You have all heard about the beauty of Mengen, and so as the island draws near, you are all greatly surprised to see an industrial hellscape lying before you. No! What? Columns of thick black smoke belch into the sky from terrible gashes carved deep into the island.
Speaker: Large swaths of forest have been cut down, leaving angry, twisted stumps behind. It didn't take long to learn that the source of the island's pollution and Ettingen's plight was the corrupting presence of the Korak Mining Company, a dwarven mining corporation led by an individual named Boontar Stringamore.
Speaker: Oh yes, Gitar Stringamorel. That guy was evil. Boontar. Boontar Strigamol. Boontar. Sprigabr.
Speaker: Never mind that. Just listen. The party also learned of a rebellion brewing in a nearby town, and after a quick motivational speech by Clay, they set off to investigate. Now, Clay, you say something inspirational. Um, I don't know if it's inspirational, but I do- Then don't say it. Off to the ground. Okay, let's go.
Speaker: They reached the town, met some people. Glimke jumped from a tree. You see, he wanted to ask Mulare the nature spirit that he served where he could find etiquette. And near-death experiences had always allowed him to converse with Mulare in the past. In a certain sense, he was acting like Bella in New Moon.
Speaker: Exactly, Clarb. And as with Bedward, Glimke's gamble worked, and he was able to speak with Mulare. The crow told Glimke to wait for further information on Etigan's whereabouts and issued a dire warning.
Speaker: More on that later. While this was happening, Clay and Farnelun were walking along the beach of a nearby lake, when Farnelun saw a fish flopping on the shore that she tried to aid. You flip the fish into the water, and it sinks beneath the waves.
Speaker: As you flip it, though, you look at that eye again. This dark eye, and it almost looks human. And then, it lands in the water and disappears.
Speaker: Give me a perception roll. Another one. What the frick? Oh, that's better. Not by a lot, but a little. That's a 13. Faunolin, you watch this fish disappear beneath the waves. It doesn't appear to make any effort to swim or, you know, it doesn't revitalize like fish often do when they're placed back in the water.
Speaker: But you look out at this lake as the sun blossoms and burns bright and then ruptures. There's an afterglow and as darkness starts to fade across the lake,
Speaker: You hear a voice drifting on the breeze. Little fish is on the line. One is yours and one is mine.
Speaker: Little fish, what do you say? Glimki tree fellow dies this day. What?
Speaker: And you look out and you see that the fishing boats have come in and only that one houseboat with the paddle wheel remains. What the frick?
Speaker: Remember how Glimke had jumped out of a tree in order to talk to his crow friend? Well, Clay and Farnelon were somewhat distressed to find him unconscious on the ground. Clay quickly revived him, but before they could discuss what had happened, Farnelon hurried off to confront the individual on the boat, convinced she was responsible for the incident.
Speaker: As you get closer, there is that singing. And oftentimes it is just melodic, without lyrics. A door swings open and a figure is illuminated from behind. You can just see that impression of their shape.
Speaker: They're tall and they're lanky, almost unnaturally so. And they move with a stilted gait, as if walking his floor into them, almost like they're crashing around. Like you'd expect to see on ship in a storm, they're swaying from side to side, pushing off walls and railings.
Speaker: You can't see much of them in the darkness, but the lantern light reflects off their face for a second, and you see their eyes reflected back at you.
Speaker: The same eyes that were on that fish you saw a few hours before. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna call out, Hi! Fish head Franny. I'm here for a little chat.
Speaker: The woman on the boat was a hag named Fishhead Franny, who seemed to possess the powers of clairvoyance. She told Farnelin that her brother Dianil, who she hadn't seen in decades, was on a nearby island, and offered to help Farnelin overthrow the Korak Mining Company.
Speaker: For a price. Farnelin put a pin in this deal and offered another. Franny would provide her with the information necessary to bring down Korak in exchange for 50 years of servitude from Farnelon, unless a willing substitute could be found.
Speaker: Franny accepted her terms and told Farnelon what she wanted to know. You will find, hidden behind a portrait, hidden in a safe, tucked away in Butor Strugamal's office, a contract.
Speaker: An agreement signed between him and Van K Haven. An agreement to take care of a certain difficult governor.
Speaker: Van K Haven was a legendary group of assassins, but to the party's knowledge, the island's governor was still alive. Mysteries upon mysteries. Back on shore, Glimke was able to make contact with the rebels.
Speaker: If by make contact, you mean set on fire by the rebels. First impressions can be difficult, but as far as things go, it went well. Because Glimke met the rebel leader, a young halfling named Callum Swift, and convinced him that their goals were aligned.
Speaker: However, Callum feared the rest of his group would not be so easily convinced, and Glimke decided that finding Etigan would be the best way to prove his intentions. The party ventured off to find the spirit, and their search led them to a grove full of petrified trees, where Glimke found the fading remains of Etigan.
Speaker: The spirit was dying, but told Glimke how he might be saved. There is a piece of myself buried deep within this island. can't I could recover my strength.
Speaker: Well, that's good enough for me. Clunkey will take a knee, I guess try to clear away the ash and soil to reveal this little plant's roots and try to gently pull it from the earth.
Speaker: You clear the ash, dig through the soil, and with the most gentle precision you pull this little sapling out. The flower hangs heavy at its end.
Speaker: You see it has ten petals. It's pink and orange. You reach up, bring them to your hair, and you feel the roots begin to intertwine.
Speaker: And you let go, and the flower stays. Clay and Faunlin, you see that there is now a flower growing amongst the leaves in Glimke's hair. With Etigan's essence in their possession, the party began the long voyage back to town.
Speaker: But as they walked through the petrified grove, a swarm of locusts began to swirl amongst the dead leaves. The butcher had found them once more. The party was stronger than the last time they'd fought the butcher, but he was still a dangerous foe and was able to land a devastating hit on Glimke.
Speaker: As he did, one of the ten petals of Etigan's flower fell off, a portion of his remaining essence lost. The party was able to overcome their foe and planning to interrogate him, they placed him in a zone of truth.
Speaker: But unsurprisingly, the man sworn to the Lord of Silence wasn't the most loquacious prisoner and soon exceeded his usefulness. He's going to attempt to resist the zone of truth.
Speaker: Ah, he's not going to do it. What's your your spell save DC? 15. Charisma's 15. I want to say this guy's charisma must be super low. He's a disgusting man made out of locusts. he opens his mouth and says, Fine.
Speaker: I'll do it.
Speaker: I'll fulfill this contract.
Speaker: And you know that he is lying. Okay. Clay says, thank you for your time and casts Burning Hands. a good
Speaker: It was clear to the party that the next place to get information would be the safe in Boontar Strigamol's office. The party started out Korax HQ where Clay and Fondolin attempted a subtle infiltration disguised as potential investors.
Speaker: Whereas Glimke took a slightly different approach. Terry, we're going to get through this. It's all good. And Terry's- You did this to me! No, Terry, it'll all make sense very shortly. And Glimke's going to use- I'm never to get in office now! Glimke's going to use sleight of hand to try to put the black leaf in Terry's pocket.
Speaker: Give
Speaker: me a sleight hand.
Speaker: 13. will say, okay, perfect. I would say normally with disadvantage because you were handcuffed to the table, but Terry is so distraught that he does not, he's paying no attention. And yeah, you just like, like that scene in now you see me or whatever, where they're throwing the card around, you just, and the black leaf little baggie flies to the air and lands right in his pocket. Perfect. Step one is complete. Step two.
Speaker: I walk back over to my side of the the chain of the desk and I retrieve the perfume from my pouch and Gunky spritzes himself with the perfume um and then instead of sitting in the metal chair, he props himself up on the table very proudly and sits with his legs crossed waiting for the guys to enter.
Speaker: Yeah, the door gets kicked open and this this dwarf... You're doing the Joker? What is this? For the audience who can't see Jordan, he is sat all the way back in his chair doing the slowest of the whole class.
Speaker: I'm just picturing the chain getting pulled taut every time you clap. What?
Speaker: Well done, boys. Well done. While this was happening, Clay and Faunelin snuck into Boontar's private chambers, and after a minor miscommunication, Clay started launching Molotov cocktails through the building's mail delivery system.
Speaker: As fires swept through the building, Faunelin entered Boontar's office and discovered a hidden safe that could only be opened with three rings that Boontar wore at all times. Meanwhile, Glimke used the chaos to ingratiate himself to Boontar, and Geronimo T. Gates was appointed his new chief of security.
Speaker: For a time, it seemed like everything was going perfectly. Glimke was able to convince Boontarr to give him one of his rings, which Clay used to forge the three replicas necessary to crack the safe. However, just like Icarus before him, Glimke flew too close to the Phoenix.
Speaker: He used his position of power to order a hit on Fishhead Franny. A team of dwarves armed with several casks of explosive blast powder set off to take her out, but he soon learned they'd been unsuccessful. He drops the fork.
Speaker: It rattles on the plate. His eyes roll back into his head and water starts pouring out of his mouth. What? His head snaps to look at you.
Speaker: no. And you hear the voice of fish head Franny. Oh shit. Send little sharks after me, will you?
Speaker: Thank you for the blast powder, dear. You'll be seeing it real soon. From there, things quickly fell apart as Glimkin confessed to Boontar what he had done, was fired as a result, and then was thrown off a very, very tall building.
Speaker: Glimkin limped to the governor's mansion and begged her for help, but she callously turned him away. Worried about Glimkin, Farnlin went to see Boontar herself with a slightly different approach. I don't know what's going on, sir, but, um, there's a real problem in the mines. And I was sent, I was told I've got to get security and I've got to alert them. You see, there's been a big problem. It seems like somebody stole some blast powder and, um, they've used it. They've used it in the mines. There's been a bit of an explosion. And, um, i dismiss it's my first day on the job. They're making an equity, diversity, and inclusivity ah push. So they said that they could hire someone who wasn't a dwarf. And I said, well, that's great. Cause I've been wanting a job. Me man says I need a job, but, uh, I'll first stay on the job, I'm in the mines, and there's a big fucking explosion, man, and, and, oh lord, there's blood and guts flying everywhere, and I'm gonna say this to my mom, gonna say, Mom, you shoulda let me become a cobbler like granddad.
Speaker: Give me a deception roll with disadvantage. Disadvantage! Yeah. Famously, well the mines hired dwarves and brigginogs.
Speaker: Well, I rolled 14 plus a seven is a 21. That's the disadvantage? ah forgot about the disadvantage part. The thing you were literally just complaining about? Oh, oh, oh. Well, the second world was in nineteen so twenty one stands.
Speaker: Although she had some success, her ruse didn't yield the results she sought. What results were those? Honestly, I couldn't tell you if you asked. I did ask. Hush.
Speaker: As a final gambit, Farnalind pretended to be possessed by Fish Head Franny, and convinced Boontar to send a dwarf to take her place on the boat. So at least that problem was taken care of. Eventually, after a mostly terrible evening, the party reconvened.
Speaker: Clay, as you are lying down on one of the couches, getting ready to sleep, You hear a boom, boom, boom, boom at the door. I open the visor. Is it Glimki? You don't see anyone.
Speaker: And then you look down and you just barely see Glimki. ah Glimki, how are you doing? I think he just collapses.
Speaker: That's not the password, but that's okay. I open the door and I pulled Glimki inside. With time running out before Etigan expired, the party broke into Korak HQ once more and used the imitation rings to open the safe.
Speaker: Inside, there is a single scroll, tightly bound. It is a long piece of old paper.
Speaker: It feels brittle and you carefully unwind it. It spans maybe half the length of this large conference table. The three of you gather around reading through it as quickly as possible.
Speaker: The short version of it is that this is a contract between the Korak Mining Company and Vankay Haven for the assassination and replacement of the governor, Phaedra Femada.
Speaker: It ensures... that the word appearances is underlined, that appearances will be maintained for a period of 25 years.
Speaker: And this was signed approximately 20 years ago, bearing Boontar Strigomol's signature. Klimke realized that the person he'd pleaded with earlier wasn't the governor, but rather some kind of decoy.
Speaker: Armed with this new information, the party prepared to tell the people of Korak's crimes, but... before they could leave. Franny attempted her revenge. One of the dwarves from Glimke's assassination plot entered the office and detonated, it nearly killing everyone in the blast.
Speaker: The explosion alerted Korak's security, and the party was forced to fight their way out, and Glimke lost a few more precious petals in the process. A lot had been learned, and our heroes determined they would need additional support to remove Korak and save Etigan.
Speaker: Armed with information and ready for an uprising, the people of the island gathered to hear Glimke speak.
Speaker: People of Mengen, your plight here under the iron boot of the Korak Mining Company has gone on long enough.
Speaker: These people have leeched nearly every ounce of value out of the earth and with it came the beauty that made this place so special.
Speaker: And it brought your nature spirit Etigan to the brink of extinction. But what is worse is that the spark in all of you has nearly faded.
Speaker: Inklemki looks up to the smog and ash filled sky. Do you remember what the sky used to look like without all this ash and debris?
Speaker: There used to be stars up there that were beautiful. But the magic really was when we were able to connect those dots into constellations.
Speaker: They resembled animals and castles, gods and spirits. And from those constellations, artists like yourselves formed countless stories that became myths and legends.
Speaker: Well, when I look out at this crowd, I can see a spark in each of you. And from here, those sparks are beginning to look a lot like constellations.
Speaker: magical, powerful constellations. And from them will be born stories that will grow into myths and into legends that are told around campfires all across SAV.
Speaker: And all we need to do to turn those little sparks into a roaring fire.
Speaker: And I believe we have what is needed to stoke those flames. And he'll take out the contract This is a contract that proves that Buntar signed a deal to assassinate your governor and replace them with a plan so they could tear the heart out of this island right before your eyes.
Speaker: Let this be the fuel for the fire and let it spread to every corner of this island. Whisper it in every ear that is willing to listen to every abled body that is able to fight.
Speaker: And I can imagine the bell is still ringing. It is for us for whom the bell tower tolls. And let it be a reminder that every life lost will be connected from Mengan to Dwells to the Uru Thothaya and to every round edge of this beautiful floating disk.
Speaker: That by Nova on the eighth day of this week, we burn Korak to the ground.
Speaker: The sheet is pulled back, revealing the restored statue of the governor. Almost in unison, the people in the crowd tear off their cloaks and flip them around, revealing the symbol of the Etta gang, the cocoon symbol you all devised.
Speaker: People pull out whatever weapons and shields they have cobbled together. Some of them hold up torches, casting light and long shadows within this space.
Speaker: For Phydra! For Etigan! For Mengen! And a roar sweeps through the crowd. The paintbrush rebellion has begun.
Speaker: The paintbrush rebellion had begun, but the ever-looming threat of Franny's retribution was front of mind. So the party split up. Glimke helped the rebels battle their way through the streets towards Korak HQ.
Speaker: He battled side by side with Callum Swift, overcoming waves of dwarves, metal constructs, an ogre with a cannon strapped to its back, and a particularly foul creature. I'll look back at the group of the people waiting and just give a silent nod, essentially signaling that it's like our time to move.
Speaker: As you say that, another earthquake rips through the city. Oh god. Larger, more powerful than the last. Oh god.
Speaker: You watch as a fissure. opens up in the center of the courtyard on the opposite side of this fence. What? You see ah shape begin to writhe.
Speaker: Oh no. Crawling through, pressing, squeezing. Oh my god. It is the elongated neck of a dwarf. And by elongated, I mean 10, 15 feet long.
Speaker: There is a bearded face at the end of it and this impossibly long neck that's thrashing about. Oh my god. You see another shape start to press up and this one looks like a fish.
Speaker: Just a long scaled neck with a barracuda's face. Franny you bitch! Another one. The head of a hydra. Is that dwarf I a jewel? The head of an orca thrashes out. This creature emerges with five long necks. Ew. Four of them fish-like in nature, the fifth dwarven. Oh my god. Oh my god. Share the same dead glassy eyes. What the hell? As the creature screams in unison.
Speaker: an abomination of the gods, Franny's Hydra. With a final goodbye to Callum, Glimke had no choice but to leave the other rebels behind as he rushed towards the mines to save Etigan.
Speaker: Farnelon and Clay hurriedly met with Franny and struck a final deal. She would call off her remaining assassins if they would fetch a jar she sought from a nearby, supposedly haunted tower. The tower was soggy and perilous, but they eventually made it to the top floor, where they met the tower's inhabitant, a specter who had tried to make himself a mortal, using a djinn he'd bound to his service.
Speaker: The djinn's name was Burakhan the Untimely, and she was confined within the jar Franny sought. Farnelon had to make a choice. Make peace with Franny, or gain a powerful new ally.
Speaker: How do we seal the bond? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She flashes you a smile and says, the oldest magic known throughout the cosmos. Blood, spit, or piss?
Speaker: Ah, yes. Yes! I love her! Better seal this deal with piss. The strongest one. And it's the only way.
Speaker: Fonelin's hand is ah already cut from the brambles. She spits in it and then grit with her with her disgusting hand, she, do they need to shake? Yeah, they need to shake.
Speaker: She reaches up for a shake. Oh, all three, okay.
Speaker: You bring the piss, baby. It's already covered. And your hands clasp together in a terrible fashion and you feel her start to pull from the jar.
Speaker: With the aid of her newfound warlock patron, Thonelin and Clay flew on a disintegrating magic carpet to the mines, where they were reunited with Glimke. They journeyed deep within the mines and discovered a massive stone tree, alongside a creature feasting on the wealth of treasures the tree produced.
Speaker: An epic fight ensued as the team fended off both the creature and another one of Franny's assassins in order to clear a path for Glimke, and he carved into the stone tree, revealing a great reserve of Edigan's energy.
Speaker: He shattered it, restoring Etigan's lost strength. That warm breeze swirls and swirls around you. ah You feel the ground fall away beneath you.
Speaker: And though you can't see it, you are lifted off the ground, hovering several inches in the air. What? what Clay, you look across this space through the darkness.
Speaker: And you see Glimke hovering there. You see dust and debris spinning around him. But as it does, you watch as the flower on the back of his head blooms once more.
Speaker: Petals sprouting, fanning out. And as it does, a few of them are ripped away, caught up in this vortex around him. But they continue to grow back.
Speaker: As soon as one is plucked away, another takes its place. More and more petals swirling around him until he's entirely obstructed from your view.
Speaker: As sit there in the dark,
Speaker: faelland was dragged through the ground itself by bohan but hadti again revealed he could only save clay or glimkee glinky demanded that the spirit save clay and so he did prepared to die the ceiling began to collapse around our brave nomahiro but suddenly he heard a familiar flap of winks as you sit there in the dark Waiting for the inevitable end.
Speaker: You imagine that book. You imagine someone flipping it open, turning pages, leafing through it. It feels so vivid.
Speaker: It feels like you can see it. It feels like you can hear it. The flutter of the pages on the story of Glimke Treefellow's life. But amongst the rumble,
Speaker: And the stone, that flapping sound persists.
Speaker: And you hear a voice in the dark. I told you I would find Etigan tell you where he was. You didn't wait half a day.
Speaker: That's fucking crazy.
Speaker: Get upon my back, tree fellow. Your work is not done, nor is mine. As long as Boof can kill. Who the fuck is Boof? um This is Boof.
Speaker: Do you blaze? No, I do not blaze. Outside of the mines, people were tending to their wounds and celebrating their new freedom. The rebels had won. The dwarves had surrendered and were leaving the island, returning it to the people of Mengen.
Speaker: The party spent some time helping the rebels form a new government and repair the damage from the fighting. Glimke was reunited with Callum and shared stories from the fight. While Glimke was in the mines, Callum had gone after the false governor.
Speaker: But something terrible had happened. He stops. He pauses in the street. And you stop with him. And he lets go.
Speaker: And you hear him take a step back.
Speaker: You seem like a really good man, Glimke. Uh-huh. gonna happen? Is this Franny? You're so traumatized. I think you deserve to know where he's buried.
Speaker: Huh? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. It's Franny in a Callum suit. It's Franny in a Callum suit. It's Franny in a Callum suit. my god. Zach, what is wrong with you?
Speaker: Callum, what are you talking about? He burst into the house. Tried to kill me. But I was faster. Callum.
Speaker: He's buried in the backyard. When I become someone, i don't get everything, but I get a lot. And a lot of what I got was you.
Speaker: Like I said, you seem like a good man. And I figured you ought to know the truth. You won't see me again.
Speaker: What? And you hear footsteps walking away. Oh my god. As thanks for their service, the party was given a steamship that they christened the Swift in honor of their fallen friend.
Speaker: Together they set off towards the resort island of Bogatyr in search of the missing princess, Farnelon's brother, and a secret vacation home owned by Prince Elling Malfourth, who they suspected was at the center of everything.
Speaker: The journey to Bogatyr was largely uneventful. Only because they didn't spend any time on the dinosaur island. Oh, don't get me started on the lack of dinosaurs in this story. Regardless, they soon reached Bogatyr, and Farnolin was alarmed to see VADOC ships in the bay.
Speaker: Worried that her brother had turned traitor, she set off to find him. And find him she did. Although the reunion started sweet, it soon turned salty as old grievances and feelings of betrayal were aired.
Speaker: Chief amongst those was the revelation that Farnelyn's imprisoned father had been secretly communicating with Dianel for many years, but had never extended the same courtesy to her. Putting us aside their differences, Dianel revealed that he had come to the island with his servant and Farnelyn's former situation ship, Orlin, to kill a financier working for House Vadok.
Speaker: Their quarry was attending the opera that evening, and the plan was to sneak into his box and quietly kill him. The party gathered their gear, then went to see Dianil and Orlan. You step inside. There are some candles burning.
Speaker: You hear rummaging from off in another room. Be with you in just a second. I'm glad you came to your senses. You hear one heavy set of footsteps coming out of an adjoining hallway.
Speaker: You hear a second, lighter, quicker, coming from the other. And you see two individuals.
Speaker: The smaller of them says, wonderful. Oh, and you even look at you. You've got weapons. um This is going to be wonderful. Yes, it's going to be. It's going to be quite fun to have the whole family together.
Speaker: What? Their words wash off of you. Because as Orlin and Dianal step into the living room, you see that they two are kitted up.
Speaker: Orlin carries a heavy crossbow that he slings over his shoulder. He's wearing a set of armor with a thick cloak that billows behind him slightly as he moves into the space, limping along.
Speaker: Dino's wearing these fine clothes. He's got a precise rapier at his hilt. He's wearing a black suit with these shiny black shoes. He's wearing a set of black gloves.
Speaker: But it's not their clothes that interest you. It is the masks on their faces. Oh no. one that of a five-point star.
Speaker: Nah. and the other a dark metal that reflects the night's- These... Oh my god, they're the effing pirates! Yeah, they're the freaking pirates! Let's go kill some fucking Vadox!
Speaker: Despite knowing what Dianil and Orlin had done, the party agreed to go along with their plan. At least temporarily. Farnelin was determined to prove herself and convinced her brother to stay behind.
Speaker: And so, the party went in alone. Glimke grabbed the financier, but quickly learned that he was no elf, but a fiend in disguise. Without Dianel and Orlin's help, he was too strong for the party and sent them running for their lives, but not before Glimke's mind was enfeebled, much like Faunilin's weeks before.
Speaker: The party was accosted by Dianel outside, who was enraged at their failure, but before he could depart, Faunilin pulled a sneaky. Wait, wait, wait. but No, no, no, no. Give me a hug. Give me a hug before you go.
Speaker: Give me persuasion. Natural 20. We are still family. oh He holds his arms out. Does not take a step towards you, but like kind like half opens his arms.
Speaker: Yeah. I'm obviously going to try to steal the mask. is The mask that he's wearing on his face. On his face? yeah Fine. I'm going to try to steal those crystals then.
Speaker: Okay. It's a sleight of hand, I presume. Sleight of hand. Yes. I need to roll with two hands. I'm so nervous about this one. You got this. Oh, man. You're a natural 20 god. 16. You hug him and you reach for the satchel and your fingers toy at the edge.
Speaker: Then you reach in, you feel it, you pull it out, and the hug ends. And I stow it with sleight of hand up my flowy sleeve. up your flowy sleeve.
Speaker: Glimke's impaired mental condition failed to improve the following morning, so Clay and Farnalyn endeavored to take him to a nearby temple dedicated to a local nature spirit hidden in an amethyst-filled valley.
Speaker: The only problem was the valley was closed, after Dianil had killed several of the Firbolgs that called the valley home, and stole the strange gem that Farnalyn in turn had stolen from him. But Farnalyn hoped to return the gem in exchange for restoring Glimke's mind.
Speaker: The journey to the valley was plagued by displacer beasts, hostile phobolgs, and Glimke's impaired faculties. I gesture to Glimki to get on. Glimki exclaims, Be sweet in this goose, asinine comet.
Speaker: Victor torches the ceiling. Oh,
Speaker: he's doing poetry now. Fantastic.
Speaker: He looks at him. Fawn runs square in the face and then continues. Lakeside wander. More just for bacon. Breach. Raven lost longer. How the castle broke. Flowerpot morning. Dane crossed the furred speech.
Speaker: Okay, that's a fair point. You got me there. I'll keep that in line, but don't push it.
Speaker: Bargain. They were eventually brought to the temple where they met with the chief priestess. They came in stir to restore Glimki's mind in exchange for returning the gem to its rightful home. Uh... desecrated holy site known as the Tarnished Bethel.
Speaker: But the party underestimated the threatened side. There were terrible, haunted spirits there. The former acolytes of Gorzhak, the progenitor god. The party fought back, but they were weakened from their earlier trials and claimed Grimki were brought to death's door.
Speaker: Desperate to save her friends, Farnelon destroyed the gem, but this acted unforeseen consequences. Farnelon, you take this rock and you smash it against the wall next to you.
Speaker: You feel your hair start to rise up as gravity reverses in the chamber. You succeed on the dexterity saving throw and you're able to grab on to just a chunk of rock, a pillar.
Speaker: You dig your hands in. digs in to your hand. Your hand starts to bleed. The blood starts to rise up towards the ceiling, scattering across the roof. But you manage to hold on as the crystal shatters, reversing gravity within the chamber.
Speaker: You watch as the skeletal bodies
Speaker: explode across the ceiling, bones plastering to the roof. The minotaur skeleton rises up and shatters into a thousand pieces. The gallowspeaker slams against the ceiling as well, evaporates, the voice is silenced.
Speaker: But Clay and Glimke's bodies also smash up against the ceiling.
Speaker: Clay's spirit awoke in Hell, where she was confronted by her one-time foe, Lamoris the Skullthief, but rather than seeking retribution, Lamoris offered her a choice. She could stand before the Goddess of Death and face judgment, or he could shepherd her away, to meet her mother for the first time.
Speaker: In an act of defiance, or possibly disinterest, Clay chose the Goddess. Glimki awoke in the spirit realm, where the day of reckoning Mulari had warned him about came to pass at last.
Speaker: He was forced to stand before the Perishad, a gathering of every spirit, great and small, where they bombarded Glimke with previously unknown truths. Mulari had lied to him.
Speaker: His crime wasn't saving Glimke's life. It was breaking a primeval covenant between the spirits and the gods of this world, an act that could result in war between the two ancient powers. Mulari's betrayal was laid bare, and the parish had passed judgment upon Glimke.
Speaker: As for you, Green Knight, you are not remorseful. You seem almost proud of what you have done, the chaos you have wrought.
Speaker: Yet despite this, you have done some good. You hated first bloom. However, You betrayed the woman and the frog.
Speaker: You are untrustworthy,
Speaker: dangerous. Your fate shall be Mulares. You are bound to what you have referred to as the Gathering Tree in the Land of Dwells.
Speaker: There your spirit shall re remain. You shall not know peace. You shall not know eternal rest. But you will not know the judgment of the flame. Go into the darkness with your patron.
Speaker: Goodbye, Green Knight. Back on the material plane, Farnalyn washed as Glimki's body turned to crystal and shattered. Clay's body remained, however, and Farnelan dragged her back to the island's resort, where she found a doctor.
Speaker: This doctor lacked the magical ability to bring Clay back to life, but she was able to preserve her body, at least for a time. While the doctor worked, Farnelan collapsed from exhaustion, and when she awoke, she saw two furbolgs from the valley looking down at her.
Speaker: So what were your names? I need to know how to boss you around. I'm Juniper. Juniper. And I'm Lycan. Lycan, okay. I'm, you can call me Lady Faunilin.
Speaker: Lycan, could you come down here so I can talk to you face to face while we lots out of back? He was already planning to do that. Yeah, you've got like your face down and he's like squatting and kind of like looking up at you from the underneath.
Speaker: And yeah, I'll give her a massage. Outstanding. Yeah, and I don't really feel bad for you, but I kind of feel responsible. feel like if I just let you go do whatever it is you're saying you're going to and die, i don't know. I think I'd feel bad.
Speaker: yeah Yes, and I would say that you should feel bad because honestly, the hostility you and your friends is what got me and my friends into the situation that we're in.
Speaker: Despite her immense loss, Farnelon still believed the princess was being held prisoner by Elling Malfurth. And so, together with Juniper and Lycan, she crossed the island to Malfurth's vacation home. The newly formed party discovered the prince's servants packing up everything for a rapid departure and used the chaos to move about unaccosted.
Speaker: They searched every inch of the prince's property and hit dead ends in every direction. Nobody seemed to know anything about the missing princess at all. The search led them to one final building where they discovered a vast dungeon protected by a devious security device. At the far end, you can see two doors with faces carved into them.
Speaker: One appears to be smiling and one has a bit of a unknowing Mona Lisa expression. If one of them only tells the truth and one of them always lies, so help me God, Zach. The mouth start to move. One door always speaks the truth. The other always lies. One of us is IBS. The other one is bi.
Speaker: These two facts are unrelated, but to us they're quite important. One door leads to where you seek. The other is a portent of doom. Also, all of these things are actually true. So don't use them to think about which door to take.
Speaker: The game starts now or whatever. Okay. I want to ask one of them. Are you a door?
Speaker: No, I'm not! That one's lying! um i'll double check, I'll the other one. Are you a door?
Speaker: ah Yes, quite certainly! Born and bred this way! Okay, so now we know who's lying? But we don't know, we still don't know if the one that's telling the truth is the good one, though. like Right, right. Fondalyn, who watched her two closest friends die earlier and has snuck through the night with two random people that she's putting her life in their hands, is like leaned up against the wall watching this farce. She sparks up a cigarette and just is leaning up against the wall watching this play out, smoking, like shaking her head.
Speaker: one of the doors lies? Yes! No! i think it's the one who said it's not a door, because that's a lie. It is a door.
Speaker: No, I'm not. and You can't prove it. Which one of you has IBS? Him! Him!
Speaker: It's both of them, isn't it? No! Yes!
Speaker: So the one that answered, yes, I'm a door, which one was that? smiley one or the Mona Lisa? It's the smiley one. We all know it's the smiley one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can tell. Hey, smiley door.
Speaker: Can I call you that? Hey, you can call me whatever you like. I'm just a door. Oh, I love that. Oh, thank you. Is the princess behind you by chance? No.
Speaker: Is it behind your friend across the way? Oh.
Speaker: Is there a different room that might lead to the princess? Many rooms can probably lead to many princesses. But I have limited knowledge of the greater world. I was born here and I will probably die here.
Speaker: I'm at peace with it. Okay, is there doom behind you? Yes. And as you ask that, a fist punches through the door. What the fuck? And then other it rips them open. And you see a third door with giant arms and a big face. And it says, I'm the door that kicks your ass.
Speaker: Roll initiative. What? They overcame this final obstacle and quickly searched the dungeon for the princess, but soon discovered someone else. This is very odd. Are there other prisoners? Are the cells all empty?
Speaker: You walk through the rows. They all appear to be sitting empty. But off in the distance, you hear a faint clank of chains.
Speaker: I can't contain myself. I run. You run through the darkness from somewhere off in the opposite direction. You hear a... Oh no.
Speaker: But you run away from that. The chain clank comes in a different direction. You branch off down a pathway. Perhaps the two firbolgs are keeping up with you, but you don't know and you don't care. You run past empty cell after empty cell.
Speaker: until you stop in front of one. You see individual with dark, perhaps slightly wavy hair drooping over their face, muscular arms chained to the walls, covered in tattoos.
Speaker: They look up at you and you see a ah masculine, orcish face Who are you? His name was Prince Bertram Vestegard, and it was revealed that he was the one Clay had helped kidnap so long ago.
Speaker: He offered to lend his help for the time being, and together they escaped the dungeon and fled to sea. But Malfur then his lackeys gave chase, and soon their larger ships caught up with the smaller Swift. A massive naval melee ensued between the Swift, Malforth, and his mercenary Arras' humiliation, but soon other ships joined to even the fight, including one belonging to Fonwen's longtime frenemy, Electra Voon, and one carrying a mysterious stranger.
Speaker: We see grizzled older man standing upon the deck of the ship. They've got a salt and pepper beard, pipe in their mouth, some cool aviator shades.
Speaker: Sure you want to do this? Doesn't seem like our fight. A second individual. They are tall and skinny with a disgusting mullet that runs all the way down to their butt.
Speaker: Just gaunt cheeks, patchy beard. Captain's right. Not our fight. Besides, this is merchant ship. And the two individuals look down at, well, Jordan, would you please tell us?
Speaker: Oh my god. Yeah, standing between them is a small gnomish woman. She's wearing and indigo canvas quarter cloak that's kind of dotted with yellow embroidery of stars and constellations that seem to like wrap around her shoulders onto her back.
Speaker: Weathered leather belts and pouches that have kind of faded into that oiled orange patina. It's got like tanned olive skin and dirty blondish hair that's kind of bleached by the sun, kind of staring through a ah little spyglass at the this little scene unfolding before them and ah looks to them and says, we got at least level the playing field.
Speaker: Don't know why listening to me. my What? The captain dies of heat exposure, sun exposure. The first mate looks at you and well, rules of the sea.
Speaker: You're the captain now. Whatever you say, Vassanya. Full steam ahead, lads. The fight continued between the five ships with rising intensity. Oh, this is such a bad idea. i hope the lady is okay with this, and I hope that guy's body is fine. hey I turn the ship to try to ram it into the Queen Vasiliki. Excellent. We're ramming? Oh, we're ramming?
Speaker: We can't take it We can't captain now
Speaker: he looks at you with just gigantic guys we can't take it we can't take sixteen content make gift
Speaker: love your blood it was some i
Speaker: ah captain i'm the captain now
Speaker: have
Speaker: ah fuck To make matters worse, a dragon showed up. Farnalyn offered Malfurth temporary truce to kill the dragon, and he accepted. In the end, the dragon killed Malfurth, Farnalyn killed the dragon, and the fight came to a sudden end.
Speaker: Farnalyn, Juniper, Lycan, Bertram, and Vassanya gathered in the light of dawn, and Farnalyn's new allies offered to help her revive Clay and Glimki. And so they set off aboard the Swift, back to Airdenine so that Clay could be resurrected. Then they'd have to figure out the Glimki Crystal stuff after.
Speaker: However, as they neared the city, the unthinkable happened. Faunelin, you have your own room on the ship. There are two other rooms currently unoccupied.
Speaker: Whether you bequeath them to your new companions is up to you and for the time being irrelevant. But you awaken in your bed, ready to set foot in Erdenine once more.
Speaker: It's been little under a month since you departed, but so much has happened since then, both good and bad. You brought enlightenment to an island led by a well-meaning but ultimately misinformed dragon.
Speaker: You liberated another island of oppressive corporate reign and regime. Things didn't go how you wanted in Bogatyr. Nothing really went to plan. You didn't find the princess.
Speaker: You lost your friends. Nearly lost your ship. But you made some new companions, and that's something worth celebrating. How do you feel? How does Faunlin feel about her return to Erdenin?
Speaker: impatient. She's like, let's get this Prince guy to his rich friend. Let's get clay back. She's just tired of trancing and being on this boat and she just wants it to be over already.
Speaker: With this in mind, you step out, ready to see the Balefire, ready to hear the endless roar of Ocean Crest Falls, the waterfall that endlessly pours into the city, ready to smell and experience the various islands and neighborhoods that make up this truly unique city.
Speaker: Most of all, you're ready perhaps to reunite with the people you left behind, Fallow, the other friends you made in your time there. However, as you step out onto the deck of the Swift,
Speaker: There is no balefire. There are no islands. You do not hear the cries of fishmongers at the docks or smell the myriad of strange and wondrous smells.
Speaker: There's nothing but the lapping of dirt-streaked waves on the nearby shore and a winged blue shape circling overhead. Boof runs up to you in a panic. Captain, I don't know what's going on.
Speaker: I followed the charts, the city, it should be here. i don't I don't know. i don't know where it is. You see two roads leading down either side of a peninsula, roads that should end in Airdenine, but there is no city.
Speaker: And as panic grips you, that's where we'll stop tonight's session of Bard Soup. ah You son of bitch. Where's the city? where You already said all that. Yes, Clob, but now you're all caught up, so... What do you say?
Speaker: On with the story? If Clay and Glimpki don't come back, I'm going to send you hate mail. Ah, but how will you send me mail if you eat me? I'll eat the letters. Hmm, letters too.
Speaker: Now there's an idea with spinoff potential.
