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Episode 4 — Money with Your Children
28 Plays23 days ago
How do you talk to your kids about money — without making it awkward or stressful? In this episode, Jim Crider and Cade Grimm unpack how to build financial wisdom in your children at every age — from toddlers learning about trade-offs to grown kids navigating inheritance and legacy. Jim shares real stories from his own family: how a simple “golf cart vs. vacation” conversation turned into a powerful lesson about priorities, and how reframing “We can’t afford that” into “We’re choosing to spend differently” helps kids learn intentional decision-making. Cade brings in the perspective of a new dad, showing how even small, everyday choices can model healthy money habits. Together, they explore allowance strategies, the value of work, and how transparency around money creates strong, trusting families.
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Transcript
Intro
Introduction: Talking Money with Children
00:00:11
Jim Crider
Hey Cade. So today's conversation is going to be discussing money with your children. And I'll make the same disclosures I did in our prior conversation with money before marriage is lot of what we're going to talk about today. i'm not I'm not claiming I have all of the answers.
00:00:30
Jim Crider
A lot of this is going to be you and I discussing what we think, what we observe. Honestly, a lot of this is going like hashing out things that I, Kendra and I are currently mulling over of how will we navigate these things.
00:00:44
Jim Crider
So I don't want to put on this facade or pretend that this, that today's conversation is me and probably you presenting all these answers, but rather just opening up a conversation and hopefully for our listeners, it will be helpful for you to,
00:00:44
Cade Grimm
Yeah. well
00:00:56
Jim Crider
Start mulling over these conversations. If you have kids already, conversations maybe you you can start having. if your If your kids are grown, we'll have some conversations about once or no longer small children, but once your children are adults, we'll get in that as well.
00:01:10
Jim Crider
So I think there should be something for everyone in here to to learn. And again, Kate and I are learning right along with you.
00:01:19
Cade Grimm
Yeah, I'm excited to hear hear more about what you and Kendra are talking through. Obviously, you've got you've got four.
00:01:24
Jim Crider
Thank you.
00:01:25
Cade Grimm
i just have one. So see see what little bits I can take take from this and start working on with Jameson.
00:01:33
Jim Crider
It is funny once you know when you're a kid, your perception as your parents is they've, as far as you're aware, they've always been parents in your entire life.
00:01:37
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:01:40
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:01:40
Jim Crider
They have been your, they have been parents. And as an adult, what you realize is I, you need have not always been a parent. And as a few weeks ago, i was talking to our kids about how, when, when Kendra and I met, like, wow, you and mom haven't always known each other.
00:01:48
Cade Grimm
yeah
00:01:53
Jim Crider
like no, we we haven't. So this perception of your, your parents have always been parents or, you know, you recognize that we're all, you're learning. I've never done this before. I've never, my oldest, his name's Atticus. Atticus turns eight in a couple of weeks.
00:02:08
Jim Crider
I've never had an eight-year-old. It'll be the first time I've had an eight-year-old. So i I'm always learning. And
00:02:15
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:02:16
Jim Crider
So again, it's, I think that's one of the fun things and hard things about parenting. It's also sobering. This is not a test trial. I don't have four kids to practice on and then, right, I think I got it down. Let's start afresh with a new bunch. This is it.
00:02:29
Jim Crider
There's no test trial with this.
00:02:30
Cade Grimm
Yep.
00:02:30
Jim Crider
We're doing my best.
00:02:32
Cade Grimm
Yep. Yeah. I laughed because I, I, I thought you going to say, uh, you basically did is it you as a kid, it kind of seems like you think your parents just have it all together. They have it all figured out. But in reality now as a parent, it's like,
00:02:44
Cade Grimm
We're like scrambling and and winging it all the time, making our best guess with what what our next move should be here.
00:02:48
Jim Crider
oh
00:02:51
Jim Crider
Oh yeah. It's I'm, I do my best. Sometimes I make it up as I go. Sometimes I have a good idea.
00:02:58
Cade Grimm
Yep.
00:02:59
Jim Crider
but you know, that's, it's part of parenting. I've never, again, we've never done this before. Uh,
00:03:04
Cade Grimm
Yep.
00:03:05
Jim Crider
And I think a lot of parents have regrets later on in life. We can, it wasn't what something I was anticipating talking about today. But maybe we will get into that is regrets that I've heard a lot of people voice regarding money and their kids and their marriages.
00:03:20
Jim Crider
Maybe, maybe we'll get into that later in this conversation.
Why Discuss Money with Kids?
00:03:23
Jim Crider
Well, again, just to lay out the the conversation today, I don't have any fun statistics, but i want to talk through having conversations with your children around money.
00:03:34
Jim Crider
And that starts with when they're little, little all the way to adult ti children. And we'll, maybe we'll follow it through, a that lens of raising your kids at what point do certain conversations happen? and also follow that theme of the, these conversations. And there's, there's again, like, uh, like money before marriage,
00:03:57
Jim Crider
Finding out when should you have conversations about money with with your significant other before you're married. We're posing ideas, but we don't have it all figured out.
00:04:09
Jim Crider
Well, I guess we'll start off with that. would...
When and What to Teach Kids About Money?
00:04:14
Jim Crider
i would I think we would both agree that you should have conversations with your children about money at some point in life, be it when they're little, when they're teenagers, or when they're adults.
00:04:26
Jim Crider
It's inevitable that will come up. would we Would we agree on that?
00:04:30
Cade Grimm
Yep, I agree 100%. I think, I think.
00:04:32
Jim Crider
Okay, but that might sound like an obvious question, but if we agree that it should come up, then cool, we have a starting ground.
00:04:39
Jim Crider
All right, then the next part is, well, when should it come up?
00:04:40
Cade Grimm
Yep.
00:04:42
Jim Crider
So at what age is it appropriate to start talking to your kids about money? And do you talk do you talk to them about money in a general sense? And or do you talk to them about your money?
00:04:55
Jim Crider
And when is that appropriate? And how open should you be? you have any yeah any thoughts there? Again, but I'm not pretending to have the answers. Like, oh, it's at four and a half is when you start doing this. Like, yeah what do what do you think, Cade?
00:05:05
Cade Grimm
Yeah. Yeah. i Going into this, I didn't have necessarily a strong opinion. i I did find when I was doing some research, there was a a report that was done or a study, guess, in 2016.
00:05:21
Cade Grimm
It was called the Building Blocks to Help Youth Achieve Financial Capability. That report said that middle childhood, which they classify as age 6 through 12, it's a period when youth acquire foundational knowledge that forms their financial habits and norms, including healthy money habits and basic rules of thumb for managing finances.
00:05:46
Cade Grimm
So that would... point towards like really kind of getting into the, I guess, getting a little bit more specific around age six. But that that report also said that early childhood, which they say is age three to five, there's a lot of development around executive functions, which includes self-control and problem solving. So Yeah, my my answer would be based off of that alone is like, okay, start introducing really basic healthy money habit type things in the age range of three to five. And then really maybe get more, but I would say probably age three to five is more like little games and related to money, but not really money. And then maybe age six, six through 12 is where it maybe is more impactful to to have more realistic money scenarios thrown at them.
00:06:36
Jim Crider
i would I would argue that we could even break this up into two types of conversations. And that goes back to our initial first episode conversation about what is money.
00:06:40
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:06:45
Jim Crider
We have this more qualifiable than a quantifiable side of things. And you know money conversations with your kids. do you when they're When they're three years old, do you introduce them to you know your your budget spreadsheet you start talking with them about the stock market and things like that.
00:07:03
Jim Crider
that's, that's one side of money, but then even just like, what is money on the more qualified, side of things like how you or your family uses money, the perception of money, things like that.
00:07:10
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:07:15
Jim Crider
So for instance, our kids, uh, it was probably, it was a few years ago. i'd say probably two or three years ago, we went, so my right now we have, we have four kids. And right now they are seven, six, four, and two.
00:07:32
Jim Crider
this This was when Adeline was a newborn. So this was two years ago this past summer. Okay. So about two, two plus two and some change years ago.
00:07:41
Jim Crider
so our oldest was five. So we were at what? Five, four, two, and newborn. Okay. Okay.
00:07:49
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:07:50
Jim Crider
So we went on a family vacation to Telluride, Colorado. Great vacation. we We spent at that point, we spent more on a vacation than we think had at any other point in in our and our life.
00:08:01
Jim Crider
We got a really nice house and we ate out and we got ice cream a couple times a day and just really enjoyed it. It was amazing. And the kids loved it. It was the first time the kids had seen mountains. It was one of the first times they had all, like some of them, it was the first time they flew on a plane and we just made a whole thing of it. It was, it was amazing. And everyone loved being in Colorado and the kids wanted to stay there and, Oh, we should move to Colorado. We should spend more time. We should get a house in Colorado. Mom and dad, why don't we live in Colorado? Why don't we come here more often?
00:08:30
Cade Grimm
Thank you.
00:08:30
Jim Crider
It was, like it was amazing. We get back to Texas and it's like a thousand degrees out. And the town we live in, A lot of people drive golf carts around because they're it's a smaller town and not Two days after we get home from from Telluride, we're driving in a really nice golf cart pulls up next to us. I mean, it's got like four rows and it's leather seats and a nice sound system. It was like, that's that's a really fancy golf cart you got there, buddy. And we had a golf cart, too, at that point. It was janky. It had come with the house we bought.
00:09:03
Jim Crider
And it was it was a golf cart that you would buy to play golf on, except for as a golf cart from like the eighty s Uh, and it had a, it had a pirate sticker on the back. I thought that was sort of cool.
00:09:13
Jim Crider
It was, it was a clunker. There are many of times we'd be on a family golf cart ride around the neighborhood that I would end up pushing the, the, the family on the golf cart to, to make it to finish up getting home. Uh, anyway, so we're, we're driving this really fancy golf cart pulls up next to us, like tens of thousands of dollars.
00:09:29
Jim Crider
And the kids say, wow, dad, I want, we should get that golf cart. And of instead of me saying, no, that's dumb or yeah, let's do it. Or we can't afford it or anything like that.
00:09:41
Jim Crider
I responded with, well, guys, there's, we only have so much money. Would you, and we just, we just got from back from a great vacation. If you had to choose, would you rather go to Colorado next summer and for the other summers, or would you rather stay in New Braunfels where we're at and just get a golf cart?
00:10:01
Jim Crider
And they all said, oh I'd rather go to Colorado. So in that chance, I, in that time, I took the opportunity to help them start navigating the fact that you, uh, you make decisions and this whole thing of you can, you can have anything and you want in life.
00:10:13
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:10:15
Jim Crider
You just can't have everything you want. So helping them assess, uh, one, what's important to you. So we could talk through the values conversation. Like, okay, we, we value spending time together as a family. And a goal with that would be we want to spend at least X amount of time per year on a family vacation. So the value is family time. The goal is vacation.
00:10:34
Jim Crider
The decision is money for vacation or money for a golf cart. We can't do both. And then finally taking action as well. We're not going to get the golf cart and we will go on the vacation together. So helping them start navigating those things, out understanding trade-offs and opportunity costs.
00:10:45
Cade Grimm
Thank you.
00:10:48
Jim Crider
I think those are, those are lessons you can start teaching your kids early on is proper decision-making in context of what is important to you, you know, helping them understand delayed gratification, helping and understand opportunity costs.
00:11:02
Jim Crider
So I would, I would pose, you don't have to be old and your kids your kids don't need to understand investments and you know markets and things like that to understand general trade-offs and money decisions. Unfortunately, and ironically, most people don't understand that stuff. Most adults don't understand that.
00:11:22
Jim Crider
no that's why I've had, I've had so many people say, Jim, I wish we could do X, Y, and Z, but they don't when they, ironically, they would have the money for it.
00:11:22
Cade Grimm
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:11:30
Jim Crider
Yet their money goes towards other things because they never stopped to ask what's important to us. They have not considered the opportunity costs, the trade-offs. So I would say that that's a really good start place. You can start teaching your kids early
Teaching Decision-Making and Values
00:11:40
Jim Crider
on.
00:11:41
Jim Crider
is navigating decisions and pointing out, hey, what do you think about this? Later on, you can lay the how of investing and saving and spending all that, starting off with considering how do you make decisions well?
00:11:55
Jim Crider
That was a ramble. Sorry, Cade.
00:11:57
Cade Grimm
No, it was really good. i can't i don't have a similar story to share with how we've navigated something with Jameson, but I think think your example is really powerful. at At an early age, I think you said, Atticus, your oldest, was around four at that time.
00:12:12
Cade Grimm
And that was something that even as a four-year-old, the way that you broke that down, you laid it out in a way where he understood like, okay, here's how I, here's how I navigate this decision. Here's how, here's how dad has decided like, what is more important to us as a family? And it started with, Hey, what do we value?
00:12:32
Cade Grimm
and we value family time. And, but i I would rather spend our family time on a vacation in Colorado than riding around in a super fancy golf cart. So just recognizing that, uh,
00:12:44
Cade Grimm
Money is limited and you you, with every dollar you spend, you're casting a vote for what what ultimately matters to you and what's important. So that's a really powerful lesson.
00:12:53
Jim Crider
Something that our you know i'm I'm sure of anyone who has kids what well well can be sympathetic to this statement. But our kids, anytime we go anywhere and there's things for sale, they'll say, oh, dad, can I have that? I want that toy. I want this thing. They're always asking for stuff.
00:13:08
Jim Crider
And instead of my – I don't want to lie to my kids. don't want to say like we can't buy that.
00:13:12
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:13:13
Jim Crider
We don't have money. We can't afford that because we can everything. the goofy toy at the grocery store. Like I can afford it. You know, most people, most people can afford that if they wanted to.
00:13:22
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:13:24
Jim Crider
So I'm not gonna tell my kids I can't afford that. Instead, response has come to be, and Kendra and I, our response is, we don't have money for that. Like, all right, yeah. Like I want, I want the thousandth,
00:13:39
Jim Crider
Hot Wheels car. We don't have money for that. We have money for other things, but again, like we don't have money for that. You're, you're trying to demonstrate and I don't just leave it at that. Not every, I don't sit down and have this long thought out conversation every time my kids ask for something, I'd run out of time in the day.
00:13:53
Jim Crider
But we regularly have that conversation of why do I say we do not have money for that? And that cut that's because of going back to that that bigger conversation of what is the money for?
00:14:03
Jim Crider
So then and when they ask me on the spot, dad, I want this thing, I can say we don't have money for that. And they understand what I'm communicating. So I'd argue that's probably a good, I think it's good response.
00:14:13
Jim Crider
Maybe it's not. Maybe there's a better response I should start saying.
00:14:14
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:14:15
Jim Crider
Yeah.
00:14:16
Cade Grimm
Well, I think it's a great response. I feel like right now, we're where we're trying to a we're trying to share some of those same, i guess, ways of thinking with Jameson. He's two, right? So, I mean, how much can we really do? But we we do it more around like time, right?
00:14:36
Cade Grimm
He doesn't necessarily understand money yet, but again, what you do with your time obviously communicates what is important to you, just like what you do with your money is going to communicate what's important to you. So like if we've got 30 minutes before bedtime and Jameson really wants to do, you know, go ride his bike outside or he wants to do, you know, whatever else we try to break it down. I'm like, okay, we don't have time for all these things and trying to help him understand like,
00:15:03
Cade Grimm
which which thing is more important to you is where you'd want to spend your last 30 minutes before you have to go do bath time. So I think it can start with things like that. Because because like I said, time and money both are going to communicate what's important to you.
00:15:15
Cade Grimm
They're going to have a lot of the, there's going to be a lot of overlap there with how kids learn.
00:15:18
Jim Crider
Yeah. Yeah. Again, time and money, I would say are the two largest, two very large currencies in what you value, like communication of what you value. Again, I, something I mentioned all the time is if show me your, show me your checkbook and your calendar and I'll tell you what your life is communicating you value.
00:15:27
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:15:34
Cade Grimm
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:15:36
Jim Crider
You know, another reason I want to go back here is, you know, the kids say, dad, I want that. I'm not, I don't usually say we can't afford it. Maybe we can't. And if that's the case, I'll tell them like we can't afford that, but I don't want to, I don't want to tell them all the time that we just can't afford something.
00:15:46
Cade Grimm
the
00:15:50
Jim Crider
uh, one, cause I don't want to lie to our kids. And also I don't want to, I don't want to, teach them. I don't want them to think that we're impoverished and teach them this like mindset of like, Oh my goodness.
00:15:58
Jim Crider
It's like, that'd be sort of the time equivalent of, Hey dad, I want to go play outside for 30 minutes before bed. And you tell them like, Oh, you're going to die in 30 minutes. Like, no, yeah that's not true.
00:16:07
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:16:09
Jim Crider
So why why is that your response? you're You're teaching them to make a decision based off of a false premise. So instead of just trying to get them to be quiet, I'm trying to instill a lesson there of like, there's not, we don't have money for that.
00:16:20
Jim Crider
Not, we can't afford it because then you're you're teaching them one, it's untrue typically like for a little toy at the store.
00:16:23
Cade Grimm
ye
00:16:28
Jim Crider
you so you're it's it's a false premise. Then two, you're teaching them to make a decision. maybe all Maybe you're teaching them a wrong lesson. Maybe you're not teaching them a lesson that you could, or maybe you teach them the the wrong lesson.
00:16:42
Jim Crider
And the lesson there is like, you should be fearful of how you spend your time because maybe you're going to die at any a second. Or maybe you should never spend money on anything because you can't, you're always broke. And you're teaching this, your kids. It's like going back to our last our last episode, talking through like money scripts, maybe the money script you're, you're, uh,
00:16:58
Jim Crider
Giving your kids accidentally is you're always broke and you can't afford anything and money, money can't be spent on anything you enjoy.
00:17:02
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:17:05
Jim Crider
And that's not the lesson I'm trying. I'm not trying to teach my kids. You can't afford anything and you never can enjoy the use of your money, but rather you need you need to consider what's really important to you and make sure your money is aligned for those things, what you value.
00:17:16
Jim Crider
So that's, I think, a more valuable lesson.
00:17:17
Cade Grimm
yeah
00:17:19
Jim Crider
And that is something you can start when they're young. And of course, you get deeper and deeper conversations they age. And again, unfortunately, I think a lot of people have never had even the basic conversation or thought process there of what do I value in life?
00:17:31
Jim Crider
Therefore, you have tons of people out in life who are not even using their money for what they truly value because they never stop. They just react like, oh, I want that toy, so I will buy it. They never stopped to ask, what else could I do with that money that's going to go to that toy instead? And I'm hoping to instill that in my kids from when they're two, to when they're 10, to when they're 20, and when they're 50.
00:17:52
Jim Crider
So we're we're it's building blocks here.
00:17:53
Cade Grimm
yeah Exactly.
00:17:55
Cade Grimm
yeah
00:17:55
Jim Crider
what about What about, I guess, the more, again we i guess we could see stay on that vein of the qualified side of things.
00:18:02
Jim Crider
So having those conversations, inviting your kids in those conversations with you, like maybe you and your spouse as you navigate that is, again, like, yeah, dad, I want that toy.
00:18:12
Jim Crider
We don't have money for that right now. Or dad, we want that golf cart. Well, we'd rather we would rather go on this vacation. Actually open those conversations to up to our kids. Those are those are conversations we have.
00:18:24
Jim Crider
And we've we've started inviting our kids to to be part of those. It's this openness of how we use money. So that type of house that we own, the types of cars that we drive, the vacations we go on, the way we give our money.
00:18:30
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:18:37
Jim Crider
the way we spend our money, what we eat. we We have those conversations with our kids. So for instance, and we we eat really healthily, I would argue. Kendra is a very big proponent of like eating organic and like raw dairy and bit AKA expensive food.
00:18:53
Jim Crider
And she values that because she believe it is directly and linked to health. So she values health. She believes that these types of foods align with health.
00:19:04
Jim Crider
Therefore we use our money. to purchase that because health is important to us and our money is going to communicate that. So we have that conversation with our kids of, well, we buy these groceries, we buy this food because of this, or we live in a more modest house. We drive modest cars because of this.
00:19:21
Jim Crider
So bringing in those conversations, something that I think is really neat is Kendra. Kendra's told me this several times, a story when, uh, when she was, i think in middle school, her parents built a new house and the part of town they lived in, uh, they live in a part of town that was a server suburb that was like middle, maybe upper middle class suburb area where they built their new house.
00:19:43
Jim Crider
But they went, they were really involved in a church that was like lower middle class or maybe like, It wasn't like the projects, but it was definitely lower middle class and and possibly below.
00:19:53
Jim Crider
Okay. And they they regularly had people over to their house. So like youth group events and stuff like that. Or a lot of lot times they would have like the youth pastor and people live with them for prolonged periods of time.
00:20:07
Jim Crider
They'd have gatherings for Bible studies at their house. And anyway, so Kendra, when she was in middle school, they built this new house. Kendra was upset with them because she wanted a more decadent house with a double spiral staircase and a grand entryway and all that stuff.
00:20:20
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:20:23
Jim Crider
And they were building something more modest. It was sizable, but modest. And I think really neat thing her parents said was, Kendra, most of the people who come to our house have never been in a place like that. And we don't want them to, we don't want their perception of us to change when they come here.
00:20:40
Jim Crider
We don't want them to feel uncomfortable. We want it to be welcoming, but we want we want it sizable enough that we can host, but also welcoming and comfortable for anyone to come into. And I think that's really honorable and really neat.
00:20:50
Jim Crider
And the fact that you're, that's a conversation you can have as your kid.
00:20:51
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:20:54
Jim Crider
That's conversation you can have with them at middle school. i i would Those are conversations that we have with our kids at our their ages right now, again, seven... six, four, like these are things that we talk, i'm not having this conversation with Adeline. She listens in sort of maybe, but these are conversations we have. And I think that's really healthy is how Kendra and i view financial decisions. The the reason, the way, the reason we drive our cars, the way we assess these things, once they can they can see us modeling healthy dialogue around money, understanding what we value because it it it directly impacts them. So helping them like mold what what we think they should value in life.
00:21:31
Jim Crider
And then also seeing, allowing them to get insights to how we make decisions financially from stemming from what we value and our goals are for our family.
00:21:42
Cade Grimm
Yeah, I think, number one, that story is incredible. I think it's that's a deeper level of thinking than most people go to before making a decision with anything, probably, much less a financial decision.
00:21:59
Cade Grimm
And I think, like you said, just having open dialogue with your kids about how and why you're making the decisions that you're making so that they can learn to think deeper and consider trade-offs and consider opportunity costs of what decision they're making. Whether, I know this is about money, but whether it's about money or not, there's a lot of value in learning like, hey, let's pause, let's think about the decision we're making and all of the areas that this decision is going to impact, rather than, like you said, being so reactive like most people are.
00:22:33
Jim Crider
Yeah, you can put your hand on that hot stove if you want, and maybe it looks neat for whatever reason.
00:22:37
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:22:39
Jim Crider
Or you can you can reach up on the stove to grab that cookie, but it will burn your arm because of this. You need to understand the impact of a decision and every factor that kind of goes into that decision that you will need to make.
00:22:52
Jim Crider
That's what we're doing as parents, largely is helping our kids.
00:22:52
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:22:55
Jim Crider
make good decisions. Now I hear people say like, I don't want to teach, you know, i need to teach my kids how to think and not what to think. It's like, no, I definitely want to teach my kids what to think. Why would I not want to teach my kids what to think? But also I want to teach my kids how to think.
00:23:08
Jim Crider
If, if you only teach your kids what or how to think and not what to think, that could be sort of odd. And I, I, I would say that it's important to teach them how, but everyone teaches their kids what to think.
00:23:20
Jim Crider
And maybe you would say, again, i'm I'm a Christian, maybe you'd say it's like, oh, you're you're brainwashing your kids.
00:23:21
Cade Grimm
Yep.
00:23:25
Jim Crider
Well, if you have a different point of view, I would say that equally, if you're teaching your kids nothing, then you are you are leaving that void there and you're teaching them something. Anyways, and to say I'm to only teach your kids what to think, but you're not teaching them how to think you're going to do this massive disservice because one day they'll get out of your household or maybe you're just gone for an hour and they just make goofy decisions because they don't have that ability to process.
00:23:35
Cade Grimm
yeah
00:23:51
Jim Crider
They they don't have the conviction. Well, one, you have to instill the conviction. And then two, you have to you have to you have to teach them how to think through things. So even if they have a conviction and they have options, they may not still understand how to how to tie that conviction with their options and how to assess the the framework of thinking through things.
00:24:09
Jim Crider
So one, teaching them and instilling convictions. And then that would be the how to the what to think, sort of, and how to how to adopt those thoughts on their own. And we'll talk about that in other conversations is how do you set goals and adopt things as your own thoughts?
00:24:22
Jim Crider
Then also, how do you navigate the framework there? And those are the two things we're trying to do with our kids. The larger of the two things is instilling our kids with values and then helping our kids navigate this framework of, okay, if we have this value, how do we connect it with our actions?
00:24:27
Cade Grimm
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:24:38
Jim Crider
That involves decisions.
00:24:39
Cade Grimm
ye
00:24:41
Jim Crider
And how do you make good decisions? Reach it for the cookie, you're going to burn your arm. You're making a trade-off. Is that cookie worth a big score? burn on your arm. Probably not. if you, do you want the golf cart? Do you want a trip?
00:24:55
Jim Crider
Uh, so helping them navigate these, these trade-offs and opportunity costs, I think is, is wildly important. And that's, again, that's a, that's a large honor, honor of, of parenting is the, what we've been trusting to do to help to raise kids, to make these good decisions.
Practical Financial Lessons for Kids
00:25:09
Jim Crider
what about on the, like the more actual tangible side of things with, with money?
00:25:09
Cade Grimm
Yep.
00:25:13
Jim Crider
I know our kids sort of funny. don't think I even did this on purpose or even did it like our kids, uh, Atticus from when he was probably five, he started having these stores. So he built, they have these big building blocks and he made his own little, it looks, it looks like a little storefront you would see like on a sidewalk in like a third world country or a little, a little booth, maybe in a dense city.
00:25:43
Jim Crider
He has a little booth like that just in our playroom. And, uh, he sells like he's, he's recently gotten into crocheting. So he'll sell crocheted bracelets and necklaces. He he made a crochet jump rope the other day.
00:25:55
Jim Crider
so we'll sell that stuff where he collected a it was hundreds of seashells at the beach. So we'll sell, he'll sell seashells. It's tough to say. He sells seashells from the seashore and just other things. It's he'll, he'll save up and like,
00:26:12
Jim Crider
or birthday gifts. like not, not birthday gifts.
00:26:14
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:26:14
Jim Crider
Someone said he's not selling, he's not reselling his birthday gifts. but maybe if he, he has opportunity to collect, uh, those, the parting gifts at a birthday party, everyone, all kids leaves.
00:26:17
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:26:25
Jim Crider
understand that whole thing.
00:26:26
Cade Grimm
yeah
00:26:26
Jim Crider
Like, why are we giving toys to the kids who come to the birthday? Isn't the prize to come to the birthday?
00:26:31
Cade Grimm
yeah
00:26:32
Jim Crider
small tangent, our kids play sports. And I don't remember this as a kid after every flipping game, every kid gets a treat. It's like, dude, the treat is the fact that you're playing baseball.
00:26:42
Jim Crider
Why you need a sucker to feel good about being here. You're playing a, you're playing a game. That's the treat, man. Where are we teaching our kids?
00:26:48
Cade Grimm
and Interesting.
00:26:48
Jim Crider
It's so good. And I hate it. One, like you want to give your kid a treat, give them the treat. Now we have to coordinate like, Who's bringing the, who's bringing the snack today? they have to figure out allergies and Debbie doesn't like to eat that.
00:26:58
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:26:58
Jim Crider
And they don't like these ingredients like my goodness.
00:26:59
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:27:01
Jim Crider
And then the kids get upset because they don't have a good treat. You just got to play a game. That's a treat. We need teach our kids that to be thankful that it' just got to play game.
00:27:08
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:27:08
Jim Crider
Anyways, drives me nuts.
00:27:08
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:27:10
Jim Crider
That sort of goes to this birthday party thing. So Atticus, a lot of times we'll do with these birthday party going away party favor things. It's like, I don't want these. So then he'll stick in his store and he'll sell it. Now I will say that I'm his primary customer. Kendra and I, I make it a point. He tries to get me in there every day, but I tell him I only shop on weekends.
00:27:27
Jim Crider
But yeah, ge he likes to sell things.
00:27:29
Cade Grimm
That's awesome.
00:27:29
Jim Crider
And now Asher and Arlo, they also have stores. I'm a big fan. I buy their massages. Atticus, he's upped his prices, unfortunately.
00:27:36
Cade Grimm
o
00:27:38
Jim Crider
used to sell massages for a penny a minute. And man, i would they're they're they're pretty good for for a seven-year-old. and Man, I would buy so many massages until Kinder made him think through that he should he should up his prices.
00:27:50
Jim Crider
I was hoping he could learn the lesson the hard way by really Really learning it, not her manipulating the prices. on And then Asher started selling massages and she he sold them for, so Atticus upped his prices.
00:28:03
Jim Crider
Asher started selling them for less. I would only buy them from Asher, forcing Atticus to drop his prices and then i started buying them again. So teaching these like supplied and manned
00:28:11
Cade Grimm
and
00:28:11
Jim Crider
I think it was pretty good.
00:28:12
Cade Grimm
That's amazing.
00:28:13
Jim Crider
on
00:28:13
Cade Grimm
That's amazing.
00:28:13
Jim Crider
so anyways, our kids and like, it's, it's neat to see like they have, they have their money and they, they, they save and they buy things from each other. Literally, as I walked out the door today to come to work, Atticus was selling some stuff to Asher for his store.
00:28:28
Jim Crider
And then it's neat though. Like they'll do that. But then Atticus will go the store together and he'll buy a gift for Asher because he knows Asher wants it. And he understands that I worked hard for this money.
00:28:36
Cade Grimm
Well, that's cool.
00:28:38
Jim Crider
It's really neat to see, but they're also like taking on money. Uh, a few months ago, Asher had a store. he was Asher, maybe Arlo. It was Asher. Asher had a store. Uh, his grandpa, Poppy was over and Poppy wanted to give him a dollar. And Asher said, i don't, I don't take, I don't take dollars. I only take Bitcoin. i thought that was pretty funny. So I do know part of this is because the way they pick up on me,
00:29:00
Jim Crider
But yeah, just having these conversations with your kids about money, about budgeting, stuff like that.
00:29:00
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:29:05
Jim Crider
That's where, I mean, last, it was a week ago today, Atticus and I, we were driving at night and he said, dad, why does Bitcoin have, what gives Bitcoin value? And I thought it was a pretty good question for seven-year-old.
00:29:18
Jim Crider
And we talked through supply and demand.
00:29:18
Cade Grimm
yeah
00:29:20
Jim Crider
We also talked through the backing from a, from energy. We talked through debt and how the US dollars really backed by debt and being a fiat currency, obviously the enforcement of the US, but ultimately backed by debt by people being forced to buy US debt.
00:29:38
Jim Crider
We talked through all these things.
00:29:38
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:29:40
Jim Crider
of course, I didn't go to like the petrodollar system and stuff like that with him. But I would tease the conversation out that would lead to another good question. And it's really neat to see the questions our kids are starting to think through. Like, okay, well, why does Bitcoin have value?
00:29:55
Jim Crider
Why do US dollars have value? And we talk through money printing. And I pose that, you know, if if I could just create money out of thin air and be able to buy all his stuff up from him, would that be fair?
00:30:07
Jim Crider
Oh, well, no, that doesn't seem like it's fair. Well, that's how U.S. dollar works. is wiz And I talked to him about the canceling effect and this disproportionate advantages that some people have because of money printing.
00:30:11
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:30:20
Jim Crider
And yeah, you can you can have conversations like this. Again, this is a conversation I was with my seven-year-old. We've been having conversations like this since they were about five. And this is aside from talking, we talk about budgeting.
00:30:31
Jim Crider
We talk about investing and saving. And those conversations will only pick up over time, I think.
00:30:36
Cade Grimm
Yeah. Well, think you're having those conversations today because like you said, you started these conversations when Atticus was four or five years old and, and yeah, they, some of those, the examples you've given were about specifically like, what should I spend my money on the golf cart or the trip to Colorado? But you're also, you're, you're, uh, uh, showing him how to think and, and, and,
00:31:00
Cade Grimm
not be reactive to things, but, but pause and ask questions and understand like this decision I'm about to make is going to impact other things. And I think once you kind of go down that, that rabbit hole of, uh, asking questions and trying to understand like what,
00:31:19
Cade Grimm
what your decision is, what other areas your potential decision is going to impact. And it just leads you down this like, okay, well, you start to get really curious about how a lot of things work. And that's probably why that's happening.
00:31:30
Cade Grimm
So you've taught him how to be a deep thinker and a strategic thinker.
00:31:34
Jim Crider
Yeah. yeah the starting to realize how how things are connected. It's really neat.
00:31:38
Cade Grimm
Yeah, exactly.
00:31:42
Jim Crider
i I think I was fortunate enough to grow up in a household where I was exposed to a lot of things financially.
00:31:50
Jim Crider
My parents weren't like having these crazy proactive conversations per se, but they also like, they did a great job and it was at home.
00:31:54
Cade Grimm
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:31:58
Jim Crider
It was at church. It was at school. I think I went through Dave Ramsey's financial peace university. five to nine times before I was out of high school. Like it was drilled in my head about like prudent spending and saving and debt.
00:32:11
Cade Grimm
yeah
00:32:14
Jim Crider
And, uh, I'm grateful for those basic lessons that most adults have never had. That was absolutely drilled in my brain from an early age. And again, I like,
00:32:25
Jim Crider
That started off, I think, when I was pretty young and just was reinforced over and over again through like my senior year of high school. i went through Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University or whatever, I think twice, just that year, once at church and then once at school.
00:32:39
Jim Crider
So it was just over and over again.
00:32:39
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:32:41
Jim Crider
And I think that's that's necessary. Someone like me, I need to hear things a few times before I can learn it, but especially a kid is just redundancy, repetitive, whatever want to call it, is... I think that's going to help you get in their brain. So giving them exposure. And sometimes there there are lessons that's easier for the non-parent to teach, especially I'm not, I'm not at this life phase yet. And hopefully our kids aren't like this, but statistically they probably will be.
00:33:04
Jim Crider
There are going to be certain lessons that's easier for the non-parent to teach. that's where it's having other good influences in their life. Someone that someone else that you trust, you know, close family, friends, other family, uncles, aunts, maybe they're having them having good friends where it's like, man, they need to learn this thing, but they're gonna take it they hear from me, they need to hear it from this other source and seeing what's around.
00:33:23
Cade Grimm
yeah
00:33:25
Jim Crider
I think that's really important as well. Yeah, that that was a conversation we had last.
00:33:29
Cade Grimm
yeah there's there's
00:33:30
Jim Crider
Our last conversation was about money scripts. Like when you saw things as a kid, you pick up these mini money scripts from your parents, but also maybe you pick up money scripts from things outside of your parents. Maybe it was another area. So understanding, hey, if your kids see the way that their rich uncle spends money, that probably is going to stick with them in some... i Not probably. It will stick with them in some capacity.
00:33:53
Jim Crider
So maybe you should have a of allow that to be a conversation piece later on as a...
00:33:54
Cade Grimm
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:33:57
Jim Crider
Did you notice, maybe they mentioned how they always have new cars. Well, let's talk about that. Why do they always have new cars and we don't? Or why do they have a really old car and we have a new one?
00:34:04
Cade Grimm
yeah
00:34:06
Jim Crider
And what's allowed for that? Or why is that important to them and us? Allow that to be conversations.
00:34:13
Cade Grimm
Yeah, I didn't as a kid go through like financial peace university and do all these things. i But I feel like my parents still did a really good job of teaching me value.
00:34:25
Cade Grimm
around money and how to think about money and and manage money appropriately and making decisions with money and all that. Like I was more of the kid that, uh, kind of like Atticus where I, I try to turn everything into a little business.
00:34:36
Cade Grimm
I had, you know, lemonade stands every weekend at my grandma's house. And, and that was all like my money to keep besides paying my grandma, whatever she, she had to pay for the supplies to make the lemonade.
00:34:48
Cade Grimm
Like, so I understood that. And then I i got to take this money home and,
00:34:51
Jim Crider
you paid your grandma franchise fees. hey
00:34:54
Cade Grimm
100%. Yep. Yep.
00:34:55
Cade Grimm
It was a, uh, I sold the business and in, 1998 for $4 million. uh,
00:35:01
Cade Grimm
no But yeah, I learned a lot from stuff like that. Like when when we did garage sales, I got to bring like some of my toys and things into the garage sale and whatever of my stuff I sold, I got to keep. And then I managed the cash register and I negotiated with all the people that were in the garage trying to buy stuff. And so my mom would pay me like a little hourly rate or whatever for for actually working in the garage sale, plus whatever I got to keep out of my stuff. And so I learned a lot about earning money. And then and then because I I did those things to earn the money.
00:35:32
Cade Grimm
I valued that money. And it wasn't like, uh, it wasn't like my money. My parents didn't give me an allowance of like, yeah, we'll give you 20 bucks a week or whatever. The only time I had money was if I got it, you know, from a birthday or, or whatever, or from lemonade stand or garage sale or something like that.
00:35:50
Cade Grimm
and so most of the time I was earning it. And, uh, that forced me to think a lot, a lot more about how I was going to use that money, whether I was going to save it for something, whether I just wanted to spend it on whatever.
00:36:03
Cade Grimm
So think there's a lot of value in it, just getting their hands dirty and like getting them involved in those types of things to learn how, you know, the real world works.
00:36:13
Jim Crider
I was the same way. I as was a kid from when I was as long as young as I can remember selling stuff on the side of the like on the side of the the curb. And I guess I wasn't a good marketer because I would just put up a sign that said junk sell because I was selling all my old junk.
00:36:26
Jim Crider
Yeah. Like when I was starting at eight, we lived on a relatively busy corner and across the street was a gymnastics studio and karate studio. And a lot of weekends they would have tournaments.
00:36:34
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:36:35
Jim Crider
So I knew it was gonna be a lot of kids across the street. So whenever there's a tournament, I'd hold a junk sale and it was all of my old toys. I didn't want any more or whatever. And I would sell stuff. It was great. Or i remember one time in in fifth grade,
00:36:49
Jim Crider
I went to a, a party, a retirement party, and they had a bunch of fishing lures as like the table decors. The guy, the guy who's retiring had was really into fishing. And after the party, I was able to collect all the fishing lures that were left over. And I took them to school the next morning and I sold them.
00:37:04
Jim Crider
And I marketed them as different, you know, like key chains or backpack decor or sometimes fishing lures.
00:37:12
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:37:12
Jim Crider
And I made money from that. Or and in high school, my freshman year of high school, there was a... Halloween party thing I went to. And this old lady made by hand these suckers that were the best suckers I've ever had.
00:37:24
Jim Crider
And no one ate them. So there were hundreds left.
00:37:25
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:37:26
Jim Crider
So I packaged them up. i i I kept some individual and I put some in sets of five and some in sets of 10. And the next day, the next two days at school, I sold suckers and I made like 300 bucks by selling suckers at school.
00:37:37
Jim Crider
So yeah, it's just...
00:37:38
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:37:41
Jim Crider
don't know. I think from a really old early age, I was instilled in me. Maybe that's my, my grandparents, uh, own several sex, uh, successful businesses. And I was just exposed to business early on. Maybe that's why i don't remember them like drilling my head. Like grandparents didn't sit me down and talk about business. We would go to my, my grandparents business. A lot of my family worked there.
00:38:02
Jim Crider
So I, maybe I was exposed to it, that, to that capacity where it seeped in. and and another neat thing that my, my family did was Again, through all this money stuff, and I could argue that this this came at a bad time for me personally, but my my grandparents did this thing where each of the grandparents would or each each of the grandkids rather would be given a book called The Law of Success by Napoleon Hill.
00:38:27
Jim Crider
It's a giant book. There's a book called Think and Grow Rich, which is like the summarized version of The Law Success. Anyways, you Each grandkid would read the Law of Success, and you got to have a year to read it.
00:38:40
Jim Crider
And the following year at Christmas, when all the family was gathered, you'd have to give a report to the whole family in front of them about what did you learn, what were your takeaways, and how are you going to apply it. And they would give you a sum of money afterwards that you had to invest and use for for for later on for delayed gratification purposes.
00:38:50
Cade Grimm
well
00:38:57
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:38:58
Jim Crider
Little lessons like that were, i don't know of any other families that do stuff like that. That's really neat. Now I would, I would say I mentioned earlier, I think that came at maybe a bad time in life that also coincided with, that was my senior year of high school when I did that.
00:39:11
Jim Crider
And I was already really into money and that put some fuel on the fire. I actually, after I finished the book, I reread the law success because I was really into it. and i read other Napoleon Hill books and I became obsessed with money. I would argue that I was probably like in love with money and that that's really bad.
00:39:22
Cade Grimm
isn
00:39:24
Jim Crider
That led to a lot of greed. And unfortunately like, It's no longer there, this, this bad view of money, but, say that did open up a view of money of business and entrepreneurship and of entrepreneurship and opportunities.
00:39:37
Jim Crider
So just having those conversations, open your kids up their horizons, like a school career choices. business. Again, teach your kids how to think through things, learning about themselves, learning about options. I think that's what a lot of childhood and even your twenties is about is learning about what's available out there and also learning about yourself. What do you enjoy and not enjoy? What are you good at?
00:39:59
Jim Crider
What are you bad at? What are your passions? Should you always follow your passions? Do you follow what you're good at? Even if you're not passionate about it, like these are, these are good conversations to have that you should be having with your kids regularly.
00:40:09
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
Allowance and Work Ethics
00:40:13
Cade Grimm
Yeah. it Okay.
00:40:14
Jim Crider
Let's go into some more taboo stuff that I don't i don't know the answers to this.
00:40:17
Jim Crider
I'd be curious. Let's talk about kids with allowances. So should you give your kids an allowance?
00:40:21
Cade Grimm
Hmm.
00:40:23
Jim Crider
If so, how do you decide how much that is? Is it dependent on chores they do? Do they just get a set amount? Do you not give them a allowance? I know like some families don't give allowance.
00:40:34
Jim Crider
They don't pay a weekly or monthly amount. They don't pay based off of things done. You just contribute to the family. But, you know, if you want to go to the movies, mom or dad gives you, know much movie costs anymore, 15 bucks to go to the movie.
00:40:48
Cade Grimm
Yeah, at least.
00:40:49
Jim Crider
Yeah, I never go to a movie. but Do you have any opinions there?
00:40:53
Cade Grimm
don't know.
00:40:54
Jim Crider
what i don't, I honestly, I don't think I have an opinion. i am so, my parents tried a lot of things. Do you have an opinion or I'd be, if if yes or no, but I'd also be curious to hear just like what it was like for you growing up and your takeaways from that.
00:41:09
Cade Grimm
Yeah, I can't say that I have a strong opinion. i have a thought. I would think that...
00:41:17
Cade Grimm
not Not just having an allowance that they get regardless of what they're doing, whether they're contributing to the household or sitting playing video games all day.
00:41:29
Cade Grimm
i don't think just a... i don't think an allowance without some kind of effort to earn that makes sense. Because I think like... I would think the purpose of giving a a young kid some kind of an allowance would be to teach them...
00:41:46
Cade Grimm
to create healthy habits around money. And I don't think you're going to value that money the same if it's just given to you versus if you earn it by doing something. for me, I, I didn't have an allowance, but the, the money that I got outside of like birthday money, was through, like I said, I had a lemonade stand or money that I made from selling some of my things at a garage sale.
00:42:14
Cade Grimm
I don't remember what year it was it was. like,
00:42:18
Cade Grimm
maybe like seventh grade ish, sixth grade, seventh grade, where Livestrong bracelets became really popular. And I remember buying a bunch of Livestrong bracelets online for like 50 cents a piece and then sell them at school for two bucks a piece.
00:42:33
Cade Grimm
Like that was like, there was a handful of kids that that sold Livestrong bracelets, stuff like that.
00:42:36
Jim Crider
Ha ha ha.
00:42:39
Cade Grimm
Like, and i always felt like I was doing something to earn whatever money I had. So maybe that's because maybe my thought, again, I don't have a strong opinion on it because there may be studies that show that I'm completely wrong, but my thinking is they should probably earn it in some way, shape or form.
00:42:56
Jim Crider
What about like if you wanted to go to a movie with friends when you're in eighth grade, but you didn't have money for it, would your parents give you the $6 for movie or too bad? You need to go sell. so You didn't sell enough lemonade last week. How was that handled?
00:43:11
Cade Grimm
Yeah. Yeah. Stuff like that. i I, yeah, I guess they did. So they would, they, I didn't have to use my garage sale money or cause I probably didn't have garage sale money to go to the movies. They would, they paid for that kind of stuff.
00:43:22
Cade Grimm
So I guess if if we consider that as part of an allowance,
00:43:22
Jim Crider
yeah I guess I like eighth grade. You're not cute enough to get yeah like eighth grade. You're cute enough to get lemonade stand money anymore. just so
00:43:29
Cade Grimm
no, definitely not.
00:43:29
Jim Crider
You're some kid out there selling lemonade that no one wants.
00:43:33
Cade Grimm
but That's why I flipped to Livestrong bracelets and, uh,
00:43:35
Jim Crider
Yes. You couldn't play the cute factor. Interesting.
00:43:40
Jim Crider
We, how my parents did things. i think they tried a lot and we're not here yet. I guess we could, maybe you we're, maybe we're not there yet because we've, we've chosen not to do anything. And that is a decision.
00:43:51
Jim Crider
My parents did a few things. I remember there was a point when I was a kid that you there were certain things you just had to do but then there are other things that, all right, if you go, if you mow the front yard, you get X. If you mow the backyard, which is smaller, you get Y. If you, taking care of your own room is your responsibility, but if you if you mop the floors throughout the house or if you,
00:44:12
Jim Crider
I don't know, whatever these things. And you get little stipends for those things. And my mom, my mom and dad had a chart on the fridge.
00:44:16
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:44:18
Jim Crider
You'd mark off what you did and you would get X dollars per week for doing those things. You could do that. Or maybe some families like you get $10 a month. I don't know the inflation adjusted numbers for normal allowances anymore, but you get $10 a month and you're just expected to contribute.
00:44:37
Jim Crider
You just, you're here as you're part of the family. i don't i don't get paid I don't get paid to do the dishes. No one gives me money the dishes. I do the dishes because I'm part of the family. Why should you get paid?
00:44:46
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:44:46
Jim Crider
Well, my kids also can't have a job. I'm trying to teach them to learn to work. like These are arguments I have in my own mind. Or do you not even give them money a weekly basis? you just If you need it, I will help if we deem it necessary or good or whatever, then yes, I'll give you the money to go and buy that thing or go do that thing.
00:45:07
Jim Crider
Which again, we could, it's like, well, what are you teaching them there? Like no one, money doesn't just magically appear in my pocket because I want to go to a movie with friends. I had to earn it in some capacity. So are they, are you indirectly earning it by contributing to the family?
00:45:16
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:45:20
Jim Crider
But if you do it directly by contributing to family, are you telling them that they only contribute to the family for a financial reward? Then you're, we could argue that you're then incentivizing only contributing if you're financially motivated rather than just doing what's right because you're part of a family.
00:45:34
Jim Crider
This is, Here's here's all what we're doing right now. And again, my kids are young. So right now we have everyone clean. Like Kendra and I do most of the cleaning, obviously, but most evenings or weekends or whatever, like tonight, I'll get home to an absolute wrestling match. it's gonna be chaos, but I'll get home. The house will be a disaster and we'll just roll up our sleeves and I'll get get to it. Ken and I will hop on dinner and dishes and everything. And I'll holler the kids like, all right, y'all need to clean up the school room the playroom and the living room and pick up all your toys.
00:46:06
Jim Crider
And they just do it. don't pay them afterwards. Now there are some times maybe, maybe the house is a little bit messy and two of the kids are playing really well on their own. They're off doing their own thing.
00:46:18
Jim Crider
And I'll grab Atticus say, Hey buddy. if you clean up all the toys, I'll give you 50 cents. And at that point I would pay him to do it because he's the only one clean. His brothers aren't doing it.
00:46:30
Jim Crider
And maybe I just don't, usually I would say everyone needs a clean, but I enjoy our kids playing well.
00:46:30
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:46:34
Jim Crider
And I, I want to take advantage of the quiet and not disrupt that. So instead of disrupting that to make everyone clean, I'll just motivate Atticus. And in a sense, that's unfair because he didn't make all that mess. I'm not making him out clean. So therefore I will subsidize that cleaning responsibility with, with payment because,
00:46:49
Jim Crider
Because it is, in a sense, unfair. That's how I'm handling. That's how I'm not. We are handling this right now. I don't know what it's going to look like. Again, that's that's why I started this conversation of I don't have and the answers, per se, on how to execute all this stuff.
00:47:04
Jim Crider
But I'm sure there's plenty of good books out there that will give their opinions. And I'm sure they're all differing, just like baby books. Everyone's like, oh, you should let your baby cry. And everyone's like, if a baby cries, it's going to ruin it. It's like, well, maybe you're both wrong or right. I don't know.
00:47:16
Jim Crider
So.
00:47:17
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:47:17
Jim Crider
and have Any thoughts there, Kay?
00:47:18
Cade Grimm
draw
00:47:19
Jim Crider
It's all speculation.
00:47:19
Cade Grimm
I'm sure all those books were, I'm sure all those books were written by parents that were just kind of winging it while they did it anyways. And they're just sharing opinions on what worked for them. It doesn't mean that's what's going to work for you.
00:47:30
Jim Crider
Yeah. it's really it's where You're not going to really know you're're you're not going to really know like the impact of your parenting until your kids are like adult adults.
00:47:32
Cade Grimm
But yeah, what you what you're doing sounds sounds good.
00:47:43
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:47:43
Jim Crider
Until they're probably, i would say, in their thirty s Maybe I'm saying that because I'm in my mid thirties, but you're probably not gonna know like how you did raising your kids until they're fully formed adults, until you've had enough time to see how are they navigating decisions as an adolescent, as a teen, as a young adult, as an adult, how are they choosing their spouse or or not?
00:48:03
Cade Grimm
a
00:48:09
Jim Crider
how are they How are they raising their kids? Then you start seeing it at that point. They've flown the coop. Like, yeah, it's, it's interesting being a parent's very interesting.
00:48:17
Cade Grimm
Yeah. Yeah. Like you said, it's not a, you don't get a free trial run.
00:48:20
Jim Crider
Uh,
00:48:22
Cade Grimm
It's, it's just your chance. And then you'll just see how it, you see how it worked out in the end.
00:48:27
Jim Crider
Of course, we could tie in like should your – should you have your kids work? And if so, at what age and how much should they work and all of that. So, i mean I had – I worked odd jobs as a as a preteen.
00:48:40
Jim Crider
i had a I had a full – like a summer job as soon as I could at like 15 or 16, making like five bucks an hour. Yeah. i I had jobs all through high school. I worked some during college.
00:48:53
Jim Crider
i had friends that worked a lot more than me. had friends that like they had to they had to start paying room and board when they could have a job, like to their own house.
00:49:01
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:49:01
Jim Crider
I had friends who never had to work.
00:49:01
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:49:02
Jim Crider
Kendra never had a job. Her parents, Kendra's brother had a job because he wasn't a good a good student at school. Kendra never had a job because she had a 4.0 GPA and her parents said, well, you're taking your job of school seriously.
00:49:14
Jim Crider
Thus, that is your job. don't go get one scoop and ice cream.
00:49:19
Cade Grimm
the
00:49:20
Jim Crider
This should be your job. And I, I don't have an answer there. I think, I think I do like the idea of kids working and having a job as far as like how much should they work and what's the purpose of it. Is it, is the purpose for them to make minimum wage is a purpose for them to learn a skill is a purpose for them to learn to work.
00:49:39
Jim Crider
Like,
00:49:39
Cade Grimm
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:49:39
Jim Crider
Again, that's something I'd have to mull over and like think through. like what is the What is the actual value they're receiving through working? And are there trade-offs?
00:49:48
Cade Grimm
yeah
00:49:49
Jim Crider
If they're working, that's less time to do. Maybe you want them to learn the piano or study at school or maybe at their work, the place they work, there's actually really bad influences. So therefore, it's not worth it.
00:50:00
Jim Crider
Maybe there's great influences. Do you have any thoughts there?
00:50:04
Cade Grimm
Yeah. I think you said Kendra's parents had her basically treat school like a job because she had a 4.0, right? Yeah. That's kind of what my situation was.
00:50:15
Cade Grimm
Not because I had a 4.0, I was not that smart, but i was a golfer.
00:50:18
Jim Crider
You got to treat that 1.6 as a full-time job, buddy.
00:50:22
Cade Grimm
Yeah, i do. No, my mya my skill was golf. And so my my parents had me basically treat golf like a job.
00:50:33
Cade Grimm
It worked out because I ended up playing golf in college for on a full scholarship. So I guess all those years that I spent just all day long, every day at the golf course, it there was value there somewhere once I got to college.
00:50:44
Jim Crider
Yeah, way way more value than $5 an hour flipping burgers.
00:50:48
Cade Grimm
Absolutely. Yeah. and a lot more experiences like there's traveling to tournaments and all the people that I met and all the, like you learn a lot, uh, and as an athlete. And, so yeah, I, I never had a job in high school, in college, like my full job was golf.
00:51:06
Cade Grimm
Now I feel like i I, wish, I wish I had a job, like even if it was something super part time,
00:51:18
Cade Grimm
I think where I would have gotten value out of it would be, i would have seen what the real world was like. Cause like golf as a job is you're playing a game like, but I treated it like a job, but I got to play it at the golf course every day from, you know, 7am to 6pm. I'd go home for dinner and hang out, watch a movie, get up the next morning, do it all over again. That's a pretty stress-free way to live.
00:51:44
Cade Grimm
I think if i think if i if I had a job in high school where every night I had to go, whatever, flip burgers, and I saw what it was like, what the real world was like as far as earning money, it may have motivated me to take...
00:52:01
Cade Grimm
the privilege I had to play golf all day, every day, i may have taken that more seriously and maybe golf would have taken me farther than it did. i had, golf was incredible to me. i like I said, I got to do a lot, see a lot, meet a lot of people and all of that. But maybe if I really understood, man, earning a living, doing what most people do, having a nine to five is really hard.
00:52:23
Cade Grimm
I might've taken my, my role in golf a little bit more seriously. So I've thought about that a lot.
00:52:28
Jim Crider
That's one the interesting things about being an adult is reflecting on the opportunities that you're, that your kids have and wanting them to take full advantage. Not that you're trying to like live through your kids, but you are able to look back on it now and say like, no, please do you have this thing?
00:52:45
Jim Crider
Like use it, enjoy it, take advantage of it.
00:52:47
Cade Grimm
e Yeah.
00:52:50
Jim Crider
yeah, just the the thought of like working hard, you know, it's, uh, Everyone wants to think they would have been, you know, if I would have stayed with a could have could have gone pro, you know, the classic we would have if coach would have put me in, we would have won state.
00:53:00
Cade Grimm
Yeah. yeah
00:53:04
Jim Crider
I met a guy few years ago. it was a dad. He was a his kid was on Atticus's T-ball team or whatever. And this dad, we were talking at practice one day and he was saying his brother actually plays in the MLB major league baseball player.
00:53:19
Jim Crider
And he grew up in the same town as I did.
00:53:19
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:53:22
Jim Crider
playing little league said wow so was your brother just always a phenom everyone knew from an early age that he would he was the best and he said actually no he was always mediocre from he was a kid he was mediocre in middle school he's mediocre even in high school he's mediocre he went and played college still mediocre but he just stayed with it and now he plays in the major leagues i remember reading another story few years ago i think it was maybe pepperdine or a school in southern california there was a guy who same thing mediocre kid mediocre high school
00:53:49
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:53:51
Jim Crider
made the team ish in college i can't remember the exact but he would basically like shag balls uh and like he wouldn't even throw bp like batting practice he was like go and gather balls up and then he would every a while he'd be able to talk some players into like throwing him batting practice and like hit hit him some uh infield or outfield and uh he did that and finally his senior year he was able to play a little bit Isn't he playing minor leagues and now he's in the major leagues.
00:54:16
Jim Crider
Like he just stayed with it. And that's an interesting.
00:54:19
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:54:19
Jim Crider
That's like obviously not totally related to like, you know, being a bus boy, but teaching your kids these lessons of like, you just work hard, do the, do the little things well and stay at it.
00:54:28
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:54:29
Jim Crider
Like those are good lessons.
00:54:29
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
00:54:30
Jim Crider
Like I would say that that is more valuable than making six bucks an hour. I could give my six, cook my kids $6 an hour. to, and they don't have to go do that. But is that the role? Is it for them make, maybe it is, maybe that is it like, nope, you don't get an allowance. You only, you only get money if you go when you make it on your own.
00:54:46
Jim Crider
So the the actual benefit is the actual money. But even then is the benefit them, is it the money or is it them learning to work? I don't, yeah, I don't think there's necessarily a right answer.
00:54:54
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:54:57
Jim Crider
I think a lot of this has to do with like your kids, uh, personalities, But it could be argued that maybe you're helping shape their personalities through this.
00:55:06
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
00:55:07
Jim Crider
I don't know. and no i think this is...
00:55:10
Cade Grimm
Yeah, it's tough.
00:55:11
Jim Crider
Yeah. but let's let's Let's flip over for for for our older listeners.
Discussing Inheritance and Sentimental Value
00:55:16
Jim Crider
So these are still your kids, but they're they're out of the house now. And how do you have should you have conversations with your adult kids about money?
00:55:23
Jim Crider
And how do you how do you get these conversations? And what what what are even conversations are we talking about? I have talked with tens of thousands of people about their money. And i have only had person person
00:55:41
Jim Crider
that comes to mind ever that during a conversation, I said, wow, that is wrong. I had one person who said, you know what? I don't need to work hard or save because my parents have a lot of money and I'll just get it all when they die. It was almost this like gleeful hope for the parents to die.
00:55:55
Jim Crider
That's the only time I've ever seen it in the thousands of conversations I've ever had. But from my experience, most, it seems that most, uh,
00:55:59
Cade Grimm
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:56:04
Jim Crider
people are like approaching or in retirement steer away from having money conversations with their kids because they think their kids are gonna respond like that anomaly did. Like, I don't want my kids to, you know, wait around for us to die. i want them to expect inheritance. I don't want things to get weird. I don't want X, Y, and In my experience, that's not the norm.
00:56:24
Jim Crider
So I would argue that it would be generally and typically better to have conversations with your kids, adult kids about money.
00:56:35
Jim Crider
Kid, do have any thoughts there before we get to like specific areas? We can talk through like these types of conversations.
00:56:42
Cade Grimm
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I feel like in that scenario, they, where the, the, uh, maybe adult kid or even younger kid learned about a future inheritance and lacked motivation to do anything,
00:56:58
Cade Grimm
they were going to fully re rely on that inheritance. I feel like the miss, the miss there wasn't that you brought up inheritance. It probably goes farther back to like teaching them the value of working hard and having pride and contributing to society.
00:57:11
Cade Grimm
So, yeah, I don't know. I don't know that the, I would argue that the, the mistake wasn't informing your kid that they're probably going inherit some money one day. It was going farther back than that.
00:57:22
Jim Crider
yeah i would i'd be sure to say maybe i maybe i'm wrong here but probably probably some other misalignments that we would say oh that's not healthy uh that's that's not good right financial conversations that often come up like i mean we can get into the specifics as far as planning around like okay discussing discussing inheritance like financial inheritance should you talk about that with your kids or your grandkids like hey
00:57:29
Cade Grimm
Sure. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:57:46
Jim Crider
you, when we pass away or before we pass away, we, would we we would like to give you this money either now or later on, or is that a conversation you, you wait to have, or you never have.
00:57:59
Jim Crider
So a few things I I've seen is again, these are people who a of these people are people who are good relationships and money was not a problem, but yet still the money came in and caused division in the family.
00:58:15
Jim Crider
And be it because maybe the inheritance was split evenly and one child felt that they should be favored, or maybe one child was favored in the inheritance and they felt like that was not fair.
00:58:15
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:58:25
Jim Crider
So i would I would argue that one, just from like an emotional, healthy family perspective, instead of just never having that conversation and they'll hash it out when they when when you die probably that conversation while you're alive i think that what you want is for your for you to have a healthy family both now and for your kids as a legacy so in regards to a legacy you should probably help protect that by having these conversations proactively and then you have the technical side of planning like let's say say your kids
00:58:57
Jim Crider
one of your kids and their spouse, they they work a job that's, they do great work, but it just doesn't make much money. But you know that they're they're going to inherit $2 million dollars when you pass away, or you're going to give them that money.
00:59:09
Jim Crider
and that would drasically That could drastically change how they are viewing being able to help their kids, saving for college, saving for retirement, decisions on maybe maybe your kids are never going on a vacation because they feel like they have to over save for retirement. they They don't have any money to save for retirement, but they never go on a trip because every dollar they they have extra, they're saving for retirement.
00:59:32
Jim Crider
But you know that one day they're going to get $3 million or could be consistent. They're going to get $2 million. dollars So this whole time they could have gone that trip. Like, I think you would want them to be able to not saying your kids should be like that weirdo who wants their parents to die. So because that, there's going to go traveling all the time. But if you've raised good, if you've raised good, responsible kids,
00:59:50
Jim Crider
Like, I think you would want for them, like, please go enjoy this and don't worry. You'll have something there. I think it's good to leave it. I think it's good to inherit, leave an inheritance. There's a, there's a book in the Bible I read daily. It's the book of Proverbs. It's 31, 31 chapters of this book.
01:00:05
Jim Crider
And there's, there's things that are talks about like how the righteous leave an inheritance for the children and their children's children. I think that's a good thing to do. And, uh, yeah, having that conversation, or maybe it's something of all along like tax planning, like intergenerational tax planning, talking about goodness, business legacy, what happens to the business?
01:00:25
Jim Crider
You know, there's, there's classics, uh, statistics about how like the ultra rich families, the first one was a builder. The second one was the, the, the grower of the wealth and third generation was the person who really lost all the wealth.
01:00:37
Jim Crider
Like it's probably because like not healthy conversations intergenerationally,
01:00:37
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay.
01:00:41
Jim Crider
Yeah. So how do you, should you, and how do you discuss inheritance at first? I would suppose like probably should be discussed. You should bring it up. and you should have that in healthy conversation. It may be, it's tough. Like, Hey, we're going to give this sibling more because i like them more or, or they make less money. They just need it more or whatever. Like, or maybe, we're gonna give it to everyone evenly because we love you all. and I know that this one person has more money, but we,
01:01:08
Jim Crider
that's, they've made the decisions. We want to, we want to be fair. Like just have those conversations. Don't wait for your kids to try to, the kids will simply be guessing. Why did they do it? And I'll probably lead to hurt again.
01:01:18
Jim Crider
Maybe this is not all the time, but again, I've, I've had a lot and a lot of conversations and almost every time, if not every time it would have been better if these conversations were had versus less left to guessing.
01:01:18
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
01:01:30
Cade Grimm
Yeah, I would agree with that. my I guess the one thing i'll I'll pose or the one scenario, maybe this is a one-off scenario, but if like, let's say, let's say the parent shares with, in your your example, where there's a, the their kids are working these jobs, they they feel like they don't have enough retirement. So all of their money's going towards savings.
01:01:56
Cade Grimm
they're So they're not taking the trip. If the parent knows that you're going to hear it 2 million bucks one day, And they they decide to share that with these kids. And so the kids kind of adjust how they're currently living and spending, planning for this future $2 million. dollars But you know some unexpected health issues arise for the parents or whatever, and by the time or they live a lot longer than they were thinking. And now by the time that the parents pass away, either that 2 million is gone or it's way less than the 2 million they thought they were gonna have.
01:02:33
Cade Grimm
But for the last 15 years, the kids were planning for, even though they were kind of doing it responsibly, they didn't quit their jobs and say, hey, we're going to get two million bucks one day. But they they adjusted their lifestyle in what they thought was a responsible way.
01:02:49
Cade Grimm
The inheritance never came, and now they are set back.
01:02:52
Jim Crider
Yeah, that's fair. I think that comes with a few things. One, again, raising not bad kids and then raising kids who are prudent and not now fully speculating on an inheritance.
01:03:00
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
01:03:04
Jim Crider
But then also not just the need to have an initial conversation of like, hey, you can get a million bucks or 2 million bucks one day, but ongoing conversations of, hey, we're still alive.
01:03:04
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
01:03:14
Jim Crider
Hey, there's a, obviously the the market dropped a lot and that's, that's hers. Hey, we would love, I'm not saying you just give them their hair and say like, hey, you're going to do these things. Maybe you, I'm not saying you have to do this by any means, but it's like, hey,
01:03:27
Jim Crider
I know you've talked about wanting on this trip and you can't, you'll do a great job working. You're doing a great job parenting. We would love to help you all go on this trip. So you give them the $5,000 to go on that trip.
01:03:38
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
01:03:38
Jim Crider
Like, $5,000 wreck your retirement?
01:03:40
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
01:03:42
Jim Crider
That's $5,000. If you want to keep a record of it, that's $5,000 less than they'll inherit. Okay. Like maybe that's the type of conversation.
01:03:47
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
01:03:48
Jim Crider
Like how is that handled?
01:03:49
Cade Grimm
Yep.
01:03:50
Jim Crider
Again, it's, it's probably having regular, like not constant conversations, not being weird about it, but also having an openness of, Hey, like, let's just talk about these things. Remove this wall of money being taboo.
01:04:02
Jim Crider
Like what we can, the things that like taboo is like, what,
01:04:03
Cade Grimm
yeah
01:04:05
Jim Crider
Politics, money, religion. It's like three areas that massively impact your life.
01:04:08
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
01:04:10
Jim Crider
and We're going pretend we can't talk about them. Like, okay, that's unhealthy. So we're going to cover up unhealthy relationships by covering up, by but by not having conversations that could be unhealthy. Like that's odd.
01:04:22
Jim Crider
So maybe we should get past that taboo and actually...
01:04:22
Cade Grimm
yeah
01:04:25
Jim Crider
like have good heck that that could be healthy. It's like, actually, how do we, how do we have conversations around things that are taboo and healthy way? Like maybe that helps actually get past these massive issues we have, uh, nationally and globally about not being able to talk about these things and have healthy conversations. How can we expect people to have healthy conversations? Don't even know each other. We can't healthy conversation with your siblings, or your parents.
01:04:48
Jim Crider
What have we done?
01:04:49
Cade Grimm
see
01:04:49
Jim Crider
Cause we've hid behind these things.
01:04:50
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
01:04:51
Jim Crider
And now we were pretend like they're the enemy or You can't, you can't have a healthy conversation and yeah we sort of trained ourselves in that for generations. Yeah. Have a conversation, man.
01:05:00
Cade Grimm
Yep.
01:05:01
Jim Crider
It's helpful. It's literally is more helpful and probably having these conversations across the table from each other politically or religiously or whatever is probably healthier too. all right.
01:05:09
Cade Grimm
Yep.
01:05:10
Jim Crider
So discussing inheritance financial, this is a really interesting one discussing non-financial inheritance.
01:05:10
Cade Grimm
you
01:05:15
Jim Crider
So it's like, man, uh, like my grandparents, my grandparents have a lot of neat stuff, a lot of neat stuff from trips they've been on They also, they go to, uh, they used to go to a lot of, estate sales. So they would get like really cool artwork from estate sales for like super cheap. Cause would always like, they'd wait till last day. And if the painting was still there, then they would get it for pennies on the dollar.
01:05:36
Jim Crider
My grandparents have a whole lot of neat stuff.
01:05:36
Cade Grimm
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
01:05:38
Jim Crider
Uh, And it's like, wow, I have a ton of aunts and uncles and cousins. But it's like, well, how do you navigate that? who gets Who gets the vase from Venice on that neat trip I've heard the story about five times? Who gets that? Because that that's sentimentally valuable.
01:05:54
Jim Crider
or Or maybe that that painting. Let's say my mom was on a trip with... my grandparents when she was 20, uh, in Budapest and there was a painting they have.
01:06:05
Jim Crider
Should mom get that painting or is it first come first serve at the, at the estate auction? Like, okay. Non-financially, or do you try to itemize every single asset and thing in your will? At what point is it just nuts?
01:06:18
Jim Crider
Like I want, i want this couch to go this person or do you just leave it open? So one thing one thing I heard about a few years ago, it was in a podcast I was listening to. it was a a family office.
01:06:29
Jim Crider
So a family office podcast. So it was this firm that works with a deck of millionaires and billionaire families, just a handful of them. And they were talking about this.
01:06:40
Jim Crider
How do you... like the non-financial things, like the the family heirlooms, the stuff. How do you divvy it up? They had a cool idea. is This could be weird if you get let it get weird.
01:06:52
Jim Crider
But what they did was, it was like Christmas, or at some point they knew the whole family was going to be gathering. They gave, everyone got together, and everyone in the family was given a thousand monopoly dollars or something like that.
01:07:04
Jim Crider
And they had an auction.
01:07:04
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
01:07:06
Jim Crider
And if it's like, yeah, that painting is super important to me because I've just think it's beautiful or because as a sentimental value, I'm going to put all thousand dollars on that, or I don't care about it. going to put a hundred bucks on these things and I'll bid.
01:07:18
Jim Crider
i thought that was a good idea.
01:07:18
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
01:07:28
Cade Grimm
yeah
01:07:34
Jim Crider
But you know, I think it's a neat way to even see from like the grandparents perspective, like, wow, they do like these things. And like these things, even connecting those memories.
01:07:45
Jim Crider
I talked, to I tried to talk to my grandparents about these things. So I love going to my grandparents house and just walking, walking around and looking at little knickknacks. They have so many cool knickknacks and looking at them, but also asking about the stories, like what's this from and who is that person?
01:07:53
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
01:07:56
Jim Crider
And where did y'all get this? And what's the story behind, behind this? And it's neat over the years. I found that a lot of the paintings that I really enjoy are things that my, my granny painted. It's like, wow, you painted that.
01:08:07
Jim Crider
That's amazing. She's like oh yeah, I did that here. And I turned out like 10 years later, we were on this trip and i didn't even know it, but this is what I painted was this, this little coastal village. Like, wow. And like those, and you, you can't have these conversations or you could, like, this is, this could be a way of having further conversations.
01:08:24
Jim Crider
So don't know.
01:08:25
Cade Grimm
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
01:08:25
Jim Crider
I would, I would argue that yeah these decisions will be made and one day, whether or without you there and, Maybe, maybe you don't have enough neat stuff. Maybe there's one kid or maybe there's, you know, two kids or whatever. It's simple.
01:08:39
Jim Crider
Maybe you have a lot of cool stuff and it's like, how's this going divvied up? Is it all going to go? Like, maybe no one wants it. and It'll all go to a state sale or go to Goodwill, or maybe they're going to fight over it or what. So don't know, just get the creative juices flowing on. How do you have these conversations?
01:08:53
Jim Crider
You have any thoughts there, Cade?
01:08:54
Cade Grimm
Yeah. yeah that the When you were describing it before before you brought up the Monopoly auction, that i was kind of thinking through some kind of a voting system or just having a conversation. like I'm sure if the family all spent 30 minutes at Thanksgiving talking about, man, I love this thing. And well, I want that. And that painting is cool. And and that should go to me.
01:09:20
Cade Grimm
People just sat and had a conversation about, you know, uh what things carried more sentimental value to them than another i'm sure everybody could arrive at some common ground and be super happy with things they were going to end up with one day and just taking the time to have that conversation whether you do a a make it fun and have a monopoly auction which i think that's a really cool idea or you just have a conversation about it Either way, I think I think doing it doing it that way versus just waiting until grandparents pass away and you get what you get, that's going to cause.
01:09:54
Cade Grimm
Yeah, I think I would imagine more tension and more.
01:10:00
Cade Grimm
More fighting than if you just took the time to handle it now.
01:10:03
Jim Crider
what was the, show there was something, there's a show, i don't know if it Seinfeld or someone, there's a show where like, like I want you to write your name on whatever. And like, you go and there's like secretly writing their name on stuff. Like maybe you, you know, your kids put, you have your kids, but sticky notes on it, but then you're around for another 15 years and now there's all your stuff in your house as your sticky notes on it or something.
01:10:25
Jim Crider
uh,
01:10:26
Cade Grimm
That's funny.
01:10:26
Jim Crider
Yeah. And maybe you're like, man, this could be weird though. talking about when I'm dead. Well, you're going to you will die. We will all die one day. Like, why are we goingnna pretend that's not going to happen? At least like have good conversations.
01:10:36
Jim Crider
My goodness. Like, unless you raise really odd kids or you just have really odd kids, like, like this should be good. Like they love you and you love them. Like allow this to be a time of like, again, sort of like funerals.
01:10:45
Cade Grimm
isnt
01:10:49
Jim Crider
It's like, Man, i this I wish they were here for this. like, well, then goodness, you probably should express that before they passed away. Like, let them know that you love them. Okay, well, then let's let's sort of try to do this in a sense as well. Like, let's facilitate these good conversations while everyone's around to have good, healthier conversations.
01:11:03
Jim Crider
It's probably lot of times better that way.
01:11:04
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
01:11:07
Cade Grimm
Yep.
01:11:07
Jim Crider
hey Hey, we could get to this. like How do you help your... We sort of got into that. like How do you help your kids financially, your grandkids
Financial Support and Role Reversal
01:11:14
Jim Crider
financially? like Do you give your grandkids money? Do you pay for your kids, your grandkids or your grandkids college? Do you give the money to your kids to help pay for college? you subsidize it?
01:11:24
Jim Crider
you know There's a technical side there. like you know Maybe you live in a state that gets a state income tax deduction for a 529, but you're yeah your kids and grandkids don't, then... Who, where should the five, you want a 529 plan? What state should the 529 plan be held in?
01:11:39
Jim Crider
You know, maybe the grandparents live in a state, maybe the grandparents live in Texas, there's no state income tax deduction, but the kids live in New York where there is for 529. maybe the, uh, I forgot which way I just said it.
01:11:52
Jim Crider
Anyways, maybe the grandparents give the money to the kids that they were going to put the 529, but instead they give to the kids.
01:11:56
Cade Grimm
Yep.
01:11:57
Jim Crider
So the kids can then put the money to the 529 to get the state income tax deduction. If it you know there's all the you know tax stuff about if they're phased out, but yeah, if they can get the credit maybe, or the deduction, maybe they do.
01:12:04
Cade Grimm
Yep.
01:12:07
Jim Crider
Like, how do you navigate that? And that's aside from the, do you help them?
01:12:09
Cade Grimm
Yep.
01:12:11
Jim Crider
How do you help them? Do you you know cars, college, weddings, house purchases, all these things, both for your kids and your grandkids, you know, as the classic one to spoil your gosh, we don't even conversation we've had, like you've, your kids age, spoiling your grandkids.
01:12:26
Jim Crider
How do you, how would you navigate that?
01:12:27
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
01:12:28
Jim Crider
Uh, buying things for them or helping out, but, uh, that's a whole can of worms. Let's, let's go. the last part, is sort of helping to set of the expectations.
01:12:39
Jim Crider
Hmm.
01:12:41
Jim Crider
The, the script is flipped.
01:12:46
Jim Crider
You spent your life raising these kids, you tears and blood and sweat and time and emotions and sleepless nights
01:13:02
Cade Grimm
Mm-hmm.
01:13:03
Jim Crider
for decades was spent on helping them. maybe as you've aged, now it's switched.
01:13:14
Jim Crider
Maybe you need their help. How do you, should you broach that conversation? Maybe you need their help financially. Like, Hey, we don't have as much as we hoped we spend. We also, we spend it all on helping you and your siblings, or we just never had it or the market wiped us out or whatever.
01:13:33
Jim Crider
Maybe they need, you need to talk with your kids about moving in. or maybe it's not that severe. maybe it's, Hey, like we need, we need help with our health.
01:13:47
Jim Crider
Like we have long-term care or or we don't want to live in a facility. We want to live with family. Do you have that conversation with your kids? Do you, do you, do you want your kids to bring that conversation up? Do you not want to be talked about? Should you ask their, your kids for their help? Like,
01:14:01
Jim Crider
Do you, do you not want their help with long-term care? So you go and you, you live in a facility or you get outside help. If you want their help, should you ask them about it? Again, I'm not saying I have the answers, but, I hope I know my, my parents and my in-laws live four or five minutes from us.
01:14:21
Jim Crider
And i am so grateful for the way that my parents raised my brother and I, and I'm grateful for the way that Kendra's parents raised, uh, her and her brother. and I like God willing, I, I, I will, I believe we'll, we'll make it a point to stay here and help our parents in any way we can.
01:14:38
Jim Crider
through their lives. And I think that's something, maybe maybe they have a bazillion dollars and they have or they have a long-term care policy that will allow them to have the best care ever, way better than I could.
01:14:48
Jim Crider
like maybe Maybe mom doesn't want me to give her a sponge bath or whatever. But just if if you need help, maybe it's not a sponge bath, maybe it's like having a ramp built from the house or just help with doctor bills or just help physically. like You know, it's it's, it's just interesting. Think to this life, how much you've poured out for your kids and suddenly you need something from them. Are you okay with having that conversation of, Hey, I need help physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever, financially.
01:15:16
Jim Crider
yeah, the tables have turned. what does that look like for you? It's sort of a bummer way to end the conversation. Can you have any thoughts there or a better way to end it? That's not as depressing.
01:15:30
Cade Grimm
I don't know. I think... I think once you become a parent, you, and you see how hard it can be and you experience that just different level of love, and all the sacrifices you make for your kids and just what that, what all that entails until you are a parent, it's hard to really fully appreciate all that your parents have done for you.
01:15:59
Cade Grimm
and
01:15:59
Jim Crider
Would you say until you're a parent, it's not a parent?
01:16:00
Cade Grimm
and
01:16:03
Cade Grimm
It's not a parent until you are a parent. Oh my gosh. Only from you. but yeah, so I think, once you've had kids and you realize, man, my parents did so much for me, uh, at least this is my, my perspective. And it sounds like it's yours too, is, I would do anything that I possibly can for my parents if they need it.
01:16:30
Cade Grimm
Now that kind of goes back to also like you need to have really thoughtful and transparent and open conversations, not only with your parents, but also with your spouse to make sure that like, Hey, we're both on the same page here.
01:16:40
Jim Crider
Hmm. Yeah.
01:16:42
Cade Grimm
It it comes back, I think to just open, transparent, honest conversation because I've heard, and I'm sure as I'm sure you have too, and anyone listening to this has probably heard of stories where in-laws aging in-laws move in they're it causes a bunch of tension.
01:16:58
Cade Grimm
And now the, the, the marriage is, is teetering on the edge because of all the change that has happened with aging in-laws moving in. It was like, just stop and take the time to have a conversation about what this might look like so that everyone's on the same page.
01:17:13
Jim Crider
Amen.
01:17:14
Cade Grimm
And I feel like especially, yeah know, obviously I'm not, I'm not to this point yet, so I can't speak to it with direct experience, but I would imagine as As a parent who now has adult kids that have kids and lives of their own, if you end up in a position where you need financial support from your kids, it's probably a hard thing to ask for because you feel like a burden. It's like, man, you have your own life, your own things that you're working through.
01:17:43
Cade Grimm
i don't want to be i don't want to be someone that that's keeping you from achieving the things you want to achieve. like That's the opposite of what a parent wants for their kids. But I think understanding that assuming you did a decent job as a parent, your kids probably have a great appreciation for all you did for them.
01:18:00
Cade Grimm
So not being afraid to, again, keeps coming back to not being afraid to just have open and honest communication around where you're at, what you might need, and talking through how all of those decisions could impact not just the aging parent, but the the kids that now are stepping into that more caretaker role.
01:18:20
Jim Crider
Cade, we forgot to do this on
Final Thoughts: Communication in Family Finances
01:18:21
Jim Crider
our last episode, so we'll, let's do it now. So bullet point, final thoughts, summary of, summary of conversation or one thing you'd want to leave listeners with.
01:18:31
Cade Grimm
Because I think it keeps coming up over and over, I would say don't be afraid to have open and honest, transparent communication about anything.
01:18:42
Cade Grimm
I think that that will make any decision you're making or anything you're navigating that much easier.
01:18:48
Jim Crider
yeah I would say, and this goes back to the the beginning of the conversation with with young kids, is having having conversations that aren't just teaching, well, here's what it is. There are times when you say it, it's this way because it's this way, but trying to have those conversations, here's why we're doing things. And gosh, that's from from when they're little all the way to when you have adult kids.
01:19:07
Jim Crider
Here's why we're doing this. here's why you're Here's why inheritance looks like this, or lack thereof. Here's why.
01:19:13
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
01:19:13
Jim Crider
And helping understand the the value side of those things. Kate, what about, you have a you have a fun yeah have a fun question for me today.
Hosts' Interests Beyond Financial Planning
01:19:24
Cade Grimm
Yeah. What if, so if you're you were not a financial planner, what what do you think you'd be doing?
01:19:30
Jim Crider
I can say it two ways. One, I could I would maybe see myself in like ministry in the church. I would enjoy that. Uh, if not doing that, then, something related to creating and curating experiences.
01:19:44
Jim Crider
So be it a, uh, some sort of boutique resort or, rush like a very like experience related restaurants or cafe, something where you can really curate like memories, moments, experiences for people. I i love that.
01:20:07
Jim Crider
What about yourself?
01:20:09
Cade Grimm
Man, uh, my, my answer is going to sound really shallow after that one, but I think I would, would be, you're not going to be surprised to hear. I would love to be a professional golfer.
01:20:22
Cade Grimm
That'd be really cool.
01:20:23
Jim Crider
That's cool too.
01:20:24
Cade Grimm
Yep.
01:20:26
Jim Crider
let's see. always have silly ones that the kids ask me. well here, let's, let's go with it. Let's go the easy one. I've been asking Adeline this and her answers are hilarious. What's your, uh, I asked you similar one the other day. So I'll, I'll go there. Okay. What is your, what's your favorite drink?
01:20:44
Cade Grimm
Oh man.
01:20:51
Cade Grimm
I'm so boring. I drink a lot of water. Like I'm not, I'm not going to say water. I can't say it's my favorite drink. If I'm like really thirsty and want to enjoy something, it's probably going to be half sweet tea, half lemonade and ar a an Arnold Palmer.
01:21:09
Jim Crider
Okay. Is that is that called? Arnold Palmer was a golfer, right?
01:21:14
Cade Grimm
He was, yes.
01:21:15
Jim Crider
Okay. Man, golf just just fully infiltrating all parts of of your life.
01:21:19
Cade Grimm
Yep, 100%. a Golf shirt here, Masters t-shirt or polo. But yeah, i would say an Arnold Palmer.
01:21:29
Cade Grimm
Iced coffee, drink a lot of iced coffee. But I drink it really boring. It's i just coffee and milk. That's it. No fancy flavors or anything.
01:21:35
Jim Crider
Hey, nothing wrong with that.
01:21:37
Cade Grimm
Yeah. yeah
01:21:41
Jim Crider
sleep. Okay. Thanks for hanging out. Thanks for talking about kids and money and the, the life of raising kids. And they're again, like I've obviously my kids are still kids age, but, you know, they're always, they're, they will always be my kids, even when they're adults, or at least always be my children.
01:21:58
Cade Grimm
Yeah.
01:22:01
Jim Crider
so that's, yeah, it was a good conversation. Thanks.
01:22:05
Cade Grimm
I enjoyed it. Thanks, Jim.