Transcript
Speaker: Been a while.
Speaker: We're back.
Speaker: We're back.
Speaker: We're back.
Speaker: I'm coming on his back.
Speaker: I'm coming on his back.
Speaker: I'm coming on his back.
Speaker: That's an interesting way to start it off.
Speaker: Jake just started giving the fucking sloppy 3000, bro.
Speaker: I was saying I'm coming on his back.
Speaker: We both got hella sus at the same exact time.
Speaker: Like, dude's thinking about coming on back, so I'm over here going... Yo, that's crazy, bro.
Speaker: The fact that you're that good at it.
Speaker: Huh?
Speaker: You gotta chill.
Speaker: Freaking, how we doing, bud?
Speaker: Oh, I'm doing.
Speaker: I'm doing.
Speaker: I'm getting by, eh?
Speaker: How about it?
Speaker: We're all getting by at some point, eh?
Speaker: What about you, kid?
Speaker: You're going to fucking talk?
Speaker: Nah, I don't really fuck.
Speaker: I don't fuck with you, so.
Speaker: Yo, bro, I swear every podcast that we do, that we record, your hairline recedes a little bit further back every time, bro.
Speaker: You're probably not wrong.
Speaker: I mean, it's impossible to gain hair from here, so I can only fucking lose it, I guess.
Speaker: Soon enough, bro's going to look like Moe from the Three Stooges, eh?
Speaker: Hey.
Speaker: Wait, I gotta make sure Moe is... Is Moe the one that... No, wait.
Speaker: Moe's got the bowl cut.
Speaker: Is it Larry?
Speaker: I used to look like that back in the day.
Speaker: You had a bowl cut, bro.
Speaker: That's it, bro.
Speaker: Leave me alone.
Speaker: Go play Larry from fucking Fungry.
Speaker: But anyways, we're here.
Speaker: I'm back.
Speaker: You know, things are going all right.
Speaker: This dude, Baker, has been – okay, so just so you guys know, we'll give you a little sneak peek into what we're planning.
Speaker: We've been trying to do a podcast, and obviously we're theming all the podcasts.
Speaker: And the one that we've been trying to do for the last two weeks now was Confessions.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And this dude, Baker, bro, this is what, three – is this three straight weeks now that he's ducking it?
Speaker: Yeah, he's ducking it.
Speaker: Excuses, excuses coming out of left field, right field, center field, center left, center right.
Speaker: God damn, bro.
Speaker: This dude is striking out on the podcast, like recording.
Speaker: Fuck, man.
Speaker: I mean, slacking big time.
Speaker: We told him, too.
Speaker: You don't have to confess.
Speaker: Like, you don't got to, you know, you're not sitting next to fucking Priest John.
Speaker: Like, who is a priest?
Speaker: We know he's got some sus confessions.
Speaker: We told him he doesn't have to tell his worst ones.
Speaker: Like, we already know he sucks meat.
Speaker: We already know all the bad shit about him.
Speaker: I mean, there's some things that he shouldn't say, definitely, that he definitely shouldn't confess.
Speaker: That we definitely know.
Speaker: Hella sus.
Speaker: There's some shit, bro, that he definitely shouldn't say.
Speaker: And I really hope he doesn't.
Speaker: Yeah, but I don't know.
Speaker: He's been ducking it pretty heavy.
Speaker: So for that reason, we're going to kick him off.
Speaker: He's no longer going to be part of the podcast.
Speaker: He hasn't committed well enough in the first couple weeks here that we've been doing it.
Speaker: So he's out of here.
Speaker: Fucking get him out of here, kid.
Speaker: Hey, get out of here.
Speaker: Not really.
Speaker: He ain't out of here, but who fucking knows the next time he shows up to one of these things.
Speaker: Yeah, facts.
Speaker: This week he's out of here.
Speaker: Actually, he's not here this week, so you're getting the classic two-man scramble with me and Eric over here.
Speaker: Oh, sure.
Speaker: I can just like old times.
Speaker: What's new, you know?
Speaker: It's probably better that way.
Speaker: Just a couple dudes being guys, eh?
Speaker: But yeah, so I'm friggin' chillin'.
Speaker: Did the ice fishing.
Speaker: Didn't catch shit.
Speaker: Lost two friggin' bass right at the hole.
Speaker: Yeah, it wasn't my best performance out there, but we had a good time.
Speaker: We had some bees.
Speaker: You got to sink the hook, kid.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: I wanted to set the hook.
Speaker: I know your cheeks are fishing yourself, but I'll let you start cooking you.
Speaker: Facts.
Speaker: I don't ice fish, bro.
Speaker: I think ice fishing is probably the most.
Speaker: Oh, I mean, this goes along with the podcast.
Speaker: I think ice fishing is probably the most boring fucking thing.
Speaker: uh, what's it called?
Speaker: Like, thing that you could do in your free time.
Speaker: Like, I think that.
Speaker: You've never even ice fished before.
Speaker: I have.
Speaker: I've been ice fishing.
Speaker: When?
Speaker: Uh, like, like for wrestling, actually, for wrestling, uh, banquet thing.
Speaker: Dude, cause you were like fucking 300 pounds and you probably fell through.
Speaker: That's probably why you ate it.
Speaker: I created the fucking hole.
Speaker: They're like, we need another one.
Speaker: They didn't even use an auger.
Speaker: Eric just fucking ran and jumped.
Speaker: Yo, Eric, over here, we need another one.
Speaker: That's why he hates ice fishing.
Speaker: Dude fell through the ice every time he took a fucking step.
Speaker: Oh, shit.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: Imagine going through, like, fucking a foot of ice, cannonballing through a foot of ice.
Speaker: Fucking Jackson fell through one of the holes.
Speaker: He fucking stepped in it, and his leg just went right in.
Speaker: It's like,
Speaker: Good thing Justin didn't because that little bit of boy would have fit right through them things.
Speaker: We had a good time though.
Speaker: At least we had some beers.
Speaker: That's the point of ice fishing isn't really to catch fish.
Speaker: You can't really control how much you fish you can catch when you're ice fishing because you can only drill holes and hope something comes to your line.
Speaker: It's not like regular fishing where you're tossing the line anywhere you want.
Speaker: You're tossing your load anywhere you want to go.
Speaker: Over there, over there.
Speaker: On the wall, on the sheets, on the fucking... On the fucking pillowcase.
Speaker: In the fucking yesterday's sock, you know?
Speaker: Right into my mouth.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Yeah, I'm gonna end it here.
Speaker: It's late, I gotta go.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: But yeah, so it was a good time, you know.
Speaker: Kids had a good time.
Speaker: We drank some fucking beers, you know.
Speaker: Had a good time.
Speaker: Got a little bit.
Speaker: But yeah, and then I took the day off because, you know, I was chilling.
Speaker: So fuck it.
Speaker: Take days when I want them.
Speaker: So fuck them, you know.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: How about you, kid?
Speaker: How was your weekend?
Speaker: It was good.
Speaker: I didn't do much.
Speaker: I had a little Super Bowl patty.
Speaker: And it was good.
Speaker: I mean, nothing to talk about, really.
Speaker: True.
Speaker: Super Bowl happened.
Speaker: We put some bets in.
Speaker: None of mine hit.
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: It was close.
Speaker: Major disappointment.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: You want to revisit it at the end?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Talk about it a little bit.
Speaker: We posted them on the story.
Speaker: We had...
Speaker: We talked about bets in last week's podcast, too, that we never posted.
Speaker: Those probably wouldn't have hit either, so.
Speaker: No, I was fucking exhausted, bro.
Speaker: I had nothing on that recording.
Speaker: But, uh.
Speaker: Literally, I was just spitballing stories.
Speaker: Just breathing in the mic.
Speaker: Dude was mouth breathing, dude.
Speaker: He was just fucking.
Speaker: But anyways, we'll get into this week.
Speaker: Enough about last week.
Speaker: Let's get into this week.
Speaker: Don't even want to talk about the Super Bowl.
Speaker: Don't want to address it.
Speaker: Fuck all that.
Speaker: So this week, Eric came up with the idea to do some bold takes.
Speaker: We've probably done a few of these in the past, maybe way back when.
Speaker: But we'll revisit a few of them, I guess.
Speaker: I got some new ones for sure that I've come across.
Speaker: But I'll let Eric kick it off.
Speaker: So first thing, first things first, I'm going to say like a lot of people might agree with this, but I guess it's just a, it's a take that I, I don't know.
Speaker: I guess that's what bold takes are.
Speaker: Some people agree.
Speaker: Some people don't, but I'll say I don't mind my bed not being made every morning.
Speaker: Like I don't mind getting into a bed that isn't made.
Speaker: I just don't.
Speaker: I guess I like jumping into a bed that's made at night, but it's not like, oh shit, my bed's not made, and it doesn't hit a nerve.
Speaker: Well, you probably don't make it.
Speaker: Brittany probably makes it.
Speaker: You're right, because Brittany's still sleeping when I leave, brother.
Speaker: Yeah, so she's making it, so you don't have to worry about it.
Speaker: That's probably why you don't care, but for me, you can kind of see my bed.
Speaker: It's a little wrinkled, but you know, it's made.
Speaker: It's fucking a little wrinkled, bro.
Speaker: Hey, dude.
Speaker: Hey, watch this.
Speaker: I just gotta give a little thug.
Speaker: Come right out.
Speaker: Oh, well, that's thug.
Speaker: Hey, just, just tug there real quick.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: She knows about a little tug, huh?
Speaker: I'm a master of the thug, bro.
Speaker: I mean, don't doubt me, but, um, yeah, no, I disagree.
Speaker: I'm a, I'm a big, uh, bed maker in the morning.
Speaker: Most days.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: It's just like your room's not clean if your bed's not made.
Speaker: That's my opinion.
Speaker: Like, you could have a spotless room, but if the bed's not made, the room's dirty.
Speaker: That's the way I look at it.
Speaker: That's why yours is a bold take.
Speaker: But each is their own, I guess.
Speaker: I don't really tell us.
Speaker: It's coming from a dude that showers like fucking six times a day, bro.
Speaker: I feel like... Here's another quick bold take.
Speaker: If you shower more than like twice a day, bro, there's something wrong with you.
Speaker: Yeah, don't shower more than twice a day.
Speaker: Cap.
Speaker: I showered twice today.
Speaker: Bro, we were FaceTiming while you were in the shower.
Speaker: You don't remember?
Speaker: Bro's just got his cheeks on.
Speaker: Bro's got a suction cup, his phone, right to the top.
Speaker: Yeah, I do remember that.
Speaker: Bro's cheeks is right in the camera.
Speaker: Dude was at work.
Speaker: I remember that.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, I was at work.
Speaker: Dude had his AirPods in.
Speaker: Yeah, no, I shower.
Speaker: I shower twice a day, maybe.
Speaker: I had the AirPods in so I could hear the cheeks clapping.
Speaker: Eric's just sitting there.
Speaker: He's talking to somebody.
Speaker: He's like, hey, get this fucking Ryobi drill.
Speaker: Fucking... I'm fucking...
Speaker: twerking in the fucking shower like when you you know when you like people's headphones are really loud and you can hear it like outside but very faintly they just hear like they're like yo what is that what they think Eric's watching the old hub at work probably is company phone too crazy right on the company phone yep
Speaker: But anyways, no, I shower like once in the morning, every day for sure.
Speaker: I got to get up and shower every morning.
Speaker: I don't know about you, but for me, it's a must.
Speaker: That's one of my bold takes.
Speaker: Some days I'll shower a second time in the afternoon.
Speaker: If I go to the gym, I'll shower, obviously.
Speaker: But some days I'll just randomly want to take a shower because I'm feeling a little musty.
Speaker: You know, I'm a musty guy.
Speaker: I'm a thallian.
Speaker: Eat a lot of food during the day.
Speaker: We get meat sweats and shit, you know.
Speaker: But I'll kick a bold take.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Let me open my notes real quick.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: This one is pretty bold.
Speaker: I'm not going to lie.
Speaker: This might be... This one's hot.
Speaker: This ain't even bold.
Speaker: This one's just right out the oven.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: And it's hot because it's about hot coffee.
Speaker: And Panera, in my opinion, best hot coffee in the game.
Speaker: Best hot coffee, hands down, eh?
Speaker: Fucking best hot coffee east of the Mississippi, eh?
Speaker: Nah, Panera's hot coffee is fire.
Speaker: I don't know if you've ever had it or not.
Speaker: I haven't.
Speaker: I can't say anything.
Speaker: You're not even really a hot coffee drinker anyways, but all right.
Speaker: I mean, I'll drink hot coffee.
Speaker: Why do you sound tight?
Speaker: You're like...
Speaker: Alright, alright.
Speaker: I thought you were going to say you're not a true coffee drinker.
Speaker: And I got really... I got really defensive, bro.
Speaker: I can tell.
Speaker: You were like... Alright.
Speaker: I'm starting to scramble.
Speaker: He said he doesn't drink hot coffee.
Speaker: Alright.
Speaker: I fucking... I was nervous you were going to say I'm not a true coffee drinker.
Speaker: I do drink hot coffee, but... You drink what coffee?
Speaker: Did you just say you drink hot coffee?
Speaker: Hot.
Speaker: Hot.
Speaker: Coffee.
Speaker: Kid.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: This dude just admitted he drinks fucking cock coffee.
Speaker: I don't know what that means, but... Don't make me laugh while I'm drinking something.
Speaker: He's drinking fucking cock coffee, dude.
Speaker: But, you know, each is their own, I guess.
Speaker: But not.
Speaker: Panera, they got this... They got their light
Speaker: They're light mix or whatever the fucking light blend.
Speaker: It's pretty good.
Speaker: Then they got this.
Speaker: I only really get hot coffee in the winter.
Speaker: They got this hazelnut blend, dude.
Speaker: It's.
Speaker: It's.
Speaker: It's fucking fire.
Speaker: It's freaking muy bien, eh?
Speaker: It's just fucking delicious.
Speaker: Speaking of Spanish, today I was at work and there's always guys outside, you know, trying to sell tamales.
Speaker: All it's right.
Speaker: In the home cheapo.
Speaker: Right in the Home Depot parking lot.
Speaker: They wear a construction vest, like a bright yellow vest.
Speaker: And they sell them out of their van, which is fucking wild.
Speaker: And they sit right by the door.
Speaker: And I walk out.
Speaker: And he – bro, they talk so fast, bro.
Speaker: I can't understand it.
Speaker: I wonder if it's them talking fast or the Spanish that you don't understand.
Speaker: It's a good mixture of both.
Speaker: And you make it a translate that next time.
Speaker: I was like, I just looked at him and I was like, no hablo espanol.
Speaker: And he just goes, tamales, tamales.
Speaker: I was like, oh no.
Speaker: Tamales, tamales.
Speaker: I'm like, I'll sit with the tamales, brother.
Speaker: He was like, all right, it's probably...
Speaker: Probably a vendor.
Speaker: They used to have those at our Home Depot here in Somersville.
Speaker: Nope, this ain't a vendor, brother.
Speaker: They just sit right outside the back of their van.
Speaker: You're telling me there's some... A little touchy subject, but... I guess there's some illegal... Illegal shit happening in the Home Depot parking lot immediately in Texas with some tamales.
Speaker: the tamales are the illegal things.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Them being in the parking lot is what's illegal.
Speaker: But, uh, yeah.
Speaker: We'll leave it at that.
Speaker: We don't gotta go into this.
Speaker: Oh, shit.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Hey, you know, well, get a. Bust the hands up.
Speaker: Hey.
Speaker: Who knows, get a.
Speaker: Shit.
Speaker: Good story, I guess.
Speaker: And then that story, Eric ended up buying.
Speaker: Eric sold them out that day.
Speaker: Then proceeded to ruin the Home Depot bathroom about 14 minutes later.
Speaker: They had to go back to Taco Bueno and get some more Taco Bueno.
Speaker: Get some fucking... Who came up with that, bro?
Speaker: Taco good.
Speaker: For those that don't know, Taco Bono is a fucking fast food taco place down here.
Speaker: And nobody... And I mean nobody.
Speaker: I've never seen a single car in that drive-thru.
Speaker: So just imagine how fucking bad those Taco Bonos are.
Speaker: No Bono.
Speaker: Taco Noob Whale.
Speaker: The place is literally Taco Good.
Speaker: That's what it's called.
Speaker: Taco Good.
Speaker: It's like you talk to a fucking three-year-old and they're like, how is it?
Speaker: They're like, Taco Good.
Speaker: That's what it's like.
Speaker: That's who named that place.
Speaker: But yeah.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: I'll come at you.
Speaker: I'll come on you.
Speaker: I mean, fuck.
Speaker: With another bold take.
Speaker: This one's pretty spicy as well.
Speaker: Chick-fil-A overrated overpriced.
Speaker: No cap.
Speaker: That's a bold take.
Speaker: Some people are going to hate that, but I completely fucking agree with you.
Speaker: It's just for me that, and this is coming from somebody who doesn't, uh, I don't delve into Chick-fil-A often because we don't have any around me for, we never have.
Speaker: So, you know, I've only had it, you know, 10, 10 or so times in my life, probably.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: And it just never been that good.
Speaker: I mean, the first couple times, the chicken's fire.
Speaker: But, like, dude, look how small the menu is.
Speaker: They got, like, fucking five things you can get.
Speaker: And it just gets old after a while, you know?
Speaker: I mean, they sell the sauce in the store.
Speaker: That shit's fire.
Speaker: I won't say anything about that.
Speaker: The sauce is gas.
Speaker: That's what makes it good, though.
Speaker: It's never the chicken, dude.
Speaker: Raising Cane's, you said the chicken's good.
Speaker: It is good, but it's the sauce that makes the chicken, you know?
Speaker: Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker: Chipotle's a little overhyped, and I think I'm just not on the hype train that everybody else... Well, that too.
Speaker: Chipotle's also overhyped.
Speaker: I'm going to say Chick-fil-A.
Speaker: Chipotle's overpriced, bro.
Speaker: God damn it.
Speaker: Chipotle's hella overpriced.
Speaker: Oh my god, bro.
Speaker: Like, fuck.
Speaker: I'm trying to feed a whole family.
Speaker: And they be fucking up your order.
Speaker: Every time.
Speaker: I don't know how they fuck up.
Speaker: They're doing it right in front of me, dude.
Speaker: You're doing it in front of me.
Speaker: Don't ever order out from Chipotle.
Speaker: Don't ever order ahead.
Speaker: Nah, don't do it.
Speaker: I've done it a couple times.
Speaker: Never been right.
Speaker: But Chick-fil-A, yeah, dude.
Speaker: It's good.
Speaker: But it's definitely like people give it the praise.
Speaker: That's a fantastic fake.
Speaker: Fantastic take.
Speaker: I completely agree with you.
Speaker: I think Chick-fil-A is a little overrated.
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: You want to know why I think it's overrated?
Speaker: I think five years ago, if you had asked me if it was overrated, I would have said no.
Speaker: But now that there's so many chicken... Well, there's so many chicken places.
Speaker: The chicken sandwich is like the premier sandwich that everyone wants to eat.
Speaker: It's not even the burger anymore.
Speaker: It's not even like just the cheeseburger.
Speaker: That's what it used to be.
Speaker: Now it's the chicken sandwich.
Speaker: It comes in so many forms, too.
Speaker: Like spicy...
Speaker: Like deep fried, grilled, there's so many variations.
Speaker: It's crazy.
Speaker: It's competitive and the big chicken is pretty competitive.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, shit, dude.
Speaker: Fucking down here.
Speaker: You got Raising Cane's, which is a chicken place.
Speaker: You got Chick-fil-A.
Speaker: You got Golden Chick.
Speaker: You have there's another one.
Speaker: There's another fried chicken place.
Speaker: I forget the name of it.
Speaker: But I mean, goddamn, how much fried chicken do you want me to eat?
Speaker: Goddamn it.
Speaker: Yeah, the fucking, the cocks are dropping the gloves on this one.
Speaker: Lots of fights happening out there in the chicken field, dude.
Speaker: Big cock fights.
Speaker: And also, thing with chicken too is there's this, you know, Super Size Me?
Speaker: The documentary from the early 2000s where the guy fucking supersizes every million guys or whatever.
Speaker: There's a McDonald's for 30 days.
Speaker: Yeah, that man saved my life.
Speaker: chubby bastard uh that guy did another one he did a second one supersize me too but it's very different he opens his own chicken restaurant and it's crazy the amount of like unethical shit goes on behind the scenes with those with those restaurants and how they advertise them it's crazy but um so it's not people always think grilled chicken and all that shit is good for you don't believe it um i don't know how i got on this rant
Speaker: Chick-fil-A overrated, overpriced.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Same with Chipotle.
Speaker: I'll hit you with one.
Speaker: So this one, I would much rather clean the toilet than clean the bathroom sink, bro.
Speaker: I feel like I talked about this with you like a week ago.
Speaker: You fucking snatched my take, bro.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Bro, I think that... You snatched my tape.
Speaker: You're right, though.
Speaker: But you snatched my tape.
Speaker: It's crazy.
Speaker: I didn't snatched my tape, bro.
Speaker: Bro, I said this literally like a week ago.
Speaker: The only thing I'm snatching... I might have said it on last week's podcast that we didn't upload.
Speaker: The only thing I'm snatching is that chain, boy.
Speaker: Dude doesn't have a chain on, so I just fucking slapped him in the neck.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Evil QB.
Speaker: But no, seriously.
Speaker: I think that... I mean, think about what you do in the sink.
Speaker: You spit in the sink.
Speaker: I hate the sink.
Speaker: You shave in the sink.
Speaker: It's gross.
Speaker: Kayla got me and Travis a beard bib.
Speaker: I heard about those.
Speaker: We share it.
Speaker: That's nasty.
Speaker: It cleans.
Speaker: It's like a different material.
Speaker: You just like
Speaker: Wash it off, and it just cleans itself.
Speaker: It's pretty simple.
Speaker: You hook it to the mirror, and you're like, one there, and one there.
Speaker: You start saying.
Speaker: I wish there was a video version of this podcast, bro.
Speaker: This dude, Jake, just put his hand, one hand out to the right, one hand out to the left, and he was going ham, if you get me wrong.
Speaker: I was going to fucking pound fucking dickhead.
Speaker: Dude was stacking cups, if you get what I'm saying.
Speaker: One, two, and cup.
Speaker: Efficiency.
Speaker: But you stick it to the mirror, and then you put it around your neck, and you look at your fucking man titties, and you're like, wow, that sucks.
Speaker: But, uh... Wait, you actually stick it to your man titties?
Speaker: Oh,
Speaker: You stick it in the mirror and then you put – you just tie it around with the back of your neck.
Speaker: I thought you were dead serious.
Speaker: You had two suction cups, put them on the mirror, and then you take the other two suction cups and put them on the back of your neck.
Speaker: Works like a fucking job.
Speaker: And it gives you a nice little feeling.
Speaker: A little sensation, eh?
Speaker: And then you take the cup off your mantiddies and you look down and you're like, oh shit.
Speaker: I'm fully erect right now.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: No, but anyways, so you put it around your neck, and then the edge of this thing is cheap, like the plastic fucking cuts your neck, dude.
Speaker: Big, sharp piece of plastic in the back, so you're cutting your neck the whole time.
Speaker: So I said, fuck it, I'm not using this.
Speaker: Sorry, Kayla.
Speaker: It's just, yeah, I might use this shit again.
Speaker: Thanks, but no thanks.
Speaker: Thanks, appreciate it, but nah.
Speaker: But yeah, no.
Speaker: The sink's nasty.
Speaker: The toothpaste.
Speaker: I mean, we don't do that here, but
Speaker: like the dried up toothpaste in the sink.
Speaker: That's gross.
Speaker: I hate the fact that people do that.
Speaker: Just hair.
Speaker: And then, I don't know what it is.
Speaker: Like something about shit seems less dirty than the sink.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker: I don't know what it is.
Speaker: But I just can't do that.
Speaker: I think the sink's nasty, bro.
Speaker: The sink is nasty.
Speaker: I get like a... When you cringe, I'm like, hey.
Speaker: When you like shave in the sink, like before you had the fucking whatever, the web.
Speaker: When you shave in the sink, did you like take the water?
Speaker: Oh, you did the... You did the... Classic.
Speaker: Yeah, dude, we talked about this literally last week, dude.
Speaker: I don't think we did.
Speaker: Yeah, we did, because I remember I was sitting here, I was like, you do the science waft, and you're like, and Millie, and you said you Millie Rock on him.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: You're sitting here, Millie Rock, and yeah, so we literally talked about this last week.
Speaker: But yeah, so yeah, but I agree for sure.
Speaker: It's nasty, just gross.
Speaker: What else?
Speaker: What else do I got?
Speaker: This is best feeling in the world.
Speaker: Morning stretch after a good night's sleep.
Speaker: I don't know if there's anything else I'd rather have.
Speaker: You could name a feeling, and I'm going to say the morning stretch, bro.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I like a morning stretch, but I'll tell you what.
Speaker: I had one on here that said the best feeling in the world was that little tug and twist, man.
Speaker: The tug and twist, fantastic feeling.
Speaker: You know what I mean by the tug and twist?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Do you know what I mean by the day I'm talking to you?
Speaker: Bro's looking for Brittany Newsley.
Speaker: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker: I mean, I assume what you mean.
Speaker: If I know what you're saying, if you think I know what you're saying.
Speaker: Or it's just something completely unrelated.
Speaker: Tug and twist.
Speaker: Like, you know, when you're all conjoly in your friggin' boxes, kid, and you gotta fix yourself, you get what I'm saying?
Speaker: You gotta tug and twist the old sack, eh?
Speaker: Twist your sack, bro?
Speaker: Bro, you know what I mean by the tug and twist, bro.
Speaker: Nah.
Speaker: Like twist?
Speaker: Like let me do it on my stretch here.
Speaker: It's like a tug and twist.
Speaker: That's not a twist.
Speaker: It's the rub.
Speaker: I knew what you were getting at.
Speaker: That's the tug and twist, bro.
Speaker: No, it's not a twist, dude.
Speaker: It's the rub.
Speaker: I'm over here braiding my nutsack.
Speaker: Eric's nuts are playing twister.
Speaker: He's got a little twister board in his fucking box.
Speaker: His nuts are fucking playing twister.
Speaker: But I know what you mean.
Speaker: It's more, I feel like it's been referred to more as the pinch and rub.
Speaker: Okay, old pinch and rub, tug and twist.
Speaker: Same shit, eh?
Speaker: The tug and twist, I was thinking something completely different, bro.
Speaker: What are you thinking?
Speaker: Well, you know, fucking tug and twist.
Speaker: Yeah, the old tug and twist.
Speaker: With the old schmiet.
Speaker: But that's why I was a little confused.
Speaker: I was like, the twist?
Speaker: I was like, yeah.
Speaker: I don't know how pleasant that one is.
Speaker: It was fucking unlimited twist.
Speaker: Fucking keeps rotating.
Speaker: Keep rotating your junk.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: No, I, uh, yeah, we were on two different.
Speaker: If you said the pinch and rub, I would have got what you were saying.
Speaker: Pinch and rub, tug and twist, tug and twist.
Speaker: Um, yeah, sure.
Speaker: But no, the, uh, the morning, morning stretch for me is, uh,
Speaker: is top notch.
Speaker: You know, you just wake up and you're like, ah!
Speaker: It's a good feeling, though.
Speaker: You do like the mandatory, like a little yell alongside of it.
Speaker: I don't know why you do it, but you just say, ah!
Speaker: I don't know what it is, though.
Speaker: Your toes, bro.
Speaker: Your toes are stressed.
Speaker: Oh, the toes is normal.
Speaker: You know what gets me on that?
Speaker: It's the fucking knees, bro.
Speaker: Your knees, like, because you know they're stuck all night in one position.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: You crack them and you're like, ah!
Speaker: The knees, the head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees, and toes.
Speaker: All of it.
Speaker: All of it slaps.
Speaker: Um...
Speaker: It is a great feeling, but for some reason I can only do it on the weekend.
Speaker: Like when I'm comfortable in my own home.
Speaker: Yeah, no, I get that.
Speaker: Because when you go to work, you're like, I got to get up so you can't even like take the time to just... Because there's always the chance and risk that you fall back to sleep if you do it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And you can't be taking that chance on the weekdays, especially after you shut your alarm off.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I get so pissed off in the morning before work.
Speaker: I'm just like... Oh, me too.
Speaker: I'm pissed.
Speaker: I get up and I'm just like...
Speaker: Like, I'm just, like, I regret every life decision I ever made, bro.
Speaker: Let me just hit the lottery.
Speaker: Seriously.
Speaker: Yeah, for real.
Speaker: Nah, working is not it.
Speaker: But some people might say, question my take there on that and say, you know, just a good nut, you know?
Speaker: What?
Speaker: No, the best feeling in the world, you know, the fucking... Is it good nut?
Speaker: The fucking climax of the nut, eh, you know?
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: We got young viewers here, man.
Speaker: You can't be saying shit like that.
Speaker: We got no viewers, bro.
Speaker: Oh, I was supposed to do that this week, bro.
Speaker: We know our peak audience here.
Speaker: We know who they are.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: If you're listening.
Speaker: Hey, Sal, tell me that I'm fucking looking great today.
Speaker: No, seriously, if you got to this point in the podcast,
Speaker: And you're listening and your name's Sal or your name's Noah or your name's KJ.
Speaker: Send me a text and tell me that I look good today.
Speaker: Don't forget Big Andrew Daddy.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Big Andy.
Speaker: Big 4-6.
Speaker: Thanks, 4-6 kid.
Speaker: Come on, 4-6.
Speaker: Let them know.
Speaker: This is how we'll know.
Speaker: This is how we'll know if they're truly listening.
Speaker: They tell us we're listening.
Speaker: I don't like the clarity.
Speaker: You know, the post-luck clarity.
Speaker: It's the after effect.
Speaker: It's all tied in.
Speaker: I don't have that.
Speaker: It's all tied in together.
Speaker: You're just a different breed, I guess.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I feel successful when I not, bro.
Speaker: Bro fucking gets on top of his bed, stands up, starts with the jump like Rocky.
Speaker: I'm making my fucking... My nuts are just hanging.
Speaker: His fucking meat's smacking up against his leg.
Speaker: It's like... I'm hitting my nuts like it's a fucking bag.
Speaker: Oh, yo, we're dumb as shit.
Speaker: Like, what the fuck?
Speaker: Where did we come up with that?
Speaker: How the fuck am I hitting my nuts like that, bro?
Speaker: Like it's a fucking bag.
Speaker: Takes a lot of skill.
Speaker: Fucking trainer sitting there.
Speaker: Come on, you gotta go out like this.
Speaker: Starts playing with your nuts.
Speaker: Smacking my nuts.
Speaker: He's like... Doing a hell of a... He's just slapping the back of my asshole.
Speaker: Oh...
Speaker: Seriously, I wish I had nuts that big, bro.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, I don't got any more bold takes.
Speaker: How are we going to talk about the Super Bowl now?
Speaker: Patrick Mahomes nuts.
Speaker: All right, bro.
Speaker: Seriously, though, let's transition into that.
Speaker: What are your thoughts on the bowl?
Speaker: Just a cold cut transition right into the fucking Super Bowl after that.
Speaker: The Bowl, you know, it is what it is.
Speaker: I was not rooting for the Chiefs, but we all knew there was a good chance they won just because of the Chiefs.
Speaker: Like you said, though, you can't even make an excuse anymore.
Speaker: Yeah, usually there's the flags and the penalties, but there wasn't any of that this year.
Speaker: The 49ers just can't finish.
Speaker: They'll never win at this point the way they get the most talented team in football.
Speaker: hands down roster-wise, and they still couldn't get the job done.
Speaker: It's a pretty lackluster Chiefs team, if you ask me, talent-wise.
Speaker: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker: If you're the 49ers, where do you go from here?
Speaker: Because you literally cannot add to that roster.
Speaker: I don't know where you could add that makes you significantly better, or not even that, but where can you add?
Speaker: where it doesn't cost that much money because they don't have unlimited money.
Speaker: And they're going to be paying Brock Birdies offseason.
Speaker: Well, that's the thing.
Speaker: The only place that you could truly improve that's a significant position is really quarterback.
Speaker: And what are you going to do?
Speaker: They got the receiver talent.
Speaker: They got the tight end.
Speaker: They got the running back.
Speaker: They got the offensive line.
Speaker: You got the defensive line.
Speaker: You got the linebackers.
Speaker: You got the D-back.
Speaker: Maybe you could get another corner.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: There's not a lot of much more you could do.
Speaker: I mean, Brock Purdy didn't even play that bad.
Speaker: That's the thing.
Speaker: Maybe this.
Speaker: Maybe you get a new head coach.
Speaker: Bold take there.
Speaker: Bold take of the day.
Speaker: Kyle Shanee.
Speaker: Get him out of here.
Speaker: Get your ass packed in bags and see you later.
Speaker: Any guy that blows two double-digit leads in a Super Bowl doesn't belong.
Speaker: Yeah, well, that's three if you count the offensive coordinator with the Falcons when he lost 28-3.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: So that's – yeah.
Speaker: So maybe he's got to go.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: The defense played pretty good most of the game.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: And he had –
Speaker: Then you had the offense that was solid.
Speaker: It wasn't Brock Purdy's fault.
Speaker: He played okay.
Speaker: He didn't kill you.
Speaker: It's not the reason they lost.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: But they just couldn't get the ball in the end zone, and it comes down to Shanahan and his play calling, honestly.
Speaker: It's pretty lackluster.
Speaker: Can I read you what I said for this week's for Bink Bets?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I sent this to KJ, but let me just read this to you so you guys know, like –
Speaker: Just like my thoughts.
Speaker: So I said before the game, this is on Saturday I sent this.
Speaker: I said thoughts.
Speaker: I think it will be the classic Super Bowl matchup that the league always loves to put on.
Speaker: Both teams over the last two seasons have produced almost identical stats when you look at winning percentages and adjusting those percentages based on the team's strength of schedule.
Speaker: So what I mean by that is the raw win percentage for the Chiefs was 73.7% this season.
Speaker: The 49ers were 73%.
Speaker: If you look at the chance of winning for the game, the Chiefs had a 58.59% chance and the 49ers had a 41.41%.
Speaker: So, I mean, obviously the chance of winning the game is different than a raw win percentage, but.
Speaker: I said, I believe the game could be very close and a lot less of an offensive battle than some people think it will be.
Speaker: The Chiefs defense has been sneaky good this year, while the 49ers have had a stout defense for the most part, but have been slightly overrated when it comes to their pass rush.
Speaker: So that's where I'm wrong, because their pass rush was pretty elite in that game.
Speaker: I feel like they sacked Mahomes.
Speaker: Yeah, they were good.
Speaker: I said, either way, I think both offenses take a little bit more of a timid approach, rely heavily on their run games.
Speaker: and could very easily come down to which quarterback gets the ball last and how they capitalize on that final draft.
Speaker: I said it's hard to go against the algorithm with its pick in the Chiefs.
Speaker: The Algos also 8-4 in the playoffs this year while picking who's going to win the game, and 174-104 throughout the entire season.
Speaker: Teams received above a 55% chance of winning, which the Chiefs did for this game, in each matchup this year won 64% of the time.
Speaker: I said, I feel confident saying that for any Super Bowl pick, I'll always narrow it down to which team has the better quarterback.
Speaker: If you take a look at the chart below since 2000, in my honest opinion, the better quarterback has won 16 of the last 23 Super Bowls, which is 70% of the time.
Speaker: So I said, you know, final pick, Chiefs plus two and sprinkle Chiefs money line.
Speaker: Hey, how about that, eh?
Speaker: Hey, how about it?
Speaker: How about it?
Speaker: If you want to fucking win money, fucking follow your kid, eh?
Speaker: Because I've faded myself.
Speaker: This dude faded his own algorithm.
Speaker: I did.
Speaker: He's been working on it for like three years.
Speaker: Comes down to it, he's like, nah.
Speaker: Bro, how did I fade myself?
Speaker: Seriously, I took $40, I put $25 on the 49ers money line.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Is what it is, I guess.
Speaker: But, uh, yeah, fucking football's over now.
Speaker: Now we, uh, going to, uh,
Speaker: deep sports depression for a while here.
Speaker: Pat's number three pick.
Speaker: You're the GM of the Patriots.
Speaker: Roger Gale comes on the stage and he goes, with the third pick in the 2024 NFL draft, the New England Patriots select Sarah Fuller kicker.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yo, if that happened, bro, I think I would put a hit.
Speaker: I'm not a fan.
Speaker: I'm not a fan.
Speaker: You stop following the team if that happens.
Speaker: There's actually rumors that she's getting drafted.
Speaker: I don't know if you saw that.
Speaker: That's why I said it.
Speaker: No, there's not.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: For those of you who don't remember, Sarah Fuller is the girl that was like the first kicker in Division I football or whatever it was.
Speaker: A couple years ago.
Speaker: And, you know, gender aside, if you're talented enough, you're talented enough.
Speaker: She's not.
Speaker: So, to be drafted.
Speaker: Barely any kickers get drafted in the first place, bro.
Speaker: Facts.
Speaker: Unless you fucking Chad Ryan somehow gets drafted in the fucking third or fourth round, whatever it was.
Speaker: Fourth round, yeah.
Speaker: That's the exception.
Speaker: The Patriots.
Speaker: We traded up for them.
Speaker: So...
Speaker: That's the exception, but there's rumors that this chick, remember her kickoff, dude?
Speaker: Like her first kickoff?
Speaker: It was a damn squib kick.
Speaker: Yeah, it went like 20 yards right.
Speaker: It didn't even go straight.
Speaker: I think it went out of bounds.
Speaker: It might have gone out of bounds.
Speaker: They should have just put her on for like an onside so they could hide the fact that she couldn't kick.
Speaker: the full length she needed to.
Speaker: And like I said, gender aside, if she was fucking good, then sure.
Speaker: Why not?
Speaker: Yeah, fuck it, dude.
Speaker: But she's just not.
Speaker: She didn't even get a field goal opportunity.
Speaker: She had two extra points, I think, in her time in college.
Speaker: I don't know if she hit them or not.
Speaker: And this was 2020.
Speaker: It was the last time she played.
Speaker: But she's eligible to draft this year, I guess.
Speaker: And there's rumors that she might get drafted later.
Speaker: And if she makes a team, good for her.
Speaker: But I swear if she gets drafted, drafted, no, I can't.
Speaker: I can't stand behind that just based on merit.
Speaker: I can't do that either.
Speaker: Just so you know, too, Wes Welker has kicked an extra point in the NFL.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, I'll page it there at the end.
Speaker: Just so you know.
Speaker: Wes Welker can kick.
Speaker: So, I mean, Justin Reed has kicked field goals before, too.
Speaker: So has Justin Ross.
Speaker: No, but seriously, if you're going to draft a kicker, bro, better be good.
Speaker: He better be a top-level best kicker in college football, and he better not get drafted until at least the sixth round.
Speaker: It better be Matt Reza.
Speaker: Facts.
Speaker: Get him back in the league.
Speaker: Now kicking for the New England Patriots, Trevor Bauer.
Speaker: Kareem Hunt.
Speaker: I was fucking Kareem Hunt still in the league, but fucking Matt Reza is not back in the league.
Speaker: Somebody explain it.
Speaker: That's crazy.
Speaker: It's all fake, bro.
Speaker: Hey, something that's crazy that happened is DeMar Hamlin did not win comeback player of the year, which is crazy because the beginning of the year, he was like minus something ridiculous.
Speaker: Yeah, minus like 500, I think.
Speaker: More than that.
Speaker: I think it was like 820.
Speaker: And the next closest guy was John Mechie because I bet on him, and he was like plus 2,000.
Speaker: That was the next closest guy.
Speaker: And Damar Hamlin didn't win.
Speaker: It was Joe Flacco.
Speaker: Imagine what Joe Flacco would have been, bro.
Speaker: Joe Flacco, hey.
Speaker: The fucking guy.
Speaker: Imagine if you – You probably couldn't have bet him.
Speaker: He couldn't.
Speaker: He wasn't on a team, so he wasn't an option.
Speaker: But that's crazy.
Speaker: So, you know.
Speaker: It worked out the way it should.
Speaker: People were pissed that DeMar Hamlin didn't... They want us to feel bad for him.
Speaker: I am so happy that he's alive.
Speaker: He's alive.
Speaker: He sucks at football.
Speaker: That was sad, bro.
Speaker: I was watching the game.
Speaker: Obviously, it was fucking sad.
Speaker: People cried.
Speaker: I had a little tear come out of my eye.
Speaker: He sucks at football.
Speaker: But the problem... We make two tackles all year?
Speaker: Remember the sympathy fucking play they ran for them in the playoffs against the Chiefs?
Speaker: They needed a first down.
Speaker: What were they doing?
Speaker: You remember the Colts play from six years ago?
Speaker: Against the Pats where they did that little... Whatever the fuck.
Speaker: Yeah, they tried to snap the ball.
Speaker: With one guy blocking?
Speaker: I think that play was more efficient.
Speaker: It was.
Speaker: I don't know what they were.
Speaker: It's literally, that's why I think the league's kind of scripted.
Speaker: You got, you got a, it's like, I don't know if it was fourth down or third down, but it was like third and five, fourth and five.
Speaker: And they, they're going for it.
Speaker: I think it was fourth down.
Speaker: Cause it was like, yeah, it was formation almost.
Speaker: So it was a confirmation on their own, like 30.
Speaker: Like, and they're like, yep, let's, let's direct snap this to the Mar Hamlin.
Speaker: The guy who's never take a running back snap in his entire life.
Speaker: In a playoff game where they're down by like a score.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: We'll catch him by surprise.
Speaker: We'll give it to the guy that fucking died.
Speaker: Dude, I'd be fucking more surprised for him to get that first down than I would be if he dropped fucking dead on the field.
Speaker: And I'm not saying that in a bad way.
Speaker: It's just complete honesty.
Speaker: I was like...
Speaker: Whoever drew that play up deserves to be fired.
Speaker: I'm sorry.
Speaker: That's why the Bills fucking suck, I guess.
Speaker: Listen, the purr was answered once.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Whatever.
Speaker: But hey, fuck it.
Speaker: The fucking Pats won four games.
Speaker: I'll buy it.
Speaker: Go Pats, eh?
Speaker: We're a season for the guys, eh?
Speaker: I think that's all I got for this week, brother.
Speaker: I don't get anything else.
Speaker: You got your words of wisdom?
Speaker: My words of wisdom.
Speaker: Fresh off the hot press.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Off the t-shirt.
Speaker: Keep calm and carry on.
Speaker: Remember that?
Speaker: Yeah, that's beautiful.
Speaker: I love that.
Speaker: Keep calm and carry on.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: Fucking throwback.
Speaker: Big throwback.
Speaker: Big TB.
Speaker: I got one for you.
Speaker: Be brass, be sass.
Speaker: Don't pass gas.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Whatever that means, we'll take it, I guess.
Speaker: I think the first gets with.
Speaker: I'm just going to take it off for this episode.
Speaker: Take it off, eh?
Speaker: Take off my shirt, eh?
Speaker: I'll do that.
Speaker: That's going to end this episode at 9.43 p.m.
Speaker: on a Monday night here, February 12th.
Speaker: Have yourselves a great Valentine's Day.
Speaker: You know, have a good... Treat the ladies nice.
Speaker: Have a good time out there with the ladies, eh?
Speaker: And, you know, forget about it.
Speaker: Peace.
Speaker: Peace.
