Transcript
Speaker: Yo, Jake's Wi-Fi is shit in the bed.
Speaker: Uh-oh.
Speaker: No, it's not, bro.
Speaker: I was waiting for Baker to see something.
Speaker: No, it's still laggy as shit.
Speaker: What's up, brother?
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: What episode are we on?
Speaker: Five?
Speaker: Five or six.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: One of those two.
Speaker: Welcome back.
Speaker: Welcome back.
Speaker: Welcome back.
Speaker: It's been a grip.
Speaker: A grip.
Speaker: A grip.
Speaker: Jake's goal of what, like 30 podcasts in a year?
Speaker: 35.
Speaker: 35.
Speaker: What do you mean, bro?
Speaker: You still got the weeks?
Speaker: You think we're going to hit that, bro, with your schedule?
Speaker: You fucking jimmoak?
Speaker: No, my schedule only goes for like another month.
Speaker: This is number seven.
Speaker: Podcast number seven.
Speaker: Oh, seven?
Speaker: Yeah, we're chilling, bro.
Speaker: On a good pace.
Speaker: Kinda.
Speaker: We had a little hiatus, bro.
Speaker: Fucking life gets busy sometimes.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Your life gets busy.
Speaker: No, it's not even busy.
Speaker: I'm a busy man, brother.
Speaker: No, you're not even busy, bro.
Speaker: What do you mean, bro?
Speaker: Monday through Friday, you're busy.
Speaker: I work like 60-something hours a week, bro.
Speaker: You have two jobs, bro, all right?
Speaker: That's crazy, bro.
Speaker: This dude's doing that.
Speaker: He fucking lives in Texas right now.
Speaker: Like Santa's fucking slay.
Speaker: Oh, brother.
Speaker: Go, Jake, go!
Speaker: It's loud as fuck.
Speaker: Can you please stop?
Speaker: You're hurting my ears.
Speaker: Dude's fucking over there fucking beatboxing.
Speaker: Like Santa's sleigh, baby.
Speaker: No, that's crazy, bro.
Speaker: I know this dude ain't yapping, bro.
Speaker: This dude may move halfway across the fucking country, bro.
Speaker: Dude's sucking meat now, too.
Speaker: But I didn't, I mean, I don't know.
Speaker: It's different, bro.
Speaker: Hey.
Speaker: Just have her move in with you, bro.
Speaker: I give you five available days, brother.
Speaker: Five.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: That's not true.
Speaker: Monday through Friday, bro.
Speaker: I'm available.
Speaker: Yeah, after 8 p.m.
Speaker: No, bro.
Speaker: I was ready at 7 today.
Speaker: We had to wait for Baker, who said he had to wait until 8 because he wanted to play golf.
Speaker: Probably didn't even play golf, bro, because he sucks at it.
Speaker: No, I didn't.
Speaker: Yeah, see?
Speaker: This dude Baker was probably busy watching my fucking Red Sox and Sox in 2 for like the ninth time today.
Speaker: Red Sox played at 11, all right?
Speaker: I was done with Sox in 2 by 2 o'clock, all right?
Speaker: All it.
Speaker: Dude, I actually watched Sox in 2.
Speaker: No, but when we first started the podcast, we agreed.
Speaker: We agreed on Sunday record times.
Speaker: But if we could get it done, we would get it done on Saturday.
Speaker: But you, motherfucker.
Speaker: Hey, bro, we've done six episodes.
Speaker: We've recorded three on like a Monday or Tuesday.
Speaker: No, we have not.
Speaker: Yes, we have.
Speaker: We've recorded three episodes on a Monday or Tuesday.
Speaker: Sorry.
Speaker: Yeah, you're outruled two to one, brother.
Speaker: I can look at the upload times.
Speaker: Yeah, we can go with the upload dates and they'll be able to tell.
Speaker: There's probably one Tuesday upload.
Speaker: But don't count.
Speaker: There might be a Tuesday upload where he, like, it messed up so he had to upload it.
Speaker: Yeah, but it tells you the schedule when you scheduled it.
Speaker: Hey.
Speaker: So look at it then.
Speaker: I will.
Speaker: Not right now.
Speaker: Because I'm sick of your shit, bro.
Speaker: I'm seriously sick of your shit.
Speaker: I'm calling you out.
Speaker: Bro's calling me out.
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: Bro, I'm fucking locked in, alright?
Speaker: I'm fucking here.
Speaker: I'm fucking putting in work, brother.
Speaker: I'm fucking putting in work, bro.
Speaker: And I'm fucking, I'm out here, bro.
Speaker: You can't say, okay, I'll take, I'll take, I'll take, he's a hater, bro.
Speaker: I'll take some of the credit for the Miss Weeks, but,
Speaker: I did say multiple times, bro, that I could do it on a certain day.
Speaker: And you guys are like, no, let's just play Xbox.
Speaker: I'm just not trying to record, bro, on a Monday.
Speaker: Monday, first off, is already the worst day of the week.
Speaker: It's just like no one wants to go to work on a Monday.
Speaker: So you just hate the podcast.
Speaker: Then I have to go to work.
Speaker: I mean, then I have to come home and cook and I have to go to the gym.
Speaker: Bro, I'm fucking tired.
Speaker: So you don't even enjoy it, bro.
Speaker: No, I do enjoy it, but I enjoy it on Sunday when I have literally nothing to do.
Speaker: And when you should have nothing to do, you don't have anything to do.
Speaker: You're just consumed.
Speaker: But now for me, brother, not only that, I want to be able to play golf in the summer.
Speaker: Bro, what time are you playing golf at?
Speaker: Because it gets dark at like 8 p.m.
Speaker: in the summer.
Speaker: Sunday is my only day to play golf.
Speaker: All right, all right.
Speaker: Time out.
Speaker: Time out.
Speaker: What about Sunday night?
Speaker: Let's compromise.
Speaker: There you go.
Speaker: Why can't we do like – I mean 8 o'clock sucks on Sunday night too, but it's better than Monday.
Speaker: I think Monday is better now.
Speaker: I like the Monday recordings.
Speaker: We did way better.
Speaker: That's just not true, bro.
Speaker: It gives you a nice fucking weekend wrap-up.
Speaker: You can talk about the shitty first day of work you had.
Speaker: Jake is just trying to make – Jake is trying to sell the money, bro.
Speaker: We're six minutes in.
Speaker: We're moving on.
Speaker: We're moving on.
Speaker: We'll figure this out off-point.
Speaker: God damn.
Speaker: Come on, I got six more minutes.
Speaker: Come on, Faust.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Six minutes?
Speaker: You can tell Baker's the third man, bro.
Speaker: Baker sounds like Jim Murray right now, bro.
Speaker: And Jim Murray's going to give you a 90-second update?
Speaker: Dude wants to be Jim Murray, bro.
Speaker: He's like, let's do a fucking sports podcast today.
Speaker: Give me all your fucking baseball takes.
Speaker: All your fucking...
Speaker: Look at his face, bro.
Speaker: He's like, who are the socks going to take in the Rule 5?
Speaker: Literally.
Speaker: Dude's probably looking down at their single 18, bro.
Speaker: Jake Spelger, he's always negative.
Speaker: Eric will give you – we're going to mix up the shows here.
Speaker: I'm Joe Murray.
Speaker: I'm Joe Murray.
Speaker: He's a dog.
Speaker: I was going to let you be Beetle, but – Yo, that's crazy.
Speaker: If anything, I'm zoned, bro.
Speaker: That's crazy.
Speaker: That's fucking Baker.
Speaker: He's McBone.
Speaker: Fucking McBone.
Speaker: Tyler Milliken in the corner.
Speaker: Yuck.
Speaker: I got a McBone to pick with Baker, bro.
Speaker: Oh, we got some beef.
Speaker: What's up?
Speaker: I'm beefing with Baker heavy right now, bro.
Speaker: What do you got?
Speaker: This dude Baker, bro.
Speaker: Didn't invite me, bro.
Speaker: He's coming up with shit.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: He's pressed, so he's defending it.
Speaker: No, no, go for it.
Speaker: Where did Nacho not invite you to?
Speaker: Nacho?
Speaker: Nacho?
Speaker: See, now he's fumbling his words, bro.
Speaker: He's stressing right now.
Speaker: This dude didn't invite me golfing, bro.
Speaker: He didn't invite me fucking to a party, bro.
Speaker: What party are we talking about?
Speaker: He's making shit up.
Speaker: Oh, not, bro.
Speaker: He literally went golfing like two weeks ago.
Speaker: Wait, you guys got some beef.
Speaker: The baker's a snake, bro.
Speaker: This dude snuffed me over the weather, bro.
Speaker: Come on.
Speaker: Who are you going to believe?
Speaker: Six years ago, pal.
Speaker: Get over it.
Speaker: Alright, can we get a life update?
Speaker: Because Jake's not married.
Speaker: He's got like fucking three kids.
Speaker: Six kids.
Speaker: I got four kids.
Speaker: I mean, with the amount of food you were cooking yesterday, you would have thought that, bro.
Speaker: I was chefing yesterday.
Speaker: I was cooking up some chicken and steak.
Speaker: Some macaroni salads.
Speaker: Fucking potatoes.
Speaker: That shit's busting.
Speaker: Life update?
Speaker: I want to hear Baker's first.
Speaker: Baker gets to go first for once.
Speaker: Dude, my life update.
Speaker: Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I hate being on the spot like this because my life hasn't changed much.
Speaker: The weather's getting better, so hopefully I'll go golfing soon.
Speaker: But work's been the same.
Speaker: Yeah, nothing's really changed.
Speaker: Do you like work?
Speaker: I do.
Speaker: It's not too bad.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: In two weeks, I get to go on a trip.
Speaker: So that's always fun.
Speaker: That's good.
Speaker: Hopefully you don't come back.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Did you ever tell Jake what I have to present?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: I told Jake.
Speaker: He's got to present the lawnmower.
Speaker: Baker's finest product.
Speaker: That's true.
Speaker: That's all.
Speaker: Go ahead, buddy.
Speaker: That's all you got?
Speaker: Nothing else?
Speaker: I've been actually doing really well with my betting game lately, but we're up about $200 in the last three weeks.
Speaker: Since baseball started, I'm up $200.
Speaker: Are you going to pull it out ever?
Speaker: I really should.
Speaker: I'll tell you real quick.
Speaker: DraftKings were at $151 in my account.
Speaker: And then since I work in Massachusetts, I can use Underdog.
Speaker: And we're up to $202.
Speaker: Started with $20.
Speaker: And Underdog, I don't know what it was for DraftKings.
Speaker: Can you pull out like $100 of it right now at least?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And what's up with the account?
Speaker: Both.
Speaker: Withdrawal.
Speaker: I don't have the PayPal.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: That's the most annoying thing about Underdog is the way that you have to withdraw money.
Speaker: You have to get like a paper check.
Speaker: That sucks.
Speaker: But yeah, I'll withdraw $100 from DraftKings.
Speaker: I haven't been able to talk about this on the podcast, but I now have a partnership with
Speaker: With a winnable bet.
Speaker: Dude, it's been that long.
Speaker: With a dude.
Speaker: I have a partnership with a dude.
Speaker: What, bro?
Speaker: Ever since Eric's like, I haven't been able to talk about this, but, uh,
Speaker: Me and Brittany broke up.
Speaker: I'm dating a dude now.
Speaker: No, but I have a partnership with Winnable Bets.
Speaker: It's a website that allows you to sign up for free if you want and like
Speaker: I hate – like nowadays people are like, oh, I got to sign up.
Speaker: But like the sign up is literally just like put in your phone number and you'll get a text message when I – or you can put in your email, either or.
Speaker: And you'll get a text or email whenever I post picks.
Speaker: I haven't been able – nice.
Speaker: Good job, Baker.
Speaker: Taking out that money.
Speaker: Good job, buddy.
Speaker: Canceling that as soon as the pod's over.
Speaker: But I haven't been able to talk about it.
Speaker: But yeah, it's a cool opportunity for me with my algorithms and stuff.
Speaker: But other than that, dude, got a couple things in the works here, kid.
Speaker: I'm not going to spill the beans on yet, but Jake and Baker now.
Speaker: I'm just not trying to jinx it.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: Not trying to jinx it.
Speaker: Oh, sure, dude.
Speaker: Well,
Speaker: Congrats on your fucking partnership with a dude.
Speaker: With Winnable Betts.
Speaker: He's been working on this algorithm for years.
Speaker: So that's a dub.
Speaker: Now that you're done plugging yourself, that's the only reason he wanted to record for five.
Speaker: All right, guys.
Speaker: I've been itching to get this out.
Speaker: Here's my link.
Speaker: Literally goes letter for letter on the link.
Speaker: Here's my link to my OnlyFans.
Speaker: HTTPS colon dash dash winnable bets slash Eric Pilcher slash bink bets.
Speaker: No, it's literally just winnable.com slash bink.
Speaker: That's all it is.
Speaker: Oh, bink.
Speaker: There you go, folks.
Speaker: There it is for you.
Speaker: Winnable.com.
Speaker: Go subscribe.
Speaker: Go subscribe to his OnlyFans.
Speaker: You've got hella meat pics on there.
Speaker: Oh, what?
Speaker: Dude's trying to expose me?
Speaker: Dude, Baker's a premium subscriber.
Speaker: He sends me all the screenshots.
Speaker: Baker leaked all your shit, bro.
Speaker: Dude's one of those dudes that screenshots the OnlyFans and puts it on Reddit.
Speaker: Speaking of OnlyFans, do you think there's guys out there that make just as much as girls?
Speaker: No, no way.
Speaker: Okay, what if you took like, I don't know,
Speaker: Who's like the best looking guy you know?
Speaker: Probably me, right?
Speaker: So you take me, right?
Speaker: And you like compared his OnlyFans to like just like a heifer.
Speaker: A fucking big hefty woman.
Speaker: Just a heifer.
Speaker: A guy to a hefty woman?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: A best looking guy to the hefty woman?
Speaker: Yeah, but guys got to win, right?
Speaker: I don't even know guys really did OnlyFans, to be honest.
Speaker: There's guys that do it.
Speaker: I think.
Speaker: No, I'm pretty sure, though.
Speaker: I'm pretty sure guys do OnlyFans.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Yeah, bro, I don't know.
Speaker: I don't know if I can talk to you anymore.
Speaker: I'm just saying, bro.
Speaker: I feel like it's a good way to make money.
Speaker: Maybe it is.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Maybe you should give it a shot.
Speaker: Would you let your girlfriend sell her feet pics on OnlyFans?
Speaker: Just feet pics?
Speaker: Feet pics?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Whatever.
Speaker: More power to her, I guess.
Speaker: Bring in that bread.
Speaker: Facts.
Speaker: I'm chill with that.
Speaker: You kidding me?
Speaker: Dudes pay hella bread for feet pics, bro.
Speaker: That's nasty.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't fuck with feet, bro.
Speaker: then you know it's just I feel like it's just gonna go further you know the temptation of making money is there yeah maybe you don't think so oh if I could make if I could make this much money with my feet then all of a sudden a guy is like oh I'll give you a thousand dollars for this you know what I mean some people are stupid money out there like that I'll give you a thousand dollars to peg your boyfriend Baker's like what Baker's like yo let's go come on he's been waiting for this
Speaker: Accept, accept, accept.
Speaker: Baker's like, I'll take it endlessly.
Speaker: He's just sitting there.
Speaker: Fucking stubby ass beard.
Speaker: Hey, don't make fun of the beard mustache, man.
Speaker: Facts.
Speaker: He gets a girlfriend and brings up the confidence with the mustache.
Speaker: No, I always had the mustache.
Speaker: Nah, he wouldn't get shit with that.
Speaker: Mustaches are creepy.
Speaker: Yo, he's going in on you, bro.
Speaker: It's goatee full beer.
Speaker: You have a mustache, man.
Speaker: He's getting pissed.
Speaker: He's like, you wouldn't get...
Speaker: I said he's got a stubby beard.
Speaker: He goes, you know, you fucking, you're fucking lucky, bro.
Speaker: You're lucky you got someone now or else your mustache, no, no way.
Speaker: You're fucking ugly piece of shit, you stupid fat fuck.
Speaker: You wouldn't have got shit with that.
Speaker: That's basically what Baker's saying right now.
Speaker: Does it not make him look old?
Speaker: No, I'd say he's not old, 35.
Speaker: I don't fuck with just a stache, bro.
Speaker: Bro, I think it's one of my best looks, bro.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Goatee was better.
Speaker: Nah, bro, I don't.
Speaker: I don't have the connector, bro.
Speaker: I think no facial hair.
Speaker: No, no, no way, bro.
Speaker: I look fucking weird, bro.
Speaker: Just sideburns.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: Huh, sideburns?
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Bro.
Speaker: No shot.
Speaker: I wish we had video so we could see, like, we could do a vote.
Speaker: Who's got the best facial hair?
Speaker: Jake's mustache, Baker's fat beard, or mine?
Speaker: Fat beard?
Speaker: Bro, you do have a thick... Fat?
Speaker: You have a...
Speaker: You have a thick chubby beard.
Speaker: We should post the poll later on the story.
Speaker: Oh, and take the... My ears!
Speaker: Pops is calm.
Speaker: I'll calm back later.
Speaker: He's always calm.
Speaker: That scared me.
Speaker: Dude, I'm not going to lie.
Speaker: I think people just fuck with the stash.
Speaker: Maybe not like
Speaker: I feel like a stash would win the vote.
Speaker: It might not be the best, but I feel like it would win just because people are like, you know, it's a stash, like a solo stash, nothing else.
Speaker: You guys got nice.
Speaker: All right, just put that up as a poll.
Speaker: Stash, beard, four options, clean cut or goatee.
Speaker: Not makeover doing personalized pictures.
Speaker: Facts.
Speaker: You have to take the best looking.
Speaker: I lose.
Speaker: Best looking picture you can of yourself.
Speaker: Best looking selfie.
Speaker: People are just going to hype up Jake for the stache because they feel bad for him.
Speaker: Bro, some people dig the stache, some people don't.
Speaker: It is what it is.
Speaker: You can't win them all.
Speaker: I like the stache.
Speaker: I think it's my best facial hair look.
Speaker: I can't grow a really nice beard or anything.
Speaker: It is the most full out of the three options.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: I can't do the goatee.
Speaker: I mean, I can do the goatee.
Speaker: It doesn't connect.
Speaker: I'm missing a little hair right here.
Speaker: I think you should grow a unibrow too so that you have one line above your eyes with the fucking hair and then one line.
Speaker: Eric fucking used to have the unibrow back in the day.
Speaker: You're a hater, bro.
Speaker: What did you keep up this too?
Speaker: You guys are getting all defensive about your facial hair.
Speaker: Baker's like, yo, Jake, you ugly bitch.
Speaker: Eric's like, you're a fucking hater.
Speaker: Facts, you are a hater, bro.
Speaker: Let me live.
Speaker: I ain't hating on nobody, bro.
Speaker: I said you guys had nice beards.
Speaker: You guys said the fucking stache looks creepy and fucking weird.
Speaker: I literally said you guys got nice beards.
Speaker: And you're like, nah, Jake, you fucking dusty bastard.
Speaker: What do you think, Baker, what would you rather Jake have, though?
Speaker: His hairline right now the way it is, or would you rather have his mustache?
Speaker: Like if you had to keep one.
Speaker: Yeah, if you had to keep one.
Speaker: Yeah, if you had mine.
Speaker: Would you rather have my hairline or just my mustache?
Speaker: Or just a stache.
Speaker: Oh, shit.
Speaker: Probably the hairline's not that bad.
Speaker: You can work with that.
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: Don't hype him up, bro.
Speaker: The hairline is terrible.
Speaker: It is, but like he can do something with that.
Speaker: Grow the top out a little bit.
Speaker: Yeah, the top's kind of going in right now, bro.
Speaker: I'm chilling.
Speaker: You should go to a barber and ask for a lineup, bro.
Speaker: Have him do it straight across.
Speaker: Yo, that shit would be deep, bro.
Speaker: That shit would be like... That shit would be deep.
Speaker: When you upload your picture, people will see.
Speaker: That would be deep, bro.
Speaker: My forehead would be like this big...
Speaker: Dude, you'd look wild right now if you were bald and the mustache going.
Speaker: Not only could you land a plane on his forehead.
Speaker: This is where it would be, bro.
Speaker: Imagine this hair's not here.
Speaker: You can download the whole Warzone map on his fucking forehead.
Speaker: I didn't even notice.
Speaker: You kind of got a widow's peak going on, too.
Speaker: Oh, I've always had a widow's peak.
Speaker: I didn't know it was that bad.
Speaker: That's just creepy as shit, dude.
Speaker: You're just dogging my fucking hair?
Speaker: Whatever.
Speaker: Just know I got the biggest meat here, and it's only like three inches.
Speaker: We're shitting on you, and nobody else can fucking see what we're talking about.
Speaker: We're great podcasters.
Speaker: We are.
Speaker: If you got something to say, Baker, I can stay with you.
Speaker: I got nothing to say, pal.
Speaker: You're just shitting on our podcast right while we're doing it, dude.
Speaker: It's crazy.
Speaker: Um...
Speaker: Do you guys want to talk baseball now?
Speaker: Because I feel like we got to do it.
Speaker: I don't want to talk anymore, bro.
Speaker: I got beef in Baker.
Speaker: He's been shit-talking you for a couple days now.
Speaker: All right, Steve's got beef or something.
Speaker: I don't know what it is.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: He's got a bone to pick.
Speaker: You got a bone to pick?
Speaker: You got something to say, buddy?
Speaker: No, I'm good.
Speaker: No, I'm good.
Speaker: You want to smile?
Speaker: No, I'm good.
Speaker: Should I antagonize him a little bit?
Speaker: Yeah, piss him off.
Speaker: I mean, we're talking unibrows, bro, but Baker's the one that we're the closest one.
Speaker: That's true.
Speaker: I do let that shit go.
Speaker: Wait, I haven't even noticed, bro.
Speaker: What the fuck?
Speaker: Baker, get nice and close to the camera real quick.
Speaker: It's like not even a finger's gap, bro.
Speaker: No, it's not.
Speaker: At least mine is a gap, bro.
Speaker: Baker, do you have to shave that?
Speaker: Yeah, once in a while.
Speaker: I used to get it waxed, actually.
Speaker: That's when it looked much, much better.
Speaker: Would you guys get a... They call it a Brazilian wax for women.
Speaker: I don't know if it's called the same thing for guys.
Speaker: Would you guys ever get waxed down there, though?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Me neither.
Speaker: You know that's a hole in everything, right?
Speaker: Yeah, that shit would hurt so bad, bro.
Speaker: Imagine getting waxed on your nutsack, bro.
Speaker: Wait, what would be worse?
Speaker: What would be worse, though?
Speaker: The hot, like the heat of it, or like the ripping?
Speaker: The ripping.
Speaker: The heat's not that bad, right?
Speaker: It's not like hot.
Speaker: It's hot.
Speaker: If it was cold, I think it'd be worse.
Speaker: It's like candle wax, bro.
Speaker: It's fucking hot.
Speaker: No, I don't think it would be that bad.
Speaker: I think the ripping would be worse.
Speaker: Think about a band-aid, but like 10 times worse, and then on your nuts, bro.
Speaker: No shot, bro.
Speaker: Baker's already had it done.
Speaker: He can tell you all about it.
Speaker: Yeah, look, he's all happy and jolly like it's already been done to him.
Speaker: I just got it done today, actually.
Speaker: Two hours ago.
Speaker: Can't sit down.
Speaker: Is that the reason why you can't sit down, brother?
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Baker's ass isn't even touching the chair, bro.
Speaker: There's something keeping him up.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: There's something holding them up there.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Well, let's get into baseball talk just because we might as well.
Speaker: All right, Baker, you start off.
Speaker: Tell people what we're going to do, brother.
Speaker: Yeah, Baker, pick the category.
Speaker: You want to do everything or no?
Speaker: Just fucking go, bro.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Who you guys got for NL Comeback Player of the Year?
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Off the dome.
Speaker: Come on.
Speaker: Bro, I don't even know who just came on backs, bro.
Speaker: Like, what?
Speaker: Who's coming back?
Speaker: Who's coming on backs, bro?
Speaker: I'll tell you who's.
Speaker: For NL?
Speaker: Yeah, NL.
Speaker: Luis Severino.
Speaker: All right, not a bad one.
Speaker: I got O'Neal Cruz.
Speaker: Luis Severino?
Speaker: What team is he playing for?
Speaker: The Mets now.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: This is probably the hardest one out of all of them.
Speaker: Who are our options for this?
Speaker: Pretty much anybody that didn't play last year.
Speaker: Also, it doesn't have to be people that didn't play.
Speaker: It could be people that... Or somebody did really bad, yeah.
Speaker: Really bad, yeah.
Speaker: Oh, shit, I just had one and then I lost it.
Speaker: Damn.
Speaker: O'Neal Cruz is a good one.
Speaker: Broke his leg.
Speaker: Is there somewhere I can see favorites on this?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: I don't have odds, I don't think, for comeback.
Speaker: We can move on, Jake.
Speaker: Most come on back.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: What about AL?
Speaker: We'll move it on to AL.
Speaker: So my whole list came before the season started.
Speaker: So, so far, I don't know.
Speaker: But for AL, Comeback Play of the Year, I got Carlos Rodon.
Speaker: Me too.
Speaker: Do I think that's going to happen?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Me either.
Speaker: But I'd like to see it happen.
Speaker: You know, like Angels kind of suck and that's a big contract.
Speaker: Give me Edwin Diaz for the NL.
Speaker: Wait.
Speaker: Rodon?
Speaker: Is Rodon not still on the Yankees, bro?
Speaker: Oh, he is on the Yankees.
Speaker: He's on the Yankees.
Speaker: What the fuck?
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Jake, now you can participate because this stuff could come off the top of your brain.
Speaker: So we'll go NL Rookie of the Year.
Speaker: Everybody should probably, I would have to say, have the same one here.
Speaker: Yamamoto?
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: I got Yamamoto.
Speaker: Yoshinibo Yamamoto.
Speaker: Yamamoto.
Speaker: Yamamoto.
Speaker: Jake, what you think?
Speaker: I don't know about that.
Speaker: Got somebody else from out there.
Speaker: He's a solid pitcher, bro, but I don't know.
Speaker: He's okay, but I can't really think of anybody else.
Speaker: I mean.
Speaker: Shota Imanaga.
Speaker: That's the only other guy.
Speaker: Yeah, Shota's pretty good, man.
Speaker: Shota's pitching better than Yamamoto at this point.
Speaker: I mean, it's kind of like, it's almost like cheating when you have people from Japan because they're older already.
Speaker: What is, Yamamoto's already like 27 or something like that, right?
Speaker: When they're older.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Even August 29, 29.
Speaker: Even August.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm going to go.
Speaker: I'm going to make it a little different.
Speaker: I'm going to switch it up.
Speaker: I'm going to go Jared Jones.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: What pirates?
Speaker: Pirates picture.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: They're advertised.
Speaker: Hey, I got Wyatt Langford.
Speaker: I got Evan Carter.
Speaker: He's still considered a rookie.
Speaker: That's crazy that both of them are on the fucking Rangers.
Speaker: Evan Carter was my thought, but not Jackson Holliday's called up.
Speaker: He could be too.
Speaker: It's all the hype, bro.
Speaker: He's all the hype.
Speaker: Who is?
Speaker: Jackson Holliday?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, he's literally only hype.
Speaker: That motherfucker was like 0 for 7 to start his career, bro.
Speaker: Bro, he's like 20.
Speaker: He's played in four games.
Speaker: Yeah, but... Eric's the kind of dude that judges somebody like literally... No, but I'm just saying.
Speaker: Overrated, bro.
Speaker: He's not going to win rookie of the year.
Speaker: Bro, it's only three weeks into the season.
Speaker: He's not winning.
Speaker: I'm depressed as fuck.
Speaker: I think he only wins off hype, bro.
Speaker: NL Sayon?
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Well, I would have picked Strider, but he's hurt.
Speaker: So now I'm picking Glasnow.
Speaker: He's just got to stay healthy.
Speaker: I got Logan Webb.
Speaker: Freddie Peralta.
Speaker: Yuck.
Speaker: That motherfucker's getting hurt tomorrow, bro.
Speaker: I'm surprised he's not hurt yesterday.
Speaker: He hasn't been hurt in like three years.
Speaker: He's always hurt, bro.
Speaker: He hasn't been hurt in three years, bro.
Speaker: That's not true.
Speaker: I'm not even kidding.
Speaker: All right, AL.
Speaker: AL Sayon.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: I'm going with my boy, George Kirby.
Speaker: All right, I'm sticking with the mayor as well, Luis Castillo.
Speaker: Dude is dog shit.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Dude's got like three terrible starts.
Speaker: I made all these picks are before the season even started, so I was just going to stick with them.
Speaker: I mean, I had Corbin Burns in a bit, but my dark horse was Cole Reagans.
Speaker: Especially with the way that offense is coming around.
Speaker: If they can sustain that, bro, that motherfucker's going to have some wins this year.
Speaker: I got some odd picks on the side.
Speaker: You know who's chucking mice right now?
Speaker: Sleeper?
Speaker: Reed Detmers.
Speaker: Facts, he is.
Speaker: Reed Detmers chucking.
Speaker: You know who else is chucking?
Speaker: Bailey O'Bear.
Speaker: Yeah, Eve's falling off, bro.
Speaker: Cutter Crawford.
Speaker: Yeah, Cutter Crawford.
Speaker: Best pitcher on the Sox.
Speaker: Alright, NL MVP.
Speaker: I got Mookie Lynn Betts.
Speaker: Yeah, it's probably Mookie.
Speaker: He's just playing way better than everybody else.
Speaker: Kumi's been ass.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Man, it's tough to live up to that.
Speaker: Nobody even steps to Mookie, bro.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Not right now, at least.
Speaker: Maybe he'll slow down.
Speaker: He's the best player in baseball, bro.
Speaker: All right, how about this?
Speaker: If Mookie gets hurt, not that I hope he does, but who would you pick?
Speaker: Freddie Freeman.
Speaker: Otani.
Speaker: That's fucking nuts, bro.
Speaker: Three of them on the same team?
Speaker: That's so ridiculous.
Speaker: Bryce Harper.
Speaker: I like that pick.
Speaker: He's been cheeks, bro.
Speaker: Four puppies.
Speaker: Yuck, I hate Tati's.
Speaker: Actually, Sleeper.
Speaker: Jesus.
Speaker: Jake's just naming every big name in the NFL.
Speaker: That's ever been a person in the MLB.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Matt Olson.
Speaker: AL.
Speaker: Matt Olson.
Speaker: What do we got?
Speaker: Ozzy LB Snow.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: AL MVP Juan Soto.
Speaker: He's going to hit all year.
Speaker: I said Juan Soto if he stays in the AL.
Speaker: If he doesn't, if he gets moved at the trade deadline, Bobby Witt Jr. Why do people think he's getting moved at the deadline?
Speaker: I never understood this.
Speaker: Because if they are guaranteed not to pay him, they're going to get rid of him.
Speaker: If they know they're not going to get him, they don't want to re-sign him, they're going to try to get prospects for him.
Speaker: His value is as high as it's ever been.
Speaker: It's going to be even higher.
Speaker: Did they not sign him in free agency last year?
Speaker: No, it was a trade.
Speaker: This is a trade.
Speaker: I thought it was a... I'm going the fish man if he stays healthy.
Speaker: Michael Trout.
Speaker: That's my... He's pretty terrible with Rutgers in scoring position, but still Trout.
Speaker: Jake Pullover.
Speaker: If that's the case, it's the beginning of the year.
Speaker: Big tie.
Speaker: He just fucking went out with fucking loss of blood.
Speaker: Yeah, he just got decapitated by Devers.
Speaker: Alright, those are the awards.
Speaker: Sick, bro.
Speaker: Alright, you guys want to skip divisions, so we'll just go World Series matchup.
Speaker: I got the O's versus the Dodgers with the Dodgers winning.
Speaker: I don't think the Dodgers even make it to the World Series this year, bro.
Speaker: Yeah, they're getting knocked down.
Speaker: I hope they don't, but I think there's a chance.
Speaker: It's going to be a huge upset.
Speaker: Who takes a couple bets for this?
Speaker: Well, I'm going Yankees.
Speaker: Yankees.
Speaker: I didn't even have the Yankees making the playoffs.
Speaker: That's tough.
Speaker: Maybe as a wild card, but.
Speaker: I'm going Yankees-Phillies.
Speaker: Yeah, I had a couple different matchups, but.
Speaker: Who do you have winning there?
Speaker: Phillies.
Speaker: I already put a bet on them.
Speaker: Same.
Speaker: Phillies is winners.
Speaker: I think I put in a. Well, I didn't.
Speaker: Jake did.
Speaker: A separate bet.
Speaker: Had a Padres as a dark horse based on talent alone.
Speaker: I had another bet, but I forget.
Speaker: I'm not seeing it for some reason.
Speaker: Orioles.
Speaker: It was like a long shot.
Speaker: I had a crazy odds, so I put it in Orioles.
Speaker: Phillies or something.
Speaker: Phillies to beat the Orioles in the World Series.
Speaker: Last question.
Speaker: How many wins should the Red Sox get?
Speaker: I'm going to go with 78 wins.
Speaker: Their line's at like 77, bro.
Speaker: That's pretty fucking good.
Speaker: That was off the dome.
Speaker: I'm going to go 84.
Speaker: I was going to say 82.
Speaker: Going over the 80 mark.
Speaker: I'm a little optimistic, but...
Speaker: 82.
Speaker: I think people are... Missing the playoffs?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: No wildcard spot.
Speaker: My biggest hope for the Red Sox this year is that they're playing in games in September to be fighting for a wildcard spot.
Speaker: Or they're playing... Yeah, I guess that would be it.
Speaker: Playing for playing spots for the wildcard spot.
Speaker: Even so, Cora, we talked about this earlier.
Speaker: I think Cora's leaving after this year.
Speaker: Even if they do good, though, he's leaving.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Even if they do well.
Speaker: Because this is his opportunity to be like, look what I did with this team.
Speaker: This shit-ass team.
Speaker: And, like, he's going to leave, and he'll go to, like you said, the Dodgers.
Speaker: He'll go to definitely a contender.
Speaker: I don't think he belongs on a team that's rebuilding or –
Speaker: need just a coach away from just making the playoffs or something.
Speaker: Based on what the Red Sox have promised him, it hasn't happened, so I don't see why he would stay with the Red Sox.
Speaker: Kind of like what the Rangers did with Bruce Bochy.
Speaker: They just needed a coach.
Speaker: But the Red Sox said as long as he's head coach, they'll keep the team competitive, and that just hasn't happened.
Speaker: Well, I think the Sox are one –
Speaker: Might be a hot take, but they're one all-star level bat.
Speaker: And maybe – I'm not even worried about their rotation, pitching rotation.
Speaker: The problem is, bro, is they'll never go – One all-star level bat and one bullpen, like good bullpen arm away from a playoff.
Speaker: They will never ever invest in an all-star level bat.
Speaker: Because they want their all-star level bat to come from within the system, bro.
Speaker: Then you have to sign Tristan Cassis.
Speaker: You can trade for an all-star level bat that is young.
Speaker: That doesn't cost anything right now.
Speaker: Well, I think their main problem is there's zero leadership with the fielding guys, I guess.
Speaker: Rafi doesn't step up.
Speaker: Tristan tries, but he's dog shit in the field.
Speaker: And they have no power righty bat at all.
Speaker: They need a guy like Justin Turner or like JD.
Speaker: Can we get some middle infield?
Speaker: He's not a veteran guy like that.
Speaker: Can we get some defense up the middle, bro?
Speaker: Yeah, true.
Speaker: But...
Speaker: I mean, Rafael is a center, but like... It's injuries, bro, unfortunately.
Speaker: No, but story sucks, bro.
Speaker: He was top percentile defensively to start the year and end last year.
Speaker: I think his team sucks fine, but if he's not out there, it doesn't matter.
Speaker: His defense is good.
Speaker: He was never that good, bro.
Speaker: Coors effect.
Speaker: We need some middle infield.
Speaker: Like, Von Grissom, like him playing second base, cool.
Speaker: Like, maybe he can develop into something nice.
Speaker: But he don't, like, can we get a shortstop?
Speaker: Yeah, I'm tired of, we can't be having scrubs play.
Speaker: You can't have fucking Pablo Reyes going out there playing shortstop.
Speaker: Pablo Reyes and Emmanuel Valdez do not belong on an MLB roster.
Speaker: I'm sorry.
Speaker: And Hamilton.
Speaker: Hamilton is fucking horrible.
Speaker: He fucking sucks.
Speaker: He looks weird, bro.
Speaker: We had Connor Wong playing second base, bro.
Speaker: What are we doing?
Speaker: Hey, he made a play.
Speaker: No, no, no.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: It's not about me.
Speaker: I think it's trying to defend it, bro.
Speaker: No, no, no.
Speaker: He didn't make a play, bro.
Speaker: He had a chance to make a double play.
Speaker: And he was still better than the guys that were out there.
Speaker: No, I still don't think so.
Speaker: They all sucked.
Speaker: I wasn't saying they were good, but he didn't have an error.
Speaker: Like, Jesus, you put Connor Wong at second base.
Speaker: You might as well put me at second base, bro.
Speaker: It's like putting Baker at second base, bro.
Speaker: Hey, fuck off, buddy.
Speaker: That was the only thing I was good at.
Speaker: Baker's natural position.
Speaker: It looks just like him.
Speaker: Facts.
Speaker: Kind of Wong.
Speaker: Wong Dong.
Speaker: Yeah, Wong Dong Silvers.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Well, that's all I got for this week.
Speaker: That was enough baseball talk.
Speaker: Facts.
Speaker: Baker wanted to get his little segment in.
Speaker: Let's tune in to 95 Sports Hub.
Speaker: Look how different Jake is, Baker.
Speaker: Yeah, he's fucking shitting all over it for no reason.
Speaker: He's trying to pretend to be the old guy, like the pops of the show.
Speaker: Huh?
Speaker: Like he's acting older than he really is.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Just being different, bro.
Speaker: He's a changed man.
Speaker: He's had more drinks in the last three weeks than he has in the last five years.
Speaker: I just wasn't...
Speaker: I can't lie, I wasn't interested in talking baseball for 15 to 20 minutes.
Speaker: What do you want to talk, bro?
Speaker: We're not a sports podcast, bro.
Speaker: We just turned this into a sports podcast for 20 minutes.
Speaker: Some people care.
Speaker: What else do you want to talk about?
Speaker: Some people do.
Speaker: I guess Ted's watching.
Speaker: So that's cool.
Speaker: Thanks, Ted, KJ.
Speaker: Ted'll like it.
Speaker: Ted'll shit on our fucking takes, though, because he knows way more about baseball than we do.
Speaker: Little sweaty bastard.
Speaker: Ted could tell you the fucking bench coach in rookie ball.
Speaker: I mean, this guy's nuts.
Speaker: This guy's got nuts, bro.
Speaker: Too nuts.
Speaker: Well, the last one, actually, in the war.
Speaker: Teddy two nuts.
Speaker: Teddy two bags.
Speaker: Teddy two nuts.
Speaker: Sounds like we're saying Teddy tunas.
Speaker: Teddy tickle nuts.
Speaker: Huh?
Speaker: Eric the foot tickler.
Speaker: What the fuck?
Speaker: We were fucking going together, bro.
Speaker: He's like,
Speaker: Jake the meat licker.
Speaker: Fucking Eric's the foot pickler, bro.
Speaker: Remember?
Speaker: Because of the ball bobbler.
Speaker: The ball bobbler.
Speaker: The ball slurper.
Speaker: Bro, it's supposed to be a B word.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Well, I mean.
Speaker: I'm cool, bro.
Speaker: Where's the wisdom?
Speaker: You don't have to rush it.
Speaker: Thanks, Baker.
Speaker: Say something.
Speaker: Let them know.
Speaker: Why do I always got to go first, man?
Speaker: I don't got nothing.
Speaker: Eric, you're up, buddy.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Um.
Speaker: If you got nothing, fake it.
Speaker: If you got something, make it.
Speaker: That was pretty good.
Speaker: I'm not going to lie.
Speaker: That was right off the dome.
Speaker: Bro, I don't got anything.
Speaker: Bro, these are so embarrassing.
Speaker: Yo, Baker, what did you say?
Speaker: Kick rocks?
Speaker: No, you can't say it, bro.
Speaker: We're not letting you do it this week.
Speaker: Eat sand.
Speaker: Eat sand.
Speaker: It's pound sand.
Speaker: It's pound sand.
Speaker: You take it in sand.
Speaker: Big as a nom nom nom.
Speaker: Ah.
Speaker: Hey, I got one here, you know.
Speaker: The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows.
Speaker: It's a very mean and nasty place.
Speaker: It'll beat you to your knees and keep you there if you let it.
Speaker: Ain't you, me, and nobody gonna hit as hard as life.
Speaker: But it ain't about how hard you can hit.
Speaker: It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.
Speaker: How much you can take.
Speaker: And keep moving forward.
Speaker: That's how winning is done.
Speaker: Now, if you know what you're worth, go out and get what you're worth.
Speaker: But you can't be pointing fingers saying you ain't where you want to be because of him or her or anybody.
Speaker: Cowards do that and that ain't you.
Speaker: You're better than that.
Speaker: Fire speech, bro.
Speaker: Right off the dome?
Speaker: Are we serious?
Speaker: Fucking Rocky Balboa?
Speaker: Fucking Italian.
Speaker: And end it with a little shabang.
Speaker: A little ball sack right to the face.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: I forgot to do this for Baker's segment.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: George!
Speaker: This dude Baker's funny.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: What else you got on that thing?
Speaker: This.
Speaker: Alright, Eric.
Speaker: Hit us with a sad story.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: When I was five, I was taken to the woods, not knowing where I was going.
Speaker: And I was sleeping in a tent and the tent slowly zipped open.
Speaker: And what did I see?
Speaker: Some big fucking meat in my foot.
Speaker: Josh!
Speaker: What the fuck just happened, bro?
Speaker: Alright, yo.
Speaker: End it.
Speaker: Alright.
Speaker: I'm ending it.
Speaker: Peace out, Girl Scouts.
