Transcript
Speaker: I'm Lydia. I'm Ed. We're friends with a playlist for everything. And it turns out, we both have one called survival songs. And he got us thinking, what are other people's survival songs? So we thought we'd find out.
Speaker: Welcome to Survival Songs. A podcast where each episode our guest tells us about a song that gets them through the best and worst of times. Sensitive topics might be discussed. So look after yourself. The show contains portions of copyrighted material. We'd love for you to support and celebrate the artists by streaming, downloading and buying their brilliant music. And go give our guests a follow on social media.
Speaker: Help us grow the community of survival song listeners by joining us over on Substack and add to our public playlist on Spotify. Links are in the show notes. We hope you enjoy the show.
Speaker: Welcome back to Survival Songs, I'm Ed. Earlier this week I had a chat with the lovely Rich Hooksley. Rich is a really old friend of mine. Him and his wife were the people when we were in our 20s we'd go round to their house at 7 o 'clock and then roll back at half past 5 in the morning after putting the wheel to rights and watching stupid YouTube videos. Over the years Rich has introduced me to loads of beautiful music including the frames whose lead singer is Glen Hansard who featured on our first ever episode.
Speaker: If you don't know Rich's work, he's a guitarist, producer, songwriter, workshop leader, and all -round multi -talented guy. But most people know him as the guitarist with the big hair from Hope and Social. And if you haven't seen Hope and Social play, they are honestly one of the best live bands you'll ever witness. We'll talk to Rich in a minute. But before we do, let's hear a little bit of his survival song. This is If I'm Dead by Dan Mangan.
Speaker: That was If I'm Dead by Dan Mangan, the choice of today's guest, Mr. Rich Huxley. How are you, Rich? Yes, I'm good. Thank you. Excellent. Prepared to delve into the depths of existential dread. Yeah, good. um This is the place to do it. um Firstly, that is... What a just beautiful record, right? like Yeah. It's insane. Yeah, I'm a massive fan of ah Dan Mangan.
Speaker: um I did a show with him. God, it must be like 10, 15 years ago now. And yeah, he was amazing actor. It was the Duchess in York. um And yeah, they finished and I was just like, take all my money. I'll buy all your things, please. And yeah, I've remained a massive fan ever since. What a beautiful thing.
Speaker: is And specifically this song, when did you first hear it? When did it arrive in your life? what And what like what did it stir anything immediately in you? you know hey I have a ah possibly an unusual ah way that I arrive at songs. Like I i i hear the song before I hear the lyrics, if you know what I mean. So it was the second of the Dan malgan Mangan albums that I fell in love with. So, yeah, the first one is ah has a very different vibe. And then this one has a, like, it's a little bit more alt country. And although this has elements of that to it, ah I feel like it's where he started to explore other things. So I was kind of sonically interested in it first.
Speaker: and then and it started to mean much more to me ah after my mum's mum died and then the fact that it is very much about death then the lyrics started to get me ah and the beauty of... ah yeah I feel it's about celebrating someone's life and also maybe it's about like the send off that you maybe hoped you'd get yourself I think it's you know a bit of both of those things so it was that point really that I started to really yeah cry my eyes out to it every time I listened to it so obviously at that point it becomes sort of changes so from like just being a fan of the music and enjoying it to kind of having a functionality is that right is that fair to say like it sort of helps you
Speaker: Like you're obviously sort of dealing with but stuff and it's helping you deal with that stuff. Yeah, I think I've I think I've always treated songs as a way of helping, a not articulate, unless it's, you know, songs I'm writing, but um a way of like a conduit for emotions you have. So ah like, you know, you and me song, it was always you and me always, i'm for you know, like that's a way of accessing joy with that.
Speaker: And ah this one was a way of yeah we're processing death. and ah ah turns out know I sent you a bunch of options for this. It turns out I like songs that help you process death. Such a chirpy chap. i Well, please it's because yeah you are i and it's interesting one of the things you said to me on the voice No, you were sort of talking you and you sort of left the messages going on going I've been thinking about this and like this stuff like helps me like tap into sadness and I suddenly made loads of sense to me because me mean you're fairly sort of similar with both quite but bubbly upbeat personalities and people know is for that and then kind of a lot of energy and very sort of less helpful and I think
Speaker: And I think it's the first time someone's ever really articulated that for me. but it's gone Because I do love songs that tap into that sadness. And I think it's because maybe I don't have that tap on all the time. yeah and and so And sometimes I need to be like i needs access that because I do need to process love that isn't happy.
Speaker: yeah Yeah, and I think as ah like a self -identified extrovert, when I'm with humans, I'm in the majority receiving energy. you know like I get energy from that. So it's not often... like you know um I don't consider myself someone who'd go to a party and cry their eyes out, you know, like, I'm not going to be doing that. I'm going to be trying to engage and ah having fun. I'm possibly ignoring the friends that I have that I've had for years because there are new people to ah show off in front of. yeah So ah having access to and a bunch of stuff that can help you process
Speaker: ah The beauty of life and ah and they're therefore the kind of opposite of that, the sadness when it's it's not there, I mean all the songs that I sent to you and were all about that kind of thing. I had a song that I used, it was part of an album and by a Belgian band called Deus, and when I'd messed up in my ah in my life quite dramatically, like that was,
Speaker: one of the albums that I'd play on the way to counselling and what I needed to do at that point I felt in my life was have that time to um ah to be able to focus on this stuff that I'd done wrong and really go for that ah so You know, I don't think I'm usually the kind of person that kind of and like stews in those things. So music's a good a useful outlet for that for me to be able to just tap into it really quickly and have a have a wallow. and And then, yeah, I think that helps me process and get through that stuff so that I can get through to the other side of it where I've where i've dealt with it.
Speaker: you know, it brings brings you into grief and it helps you process grief. And when, particularly this song, because, you know, obviously the you were talking about quite a specific time when you were kind of like listening to this track, like when are you reaching for it now and what what kind of, what makes it a survive song now? What's the thing? You're like, yeah, I still need this.
Speaker: and I'm not sure that stuff goes away fully, does it? I don't think. I ah put it on me because now because it's beautiful and i want to you know you you want to feel emotions as a human, hopefully, and not just shut them out.
Speaker: so I'm not I'm not shy of ah of putting it on and listen, you know, it'll make me it will make me cry probably one time in four like there is beauty in but in emotion and hopefully there's beauty in death because if we're able to see how someone should be celebrated and how somebody should be remembered then ah then hopefully that can spur you to Appreciate the living while they're with us Yeah, yeah, that's a really good point ah Me and Lydia, we always ask this question, which is like, is there a bit in the song? Is there like a moment which is like, oh that's my bit or the bit you kind of wait for because it's sort of like emotionally or even musically, just that kind of, for you, the sort of like, I always think that's just a bit in the song that you go, yeah, yeah, that.
Speaker: Yeah, I think there's a number in this. ah Like, I'm fully sold from the first note. Yeah. yeah But the and the verse where it's, burn my remains, burn my stuff the same. ah Bury my name. It's yours now anyway. Burn my remains.
Speaker: My stuff.
Speaker: Ooh, I've gone. And the ah that thing about, I mean, you know, we're both parents and ah you pass your name on. So that, oh my God, that, yeah, that gets me, even talking about it, it gets me. and So that bit is absolutely ruinous for me, the idea of, her ah like for me, it was, like I say, it was around the time of my grandma's death. And I think,
Speaker: um I and I've no qualms with this this is not a diss to my mum in any way but I felt like in the rule up to that because we knew it was going to happen I needed to be as you know as strong a human as I could be for my mum and then after the fact was when I had my little putty breakdowns and um So, yeah, that bit of ah it being linked to someone who's gone before and then that being passed on to, you know, someone else is now the oldest. We will become the oldest. We will pass that on to our kids.
Speaker: And here's hoping they remember us as fondly, you know, and and that we've done a decent job. So, um yeah, that celebration of of um of life. Yeah. So in relation to the song and to and so of the conversation we're having, what does survival mean to you?
Speaker: So why it's a big one, nice isn't it? I think thinking of survival songs and obviously it being the name of your podcast, you know, ah like the things I'd stick on that list would be all the songs I sent you about death. yeah But also, like it's not just about getting through the day to day, is it? Like things that give you strength.
Speaker: and um things that you can draw on that allow you to ah get to a state where you're okay. ah Because, as I think I've heard a number of guests say, you know, the it's okay to not be okay thing.
Speaker: um ah So survival for me is ah being able to get through those things and ah move to a point where you can where you can live in the moment, where you can be happy with the things that are happening around you and not consumed with other things.
Speaker: and And does this song help you do that? Do you reckon it does? Surprisingly. Yeah. I think I have to go through the stuff and I have to put myself through the stuff to get through the other side. I don't know whether that's true or whether that's just self -absorption really. Maybe I don't need to. Let's just get on with it.
Speaker: and brush all the stuff under the carpet. Yeah, that that's probably for the best. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what they say, isn't it? Ball it up. What's the worst thing that can happen? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I think songs like this...
Speaker: help me um yeah help me and help me go through it, help me grieve, help me um get through that stuff. and Unless I put myself through it, I don't want to bottle it up and it turn into an ulcer. Rich, thanks so much for taking the time out to talk to us. um Where can people find out about you and what you do and all the other the things you're involved with?
Speaker: Oh, crikey. and Well, I'm in a band called Hope and Social. and We've just been on tour ah and put a new record out. ah As my eldest said, she went to school and she Googled me and turned up. So yeah, if you Google Rich Huxley, that's me. Brilliant. Rich, thanks so much. Take care. Love you. Love you.
Speaker: We really hope you enjoyed the episode. If you want to support the podcast further you can choose to upgrade your subscription on Substack, but most of all we just love it if you told your friends about what we're up to. Thanks for listening.
