Transcript
Chris: Welcome back to another episode of Mythic Giraffe Podcast. I'm Chris.
canadiantimetraveler: And I'm Ron and still confused.
Chris: I don't know. i didn't hear it either. Listeners, if you hear that, let us know.
canadiantimetraveler: It
canadiantimetraveler: was just silence. I'm watching the thing go up.
Chris: ah yeah yeah i click it and I'm like, what what what are you doing?
canadiantimetraveler: By the way, we've been doing this for like 15 plus years.
Chris: hu
Chris: Ever? Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: We're professionals at this point.
Chris: Yeah. Hmm. Yeah, this is our 135th episode of the second season.
canadiantimetraveler: Shoo.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Boy.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: We're old men at this time.
Chris: It's funny. 135. 35. close to the goddamn temperature this morning. There was frost on my deck.
canadiantimetraveler: Better than frost on your...
Chris: Dick. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: up now
Chris: Yeah. It's March twenty ninth though.
canadiantimetraveler: It is March 29th, and it was 78 degrees of the other day when I went on my bike ride.
Chris: uh
Chris: yeah yeah yeah that's like uh was it saturday yeah yesterday where you know you look outside and it's sunny yeah my daughter god lover she's like in the uv well the uv says it's seven so it's got to be warm i said well that's not how that works but
canadiantimetraveler: What is with the assumption the obsession with kids and UV now?
Chris: I don't know. But yeah, I was like, a second. How do you know the UV? She's like, I check that every day.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, the utes at work are always like, oh, the UV is good today.
Chris: What?
canadiantimetraveler: I'm like, what what are you talking about? i look out and I say, sunny? Not sunny. That's the end of my UV operations.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Weird.
Chris: yeah but i was she was like yeah well it'll be warm i could probably you know get some sun today i was like well it's gonna be you know 52 or whatever she deadpan well that's bullshit i said it is it most certainly is and also it was windy as hell god
canadiantimetraveler: yeah yeah yeah it was windy and uh yeah we because you know saturdays we checked the boat and we had the truck sergeant so you know we have to like here's how a spoon works here's how work work you know let me put that cork on the fork so you don't you know stab yourself in the eye you know but you know we worked through it and he's like well saturday
Chris: I'm surprised he let me use a fork. I mean, usually it's a spoon that they're allowed to use.
canadiantimetraveler: Well, you got a cap, a safety spoon. They're safety fork, but they don't hurt themselves.
Chris: Yeah. Okay. Hmm.
canadiantimetraveler: But, you know, he's like, what Saturday? Are we taking the boat down the river? I said, it's 34 degrees and windy. I'm not taking the boat on the water. on the water I'll take that right up. I will sit in the chief's office and say, chief, I didn't take the boat out.
canadiantimetraveler: It was 34 degrees.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: It's not happening.
Chris: It's just idiots.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, well, you know, he rides a truck.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: You gotta like...
Chris: which i i i i like his enthusiasm, but you also have to temper that with realistic expectations.
canadiantimetraveler: look. I love this man. it's I've worked with him for a long time. He's a good friend of mine. I made a comment about his boots and he's like, yeah, I'm wearing these, what are those? What are they? Rough, tough, whatever the hell those things are that they'll wear down there.
canadiantimetraveler: The little waterproof galoshes.
Chris: Oh, the... Oh, God, we're not tough tough enough, but tough...
canadiantimetraveler: Whatever the hell they wear.
Chris: ah Yeah, those... Extra tough.
canadiantimetraveler: Extra tux. And I'm like, those look stupid.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: He's like, yeah, they're not very comfortable either. I'm like,
canadiantimetraveler: What are you doing? He's like, sit around the concrete in the firehouse. It really makes my heat my feet hurt. I'm like, but why why wear them to work?
Chris: Why do you have them?
canadiantimetraveler: You can wear anything else in the world.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: He's like, well, I don't want to wear a heydude.
Chris: What?
canadiantimetraveler: I'm like, I would rather you wear heydudes around the station be comfortable at least a little bit instead of hurting your feet wearing galoshes.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah, because the guys that make fun of you know Crocs, I got news for you.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. There's a waterproof.
Chris: Those extra tufts, those are just wraparound Crocs.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. there're They're literally galoshes. Like when we were kids, if you saw a kid wearing galoshes, you would make fun of that kid.
Chris: Yes.
canadiantimetraveler: And now these kids are like, oh, look at me.
Chris: Yes. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: You're wearing...
Chris: Yeah, like they'll wear them with shorts and stuff.
canadiantimetraveler: a
Chris: I'm like, if we did that, we would be shoved in a locker, be beaten within an inch of our life.
canadiantimetraveler: Well, like, I remember when I was a kid, I had chucks.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: And, like, kids, I went to Catholic school, and kids made fun of chucks because they were poor people's shoes. Right? Like, now I wear chucks all the time, but chucks were poor people's shoes in the back in the day, and they get me funny for that shit.
Chris: Wow. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Now they're everywhere.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Damn kids.
canadiantimetraveler: Breaking.
Chris: Yeah, that's it. I went, was it last week? Week before. week before don't know. Sometime recently. And my wife was like, come on. We're both getting new tennis shoes. Because we haven't in a, you know, it's been over eight months. We need shoes.
Chris: Okay.
canadiantimetraveler: Sure.
Chris: And she was like, are you going to get the same style? was like, nah, because I had hokas. And I just didn't like the way they felt. They felt too squishy on my feet. and Just, yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: I've never, i feel the same way, man. I'm on board.
Chris: So I went back to Brooks. But, yeah. I don't know. Maybe I'm, I don't have sensation in my feet like other people do, but this one, the gentleman comes out and he's like, oh yeah, you know, what size? i was like, I don't know, like nine, nine and a half.
Chris: Well, can I measure your foot to be sure? You do you, man. Cause if you're working at a shoe store, you've probably got some weird fetish, have at it. So he measures my feet and he's like, you know, your left foot is, you know, what do you say? the A quarter inch or something shorter than the right. i was like, yeah. He's like, but that's to be expected. you're right handed. I'm like, I don't care. Give me something to put on my feet.
Chris: So he brings out a couple of, well, this is this. I was like, sir, you've seen my feet. What, what do my feet want? So he gives me this pair of shoes. He's like, well, i want you to wear this one on the left one and this one on the right one. and feel the difference.
Chris: I stand up and he goes, now, how do they feel? was like, they feel like shoes. And he's like, well, do they feel different? I said, no, they don't. And he just goes, hmm, well, maybe we should switch them around. i was like, or just give me two of the same damn shoe and let me walk around.
Chris: And then my wife was like, you know, I'll just walk around, you know? And so i walk around a little bit. How do they feel? i was like, they feel like shoes. I don't know what to tell you. And then she was like, well, maybe you should run in them. i was like, I don't run. said, if someone's chasing me, I'll run. She said, well, i bet he'll chase you. The shoe maniac goes for the right amount of money. I will.
Chris: i was like, wrap them up. I'm out.
canadiantimetraveler: I would have been like, we're done. I'm out out of this.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: kind of what What do you mean?
Chris: Yeah. Yes. ha
canadiantimetraveler: Your wife is sometimes a maniac.
Chris: ah
canadiantimetraveler: think she does it to torture you just a little bit.
Chris: Yes. Oh, I'm sure she does. She probably has a journal and writes this shit down.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: God. Yeah. But yeah, the the kid was here. So like for right amount of money.
canadiantimetraveler: I don't... I couldn't tell you the last time I went to A, hey go to a shoe store, and B, like, get measured.
canadiantimetraveler: Like, I just go into a store, but like, I would like that pair of shoes. And they give me that pair of shoes. I tried them on that. That one didn't fit. Give me different pair of shoes. that's That's how iWorld works. I don't look at them as some sort of sensei expert. that They're like looking at my feet, analyzing, going, oh, your foot would go well with this shoe.
Chris: Yeah, yeah, I, yeah. Yeah, what else? He was like, well, we, you know oh, I see we have an arch. Yes.
canadiantimetraveler: Aren't we all?
Chris: I guess, I mean, flat-footed people don't, I guess, but yeah, just, yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: they still do is
Chris: i Yeah. Between that, I went to the dentist the other day. oh my God.
canadiantimetraveler: My continuing experience with Dennis is driving me insane.
Chris: so yeah. yeah yeah you you don't have your crown yet do you oh gosh yeah
canadiantimetraveler: I haven't even gotten to step two. i went Step one was, oh, hopefully I get a temporary crown. He says, no, we're not doing that. You got to go get a root canal first.
canadiantimetraveler: Haven't gotten a root canal because A, can't get anybody to call me back. B, nobody takes their damn insurance. It's a nightmare. I have also had a lot of crap going on, but, you know, still.
Chris: you should have gone to the mission of mercy
canadiantimetraveler: It's just. Yeah, yeah.
Chris: Waited in line for 12 hours with homeless people to get your teeth looked at.
canadiantimetraveler: I'm afraid. Can you do a root canal real quick? Sorry, that's not what we're doing here. oh Just go ahead. Pull it out.
Chris: They might. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: They might. Who knows? Yeah. It's just... Dentists are a nightmare.
Chris: Yeah. Well, that's like, so I hadn't been to the dentist in a while. It's been over a year, I think. Again, my wife, you really need to do this. You really need to. I was like, OK, I'll go. I'll make my point. Remember, know, the city will give you an extra eight hours if you get your teeth cleaned and your eyes examined. I was like, I don't need more time, but whatever.
canadiantimetraveler: Another eight hours I can't spend.
Chris: Yeah. So was like, whatever. So I called the dentist last week thinking this will be like a May. I can't get in. Oh, we got an opening tomorrow morning. i was like, I can't do that.
Chris: Oh, well, how about next, you know, Wednesday at eight? I'm like looking at my counter. was like, okay, fine. All right, we'll put you down. I'm like, great. so i show up sit there and they're like oh no come right back i'm like okay and ah get in the chair and it's this new girl she's like oh i take x-rays was like of course you do so you take the x-rays and all of a sudden it's the dentist not my hygienist my dentist comes in and he's a maniac and he goes oh yeah so and so you're a normal hygienist which i can't remember her name yeah she's off on maternity leave so i'm just gonna do everything
canadiantimetraveler: Oh.
Chris: aa Yeah. And again, digging into my face. So watch a good shows lately.
Chris: Really?
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, yeah.
Chris: Really?
canadiantimetraveler: My dentist...
Chris: Or he would ask a question and then like dive into my face.
canadiantimetraveler: but My dentist is obsessed with our retirement.
Chris: God.
canadiantimetraveler: He is obsessed with it. Every time I go, he asks about retirement.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Well, how does it work? How do you know? And I'm like, we've had this conversation since I wasn't even thinking about retirement, really.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: All the time, he's obsessed with it. He's like, oh, that sounds great.
Chris: This guy always asked me about my work boots.
canadiantimetraveler: Oh, weird.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Do you wear your work boots into the dental appointments?
Chris: Well, it's because I, I took an hour of comp time and went to the dentist. So I, yeah, I was in uniform when I go in there. Oh, you're looking very professional today. Well, I'm at fucking work doc.
Chris: God mighty. Yeah.
Chris: Yeah, the one time like my phone went off or something is like, is that a call? Do you need to go? i'm like, yes. Yep. Yep. With the floss hanging out of my mouth.
canadiantimetraveler: on fire.
Chris: Here I go.
canadiantimetraveler: City's on fire. I got to go.
Chris: God.
canadiantimetraveler: take your Take your fist and your other fist and somehow your third fist out of my mouth, please.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Frustrating.
Chris: Yeah. I just. Yeah. And you know how they're always like, oh yeah, you need to go every six months.
Chris: yeah This is the dentist, not the hygienist, the dentist, you know, the but top of the top. He goes, huh? You never tell that you hadn't been here in over a year.
canadiantimetraveler: Oh, that's nice.
Chris: So why am I here?
Chris: Why am I here, doc? If it's.
canadiantimetraveler: Christopher, you're going to have maintenance on your body.
Chris: ah Yeah, yeah, yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: You wouldn't skip your physical, would you? Until then.
Chris: Oh, no. But again, I know we've talked about this before, but have you thought about the night guard?
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, they're all about the night guards.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: My Dennis has been pushing his night guard thing. He's like, well, it'll help with snoring. I don't snore. Well, it'll help you grind your teeth. I also don't grind my teeth. Everybody grinds their teeth a little bit. It's a stress reaction. I am the chillest person you've ever met, Doc. I don't have, I don't do that.
canadiantimetraveler: I sleep like a maniac. Face down, drool coming out.
Chris: yeah
canadiantimetraveler: You know how serial killers sleep after they've killed someone? That's me.
Chris: yeah i just i don't yeah he was like well i mean really like to you get one of the ones that we have i was like yeah of course you do because you get a kickback off it and all kinds of bullshit he's like but even if you ordered one off of amazon you know there's a really good one dentech Like, Dentech, huh? Oh, look that up.
Chris: Whatever. It's like, we're just going to play, we're going to have the same dance in six months, Doc.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: So, got that night guard? No? Really wish you would. Hmm.
canadiantimetraveler: his His excuse to me every time, because I've now had two crowns, he's like, well, it's because you're grinding your teeth. I said, it's weird that the places I have crowns are where you did fillings that I didn't think I need fillings.
Chris: ah Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Weird that.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Son of a bitch.
Chris: Yeah. It's like, I've got a filling in one of my molars. And he was like, yeah, the filling, you can tell it's a little old. It's starting to get a little discolored, but there's nothing wrong with it. I mean, I could touch it up for you if you want. i was like, is there something wrong with it? Oh, no, no, it's fine.
canadiantimetraveler: The...
Chris: Well, don't have anybody staring into my molars other than you.
canadiantimetraveler: and right
Chris: If it bothers you, you fix it.
canadiantimetraveler: for free because I don't care yeah dentists they're always trying to upsell you
Chris: Yeah. yeah
Chris: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
canadiantimetraveler: well speaking of upselling I had the skeeviest interaction in the world and it's
Chris: So... Oh, go ahead.
Chris: Okay.
canadiantimetraveler: it's very specific to people who go to the gym gym memberships are the worst thing in the world so i've had my the gym i really liked i've had that gym for since they opened like two and a half years i think but it's 30 minutes from my house each way so it's it's when you're going five times a week it's a lot of it's lot of your week right
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Mm-hmm.
Chris: Yeah, that's up
canadiantimetraveler: it's five hours a week every week for you know ad infinitum and that's if you don't go an extra day you know so i was just like i'm gonna look at for a different gym that's a little closer so there's a gym it's not as good i'm gonna be very clear with that but it's i can walk there for my house it's better than a plane fitness but it's not as good as the gym i was going to because they're like well do you go to this gym i'm like well i go to this gym and thought oh how do we compare him'm like well you're closer
Chris: up. Right, yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: that's important. I'm like, it's an important. So get to this. They're giving this spiel and they're like, what what do you think? I'm like, well, I've canceled my gym membership at my other gym. So I'm, you know, let's go.
canadiantimetraveler: And they're like, okay, well, here's the the deal we're running. I'm like, I don't want to just, what is the monthly membership for this fucking gym?
Chris: yeah
canadiantimetraveler: Right. And on the, on the thing that I'm signing, it says first month free, right? First month free. That means if I sign up on, let's say March the 20th, you would imagine my first payment would be on what day?
Chris: Yes.
Chris: April 21st.
canadiantimetraveler: Oh, so um a month o away, right?
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: The girl says, well, your first payment will be April 4th.
Chris: What?
canadiantimetraveler: Now, it says, on the thing that you're handing me, first month free. Well, that's not what it means.
canadiantimetraveler: In the English language, the word month is very specific.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: So it's either you mean 30 days or the first full calendar month is free. Those are the two options here. So either I'm paying on April 20th or I'm paying on May 1st.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Well, i don't i don't, I don't make the promotion, sir. i I don't give a fuck who makes it. It says it in writing. Well,
Chris: Yeah. Month, a measure of time corresponding nearly to the period of the moon's revolution and or amounting to approximately four weeks or 30 days or one 12th of one year.
canadiantimetraveler: but
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, it's not two weeks.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: that's That's called a furlong.
canadiantimetraveler: just And she's like, she's i'm good I'm getting in there.
Chris: Oh, God.
canadiantimetraveler: I'm like, I want to. ah And then, of course well, and you have ah a processing fee every year. And there's a convenience fee for your payment.
Chris: What?
canadiantimetraveler: there's a convenience fee for my payment. Well, that's just how we process your fee. That's part of the membership. Just put that on the tin. This is what my membership costs. That's only only one out of you.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: It's just like so infuriating.
Chris: Don't try to lie to me when there's all these little add-on charges.
canadiantimetraveler: Right. Just what is take whatever money you say I owe you after a year, break that into 12, what we would call in my parlance monthly payments.
canadiantimetraveler: In your your parlance, 12 is bi-monthly, but, you know, we'll well well work on it.
Chris: Whatever.
canadiantimetraveler: So take that number and just tell me what the number is. which I'm willing to pay the extra $3 a month so that I don't have a surcharge and whatever the crap.
Chris: Hmm.
canadiantimetraveler: Just tell me what it is.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: youve You jackanapes.
Chris: Yeah, it's...
canadiantimetraveler: So I probably won't be at this gym for long because it'll be frustrating.
Chris: Well... Yeah. Well, I'm assuming you have a Burner bank account, because that's the easiest way to get out of a gym membership, because when you try to cancel, it's ridiculous.
canadiantimetraveler: Right.
canadiantimetraveler: Well, the fun part is the credit card that I gave them expires in two weeks.
Chris: Nice!
canadiantimetraveler: So if I'm just like, I don't feel like dealing with this.
canadiantimetraveler: Good luck taking me to collections for 30 bucks. Well, I made sure that there's no there's no contract with this membership. Because that's another thing Jim's like to do. that We need to put you on a yearly contract.
canadiantimetraveler: i don't work for you i'm paying for your service i'm coming to you
Chris: right yeah what yeah how does it hurt you if I'm not in a contract with you yeah I can see your employees yeah have a contract with them
canadiantimetraveler: right
canadiantimetraveler: Well, there's another gym that I went to go check out and it's like in the back of a industrial park. And like I go to their website, it's like, oh, a friendly gym with top line equipment coming and check it out. I'm like, okay. So I walk up the door and there's a sign. It says, if you would like to check out our gym, you have to go on this website and get a guest pass.
canadiantimetraveler: And that pass will allow you to unlock the door.
Chris: what no yeah
canadiantimetraveler: you have to pay for a guest pass i'm like i'm not doing this sounds super shady what the hell so if i knock on this door no one's gonna open the door and be but like hey can i help you i'd like to show you around the gym yeah yeah i don't know man like they're super straight like the the gym i just left when you walk in the first thing you have you know how like you go into a car dealership and there's like those cubicles
Chris: yeah
canadiantimetraveler: They have four cubicles for like processing members into the gym.
Chris: What?
canadiantimetraveler: It's super skeevy. It's like, why does it have to be this way?
Chris: Do they brand you?
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. They have to upsell you. They sell you on everything. It's like, just, I want to come in here, lift up heavy things and put heavy things down.
Chris: my gosh.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: That's all I want out of you people.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. This is just,
Chris: Oh, we noticed that you're not wearing our socks.
canadiantimetraveler: Oh yeah. Well, the that was the one thing I couldn't stand it. Well, two things I couldn't stand by old gym is every time you walked in there, we're selling this supplement or this giveaway. You just, you spin this wheel and you can get $10 off supplements.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Like just, I just want to, you're not Amazon. I just want to pick shit up, put shit down.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: And the other thing is they were,
Chris: Yeah. Oof.
canadiantimetraveler: They had trainers. That was like their thing. Like, oh, we we need to get you in with the trainer and you can pay.
Chris: yeah
canadiantimetraveler: It's like, i don't know, 120 bucks a month for their trainer sessions. And the trainers leave the gym a mess. They never put shit away. They treat it like crap.
Chris: really see i would think the gym would be on their ass about that yeah
canadiantimetraveler: you You would think they would do that. They they do not. Yeah. Yeah. The trainers are. and The trainers that gym are.
canadiantimetraveler: There are, cause I'm there, I was there a good amount and I've seen a lot of the trainers. There's like two that are really good. The rest of them are are looking at their phone and go, uh-huh, yeah, 10 more.
Chris: yeah
canadiantimetraveler: Of course, the new gym I have has trainers. who they don't have their own private area, so have to keep the gym clean. And the one guy is, he's walking around in Crocs, his shirt untucked.
canadiantimetraveler: He's got a huge ass beer belly. His hat turned backwards. I'm like, I don't want you to be my trainer.
Chris: He's a trainer?
canadiantimetraveler: Right? Like, i know I don't want to be shaming people's bodies, but you're a physical trainer. Like, you i should look at you and go I want to look like that.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Right.
canadiantimetraveler: right look back I already look like that guy. I don't need to take lessons from him. I got that on lockdown. I'll just go eat a pizza. I got that shit done.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: God.
canadiantimetraveler: So my wife was like, we should just open your own gym. i'm like, man, it's not a bad idea.
Chris: Yeah. Or just yeah build your own gym in your garage.
canadiantimetraveler: If I had a garage, yeah.
Chris: but That's why you have to build a garage.
canadiantimetraveler: Then I have to get the snake to eat the garage. It's a whole thing.
Chris: God. Oh, I forgot that. Yeah. Well, this just happened this morning. So it is it was like quarter of eight. I was like, I'm run to the grocery store real quick. Grab a couple things.
Chris: That way nobody's there. I come to the stoplight, and there's a gentleman walking down the road. And I was going to make a right, but I was like, i I'll just go straight because he's probably crossing at the crosswalk. So I just kind of wave at him.
Chris: He waves, and then he holds his finger up and walks towards me.
canadiantimetraveler: Oh, boy.
Chris: was like, oh, no, no.
canadiantimetraveler: Are you in the city vehicle or are you in your personal vehicle?
Chris: That was in my personal vehicle.
canadiantimetraveler: Okay, so then you shot this guy.
Chris: Yeah. So put my window down like a quarter of the way and it's this, I don't know, probably sixties gentlemen, beard walks up.
Chris: Do you use the five blade razors? I look around. What's on your face? The five blade. I'm like, uh, no. Oh, you use one of those electric things. Yeah.
Chris: okay i'm sorry sir light changed i gotta go what the hell was he doing
canadiantimetraveler: well
canadiantimetraveler: What the fuck is going on in your life? What is going on?
Chris: don't know
canadiantimetraveler: I would have like put my car in park, sat there for a couple minutes, and then I think i wouldve just gone on home and closed my doors and locked every door in the house. And I would just like, nope, I can't. that the I can't interact with the world right now.
canadiantimetraveler: This is a sign.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. I text my wife. I'm like, this is why I can't go out in public without an adult.
canadiantimetraveler: crazy.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what he was trying. And I like thinking back, he had like a bag of Bic razors, disposable razors in his hand.
canadiantimetraveler: I'm just gonna sell your brazers?
Chris: at wasn't gonna give it, but he had a full beard. i don't know. Maybe he didn't need them. Wanted to give them to me. i don't know.
canadiantimetraveler: That's a weird one.
Chris: yeah yeah
canadiantimetraveler: we had a We had a real ute situation in my house the other day.
Chris: Uh, that's clown spider ghost.
canadiantimetraveler: No, no, no. So we haven't had mice again.
Chris: Hmm.
canadiantimetraveler: So I was like, all right, motherfuckers, I'm putting a little trap out.
Chris: Hmm. Hmm.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: and And I was so mad because I set the trap. you know like after I cleaned up after dinner, cleaned the kitchen counter, and then set the trap with peanut butter on there.
Chris: Yep.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: And I'm like, all right, this little fucker. And i just had it was like my B-shift. So I just happened to be up playing games all night.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: and And it was a little later at night. It is like 11 o'clock, by the way, all night. 11 o'clock I was tuckered out and went to bed.
Chris: Uh-huh.
canadiantimetraveler: So at 11 o'clock I got up there and drank my glass water and I'm like, that motherfucker ate the peanut butter. Clean the peanut butter right off trap. I'll deal with this in the morning.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: So slept in a little late. and By little late, you know, 6.37.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: But the wife had gotten up early because the dog's been sick and there was a whole thing.
Chris: Hmm. Hmm.
canadiantimetraveler: And she's like, thank God you're awake. I'm like, what?
canadiantimetraveler: What has happened? What have I missed? What?
Chris: The mouse has a knife.
canadiantimetraveler: because Because to be fair, when I'm not at work, when I'm at work, I sleep like I'm in prison. When I'm not at work, I sleep like the dead. I have no idea what's going on in the world when I'm at work.
Chris: Right.
canadiantimetraveler: so So she's like, thank God you're working. I'm like, what? What's going on? She's like, you have to go to the kitchen and take care it. I'm like, take care of what? And she's like, just go. And there's a mouse on the trap.
canadiantimetraveler: but the little bastard must have been walking the wrong way and it only clipped him in the back legs and he's still alive on the trap and she's like do something i'm like do you want me to get the gun what do you what is our play here i don't know what what am i supposed to do take it out back like lenny and choke it to death i don't understand what you want out of me
Chris: oh oh
Chris: oh you do something yeah
canadiantimetraveler: She's like, well, it's too cute. I can't deal with it. I'm like, and then she's this. I love my, I love my wife to death. She says, I don't know how to work the trap to get him out of it. I'm like, that's not true. It can't be true.
canadiantimetraveler: Those aren't, those are words you're using to make me do it, but that can't be true.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: So I take the little bastard out. He's looking at me with his big eyes. I'm like, yeah, sorry, bud. Survival of fittest, I guess. i know And I take him out and I open the trap and he crawls through my yard on his army crawling on his front paws. I'm like, oh my God.
canadiantimetraveler: I hope the cats get him quick. Yeah. So we had a real Chris situation in my house.
Chris: I thought you were going to say like a hawk flew down. Got it.
canadiantimetraveler: Fine. Circle of life.
Chris: he should let one of the dogs eat it.
canadiantimetraveler: No.
Chris: Yeah, I know.
canadiantimetraveler: not watching that. Yeah, it was a was a real event.
Chris: ah Oh my gosh.
canadiantimetraveler: no
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: But apparently she had just sat there and for like an hour or two hours with the mouse on the trap like that. I'm like, that's cruel. You should have taken care of it.
Chris: They're just sitting there drinking coffee staring at it.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, like, what are you? What are you, Hitler?
Chris: Here's a piece of cheese!
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, you're feeding it. this She's like, ah I was thinking we could just put it in a cage and and we'll just feed it and let it live its life out. I'm like, what up We're not doing that.
canadiantimetraveler: not having a right We're not having a handy capable mouse.
Chris: him a little mouse wheelchair!
canadiantimetraveler: I'm not building mouse ramps around the house. I'm not doing this.
Chris: god!
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, that was our event.
Chris: That's good stuff.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: yeah
canadiantimetraveler: Well, ready to move on.
Chris: Yeah. Time for topic one.
canadiantimetraveler: big one So apparently, and i this is going to be shock to anyone who's ever listened to this podcast, I'm a weirdo.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: I was informed last night that I'm a weirdo. So we were, it was a kind of slow day at work. Got all my work done, actually caught up on some stuff.
canadiantimetraveler: So we were like, oh, watching movies. So we went over to, you know, after dinner, we're watching the lounge and one of my firefighters puts on the anaconda movie the one with uh jack black and paul rudd what a dog shit movie that is by the way oh my god it was it before that on the fx was the ghostbuster movie that also looked painful to watch couldn't handle it paul rudd was in it
Chris: and Paul Rudd yeah oh I figured yeah
Chris: which one there's been two of them yeah he's in both of them yeah
canadiantimetraveler: Then I got nothing. Oh, ah the guy from Die Hard was in it.
canadiantimetraveler: Well, he's in Die Hard 2. I'm not sure if he's in... He must be in Die Hard 1 as well, I think. He's the reporter guy. Yeah.
Chris: Oh, yeah. I think that was the first Paul Rudd one. I don't know. Either way.
canadiantimetraveler: It was rough watching.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: It was a rough watch.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. So anyways, we watched this Anikana movie and I'm like, oh, I'm a little uncomfortable and my back's little tight. So I cross my legs sitting in the chair. Take my shoes off. and not an animal.
canadiantimetraveler: Right? So I'm crossing my legs sitting in the chair. And apparently I'm a weirdo because how I cross my legs. When you sit... what the Utes call crisscross applesauce, which in our parlance of our age would be called Indian style, which I guess is not considered PC anymore.
Chris: Yes.
Chris: Right.
Chris: No.
canadiantimetraveler: How do you say
Chris: I don't know. My ankles crossed and my butt like right on top of my heels.
canadiantimetraveler: So I am a weirdo.
Chris: What? Wait, how do you sit? Do you sit like Lotus style?
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: With your feet up on your knees?
canadiantimetraveler: We're just one foot up.
Chris: One foot on a knee.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, so like my one leg is is perpendicular. Wait. One leg is parallel with the with the chair and the other leg is parallel on top of that one.
canadiantimetraveler: Basically. Yeah, and apparently that makes me a weirdo.
Chris: That just makes you flexible.
canadiantimetraveler: Well, that was the next conversation was the sergeant from the truck was like, i can't believe you can sit like that. I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, I can't even sit Indian style, the normal, the weirdo, what I consider the weird way.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: And he was, I was like this, that can't be true. You're not 90 years old with osteoporosis. You gotta to be able to sit cross-legged.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: And he's like, no. So he tried he tried it and he could not do it. could not do it i'm like this is great apparently this is a well first off we have to have a survey of the department so we're gonna have to send out an official survey every member of the department and we're gonna find out what is the correct way to sit cross-legged
Chris: Is this like a new Firehouse challenge we need to start?
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: No, no, no, no, no. We just tell them sit cross-legged and see how they sit.
canadiantimetraveler: Oh, videotape yourself cross-legged and send it to us.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Okay.
Chris: Yes.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. Yeah. yeah All right.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: I don't have time to like see each person.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: So yeah, they're going to send me a video. Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Starting with Fire Chief.
Chris: I'll get on that Monday morning.
canadiantimetraveler: yeah Make sure you give me a video Monday morning of him sitting cross-legged.
Chris: Yep.
canadiantimetraveler: And then we'll have to see if they're flexible enough. Because then I was like, you know, I'm sitting in the correct way.
canadiantimetraveler: And I'm like reaching out with my arms and touching the floor and reaching further and further. And he's like, how are you doing that? I'm like,
canadiantimetraveler: I think you need help. I think you're a...
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: and He's a physical person.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: you know he's I would consider him in really good shape. i was like, bud, you need a need some yoga in your life.
Chris: Yeah. Sounds like it.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. yeah I really don't have a good point to this, except boy, people need yoga in their lives.
Chris: Well, I mean.
canadiantimetraveler: And, for God's sakes, it's the correct way is with your legs up. Lotus style. It's better for your back.
Chris: Yeah. I mean, flexibility is a huge thing. um yeah i don't know it's just yeah it is though i mean let's
canadiantimetraveler: I just never thought of that as flexibility.
canadiantimetraveler: Ever.
canadiantimetraveler: If you saw a little kid sitting, you know, cross-legged on the floor, you wouldn't be like, that kid's really flexible.
Chris: right but like
canadiantimetraveler: You'd like, that's a normal child.
Chris: I'm literally trying to do what you just described and my right knee is like up near my chest. Yes.
canadiantimetraveler: how would your knee get up near your chest you sit on the floor what yes my right foot is is just past the the crease now um we're all now we're just having a lesson
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Because my right foot is on my left knee.
Chris: Yes.
canadiantimetraveler: my left foot is just past the crease in my between my thigh and my leg my calf
Chris: Yeah, yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: And my my knee is at a flat plane from the foot over.
Chris: Now, I'm at like a 45 degree angle.
canadiantimetraveler: Ow!
Chris: Because I'm not flexible.
canadiantimetraveler: But that seems harder.
Chris: it's It's going to be even worse with the other foot. Oh, good God, yeah. That's like at a 60 degree angle.
Chris: Yeah, I don't. My hips don't open up like that.
canadiantimetraveler: I think Ted would be very upset with you.
Chris: Oh, yeah, absolutely.
canadiantimetraveler: You've not been doing Ted's chair.
Chris: No, I haven't. No. And I will yeah i will admit, i um I need to work on my flexibility.
canadiantimetraveler: Wow.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: I think I'm stunned by this revelation.
Chris: Yeah. yeah it's a Yeah, it's something we don't think about. i thought you were just go to say they gave you a hard time for sitting no crisscross in the chair. was like, I game like that all the time.
canadiantimetraveler: Oh, yeah. I know I'm a bad person ah for many reasons, but i when I'm sitting gaming, I'm always like one of my legs is always tucked underneath the other one.
Chris: Mm-hmm.
canadiantimetraveler: Always.
Chris: Mm-hmm.
canadiantimetraveler: I always wake up i'm like, oh, God, my foot is asleep.
Chris: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: I do the stand-up fall down.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I feel like we need to have a flexibility class for the fire department because, boy.
Chris: We do. Well, remember they had those PT people come through and it was eye-opening for some people.
canadiantimetraveler: Whew.
canadiantimetraveler: Well, was off that day.
Chris: ah Yeah. Yeah. There were some people it was like, you can't touch your knees. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Whoa.
Chris: Yeah, I exaggerate.
canadiantimetraveler: That's really bad.
Chris: I mean, I'm sure they could all touch it. Well, there's probably one or two that couldn't. But yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Oh, yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: I just wouldn't even thought of like, like I said, like I didn't think of that as, I don't think of myself as a flexible person in any shape or form. And the cause you know, look at me, you're not taking flexibility when you see this guy and just peak.
Chris: peak power.
canadiantimetraveler: Well, you know, mass pushes mass. So that's a rule.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: That's, that's a physics rule.
Chris: Yeah, but I mean, there, i have known our logistics chief in high school, he was a much bigger guy. And he played first base and would do a full split.
Chris: So, I mean, yeah, size doesn't always determine flexibility. And i used to be a very flexible guy. Like, I could do the, like, the Jean-Claude Van Damme, like, split between two chairs thing.
canadiantimetraveler: oh oh
Chris: Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: um always problem i'm more I'm afraid of what happens when you can't get out of it.
Chris: It was easy. I leaned forward, put my hands on the floor, and brought my legs in.
canadiantimetraveler: Oh, yeah, yeah, easy.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Well, my recommendation is everybody work on their flexibility, apparently, because...
Chris: yeah i Yeah, I guess I need to do yoga every day again.
canadiantimetraveler: yeah So this this conversation happened at work one day.
Chris: something.
canadiantimetraveler: And I was saying that like every day when I get up and take a shower, i sit, I stand in the in the shower, I bend down, get the flat back and then bend down every further every day.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: And somebody was like, you do that every day? I'm like, to do your people's backs just hurt all of the time?
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Like, do you not stretch your backs?
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: I just don't know that I could live like that.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I shower in chair pose.
canadiantimetraveler: That's good. You should probably.
Chris: Oh my God.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, you know, work them hip flexors.
Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, i and I don't know. I was just boned by... And, you know, because I i also get... At my old gym, i used get combos all the time because do balance work all the time. I'm like...
Chris: Mm-hmm.
canadiantimetraveler: You guys like realize as you get older, balance gets real out of whack. That's how you get you fall and get hurt.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: You should just work on these things.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's one of the assessments is it's like, hold your, you know stand on one leg, hold the other foot, just like an inch or two off the ground and close your eyes.
canadiantimetraveler: Okay.
Chris: And it is surprising how many people can't do that.
canadiantimetraveler: I I can do it for a couple seconds.
Chris: You can do it for longer than that.
canadiantimetraveler: I'm doing it now.
Chris: See?
canadiantimetraveler: Count me.
Chris: um yeah see yeah you can do it for a while yeah yeah
canadiantimetraveler: Still doing it. Still got it. But see, I can go higher. It's easier when I go higher. one of One inch off the ground a little tougher. Ooh, left foot's not scoot.
Chris: yeah but still i mean it's it's crazy that the balance that people don't have you know yeah let's just look at the way that some people stand
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. It's eye-opening to me. Because again, like i said,
Chris: And it's like, you are not standing the right way. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: Weight in your heels.
canadiantimetraveler: we sitting
Chris: The hips.
canadiantimetraveler: Or sitting in cars.
Chris: yeah
canadiantimetraveler: That's the one I noticed a lot too. It's like now people all lean back in their cars so fat so far.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: It's gotta be bad for you.
Chris: Yeah. i I don't. People fuss at me. They get in the vehicle after me because I usually keep, I mean, my, like the Jeep is like a 90 degree angle almost.
canadiantimetraveler: It's like an ironing board tucked into another ironing board.
Chris: Yeah, I mean, yeah i mean um I sit upright most of the time. So yeah, I don't want to lean back. That's just, i don't like that.
canadiantimetraveler: I used to, my great grandmother used to come visit us all the time. And whenever my grandmother used to visit us, I had to move out of the my bedroom and she would stay in my bedroom. So ah she couldn't sleep on my mattress.
canadiantimetraveler: So we had a piece of plywood that would that would go like a really thick, like subfloors, you know how like subflooring is what, half inch or, you know, three quarter inch plywood.
Chris: Oh my gosh. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: And we would put that underneath of my mattress to firm it up for her because she couldn't sleep on a soft mattress.
Chris: Oh my gosh.
canadiantimetraveler: That's how she slept every night for her 104 years.
Chris: See?
canadiantimetraveler: You know, yeah, you know, that might be one of her secrets.
Chris: There's one of the secrets. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. Amazing posture, that woman.
Chris: Yeah. See? Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Let's say, I mean, yeah. the whole flexibility posture. I mean, it all ties together. You know, so many people now they have that, you know, what they call it, the tech neck or whatever, where they like lean down looking at their phone.
canadiantimetraveler: Oh, yeah, yeah. From leaning over a computer. because oh Yeah, yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: It's yeah. Yeah. If you sit up straight and you pull your shoulders back, it's amazing how much better you feel.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, if you sit in a disposed and just meditate for couple minutes.
Chris: Well, yeah, there's that too. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: With your back straightening, you know shoulders tucked back.
Chris: But
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: I said it was eye-opening to me because I was just... I wouldn't have thought someone who was as physically fit as that person would not be able to sit cross-legged.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: Right. Now, how about the old man? Was he able to?
canadiantimetraveler: Only when wasn't there.
Chris: oh oh that's right.
canadiantimetraveler: right
Chris: He got transferred.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. We got moved that day.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: But, yeah you know, there's no way he could do it.
Chris: What? Could the Ute?
canadiantimetraveler: ah The long-legged ute was there, and she could, but she was the one who called me weird because I sit in lotus pose.
Chris: Oh, yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: She didn't try lotus pose, though.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Fair. Yeah. but That's how i sit in the, like, when I'm in the sauna at the gym, at the L gym, I sit lotus pose. Like, i wait I do that all the time.
Chris: Good God. So you give everybody a show?
canadiantimetraveler: Every bit of it, bud.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: sure They should charge. Yeah, they should. Yeah, yeah they should pay you for that.
canadiantimetraveler: That's right. They're getting a show the sauna.
Chris: Yeah, yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: I'm there to help. No, I wear boxers. I'm in the sauna. might make it in my sauna.
Chris: Oh, I thought you got in the sauna with just a towel.
canadiantimetraveler: No!
Chris: Oh.
canadiantimetraveler: It's not a Greek bathhouse in the seventy s It's a fucking sauna in a public gym. We had that conversation at work yesterday, like about what age, again, you have to be to the old ass walking around naked in the gym locker room?
Chris: Oh.
canadiantimetraveler: And the answer is still not 46. Yeah.
Chris: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. God, I saw a video. ah You talk about the bathhouse. It was one of those bathhouses in, I don't know, Italy or Greece or somewhere. That water was brown.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, of course.
Chris: That's gross.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: That's how you get like diphtheria and shit.
canadiantimetraveler: What you think about these people that jump in mud baths? You think they change that mud out between? It's...
Chris: No. but They say that the mud is, what it, highly alkalitic, so it
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: kills anything.
canadiantimetraveler: I saw a video yesterday of a chick farting in the mud bath and a giant bubble coming up, so...
Chris: oh my god.
Chris: What happened there?
canadiantimetraveler: don't care. I don't care what kind of alkaline bacteria is in air. It's disgusting.
Chris: mean, public pools and amusement parks?
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, my chlorine kills everything.
Chris: Does it?
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: God. don't know.
canadiantimetraveler: I feel safe on chlorine.
Chris: and Remember we had the co-worker who tried to help his buddy and figured out that you can't poop at eight, or what he say, 12 feet underwater or something?
canadiantimetraveler: Yes. Yes.
Chris: God!
canadiantimetraveler: That man has as a respectable job and kids.
Chris: I know!
canadiantimetraveler: It's crazy.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: When he calls me from his new job, and he's I'm like, do people know who you are?
Chris: Yeah. yeah See, now these kids like go to the YMCA for their swim lessons.
canadiantimetraveler: this...
Chris: Just remember, you can't poop underwater.
canadiantimetraveler: there's ah There's still a a sign on the pool. This man not allowed of the pool.
Chris: Uh, yeah. Yeah. I do wish public pools would put the dye in though. That if somebody pees in it, it turns blue or red or whatever. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: I can't remember the time went to a public pool.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. That's why I have a little pool in my backyard.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Well, move to the topic dose.
Chris: Topic two. Yeah. I thought you were going to kind of hit on it when you were talking about the horrible movie you watched.
canadiantimetraveler: Oh.
Chris: Um, yeah, so i what was it? Friday night. Yeah. My wife was at a concert out of town. So was like, you know what?
Chris: She's that, doing that. My youngest is upstairs, teening. So I'm going to watch a movie. i was like, oh, I still, i haven't seen the newest Jurassic park.
Chris: The was it Jurassic park rebirth?
canadiantimetraveler: Oh, God. Yeah.
Chris: Oh my gosh.
canadiantimetraveler: Sure.
Chris: i I don't well one Scarlett Johansson beautiful young lady I hated her character in 10 minutes yeah I was like what no why would you make me dislike this lady and then there was have you watched it oh my gosh they shoehorn in this family that was sailing across the Atlantic on their sailboat and just
canadiantimetraveler: Lovely woman.
canadiantimetraveler: Sure.
canadiantimetraveler: No.
Chris: Yeah, the whole premise is they have to go to this other island that InGen had, you know, because evidently they had every island in the Caribbean. That they were mutating the dinosaurs because regular dinosaurs weren't cool enough.
Chris: But these were like the ones that didn't work out well, but but but they still had some normal dinosaurs. I don't know. It didn't make sense. But they needed blood samples from the three biggest dinosaurs.
Chris: one from the water, one from the land and one from the air, because that those blood samples were going to let them make this heart disease drug that was going to eradicate heart disease.
canadiantimetraveler: to make a Pokemon.
Chris: I'm like, well, the science isn't sciencing there.
canadiantimetraveler: what What would dinosaur blood have anything to do with human heart disease?
Chris: Because these dinosaurs were the biggest of their species, so their hearts were stronger.
canadiantimetraveler: It's not a... It's not a... People...
Chris: see i know know
canadiantimetraveler: People don't have heart attacks because their muscles aren't strong.
canadiantimetraveler: And why wouldn't you just go to a blue whale and take the blue whales? Because at least that's a mammal. A blue whale is bigger than any dinosaurs ever lived.
canadiantimetraveler: So why wouldn't you just take a blue whale's DNA and if that was your...
Chris: and it had to be from a live specimen because the blood hypercoagulates and breaks down seconds after a dinosaur's death but no no that's not how things work yeah yeah yeah
canadiantimetraveler: Or just inject heparin in it. I mean, it'd be fine. ah Well, I want to live like to be 200, so I just inject tortoise blood in my ass?
canadiantimetraveler: Is that how that works?
Chris: yes
canadiantimetraveler: Lobsters are functionally immortal, so I should just inject lobster DNA in myself?
Chris: Well, yeah, because it's blue. Yeah, i I, I, well, oh, and the whole, you know, it's got to be, you know, the blood, but from the, the avia, the, uh, Quetzalcoatl.
Chris: Oh no. They took it from one of the eggs and he goes, well, I have to make sure not to rupture the membrane. I'm like, you're sticking a needle into an egg.
Chris: You're rupturing a membrane.
Chris: And this needle, it was like a so it was like a 14 gauge needle.
canadiantimetraveler: You know...
canadiantimetraveler: Fair. You know, look, there's a suspension of disbelief when you watch the first Jurassic Park, right?
Chris: Right. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: But... It's not that the science, well, a lot of the dinosaur science was wrong, but like the concept at least checks out a little bit.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Oh, they're preserved dino DNA in its blood samples.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: I mean, it would never work, right?
Chris: no right
canadiantimetraveler: But the concept sort of makes sense. Why would you come up with some nonsensical bullshit? All you had to do was put out a dinosaur movie where people were interacting with dinosaurs and the dinosaurs were freaking cool.
Chris: yeah right well and yeah there were these weird like pteranodon looking things but they they look more like gargoyles i guess that was one of the mutants
canadiantimetraveler: That's all you have to do.
Chris: And then the big bad was the D-Rex. It had four arms, or yeah, six legs. Like, it was bipedal, but the front arms were longer, the middle ones were shorter, and this weird bulbous head.
Chris: it
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, but a D-Rex is 15 times not as cool as a T-Rex.
Chris: i
Chris: yeah yeah, that's what I was like, but that just looks stupid.
canadiantimetraveler: Because clearly there's 15 letters between D and T, so clearly the D is 15 times worse than the T.
Chris: That doesn't look.
Chris: uh yeah it just i i was just yeah yeah and like the velociraptors like the scariest thing in jurassic park because they're pack hunters and sneak all around yeah no they weren't in this yeah but i i it ah well why did i actually watch this movie
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. well
canadiantimetraveler: I have a real question. And I'm going to, I don't want to shit on people's. yeah Well, not that, but that's, yes, also true. well
Chris: hmm
canadiantimetraveler: Has there been a good Jurassic park since Jurassic park?
Chris: No, and I think that's the thing. it's They try to outdo themselves with sequels all the time, and it's like, no. It doesn't always...
canadiantimetraveler: But there hasn't been a good one. Not even one where you're like, that has a glimmer of hope to be as good as the first one. Right? Not one of them.
canadiantimetraveler: Because wasn't one of the Chris Pratt ones, the idea was he was training raptors to be used as military drones or some shit?
Chris: Pretty much, yeah. Yeah, he had a clicker, like with a dog.
canadiantimetraveler: What?
Chris: Click, click. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Right, right.
Chris: yeah uh dogs a small dog but yeah yeah big chicken small dog yeah yeah yeah now
canadiantimetraveler: By the way, raptors are the size of chickens. Let's get the science right. know Big chickens.
canadiantimetraveler: Which, look, big chickens are terrifying. Chickens themselves are terrifying. You don't want to mess with a wild chicken. But I don't understand why they keep making these movies.
Chris: right yeah I don't think they made money off of this last one yeah
canadiantimetraveler: I know why they're making these movies, because apparently they're making money. Okay, great good. Maybe they'll stop.
Chris: yeah
canadiantimetraveler: Like legitimately the last good Jurassic Park movie was the first one, which is, was amazing for its time.
Chris: yeah yeah oh yeah no well i mean that's unfortunately a huge thing e yes oh e yeah yeah yeah which fun fact about the movie when they're coming in on the helicopter and grant
canadiantimetraveler: Wasn't as good as the book.
canadiantimetraveler: Sure. But they like changed some pretty important stuff in the book or the book to the movie. It was like for no good reason. Yeah.
Chris: can't get his seatbelt to work and he ties them together because he finds a way.
canadiantimetraveler: It's because there are two female ones.
canadiantimetraveler: Fun fact.
Chris: Yeah. So, but yeah, I just, I was like, you know, why did, why did people, directors, producers, whatever was sequels always think it has to like, I get you want to improve some things and all that's fine, but you don't have to like go eight times to the extreme.
canadiantimetraveler: But I think my point my point is valid.
Chris: Look.
canadiantimetraveler: I want to see a movie where you bring dinosaurs to life and make them look cool. I don't need anything more than that.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: No.
canadiantimetraveler: Jurassic Park was amazing. Look, it was wrong.
Chris: Right.
canadiantimetraveler: We're pretty sure a lot of the science is now saying of it was wrong. But boy, it made dinosaurs look cool. And they were that was all I needed out of life.
Chris: Yeah. Right.
canadiantimetraveler: That's all I need of a Jurassic Park movie.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: it be It would be like...
Chris: Because guess what? These giant prehistoric animals were terrifying.
canadiantimetraveler: It was just like all the Terminator sequels, right?
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Like every time they mess with Terminator, it's like they missed the point of Terminator.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: It's an implacable enemy that's terrifying.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Everything after that, you screwed it up.
Chris: Right.
canadiantimetraveler: You just want to see Terminator do Terminator or cool shit.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In the first one, he's like, he you know, You the Terminators, they won't stop. They won't, you know, they don't need to eat. They just keep coming or, know, whatever. It's like, yeah that's the terrifying part of it.
canadiantimetraveler: Great. That's the terrifying part of the Terror Predator franchise.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If it's just walking slowly.
canadiantimetraveler: The Alien franchise. As soon as they tried to have...
Chris: Yes.
canadiantimetraveler: As soon as they tried to have sex with the Alien, it ruined the franchise.
Chris: Oh, God.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Just...
Chris: like ah Predator and Predator 2. Yeah. Let the Predator 2 crazy Predator stuff.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, Predator 2 is not a great movie, but at least they didn't mess with the premise of the Predator movies. right it was just It was just a thing hunting humans for sport.
Chris: Right. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: just Boy.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: They just keep messing shit up.
Chris: Yeah. it's It's like it's right there. All you had to do was just, hey, oh, we can make the effects look a little bit better. Cool.
canadiantimetraveler: Everybody loves Scarlett Johansson. Everybody loves dinosaurs. But those two things in the movie, you got yourself a a billion dollar franchise.
Chris: Right.
canadiantimetraveler: That's all you need.
Chris: But instead, they cocked it up.
canadiantimetraveler: right they just fucked it up they just you just ah yeah yeah i doubt oh it's tough i can't like everybody complains that comic book movies ruined cinema right like oh nobody wants to watch movies anymore because all they want watch is comic movies
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: but Is it that or it's just everybody puts out bad movies all the time? yeah And if if I'm paying $27 a person to go to the theater or whatever the heck it is, and 70% of them are drivel and crap, or the other 30% that's not drivel and crap is artsy-fartsy crap that I don't want to watch, then 100% of the time don't want to watch these movies.
Chris: oh Yeah. Right.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: It's...
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, I just... I feel bad because I really liked the Dune, the first Dune, the the new of the...
Chris: Hmm.
canadiantimetraveler: I just...
Chris: How was the sequel?
canadiantimetraveler: I haven't seen it.
Chris: Oh, OK. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: And I really don't have a good excuse for not watching it yet.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: But I haven't seen part two and I haven't seen the sequel yet. So I don't, but ah I'm just so worried that they're gonna screw it up that I don't want to watch it. I'm more worried that they're going screw it up and ruin my enjoyment of it.
canadiantimetraveler: Then I am looking forward to enjoying the movie.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: And that makes it hard for me.
Chris: yeah no yeah yeah
canadiantimetraveler: but Honestly, the only movies I want to watch these days are comedies because they don't take them so seriously.
Chris: Yeah, yeah. Well, that's why you watched the comedy the other night at work, you know, the fun romp of Anaconda. Which is that a comedy? Well,
canadiantimetraveler: I think to be a comedy, it has to be funny at some point.
Chris: because I mean, the original Anaconda movie was supposed to be like an action suspense.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um,
Chris: John Voight, one of the best actors.
canadiantimetraveler: something I'm gonna say something and I hope he doesn't listen I'm sure he's a lovely human being Jack Black can't be the main character of any movie I watch
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: uh-oh
Chris: no he's too much yeah yeah he's that guy that shows up at the party and you're like oh god yeah yeah yeah
canadiantimetraveler: just he's too much it's too much and I'm also gonna say this
canadiantimetraveler: Paul Rudd love love him in a lot of things he's a great supporting character also can't read the movie I look this is not me throwing shade i guess it is me throwing shade it's just for my personal enjoyment not great but it was not a funny movie it wasn't it wasn't funny
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: It wasn't an action movie, so I don't know what it was.
Chris: yeah Yeah. yeah
canadiantimetraveler: I just got out of it watching that and said, huh, I watched a movie. That's what I felt. Well, that has been watched, and I don't have to watch it anymore, and I can warn others to not watch it.
Chris: ah According IMBD, it's a comedy film. Jack Black and Paul Rudd, two friends who attempt to remake the original Anaconda in the Amazon only to encounter a real giant snake, turning their movie set into a deadly situation.
Chris: It's a meta comedy that's not a reboot, but an original story inspired by the 1997 classic. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't throw this classic word around. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: yeah I wouldn't say classic. It's not a classic. It kind of was not a classic movie, even when it came out.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: um
Chris: Featuring Steve Zahn and Tandy Newton, which I didn't really. That's that's how Tandy Newton spells their name?
canadiantimetraveler: I don't who Tanya Newton is.
Chris: I've heard the name before, but T-H-A-N-D-I-W-E.
canadiantimetraveler: Whoa.
Chris: Yeah. Huh.
canadiantimetraveler: Huh. Well, it's definitely a movie.
Chris: Okay.
canadiantimetraveler: And those people are in it.
Chris: It's a movie. ah
canadiantimetraveler: Is what I would say.
Chris: Had a budget of $45 million. dollars
canadiantimetraveler: And made three.
Chris: Probably. It's got 48% on rotten Tomatoes.
canadiantimetraveler: That seems generous.
Chris: high yeah yeah let's
canadiantimetraveler: For my tastes. for for my particular taste, it seems high.
Chris: uh did it to to oh my gosh yeah it made 134 million dollars worldwide yeah yeah yeah
canadiantimetraveler: Holy nuts. Well, it does have Jack Black in it and Paul Rudd. And they're beloved people.
Chris: yeah
canadiantimetraveler: And I'm in the wrong. I just, boy, it was bad.
Chris: yeah i let's see if jurassic park rebirth made money back
canadiantimetraveler: I'm sure it did. i'm the kids They won't make these movies if they if it didn't.
Chris: oh my gosh yeah it had a budget of 200 million it made 886 million worldwide jesus
canadiantimetraveler: Holy nuts.
Chris: jesus it was One of twenty twenty five's highest grossing films. Oh my god.
canadiantimetraveler: Jesus.
Chris: Well, Jurassic Park Rebirth 2 will be coming out.
canadiantimetraveler: Yep. Yep.
Chris: I just... Just go with what you have and make it a little bit better. Don't... Yeah. That's why, I mean, it wasn't a great movie, but Die Hard 2 was fun because it was Die Hard, but in an airport.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah I would say, and we we talked, actually randomly talked about this at work yesterday. I would say the diehard franchise is,
canadiantimetraveler: is the most true to itself across all of the movies they are not all of the same caliber by any means but they are all die hard movies every one of them you know what you're getting it's yeah john mclean kicking some ass not wearing in shoes yeah uh it's uh
Chris: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Right.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: See, and it all comes back. If he just went to the right podiatrist, he would find a pair of shoes that fit.
canadiantimetraveler: That's true. That's true.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: In better news, Keanu Reeves announced that the Constantine 2 script is done.
Chris: Oh, wow.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, I believe the script is done. i don't know that they've chopped it out yet, but hey, I'm in.
Chris: True. Yeah. God, fingers crossed.
canadiantimetraveler: I mean, feel like they can't screw that up.
Chris: They can. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: I don't know if they can. Well, can... well I like the comic book character.
Chris: yeah
canadiantimetraveler: Probably my favorite DC character, right? So I would say, as a fan of both things, it doesn't... It wouldn't offend me if it's not like the comic book. Because the the first movie is not like the comic book.
Chris: No, it's not.
canadiantimetraveler: Right? Like, i don't know why Constantine gets a pass for me in that sense.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Maybe it's because I really like that movie. Yeah.
Chris: Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was ah it was a fun movie.
canadiantimetraveler: right like If that movie wasn't called Constantine, it would still be a really fun movie with this conversation.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: We'd still be excited for a sequel if they were just like, Constantinus!
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: you know like it's just right like yeah They made their own thing and it's great and it doesn't have anything to do with the comic book and that's cool too.
Chris: Yeah, yeah. Joe hates the devil. oops ah
Chris: Right. Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: But to be fair, like what is the Constantine comic? like He's a bit character in Swamp Thing. Right?
Chris: Yeah. Yeah, he's not a lead man. Well, I think he's got his own comic run.
canadiantimetraveler: He's had his own comic run a couple times, but it always seems to be like he'll have a run as a character and then he'll just show up randomly in other plots for some reason.
Chris: Yeah. But.
Chris: yeah yeah well it's like ant-man or know dr fate or somebody like that you know it's yeah they don't need to be the lead
canadiantimetraveler: Right. Yeah. Which, you again, it's cool. Yeah. But I'm excited for the Constantine 2 movie. I will watch it.
Chris: yeah
canadiantimetraveler: That will be the next comic book movie I probably watch.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Because I don't care about the new Spider-Man.
Chris: I got to see it in the new Spider-Man.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. Look.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: I'm not opposed. It's fine.
Chris: Yeah, I know. It's just, yeah. Yeah. To each their own. It's it it's amazing.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: We can, know, everybody can have their own opinion on something.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, 100%. And clearly my opinion on Jurassic Park, the Rebirth, and both that and Kondo were wrong because they both made money.
Chris: I see. I don't. Yeah. don't know. I don't think that's right.
canadiantimetraveler: Well, Star Wars Force Awakens made a a ton of money.
Chris: Just because it made money doesn't make it a good film.
Chris: a rant for another day.
canadiantimetraveler: It's a raid for another day. But it's ah it fits exactly into our conversation. is
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: You had a thing and you just screwed it up.
Chris: Yeah, it does. Yep. Yep.
canadiantimetraveler: You know.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: And then Daisy Ridley thought she was going to her own career and then was like, oh, I guess I will play Ray because I don' can't get any other roles.
Chris: Yep.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah. Yeah.
canadiantimetraveler: so So silly. So silly.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Now I'm sad.
canadiantimetraveler: Well, I'm not terrible.
Chris: Yeah. yeah But everybody's doing well. Hopefully the smart weather is leaving us.
canadiantimetraveler: but Well, according to my weather app, it's supposed to be cold again on Thursday. Cold and rainy and windy.
Chris: Oh, yay. Yep. God, the fucking kite enthusiasts.
canadiantimetraveler: Well, folks, enjoy the rest of Smarch.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: Yep.
canadiantimetraveler: Let's hope April finally turns the corner. i'm I'm really hoping that we have a spring this year instead of just directly into summer.
Chris: Yeah, spring would be nice.
canadiantimetraveler: Yeah, so, you a couple 60-degree days instead of right to 85. Yeah.
Chris: Yeah, that would be splendid.
canadiantimetraveler: Make sure you check your Smarch detectors because you did turn your clock back.
Chris: that
Chris: Yep. No, forward.
canadiantimetraveler: forward whatever you did.
Chris: Spring forward. ah Take care, folks.
