Transcript
Speaker: Do you get to define it or do others define it for you? We gonna get into it. Let's get it.
Speaker: Welcome. First of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony, here to lead the conversation in important events and topics that are shaping today's society. stay Join the conversation and follow us wherever you get your audio podcast. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcast, YouTube exclusive content, and our YouTube membership.
Speaker: Rate, review, like, comment, share. Share with your friends, share with your family, hell, share with enemies. On today's episode, it's The Sibling Happy. I'm here with my sis, J. Andrea. We're talking Dolly Parton's incredible legacy of giving, Kwanzaa Jones' incredible milestone, and log cabin Republicans deciding who they are willing to stand with.
Speaker: And are you your own worst enemy? But that's enough of the intro. Let's get to the show.
Speaker: There are some people you hear about passing away and you understand the loss. And then there are people whose passing feels personal, even though you've never met them. Dolly Parton was one of those people.
Speaker: She died yesterday, August 25th, in Nashville at 80 years old after a brief battle with cancer. And as heartbreaking as it is, I think what makes Dolly's death the hit different is that we're not just losing a legendary singer.
Speaker: We're losing one of the last people in this country that damn near everybody agreed that we loved. Red state, blue state, city, country, black, white, young, old.
Speaker: None of that really mattered with Dolly. She somehow belonged to everybody. And yeah, we know the songs, Jolene and 9 to 5, all of that. But Dolly's real legacy goes way beyond the music.
Speaker: She made hundreds of millions of dollars, and then she turned around and gave a whole lot of that away. Her imagination library, inspired by her father, has put more than 325 million free books into the hands of children.
Speaker: She gave a million dollars to Vanderbilt during the pandemic, helping support research that contributed to the Moderna vaccine. When wildfires devastated our home region in 2016, her My People Fund helped hundreds of families directly, and she ultimately helped raise more than $12 million dollars for wildfire relief.
Speaker: Even through Dollywood, she helped cover full college tuition for her employees. That's the part I ah want us to sit with today. Because anybody can leave behind money.
Speaker: Anybody can leave behind awards. But what does it mean to leave behind a life that actually made other people's lives better? Dolly Parton didn't just build a career. She built a legacy.
Speaker: And today we're going to celebrate that legacy. But we're also going to talk honestly about what it really costs to create one.
Speaker: What up, sis? What up, brother? I can't call it. I can't call it. ah Just people dropping like hotcakes out here. Yeah, it's really been pretty devastating.
Speaker: Michael Wright, Ron Cephas, Dolly Parton, today also Tim Curry. But boy, Dolly, man, that hit me. I am a Dolly Parton fan. It's so funny. My nephew actually sent me a voice note and he said, you know, I heard about Dolly Parton passing.
Speaker: I don't know who that is. But I said, but he said, but for some reason, I feel like you do. And not only do you know who she is, I feel like you're a fan. And I said, you are absolutely right.
Speaker: I am. And let me tell you who she is. And I just rattled off a bump to pretty much everything you just said. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: One cool thing about Dolly that I feel like is very similar to like someone like a Betty White is that Black people love Dolly Parton. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: And it's because of her, not just her charitable spirit, but the spirit of a community, right, and inclusion
Speaker: This is someone who said, yeah, I think Black Lives Matter. What you think? Only our white lives matter? She used a curse word, I think, in there, but I'm, you know, sanitizing it, you know, for the for the audience. But and this was just an amazing human being whose reach and influence actually touched people's lives, like on an individual level. Like she made an impact.
Speaker: to people and families for the entire, like the duration of her career and life.
Speaker: her Her charitable spirit is not new. Like this has been who she was this entire time, really just a beautiful spirit, definitely had an amazing life, an amazing career.
Speaker: and will be deeply missed by a lot of people. Yeah, I agree with everything that you just said. She was also passing. So let's just go ahead and put that out there.
Speaker: Listen, okay, so... So listen to me right now. If you look, um I think I posted on my stories a picture of a young Dolly Parton, and you tell me that ain't a light-skinned black woman, that I don't know who you're looking at. yeah but People are gonna look at her now, and I'm like, right well, she passed, and I was like, no, that's a white woman.
Speaker: don't know that photo of her, of a young Dolly. I think it's just like in her teens or maybe early 20s. I saw, hmm. Right. i've seen I've seen that picture and that was the first thing I said, huh? ah i I did the same reaction when I saw Babe Ruth pictures when he was young. I was like, hmm.
Speaker: Yep. Same reaction. ah So, you know, you're not going convince me. I don't care if you said, well, these are her parents. It reached far back. That's all I know. that It reached real far back, deep in her roots.
Speaker: And it's got to be there. Yeah. It's got to be in there. But rest in power, Dolly Parton. Absolutely. My final thing on Dolly is when she signed off for Whitney Houston to cover I Will Always Love You, which made the song way more popular. And, and of course, Dolly made millions off of the royalties. For sure. She decided to open up, oh, was it a library?
Speaker: think it was a library in Black Nashville, the Black part in Nashville. And she was like, yeah, I made so much money. Why wouldn't I when not give back to the community? that So rest in power, Dolly. this is But I got some good news, right? like I know we were starting off on you know some somber news, but I got some good news.
Speaker: Okay. You know who Kwanzaa Jones is?
Speaker: All right Now, I'm probably butchering the name, ladies and gentlemen, but her name, I believe is how looking at it. It's Kwanzaa. Yeah, okay. That's what thought. Her name is Kwanzaa Jones, and this week she became the first Black woman to be a majority owner of a major league baseball team.
Speaker: What team? The San Diego Padres, a record $3.9 billion, dollars the most anybody has ever paid for a baseball team, period. Which, also, if we're going to be invited to the party, we got to overpay.
Speaker: Clearly, yeah. Yeah. Now, let me tell you why all this is fascinating before we even get to just her writing that $3.9 billion dollars check.
Speaker: She is a Princeton grad, the daughter of two attorneys. She's won amateur night at the Apollo. She's been crowned Miss Baltimore, charted on the Billboard nine times as a dance artist, went to law school, and then built an investment career.
Speaker: When they introduced her at Petco Park, the intro music played over the room was a song she wrote and recorded herself. So this is not somebody who's a silent partner. Now, will preface all of this by saying that it's her and her husband that
Speaker: that are the majority owners. And her husband is Latino. Okay. Yes. Jose Feliciano. Yeah. So this power couple are now the majority owner, but I'm going focus on Latino, Latino man, black woman,
Speaker: Majority owners. Of course they had to pay $3.9 billion dollars to get the team, and it's the San Diego Padres. way I like San Diego, but I don't think, you know, it's not New York Yankees. ah I don't follow Major League Baseball, so your guess is as good as mine. They could be outstanding. They could not. I don't know.
Speaker: I don't think. You know what? I find them outstanding now. Let me clarify. Not solely the first Latino owner. First Puerto Rican majority owner.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. Puerto Rican. Puerto Rican man, Black woman. Just, you know what? So even though we got all these deaths, we got Black and Puerto Rican owning the team. Now I'm a Padres fan. I'm going to get me a Padres hat.
Speaker: I'm absolutely buying merch. And let me tell you, ah why have I never heard of Kwanzaa Jones? She sounds like Black history. don't I mean, ah she is Black history.
Speaker: Yeah. And so, what in the world? Especially when she's right down the road, Miss Baltimore? Right. Like, what? Why have I never heard of... I got to research this woman and her husband. I want to know both. I want to know both. They met and in Princeton, in undergrad. Her and Felicio.
Speaker: Feliciana? Felici? His name is Jose. No, it's not. Is it? It is. Jose Feliciano. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, it is Jose Feliciano. But I got the last name right. You can't tell me nothing. I got it right. You did. You did. It took a try or two, but you got No, I got Feliciano.
Speaker: No, I I didn't say no Feliciano. The founder and the CEO of Supercharged is a personal development media company. The company committed over $250 million dollars to education and equity. Look, let me tell you something.
Speaker: I don't know where. This is another thing. This is this is what's crazy. And just to do a little detour and big up Bernie Sanders for a second. and People think billionaires and they think it's just only a few.
Speaker: Right? Yeah. They think the the Gates. They think Warren Buffett. They think Elon Musk. You know, I mean, if you really, Steve Ballmer, Jeff Bezos, it's like, they think it's like four or five. No, they're, there are multi-billionaires all over the place.
Speaker: And we don't know them. They be billionaires quietly. Yeah. Quietly. You could see them at Target and you wouldn't even know. You wouldn't even know. I don't know if they would go. Kwanzaa to Target. Why not? You don't think they run into Target real quick?
Speaker: Oh, because of the boycott. You got You're right. forgot about that. I don't go to Target, so
Speaker: I'd be forgetting about the boycott. Yeah. Yes. Target had something that they had to pull a costume, Halloween costume off the shelves. Because it looked like it it looked like a a caricature of, don't even know. Blackface. Yeah, blackface.
Speaker: I looked at the costume and I was like, I don't know, this could be a reach, but just in case, just go ahead and Here's the thing, because it's Target, we not letting it slide. No, we not letting slide. Even if it's a reach, we not going let it slide.
Speaker: But yeah, this this woman sounds like Black history. I mean, it looked like she has got a finger in everything. I mean, what?
Speaker: yeah the First of all, winning amateur night at the Apollo is not a small feat. Like, I understand. Okay, she's a billionaire. I get it. But winning amateur night at the Apollo, you know that Lauryn Hill got booed?
Speaker: She winning when she was a billionaire. I'm just saying that ain't that's not a small feat. Wait, wait. You said get Nike winning amateur night at the Apollo is a bigger feat than becoming a billionaire. I know you're not saying that.
Speaker: I kind of feel like. ah Listen, it ain't easy. No, they looking. That's a tough crowd. And she's charted on Billboard, Crown Miss Baltimore, Law School, Ivy League, Investment Career. What? What?
Speaker: Recording artist. What? Yeah. Came out to her own song that she wrote and produced. Like, look, let me tell you something. I don't know who this person is. I am a fan.
Speaker: am going to be support. I haven't watched the baseball game. Even when I go to the baseball games, I ain't watching the baseball game. bet you I'm now i going to the Padres game. I bet you that. ah I'm going to try to. I don't know the i don't know if the Natinals play the Padres, but I'm going to look into it.
Speaker: I don't know if the Braves play them, but if they do and it's a home game, I'm going to be there. Yeah. With my Padres merch. Shoot. That might be the trip to make, to go out, to go to a Padres home game. Yeah. And just be like, look, I'm here because of you.
Speaker: I'm here. So I became a fan. I'm here for Kwanzaa and Jose. Right. To be honest. That's it. That's it. Look, they might yeah they might top Beyonce and Jay.
Speaker: You know what saying? It might be Jose, Kwanzaa, Jose over Bay and Jay. It might be. It might be. It might be. Listen, I'm not going to say I'm going to support.
Speaker: Right. You done told me something today. now Not only am I going to deeply research this person, because I feel like we all should know who this is. But yes, I will support and I will buy merch and going to put more money back in their pockets. Yeah. I mean, they're already billionaires, but I'm just going to support them for this great achievement because it is a great achievement. Yeah.
Speaker: However, moving to the next thing. hmm. It is so great to see minorities hit milestones.
Speaker: Milestones? Not milestones. yes Milestones? Both. But also, it be your own people. I'm going to explain next.
Speaker: Jay. Yeah. This one's interesting to say the least. Is it going to piss me off? Probably. All right. All right.
Speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, the Log Cabin Republicans. It's already pissed me off. Well, hold on. It's going to piss you off even more. It's the largest and oldest organization for gay conservatives in this country.
Speaker: Okay. Not inherently bad. No. There's nothing wrong with conservatism. Nothing. just They just made a pretty significant decision. Okay. They're going to be dropping transgender issues from their advocacy.
Speaker: They're essentially dropping the tea.
Speaker: Before we jump into what that means, I want to give you some history because this is where the story gets a little complicated. This is an organization that was funded in 1977, fighting against the law that would have banned gay people from teaching in California schools. They later took on the federal government over Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
Speaker: They went to court, fought it, and they won it. So these aren't people who don't understand what it means to be a group standing outside the circle asking to be let in. They added transgender rights to their mission in 2015.
Speaker: Now, 10 years later, they're saying they're no longer where they... That's no longer where they want to go. Their board president says the organization is going to going back to its roots as an LGB advocacy group, arguing that the transgender movement has moved into areas they can't support, particularly when it comes to minors and transgender athletes in women's sports.
Speaker: I'm going to give you guys more details, but I just wanted to give that little summary of the synopsis of this entire segment, because I got to rub my eyes, ladies and gentlemen, because this is before i befuddled.
Speaker: led astray. Yeah. Well, let me take a gander here. Oh, surprise, surprise. You pulled up the picture. LRC leadership. And wouldn't you know it, aside from one woman, it's all white men. And that is not surprising.
Speaker: Also, I notice, as soon as you log on to their website, which is logcabin.org, it is Trump right there on the front page. so i mean, they are Republicans, so... Yeah, no, I get that. But this is someone... the Trump administration is ah homophobic as well as transphobic. So...
Speaker: Yeah, here's here's what I think about this. I think that started with outstanding intentions.
Speaker: It evolved. It continued to evolve and support causes that supported just that civil and rights and equity for the LGBTQIA plus community.
Speaker: And then... ah they tripped up over their own feet. And I'm not 100% sure why. I'm sure you're going to probably tell me it definitely probably has something to do with the Trump administration. But it's giving target. It's giving kowtowing to the powers that be and in in the face of your own values and beliefs.
Speaker: Yes. Because what are you talking about? Well, ah well just just to put this out there, they say the members are still open. you know Membership is still open to trans people. That's what they say. Why would they join? Why would anybody? Yeah. And the group did endorse Trump in both 2020 and 2024. Not you could kind of say, ah.
Speaker: ah right twenty four Yeah, y'all saw that first term. it it even though you didn't support them for the first term, after the first term, you said, yeah, this is definitely somebody I'm going to support.
Speaker: So there's, there's, before we dig into it, cause you like, you're going to give me the reasons why, cause they were kind of vague. I had to dig deep. I had to dig deep because it was initial article that I got this from. And I was like, no, the article is being vague because the leader of the organization was being vague. So let's give it the backdrop, right? They're Trump supporters. Right.
Speaker: 2020, 2024. administration is doing right now. Two trans people, right? Trump administration that have cut federal fundings for minors and gender affirming care. Passports must now reflect sexist sex assigned at birth.
Speaker: Supreme Court upheld state bans on trans athletes and women's sports and new Medicaid limits on puberty blockers for the youth. So... When they said that the reason that they are backing off as trans is because the ideology has gone too far, trans ideology has not gone too far.
Speaker: No. It's pretty much stayed the same. Hey, we just want to be left alone to be able to live our lives. It's the administration that's attacked their very existence. So instead of saying the ideology has gone too far, just go out and say, you we ride with the president and we don't, they're not like us.
Speaker: And it goes to a bigger question that I've often had on this show and in private. We lump the LGBTQ plus community together as one monolith, right?
Speaker: We hate it as Black people when they lump us all in together to act like we're the same. And there's very distinct differences between each letter. Each letter represents a group. There could be some cross some crossing of the letters. A person could be more than one letter. but yeah But they're still their own individual groups. And this is also, I'm not defending them at all.
Speaker: This is also the reason why I think that Dave Chappelle has dug in. It's not about trans people attacking him. It's about the fact that he doesn't like how gay white men can hide behind the LGBTQ plus community, but but still uphold white supremacy. And this is a clear example of it. You want to fight for your cro causes and say, I'm a marginalized group.
Speaker: you want to fight for nobody else? So if that's going to be your situation, that's going to be the way that you handle your situation when you say, hey, listen to us because we're a marginalized group that we're being persecuted against, but you don't stand up for anybody else, I'm not going really rock for you.
Speaker: A case in point is Caitlyn Jenner. Caitlyn Jenner, yeah. that that Well, that's a person... It came out that was supposed to be this person that they held up on a pedestal. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: oh see, this is a former Olympian, Bruce Jenner, transitioned to Caitlyn Jenner. he would And won awards, became symbol.
Speaker: yeah Now openly attacking trans people. It be your own people. It be your be your own people. And really, you hit the nail on the head. It's not that the priorities of trans rights activists have changed. They haven't. They still Under the law, access to resources.
Speaker: Like, this it's the same same things. Same things they've wanted this entire time because they're still fighting to get these things, okay? What has changed is the conservative or rather, going to be honest, yet no, I'm going to say conservative. The conservative framing of trans rights ideology.
Speaker: That is what has changed. They're talking about what? ah Children. That's their go-to, right? Yes. You got to protect the kids, but at the meantime, they're not doing anything factually and policy and actual policy to protect kids they're doing yeah because this country this country doesn't care about kids now so they but i was talking more along the lines of trans kids like getting gender affirming care like there's this they act like kids are fully transitioning that's not happening
Speaker: There might be a few cases, but it's not a mass movement. I don't think that there are any minors in this country that fully transitioned. I wouldn't... yeah ah Fully physically transitioned? Yes.
Speaker: That had the surgery and everything? I want to agree with you, but I'm not sure. I don't know very many doctors who would recommend that to a minor. Any kind.
Speaker: can still go to Mexico and get that work done, which is what a lot of people did for decades. Yeah. So it's still possible. I'm not going to say it isn't happening, but what I can say with confidence, there's no mass movement of right minors have transitioning, including the surgery.
Speaker: Right. I don't think that there are very many trans athletes that are like, they act like trans folks in sports is like a huge, like ah it's it's taken over. Where?
Speaker: We just did the story that there are no trans athletes in the WNBA because you had stupid Enos Keaton, uh, Enos Tentna Freedom, whatever his name is, on Lauren Ingram's show. She's asking him, or have you transitioned? And he says, i identify as woman because he wants to make a ah joke of all of this in the WNBA.
Speaker: But they're theyre it's not a price it's not a thing. There isn't even a transgender woman in the Division I women's college basketball game.
Speaker: Right. It's not a thing. it's it's It is entirely a manufactured issue. These are manufactured issues. So that's why I'm saying it is the conservative framing of trans rights ideology and agendas. And then you also have to think you brought up another good point about how these are separate communities within this acronym, right?
Speaker: But even within these separate communities, there's still additional like deviation with intersectionality. So like take lesbians, for example, third wave feminism.
Speaker: came about because black women black queer women were like we're not being represented in current feminist ideology
Speaker: and it needs to be expanded to include the fact that we are simultaneously women black and queer and that it is a compounded effect of the And it results in a different lived experience that is just as valid and just as important and needs to be represented. So these gay men, ah the log cabin, whatever the hell. And whatever hell. And i I guess that is a reference to Abraham Lincoln. Yes, the log cabin Republicans.
Speaker: Okay. Go to hell. But also...
Speaker: But also, you, yes, it it very much can be your own people. We see that in a Black community. tim Scott. Tim, still... Clarence Thomas. I was just about to say Clarence Thomas. Byron Donalds. Hershel Walker. Like, we see it.
Speaker: Stephen Smith. In the Black... All of... The list goes on and on. it it you Listen, the list goes on and on. Not Steve Smith, ladies and gentlemen. in Stephen A. Smith, the ESPN yeah personality. Not to be confused with Steve Smith, the former NBA player, or the former NFL player.
Speaker: don't want no smoke from them, too. Especially Steve Smith, the former NFL player. I'm talking about Stephen A. Smith, the former journalist. A., the one whose hairline's allergic to his eyebrows. So we're...
Speaker: talking about we understand that that is possible possibility right we always say not all skin focus can vote so you have what i'm looking at their pictures then none of these guys look broke they all look like they're educated on this on this the lrc leadership and they are all a look you know above 30, 40 years old.
Speaker: And so they're of a certain generation, of a certain education class, of a certain economic status, and they are white men in America.
Speaker: So am I surprised that no No, i'm not. I'm not surprised that a group like this exists and is willing to turn its back on the most vulnerable in their community because I don't care what you say. Trans folks are a member of your community. And if you are not, said this All the time, anybody who listens to this show knows I say this all the time. If you are not taking care of the most vulnerable and marginalized folks in your community, then you're helping no one.
Speaker: And you're doing nothing. So it's been documented, COINTELPRO, which was originally a program used to...
Speaker: destroy white supremacy in the KKK in this country was then flipped on the Black Power Movement h by the FBI and J. Edgar Hoover.
Speaker: And what they did was is this this create tension within within these particular movements. The Black Panther Party, the Freedom Liberation Party. What's my man in Chicago? Is it fred ah ah is it move no no the guy that the guy in chicago that was part of the black panther movement but had spun off and was bringing in white people and latino people was really building a the first rainbow coalition
Speaker: And the FBI has been documented that they had a person infiltrate this Black Panther Party movement to destroy were're from within. And he was basically... Fred Hampton. Fred Hampton. So you got Fred Hampton. You got mega average on whether or not you want to say the FBI was involved in that, what have you. But the the point was to sow dissension, especially, and it goes all the way back to Bacon's Rebellion in the 1700s, where...
Speaker: the term white actually was originated. The the worst thing people in power want is for people that are not in power to join together to fight that power. They do not want us to mobilize, y'all. They don't want us to mobilize. So how do you destroy the LGBTQ plus community?
Speaker: You make them fight within themselves. Mm-hmm. gay men, gay white men, okay, this particular group, gay white men, why wouldn't they throw transgender people off the boat?
Speaker: Especially if they see that there's legislation coming that is anti-trans legislation. The next step
Speaker: is anti-gay legislation, bringing it all the way back, right? So how do you try to cut that off? Well, you try to cut that off by saving yourself.
Speaker: Can't be me, it's you. Hey, not everybody can fit on this boat. Yeah, not everybody can fit on this boat. You got to go. and And my question is, when you throw one group overboard as a way to save the boat, what does that teach everyone on the boat?
Speaker: That they could be next. That they could be next. So then you lose unity. You ultimately will lose the fight because the one that's in power has done what they wanted to do. Divide and conquer. So these are classic destabilization techniques. And y'all keep falling for it every damn time.
Speaker: Every time. They create a black sheep. They create a scapegoat. They create a boogeyman. And then they start to frame them, that community or organization or what have you, because it could be anything. They start to frame them as the villain.
Speaker: You saw it with black power and black right civil rights groups in the 40s, 50s, 60s, right? 70s. You saw it then. You're seeing it now. You're going to keep... they Hell, they're even doing it, honestly.
Speaker: i'm seeing it in the Latino community, right? What do they do? They make Mexican people the scapegoats of black sheep's Not just Mexican Venezuelans, anything. It's respectability politics, right? It's distancing yourself from the least accepted member of your particular group to protect your seat next to power, right? And and we said it earlier when we were throwing out Byron Donalds and Tim Scott and Clarence Thomas that throwing out...
Speaker: Black people to say, I'm not like them. Yeah. I'm different. don't Don't put me, don't associate me with them. And yes, it's a divide and conquer by those in power to make sure that they stay in power. And when I was bringing up the Bacon Rebellion, it was Black slaves, indentured servants who were Irish, had banded together to overthrow this plantation.
Speaker: rich owner. And so the rich people who are all white said they got together and was like, ah how how do we make sure this never happens again? Well, one, let's get rid of indenture servitude.
Speaker: Let's make it so that white men can have land and let's say what a white man is. Right? yeah Because a white man had not been a... stat There was nobody that said, I'm a white man beforehand. You said you French, you British, you Spanish, what have you. Right. it was Race is a...
Speaker: It is a social construct, and it is very much an American social construct that has spread globally. Right. And so me being a historian, I'm like, I see things repeating itself over and over and over and over and over again. Right. Like it's the same story. And this is no different.
Speaker: This is no different. And actually, it's not surprising because when I first read the article, I was like, yeah, even though they're conservative Republicans, they're gay. I don't understand why they would do this. And as I dug deeper, I was like, oh, no, this, I see the pattern of how you get here. Right. And what it is is is, you ain't down for no cause but yourself.
Speaker: That's it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of inherent in human nature. i feel like just because of who they are sexually attracted to does not mean that they are down for liberation. That does not mean that they're down for the cause.
Speaker: That who they are sexually attracted to has no bearing on their political or ah social cultural affiliations because the fact of the matter is there's still white men operating in America.
Speaker: And so your sexuality, nine times out of 10, I'm looking at this board, the sexuality is not visible, right? What you see first is a white man.
Speaker: And so they're still moving through the world as a white man of a social of a certain economic, political, social status.
Speaker: And that confers... specific privileges over other people. They are still recipients of white privilege. They are still recipients of the privilege that comes with the patriarchy.
Speaker: They're still recipients of economic and educational privilege. They don't have a problem finding a job. They don't have a problem finding a doctor willing to treat them. They don't have a problem finding housing.
Speaker: Adequate housing, safe housing. They don't have these problems. And because so so because this is not their lived experience, they can't even identify with the problems and the issues, the inequities that are facing the trans community.
Speaker: They have no concept of it. In the same way that early feminists... white female feminists. I remember and in a college course, we read The Feminine Mystique.
Speaker: And everybody has so much to say by Betty Friedan. Everybody has so much to say in our class about how this resonates with them and and with their family history and things. And these white women. And here, my black behind is, and I was like, this book does not represent the Black woman's experience in America, because y'all are crying about being relegated to the home, we were, it was against the law for us to be housewives.
Speaker: Black women have always been working outside of the home. So it's it's the same kind of dynamics at play. If you are not willing to step outside of yourself, right?
Speaker: to see what could what could be affecting the most vulnerable in your community and work towards advocating for them.
Speaker: if you're not willing to do that, if only your self-interest is important to you, then you will never really be free.
Speaker: You'll never really get to where you're going because as long as they keep, sorry, apologize, pardon my French, as long as they keep shitting on members of your community, you are never going to get free.
Speaker: Okay, Jay, I came across something that's interesting. Another article. i don't know how this segment is going to go. out I tend to like to end on a high note, but I'm going to little vulnerable.
Speaker: going to be a little vulnerable. And I read this article. in the Huffington Post by Julian Wilson. And it is therapists say these six common habits are fueling your anxiety. I'm only going focus on four.
Speaker: Oh, boy. I'm going to focus on four. But i have open, I've been open about my anxiety. have it all the time. Sometimes i have anxiety because I know I'm supposed to be having anxiety about something.
Speaker: Yes. You ever just been sitting down, just been free? And you'd be like, nope. Nope. I forgot there was something going on I'm supposed to be remembering. yeah And that's giving me anxiety. Oh, there it is. Here comes the double anxiety. What am going to do?
Speaker: Yes. Yes. I, too, also generalized anxiety ah is a diagnosis that I've received many times. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. The first thing that the therapists say that leads to your own anxiety, we talked about in the previous segment, it be your own people. Guess what? Sometimes it be you to be your own worst enemy. And yeah number one is avoidance.
Speaker: boy And it's the worst offender. youma that the That email that will literally take you two minutes to send. And boy, you just can't do it. You don't want to do it. You don't want to deal with it.
Speaker: ah But it's always looming. Mm-hmm. And that dark cloud is always behind you of that thing that you're avoiding. And that, yes, absolutely. Sometimes it don't be sending the email. Sometimes it's like, I know I need to read this email.
Speaker: I don't want to read this email. I don't want to read this text message. I got a message. I don't want respond back to this phone call. I do not open my mail. yeah you Oh, du I don't go to the mailbox. You die. That's the thing.
Speaker: And then the dread just grows in the dark. ah the and You know another one? What's that? Not opening that banking app. good Boy.
Speaker: I will just spend the money until the decline comes back. i don't want to know. i don't want to know that I don't have no money.
Speaker: don't want to know. If I don't look, it then i I still could have money. Well, this is a thing. This is what they say, that that overall dread costs more...
Speaker: than the action actually does most of the time. Yeah, yeah. It is the anxiety of not opening the email, not opening that backing app, or you're avoiding anything.
Speaker: The phone call you got to make that you don't want to make. How many times have we been out there dreading something? We do and be like, oh, that wasn't that bad. Yes. It literally, I would say, nine times out of ten. Nine times, definitely. Nine times out of ten, it is never as dreadful as I think it's going to be. Nine times out of ten.
Speaker: Number two on the list, and this is important, oh negative self-talk. You are brutal to yourself. you You would never talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself at 2 a.m. or when you're in the shower arguing with yourself like the night before you go to bed.
Speaker: Yeah. Another thing that I found to be true is that with the negative self-talk, when you really start to interrogate it and analyze it, you realize it's not even in your own voice.
Speaker: It's something you heard about you that you internalized and repeated. And you were like, I don't even really feel this way about myself. Where did this come from? Oh, im not when you're saying your voice, because in my head is my voice talking to me. But you're saying that these negative self-talks sometimes is not in your actual voice. Like if you actually listen to it You'd be like, no, that's what that person said about me. That's not what I think about myself.
Speaker: Yes. I never thought about that. I need to pay more attention anytime I do some negative self-talk. people think oh yeah People think I'm the most positive person in the world. All of my clients and anybody that i work with, anybody that's hired me for a consultant or anything like that, I'm the most positive person When you hire me, you can do anything. i am your biggest cheerleader. And they say, wow, you just must be bigging up yourself. I say, no. I am my biggest critic. What do I say after at the end of every show after we record it?
Speaker: After every single show, you go, don't know about that. it one Every show. And I'm like, that was a good show. yeah i I don't know about that. The shows by myself, I would finish them and it would be even worse because I know that the best part of the show and you doing together is you. You're the star. I get it. I'm okay. I'm the setup man. You Carl Malone. I'm John Stockton. I it hate to call you Carl Malone and at everything that he's all done, but that's that's who I am. I'm cool. You, Michael Jordan, I'm Scottie Pippen. I'm okay with that.
Speaker: Like, I don't need to be the star. Yeah. But when I was doing the shows by myself, I was like, these suck. And it was the audience. It was people that were listening.
Speaker: that were like, hey, you haven't done shows by yourself in a while. You gonna go back to those? Because it's a different tone to what I'm doing yeah by myself than when I'm doing it with you. And I was like, you like those? I thought they sucked. And like, no, we really like and We watched them and listened to them just as much as we do with your sister or your interviews. i was like, well, okay. and And then when you get that praise...
Speaker: You can't even accept it. No, I can't. Because you've told yourself you suck for so long that when people compliment you, you'd be like, no I can't even tell myself. I'll go back and listen to it every now and then and be like, that show was good. Let me go back and listen to a couple of parts. be it is good. And then two minutes later, they' be like, man, them shows suck. It's negative self-talk that leads to your anxiety. And then the reason why I'm opening up and being vulnerable, because i ain't the only one out here.
Speaker: no I'm not the only one. This is a common occurrence. Everybody does it. Even narcissists will talk bad about themselves internally. So we got to stop it.
Speaker: You got to stop it. This is another one that I do. Number three. People pleasing. Saying yes while dying inside. Putting everybody first until there is no one. There is no you left.
Speaker: Yeah, you don't have... at So this I definitely used to do. I used to be a people pleaser. i used to be in a a full-on enabler. But what I really, and this is like a common euphemism, but I really, really live by it is that you can't fill from an empty cup.
Speaker: So if I'm giving everything to everybody else, I don't have anything left for me. And I also don't have anything left free for y'all. I have to make sure I'm good first. And sometimes that means I say, nah, nah, friend, can't make it.
Speaker: Nope, can't do that. Sorry, I'm at capacity. That's why i say it work. yeah ah I don't have capacity to do this. I've gotten better at that recently. In my older age, it's lot of easier for me to say no.
Speaker: lot easier for me to say no. But that's something that I've been... That I've done, and and you've called me out on it and be like, I know sometimes. Yeah. You don't want to do that. Why are you doing it? Because i don't ever want to do nothing.
Speaker: All right. Number four and the final one that we're going to talk about today is seeking reassurance. Mm-hmm. Right? Googling that one headache, diagnosing it yourself, and you got three weeks to live.
Speaker: yeah Talking about a group chat. Talking in a group chat. Asking people for reassurance. Now, I don't really do that. I don't do that either. But I know people out there that do. And they need reassurance from others.
Speaker: Yes. You have to validate that. And even when you give them that validation, they still don't do the thing. And it's just like, well, what did I bother reassuring you for? Mm-hmm.
Speaker: If you're going to still be worried about it. No, that is not one that I suffer from. I've never needed anybody to pat me on the back. I'm pretty good at doing that myself. And i also don't need anybody to i really run my ideas past people. I pretty much just do whatever pops in my head.
Speaker: But that's the Leo in me. And I am also impulsive. Yeah. Well, there you go. yeah So that was just four out of six because I just wanted to focus on those four. But I'm also going to give you some fixes that were also in the articles.
Speaker: One of them is grounding. Right? Very important. things that you can do that's very simple. And they always help me. Go for a walk. Yes. Yes.
Speaker: Go work out. Now, some people be like, go work out. Yes. i If I don't work out, my anxiety is through the roof. Like today, all I did was do a little walk because I hurt my back in the gym earlier today because there was a mouse that ran across the floor and me and my client freaked out. It was a little baby mouse too. I've never seen a mouse the size of a...
Speaker: cockroach that's all it was but it ran across the floor and I was holding the kettlebell and messed up my back so i couldn't do my workout today so I did a little walk but that's not good enough for me I normally do a workout and then do a walk later but grounding yourself bring down that yeah heart rate bring it down I know people stay working out bring it up but bringing down it's coming down it's energy you need that Because anxious people live with a heightened central nervous system, right? We live in fight or flight mode and you have, you cannot stay in fight or flight mode.
Speaker: You cannot stay in that heightened state. You have to come back down. It's not sustainable. So go outside, touch some grass, get some vitamin D. Yeah.
Speaker: you you you you took You took the next thing out of my mouth. and Use your five senses. Go touch, sight, smell, sound. Get present. Yes. Get present. Yes. For avoidance, go small.
Speaker: You got that party? That's typically me. You got that party that you don't want to go to? Go for 10 minutes and then leave. Mm-hmm. Just pop He got to stay all night. Now, typically what happens to me is somebody's like, here's a drink.
Speaker: And then once I have one or two drinks, Bruce is open. Yeah. Right? Bruce is open. It's time to party. You find once you start the thing, it's actually not that difficult to stay yeah or to finish it.
Speaker: Yeah. Bank the win. Tell your brain, we did the hard thing and we survived. Yeah. So... Very often, create these ridiculous things that I want to do. They go full bore in it.
Speaker: And then get overwhelmed because I'm like, I put a lot on my plate. Yeah. And I don't celebrate the victories when I get the victories. It's on to the next thing.
Speaker: Yeah. Sometimes you got to take a deep breath and just be like, yo, I did that. And it's part of being present, right, right is celebrating those those wins, even if they're small.
Speaker: my My small win is I did my laundry. Everybody knows how hard it it is to do that laundry. I mean, fully do it, not just wash it and put it in a dryer, but actually fold the clothes, oh yeah hang them up, put them away, like actually doing your laundry. that's That, to me, it seems like a small win. It's not. It's a big one. And you got like, hey, I did that.
Speaker: Yeah. Go me. The full, look, right now, I dried some clothes. I took the clothes out of the dryer, and it was two loads in the dryer. I didn't dry them at the same time.
Speaker: I dried a load while another one was drying, and instead of and putting away, I put both loads in the dryer just to hold them there. Okay. Okay. Then I had to do another load.
Speaker: So I took them out the dryer when I needed to dry the load. So that that third load is dry. But guess what I'm to tonight? Put them back in the dryer. Everything is going to smush in the dryer because I'm not going to fold and put it away. But but you know what?
Speaker: The clothes is washed. And that's a small victory. And they wrinkled as hell. Yeah, well, you know, I don't mind that. ah But... The most important thing, and I have to say this plainly and with full vigor, if this anxiety is constant, go see a therapist.
Speaker: Yes. You need to talk to somebody. You yeah need help. Yes. We've seen therapists. We've seen therapists. Yeah. You got to go to therapy. Therapy is for everybody. You'll be like, don't talk to nobody. You need to talk to somebody. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health.
Speaker: Yes. People don't understand. Either they don't know, don't show, or don't care what's going on in their own body. Yeah. All right, Jay. What do you want to tell these people before we get out of here?
Speaker: ha Take care of yourselves, man, because it's crazy out here. And rest in power, Dolly. We love you. Rest in power. For me, with everything that we talked about today, I keep coming back to this idea of legacy.
Speaker: I stated that at the top, I often talk about legacy, I'm gonna get even deeper into it this time. We talked about Dolly Parton, somebody who gave away books, money, opportunity, and time.
Speaker: We talked about Kwanzaa Jones, who just became the first black woman to be a majority owner in Major League Baseball. We talked about people fighting for their place, fighting for their beliefs, and sometimes deciding who they are and what they're willing to stand for.
Speaker: And then we talked about anxiety. All the ways that we can get trapped inside of our own heads trying to control the things that we really can't control. And that's where I think all of this kind of connects to me.
Speaker: Because I think we have a funny relationship with the word legacy. We talk about legacy like it's something that you build on purpose. Like you get to decide, this is how I want people to remember me.
Speaker: But you don't. You can spend your entire life trying to be remembered a certain way, but your legacy isn't actually yours. It's how other people remember you. And people are going to remember you based on their experiences with you.
Speaker: Some people are going to remember the good. Some people are going to remember the bad. Some are going to remember something that you did that you don't even remember doing. Somebody might think you were one of the most important people that they ever met.
Speaker: And somebody else might tell a completely different story. And you don't get to control either one. So the question becomes, Does it matter?
Speaker: Does it really matter how people remember you if you're not living authentically while you're here? Because Dolly could have spent all of her time worrying about what people thought about Dolly Parton.
Speaker: Instead, she did what she believed in. She put money behind causes she cared about. She gave children books. She helped people in her community. And whether you agree with every decision she ever made or not, she lived according to what mattered to her.
Speaker: i think that's the part we can all take from from this. Sometimes living authentically means fighting for a cause. Sometimes it means putting your money behind something you believe in. Sometimes it means opening a door for somebody else.
Speaker: And sometimes it means doing something for yourself. And that last one often gets overlooked because we're so concerned with being good for everybody else that sometimes we forget we're supposed to actually live our own lives.
Speaker: You can't control how people perceive you. You can't control whether somebody misunderstands you. You can't control whether somebody takes something you did with good intentions and tells a completely different story about it.
Speaker: You can't even control how people are going to remember you You're gone. But you can't control whether you were honest with yourself while you were here. You can't control whether you stood up for what you believed in.
Speaker: You can't control whether you treated people with respect. You can't control whether you spent your life chasing somebody else's definition of success or yours. And that's why I keep thinking about Kwanzaa Jones, because becoming the first Black woman to do something is historic.
Speaker: But eventually, somebody else is going to come along and break that record. The money will change. The headlines will disappear. Somebody else will become the next first.
Speaker: But what you did with the opportunity while you had it, that's the part you actually get to own. And even with conversations about log cabin Republicans that got really complicated because of what they believe in.
Speaker: Everybody wants to be remembered for standing up for something, but eventually you have to actually stand somewhere. And sometimes standing for what you believe means standing there when it's uncomfortable.
Speaker: Sometimes it means being unpopular. Sometimes it means people don't understand you. And sometimes it means accepting that you might not be remembered the way you want to be remembered.
Speaker: That's the price of being authentic. None of us gets to choose our legacy. We can only live and we can only make our choices. We can only try to do right by others and hopefully do right by people that are that we encounter along the way.
Speaker: The rest, that's out of our hands. And maybe that's okay because if you spend your entire life trying to control how people remember you, you might miss the opportunity to actually live the life that will get you remembered.
Speaker: And that's the uncomfortable part people don't want to talk about. free read a moment Your legacy isn't yours to control. same Your life is. So live like it belongs to you. Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank you for listening.
Speaker: I want to thank you for watching. And until next time, as always, I'll holler.
Speaker: That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now, before you go, don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, comment, and share our podcast wherever you're listening or watching it to it. Pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock will will enjoy it also. So share the wealth, share the knowledge, share the noise.
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Speaker: Thank you. Thank you for listening and watching and supporting us. And I'll catch you next time. Audi 5000. Peace.
