Transcript
Speaker: We went on vacation, came back with stories. Turns out some institutions been on vacation too. We gonna get into it. Let's get it.
Speaker: Welcome. First of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. i am your host, Bruce Anthony, here to lead the conversation in important events and topics that are shaping today's society. stay Join the conversation to follow us wherever you get your audio podcasts. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcasts, YouTube exclusive content, and our YouTube membership.
Speaker: Rate, review, like, comment, share. Share with your friends, share with your family, hell, even share with your enemies. On today's episode, this is Sibling Happy Hour. I'm here with my sis, Jay Andre. We're going to be dilly-dadding a little bit about our vacation. Then we're going to be talking about the Cornell fraternity case. Everybody has been talking about that. And then we're going get into our uncle on vacation. But that's is enough of the intro.
Speaker: Let's get to the show.
Speaker: What up, sis? What up, brother? How you feeling? I mean, I can't call it and can call it at the same damn time because we went on vacation and as soon as I got back from vacation, I got sick.
Speaker: It is what it is, I guess. It happens. I mean, we're on a boat full of people then get on a plane full of people. Like, it's...
Speaker: It happens. It's been happening actually a lot. i don't I'm not somebody who really gets sick a lot, but recently I've been getting sick a lot. When I do things out of my norm, like I go to the gym every day, so I'm around people every day, right? Like i yeah I'm literally around people every day. But the last time I got sick was Cinco de Mayo, which was a huge celebration. And then couple of days later I was sick.
Speaker: So maybe it's a sign of age that I can't do it like I used to. Cause I, on this vacation, i really got my drinking in. like Yeah, you did. You had a quota that you wanted to hit every day and you hit it.
Speaker: Or like a but like a bar or like there was like a goal. don't really think I set a goal. I think i had... I think ah you might have done it unconsciously to make buying the drink package worth it.
Speaker: Okay. Okay. you said, like, hey, I'm going to make sure that this is worth it on a daily basis. ah Maybe. But here's the thing.
Speaker: After about five drinks, the drink package paid for itself. Yes. So... And I realized that on the first day. But that wasn't going stop me.
Speaker: Because I never was hungover. Never. Never was stupidly drunk either. Just buzzed the whole time. Buzzed and sunburnt.
Speaker: Buzzed and sunburnt. Yes. Your first experience was sunburning, I believe. i I think I, no, I had sunburned. Sunburnt? Sunburned? I burnt my lips one time.
Speaker: Oh, okay. Yes. People sometimes forget that your lips are the your lips and like your under eyes, some of the thinnest and like most sensitive skin on your body, and that you have to use s SPF on that.
Speaker: A lot of people forget their lips. So, ladies and gentlemen, if y'all didn't know, I don't know how you wouldn't know if you've been paying attention to the show. We were on a vacation. It was a cruise. It was a family cruise. It was 14 of us.
Speaker: And we're going to get into our uncle in the and it' in the third segment. He's going to hate us. Yeah. No, look, let me tell you something. My uncle did some stuff on this vacation. And and i I told him, I was like, no, this is going on the show. And he kept trying to reason with me to say, hey, tell my story. And I said, no, I'm going to tell the story. I'm going to tell the story. Yes.
Speaker: The story. And we're going get into that in the third segment. But I just want to talk about how we we were sunburning, right? yeah Like, this is a serious thing.
Speaker: And yeah so it was a cumulative thing over to the couple of days that we were there. And then it just culminated in one day where...
Speaker: We had all these cabanas. We're in Turks and Caicos. We are living it up. And I'm like, I don't know what's going on, but my whole face feels like it's on fire. And then first y'all tell me to, to okay, rinse off with cold water and then put on some sunscreen. And I'm like, it's burning. And then they're all like, oh, no, no, you sunburn. And I didn't yeah just sunburn my neck.
Speaker: I did my face and my head because I'm bald-headed. And I didn't know, personally, I didn't know that you have to re you have to keep reapplying sunscreen.
Speaker: Yeah, it's all the directions. ah Well, no, okay. Well, I don't... Well... I don't read the directions. I know you don't. I know you don't. yeah And I didn't put any sunscreen on top of my head. Ladies gentlemen, I have a bald head. If you don't, and if you can't see, if you only listen to audio, I have a bald head and I sweat a lot.
Speaker: And so I would get off the ship and within the first 10 minutes of just walking outside of this, Caribbean area that just feels like it's a constant sauna.
Speaker: Yeah. I'm sweating off the suntan lotion or the sunscreen anyway. And so I just burnt the hell out of myself. Yeah. Yeah, a hat. Like, i think you, in really sunny weather, i know I know you noticed our father always had a hat on to protect the top of his head. So, you yeah, I would invest, if you're going to be out in the summertime, go and invest in that bucket hat, you know?
Speaker: You know why i don't like wearing hats? Why? Because women say that it could be hat fishing. Yeah, but, like, What do you want me to do? Burn the top of my head so that you won't think I'm hat fishing? Like, at ma'am, nobody cares about you that much.
Speaker: I mean, I really, truly, truly don't. Yeah, nobody cares about you that much, ma'am. Nobody's hat fishing. I'm just trying to protect my skull and the skin that is upon it. Yeah, well, I'm finally back to normal. I'm still got my tan, which I'm happy about. Yeah, as as you can see, for anybody watching the YouTube channel,
Speaker: I got nothing. yeah Nothing happened. You can go ahead and compare the video to we shot before the trip to this one, and you will see.
Speaker: Nothing happened. Nothing. Not a speck of darker melanin anywhere. And I was outside. It wasn't like I wasn't outside. i was outside walking around. We walked around Puerto Plata and Dominican Republic. We walked around. I was outside. I was outside in Grand Bahama. I was outside.
Speaker: And i nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. You got a little bit of a tent. A little bit. Wow. This is the same sugar cookie that I've always been. Look, it is amazing the offspring that two people can have because you, me, and our brother. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: tan completely differently and it takes nothing for me I can walk outside I can literally go for a walk in DC and the sun is shining and my friend will see me the next day and i was like oh you got some color I can see you you got darker and that's all it takes for me yeah it was so bad for me that when we were in, think, the Dominican... or no No, no, no, no, no. It was in Turks and Caicos. Because it felt like Turks and Caicos, the sun was literally right there, right above my head.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah. i had my slides on. And by the time I got back to the ship, got my ring, I took my took my slides off. I was like, oh, my God, there is a line on my foot.
Speaker: yeah And it looks like the black and white cookie. It literally looked like the black and white cookie. Our brother can be outside two minutes. Two minutes.
Speaker: And he's tan. And you'll see the line of his sunglasses ah on the side of his face. And thes just the outline of his sunglasses. Me, I can be out there 40 and 40 nights.
Speaker: Not 40 days and 40 nights. Okay. And it's nada. Nothing. So. What were some of the things that you really enjoyed on our trip?
Speaker: I had a ball. Like, honestly, I really did have a blast. It was like the perfect mix of like. like spending time together and and shenanigans. Like it was it was perfect. It was absolutely perfect. Some of the things that really stand out was getting to spend like quality time with our aunt and and really getting like quality time with our cousins, which we don't get to see as often as as I would like. So really for me was the individual time that I got with people, you know, Me and Pop, we ain't miss breakfast in the morning. You know, just getting up every day. Yeah, just getting up every day and having breakfast with Pop was like, it was great. I had i had so much fun on that trip.
Speaker: I didn't join y'all not one time. Me and our and our cousin did not join y'all one time because we wasn't getting out the bed till 9.30 because we wasn't going to bed until at least 1.30 or 2. And shout out to our dad because I don't know how he would stay up Yeah.
Speaker: Do the late night meal. Because he was at the late night. Something that our father was going to do was going to make sure that he was going to eat. So he ate the breakfast. yeah yeah He ate the second breakfast, the lunch, the dinner.
Speaker: And the late night menu, which didn't happen until midnight, and would get up in the morning and eat breakfast. And you would send us a text at 7.30 in the morning. I didn't get it until 9, 9.30. And I knew that, but I was just going put that out there anyway. i was just yeah It probably would have been better the night before. i probably wasn't going to get up anyway. but You wasn't going to get up anyway. I was putting that out there just to say that I extended the invitation. But knowing full well y'all were asleep. So it was invitation. Okay. No, it was definitely real, but all I also know it will be ignored. So then is it real if you know it's going to be ignored?
Speaker: Yes, it is. Because the intention behind it is still to invite you to breakfast, even though I know it's going to be ignored. I don't know if it was ignored. It wasn't seen.
Speaker: And then when it was seen, it was... Yeah. Yeah, I know y'all all are just coming back from breakfast because I'm just getting up. But me and our cousin would hit the gym every morning. yes We was in there hitting the gym. So I do love the fact that I got to hang out with some family members that, one, I...
Speaker: Some of them I hadn't met before. Yeah. or and Or haven't seen since they were very small children. Exactly. And so got a chance to rap to them and get to know them, and that was dope. And then it just also spending but me and our cousin, our cousin that lives right up the road from from me, spent a lot of time together. Yeah. just getting to spend that time with him,
Speaker: was dope Me and you didn't get a lot of a alone time, but we did get the best alone time at the start of the vacation. Because when it was all finally said and done and everybody was arriving, it was me and you in Miami first. And we went to this brunch spot and had the time of our life.
Speaker: Yes, if anybody is ever in Miami, it's a wonderful place called Sola. And it yeah entertaining, great service, great food, and really, really cool vibe. And ah we ah we actually had amazing service. I feel like this whole trip we had amazing service. And the thing of it is, is both you and I both come from the restaurant industry, so we understand we're being upselled.
Speaker: Right. We can spot it a mile away, but they were doing it so well that it was just like, all right, I'm gonna let you do it Honestly, gonna let you bring that extra bottle. I'm gonna let you offer me these shots because I know what you're doing, but you're doing it so well. gonna let you do it. You know, yeah I forget forgot that we took shots at that brunch place.
Speaker: Because we had such a good time at the brunch place, but but my pet peeve with you on this trip was your unwillingness to go for a simple walk.
Speaker: No, no. Here's the thing. Or to take some stairs. No, I'm not going to do it. I'm on vacation. That don't make no sense. Yeah, I'm on vacation, which means I am going to do whatever I have to do to achieve my highest comfort. And that includes not walking or taking steps. If I was not on vacation...
Speaker: I walk, I take steps everywhere. Like, that's, I do. I do. I'm not arguing that. I'm just saying I don't understand what difference is with you on vacation. I'm going to, first of all, I was sweating profusely From the moment I landed in Miami, okay? So that's number one. It was so bad that our first night on the boat, I got so dehydrated that I was dizzy. I had to go back to the room and lay down. And then that's when I realized, you've been sweating profusely for two days and have not been drinking water. That my muscles started to lock up. Also, we gonna get back to that. But also, I just want to bring out the fact that the captain...
Speaker: had his foot on the pedal on the ship. Yes. A lot. It was like, oh, we late. We got to speed got to make up the time. We ain't got to make up the time. We cool, man. You ain't got to rush, but go ahead.
Speaker: No. They had port times, and they were going to make them port times, and that means putting the pedal to the metal while we all supposed to be asleep, but none of us were. i thought the ship was supposed to cruise. We on a speedboat.
Speaker: We was on speedboat. And that bad boy, I had, I just got over my land sickness. So it is a condition where your body still feels like it's on the boat, meaning the floor is moving, even though I'm on solid ground. So I just got over that because that boat was moving. That boat was moving. Yeah. That boat was moving and it was bouncing. I was like, oh, we gonna make it to port on time. like It was so many times I had to double check. I'm like, look, am i really, really drunk right now?
Speaker: Or is the ship moving really fast? And then I would go out on my balcony and look. And I was like, no, the ship is moving. That water rushing past. We was on Sonny Crockett and Ricardo Tubbs' speedboat from Miami Vice. That bad boy. I was like, I never knew a cruise ship could move that fast.
Speaker: Hey, it was moving and grooving because we made it to port on time every single day. We didn't miss a day. And so that, hey, the captain got us where we needed to go. And that was that. So I had a really good time. But no, I'm not going to walk.
Speaker: in in Miami, in the absurd humidity of Miami. And he, even the hotel staff was like, the Airbnb staff was like, don't walk out there.
Speaker: hit Look. Don't it. Okay. When I landed, i asked her, I was like, hey, do you know of a nice brunch spot? I've got like four hours to kill. And she was like, yeah, we have an agreement. you Just go here. And I was like, okay, how far is it? And she was like, it's about a mile.
Speaker: Now, you have to understand, for me, because D.C. is humid, right? Yes, yes. For me, I walk three miles a day just on my leisure almost every day.
Speaker: I have a little circuit. In D.C. humidity, I'm not tripping off of a mile. but I was like, oh, i could probably walk. She was like, I wouldn't suggest that. Take the trolley. She's like, cross the street. Don't go to that stop. Go down one block and take that trolley. Take that stop.
Speaker: I said, okay. I got walked out there. I was like, I'm just gonna go ahead and walk. I crossed the street. And was like, oh, there you the first stop. Nope, got to go a block. By the time I took 10 steps and the sweat was pouring down my bald head, yeah I said, oh, she's right. I'm just going to take this trolley. yeah And then I got on the trolley and realized how far the Miami blocks were.
Speaker: they not short they not not shorts They're not They're not short blocks. It was hot. And we decided after drinking and being in that heat to walk to Target. Or I forced you to.
Speaker: You forced me to because i made sure... that you heard about it every step of the way because you acted like the target was right there. and the Okay, so for the audience, for the audience, Black people's measurements of distance, time, things like that, don't have like hard and fast definitions. But we have something called right there.
Speaker: right yeah it's Right there. Right there. It's right there. So, right there or right over there, or it's right around the corner, it's right around the block. That, to me, means it's right there.
Speaker: right Like, it's not far. That's what I'm thinking. When we get to walking... It is, in fact, not right there.
Speaker: It's actually over there. Right. but I signed up for a right there walk, not an over there walk. yeah So I complained the whole way and it was sun the whole way. Like I think we got a few pockets of shade, but it was sun the whole way. i I'm personally, i don't dislike Miami. I like, it's fine. That's not what you said. Go ahead be truthful and say what you were saying on the trip. You said you hate Miami.
Speaker: I do. I hate Miami weather. hate Miami mosquitoes. I don't hate the people of Miami. I don't hate, like, the restaurants, all that stuff. No, I had some delicious snapper. i had some... I had delicious drinks. That's not the problem. The problem is, one, y'all trolley systems suck.
Speaker: I tried four different trolleys. The trolley system doesn't And no trolley was going where I needed it to go. the trolley system in South Beach does not suck. You don't know what you're doing.
Speaker: Because you told me that you got the trolley at the station, she told me specifically not to go to and to go to the next one. She didn't give me the same direction she gave you. well She said across the street.
Speaker: and it Well, it was across the street. Yes. And it was in front of the convention center. But the state the station that you went to wasn't in front of the convention center. It was in front of one of the sides of the convention center. I don't know. well Yes, it was. If it was on this side, I needed to be on this side. So that's I was on wrong side. It was a block away from the convention center.
Speaker: That's in front. again but Again, Black people don't, we don't measure things the same way. To me, if it's adjacent, abutting, near anything, that's in front. Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, my goodness. I didn't get the same directions, okay? So the trolley system sucked. The weather is abysmal. The mosquitoes are terrible. And then worst airport in the country. Why don't y'all terminals connect?
Speaker: Look, you went to Miami International. I went to Fort Lauderdale. I didn't have no, we didn't have, me and our cousin didn't have no problems. I had to go through security three times because the terminals don't connect.
Speaker: Wait a minute, what? Yes. i So we come in we see the terminal, it says TSA pre-check, we go through it, and then we're like, okay, how we how do we get to terminal H? We were in terminal like ah B or something. They were like, oh, the terminals don't connect.
Speaker: So you got to come back out, walk down to Terminal H and go through that security. So we did trying to get to the Delta Sky Lounge so we can get, ah you know, some of them perks. Well, I'm not flying on a Delta flight. So they didn't let me in. So I had to come back out.
Speaker: All right, know I seem excited about that, and I didn't mean to come out and be excited about that, but it was the fact that y'all screwed up my plans after we had set plans, and y'all just came out and just said, with this is what we're going to do, and to come to find out it didn't come to fruition? No.
Speaker: At all. And then so I had to come back out, go to my terminal, and go back through security a third time, which is like, you're just asking for trouble. Luckily, nothing happened. But it's like, if you got to go, that they're going to find something you got to go through three times. They're going to find something. They're going to find something. Luckily, it was fine. But no, let me tell you, when we started to debark,
Speaker: and I felt that Miami suffocating humidity, I didn't want to do anything but be back in Atlanta. I didn't even want to go to the airport. I didn't want to wait for it. I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to be back in Atlanta. No, I get it.
Speaker: I get it. yeah Look, I didn't want to be back in D.C. because when we landed back in D.C., I looked at my cousin and I was like, yo, it feels different. And he was like, yeah. He's like, I travel all the time. It's even worse at nighttime. Look, there's just this dread that just comes over when you enter DC. This is an abyss. I ah love the surrounding areas, but when you get close to the action, which is where I'm at,
Speaker: It's an abyss. Yeah. It is just a horrible place to be. I love D.C., don't at the same time. Yeah. But anyway, look, I didn't get a chance to go to the Clevelander. I really wanted to go to the Clevelander.
Speaker: I just forgot. We could have done it who after brunch, we didn't. People was arriving. Things was happening. We could have done it the next morning before we got on the ship, but we were so excited to get on the ship. There's more shenanigans from the trip that we will probably get into later times as as we dilly-daddily in future episodes.
Speaker: But we got to get real for a second. yeah And we got to talk about this Cornell situation. We can't ignore ignore what's going on because it blew up even more. or We were on vacation and we're going to get into all of that next.
Speaker: Jay, two years ago, a 20-year-old Cornell student walked into the fraternity house to meet a friend. She says she walked out hours later, having been drugged and graped by seven members of that fraternity. She went to campus police.
Speaker: The school ran its own process and the district attorney decided there was no crime to charge. Case closed. Until last month when she filed a 101 page lawsuit, a student newspaper published seven names and the whole country started asking how this ever allowed to disappear.
Speaker: Now the governor has pulled the local DA off the case and the state attorney general is running the investigation. And students are in the streets calling for the president and the Ivy League school to resign.
Speaker: The president of the Ivy League school to resign. Nobody has yet been charged. The accused denied everything. And we must remain with the fact that they are accused.
Speaker: We have to emphasize that they are accused. But here's what I keep coming back to. This isn't just a story about seven men. It's a story about every single person and every single system that had a chance to do something and didn't. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I'm not going to get into super, super details about what happened because you would have to be living underneath the rock to not understand the details. And some of the details are so, so graphic.
Speaker: I actually don't.
Speaker: I actually don't want to discuss the details. That's not the overall point I want to make when having this discussion.
Speaker: The discussion I want to have is discussion around it. Yeah. Because I saw a statistic. And it was mindbo now mind-boggling. And I wish I had it in front of me, and I don't.
Speaker: But here's the paraphrase of of the statistic. Most men are afraid of this themselves. I go back to the boondocks when Tom was trapped in prison. He was scared about being assaulted in prison. It is one of, if not the most fearful thing that men are afraid of. It's the it's got to be the number one thing.
Speaker: Men don't want to be violated by other men. Right. And it's the thing that we worry about. It's a thing that happens not only in prison, but also in real life. Yes.
Speaker: The amount of times that it happens compared to a woman
Speaker: falsely accusing somebody. Mm-hmm. Okay? Not a woman accusing somebody that actually did it. Falsely accusing, because that's the other thing men are afraid of. Right. other thing men are afraid of is being falsely accused.
Speaker: It is way more likely... that a man will be assaulted by a man than he will ever be falsely accused by a woman. So what does that say? It says that the numbers of women that are falsely accusing men of these situations are extremely, extremely low.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. men being assaulted by other men, those numbers are extremely, extremely and like low. But it is three to four times more likely that a man will be assaulted by another man than he would be accused by a woman, falsely accused by a woman.
Speaker: The point I'm trying to make is we need to shut up and listen to women. Now, i don't know if the alleged assault is an actual assault.
Speaker: This is what I do know, though. Even if she agreed to have two threesomes, that means she agreed to have sexual relations with four men.
Speaker: There were seven plus men in that room. So even if she agreed to four, there's at least three that she didn't agree to. That automatically means it's assault.
Speaker: And some people are trying to say, well, she agreed to she agreed to this. even if she Even if you take it at that, even if you say she agreed to two threesomes, she didn't agree to all of that.
Speaker: And just because you might if think low of a person who would want to have two threesomes, that doesn't mean that she should be treated the way she was by the other three. And I'm just going off of the baseline.
Speaker: If she did agree to the threesomes, which I'm not sure that she actually agreed to in the first place. Right. Yeah. This is absolutely horrific.
Speaker: And what it sheds light on is honestly the ineffectual, University system that I am honestly, i know that, you know, it wasn't kept internal because the DA was notified. Right. But decided to file no charges. But there are a lot of instances where.
Speaker: these investigations and things you reported to campus police, it's it's handled internally. No, that that, I don't think an institution where, like, such horrible stories coming out of that institution, which is clearly going to have some effect on its reputation, should be handling the investigation into that.
Speaker: Because what is to stop that university, and this happens a lot, I think, from trying to save face the best it can by sweeping things under the rug? Well, that's exactly what happens because yes campus pi campus police is employed by the school. So if you were a fan of The Wire, you know about padding the stats, right? Turning a simple assault into, or turning like an aggravated assault into a simple assault, trying to make a felony into a misdemeanor do to cook the stats, right? oh
Speaker: Colleges do that. Yeah. Because their campus police is employed by The school. And no school wants to be known as a dangerous place.
Speaker: Right. a school is a business and they're in it to make money. Yes. The DA got some information, but there was also a 120-page interview transcript that he didn't get.
Speaker: i don't know that the the DA got all of the text messages that's been leaking out. And God damn. You manosphere punk, excuse my language, bitches who are looking for any excuse to say, well, she wanted it.
Speaker: And not even just you guys. Because you got Megyn Kelly. Did you see what she said? I'm paraphrasing here. But Megyn Kelly was like, she should be happy that she got the attention.
Speaker: Because she's not a very attractive woman.
Speaker: This, I was talking to somebody who's a sexual assault advocate because they had been sexual assaulted and then started talking as if they were giving a pass to the young men and saying, well, she did do drugs. And I said to them, well, she snorted ketamine, but her story was,
Speaker: that she was in a room with eight to 10 guys and felt pressured. Well, you don't have to do it. Well, okay. Let's say this.
Speaker: I've heard stories of women and men aren't these men and spirit men and men that get sensitive aren't going to want to hear it. But when I heard the story, I was like, oh, that makes sense to me. And oh, my God, i hope I haven't had a situation like that. Women will be over at your house or over at their house alone with you.
Speaker: And we'll go through with things because of fear yeah of how a man will respond if he is rejected. Yeah. Meaning that they'll just do it. Some guys think that they're players. No, you're not players. Women are put in these situations and sometimes they have to weigh my survival. Right. And sometimes they don't realize that they're in these situations until they're in the situations. Right.
Speaker: And they will go through with things because they feel pressure because what if what if What if I say no? So she's in a room. There are eight to ten guys.
Speaker: Yeah. Drunk frat guys. Yeah. Pressuring her. She's already been intoxicated. She was at a party, then a bar. That's the reason why the bar is in the lawsuit as well.
Speaker: And yes, she might she might do some things that she didn't want to do because eight to ten guys in the room? She wants to leave the room alive.
Speaker: And this was a seven-hour ordeal. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, it's absolutely it's absolutely disgusting. And I feel like... You know, I would love to say that Megyn Kelly is is just the type of person to say things for money, but I honestly feel like she's just a despicable human being. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Yeah. No. Yeah, she is. And and and even if even if you want to give some some type of, I don't know, excuse for the seven people that are involved in this lawsuit,
Speaker: The whole fraternity is trash because Dick, I don't want, guys, I don't want to give you the details of this case because they're so graphic, but just look up the Snapchat conversations of what was going on during this whole incident.
Speaker: And every member of the fraternity knew what was going on. And was being told, come get it. Crazy. Yeah.
Speaker: Crazy. Yeah. And then the cover up afterwards to just be like, there is a meeting and they tried to say, well, no, that's just our regular weekly meeting. OK, there is a meeting afterwards to try and do damage control. You know, when you do stuff like that, when you know you've done something wrong. Now, this is all alleged.
Speaker: all alleged. I'm just saying that if you look at the totality of the picture, it don't look good. It don't look great at all. and the thing And the thing of it is, is, you know, i have long since been, I'm sure, I'm actually positive, that there are a lot of fraternities out there that do great community work and really promote leadership and academic excellence and all of that.
Speaker: But there is something deeply, deeply broken in fraternity culture. And it has been for a very, very long time. From from hazing to these kinds of assaults, there's just been a long history of really deplorable behavior.
Speaker: Because you you think about it and it's like, it wasn't one of y'all, just one, to say... I don't think that this is right. The mob effect.
Speaker: It's the mob effect. And it's also a lot of times. Well, I can't say a lot of times because I don't know for sure, but I know that I have heard of incidents where they will.
Speaker: During pledging, have you do something horrible to have dirt on you. hmm.
Speaker: I'd rather they just make me bag cocaine like they was doing in the ah the the Pennsylvania at Penn State. Did you dirt on me? Like, I would rather that dirt be on me than this.
Speaker: Because I'm not selling it to nobody who don't want it. So it's like, shout out to Ali Sadiq. But like, yeah, this, you just needed one. Just needed one, one of the guys to stand up and say that this is not, this is, I don't think this is okay.
Speaker: Well, that takes courage. Yeah. And there's already a a thing that's floating in the manosphere about the empathy trap. Right. Where a lack of it, like having empathy is is a bad thing.
Speaker: and Yeah, you know we know that. And that is a the main tenet of toxic masculinity. Right. there is there is There is something that that is also bothering me.
Speaker: And it's the New York state law that basically says that, you know, your can you can, even if you're intoxicated, even if you've been taking drugs, there could still be consent.
Speaker: It doesn't automatically waive away consent just because you've been taking drugs and been intoxicated. And I've heard arguments as to why this works. or why this is on the books. Because if if if I'm intoxicated and a young lady is intoxicated, we're both intoxicated. But I've always known, just like little John says in the and a song Lover and Friends, which is a is a Bible of consent, because he asked several times, yeah are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? This was something that was ingrained in me while I was in college. Should have been younger.
Speaker: But while I was in college, consent, consent, consent, consent. yeah It doesn't matter if we're both intoxicated. The responsibility, fairly or not, falls on the male to make sure that he has absolute consent.
Speaker: And...
Speaker: it's that's a tricky it's a tricky It falls on the party in power in that situation because it's not always the male. I don't want to say that well female or male assaults don't occur because they do occur. They do. They do occur. Yeah, they do occur. So it's the person in power that really the onus is on them. But there yeah, i don't I think there are plenty of people who have been high and had consensual relations, right? It's about enthusiastic consent. Yeah.
Speaker: is the other person in participating? you like Like, are they actively participating in what's going on? Like, that is called enthusiastic consent. If you don't have it, ah you haven't gotten verbal consent, guess what? You don't you don't get to you don't get to get none at night. that's ah That's just it. Like, yeah you you have to say, I have not gotten verbal consent.
Speaker: and I don't see enthusiastic consent, which means this isn't happening. Yeah. Shout out to the student journalists who spent 23 months on this when adults were willing to let it go, and the people on social media that that not only this, but the young lady at LSU, and even though it's a separate issue, Noah Wells.
Speaker: ah Like, that there is a power of social media to make sure... that people get justice.
Speaker: And I also want to come at those people who are comparing this situation to the Duke lacrosse situation that happened years ago. it was in the early 2000s. If you're not familiar with it, there was a woman that said she was sexually assaulted by the Duke lacrosse team. The Duke lacrosse team got dragged through the mud in the media. This was before social media. It was uproars. It was protests on campus because it was racial components combined, aligned in this.
Speaker: And it came out to be false. Here's a difference. That case, we were learning about it in real time. Mm-hmm. This was two years ago. Yeah.
Speaker: So we got the information. So this is, this it's apples and oranges. It's not apples and apples. It's not the same comparison. Though we always, always, and this is something that I say as a researcher, always should wait for the facts to come out. But i always do my sniff test. Not literally, but the sniff test. Like, look.
Speaker: Some smell fishy. Some smell foul. Some ain't right about this. Like my yeah third eye is telling me something ain't right. Are yeah all seven guilty? Allegedly.
Speaker: i don't know. Some are. That I know for sure. Some, some, somebody did something wrong. In my mind, the entire, the entire, anyone who knew and did nothing is culpable. It's just the same way that you can be convicted of, you know, capital murder and not have pulled the trigger yourself. And like, you can still be culpable for these things, even if,
Speaker: You didn't do it yourself. You chose to stay silent. You chose to not report it. You chose to not intervene. You chose to be a coward, and you have to deal with the consequences of those choices.
Speaker: Yeah. So i think that's... Because at the end of the day, you're weighing this idea of false brotherhood and friendship because it's false. In a situation in a situation like that, not saying that the brotherhood and fraternities is false because that's absolutely not the case. But this here, this was not brotherhood. This was a mob. And so you're weighing the benefit, allegedly. You're weighing the benefit of staying a part of this group.
Speaker: versus somebody else's safety, their their rights, there their life. Well, that's the manhood test, right? And you're deciding that she is not worth you not being a member of this group anymore.
Speaker: Well, that's the manhood test, right? It's the difference of being one of the boys as opposed to being a man that stands out on your own. Right. And unfortunately, lot of grown men who consider themselves men are still boys because they don't stand out on their own.
Speaker: yeah We see this in politicians today, even on both sides, more on one side than the other. But but on both sides, still, there are people who follow the crowd instead of standing on their own because it's going to cost them.
Speaker: That takes courage. And so a lot of these men failed that manhood test. And there's also a different thing about being correct or wrecked. Like the DA a might legally be correct, but...
Speaker: and not applying charges based on that law in New York. But what it also says is the system failed this young lady because nobody owned the case. Each institution assumes somebody else had it, and that's infrastructure.
Speaker: That's not an accident. So that goes back to what you were saying. These campuses... handling these investigations, and then with Title IX, who gets it after that? There's a lot of confusion of what the process is. And it should be a clear-cut process. yeah If there is a crime that was committed, a crime needs to be investigated by the proper people that actually know how to investigate crimes. Right.
Speaker: I don't know. What I hope for is... is oof Peace, peace for this young lady. yeah Because no matter what, whether it it's alleged or not, she's not at peace with what happened that night.
Speaker: Exactly. And that's what I wish for. Enough that she followed the proper process and reported Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So um which means there was something about it that she didn't agree with. Maybe she had to weigh her chances of actually walking out of that building versus what they were asking her to do and decide, you know.
Speaker: I'm going to do what they're asking me to do so that I can walk out of this building. You don't understand that every day women are either faced with that choice or faced with the potential of that choice. And because we don't know any situation where we walk into whether we'll have to face that kind of choice, Yeah, we're always on guard. Yeah, our wall is always up. It's that same kind of, it's that same ah analogy Muhammad Ali said about, you know, it was a bunch of poisonous snakes and I had a door that I could shut and I could shut them all out. But there was a couple snakes in there that didn't want to bite me, that didn't mean me any harm. Should I let all the snakes in and hope that the the ones that don't want to harm me will rally around and protect me? Or should I just close the door?
Speaker: And not let any in because I don't know who is who. And it's the same situation that women face every day. You can't even say every time we leave the house because sometimes we experience it in our own homes. So for all of the people out there, the the Manosphere people, the Megyn Kellys out there and all the I pray.
Speaker: even though the statistics show that this is probably not going to happen. But I pray that you never experience yourself or know anybody that has to experience something like this. The statistics are are one in four, I believe, or one in three. So chances are you do know somebody who has gone through something like this. And so the fact that you can open your mouth and say that this has anything to do with the attractiveness of this woman,
Speaker: That at any point that sexual assault has anything to do with actual sexual desire and not just power, which is exactly what it is. It makes you disgusting. It makes you uninformed. And you do not get a seat at the table to deliver your opinion. You are you have made yourself absolutely irrelevant in this conversation. Nobody is listening to you.
Speaker: right, Jay, let's switch topics because that was heavy. Let's get light. And let's ah let's talk about our uncle on this trip. Now, our uncle is... Our uncle and aunt are in their 70s. They're in their 70s. They're in their So let's just set the stage.
Speaker: Okay. You want to set because could probably set it better than me. We are talking about... two wonderful people. Number one, let's just put that out there. Our aunt and uncle are two wonderful people. They are incredibly kind and loving. They are in their seventies. We adore them, but the level of shenanigans.
Speaker: First of all, let me just say, before we even get into the big thing, Okay. Which one is the big thing? Because it's two big things. The being lost.
Speaker: i don't know if that's cool I don't know if that's bigger than than the than the waiver. Oh, boy. You know, we're getting into both. We're getting both. Let's just first start with the fact that to help with people who need extra help with mobility, accessibility, the cruise line offers motorized scooters.
Speaker: Our wonderful aunt, who we adore, does not have the best eyesight. And so getting her this motorized scooter to improve her mobility and accessibility, it went about as well as you thought it went.
Speaker: And a lot of times I think people were just guiding the scooter because it went about as well as you thought it would go. So they're wonderful couple that we love dearly.
Speaker: Love dearly. They are in their 70s. In their 70s, yes. And there's already issues with mobility. Right.
Speaker: So that's let's set that stage. Okay. First. I'm going to tell the first story. Okay. So me and our cousin are on a deck. Mm-hmm. And we see our uncle in a distance yeah going to go get what we think heading towards the food area, going to go get something to eat.
Speaker: Yes. He's off in the distance. Even if we ran to try and catch him, we wouldn't have caught him. It was a fairly large boat. It's probably one of the largest in their fleet. So it definitely could be. It wasn't boat. It was a ship. Yes.
Speaker: Yes. About five minutes later, We see him rushing out, and I thought to myself, oh, he's probably just looking at what's on the menu for our aunt because he's going to take food down to our aunt.
Speaker: Yeah. Me and my cousin part ways. We grabbed ourselves a little drink. We part ways. I'm back in the room. Mm-hmm. He texts us in the group chat, have you seen aunt?
Speaker: Yeah. And I'm like, no, I just left you. So, you know, i i haven't seen her. Like, what you mean? Yeah. And what do you mean?
Speaker: Right. And what do you mean? Well, our uncle lost our aunt. No. Yes. I refuse to accept that wording. Okay.
Speaker: Given the circumstances of the situation. What happens is when you get off the ship at a port, you go all the way down to the bottom of the ship, the last level, and you get on and off. Yes. When you're down there and everybody's coming back on the ship, it is packed and everybody's waiting for the elevators.
Speaker: But also you have to go through security, which involves a metal detector. Which involves a metal detector. So yeah our uncle, as he's going through the metal detector, has to take out his cell phone and put it through the little conveyor belt.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. Well, after he and our aunt go through the metal detector, he kind of forgets about that the cell phone was there. Yes. They get on the elevator, and then all of a sudden he remembers, oh, my cell phone is still over there by the security checkpoint.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. He says he turns to some people on the ship and... and On the elevator. On the elevator. And says, hold the elevator. I'm going to be right back.
Speaker: Now, I immediately ask him how many people were waiting for elevators because everybody's getting on shift and there's typically a line. Yes. Oh, I don't. room I can't recall. that's That's what he said. I can't recall. Mm hmm.
Speaker: So he runs back to go get his phone. Well, those people don't hold the elevator. No. They go. Yes. So our aunt is somewhere.
Speaker: Our aunt who does not have the best vision. Right. And is currently sitting upon a motorized scooter. Right.
Speaker: Yes. Is riding up. Who knows? It goes all the way up to... To what deck? We don't know. What deck? There were 12 decks. 12 decks. It goes all the way up to 12 decks.
Speaker: So our cousin is found by our uncle and says that he lost our aunt. So they are searching each deck. That's what happened. Not that she got lost.
Speaker: Right. But that she was lost by...
Speaker: Our uncle. So they are searching each deck trying to find our aunt. And I forgot, I forgot how they actually found her. I don't know either.
Speaker: they know that she was found. She was found. Yes. there After about, I guess it was 30 minutes, she was found. Yes. But our our uncle was upset at the people not holding the elevator.
Speaker: Yeah. And I was like, But, Unc, like, why why why would they hold the elevator? There so many people waiting for elevators. they Why would they? Why wouldn't you get her off the elevator elevator? Or just go back.
Speaker: Get her where she needs to go and then just go back. Your phone's not going anywhere. Nobody is jacking phone. on the balloon. plus Plus your phone is broke. It's broken. It's broken. So nobody is going to... That phone is going to be right down there or it's going to the lost and found.
Speaker: Right. So you could... Yeah. There were many... And so I had questions when I heard about this. I had ah many, many questions. And the one thing i I truly love about our uncle is his ability to spin. Right.
Speaker: or He was gonna spin um this. And he was honestly lobbying the two of us to tell the story in a way such that he is not at fault for this. But we will not do that. We are we are stewards of truth.
Speaker: Right. And was it funny at the time? No, that wasn't it wasn't. wasn't funny later. Yes. But at the time, no. And I had very, very, very many questions. But that wasn't the only thing that happened with our uncle, or with our aunt and uncle, but really, our uncle on this trip. And hi personally think the second one, which happened first, and they both happened on the same day.
Speaker: Yeah. Within an hour from each other. Yeah. Okay. I think the first thing that happened that day was even more egregious. do You want to tell that story? Now, I don't know this one. i only know about the... There was more?
Speaker: oh okay. So this is what happened. and See, people don't want to tell me stuff but because then I have questions. There was an excursion while we were in the Dominican Republic.
Speaker: Yeah. And our aunt, once again, not as mobile as she used to be. Right. Didn't want to continue on to the rest of the part of this the excursion because there was going to be more walking. They had taken a yeah bus or shuttle or something to another location. And she was like, I'm tired.
Speaker: Yeah. Fair. So instead of our uncle staying on that shuttle... with her and waiting for the rest of the group to come back.
Speaker: Okay. He leaves her on the shuttle and goes and does the rest of the excursion. Now, here's the key part. Because she's left on the shuttle, he had to sign a liability waiver.
Speaker: So we're in a Dominican Republic. I did not know this. He leaves our aunt, who's not the most mobile and doesn't have the greatest sight, right on a shuttle with a stranger in the Dominican Republic, where he goes off and finishes the rest of the excursion.
Speaker: Me and our aunt, who's not able to see that well right and isn't really mobile, has to sign a waiver. And then our cousin, their daughter, said,
Speaker: Well, how did she sign the waiver if she can't really see that well? You had to sign in the waiver.
Speaker: Now, mind you, our uncle loves our aunt very much. They're actually going to celebrate celebrate, I believe, their 45th wedding anniversary by renewing their vows, and he's planning the whole thing. So I don't want people to think by his behavior
Speaker: That they are not very much in love and have not been in love for nearly 50 years. Right. But boy, oh boy. He leaves her on a shuttle.
Speaker: I just have to say in Dominican Republic, nobody else is there but the shuttle driver. And then I'm like, well, wait a minute. Dominican Republic was hot. Yeah, it was. Did they leave the engine running?
Speaker: Was it air conditioning for aunt? Did she have water? Did you know how long she was going to be gone? And then after all of this, That's when he also left her just an hour later on the elevator. Coming back on the boat from that excursion.
Speaker: Right. Came back on the boat from that excursion and then left on on the elevator. This all happened in the same day. And spent all of dinner... No, we spent the rest of the vacation.
Speaker: Truly, spent the rest of the vacation trying to convince us of what story to tell. Right. Yeah. No. We're going to tell what happened.
Speaker: And what happened was you left our aunt with some strangers in a foreign country. And then you left her with some strangers on an elevator. That's what happened. Still in foreign country. Still in a foreign country. And didn't take accountability for any of it.
Speaker: Nope. Wasn't his fault somehow. Wasn't his fault. The story he wanted us to tell, I think he understood he was accountable for it because I made sure of that. I kept punching. I kept punching it in. Like, you say, you're going to keep coming up with excuse on this one.
Speaker: But but but yeah all of that being said, and, you know, other shenanigans also occurring on this on this trip. It was a great trip. Like, I had so much fun. Like, I honestly had a ball and i i wouldn't have i wouldn't have changed a thing.
Speaker: Except that we actually got to... Look, y'all, we almost got into a fight. Oh, I thought we was going to leave that one alone. Look, all I'm saying We gonna end the that.
Speaker: All I'm saying is... You know, we were the bigger peit people and we walked away. But Miss Jerry... Look, okay. All right, ladies and gentlemen, it's our dad's birthday. And we're at a comedy show.
Speaker: My sister has saved us seats. It's me, my sister, my brother, and our father. It's his birthday. And we don't mind the chit-chatter before the show starts, but the host has actually come on.
Speaker: yep And we can't even hear the host because this group behind us is being real rowdy. Now, our brother said that I wasn't the most diplomatic with my response to them. And I will be quite frank.
Speaker: I don't remember exactly what I said. I think I said something along the fact that we're all trying to enjoy this. Yeah, and we could be quiet.
Speaker: Having been the person sitting next to you, can tell you you, so the problem comes in when you wait until you're already angry to then confront it. So you are already angry by that point. And did your anger come across? Yes.
Speaker: Yes. You were already annoyed and angry at that point. But still, for them to double down, triple down, and keep talking, and and not just talking, like really making a spectacle. Somebody was like climbing over seats. It was just like a whole spectacle. And so I was like, let's just move.
Speaker: Let's just move. So we get up. The show is just starting. We're getting up to go find... and this is where the triple down comes in. ah It was a main lady who I will call Miss Jerry because she reminds me... call her go too.
Speaker: Because she reminds me of Miss Jerry from Martin. That just got real loud and reckless at the mouth as we were getting up to leave. And, you know, listen...
Speaker: We're very, you know, we're professionals. Mm-hmm. Very, you know, diplomatic people. We're lovers. We're not fighters. Right. But we will fight. We will fight. And it almost happened. ah It almost did. But I think there was, we were able to kind of rally ourselves to be like, let's not do this. Because it was dad's birthday. Yes.
Speaker: It was his birthday. And we were like, let's try to just salvage this. the rest of this evening, but when I tell you i had daggers in my eyes for the rest of that night, ah and then I woke up the next morning still mad. Oh, I'm still mad right now. like Yeah. Like...
Speaker: I was low-key. I was kind of looking for him on the ship for the rest of the trip. Same. Because our brother said her son said something like, what did he say? And I'm glad. No, I heard him say that. Okay. I'm glad I didn't hear it in the moment because I might have snapped at that point.
Speaker: Yeah. i I don't want to. Like, ladies and gentlemen, we was about to be one of those people that you see on those cruise ships fighting. It was really, it was, that's really what it was about to be. And had that not been an older lady, who had that been a man my age, a peer, Yeah.
Speaker: there There would have been something. Or if we had had certain other family members with us that were also on this on this trip. It would have been a problem. It would have been a problem. And you don't want 14 of our family members. Yeah.
Speaker: You don't want that. You don't want that. You don't want that. You don't want that. You don't want that kind of trouble. All in great trip. What do you want to tell these people before we get up out of here? Because we done. Because I'm struggling. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm still sick.
Speaker: Yeah. I know you can hear it in my voice. I've been coughing all through this episode. Just... We're going to have to... We'll be back in a couple of days. We'll be back, okay? Yeah. If you get opportunities to spend time with, you know, family that you might not even know that well or haven't seen in a long time, take that opportunity because, like...
Speaker: Time has passed. that That family member has become a whole person and has lived a whole life that you, you know, don't know anything about. It's a great opportunity to connect and just see how they've changed and they can see how you've changed. you You never know. what connections you can make within your own family. So if you get an opportunity like we did to spend some time with your extended family, ah you know, as long as they're not harmful and and toxic to you, yeah, take that time and spend a little bit more time getting to know your people.
Speaker: And i would say, you know, to piggyback off of my sister says, one, ditto, right? But also take time for yourself. Yeah. Take time for yourself. You know, my sister was saying, I don't like to have fun. This was my first vacation in 10 years. I didn't get the rest that I needed.
Speaker: However, I got the relaxation that I needed. And that's important. Sometimes you just need to see some waves crashing and some booty cheeks on the... I didn't know why i needed to add that, but for me, it's relaxing.
Speaker: Yeah. you For me, that's relaxing. But on that note, ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank you for listening. I want to thank you for watching. And until next time, as always, I'll holler.
Speaker: That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now, before you go, don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, comment, and share our podcast wherever you're listening or watching it to it. Pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock will will enjoy it also. So share the wealth, share the knowledge, share the noise.
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