Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Ep. 81 Roots and Bark
179 Plays2 years ago
An animated mass of root and timber stands between our heroes and one of the long-awaited destinations lost and forgotten. To arms as the Swords must chop their way through this unnatural combatant.
Recommended
Transcript
Stuck in a Dark Realm
00:00:05
Speaker
previously on the hired swords. What would happen if we don't make it to the elven camp? What would happen if we're stuck in a realm of death? There's nothing here but death and muck and the darkness.
00:00:27
Speaker
I'm tired of being here. I'm tired of seeing sad looks on my companions. I'm t-t-tired! And this monster s-stands in our way, once again! I just want to-to-to find home. I need to find. To-to find my father. Th-that's all.
00:00:47
Speaker
That's all I ever wanted. I don't know how we're going to make it through. We're not safe here. Every day we travel, I beseech the gods of old. Please let us make it out alive.
Humorous Banter and Introductions
00:01:30
Speaker
You're listening to the Hired Swords, the D&D podcast that forgot to inform you it's releasing biweekly.
00:01:51
Speaker
Hi folks, welcome to another episode of the Hired Swords. I realize I did it the same way every time. I'm trying to mix it up a little bit. Was that better? Was that good? That was okay. I thought it was kind of terrible. I don't think you can hear them if they reply. Okay. Well, I was asking you guys, the people who are in here with me and those people are Ash playing Gwendolyn. Hello, Ash. Hello, Michael. Hey, Derek is Devin. Yo.
00:02:18
Speaker
Blaze, he's Krigs Golder, sophomore and ember oak, mushroom daddy, many things. I had a snack in my mouth when I was trying to talk earlier and I almost choked.
Encounter with the Corrupted Vine Monster
00:02:27
Speaker
Ooh, don't do that. And the guy who said I sounded terrible, how's Mikey playing jockser? That's why he's last. I'm your ranger. You're my what, ranger? Ranger, yep, I'll be playing your ranger today. Oh, okay, that's new. Cool. Let's just change our class every single time.
00:02:45
Speaker
Okay. Oh yeah, every game. That'll be super fun and easy to keep up with for all of us. This time I'm playing your Fardiser. Fardiser. Can we also talk on everyone's turn? At the same time, we're supposed to, right? Let's do that. Let's talk over each other the whole time. Great. Perfect. The last episode. The last episode.
00:03:11
Speaker
When we last left off, we were, we finished a little bit of a, attempted a little bit of a ceremony, something to kind of, I don't know, honor those who had fallen in the battlefield that they were found in. They found themselves in at the end of the episode before. And Krigs casting a spell to cause these flames sort of creations of mushroom and phosphorescent
00:03:38
Speaker
growth to kind of bury these creatures instead or these skeletons and things instead kind of caused them to become these more corrupted versions of these corpses. But after leaving that space, walking through the woods for a little while, they happen upon this
00:04:02
Speaker
large viney plant monster that seems to only have one thing in its mind, and that is to consume whomever it comes up in contact with.
Battle with the Plant Monster
00:04:14
Speaker
And we left off with Gwyn trying to convince it to, or just trying to communicate with it and talk to it, see what happens.
00:04:22
Speaker
failing the creature, then attacking Gwyn, doing some damage, leaving us now to Joxer's turn as we are, as we sit here in combat.
00:04:36
Speaker
Yeah, so because no one moved on their turn, we are all still grouped together. Separate Carmen. Carmen moved away. We're family. Family stays together. At least we're not tied together this time. It's a good call. Yeah. So at minimum, I'm going to try to walk around this beast, which looks like that's a...
00:05:03
Speaker
What is that? I don't know, so... How big is he?
00:05:08
Speaker
It's very large, about 15 feet across, 15-foot diameter. He stands about 10 feet tall. I'm just trying to paint a mind picture for those listening and can't see the map. Plants and vines. It looks like he's not as much made up of plants and vines as he maybe once was, but now he's kind of made up of everything he's consumed with body parts of different creatures and things inside of him that are kind of visible as well.
00:05:38
Speaker
Yeah, I do not plan on being a part of that family there. I will use a key point because I'm going to use a bonus action to do Flurry Blows. Okay. And so I'm just going to pop it a couple of times to see how it feels, you know? Yeah, yeah. And just get an idea. Go for it. Yeah. All right, so it'll be too tense.
00:06:07
Speaker
That is not my best. So that is a 16 and a 19. Both will hit as 15 is your target. Whoo! Flurry of Blows doesn't count as a weapon attack. It's unarmed, right? Yeah, that's my melee attack, unless my tattoos are considered weapons now. I think that would still be an unarmed attack. Alrighty then. I did use your arms, but...
00:06:31
Speaker
Let's see here. Yeah, yeah, that was that went over real well. I was thinking about laughing, but then you forgot if you have to if you have to think about it, then you probably just shouldn't do it. Yeah, a better of it. All right. That'll be to decide whether or not to laugh. It's not real. Nine plus five. So 14. Did we say that was radiant because the. Yeah, it is. All right.
00:07:00
Speaker
or at least magical, whichever. And so that'll be, I said it, 14 damage there. And then using my drunken master, I guess, portion of that, I'm able to disengage after I do that, after I confuse it. So I'm gonna move a little bit further away.
00:07:26
Speaker
So I'm going to jump over these trees that are just all over the ground and the mucky ground and I don't know, just hop, skip, hop, skip and jump away. Yeah. Yeah. Make, make up some distance and then I am going to cast a spell. Okay. What are you going to cast? I am going to cast Rolotham's Psychic Lance.
00:07:49
Speaker
Okay. That sounds elaborate. Yeah. So just this little, little, I don't know, purple circle, like emanate straight from my forehead and directly at the beast. And I unleash a lance of psychic power and it will need to make a constitution, no, intelligent saving throw. That's not going to go super good. You say that.
00:08:20
Speaker
Fourteen is what it needs to make. It rolls a seven. All right. So it's going to take seven minus three. Seven damage. Seven D six damage and is seven D six damage. Seven D six damage. Yeah. And is incapacitated until the start of my next turn. Oh, snaps. OK.
00:08:47
Speaker
Ooh, that's a six and a five, so 11. Four and a one, so 16. Five and a three, so 24. And then one more.
00:09:04
Speaker
And then another five, so 29 psychic damage. 29 psychic damage as this thing begins to flail just as it does. It's a couple of these vines as it flails from this damage kind of flop open. And half of this bat-like creature falls out. One arm ahead and part of a wing still attached as it's like this upper section of this creature. Large. It looks like a bat, but it's large.
00:09:34
Speaker
Makes you maybe wonder where that thing came from as it had been consumed at some point by this creature And that that is my turn. All right, that takes us to Davins turn. What are you gonna do, sir? Oh, I don't know Think I'm gonna keep it simple Davins just kind of kind of swing his arm around and you see like flames start to build up as he does and I'm just Going to stretch it out to a spear and throw a firebolt at it Firebolts got it
00:10:03
Speaker
No 16 to hit it will that is So it's 3d10 Okey-doke and that is 18 fire damage to the poor feller All right any does it do lightning as well. It does a d6 of lightning, huh? Mm-hmm five more
00:10:25
Speaker
five lightning, so this flame hit this thing and begins to, begins to wrap around it. And you see sections of it begin to kind of char and burn off while it doesn't seem to like penetrate the thickness of these vines and do as much damage as you would have hoped this fire. And then the lightning starts to spark around it. And as it does, some of these vines
00:10:52
Speaker
whip and flap towards this lightning and it absorbs inside adding that amount of hit points instead of subtracting. You said it was, how many? Five. So you're telling me the one time you remind me of my lightning damage is because you wanted to heal yourself. I remind you almost every time, sir. You shirk. Wow, how much was the fire? You're right. The fire was 18. 18, got it. Yes. Okay.
00:11:20
Speaker
Uh, and then I'm going to back up because I want to put some space between me and the other party members. So I'm just going to back up about, about 15 feet back into this corner. Between the trees, behind the trigs. Yeah. All right. All right. Sounds good. That's me. So that is Daven's turn. We are back up to Carmen's turn. He's going to just, old faithful, bonus action, hide, throw a couple of daggers that we'll return to him. And so here he goes. Carmen, stone,
00:11:51
Speaker
One, two. We have a ten, which is a natural one. Completely misses. And the second one is a... is a 12 plus 9, so a total of 21 as he hits with the second attack doing a d4 plus 5 piercing. And also his d6 sneak attack. So let's do the...
00:12:19
Speaker
d4 plus 5 that would be 9 as max damage on that plus 66 so 9 to 10 which would be 19 plus 3 more d6 11 so that would be 19 plus 11 would be 30 yep or 30 30 30 damage
00:12:43
Speaker
numbers remember that damage as these daggers this one dagger just Slices through this guy and hang on. No, that's not true. Ah No, that is right because it's 66
00:12:57
Speaker
Wow. Okay, cool. Yep. So, slices through, like, slicing pieces of this off of him, and then goes right inside this monster, like, disappears inside this creature into the blackness inside. And the creature then flails back again, like you did with the psychic damage, and just, you hear this... The slimy, slobbery sound as Carmen's...
00:13:24
Speaker
Dagger, his second dagger reappears in his hand and he tries to lock eyes on that other dagger to get it back and can't see it after rolling that natural one. Kind of loses sight of his first dagger. That takes us now. You can add a 1d4 to that. Gwendolyn's turn. Oh, I can. Another one, huh? A weapon attack. Wow. So that is one more damage. Worth it. How do you want to do this? Oh wait, wrong show.
00:13:53
Speaker
Uh, not quite yet. That takes us to Gwendolyn's turn. Um, I'm going to do my bonus action first. By the way, your attack should have advantage. I think he's restrained. Incapacitated. So incapacitated same. So I think as far as he's sleepy attacks.
00:14:12
Speaker
You still get advantage. I will find out. I'm looking it up immediately right now as we speak. Incapacitated. Can't take actions or reactions. That's all. You don't have any bonus against it. So that's all. Okay. Carry on. Okay. Rules lawyering confirmed.
00:14:30
Speaker
Well, first I'm going to do my bonus action and I am going to create one of my spirit totems, which is a biura. This is when it gets complicated. It's okay. Blocks of text. And I copied it this time, so it's not a novel to read. Oh, nice. So I'm doing the bear spirit. This time it's probably a long paragraph. Oh, I'm sorry.
00:14:53
Speaker
All we need is this part. Gains temporary hit points equal to five plus your druid level. Advantage on strength checks and shaving throws. Yes. I'm sorry Gwen, I love your totems. Oh, okay. Yeah, you're welcome. Everybody loves Gwen's totems. So everyone gets 17 temporary hit points.
00:15:12
Speaker
If they're in there, everyone should be able to hit it because it's a third. I'm putting it right over the monster and it has 30 feet that it'll be. Oh yeah. And for sure diameter, um, a radius. And after I do that, I'm going to turn into a weasel. All right. And I am going to be stealthy. Um, if I can,
00:15:39
Speaker
You can. I mean, you can try to go away. This thing's currently incapacitated. It cannot do anything against you.
00:15:44
Speaker
Okay, well, while I am in weasel form, I am very tiny. So I'm going to try to smell my way to the center or the heart of this beast. I love it. And possibly not it. Okay, great. That's so freaking sick. So I make my way. I guess I wouldn't. Making her way. I wouldn't be asking to do perception yet, so. Yeah, so you're climbing up the vines and kind of getting through to the inside of this creature currently. So that's cool. All right.
00:16:14
Speaker
Is it incapacitated? That takes us... Is that it? Yes, it is. Thanks, Craig. It's offering Craig's your turn. Well, I'm going to smack it. Okay. Why mess around? Just smack it. I love the difference between the two. Like, I'm turning into a tiny animal, and I'm going to crawl inside it, and I'm going to eat it away from the inside. In the other words, I'm going to smack it.
00:16:44
Speaker
I slapped it for 18 plus my weapon. So yeah, I hit it. Yeah. I'm a kind of edge, right? No, you don't have it. OK, I'm glad I didn't. They fake it. I think I have advantage. Yeah, I'm just going to just going to slap it. And I'm going to hit it with my big old hammer. Total of 16 bludgeoning damage.
00:17:10
Speaker
on my first attack and I'm going to add a smite to that because I have improved smite and that'll be a 1d8 wait 2d8 is smite right? I don't know what your character sheet say god dang improved mine smite is 1d8 right nice that adds seven damage so my first attack will hit for 23 damage
00:17:40
Speaker
Boom, a large smack of the hammer crushes through several of these vines. It shoots through some of the darkness inside of this creature, pushing out the other side, splattering this black spray everywhere and this living behind this radiant beam that kind of wraps around the creature and sizzles away some of what's inside of it as well. Now what? Well, I'm gonna smack it again, because it's still not dead. Nope.
00:18:10
Speaker
And I rolled an 18, well, 10 plus eight. That's a hit. Sick. Hopefully I'm not accidentally smacking Gwen with any of these. That'd be terrible. I don't think so. Not right now, at least. Uh-oh. And with that one, I did a 13 bludgeoning damage, and I'm gonna apply Smite to it. Also got a seven on that, so a total of 20 damage on that one. 20 mo.
00:18:37
Speaker
Make a quick work of this thing as you slice, you smack through it again, this time, just crushing into the side of it, just adding, and you see this shockwave of the stuff inside this thing just kind of ripples away, and the damage becomes obvious as it splooges out around the vines that are swirling around this creature. And it's still standing there, but it is very severely damaged.
00:19:05
Speaker
Cool. And free action, I'm going to let the momentum of my hammer swing it up to my shoulder and I'm going to put on a pair of sunglasses and say, you got me feeling fine. Okay. That's banks. Yeah.
00:19:20
Speaker
Awesome, that's the creature's turn and it's gonna do a whole lot of nothing as it's currently incapacitated. I realize we're beating up something that's like, it's just like, okay, I'll take it I guess. You can't do anything. However, Gwyn, you're a weasel as you roll around on the inside of, roll around on the inside of this creature, you're going to take the damage that you would take if you had been engulfed.
00:19:43
Speaker
by this creature. Not the bludgeoning damage, which would be if it's got a hold of you and is squeezing you, but definitely the 3d6 necrotic damage your weasel is going to take. So, because that is just for being inside this creature. So you take...the weasel takes 13 necrotic damage. How many hit points does your weasel have?
00:20:10
Speaker
Why? I liked your idea a lot. Are you inside this plant? Yeah. You're going to unweasel inside this thing? Yeah, because the weasel has like one hit point. Yeah. The armor class is 13, though. Yeah, it's doesn't matter. It's not. It's like an area of effect in the area is the inside of the creature. I didn't put you in there. You went in there.
00:20:38
Speaker
Oh, man, I'm so sorry that I'm making it difficult for you to run your character. Well, I changed back. So yeah, you come back, you take 12 damage. Did we just see two half-elven legs poking out of this? Yeah, Gwen takes 12 damage, right? Because you take the leftover, the remaining damage, after this thing disappears. And so...
00:21:05
Speaker
Suddenly, your skin, your body is starting to turn gray and dry and crack, and you're feeling the pain of that. As parts of you start to die inside this creature, you realize this is made up from this death energy. And Gwendolyn, you are now inside this creature as you have a couple arms sticking out, your legs are sticking out.
00:21:33
Speaker
and you basically your midsection and the side of your head is inside of this creature now as you were kind of snooping around trying to find where to attack and now you are I wouldn't say you're stuck at this point because he can't hold on to you currently being incapacitated but then we go to Joxer's turn
00:21:57
Speaker
So I see like Gwen slowly like forming outside of this being. Yes. Yeah. You see arms and legs, Gwen's arms and legs suddenly protruding out of this creature. I may have gotten stuck. I can't. I don't even know how to process like that visual for me.
00:22:27
Speaker
Boom. And you'll just see me kind of phase out for a half second as I use my Astral Refuge and then pop out with two spells that get cast on myself. So I'm using an action to cast, what is it? My, what do they call it? Their spells with names. Shadow Blade and then Armor of Agathys. Okay.
00:22:56
Speaker
So I just kind of get this light, icy kind of surrounding or mist around me and then I have my blade. I can't really do too much.
00:23:12
Speaker
Yeah, I'll walk up now and I'll kind of sprint up and kind of get cross from where Craig's is. Nice. See if I can give him a little bonus next round. Okay. And you know, I'll use it as a key point and then just kind of smack him. Alright. Alright, so this time it would be an advantage.
00:23:42
Speaker
And that was needed. 14 plus 6, 22, and whoop, that was... 19 or a 2, so both hit. And that'll be... 7 plus 5, that'll be 12 magical fist damage.
00:24:09
Speaker
So you hit this thing with your 12 and punch it. And as you do that last hit, you punch through and the vines break like suddenly like there's hard sticks.
00:24:25
Speaker
And just kind of fracture and when they do this dark energy that was on the inside of this creature just dissipates and all of the vines and all the sticks and everything that made this creature up on the outside suddenly just turned to dead wood and
Reflecting on the Battle and Setting Camp
00:24:45
Speaker
dead plant and just fall on the ground and
00:24:49
Speaker
and Gwendolyn, you fall with it. You had been suspended about five feet in the air by this thing, and now you fall five feet and hit the ground surrounded by these bits of plant life and things that just kind of fall on top of you as this thing seems to have lost its whatever life force was giving it its animation.
00:25:16
Speaker
He probably here going to go as she falls down and kind of rubs her head for a minute and then probably while she's sitting there on the ground, reaches out to touch the plants that are left over.
00:25:32
Speaker
Um, does she, while she looks at it, does she find anything interesting about it? Make a perception check. Okay. So you'll let me make a perception check, but not be a weasel inside a big plant. I see. That's fine. You could, you were a weasel inside the plant. Not for long. I'm sorry. It was a fun idea. And then I realized, oh, inside there is a necrotiki. Uh-huh. Uh, 12.
00:25:56
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, exactly. So you're kind of looking through the sticks and things and realizing this thing was this kind of held together by the necrotic force that was swirling around on the inside, that force that damaged you and took you out of your wild shape.
00:26:18
Speaker
but you don't find anything left behind other than you do realize this is the first like dry sticks and wood that you'd seen since you came into the untouched lands. It could be useful.
00:26:32
Speaker
I throw them into a water puddle. I'm joking. I pick them all up and soak them. I pee on them immediately. I'm so outraged by what happened. This is how I show it. I urinate on the sticks.
00:26:57
Speaker
I have no idea what that was, but I found some sticks. Should we camp soon? Well, how long have we been traveling? That's true. You've been traveling for several hours and you had already traveled several hours to find the battlefield you had found. So this is that same day, definitely into the evening of that day.
00:27:24
Speaker
Well, I suppose I maybe find places a bit cleaner since there's a bit of mess here now, but yeah, we can come around this area. I'm just a little disappointed. I was just I was just kind of getting into the that moment as you see like this magical kind of mist around me and me holding one of the little shadow blades. I'm just like flipping it up in the air and it disappears and then comes back. Well, I mean, we can get a fighter real quick if you want to.
00:27:54
Speaker
No, that sounds ridiculous. She doesn't catch on to the sarcasm. You're right, he wouldn't stand a chance. Stop it! Sir, I didn't know we'd lose our therapist today.
00:28:14
Speaker
Some other time, friend. Just go up to him. We should start seeing other people. David's going to take one dry stick and he's just going to break off just like an inch of it and he's going to put it in his little component pouch that he has. OK. Why do you need that stick? I'm going to I'm going to actually going to like look. What are you doing with that stick? She's so suspicious of everything. One of the kind of magic you're doing with that stick.
00:28:45
Speaker
kind of like investigate what is left of that monster and just kind of see what kind of entities do I see human do I see like just kind of get an idea of like all the creatures that we just met met its end. Okay, yeah, make a investigation check as you look through. Tell me one or two. Just give me one or two. Two. Okay, this time.
00:29:14
Speaker
It's a bad die. I'm sorry, Matt. You shouldn't have asked for DM. So that's an 11. Actually, you know, I'm going to use a luck point just for the ticket. OK, OK. That was a nap one. So we'll go with the other one. Well, you definitely see some like large, very large, like spear sized insect legs. What?
00:29:41
Speaker
You also, okay, so you definitely see, you're not sure what kind of insect this might be, but it's definitely, it's got, it's like kind of fuzzy and a couple joints in the legs. And you had already seen this large bat. It's the bat, the bat looks like it's almost human size. It's pretty large and
00:30:02
Speaker
Other than that, a lot of different plant matter and things like that that are in there, but it's the plants are not they don't look like they were ever fully rich in nutrients or that sort of thing. They're just kind of whatever the same kind of stuff you've been seeing around the place. So I feel like if if like one of you were saying that the insect legs are like spear size, they're big. I was asking about insect legs.
00:30:31
Speaker
And because I am going to take one of those or try to take one of those spear legs just because I don't know. I'm going to figure out what it's going to do. I don't know. I'm going to look over a Gwyn and say, well, is there anything you want to take? I just thought we can make some firewood. That's a good idea. We should take this wood. I'm down to burn it.
00:30:59
Speaker
It'd be nice to have a fire out in this.
00:31:04
Speaker
Yeah, I'm down to burn one. Burn one. Burn one. Yeah, yeah. So do I have to do anything for stealing that leg or can I just take one of those spiny? No, they're just laying there. Cool. I'm just taking one spear. Maybe I'll use it for something. Yeah, man. Just take it, man. It's just laying there, bro.
00:31:30
Speaker
Oh hey, Belle, when did you get here? Oh yeah, sorry. Can you sing us a song? We need a little bit of light. That's just how I feel right now, man. Ready for bed, bro. No. Yeah, so you could take whatever you need out of that pile of leftovers from your monster kill here. That's your loot, baby. Dig away. I'm stealing his knife that he left inside.
00:31:54
Speaker
Wow. I love this more than gold. Carmen is looking around, kind of kicking stuff around over past where the monster had been laying. And finally he looks over just past, just into the woods a little ways and he goes, ah, and that knife is in his hand. He puts it in his belt. Missing is so inconvenient.
00:32:21
Speaker
Got to be more careful than that. Yeah. You're telling me. He says, how does that work? Exactly. That would be, and I'm not saying I want to go hurl and hammer, but that might be useful. Hurl and hammer. Yeah. He says, uh,
00:32:41
Speaker
Well, I don't know how it works. I don't have much use for magic, typically myself, but when the craftsman forged this for me and gave it to the Enchantress, she put something on it that caused it to be more... Way, way more useful for me not having to chase it around all the time. Now, I have to see it to gather it back, so when it tucks itself behind a tree like that one did, well...
00:33:08
Speaker
Don't you say I prefer to hit, not miss. Well, I wouldn't mind hitting the sock. I think we're getting pretty close to the nighttime, right?
00:33:19
Speaker
Rest would be good. I can keep watch to start us off. If you'd like, the place seems to be crawling with things that want to eat us. So if you'd like, I can not going to say no to an extra set of eyes. I'm assuming Jox is interested in keeping watch. You say that. Have you have you seen one of those sets of eyes recently? I haven't seen those. Is it just me? No, I haven't seen them either.
00:33:48
Speaker
Honestly, ever since I saw... I just get real kind of solemn, ever since I saw the soldiers. I haven't seen much of anything eyes-wise or anything else out there.
00:34:03
Speaker
I'm just noticed you know how you get so used to something that you feel strange when it's gone like maybe it was worse that it's not around then it's here I don't know it's probably just me I look at my hand when he says that yeah I I get what you mean well
00:34:25
Speaker
Like I said, if you'd like to start your evenings off with the rest, maybe use some of that dry wood to finally get some sort of fire and take the chill out of the air. I could sit near that fire and keep my eyes open for three or four hours for sure.
Gwen's Troubling Dream
00:34:38
Speaker
Well, that'll give me time to brew a couple of things or at least jump into the brew hole and maybe figure out a couple of other items. Find something to do with this.
00:34:51
Speaker
It is handy having someone here who can whoop up a drink or two. I never traveled with someone with those abilities before. And I must say this is quite a privilege on these journeys. Don't ask him. Don't ask him to try the long bottom stout. It's I've had better. Well, sounds named appropriately, perhaps.
00:35:13
Speaker
That and the dirty brown ale. That one's not everybody's favorite. It's long bottom adjacent. All right. I'm going to start collecting wood and start finding a driest place I can to start setting up a fire, getting a camp going. I'm going to look around and try to forge for food, but then quickly realize that's a stupid idea and then stop. Okay. Are you hungry? I could get you some food if you want to.
00:35:44
Speaker
Would you like some bark? Gwen probably interrupts. You know, Gwen, bark actually tastes like bark. I think I'm going to take you up on that for now. That's fair. I hand him a piece that I have left over. Cringe. She also takes a bite. Once I get the fire set up, I'm going to conjure just a gigantic pile of bark.
00:36:08
Speaker
Does that count as food? Can I actually do that? Yes, you can. It's food now. Flavorless bark. You've made it food. All right. There's a small campfire burning. It's not as bright as you would think from the size of the flame, and it's burning through this wood quickly. This wood is dead.
00:36:33
Speaker
Yeah, just super dry and dead wood. So it's burning quickly and you're having to add this wood, more of this wood, but there's quite a bit of it there. And then next to it now is this pile of bark. It looks like actually it makes sense. Like you're going to burn the bark in the fire there to keep things going. And instead it's supposed to be food, I guess.
00:36:56
Speaker
Can I throw a piece of bark in the fire and see what it does? Yeah, you can. And it burns. It doesn't burn like bark. It burns away like some sort of like tapioca soy based, you know, it almost melt burns like a marshmallow, but I don't know. I was a good idea. I thought maybe we'd have endless amount. I'm going to crunch on a couple of tortilla flavored, uh, uh, pieces of bark. And then I'll go to bed. Okay. Have you had tortillas in this realm?
00:37:26
Speaker
Fantasy tortillas. Where did that come from? Just pure anger. I'm still mad at Mike for not letting me be a weasel. I'm going to ruin everyone's dreams. Fair enough. I'm just joking. I think if a plesiosaurus exists, so does tortilla chips. Yeah, that's probably right.
00:37:49
Speaker
my dreams you could call it corn flatbread if you'd like sure corn flatbread corn crisps corn yeah corn mill flatbread it's a delicacy in glint they sell it on the roadsides on the new new cannon there yeah I haven't had much street food since I've been here
00:38:09
Speaker
Yeah, there you go. Cornbread light. And you dip it in a, you dip it in a tomato and parsley, like soupy kind of sauce that they, they dip it in. It's pretty tasty. Sometimes they put hot peppers in it too. We call it salsa. Trying to red con salsa. I don't think I've ever put parsley in my salsa though. Well, that's basically, it was cilantro is just a form of parsley.
00:38:37
Speaker
OK, I feel like there's someone out there that's going to take issue with that. Yeah, it's true, though, technically like it's a parsley plant, but it's cilantro is a flavor like like there's different kinds of basil. OK, we're way off track here. Sorry. Let's play D&D guys. Yeah, I you just see me lay out my portable hole and just jump down and start brewing.
00:39:05
Speaker
Okay, go down there and do your brew rolls for me.
00:39:10
Speaker
What is everyone else doing? Ashley, you guys, is Gwen sleeping? Gwen's probably not sweeping yet. Sleeping yet. I ain't sweeping yet. I ain't sweeping. I'm probably be sitting next to the fire and then reading my father's journal. I'm going to see, I'm still going to try to find anything. I've read this journal at least a hundred times or more.
00:39:38
Speaker
And I'm going to try to see if there's a code or a decipher or something. Just, I would say this is the norm of what happens when she reads the journal, just trying to pick at it and go through what is left since it's got water damage and stuff to it, but. All right. So are you trying to look for anything in particular? No, just reviewing it as usual. Okay. Go ahead and make a history check just to see as you're digging through.
00:40:11
Speaker
9 plus... 2. 11.
00:40:17
Speaker
Yeah. Uh, you're just kind of looking over all the things that you have. You've seen them all before. I mean, it's, it's just a refresher, like you said, and you're digging through and you're just reminded that, that your father thought he had to leave to do a really great thing. He was going to do something great. And you're just reminded of that. That's kind of the, that's kind of the takeaway you get from this time digging through this journal.
00:40:46
Speaker
Okay. Uh, Devin, you got the fire going and the food there. You do anything else? What did you already say? What you're, if you're going to best he can with the dirt, he's just using mage hand and kind of just tracing some designs and just kind of working things out in his mind. Things he wants to try and do in the future. Maybe if he can get to work. Okay. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. How about you, jockser?
00:41:07
Speaker
How's the brewing? Unusual role. I ended up getting one item out of it or one little potion. The brew is a plus random stat for the day.
00:41:25
Speaker
Well, it's from the list down kind of thing. Yep, yep. And so, yeah, we're it's it's kind of a I don't know, probably closer to a porter in flavor. It's just kind of a mellow kind of earthy, but maybe, maybe, you know, just maybe from being around some of this this unusual soil, it's just kind of pulling in some of the.
00:41:53
Speaker
the weird earthy bits. Oh, nice. That's cool. Okay. Great. So got some brews, a brew made. And from there, Krigs, you got anything else going for the night? Um, honestly, not really. I think, I think it's just going to be kind of in his own head about the conversation or the attempted conversation he had with Helm and
00:42:23
Speaker
Just wondering if there was anything more he really could have done in that whole situation. Okay. All right. You guys settle in, you start to go to sleep. Gwen, make a constitution saving throw as you're reading through the journal. Um, excuse me. Uh, you're welcome. Uh, six, you said constitution. Uh-huh. Uh, plus four, 10.
00:42:50
Speaker
Okay, so you're reading and you definitely as you're reading you start to kind of rest your head on your on your chin as you and your your knee and your elbows on your knee and your your chin's on your on your hand as you kind of sit there and your eyes start to fade and close and you open and oh no no no I'm reading I've got to look through this and you start to fade a little bit again until finally
00:43:16
Speaker
your head sags and you just finally kind of lean yourself back against one of the kind of decrepit logs that are laying there and try to read with your head laid back until finally you drift away. And when you do, you find yourself standing on towering white stone city walls.
00:43:41
Speaker
You're looking out over an open field below you. Behind you is a large, white, green, gold-laden, elven city. Everyone around you is stirring and you hear shouting and running and panic.
00:43:57
Speaker
And as you look over the edge of the wall into the field beneath you, the field is full of siege weapons, towers. Innumerable numbers of columns of soldiers stretch out from the base of the walls to the tree line which looks to be nearly a mile away.
00:44:16
Speaker
You start when you hear a loud voice nearby yell, take aim, fire! And a volley of arrows leaps from the wall around you towards a row of soldiers below, causing mayhem as a number of them fall, leaving gaps to be filled by their companions as they close in to keep their shield lines intact.
00:44:33
Speaker
suddenly ladders click clack on the stone in front of you. And they're stretched up towards the walls, elven soldiers on top of the wall have large hooks that they use to push these ladders back down. The sights and sounds are chaotic and confusing. There's stairs nearby that allow you to head down the wall or there's a room on top of the wall to walk along behind the archers, archers towards a tower to your left.
00:44:59
Speaker
The tower stands 20 feet above the wall and you can see a company of archers firing arrows down on the enemy below from the slots in the stone walls above. You look down behind and below you there's more combat as soldiers brace the castle gates and scramble to defensive positions. You hear a voice
00:45:17
Speaker
Gwen, Gwen, this way. As you turn, you see an elven soldier. He waves you to follow and leads you through an entryway into a corridor that takes you down, down into the halls beneath the castle. Do you follow him?
00:45:32
Speaker
Yeah, I immediately just go. You follow him down the halls beneath the castle and you run down this this stair that runs along the walls. The stairs down and down until you turn it turns and cuts down into a big empty room and in this room are
00:45:53
Speaker
a column of soldiers, elven soldiers, they're wearing greenish leather armor. They're carrying white shields with green, this hand holding an orb emblazoned on all their shields. And
00:46:12
Speaker
the gold trim around their shields they're all holding them together with a command from behind they turn and all of them at once turn and make a path as this soldier escorts you through the middle he he says another command is is called out behind you as you run through the column and they close one by one
00:46:35
Speaker
behind you the shield wall reforming as you can hear faintly in the distance the sounds of combat coming through the hallways
00:46:44
Speaker
You're escorted into another room and in this room through these big wooden doors that close behind you with a large wooden, a pillar slid into a latch to keep the doors from opening again. This room is filled with elven women and children, elderly men and women as well sit watching the door, watching you come in.
00:47:11
Speaker
And as you sit there and you see all of these faces, you hear the voices echo in your mind again, the yelling from your vision before you hear, we had a deal, but we had a deal.
00:47:32
Speaker
And Carmen shakes you awake. You open your eyes and there he is standing over you. And he says, you a deal. What are you talking about? A deal? What are you talking about? You're screaming. You were screaming. You're going to anything out here is going to be drawn to us with your screaming. Are you OK? I was yelling.
00:48:01
Speaker
Yes, you were screaming it. We had a deal. We had a deal. I don't know what you're dreaming about, but it is going to get us all in danger. You've got to gather yourself. All right. Gwen is just kind of confused because Carmen woke her up so abruptly. She's kind of angered because she was she was hoping to find out more. But Carmen obviously just was like, no, not today.
00:48:29
Speaker
Um, rude.
00:48:32
Speaker
She just kind of stares at him and then realizes her journal is still open and she really like, she doesn't want Carmen to read it. Kinda. Cause she still doesn't really trust him. So she, she scrambles to close the book and put the book away and pull out Dale. I'm sorry. I just, I, I won't scream. I just, and she just kind of just rolls over and then rolls back. I'm sorry. I just,
00:49:01
Speaker
Good night, and she just rolls over and kind of snuggles with Dale and just goes like, I didn't know I was yelling. Good night, Dale. And she forces closes her eyes like a little kid trying to pretend they're asleep. Yeah. All right. I look at Carmen and I say, you get used to it. I don't see how.
00:49:27
Speaker
I don't see how and he walks over to the Carmen walks over to the the hole in the ground and looks down and says, I believe it's time to swap
Joxer Spots a Strange Creature
00:49:38
Speaker
out. I don't need much time, but. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'll I'll be up in just a moment. OK. It's a bunch of like things start shuffling randomly since I startled or got startled and don't don't don't OK. Thanks, Bell Sluts. You got that.
00:49:59
Speaker
A cup falls and he grabs it. Just in time before it hits the ground. Yeah, I see it. I see it in my mind's eye. Gross. All right, so Krigs is sleeping, Daven's sleeping. Joxer, when you finish up and you get up there, replace Mr. Carmen Stone on watch, I need you to go ahead and roll a D100 for me. Okay. All right.
00:50:30
Speaker
No whammies. 78. Okay. So as you lay there and look around you, you, again, you get a sense of being watched and you see kind of in the distance,
00:50:59
Speaker
this it looks like a light is on in the distance and like it's pointed at you like it's shining in your direction and as you look at it it's like it blinks and you watch it kind of move to your left a little ways and blink again blink
00:51:26
Speaker
it's looking at you curiously, it's like every now and then it kind of squints a little and you could tell this is an eye. It's a single eye and it's creating, you don't know if it's actually like creating light or if any light that is in the space is just being reflected from this eye, but it's not getting any closer, it's just
00:51:50
Speaker
blinking every now and then, watching you, darting back away, watching. What are you going to do? Well, I see an eye and and now I kind of want to cast a spell. OK. And that spell is going to be an arcane eye.
00:52:15
Speaker
Okay. So basically I create an invisible invisible magical eye and it hovers within range. And so it's a, I mentally receive visual information from that eye.
00:52:29
Speaker
It has normal vision and dark vision out to 30 feet, and it can look in every direction. And so I'm going to I'm going to set it out 30 feet. And towards that other eye, and it is invisible, so. OK, can you make a perception check with that eye for me? Sure can. Does it have any change of stats on that or? As a role with with that eye, or is it just an extension of your own ability to see?
00:52:59
Speaker
It's now limited on how far away they are. It can move, but it can't go to another plane. I think it just uses mine, but it does have dark vision, so I wouldn't be at, like, disadvantage. Right. So make a perception check then. All right. That is 12. 11 plus 12. OK.
00:53:27
Speaker
So you're seeing this creature as it's looking at you.
00:53:32
Speaker
You can tell that it is a creature with an eye with with one single eye and It's it's a very unique looking something you hadn't really seen before but you're only seeing like a silhouette of it as it walks around on two legs But it's got a large upper body almost like kangaroo shape almost with this weird Shaped head. It's hard to kind of make out what it is but as as it's
00:54:00
Speaker
Darting around, it doesn't seem to be coming any closer. It seems to almost be apprehensive to approach. It's just keeping an eye, literally, on what you guys are doing. OK. I'll probably move that eye a little closer, see if I can get a little bit better vision on it and go for one more gander before I try to pull anything back. OK.
00:54:29
Speaker
Okay, so that is a 15. A 15, got it. That's a little better. So if you go get a little closer and you look, you notice that as you kind of get a little closer, are you moving yourself closer or just the eye? Just the eye. So it's invisible. At this point, it seems leery, so I don't want to make any movements myself.
00:54:51
Speaker
yeah okay so you get a little closer with the 15 you can see it a little better now this creature has big strong legs and feet with three big claws on it and it's a little more than a silhouette and this big eye you see is this big green eye with this
00:55:07
Speaker
nasty looking teeth filled mouth. Its back has these big sharp looking spikes on it and it's blinking that big eye at you and with its four fingered clawed hands just grabbing a tree as it looks around the tree at you trying to see what you guys are all about and just kind of look at you all and check you out a little bit
00:55:32
Speaker
And it's it's just watching. It doesn't seem to be wanting to attack or anything at the moment, but that's what it looks like. Like a weird monster looking creature, but seems apprehensive to just dart in. OK, I think at this point it seems a little more like it's trying to scope out if if we could be lunch or not. So I'll probably get you know, I'll stand up and kind of face the direction that I know it's at and.
00:56:04
Speaker
Okay. I'll just kind of say, leave us be. It's not worth your time. So you're approaching it a little bit? I'm just at like the edge. I took like two steps forward. Yeah. I'm not going like at it. Just the sound of your voice.
00:56:23
Speaker
It kind of leans its head back a little bit like trying to like startled a little bit that you acknowledged it. It's like it didn't realize you saw it until now. When it when it realizes you saw it.
00:56:40
Speaker
It kind of takes a couple steps back and in its hands come away from the tree and you see it kind of stepping a little bit apprehensively and looking away from it and back towards you, away from you, back towards you. Like it's trying to decide if it's going to run away or not. Do you want to do anything in this moment or? Let it decide itself. I think, you know, I I'd I'd lightly say
00:57:09
Speaker
If you mean no harm, that's fine, but we are, we are not any, any group to mess with. Not that I expected to understand, but
00:57:21
Speaker
So it starts to suddenly walk towards you a little bit. And then you start to speak again and it takes a few steps back and it turns and it runs away into the woods. And as it runs away, you suddenly see three more run away with it. Follow it away. That's where we'll leave the episode.
00:57:48
Speaker
Wow. There's always something watching us. Yeah. Yeah. Sweet Jesus. Oh, right. Oh, the outro.
00:58:05
Speaker
Thank you for listening to this episodic installment of the Hired Swords. Forgot to mention, we're going bi-weekly for the remainder of Season 2, and we'll continue that schedule on for Season 3 with potentially some different episode links. Thank you for sticking with us. Thank you for listening. It's just so nice to be here with you. We love you. Bye now.
00:58:42
Speaker
I mean, if you want to check out more of our stuff, you can just just Google the hired swords. All right. Yeah, I should I should I should go now.