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Pizza Every Friday Episode 1 - Hope Squad's Emma & Kaybre on Friendships and Relationships: Staying True to Yourself
23 Plays8 months ago
It's our first podcast episode! Join Emma and Kaybre as they navigate the waters of friendships and relationships, all while staying true to yourself!
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Transcript
Introduction to Relationships and Friendships
00:00:00
Jared Davis
Hi, I'm Cabry. And I'm Emma. Today's topic is relationships and friends. Um, Cabry, what does a healthy friendship and relationship look like to you?
Key Elements of Healthy Relationships
00:00:10
Jared Davis
I think a healthy relationship to me is somebody that you can communicate with and them being understanding of that we're all going to make mistakes. Yeah. And we're all human.
00:00:22
Jared Davis
and we all still are growing, and especially in junior high, we're all still testing the waters with relationships, so we all have, like, space to grow. Yeah. um And I think a healthy friendship is just somebody that you can talk to when you're down and someone that you can trust. Yeah.
00:00:42
Jared Davis
What do you think a healthy friendship and relationship looks like? I think a healthy friendship, like you said, someone honest and trustworthy because nobody – Nobody wants to be friends with somebody that's someone that just b blabs their mouth about your information the whole time.
00:00:58
Jared Davis
Yeah, like you need to trust the person. Yeah. And a healthy relationship, I completely agree. Communication is one of the biggest things in a relationship, along with
Challenges in Junior High
00:01:07
Jared Davis
trustworthy. Because if you don't have any trust, you don't have anything in your relationship. And especially with junior high, kids talk.
00:01:14
Jared Davis
All the time. Kids are going to say things that aren't true. And kids are going to see something that's going good and try to ruin it. ahhuh And so I think just talking to whoever you're dating or whatever about it, I think is a good way.
00:01:27
Jared Davis
I think that's a healthy relationship and getting getting over what they said and like working through problems. Yeah.
00:01:36
Jared Davis
Emma, how do you set boundaries and respect others' boundaries? Honestly, i think how to set boundaries is like um you don't,
00:01:48
Jared Davis
say somebody doesn't want you going and blabbing all their business around because that is not your story to tell. It's theirs. It's their own thing that happened to them that they want to tell people. And i think setting boundaries is, again, limiting yourself to telling other people things because some things you need to keep to yourself because not everybody needs to know your whole life, basically.
00:02:14
Jared Davis
Yes, I totally agree with that, but I also feel like Sometimes there's things that you just need to talk to somebody about. yeah And I think a problem with junior high kids is that they think they can trust their friends and then they talk to them about it. And then the friend goes and tells people the and then you figure out, well, I can't trust them. I thought I could.
00:02:34
Jared Davis
So maybe a safe spot, if you really are 100, if you can trust your friends, is tell, like, the counselor, people like that. Yeah. um But I do think a good way to set boundaries is really just talking to the person about it. Like, hey, I'm really not comfortable with this, or I'm not going to be comfortable with
Handling Peer Pressure
00:02:54
Jared Davis
if we did, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:02:55
Jared Davis
And just talking about it. And hopefully they respect your boundaries, because if they don't, then okay, maybe we're not going to work out. Yeah. And I think respecting their boundaries. If they come up to you and they talk to you about their boundaries, they obviously want y'all to work out.
00:03:10
Jared Davis
They want- 100%. They're talking to you about it. I mean, so I think just respecting that and be like, okay, I respect that. I'll wait until you're ready or- Well, like, also kind of like relationship way.
00:03:23
Jared Davis
Say you want a relationship with somebody, but they don't want one at the moment because- It's junior high, and everyone's trying to find their self and realize who they're going to be in the future.
00:03:37
Jared Davis
Yeah, and I think everyone in junior high is trying to live their life and have fun. Yeah. And so, yeah, I mean and I think if they are fully trying to, you know, have successful relationship, that they should be able to set boundaries and be able to respect them.
00:03:53
Jared Davis
Because if they want a relationship later on in the future, but they need time to find their self, I completely understand that. And I need to understand, or like, people need to understand where they're coming from.
00:04:04
Jared Davis
Yeah, I totally agree with that. Um, Kaybree, how can people handle peer pressure? I think a good way to handle peer pressure is just remembering your goals.
00:04:15
Jared Davis
And, I mean, i totally get it. Junior high is literally all about fitting in. Yeah. And I think it's really easier said than done. Yeah. Literally just to say no. And that if you're with a group of friends and they're all doing something bad, um,
00:04:30
Jared Davis
I mean, your instinct is to do it with them. I mean, you want to fit in. don't want to get made fun of. Yeah. But at the end of the day, at the end of the day, you have an option. Like, that is your decision. Yeah. You know you have a lot going for you. Like, you need to – You have goals, yeah. You have goals, yeah. You, like, you have stuff going for you, you know? Like, you can't just let it go with this one bad decision.
00:04:54
Jared Davis
And simply just saying no and hopefully your friends understand.
Control vs. Boundaries in Relationships
00:04:59
Jared Davis
And if not – maybe they're not good friends maybe if they're not good influences on you to get to your goal or aren't gonna help you get to your goal honey yeah you know yeah um like the definition basically of peer pressure is saying no and understanding where other people are coming from because one bad move can literally end some your goals yeah not saying it always will but it could yeah
00:05:26
Jared Davis
And really just respecting yourself and knowing I have a goal and this is not going to help me get to my goal. Yeah.
00:05:34
Jared Davis
Emma, when do you think you can recognize a controlling relationship? Honestly, a controlling relationship to me is when somebody is's like, hey, you can't go hang out with them. I don't like you hanging out with those guys or girls like that.
00:05:54
Jared Davis
You look like you want them over me. Yeah, I think seeing a toxic relationship and, like, controlling behavior is good to see it before it keeps happening. Like, stopping it. Like, okay, I'm sorry you don't like when I'm talking to these people, but, like, you also should trust me enough, you know? And I think there's a difference between, like... Controlling and boundaries. Again, with the boundaries.
00:06:18
Jared Davis
Yes, like, just setting boundaries and hopefully they respect it. um But I think toxic is, like... Toxic is... ah
00:06:32
Jared Davis
Toxic is like um controlling. Like, they want you to take over, basically. Like, they're not okay with you talking to this guy, so then they're going to get really mad at you.
00:06:45
Jared Davis
They're going get mad at you and don't want to you who hang out with them or something like that. But I think everybody needs to realize what toxic and controlling behavior is before it happens over and over again.
Conflict Resolution and Self-Awareness
00:06:57
Jared Davis
And then you're stuck in this puddle, basically.
00:07:00
Jared Davis
Yes. um How can you solve problems calmly, Kabrie? Kabrie, how can you solve problems calmly? I think just, I mean, if you...
00:07:13
Jared Davis
if you have a problem, just talk to the person about it. I wouldn't spread anything because I think in junior high and high school, words, word travels fast. And just, um, to talk to the person about it. Like, hey, did you say this?
00:07:30
Jared Davis
But I also think you need to be open. Like, if they're going to talk to you and open up, like, hey, I did say that. Yeah. Um, just be like, okay, well, don't say it again. But like, you know, just really being open and To that everyone is going to make mistakes and it's okay. Because the only way someone grows is by making mistakes. Exactly. And realizing what they did. Because no one is perfect. Yeah. And I think that if your friend tells you something not to just believe it.
00:07:55
Jared Davis
um Like to just go talk. Go talk to them about it. And if they say they didn't say it. Just let it be. You know. Just let it be.
00:08:06
Jared Davis
oh Emma. Uh huh. How do you think you can support your friends without losing yourself? I know that's a hard thing in junior high. Well, in junior high, a lot of jealousy happens.
00:08:17
Jared Davis
It really does. Because you see friends hanging out with other friends. You see social media posts and all this of them hanging out with other people. And you might not be in there, but you thought you were close with that group.
00:08:31
Jared Davis
But I think that you can be like, oh, hey, the photos look great that y'all posted. I hope y'all had fun But you're not trying to be sarcastic, but you're also not, but you're also trying to still understand yourself with being like, oh, I thought that I was part of that group.
00:08:49
Jared Davis
I totally get that. And I think that comes with, like, ah you're going to have those feelings. like Yeah. You're going to have that, oh, like, how, what did I do? Like, what can I do to be better? Like, you know, thinking, um like, putting yourself down for not being invited, you know, like that yeah is a big thing, like, in junior high and everything. Yeah. And I think you just need to know where your mental state's at. And if, I mean, you can't give your friends 100% or you can't be in a relationship and give them 100%, then maybe you're not ready for a relationship.
Realistic Views on Crushes and Relationships
00:09:22
Jared Davis
Yeah. Um, Kibri, can, what, how... how How do I understand what a crush dating introspect is and how it all goes into one thing?
00:09:34
Jared Davis
I think that's a big thing in junior high, especially um just I think kids in junior high and take relationships way too seriously.
00:09:47
Jared Davis
um Because I'm sorry to just break it to you right now, but most relationships are not going to last until marriage in junior high yeah if it does that's great like the percents are not high and um just knowing that try it but like it's not for everyone and i think going back to the respect and their boundaries and if you have a crush and they're not ready to date then like so be it like respect that and that's okay like most junior high kids just want to live their life
00:10:20
Jared Davis
But if, say that something does not go as planned in a relationship, but you want to try again, but they're not ready to try again, you have to be understanding with them.
00:10:33
Jared Davis
Yeah, because junior high, like, we're literally all going to make mistakes. We're still kids, like. Junior high is basically. a growing year, growing years. Yeah. Literally.
Traits of Healthy Relationships
00:10:42
Jared Davis
un
00:10:45
Jared Davis
And just really with dating, I don't think you should put your... all into dating your whole life like don't put your life on pause just for somebody else exactly and just knowing that and if this doesn't work it's okay like i love this person i really do but if it doesn't work like it is what it is like you know maybe future you'll find your way back to each other exactly but maybe just right now this time maturity is not all there so you can't stick without relationship
00:11:16
Jared Davis
like Okay, what are some green flags that you could list for a healthy relationship or friendship? Um, I think some green flags for literally goes for both, um, are, like, trust and respect.
00:11:31
Jared Davis
Um, and I don't know, i think a big thing is really just talking to the person. Literally, yeah like, I'm telling you, like, friendships, you need to be able to trust your friends. Like, if you know you cannot trust them, like,
00:11:46
Jared Davis
You shouldn't yeah tell them anything, honestly. um If a problem happens between your friendship and they don't want to work it out, they don't want to communicate, but you do because you think that you can make that relationship last.
00:11:59
Jared Davis
But they think, oh,
Recognizing Red Flags in Relationships
00:12:00
Jared Davis
it's fine. Like, we'll get over it later. i think that you have to realize that that right there is kind of starting to become a toxic relationship, honestly.
00:12:09
Jared Davis
Yes. And going on to toxic relationships, Emma, what do you think some red flags are? Honestly, red flags with toxic relationships are them hiding hiding stuff from me. Like, yes, say that they're sitting right next to me texting somebody, but they don't want to show me who it is because they think, oh, she'll think I'm cheating on her or he'll think I'm cheating on him.
00:12:34
Jared Davis
yeah But you have to be so honest with each other and communicate things. Because no relationship in junior high does not work out without communication. It really doesn't. No, it really doesn't. And you really just got to be upfront and honest.
00:12:47
Jared Davis
And I think being understanding, going back to all that. Yeah. It all just ties in together. um and I think red flags, like, just... Like, it's okay for them to talk to the opposite gender. I think that, but there's an there's an extinct. There's a limit, yeah. Extinct.
00:13:03
Jared Davis
Extinct. Yeah. And, I don't know, just also being respectful. Like, if you're dating somebody, if they're not comfortable with you doing something. Respect boundaries, yeah. Respect it. Be like, okay, I understand. Like, I wouldn't be okay
Conclusion
00:13:17
Jared Davis
with that either.
00:13:17
Jared Davis
Yeah. I think that was a great way to wrap up our first Hub Squad podcast. I think so, too. Hi, I'm Kay Reed. And I'm Emma. Thank you for listening to our first episode of the Hope Squad podcast.