Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Three Little Fishes. We're three sisters who grew up in the Midwest together, but have since spread across the country. I live in Los Angeles. I'm in Nashville. And I live in Philadelphia. We are all married with children, have all had careers, but now we stay at home with our families. Join us as we share secrets and stories about being women, wives, and mothers. We welcome you to laugh along, learn something new, reach out, and join our conversation.
Speaker: So let's jump in.
Speaker: What's up, fishes? Welcome back. What's up? Good to see you What's up, girls? It's so good to see you. um You know, we're just getting back from summer vacation, and I got woken up at 5.30 this morning by my team. He had to run.
Speaker: And I was like, what's going on? And he was like, oh, I'm going to work out. At 5.30? Yeah. I said he was clinking around. I thought there was a robber in the house. I'm like...
Speaker: What is going on here? All right. like So he's still on this health journey. Like he's been on this health journey for a while now. Yeah. He's still on it. And he's about to kill me.
Speaker: I'm just like, okay. So school started a week ago. and we're like getting up at 530, working out, waking up the dog, barking. The dog's barking, clanking around. I'm thinking there is a rut like serious or robber in the house.
Speaker: Yeah. You know, and the hard thing about 530 is it's like close enough to waking up time that you're like, do I fall back asleep and set my alarm? Do i like you lay there and you're kind of like staring at the ceiling? Like, do I get up and I go work out too? I was thinking, am I lazy? Am I like getting up? Did he invite you to come with him? No. Let's go look weight.
Speaker: No, he did not. And I was like, okay, this is way too early for me. And I was like, I was hoping my dog would go back to sleep and just be quiet. But I was like, my husband's out of town. I'm like, I'm by myself. I'm like, please, everybody just be quiet.
Speaker: Well, you sound perky for being up so early. So good job. No, I mean, it's been rough. I mean, this for this first week of school is rough. but Yeah. Yeah. Well, we've already ended up back at the doctor already with, um, in sports already. And we haven't been in school that long. So Riley is supposed to now rest for a week.
Speaker: And I heard all about it yesterday about how he doesn't really want to rest. He's ready to go. yeah But I was like, dude, you heard the doctor. It's not me. You know, it's hard to because he's a senior. So it's like that final stretch of all that competitive sports. And you're just like so in it and it's so fun and you don't want to miss out on anything. Yeah.
Speaker: But yet your body's telling you you got to slow down. yeah Sitting on these boys sometimes is just really hard. Yeah. And then you know what? I'm kind of envious because I was a tennis player and I liked it, but I don't think I loved it. Like Riley truly loves soccer. Yeah. And then I'm like – Have I ever left a sport like my son does?
Speaker: No, i don't think so. You know what? and that the Same question. am I lazy? i don't know. Well, this is this is actually an interesting subject because I'm looking at my son right now and I'm like...
Speaker: am I just a sloth? Like you think I eat terrible? you think I'm like fat? You think I just don't do anything? Because he acts like, you know, we don't provide him the exact nutrients that he needs. We don't, you know, exercise as much as he does. We don't, um I'm just like, what is going on here?
Speaker: I'm like, stop judging me. i'm pretty I'm like a pretty fit person. like You are You do a lot every day. yeah I mean, you do more than me. I mean, like i these teenagers will kill you. Seriously. yeah yeah And I'm just like, maybe they're to the extreme. I'm kind of am realizing maybe he's just like to the extreme and I don't know, but we need to find a balance because I feel like it's a little too much.
Speaker: You know why they have all this extra energy? Because we do everything else for them. We do their grocery shopping. and We do their laundry. Like we provide all the things that they need. So of course, like they have all this extra energy. Totally makes sense.
Speaker: I know. i' i I'm trying to make him successful, certainly, but he makes me feel bad about myself sort of. and like I don't know Yeah. alone All right, you guys. On today's show, we are going to talk about what's the buzz, um the friend train, and what's for dinner.
Speaker: But before we get into it, I just want to remind you guys to please hit that subscribe button and invite your favorite fishes to jump in and join our conversation. All right, What's buzz?
Speaker: What's the buzz? Well, one thing I finished watching is season two of The Gentleman with Theo James as the main character. And it's like, if you haven't watched it, it's like a little bit of a crazy, sort of like a Breaking Bad kind of like concept. It's very outrageous. There's a little bit of violence. There's a lot of violence. There's a lot of violence. But then it's like so outrageous. You're just like, oh my gosh, my husband does not like it at all. Like he watched maybe the first episode with me and he thought that the brother was just like so ridiculous and his decision-making annoyed him. So he was out like early, but I found it kind of like, because it was so outrageous, it kind of made me not feel like the violence like bothered me too much.
Speaker: But anyway, if you haven't checked it out, like, I think the gentleman is really good. i am all in on this show. i think, first of all, he is adorable. i mean, he's a yummy little snack. Yeah. I love watching him.
Speaker: Yeah. But it is a little violent, especially the second season. There's some surprises that I'm like, whoa. Yeah. This has gotten like really intense, but I'm still watching. So, you know, I'm i'm like, when is the third season coming out? I know. I'm ready to.
Speaker: I'm ready to. The other thing I did watch, and I don't think you girls watch, and I... keep trying to get people to watch this show is slow horses season four just dropped and I binged it and it's so good I mean it's just really well written and yeah the cast is unbelievable I mean Gary Oldman and Kristen um You know, from ah the English gentleman and the four weddings and a funeral. i can't remember what last name is. But anyway, it's really well written. Stewart? Is it Kristen Stewart?
Speaker: No. No, that's not right. Kristen Scott. Yes. Kristen Scott. Nice. You're right. Yeah. So um anyway, Slow Horses is incredible. If you like a spy drama.
Speaker: Is Gary Ullman in that? He is. And he yeah plays such a character. It's just like so good. he just was nominated for an Emmy. I don't think he won, but he um he was just nominated for an Emmy for that role. And he deserves it because he's really good in it. you know i Speaking of it speaking of the Emmys, um,
Speaker: They just did a big nod to Catherine O'Hara and they had on Macaulay Culkin who never goes on TV or very rarely anymore and Dan Levy and um who's the girl, Ann Murray from Schitt's Creek. And they did this beautiful nod to her and it was so sweet.
Speaker: It was so sweet. And they did a nod to Dolly, Dolly Parton. I know. That's so sad. She just died. And Linda, speaking of Dolly Parton, Nashville Airport is trying to rename it. Yeah. So, I mean, and I think it was kind of talked about before she passed.
Speaker: And, i mean, people in Tennessee... Adore her. There is never a bad word that is said about her. She was and just an absolute groundbreaking business person. And yeah I think it is going to get renamed. I don't think that the not the like letters are going to change. It's BNA.
Speaker: um i don't think that's changing but they are gonna rename it it's gonna take a little bit of time to get the signage and stuff like that done but i do think it's been approved and um you know it's well deserved like she was just an amazing human so what was her what was she known for saying too it's like um don't forget to pass your smile on to somebody or yeah like You know, she was always trying to pass kindness on. Yeah. She was a very generous human, i think. Yeah. um You know, she did her imagination library, which has gotten some serious donations, too. She's really helped with the literacy problem and some of the, like, less fortunate things.
Speaker: counties in Tennessee and beyond. So her legacy lives on and I think it will live on at the airport. So come i feel the need check it out. I think we all need to get hats or shirts. You know, they, I think they sell them in Tennessee. You know, what would Dolly do? Yeah. I like that saying, right. Like she' we could all be more like Dolly. Yeah. She was like an incredible human. So, so speaking of like, we could all be more like Dolly, like thinking about like the friends and the friend train,
Speaker: and this was brought up to you Linda, I think, yeah because you were talking to a friend of yours. Yeah. and she was saying that she feels like some friendships for her are changing and that she has been like surprised and maybe gotten her feelings hurt. And it got us thinking about like, even as we're adults, friendships change and evolve and um it got us thinking about this concept of the friend train. So let's jump in. So I have a friend who a couple months ago said something to me. She was like kind of venting about like this group of friends that she's had. And she has an older sister and her older sister was like, I don't know what your problem is. Like, this is part of life. Yeah.
Speaker: That's such an older sister thing to say, by the way. What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you? Get over it. Yeah. Like, you know, life, you're a train and your life is the tracks and people get on and off your train and sometimes they stay on forever. And And so it made her feel better to think, yeah, this is such a normal thing. But we sisters started thinking about it because like Nancy has somebody going into middle, you know, starting middle school. And then we have high schoolers, we have college students and each phase of life has these friend challenges
Speaker: Particularly when you're in middle school, like trying to teach your children how to be a good friend and what to tolerate and what not to tolerate. Well, middle middle school is hard, right? Middle school is hard. Mean girls and petty. Yes.
Speaker: But I was kind of thinking like friendship's hard at any age. You know, we maybe get more skills to manage through it. But when people get off your train, hurts. It hurts.
Speaker: You know, sometimes it's mutual and sometimes it's not. And we were just kind of thinking about like friends. The friendship thing is really tough. And I was kind of looking up like, how do people become friends? And then I was trying to think like, why do people get off your train?
Speaker: And I was reading this article that was saying like a lot of friendships blossom out of shared time and experiences. So that's why when we have little kids, you know you're in your mommy and me group or the music group or the theater or the sports or the PTA or whatever, and you spend so much time with these people that you feel bonded to them because you're having the shared experience. And when you move out of that shared experience, sometimes the friendship doesn't move with you. And that makes sense. But then sometimes the friendship, like the shared experience stays, but then somehow you lose that,
Speaker: friendship for whatever reason. and that is when it kind of stings or, I don't know, i it's hard. i i never really thought about life as being a train track and me being the train and people getting on and off as passengers. But I do, I think it's like a good analogy for life. What do you guys think?
Speaker: Well, I mean, I think I've had to move a couple of times during my adulthood and I made some really good friends in some cities that I lived in. And then it's like I moved.
Speaker: And then it's like, you think you'll be friends with them forever. And then I don't know, you try, but i think because you're not with them on a daily basis, it's just really hard.
Speaker: And it's not to say that they wouldn't say like they're your friend, but it's not like an everyday call where you're like, hey, hey, what's going on or whatever. Yeah. You know what i mean?
Speaker: i do. And that's kind of like the part of moving. um i think that... that I mean, I'm definitely protective about my train.
Speaker: Like, I really want people to be... Kathy, I'm aware that you are protective of your train. Like, I mean, listen, if you're on your train, you want to be there. But if you do something and you get off the train, you're out. You're not getting back on. There's no stop for you to come back on.
Speaker: Well, it's like, it's not a ah cheap class ticket, right? like it's like First class, all the way. am i i think you, I value my friendships, right? So yeah you're either on or you're off.
Speaker: It's like, you know, people go through hard times or whatever. It's like, are you willing to like be with them or not? And I think, you know, I'm a good friend and I feel like I don't want anyone to get off, but I don't know why people choose to get on and off, but it is a tricky situation because I feel like I'm a good friend.
Speaker: And i honestly, i I don't know why people choose to like, Get off. So for you, it sounds like when you made good friends from places that you lived before and then you had to move and people have chosen not to move with you on your train, it sounds like to me that that hurts your feelings because even though you moved geographically, you still...
Speaker: wanted to be friends with them. Like that didn't change for you like it did for them. Yeah. I mean, I would still consider them my friend, even though I moved, like you can call me up and tell me what's going on or whatever. yeah I just think sometimes friendships are very surface and people have to be willing to be like, you have to make the effort.
Speaker: I think is what I'm trying to say is that you have to like nurture those people and like, yeah be willing to be there for them. And i I feel like I am, and maybe some people feel like I'm not, but no. mean, and I agree. i Having that debt that those very deep friendships, I think are few and far between, honestly, because you have to be so vulnerable and expose your underbelly on such a deep level and consistently, and that needs to be mutual. So you've you know you're sharing your heart with those deep friendships. yeah And then there's like,
Speaker: You know, the friends that are just really because you're sports friends. I don't know. i i agree. Those deep friendships are probably very sacred. And then when that breaks, for whatever reason, that is extra painful.
Speaker: I think for me. mean, is it a friend and an acquaintance, different things? I think maybe they are, you know. i mean, I think for me, I recently, I guess it's been like a year now.
Speaker: But like I had a very good friend and she's a family friend. And I like I would have thought she was my ride or die forever. Like literally we grew up together. Yeah. Went through these like my like all these stages. Like she you all know her knew very well, too.
Speaker: I. I don't know if you guys know that song, Casey Musgraves, but she had the singer and she has a song called Irish Goodbye. and every time my daughter hears it on the radio now or in the car playing, she's like, this is what your friend did to you, which is right. Like the Irish goodbye is they just drop off. They don't say goodbye. they So it's like about a year ago, i saw her with you guys with our family we'd hung out one afternoon um and
Speaker: I thought it was like all normal, hugs goodbye. and then i we I didn't hear from her again. She literally like just like left my left my train. And I have no idea what happened that afternoon that caused her to not want to speak to me. I have no idea. i wish I would have known. But I think what cut me to the core even deeper is I thought we were right or die.
Speaker: and it I think an Irish goodbye is so cruel and so mean. And it's like, to Our friendship, I thought it was a deep-rooted friendship. And if something happened and I hurt you so badly in that afternoon, i wish I would know what it is so I could at least apologize or rectify it.
Speaker: Right. Yeah. um But to not even give me that courtesy to tell me what was so egregious, I have, I literally have no idea. Like I literally have no idea. yeah And it, I felt like I kind of got a divorce on some level, like of being like, I'm like crushed to the core. Like, you know, like i was not understanding what happened. That was a hard passenger to lose.
Speaker: And then like, you know, and just anyway, so it's been a weird thing. And then I like, okay, like, I think I've come to terms with it. And then every now and then it will bubble up and I'll like process it again.
Speaker: um But it's, it's a weird thing, right? So it's like, as you're saying, people get on and off your train and sometimes you just, you don't know why. and sometimes, you know, it is what it is.
Speaker: I mean, I will confess, I feel like I've had times where I've been a good friend and I've had times where I've, been not a good friend. Like I get myself busy and then I don't make phone calls and I don't reach out like I should. Yeah. um But then I feel think that's life.
Speaker: That's human nature. Yeah. I mean... I think you girls are probably better at that than I am. But like I recently had somebody that i started in the business world with and we were really good friends and we went to each other's weddings, but then we got busy with life and we lived in different places.
Speaker: And she came back and called and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so happy you hear from you. And we visited with each other and vowed to like keep our friendship going better, like do a better job. But it just felt like, you know, old times when we chatted. So I felt like that was such a deep...
Speaker: friendship and I was so happy to have it rekindled. So I think there is hope. If people get off your train, they can't get back on as long as you both are aware like, okay, we we fell down, like we didn't do it right or like let's do better or But if you've, I don't think you can get back on like this friend of yours that walked away. i mean, I just don't think there's any coming back from it because there's been zero communication. So it's like the the cut is so deep.
Speaker: How do you recover from that? Well, i also think like when people go through some hard times, sometimes people are more quiet, right? Yeah. Like I think I'm that way. i i I'm probably not as vocal or whatever. Yeah.
Speaker: And maybe that's a sign, like, you should reach out to that person and be like, what's going on? Like, sometimes people are more vocal about problems or whatever, and needing help, or there's, you know, a relationship strained or whatever.
Speaker: I mean, there's a two way street there. so I feel like some of my friends sometimes are not as good about that. i mean, if I'm being honest, but, you know, i think you just have to nurture those relationships, I think is what the key is. And, you know, hopefully, you know, you can resolve those issues.
Speaker: Well, I think that now this, like this stage in my life, and what I hopefully I'm teaching my kids is, is that you want to pick friendships that care about you as much as you care about them, right? And you, yeah like, especially at this stage of my life, I know I can be a lot. I can be loud.
Speaker: i can be, you know, i can be, um I know I can be a lot sometimes. I have a lot of energy. um if You know, i know that sometimes. But I feel like the people that I have in my life now,
Speaker: hopefully know that my intent is pure and I want to be supportive and I really come from a place of love. And if I'm too much, I hope that they know that they can tell me and then I can adjust or you know, i know it's important to sometimes listen and not always talk.
Speaker: And I want my kids to find those friendships that will give you a little grace, even when you're being a lot, right? Like I think this friend that came off my train, i think it surprised me because I didn't expect it.
Speaker: And if she doesn't want to be on my train, that's fine. And I tried to like, I tried to come around to ask if she was okay or what could I do? and there was just nothing. yeah I do feel like I also don't want to be abused by somebody who I thought was a friend to me.
Speaker: it's a cruel and abusive to just yeah to to behave that way. So it's like, there's there's this there's this balance of, yeah, wanting to make sure that you're nurturing these relationships and you're finding balance as opposed to also being abused by them as well, even as we're adults. Well, you know, it's so interesting you're saying that. And I totally 100% agree. Like my son just experienced some of this too, not to that degree, but he,
Speaker: transferred colleges and went through rush. And it was a very opening experience for him. Because a couple of houses that he had good friend, good friends, and I'm using air quotes, if you're not watching us. um And he got cut from a couple of places. Now he landed someplace that he's super happy, but like he said to me, mom, you know, I really have figured out who my friends are and who yeah who are not my friends, you know? And he's my social, my very social child. And has kind of this like wide tarp out there of like connections. And he said, you know, it was really a rude awakening to see who stands up for you and who your friend, true friends are.
Speaker: um And I think, you know, it's probably valuable to learn that in your late teens. Yeah. You know, it kind of arms you a little bit for the next phase of life Yeah, you want a train that has people that love you and that are your true friends. I mean, that's what we want. We all want a full train, right? Well, I think it doesn't matter.
Speaker: i mean, just to kind of wrap it up. I mean, i don't think it matters how long your train is, but like things that I'm trying to keep in mind and try to remind my kids, particularly my daughter in middle school right now is who fills you up?
Speaker: Who makes you feel safe? Who lets you be yourself? And who is... um Instead of taking all the air, who's giving more of it, right? so And it's just something for us all to kind of keep in mind is that, you know, the world is hard, life can be hard and we want our train to be filled with people that are supportive. And hopefully we're also those people, those we're also giving that kind of support back to our friends. Yes, I agree. i agree. All right, y'all, what's for dinner? Okay, so we were talking about friends. I think, you know,
Speaker: when I have girlfriends over for dinner or lunch, more lunch than dinner, but dinner, i like to do a big entree salad and then like a cold glass of wine, you know maybe some bread. I love how it's always, we were like, well, let's eat healthy, but where's the wine? Where's the wine? so um we're going to put a recipe out there for a Southwestern chicken salad. That's just full of protein and, um,
Speaker: you know, good nutritious things that you can share with your girlfriends and you feel like you're eating healthy and it's filling you up. And again, it goes great with a nice crisp glass of white wine and some crusty sourdough bread that we've been making and um a light dressing. So we'll post that so you guys can all give it a try at your houses. Yeah. So speaking of the sourdough, like I don't, I'm still on the sourdough starter kick. yep I don't know how many of you guys still are, but if you are still on the sourdough kick, like I am, I am obsessed with using the discard yes because I just don't want to throw it away. right so i found this banana bread sourdough discard recipe that I took. I just happened to take to this get together
Speaker: the other day and I made it for the first time and this bread was a hit. It takes like a cup of start of discard. Which is great because like it you keep feeding it and like it just. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: It was so great. Everybody raved about it. So I'm going to also post this. If you are into still making sourdough and you have like starter and you want to use your discard, I'm telling you this loaf was a hit and it made like a big loaf plus like a small loaf.
Speaker: So it it went far. Yeah. Okay. And I tell you what I did a little bit different in and this recipe too, is that I sprinkled, and Linda, you gave me this tip. Before I put in the oven, I sprinkled some brown sugar on top and it got really golden. Yeah, that's a secret.
Speaker: caramely on top it was so delicious so after you eat your healthy salad um you can have you have a big piece of banana bread yeah yeah i'm telling you or you could skip the salad all together and just you know have the wine and bread right we only like your what's in our prayers we don't care it up We want to thank you for listening to our podcast and letting us sisters jump into your day.
Speaker: Please make sure to follow, rate, and review us. Please make sure to hit the subscribe button. We would love to hear from you. Have a wonderful weekend. Sisters out.
