Introducing Iman Hariri Kiyar
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Speaker
Oh, a spicy question. love it. Because the writing is sort of everything, right? Like can fix plot holes, but if the writer... So some readers love that and some readers are like, but I wanted more of this. So it's kind of, it's kind of a gamble.
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Speaker
Hello and welcome back to the Right and Wrong podcast on... Today's episode, I am joined by an author, editor and journalist and a Forbes 30 Under 30 honoree, fresh off the release of her third novel.
00:00:28
Speaker
It's Iman Hariri Kiyar. Hello. Hello. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to chat with you today. Thank you so much for being here with me. Let's jump right in.
Exploring 'Female Fantasy'
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um We always like to start with the the latest publication, which is Female Fantasy. It's out right now.
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Tell us a little bit about it. Well, female fantasy follows a woman named Junie who keeps breaking up with the men that she's dating because she is hyper fixated on the hero of a fictional romantic series that...
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revolves around sexy mermaids. um She is absolutely obsessed with this character. He's completely raised the standards for what she considers she deserves in a relationship and everyone else in her personal life seems to fall short.
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But when she learns that the author of the series based that character off of someone that she knows in real life, she decides to embark on an epic quest to meet him and find out if soulmates really do exist.
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But... Of course, like any true heroine's journey, she's immediately met with trials and tribulations along the way, and she has to use skills that she learned from reading romance to fight her way towards happily ever
Romance as a Power Player
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ah This book truly was so healing, so much fun to write. It is one half campy, mer-romanticy, one half like a true contemporary rompcom,
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And fully 100% a wholehearted love letter to genre, to the romance community and to fandom. That sounds great.
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So i I imagine we can deduce from that, that you are a big ah romance reader. I'm a massive romance reader. I'm a massive fangirl.
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ah i think that you can tell that even the teasing and the satire that this book is enriched by, it's so tongue-in-cheek and reverent.
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It's very much, a I'm in on the joke, I'm laughing with you, not at you, because I, too, have fallen down the rabbit hole of searching for clues in an author's announcement.
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I, too, have... annotated my pages so much that the ink starts to bleed through and you can't even tell what was originally written on the page. and This is truly, ah yeah, it's this is truly for me like a magnum opus and also something that I've been meditating on thinking about my entire life.
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But the message only became clearer and clearer to me as I started working professionally in publishing. um and experiencing the the condescension that the romance community is met with on a daily basis.
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That's true, despite it being like one of the biggest, like most thriving ah genres of publishing. Despite it being billion-dollar industry that props up the rest of publishing, that allows debuts and you know literary fiction to be tested and sold on mass audiences, that wouldn't be possible without genre fiction. So um it's just interesting who is the one doing the finger pointing and who are the ones that are expected to just sort of take it. um it's a
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Speaker
It's a great study in power structures and power imbalances. Yes, yes, I mean, that's, that's a whole, and that's a whole rabbit hole that we could fall down. and ah want to pick up on, you said that you'd been thinking about this for, for, for a long time, many, many years. This has been sort of like percolating in the back of your mind.
00:04:24
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Um, yeah but I saw that this came out. So obviously this came out quite recently, October, 2025.
Publishing Process Insights
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your previous book came out in 2024 so it's actually a pretty quick ah turnaround so like once you once everything had solidified in your head was it quite quick and and how quick you wrote the story Well, so publishing, or at least traditional publishing, moves monumentally slowly.
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So by the time readers receive a physical copy of a book in their hands, the author has likely been working on said book for at least three years, which is quite crazy to right think about, right?
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um And my debut was published in 2022, but i had been working on it for maybe five years, if you've consider like like the ideation and conception phase part of working on a book, which I definitely do.
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And that novel to me felt much more like ah throat clearing. um i was operating from a place of like,
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anger and vengeance in a lot of ways. I wrote about an industry that I had worked in for about a decade, journalism, and I had a lot of very specific points I wanted to make.
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And I really wanted to capture what I saw as the truth about the magazine industry, about the direction of media, or at least the truth as I had witnessed and experienced it firsthand.
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um My second novel, the most famous girl in the world went in a different direction. um it was a campy satirical thriller about celebrity culture and, ah parasocial relationships.
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And it is a wild, chaotic, very funny, fun ah ride.
Writing Journey: From Anger to Joy
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And i I think that when I wrote that book, I was operating more so from a place of fear because I had gone from sort of naively working on my fiction in a bubble of my own making, you know, riding by the seat of my pants, unclear what publishing would have in store for me. Everything felt like an opportunity that could go away at any time.
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Speaker
So when I got a second chance at doing it all over again, I was crippled by this anxiety of, you know, who is this for? How do I appease everybody? And the voices in my head were so crowded that um in a lot of ways, it took me a while to hear my own.
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Speaker
So I kind of went in the opposite direction. I thought, I'm not going to write a book for everyone. I'm going to write a book for no one. And the people that love it will love it. um And it was very, i think, monumental for me to have these two experiences because I wrote female fantasy in the quiet ah months between the publication of 100 Other Girls and The Most Famous Girl in the World. so And female fantasy is the first book that I really wrote from a place of joy and love. And I genuinely really think that when you read it
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you can tell how much fun I had working on it. um It leaps off of the page. The prose is joyful and funny and and feels very much like homage.
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it feels like an ode to the great romantic series and, i don't know, like the framework of not just like romance authors, but letter writers and diary entries and the great practice of returning to the page in romance that like women and marginalized people have been participating in for centuries.
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I think you can feel that that reverence and joy when you read the book. And it totally changed the experience of writing it for me. And that's why I sort of say, oh, this is, it's been a healing process because I really fell back in love with the craft of writing. um It was a wonderful reminder that the best part of writing a book is actually the writing of the book.
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Speaker
ah And I hey think that also in the end of the day, and having ah book that, you know, you're coming at it from ah place of calm and that you've decided this is no longer a chance, but a career, it creates like a different sense of status when you're, when you're writing, because you're not constantly hoping you're holding your breath, um, afraid that like the next sentence will be your last. And,
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I don't know. I think that all of that um I'm hopeful comes across in female fantasy. So yeah, it's in some ways it was short, like in short, in some ways it took the full three years for me to,
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idea ideate, write, and
Romance as a Political Act
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publish. But in other ways, I do believe that this is something that was percolating in the back of my brain for a long time because, as I mentioned, I've been a romance reader my entire life.
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Speaker
I found romance as the young as like EYA romance at the so Scholastic Book Fair. Yeah. And I felt just so grounded by the characters in YA and romance because I really feel like the genre is a true study in humanity and connection and like love in all its forms, not just romantic, but platonic and familial and self-love and you know growing up.
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Speaker
In the States, with a foot in two different worlds, the child of immigrants feeling really like a fish out of water. These are the books that sort of like helped me understand and perceive my own personhood more.
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but as But as that's happening, at the exact same time that's happening, I immediately start to get feedback from the adults in my life that, these aren't the kinds of books I should be reading seriously, that these were trivial books, that they were guilty pleasures, that they were trashy.
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And I was sort of encouraged to either suppress or hide um my love of the genre. But luckily i am extremely stubborn and not only refused to do so, but I doubled down. And now, now here we are decades later.
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That's great. I mean, i just hearing you talk about it, you can hear the enthusiasm. It sounds like your your first two novels, were you finding a sort of outlet to to express your kind of frustration with the world and and the kind of troubled things that you did. And then this one is just an expression of pure joy for the thing that you love and that you just kind of are having fun and playing with.
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Absolutely. I think like my, I don't, I think that, A hundred other girls, definitely, i would say you can read the frustration um and you feel that tension. The Most Famous Girl was more so like, okay, I said what I had to say.
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Now what do I want to say? And I looked around and I took stock of you know, the cultural zeitgeist and social trends. And that story came to me quickly because it was all, you know, grifters and scam artists and our obsession with bad people that make us feel good about ourselves. It felt like the undercurrent, but like the pulse of ah of society at the time.
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um But I think like with female fantasy, I was really thinking about, you know, yes, I could easily complain about the ways in which romance treated as this sort of like trivial, perverted, escapist landscape.
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um And I do, but I would so much rather speak with passion and vigor about how reading romance is actually inherently political.
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And every time you pick up a romance novel, you are engaging in a practice that ah seeks to chip away you know, centuries is old patriarchal structures that impact every single part of the world that we live in one sentence at a time.
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I worked in sex and relationships for what, uh, 10 years. And as ah sex and relationships editor, I really learned and my big red flag, other than my desire to bring mermaids back into the cultural discussion is that I really do believe that all social inequities can be traced back to the sex education system, at least in the States, ah our access to medically accurate sex education is extremely limited and it creates a a social conundrum in which women and marginalized people are isolated and have to learn about
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their bodies and their relationships and and everything from, you know, sexuality and gender identity to sexual health and consent education in silo.
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And um that really disenfranchises them from a very young age. Yeah. the coolest part about romance and not just romance as it's existed for centuries, but what's happened in modern day to romance in the last five to 10 years is that Women and marginalized people who have discovered romance are starting to take back that power, um one book recommendation at the time, because when romance readers are loud and proud about their love of reading, when they form community online on social media or through book clubs or book swaps or book recommendation videos, when they allow others to ask questions about healing from sexual trauma
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or kink exploration, or communication and boundary building, what they're doing is they're creating powers through numbers. And knowledge is the true root of all power. And by refusing to safeguard and create this like taboo around reading and exploring anything that like centers pleasure, undoing like i'm doing a great mechanism that seeks to keep you like small and quiet because it benefits those that have been in power for a long, long time.
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And I truly, I believe that so much. And that's why i really do think that like, A romance novel can be as silly and predictable and frothy as you want it to be, or it can be as like short and dirty and dark as you want it to be.
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And still you are making like an inherent inherently political badass choice by reading it. and then meditating on it, contending with it, discussing with it.
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So yeah, I mean, this is like, i I'm sure you can tell, like this is truly something that I am so passionate about.
Romance Genre's Impact and Conversations
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gets me so excited talking about it.
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And um I really feel like I am in a position where I can approach this topic of discussion, not just as a lifelong fan of the genre, but also as someone who has a background and and in sex education and sex and relationships, journalism, um and understand that it's it's part of a much, much larger tradition and practice.
00:16:32
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. Lots of food for thought there. Big, big speech. I'm sorry. No, it's great. It's great to hear your enthusiasm and and passion for the genre as a whole and what, you know, what it, what it stands for. um And even if you don't realize it, the kind of impact that it's having just by you engaging with something.
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Speaker
Um, I was going to bring up the sex education stuff because you also had a YouTube series about it. yeah I wanted to know, Oh, you know about No Shame Sex Ed? It's, i mean, it's on your website. So you directed me there.
00:17:04
Speaker
Sure, but I don't think anyone ever has asked me about that. I'm, I'm very impressed. The main thing I wanted to ask was, yeah you know, having done that, that experience of doing that, you're very comfortable talking about sex and um relationships and things, which is something that often people are kind of a bit closeted about and don't want to talk about so publicly, it can be awkward to discuss those things.
00:17:28
Speaker
Does that make it easier when you're writing um to write like ah like a particularly spicy scene? Yeah. Look, I think that like sex is like any topic that makes people uncomfortable by exposing to yourself to it and and bringing it up in conversation more often and reading about it and contenting with it on a regular basis.
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It will start to lose its power and it's ability to like frighten and cause anxiety and feel like a taboo structure that you can't go close to. i like, I wasn't always comfortable talking about sex in this way.
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was something that i had to learn through like repetition and looking at it from a, you know, more academic perspective. And I don't know, I think that like one of the ways in which, since my language is so important,
00:18:26
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one of the ways that, um, I would not to say women and marginalized people again, but we are of stripped of that power is by encouraging people to feel uncomfortable and almost puritanical around the concept of sex, because at least in American society, young boys and men, young men are very like loud and outspoken about sex from a young age. And that's because they have access through what sex education is offered in popular media to, you know, the ways in which they can seek pleasure through penetrative sex.
00:19:03
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And also that leads to joking about masturbation, joking about porn. Like these are the roots of locker room talk. Women don't have something similar.
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And that's why I i do consider it you know, part of my job to talk about sex brazenly and without shame because I don't think there's anything embarrassing about it.
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um And then in terms of writing sex scenes, I will say I find sex scenes... incredibly difficult to write and because I want the sex scene to always feel earned and never gratuitous.
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I want the sex scene to work seamlessly inside of the character narrative. I want so much tension and yearning to be building towards the sex scene. And then i want the sex scene to feel like an organic reflection of where the people are at in their relationship.
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I want them to formulate a new conclusion at the end of the sex scene. It needs to in some way propel the story forward. And I really have, I think that writing, chemistry, pure, honest chemistry, a quiet moment of understanding shared between two people is a lot more challenging than writing snappy dialogue or a big explosion.
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and it is one of the most challenging, ah most challenging parts of writing contemporary fiction. And so I have, I left a female fantasy with even more respect um for authors of genre fiction because I do think that, you know, writing, writing connection um and capturing that sort of like lightning in a bottle is way, way, way harder to do on page than
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it might seem in your head. So more credit where credit's due, for sure. Yeah, absolutely. Because you're you're not just writing chemistry between two characters, you're also writing, you need to have the chemistry working between two characters and then also the reader connecting with at least one of the characters.
Crafting Chemistry and Sex Scenes
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Speaker
Yep. It's, it's one of, it's really, really The masters of the craft contemporarily, i'm constantly just in awe of how good they are and how they're able to say so much in so few words and sentences. i think like the great romance authors today are able to capture a feeling without spelling it out for the reader. And I'm just constantly in awe of them.
00:21:56
Speaker
And i don't I don't think that being... um brazen about sex necessarily makes me a better writer of spicy scenes. You know, just because I'm comfortable talking about sex doesn't mean that um I am just sort of able to skip all of the hard work that goes into making sure scene is, is, um, tightly written and clear and concise and dripping with chemistry and both leaves the readers feeling satisfied and wanting more, um
00:22:33
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Those are all things that require skill and patience and many revisions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, but, so I've spoken to some of my writing friends about this and there is a sort of consensus that they're fine writing sex scenes and they're fine for like their book to go out and stuff, but they do sort of try to block out in their minds that their parents and their grandparents are going to read those scenes. Do you feel like that as well?
00:23:00
Speaker
Yeah. Okay, I love this question. i So the good news about me is that I have been scandalizing my family for many years because of my background in sex and relationships. um So I really prepared them for the possibility that like something like this might happen one day.
Family Reactions to Novel Content
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man My sophomore novel, The Most Famous Girl in the World, was the first to include graphic open door sex scenes. And and I gave the advance copy of that book to my parents. I marked it ah like with sticky notes.
00:23:34
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I said, you know, sex ahead, maybe skip. And neither of my parents skipped it. They both chose to read it, and which I was very shocked by So when the time came around for female fantasy,
00:23:50
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you know, I, I warned them. I said, this book has two sex scenes. One is a contemporary sex scene. One is pretty freaky. Like it's, it's ah a mermaid sex scene. Like, please be prepared.
00:24:02
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um, they had two very different reactions. my My mother immediately called my younger sister and said, oh my God, have you read Iman's sex scene? Have you read it in her latest novel? And my my younger sister was like,
00:24:22
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Mom, I don't want to talk to you about this. Like, what made you think i would want to compare notes about this? And immediately ended that conversation before it started. and then my father took a different approach in which...
00:24:38
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He wrote pages and pages of analytical notes and basically approached it from an academic perspective. And I think in that way, he created some mental distance but between who wrote it and what was on page.
00:24:56
Speaker
um So, it you know, about 20 minutes into him um comparing parts of of the novel to traditional literature, i maybe zoned out a little bit and I said, you know what, Bubba, you, you got this one. Um, but yes, I, I think like, I,
00:25:17
Speaker
It was something that at first gave me a little bit of anxiety. But um now that, you know, this is my third novel and um I feel a lot more confident um in my ability to write Spice, um i I just feel like people should know what they're getting themselves into. Yeah.
00:25:41
Speaker
And yeah, similarly to my my FMC Junie, something I love about that girl is whenever anyone tries to make her feel uncomfortable for being who she is or loving what she loves, she looks them square in the eye and challenges them. So I'm learning to just look people square in the eye. Yeah.
00:26:01
Speaker
Okay, great. Awesome. um i I love that range of experience from your from your parents there. um Before we ah head over to the Woodland Cabin, i just have one more question for you. I feel like I had to ask with, you know, female fantasy, what it's about and everything.
00:26:18
Speaker
In romantic fiction, of which I imagine you've read a lot, do you have an ultimate, a favorite book boyfriend?
Favorite Book Boyfriends
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So I've been getting this question a lot. and So at on my tour stop in Brooklyn, I got asked what was the greatest love story of all time, which really is the worst question I've ever been asked. that' I looked, i was in conversation with Casey McQuiston and I said, Casey, do you know?
00:26:49
Speaker
and we both sort of looked at each other like this is an evil line of of inquiry. But I ultimately said, this is probably extremely cheesy, but I think like all roads lead back to Pride and Prejudice. I think that Darcy, i really do think that Darcy is like the genesis of so many like grumpy boyfriends in popular culture.
00:27:15
Speaker
Oh yeah. Like so many people are trying to recreate the tension ah um between darson and li Darcy and Lizzie. So um I always sort of find myself meandering back to him um in contemporary romance.
00:27:33
Speaker
I think Emily Henry's Gus Everett is um ah it's almost like a Darcy, an evolved unevolved version of Darcy. If he was writing...
00:27:48
Speaker
bestselling literary fiction and dealing with his childhood drama. ah And I always hearken back to that ah novel because it really was one of the, I feel like contemporary romance novels that brought romance back into the mainstream conversation and created kind of a ah cult following um amongst people who are perhaps embarrassed to admit that they'd been quietly reading romance in secret. And so I think that I'm very, I'm very grateful to Emily for the work that she's doing. And um I always come back to Gus.
00:28:31
Speaker
um But yeah, other than that, like there's a lot of conversation around fan fiction in this book and fandom and the space that, uh, that fangirls take up.
00:28:42
Speaker
And I will say that I was a fan fiction girl myself and my original fic that I was a part of was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. nice and I was a big, and this is controversial, but a big spuffy girl.
00:28:59
Speaker
So people can read into that what they will, but that's gotta be my, That's Spike and Buffy, right? That's Spike and Buffy, yeah. they They did have a thing at one point, so I guess it's not. They have they have a they spend very little time together an even little smaller amount of time, you could argue, happily together.
00:29:24
Speaker
okay bye um I think that they are just like so the blueprint do but sorry blueprint for true enemies to lovers. um I know there's yeah a lot of discussion around who originated the concept, and they're definitely one of one of many forefathers.
00:29:44
Speaker
Okay, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. So you must be excited then for the this like Buffy reimagining that's coming out soon?
00:29:54
Speaker
In some ways, yes. Okay, it's not that I'm not. ah Almost everything that I loved in childhood is getting a reboot or a remake. True. And i always have to safeguard my heart with these things because for me, i worry about like digging up the ground and reviving things that have been put to pasture for for decades.
00:30:22
Speaker
and I do think that like I've rewatched Buffy so many times in the past that I do think that like the magic of what was captured on screen really could have only existed in the time period that it was shot.
00:30:38
Speaker
And I feel the same way about like the Princess Diaries or cook books. Like I just, I get a little um anxious about whether those characters would be given the grace to exist the way that they did in the nineties and early s two thousands in the year of our Lord and savior 2025.
00:31:00
Speaker
Oh, I forgot they were doing the Princess Diaries again. Oh, again. she just reminded me. I'm so sorry. Go home and Google some of those pictures. Oh yeah. They're doing Devil Wears Prada as well. and I'm thinking about Anne Hathaway.
00:31:14
Speaker
Yep. It's just. Yeah, I agree. i know what you mean. You need to stay guarded to these things. I don't want to get excited because I'm like, yeah we've been burned so many times now with these reboot remake things.
00:31:25
Speaker
Let's her remain cautious as fans of the franchise, of the existing franchise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah Keep them separate and be like, hopefully this will be good, but it won't tarnish the thing, the original thing.
Cozy Winter Read Recommendation
00:31:36
Speaker
Okay. um So that has brink brings us to the point in the episode where I pack up your things and send you off to to leave you um and this is the second episode i think that we're that we're doing this it used to be the desert island but now uh the question is iman if you were snowed in at a cozy woodland cabin in the middle of nowhere what book would you hope to have with you
00:31:59
Speaker
um Okay, I'm going to go with a book that is a fresh in my mind, um in that I read it in the past couple months.
00:32:11
Speaker
It's a rom-com called Any Trope But You um by Victoria Levine, about a romance novelist who gets cancelled by the internet after revealing that she actually is like a true cynic and doesn't believe in love and is just profiting off of it.
00:32:31
Speaker
And she is sent by her younger sister to a like wilderness camp in Alaska ah where she's expected to spend three months holed up writing her first thriller.
00:32:45
Speaker
um And while she is there, she experiences like a whirlwind romance that um seems to follow all of the popular conventions of contemporary romance. And it's like the universe is throwing red flags in her face um that she shouldn't abandon the genre just yet.
00:33:05
Speaker
That's great. It was so good. It was a debut. um I wish I had seen more people talking about this because I really had so much fun reading it. And it was also so tender at times.
00:33:16
Speaker
um And I bring it up, though, because it is a true like snow-capped, melting the ice off your fingers by the fire, like, you know, curling up with a hot drink book.
00:33:30
Speaker
um It is extremely cold in Alaska when she's there. And um I think it has all the makings of cozy, tender winter reed.
00:33:42
Speaker
Amazing. That's perfect. Yeah, that's great. That also sounds really funny. I can also picture that 100% being a movie straight away. Yeah. It just works, right? Yeah, i I would love that. If anyone's listening, please option Victoria Levine's rights.
00:33:59
Speaker
That'd be a great movie. um Awesome.
Podcast Conclusion and Further Content
00:34:01
Speaker
ah That brings us to the end of the first half of the episode. Next up, we are going to get into a bit more of the publishing side of things, Iman's journey into publishing and her experiences throughout. That will be in the extended episode, which will be available at patreon.com forward slash right and wrong.
00:34:17
Speaker
I promise you, it is better to have a messy manuscript than ah single perfect paragraph. So finish that draft. Yes, exactly.
00:34:28
Speaker
ah Something I always end up saying on the podcast along those lines is that you can't edit a blank page. So like, yeah, you've got to finish it before you can start even thinking about what the next step is. And revising is such an important part of writing and yeah it's it this can be as rewarding.
00:34:47
Speaker
And this is less classy, more crass, but I often say like, even if you feel like, certain chapters are just complete and utter shit sometimes you can return to it a week later and you'll be surprised you may have shit gold
00:35:06
Speaker
excellent what a great what a great uh a great way to end the podcast thank you so much thanks for having me this is so much fun Yes, it's been so fun chatting with you and hearing all about your your publishing journey and writing and everything. And for everyone listening, Female Fantasy is out right now in all the usual places. If you want to keep up with what Iman is doing, you can find her on Instagram and TikTok at Iman Hariri Kier or on her website, imanhariri kier.com.
00:35:34
Speaker
To support this podcast, like, follow and subscribe. Join the Patreon for ad-free extended episodes and check out my other podcasts, The Chosen Ones and other tropes. Thanks again to Iman and thanks to everyone listening. We will catch you on the next episode.