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Dating Disaster: The Cargo Shorts
20 Plays11 months ago
We share one of our most awkward date experiences—but the real debate? Whether cargo shorts were the biggest red flag of the night. Cringe, chaos, and questionable fashion choices await!
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Transcript
A College Date Filled with Missteps
00:00:12
Speaker
I wish we had more notes because we've... That's all I got. Come to a summary with enough time for me to tell this awkward story. Yes. You've both heard it before. Well, you said I'd heard the first one and I haven't. You've definitely heard this one. No. Oh. Is it that time you got jumped? Oh, the long word story. Same place though.
00:00:39
Speaker
I don't believe that one, by the way, Shana. Do you not believe it? No. No. You don't have to believe it. It's definitely true. That can cover in, what was it, a Taco Bell? Right. Gunshots. Gunshots. Ridiculous. No. That was- He said ridiculous. Those are separate, but- Wrist rockets. Yeah, the so awkward date. I've definitely been on an awkward date before. Probably a few, but the one that comes to mind is obviously- Easy, big fella. Easy. Easy.
00:01:10
Speaker
I just like he's laying all his out. Let me tell you about date number. No, no, no, na no, no. I meant that is like probably a few awkward ones. He's calling himself awkward. Not that I've been on like ah a ton of dates. They've just all been awkward. They've And you're the common denominator. so I seem to be. I think I'm smooth, but I must not be.
00:01:30
Speaker
And you're not a woman. And I'm not a woman. This one in particular was at college. I didn't know it was a date, although that's to my own ignorance. Well, you're not up to a great start. No, I'm not. I'm really not. That one. But to my defense, again, this was a person that it wasn't like a stranger. I had known them for a while. And so them saying, hey, let's go get food.
00:01:59
Speaker
It didn't seem like a, I guess in the moment I was thinking, yeah, this might be a bit. You're like Jimmy Fallon and Nicole Kidman? Is this a thing? Am I? Wait a minute. Did we go on a date? Did I date Nicole Kidman? In a way, I guess. So yeah, I didn't know it was a date.
00:02:20
Speaker
or I guess I just wasn't thinking about it in that way. I definitely should have picked up on the clues, but again, it's just the relationship that we had. You wouldn't have thought immediately, oh, this is going this direction. We've been friends forever. um But at one point, yeah, I was at college and she's like an hour away. She's like, yeah, I'll drive over there. That should have been clue number one. She's like, oh, I'll drive over there like right now. What's up? Let's just go. Clue number two was she asked me what I was gonna wear.
00:02:51
Speaker
And my response was terrible because I said probably like what I have on, which was some cargo shorts with holes in the knees. Criminal, criminal. Which also meant I'm not thinking about it. So this is, as far as I know, we're just going out. I mean, I'm just walking out my door. Yep, exactly. A sleeveless shirt, but not like sleeveless.
Reflecting on Date Attire and Social Cues
00:03:15
Speaker
Come on, Scott, we got to work on the game. The sleeves were like torn off. Like it wasn't. That doesn't make it better.
00:03:21
Speaker
Well, it looked cool. No. In the right context. I bet it didn't. In the right context, it would have been hot. It would have been like, look at that guy out there cutting lumber. Look at those holes in his shorts. Look at his arms. Well, yeah, the shorts were probably no good. Did you have on a backwards hat? I did. Do you know what this is to me? I'm just gonna say, this says redneck. I'm getting big redneck vibes off of every bit of that. It was definitely a lot. Yeah, it was probably pretty redneck. And then, well, so,
00:03:49
Speaker
To my credit, I think I put on yeah like a different shirt. I wonder if it would have gone differently. i was in Freshman year of college, I was in dorm, so I had a roommate. Really, 18 at that point? But he wasn't there at the time. So he didn't give me any, there's no feedback. These were all just thoughts coming at me. Well, feedback from another dude. Only my interpretation. I don't know if it was gonna help. It might've, eh, I don't know. Anyway, we go out and it doesn't get better. We went to Chili's.
00:04:34
Speaker
Chili, baby, back rib. This is the point when I started to realize, okay, this might be a date, so I need to salvage it. like I need to do better. I got to do something that's not this, because I'm realizing the the time and effort she's put in now.
00:04:54
Speaker
And this is what she's got. She drove an hour to have dinner with you in gross shorts. Yeah. And I cut off. Yeah. You owe her an edible arrangement. So, well, so I feel like the dinner went well. Like I, you know, uh, but then I thought, did we split the bill? What did we do? No, I paid it. Okay. Okay. Um, yeah, that point again, at this point I realized, Ooh, this is on me. ah So I thought, okay, what can we do here?
00:05:24
Speaker
Whitehurst Beach, Old Dominion. oh I thought, oh, this is perfect. I'm very familiar. It might smell of weed, but that's okay. I thought you were going to say something else. That could be much worse. No, and it was just like, ah all right. I was thinking like trash or like meth.
00:05:45
Speaker
Yeah, that's my go-to. After weed, it must be math. That's all. Okay. So we go to Wider's Beach, which was was like perfect, because you go out on, you know, you go out on that dock, the floating dock. I don't know if you had that back in the Dizzy, but... No, but I know. It was... Did you grab your guitar? I should have. that would Oh, no.
00:06:11
Speaker
but But then, so then we're talking and this is the point where I kind of get ah lose what I'm saying. like I'm realizing later on that I might've said something in this part. Oh, I cannot wait for this. I just remember, I don't remember what I said or what we talked about really. I do remember talking a little bit about like relationships and what we're doing in life and all that. I just remember going back up to my dorm and talking to Ricky about it.
00:06:39
Speaker
and giving him receipts, like this is what was said. Anyway, I'm jumping ahead. So we talked for a minute and then we go back to her car. We sit in the car for a minute and then she's, you know, ready to leave. And I thought, okay, like put her there. Time to make the move. You said put her there. You went in for the handshake. I went in for a little bit more than the handshake.
00:07:05
Speaker
Uh, I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna sco go for, we had a great conversation. Seems like this is where this is going. I i mean, okay. Sorry. I went in to plant one on her. Give her a little kiss. On the cheek.
00:07:23
Speaker
Wherever it landed, didn't matter. Wherever it landed, it did not land anywhere. She gave one of these. You get the pullback? Oh, she swerved you. She swerved, she pulled back. Yeah, it was so weird. I feel like- So at some point- I don't remember, I could be stretching the truth here a little bit, but I do because I feel like I either grabbed her arm or maybe like right, you know, like right up here, but a little, I had a Brody move and it did not land because I feel like for a split second, there was like resistance and I realized like I was pulling and she was, you know, pulling the other direction. Um, so quickly, you know, I'm like, what? And then
00:08:11
Speaker
Then she catches my hand right here, cups my hand like a mother would do it. She dabbed you up, didn't she? No, no, no. She doubled up on the top? Like she's holding my hand here and cups my hand like this. Yeah. How about you? It's like, why would you do that to a girl if you didn't like her like that?
00:08:37
Speaker
Oh. This is the moment. This is the moment I was telling you about. What is that? This girl is gangster. What is that telling you? What does that say? I need to hear it, right? I need you to say, no, I do. Like that's that, I need this assurance so before we go through this. That's so fair in this case. She just drove an hour. It definitely is. I don't deny that at all. It's definitely, and again,
00:09:03
Speaker
This is the point where I went and told Ricky, I'm like, there was nothing that I said that was off-putting or I don't like you or anything like that. Well, I don't know. Yeah, he told you you were dressed. Yes. But there were context clues for her along the way. 100%, it was justified her needing some validation in that moment. But she knew right before it was all happening what was about to happen. She could feel it. It was happening.
00:09:33
Speaker
So it was like, you could have caught me before we went to this point of no return, right? Where you're cuffing my hand
Fashion Faux Pas: The Cargo Shorts Debate
00:09:41
Speaker
asking me this, and then what am I supposed to do there? I can't. How did you answer her when she asked you that gangster-ass question? I like this girl so much. what How did you answer?
00:09:54
Speaker
She just likes her because she put you on the spot. No, but honestly, that level of self-advocacy, she's like, why would you do this with some such a valid question? I'm in awe. I don't know that I answered.
00:10:07
Speaker
um i don't think i I was very embarrassed. I don't know that I answered. If I do, i just I do not remember what I said. It was maybe a quick back and forth, if any. It's all downhill from there. and And then it got out. It wasn't probably like 20 seconds after that. So you turned around and drove an hour home. All right. You had to long ride back home after your date went like all that. You could at least said, do you need some money for gas? You bought dinner. yeah I did buy dinner. You bought dinner. So again, it's one of those, like I know, looking back, like
00:10:48
Speaker
Yeah, everything she did was justified. there was't If anybody was wrong, it was definitely me. Because I should have seen those dates. I can't explain to you the relationship though that would explain why I didn't think it was. Which that's fair. But yeah, if you think you're gonna go to dinner with somebody. But then I realized, yeah, again, though, it was like, okay, we're, I don't know. I just think now they're friends that if they asked me, I'd be like, okay, I Yeah, you're a girl, but I know like I'm gonna dress like whatever cuz I know our relationship and i I'm not here to impress you man, and it's not gonna matter and I mean at this point and you're I Don't know what I definitely wouldn't go out in cargo shorts with holes in them again, right? I feel like you given the two stories you've shared even certainly you've probably adjusted and how your mind works and what you assume the other person is thinking. rest Yeah, I feel like you've you've had the opportunity to learn some good lessons. Hopefully you're able to put those into practice and yeah. but I would also like to say as a side as a woman, is to there have been two two times in my life where I have chastised a man for his ugly ass cargo shorts and those things were never to be seen again. I wear that as a badge of honor.
00:12:11
Speaker
So, cargo shorts are for the streets. They are bad. What kind of shorts do you like to see on a man? You don't like to see jean shorts, right? I can hang with jean shorts in the right context. Otherwise, I don't like to see a man in shorts. It's off-putting.
00:12:28
Speaker
I don't hate it. Maybe gym shorts, but then you gotta have been working on the legs in the gym. If not, you should not be wearing shorts. Your shorts have to come above your knee. You look stumpy and weird if your shorts are hanging out below your kneecaps. Okay, okay. They need to come up above your knee. So cargoes above the knees are no good. There's still just, there's no way for them to look nice.
00:12:52
Speaker
After you've washed them once, the pockets get all bunched up and they look all bulky and goofy. They're always wrinkly and you can't get the wrinkles out. Yeah, they always look like you just rolled out of bed. They're just not. I know exactly what you mean. Can I? So do you like the tight ones?
00:13:05
Speaker
I do. I do actually. Do you know the brand chubbies? Write that down. Write that down. The brand chubbies? I'm not familiar. I haven't bought a pair of shorts in 20 years. I mean, the name is a little, like, okay. Right. But yeah, I actually do like kind of the shorter style a little more fitted because it just looks nicer. Let me write it. What's it spelled out? C-H-U-B-B. Spell like it sounds. Got it. Can I just bring us back here for a moment?
Dressing and Self-awareness in Dating
00:13:34
Speaker
um You got another failed dating story? No, no, no, no, no, no. I just want to say, I only feel like one of those stories really taught me a huge lesson. The other one I still don't know how to interpret.
00:13:52
Speaker
One of them was like, don't you know how to help you out? The first one I feel bad about. That one... Right. the The first one I'm like, okay, I don't know what I should have done differently. You were in an awkward situation. you should I just wonder if there's... Call a friend to come get you. Maybe there were some clues before y'all even got to the coffee shop.
00:14:11
Speaker
you know, not having the full whole context. Yeah. Maybe there was something then you were just like, ah it was one of those where I felt really led that like, okay, they're definitely done. Cause she talks about the fact that they're doing a lot. And I thought,
00:14:27
Speaker
Okay. So we're not going to victim shame in this situation because you were there. They'd already been broken up for a while. You just thought this was somebody that had potential. You don't deserve to get left in a coffee shop because homeboy rolls up from three hours away. I do not have any empathy for Scott's situation in that story until I get to full context. No offense. I mean, there's not much more context to give you that you that's again it didn't uh it didn't like I mean after that it was just weird it was awkward and um which shock we we're good friends we really need to know now so if you have learned from those you know and got some lesson learns and some good notes I would take notes from uh the biggest question is do you still own any cargo shorts and be truthful
00:15:22
Speaker
No. There was a hesitation. I don't believe you think about it. We need to go through your drawer one day. The last pair that I had were those same. And it was like last year that I finally got rid of them. Okay. Second question and final, but we already know the answer. Do you still wear your hats backwards? Yes. But, but not on a date. I wouldn't. Not anymore. Okay. Okay. Good.
00:15:53
Speaker
So you have grown in that, in the hat area. Although, well, I say that now I'm thinking back and I might have. Right. If you're going to hang out in the park, but it's a date, you're going backwards hat. You are, not me. I'm not. The only reason this one is backwards is because when you wear it forwards, you really like an old man. Do you wear a hat then when you take your wife out on a date? Or do you like fix your hair and your being presentable. I fixed my hair. I quit wearing my hat because I'm like, that looks like I'm not trying. And I know that sounds like, oh, I really do mean that. Like I finally quit doing it because I used to always just, what, we're going out. Okay. I put on my hat. Nah. Plus I like my hair to look good. I like it when it looks good. I support it. Well, see what I did there, Scott? I do. Yeah. Well, I'm still going to take notes from the rabbi. No, from you.
00:16:50
Speaker
Everyone's taking notes for the rabbi. That's a good poll. Will we ever see the rabbi on a backwards hat in this whole series? Oh, I wonder. I would be mind blown. Surely they're going to be out playing or doing something at some point. He's going to have a
Chivalry, Communication, and Self-Improvement
00:17:04
Speaker
habit. You know what, though? There's two things as a woman from the... What is it? What do they call it? The female gaze. Backwards hat. G-A-Z-E.
00:17:16
Speaker
G-A-P-E. You're a clown. Yeah. Come on. That was funny. Not G-A-Y-S. That's such a... They're called something else. Go ahead. Okay. Anyway, circling back. Backwards hat and also the... I feel like we've talked about this. The sleeves rolled up to about, you know... Three-quarter sleeves. Yeah. I love a three-quarter sleeve.
00:17:35
Speaker
Yeah. Those are two that will get a lot of women. So if he shows up with either of those things, that will not be. Wait, what was the first? I wasn't listening. Backwards hat or the- Backwards hat, three quarter sleeve. Boom, I'm already there. What? If he throws his arm behind the passenger seat and looks over his shoulder to back up a car with one hand.
00:17:58
Speaker
Oh, we talked about that, didn't we? I remember that. Wait, what if he has a backup camera? That's a power move. That's such a power move. And then he's, like he's doing this, but he has a backup camera. Like, oh, God. Well, now you're an idiot. Just look at him. How about this? Backup camera has kind of killed it for us on that. When a man backs into the parking spot, that's a power move. Am I right? It is. It is. Yeah. I started doing that all the time. If he does that with his leaves rolled up and his hat backwards. Oh, but I said it first.
00:18:27
Speaker
Here's the other thing I do. Well, I mean, I'm married, so I have the opportunity to do it all the time, but it's such a, I'm like, yeah, this is a power move. I'm doing it. When we go to cross the street, I always, I'm like, no, you're gonna, you wait for me to make sure it's clear. Oh, that's not what I thought you were gonna say. I put the arm out. I'm like, no, I'll let you know when I say wait for me. No, those are the micro things that'll take you the distance. Wow. Okay.
00:18:54
Speaker
Two seconds way up. Right that down. Right that down. Do you do the whole like, no, I'll walk beside the street. You walk down. Yes. Okay. We've talked about that too. You go on the inside of the sidewalk. I love it. I think it's great. Yeah. Wow. It's, what is it? Nonverbal communication. Okay. So as a man, Chuck, what is the male gaze? G-A-Z-E. G-A-Z-E.
00:19:19
Speaker
I don't remember what. Oh, what we. Yeah. Like just physical thing that they do or that they wear or. Wow, let's PG. Let's keep it PG. um No, this is gonna sound so corny but it I'm not making it up. Okay. But when you're like, oh my gosh, she appreciates what I've done or she appreciates recognition. The effort, yeah. I just hate the word recognition because it sounds very... Pretentious. Look at me. Yeah. But it's like... No, no, no. I'm going through a lot of effort to make sure we're safe, to make sure we're... Oh, but that can lead to miscommunications. Taking care of life. Because what if
00:20:04
Speaker
What if, you know, okay, so you do a lot of that, right? Like you're doing the mom arm on the street, you know, but but what she wanted was like a present. Like you didn't get her a present, you know, for Hanukkah, whatever. And it's like, well, wait, but fun and yeah so now you're thinking like, no, I do things for you, but it's not things that, you know, she really picks up. You just had to feel that out early on. At some point you start to realize what does which one of the two they prefer. Well, they prefer a lot more than two, but you know what I'm saying? but So, okay. So there's, wow. So it's more of just a, so this doesn't even have anything to do with physical. Yeah. There's no physical thing. It's just like, Oh, thank you, Chuck. What did you say? Did you say, no, not a, not a thank you. not a go outer Sorry. It was that just a confirmation that if I'm in your life,
00:21:04
Speaker
You would not struggle, but you would you would miss my presence. that you ok You help and you make her life easier. You enhance her existence. That was funny yeah because you almost were like, if you were I weren't around, you'd wouldn't know how to operate. Make your life easier. Yeah. Yeah, you make her existence easier. She could totally do it if she wanted to. Right. But you're helping it. But why wouldn't I just make her life easier? Just take the trash out. And don't wait for a reason to do it. Just do it first. Yeah. Just go ahead and
00:21:43
Speaker
If this needs to get done, just go do it. It'll pay off eventually. It might take 25 years, but it'll pay off eventually. This went so far beyond just like a messy bun. Yeah, I was going to say, is there a physical thing? A messy bun is actually a good one. Yeah. A messy bun is definitely- A messy bun. Well, I have a whole take on, we should do that sometime. We really should do that. I have a whole like,
00:22:09
Speaker
list? He wrote them down. No, just the physical stuff with women and what they think they need to do to be attractive or not or whatever attractive means. It's different for everybody. Man, ah most most women are above, I told you this the other day, Scott, they're above average. But there's an average, so that means there is a middle ground. But they don't need to go out of their way to be You know, we'll put together. That's not me. I don't need all that. You don't need to do all that. Just be yourself. That's what I want. I don't want to wonder who you are. Don't be somebody else when you're out and about. That'll wear you out. Just be who you are. And I'll be good with it. I'll be like, that's it. That's what I want. Now I know what I'm dealing with. Okay. Profound. I like all of it.
00:23:05
Speaker
And a mess. You can call me Rabbi. Honestly, somebody's taking notes. Somebody's got to be. Okay. Well, thank you for tuning in. This has been episodes unscripted with Sean Fretwell, Charlie Harkim, and myself. I feel like we just saved some people's relationships. Something to think about. They're listening to this and they're like, you what I'm going to make a change. I'm going to do something different. I'm going to throw out my cargo shorts.
00:23:32
Speaker
And I'm going to put my hair up in a messy bun. And never wear a backwards hat. You know what else we learned, Scott? I comb my hair. You are not a woman. I'm not a woman. Thank you for tuning in. We'll see you next time.