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The Gowrie Conspiracy
56 Plays4 years ago
M introduces Josh to the Gowrie Conspiracy, which features a king of Scotland, a weird foreigner with money, and a very improbable ruse...
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Josh is @monkeyfluids and M is @conspiracism on Twitter
You can also contact us at: podcastconspiracy@gmail.com
You can learn more about M’s academic work at: http://mrxdentith.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Patron Speculation
00:00:02
Speaker
New patron alert! New patron alert! All hands to station. Prepare for donation. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Well, that was an eventful. Must have been a dollar a month patron. Uh, oh.
00:00:24
Speaker
Oh, no, it really wasn't. Generous is the word. But they don't want the world to know? I don't think they even want us to know. But how can we expose them as the vile conspirators they are if we can't even speak their name? I don't think we can. I think, Joshua, that we might be in the weird position of knowing something we ought not to know,
00:00:48
Speaker
and can't tell anyone about it. Is that how Alex Jones feels? Am I having David Icke thoughts now? We live in the worst possible timeline. Well, it is 2020. Still, this year needs to get over itself, stat.
Host Introductions
00:01:12
Speaker
The Podcaster's Guide to the Conspiracy, brought to you today by Josh Addison and Dr. M. Denton.
00:01:22
Speaker
Hello, and welcome to the podcaster's guide to the conspiracy. I am Josh Addison. They are Dr. M. Denteth, situated in or about the country of Aotearoa, New Zealand. Just scattered liberally about it, I suppose. Well, those of you who are watching the video version, and there is a video version on Josh's channel,
00:01:40
Speaker
might think that actually I am not in any particular time zone or indeed point in space. Yes, we've got backgrounds just for the hell of it. I have our podcaster's guide to the conspiracy logo, which now that I think of it, maybe isn't so great having it centered because I appear to be on the pod tour's concie. Well, so I am obviously in my TARDIS.
00:02:04
Speaker
Anyway, this means nothing to people who are just listening to the podcast on their usual podcast listening apparatus. So moving on, we have a new patron.
00:02:15
Speaker
Thank you. They wish to remain anonymous, so we will call them Edward de Vere. Ooh, cunning, yes. Do we know if this person also actually wrote the works of Shakespeare? We do not, but I do have my suspicions. No, I wouldn't discount it as a possibility. I also wouldn't count it as a possibility. Well... I just have my suspicions. That's all I'm saying. You always do.
Introducing a New Feature
00:02:40
Speaker
Now this week, this week we're trying something new and exciting and interesting and different and terrible. So we thought we would try a feature where one of us has no idea what's going to happen and the other has picked a brand new obscure conspiracy theory that presumably the other hasn't heard of and we'll explain it to them.
00:03:06
Speaker
I think I got that right. That is correct. Now, I am quite curious to see how reciprocal this arrangement will be, because I may be blowing my own horn here. I suspect I know about a lot more conspiracy theories. That's my suspicion also. Yes, yes. I think I might have my work cut out for me finding one to stump you with. But that's not the case this week, because for our inaugural... Do we have a name for it?
00:03:31
Speaker
Like Conspiracy Theory Masterpiece Theatre? Oh, we should have a name for it. Let's workshop that and have a name for it next time. But anyway, the first episode of whatever it is we decide to call this, M is in the know. As I am the stumperer. And I am towering in my ignorance. As the stumpery.
00:03:52
Speaker
Mmm, and him's gonna try and remedy that. So I'm practically excited. I'm not excited, but I'm on the way to being excited. Shall we get straight into it then? Indeed.
Cheese Conspiracy and Gallery Conspiracy Introduction
00:04:10
Speaker
So, the suspense is killing me, or at least causing me mild bowel discomfort. What have you got? Alright, I'm going to play a little bit of the game to get us into this. I want from you a place where this conspiracy occurred, a time period for when it occurred, what kind of conspiracy you think it is, say no, political, murder, weird UFO related material, and whether or not it's warranted.
00:04:36
Speaker
So give me, where do you think this conspiracy occurred? Bonnie Old England. Okay, interesting. A time period? 1570s. 1570s? And what kind of conspiracy is it? Cheese related.
00:04:53
Speaker
cheese-related conspiracy, I was not expecting you. Don't tell me there aren't any. I mean, there will be. I'm just, as a vegan, I am opposed to all cheese-related conspiracies, apart from conspiracies about how cheese is bad. And do you think it's going to be warranted or unwarranted? Definitely warranted. The Great 1570 Cheese Conspiracy.
00:05:12
Speaker
Okay, so you said England. Yes. We're actually going to Scotland. Close enough. But it does involve someone who was King of Scotland and became King of England and Scotland, so you're actually pretty close there. The time period is actually 1600 after the Common Era, so you're actually very close to that as well. So it's pretty close. I'm a little frightened now.
00:05:38
Speaker
So how does the cheese come into it? I'm afraid there's no cheese involved in this conspiracy at all. I'm afraid to say you may have tried to cut the cheese, but there's no cheese cutting going on in this conspiracy. And it does turn out to be warranted as it turns out so many of these English-come-Scottish plots turn
The Gallery Conspiracy Unfolds
00:05:58
Speaker
out to be. So let me tell you about the gallery conspiracy.
00:06:03
Speaker
Please do. I think you better hurry it up because I'm aware that I just said England is close enough to being Scotland, so now any Scottish people listening to this podcast are going to track me down and murder me. So before that happens...
00:06:16
Speaker
Tell me what you got. Okay, so on the 5th of August, 1600 ACE, King James VI of Scotland, who would eventually be King James I of England, went hunting around the Falkland Palace, which was near Perth.
00:06:35
Speaker
but not that Perth. No, Scottish Perth, not Australian Perth. Precisely. And he was accompanied by a retinue, including some nobles and probably a very large number of peasants who have been forgotten by history entirely. So he was accompanied by the Duke of Lennox, the Earl of Marr, the Earl of Callie, the future Earl of Holderness and a whole bunch of servants. Now whilst out on his hunt,
00:07:03
Speaker
he's approached by this person called Alexander Ruthven, who was the younger brother of John Ruthven. And John Ruthven was the third Earl of Gowery, who lived in Perth, and they had a really, really, really long history of treason against the Scottish Crown.
00:07:24
Speaker
to the point where John's father had been executed by James VI for the crime of kidnapping James VI. So this wasn't James VI's first run-in with a gallery, which is what makes the following story all the weirder.
00:07:46
Speaker
So Alexander approaches the hunting party and says, look, my brother John, the son of the person who kidnapped you 18 years earlier, has detained a foreigner carrying a large quantity of money, and we really think you should come and interrogate this man.
00:08:08
Speaker
Now, James' first response is, surely this is a job for the local magistrates. I mean, I am the king, I just don't go around interrogating foreigners willy-nilly. But Alexander points out to King James that if the magistrates
00:08:26
Speaker
interrogate this man and ask him where the money comes from. The magistrates will probably claim the money for their own purse, and surely the king should want this bounteous amount of gold for his own coffers. And that makes James go, hmm, maybe I should. And then Alexander sweetens the deal by mentioning that he thinks the money is going towards Catholics.
00:08:53
Speaker
Not Catholics. Precisely. And of course, actually, there's a long history here of James I of England, James VI of Scotland, having been sent away from his mother, Mary, Queen of Scots, to ensure he doesn't get a Catholic education, to ensure that he isn't going to be pro-Catholic. So, sweetening the part with it might be going to Catholics is kind of really fitting into James' notion of wanting lots of gold and not wanting Catholics to have any gold.
00:09:22
Speaker
So, so far I have to say this is sounding like a setup. This is sounding like the sort of thing you were going to say. So James then says, I will come to the castle. And Alexander's next line is, please bring as small a retinue to the castle as is humanly possible. Right. So it doesn't explicitly say no cops, but heading towards that.
00:09:46
Speaker
Now, James then decides to travel with a retinue of 10 to 15 people, which is one of those things you end up going, is that technically a small retinue for a king? Or is James highly suspicious and going, yeah, I'm bringing a lot of people with me, not just a few. But they ride
00:10:08
Speaker
to Gauri House where Alexander and his cousin John Ruthven reside. They arrive and John Ruthven, the actual Earl of Gauri, seems completely surprised by the king's arrival, is completely unprepared for a royal visit and then has to make the king wait for at least an hour
00:10:30
Speaker
whilst a small feast is prepared in the king's honour. So, having ridden to the castle on the notion he needs to directly interrogate a man with a lot of gold, he's then forced to wait round in a hall for an hour whilst a cook tries to rummage up as much food as possible for a retinue of between 10 and 15 people.
00:10:50
Speaker
Now the meal is had, and then eventually Alexander says look, we should probably go upstairs and interrogate that funny foreigner with the gold. Would you please follow me on your own?
00:11:05
Speaker
This, I mean, if this were in some sort of thriller movie, I would be quite, I would be groaning at this point. I would be saying, for God's sake, you could write something a little less on the nose, maybe a little more originality, but does the king, is the king buying it? Yes, he follows Alexander up the stairs, and every time they go through a chamber, Alexander locks the door behind him.
00:11:32
Speaker
Right. So they're not just going upstairs. Alexander is locking every door they travel through as they travel up to a small turret room at the top of Gallery House. Okay. Now, when they get into Gallery House, they find standing in the room an armoured man
00:11:52
Speaker
who immediately seizes the king, at which point Alexander puts a knife to the king's throat, starts talking about the fact that he killed John's father, and basically tells the king, if you say a word, if you scream out, it's instant death fear. Right, well at this point I have no sympathy for the king, I have to say.
00:12:14
Speaker
yeah I mean it does seem ever so slightly strange and we'll actually talk about the the strangeness of this because there there may be a reason why the story is slightly strange as we'll get to once we get to the conclusion of the sad tale.
Theories and Motives Behind the Conspiracy
00:12:29
Speaker
Now
00:12:29
Speaker
After doing his villainous speech, Alexander decides to leave the room, at which point the king appeals to the better nature of the armored garden there, who then says he has no idea what's going on there, and he feels he's been pressured to be in the room by Alexander, at which point he allows the king to open a window in the turret, and the king starts to cry out at the moment Alexander comes back in,
00:12:59
Speaker
Luckily some of his retinue downstairs hears the king's cry and they start rushing the stairs, but of course all of the doors are locked. But one of the king's retinue realizes that there must be another passageway up to the turret room. This is a man by the name of John Ramsey. He's eventually going to be awarded titles for his particular brilliance here.
00:13:27
Speaker
and he runs up, ends up being let in by the armoured guard when he knocks on the door, and a struggle ensues in which he pushes Alexander down a stairs where he's eventually stabbed to death by the rest of the kings, retinue. Now during the kafuffle,
00:13:49
Speaker
John, the actual Earl of Gallery, is very confused by what's going on, so he basically comes back into the house, sees his cousin having just been stabbed to death by a large number of men, runs up the stairs to find out what's going on, and he is also killed in the melee. Right.
00:14:09
Speaker
Is that where it ends, the sad death of the galleries? Well, yes, I mean, basically at that point, the local peasants who are in favour of the rooferins are ever so slightly saddened by the fact that their lord and the lord's cousin have been killed. So there is a minor riot in the nearby village, which forces the king to kind of flee the scene, but eventually he takes control
00:14:36
Speaker
He has Gauri House the castle demolished and bams anyone from ever having the name Rufrin again in the future. Right. So, I mean, I guess the first thing I have to ask is how do we know about this? Because it seems like the only people who are privy to everything that went on are the king and this mysterious armored man.
00:15:02
Speaker
And I have to say, if we're getting the King's version of events, he's not painting himself in the best light. So Joshua, are you saying you are the Scottish Parliament? Because that was precisely the question they asked. I see.
00:15:16
Speaker
because the Scottish Parliament was at that time slightly more in favour of Elizabeth than they were of their own King James. They were very sceptical about what the King was up to. They had been wondering the place killing witches and things, so they were a little bit concerned about his proclivities. And they went
00:15:37
Speaker
This story makes virtually no sense, because A, it makes you look incredibly credulous, and B, we don't quite understand what the motivations of all of these characters are, and we're fairly sure that all of your witnesses, which include members of your retinue, and this man called Henderson, who claimed to not know what was going on when you got into the turret,
00:16:03
Speaker
we think have either bribed them or simply ordered them as their monarch to say things against the Ruthrins. So the Scottish Parliament holds an inquiry
00:16:15
Speaker
into this conspiracy at Gallery House to find out whether maybe the king is telling a few fibs, and that's where a whole bunch of theories start to emerge to try to explain why the king went to Gallery House if even we believe his story. So
00:16:36
Speaker
The standard story, the one that King James puts forward, is that the rooferins basically were engaged in a plot to either murder or kidnap James. So one theory is initially they wanted to kidnap him on the notion he'd come to Gallery House, he'd have a small retinue, they'd be able to easily capture him
00:16:57
Speaker
get rid of the retinue and then persuade people that the king had moved on and then hold him to ransom or demand he put forward certain legislative changes in the Scottish court. When he turns up at the house with a large retinue, their mind turns to murder.
00:17:16
Speaker
And given the history of the reference having engaged in treasonous acts in the past, including the fact that John's father had kidnapped James 18 years prior, there is some reason to think that maybe
00:17:33
Speaker
maybe there's something to the story. In fact, some historians think that John Ruthrin really did think he was a contender for the crown, and maybe getting rid of King James was one way to get about that.
00:17:49
Speaker
But a lot of people at the time actually thought that maybe the King's story is just a tissue of lies to cover up his particular intentions of visiting Gallery House at that time.
Doubts and Skepticism About the King's Account
00:18:03
Speaker
Because you see, King James owed an awful lot of money to the Earl of Gallery. He was heavily in debt to this man at the time. Another plot thickens, you get a money motive in there.
00:18:18
Speaker
Well, precisely. So maybe the king paid a surprise visit to Gauri Hal. So the story about Alexander is made up. This then explains why the Earl of Gauri is very confused when the king turns up at his doorstep, apparently at the invitation of his cousin Alexander. And maybe James had gone there to try and sort out a debt
00:18:44
Speaker
and decided that actually maybe the best way to sort out a debt is to kill the person that you're in debt to. Well, yes, I have to say, if I were a member of the Scottish Parliament and the King came in and said, ah, guys, you'll never believe, you know, those people who don't like me and are treasonous against me and who I owed a bunch of money to, I had to kill them. They were weird, weird circumstances.
00:19:13
Speaker
But I ended up just having to murder a lot of them. There was really nothing for it. What a funny world we live in. Yeah, if I heard that story, I certainly would be thinking, it sounds like you got rid of some people you wanted to get rid of, and you've made up some weird-ass story to try and cover for it. And indeed, I mean, who challenges the king on a lie? People who don't support the king? Well, precisely. Treasonous people, Joshua, like the Earl of Gowery and his cousin.
00:19:42
Speaker
Now, another theory has a that maybe James wanted the casket letters.
00:19:50
Speaker
There's more, there's more and more and more element. You've got the money, you know, you've got mysterious letters. Yes, so apparently Mary Queen of Scots had written a whole bunch of letters to the Earl of Bothwell, and she never really let them out of her sight. When regents were in charge of Scotland, the letters were in their charge.
00:20:12
Speaker
And at some point in time, the letters came into the possession of the Earl of Gowery. Now at that point in time, Elizabeth in her court was going, oh, oh, I kind of want my sister's scandalous letters. Can I have them?
00:20:32
Speaker
And because they thought that the Gauris were treasonous, they'd probably just pass them on. But the Earl of Gauri went, hmm, hmm, hmm. No, I'm not entirely sure that I should do that. I mean, I think I should probably pass them on to my king. And people do wonder whether this was some kind of attempt to curry favour with the English court or get money by, you know, either showing because I want to serve my own king. But yes, I'll give you the letters eventually or
00:21:01
Speaker
You'll get the letters when you give me a whole bunch of coin carried to me by a foreigner, who's maybe aiding Catholics, who knows. But whatever happened, the Earl of Gallery is the last person in history to have been known to have possession of those letters.
00:21:22
Speaker
and it's not clear from the records he ever gave those letters over to James VI of Scotland, James I of England. So maybe James had gone there to get whatever these letters
00:21:38
Speaker
Ah, and the thing is, we don't know what was ever inscribed in those pieces of parchment. History gives us no idea other than the fact that they were very precious to his mother. Right, and we don't know, we don't know what ever happened to them then. No, they completely disappeared from history. Right.
00:22:00
Speaker
Okay, so we have a bunch of motives for why King James might want to show up and just murder the crap out of a bunch of people. Did the Parliament buy it? Did they take his word? I mean, officially they found in favour of the king, but it did seem to be more of a
00:22:20
Speaker
We've really only got a few eyewitnesses to the event, and they do keep claiming they're not lying. I guess we say they're not lying, even though we're very suspicious about the entire story, because the story really makes no sense. It seems very, very ridiculous.
00:22:45
Speaker
Yes. I mean, we could say it was the early 1600s and everybody was probably high on ergot poisoning or full of syphilis or just drunk all the time. Smelling too much mink. Maybe that's the sort of stuff they got up to back then. I don't even know. But yeah, I would be suspicious.
00:23:07
Speaker
So in the present day
Shakespeare Connection and Historical Perspective
00:23:10
Speaker
and age... No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're going to tell me there's more. There's a Shakespeare connection.
00:23:15
Speaker
Oh, even by the 1600s, I suppose, yeah. So there's a strange bit of Shakespearean history that comes in here. So Shakespeare's company, The King's Men, performed a play called The Tragedy of Gowery in 1604. So that's just after James becomes James I of England.
00:23:39
Speaker
Now, there were laws about plays of the day not being allowed to feature reigning monarchs. So the tragedy of Gauri was performed twice until it was banned.
00:23:54
Speaker
And there is no surviving copy of the play at all. Now, we don't know who the author was. You might think that because it's the King's Men, there's a high likelihood that Shakespeare was the author of this particular tragedy. But the King's Men did also perform plays by people who weren't Bill Shakespeare.
00:24:13
Speaker
But many people think that Macbeth is a rewrite of the tragedy of Gallery, by which point Shakespeare probably knew James I of England well enough that Shakespeare might have been the only person who knew the truth of what happened at Gallery House that day. Goodness. So Macbeth, hang on, what happens in Macbeth?
00:24:40
Speaker
His uncle, now that's Hamlet. But Beth, you've got the dude and he wants to, he just gets the vision and the witches tell him he's gonna be king and they murder a bunch of people and his wife has blood on her hands that won't come off and then the forest moves and because of Caesareans or something.
00:24:57
Speaker
Yeah, so in this version of the interpretation, I believe Banquo turns out to be James, and Macbeth is the Earl of Gowery. So this is also playing on the idea that Gowery thought he had a legitimate claim to the Crown, but James as Banquo is the one who eventually becomes the real King of England. Okay, I thought Banquo got killed. Isn't Banquo's ghost one of the... No, isn't that Macduff?
00:25:26
Speaker
Is it? I can't imagine. Oh, no, no, no, you're right. No, sorry, it might be... Anyway, the whole point is, Macbeth dies at the end. Macbeth is gary. It's been a long time since I've read any Shakespeare. No, Macbeth, I didn't. Yeah, no, you're right, because it is. It is. So it must be Macduff.
00:25:47
Speaker
There it lies, the rub. That is really stretching my remaining knowledge of the works of Shakespeare there. Okay, so is that it? That is it, yes. Okay, well that was quite the roller coaster, I have to say. That was a conspiracy that just kept on giving. So, as I was going to say before then, in the present day and age,
00:26:11
Speaker
So all we have, I assume, to go on is just the record of these people's testimony. There's no...
00:26:19
Speaker
nothing else that we future people have the benefit of knowing that might clear this up at all? No, as I say, Gary House was demolished after this event, so any evidence that would have been in the House is completely gone. The only eyewitness testimony is by the King, Henderson, and members of the King's retinue.
00:26:42
Speaker
So by and large we are entirely reliant upon the King's story. Most modern historians now accept that the story is probably true, in part because it doesn't really put James in the best light. So if you're going to tell a lie,
00:26:59
Speaker
you might as well make yourself look clever as opposed to this story which is sorry so you went to the house of no one traitors you went upstairs alone you watched the traitor lock the door after him and you still followed him up there this this doesn't seem like the kind of story you make up at the same time the story makes no sense
00:27:27
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I suppose that's kind of what you expect really, isn't it? They say fiction is harder to write than non-fiction because fiction has to make sense. So maybe the actual details of the actual historical happenings, maybe we should expect them.
00:27:51
Speaker
to be absolute nonsense. Maybe that's more credible.
Modern Comparisons and Reflections
00:27:57
Speaker
So that's the say to things then, isn't it? We have a weird thing that happened that doesn't quite make a lot of sense. It's kind of the Donnie Darko of conspiracy theories, I think, where there's two possible ways of reading it and neither one actually works. Yes, I will agree with that assessment both about this story and also Donnie Darko.
00:28:20
Speaker
Slightly, or possibly a bit of Pan's Labyrinth as well. That's the other one, I think, where there are two readings, which neither one 100% actually works. I always thought with Pan's Labyrinth it's fairly clear it has to be real due to the way that she escapes at one point. There's as much as the way she can escape. That's the one bit where she escapes from the dude by drawing the magic door on the wall.
00:28:43
Speaker
and I don't see how else you could have done it, but then there seem to be other reasons why. I actually saw Pan's Labyrinth in 2006.
00:29:00
Speaker
at a horror movie film festival in London where it was like the the premiere and Guillermo del Toro was there and talked about it and he the way he talked about it he basically said it was all in her head he was like here's this this child trying to make sense of the war going on around her and retreating into a fantasy world um
00:29:23
Speaker
And it's been too long since I've seen it, actually. But I remember, yeah, there was that one specific bit that says, okay, well, that means it can't just be in her head. But then I'm sure there are other things that said, but no, but it can't be real because of something else. I've seen, I had a discussion with a friend ages ago, actually, who said, no, no, it has to be real. It can't not be real. And that's why it's a bad film, because there are all these things that don't follow proper fairy tale rules or something and tried to get me to
00:29:51
Speaker
listened to download like a commentary track to watch, to listen to at the same time as the movie, which would go through all its flaws and tell you exactly why it was wrong. And I was like, so you want me to take a film I like and make myself not like it anymore?
00:30:07
Speaker
I'm not going to do that. Yeah, that does not seem like a good use of anyone's time. No, no. But anyway, that's Pan's Labyrinth, which is... features with Donnie Darko, which features with the story about King James and those wacky galleries.
Podcast Changes and Patron Encouragement
00:30:26
Speaker
And I think I have no more to say about that matter. No, no, I think we haven't quite closed the case on the gallery conspiracy.
00:30:35
Speaker
No, no, that's a shame. Okay, well that sets a worryingly high standard for me next time you decide to do this going in the opposite direction. Which I'm assuming will be in about two weeks time. Because next thing will be an article review and then it'll be your chance to challenge me.
00:30:50
Speaker
Indeed, because I suppose we should say this is the last Thursday of the month when we're recording, which normally would be a news episode, but as has become a bit of a theme in recent times, we're just sick of the news. It's Trump, it's elections, it's COVID. It has been for ever since about March. There isn't a hell of a lot new, we could say, except
00:31:14
Speaker
for a couple of new things we will say in the bonus episode this week. Indeed, now I will point out, if you are the kind of person who misses our monthly news update, you could of course become a patron for as little as a dollar a month, and then you would get that patron bonus stuff, which is news, news, news, news, news, all the time. And by all the time, once a week. And by once a week, I mean basically
00:31:42
Speaker
three times out of four weeks of the month because often we have a bonus episode which isn't news-related to give our patrons something even more special to listen to. Often drawn from the world of art, strangely enough. I think we probably need to compile those into a full regular episode at some stage. I think that's a good idea. We've done the counterfeit Bible stuff
00:32:08
Speaker
had another thing as well, I can't even remember now, something to do with macerated mummies or something. No, macerated the papyrus with papyrologists. We should dig those up and summarise them again. But anyway, we're not doing that now. Right now, we're wrapping up this episode and getting ready to record a bonus episode in which we will talk a little bit about Trump, just a little bit, because there was one kind of interesting conspiracy that we haven't talked about yet.
00:32:37
Speaker
which has been going around, and they haven't quite put a lid on it, but they may as well have. We will talk about what's going on with Kim Jong Un's family, always some wakiness there. We better mention that metal monolith that was found in a canyon in Utah, because that's just too good not to mention.
00:32:56
Speaker
Here at home, we've had some slightly discomforting stuff coming out about a member of the New Zealand Defence Force and the wacky things they've been up to. And we're going to talk about the latest edition of the BBC's Lovecraft Investigations podcast where they tackle shadow over Innsmouth. Yes, there's a lot of exciting content there and also spoiler warnings.
00:33:24
Speaker
Yes, yes, spoiler warnings if you haven't listened to the podcast yet and are planning to. But I think that is all for now. So I say congratulations to you. Round of applause for our inaugural whatever it is we decide to call this particular scheme of podcast episodeing. What the conspiracy? What the conspiracy? Yes.
00:33:47
Speaker
I can't think of anything better, so as a provisional title, it will too. Now, listeners, if you can think of a better title for this thing, why not send that through? Yes, please God, give us a better suggestion.
00:34:02
Speaker
Um, and I think that is all we have to say. So thank you once again to our new patron. You're just the bee's knees. Thank you also to our other patrons. You are all, you are other, other sort of joints on various bee. It's one bee Josh. It's one bee with a lot of joints. Lots of knees. They got six legs. How many joints on each leg?
00:34:24
Speaker
As I'm not a beezologist, I have no idea. Is a beezologist someone who studies bees? Or is it someone who studies Jeff Bezos? Probably someone who studies a bee. Or maybe, someone who's studying a bee. Jeff Bezos was dressed as a bee. I don't know whether it's the researcher who's dressed as a bee, or whether it's Jeff Bezos dressed as a bee. We need a master's grant to find out.
00:34:47
Speaker
Yes. All I know for sure is that knees are involved. At any rate, new patron is good. Existing patrons are good. People who aren't patrons just to listen to us are good. Good. Good. Are gourd. Gourd. They are gourd by balls for not being patrons. I thought you were saying gourd as a plant. As a plant. Well, they could be. We could have some sort of invasion of the body snatcher type scenario for our listeners who aren't. Baby snatchers.
00:35:15
Speaker
And I am suggesting there's an invasion of the baby snatchers. Right. I seem to have lost the ability to pronounce ordinary words, so I'm just going to say goodbye and leave the rest to you. I'm going to say gla bla. Perfect.
00:35:37
Speaker
You've been listening to the podcaster's guide to the conspiracy, starring Josh Addison and Dr. M.R. Extended, which is written, researched, recorded and produced by Josh and Em. You can support the podcast by becoming a patron via its Podbean or Patreon campaigns. And if you need to get in contact with either Josh or Em, you can email them at podcastconspiracyatgmail.com or check their Twitter accounts, Mikey Fluids and Conspiracism.
00:36:38
Speaker
And remember, the truth is out there, but not quite where you think you left it.