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EP 49 - Quit My Job or Show More Grit?
6 Plays1 year ago
Today’s question:
I’m in my mid-twenties and a professional in the medical field. I love what I do and its importance to society. But it’s an incredibly demanding field. I’m currently dealing with a short-staffed organization, exhausting shifts, and a manager who emotionally drains me. During a recent vacation, they went so far as to call me just to make me feel guilty for taking time off.
My qualifications are in high demand, and by all rights I should quit to take advantage of the current job market. Yet I feel guilty about the impact that would have on my co-workers and the clients I care for. What advice do you have on dealing with the anguish & anxiety that I’m feeling?
Nobody should feel anguish or animosity at work. At least not on a daily basis. But you are right to check yourself, especially when it can lead to a career & lifestyle altering decision. Is what you’re experiencing a case of organizational toxicity you should leave, or a sign you might lack the grit the job requires?
For more info and to download a free PDF of today's episode notes, visit: www.chriskreuter.com/CDWI
Join the Kreuter Studios mailing list: https://mailchi.mp/810367311f3d/ksbulletin
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Transcript
Bridging the Gap: Wisdom & Techniques
00:00:15
Speaker
Crystal Deal with it focuses on bridging the gap between where you're at now and where you'd like to be. We'll explore wisdom and techniques from a wide variety of domains and industries, and apply them to your unique challenges. I love developing frameworks, processes, and storytelling metaphors that enable personal and business growth. Through actionable next steps, we'll build momentum and confidence. My goal is to help you clear roadblocks, do more with what you have, and realize the potential of yourself and your team. So throw your challenges my way, and Crystal Deal.
00:00:50
Speaker
First, an AI statement that all elements of this episode are products of the author, Chris Kreuter, and made without the use of any AI tools. Welcome to episode 49 of Crystal Deal
Handling Job Stress in a Toxic Environment
00:01:01
Speaker
With It. Quit my job or show more grit. Let's jump right into today's question.
00:01:07
Speaker
Hi Chris, I'm in my mid-20s and a professional in the medical field. I love what I do and its importance to society. But it's an incredibly demanding field. I'm currently dealing with a short-staffed organization, exhausting shifts, and a manager who emotionally drains me. During a recent vacation, they went so far as to call me just to make me feel guilty for taking time off. My qualifications are in high demand, and by all rights, I should quit to take advantage of the current job market.
00:01:34
Speaker
Yet I feel guilty about the impact that would have on my coworkers and the clients that I care for. What advice do you have on dealing with the anguish and anxiety that I'm feeling?
00:01:43
Speaker
So nobody should feel anguish or animosity at work, at least not on a daily basis. But you are right to check yourself, especially when it can lead to a career and lifestyle altering decision. Is what you're experiencing a case of organizational toxicity that you should leave? Or a sign that you might lack the grit the job requires? So let's start with the manager. Is your situation due in large part to a toxic boss? Or is it really your company's culture that drives the toxicity?
00:02:11
Speaker
There's the potential your boss needs to be a hard-ass in order to survive themselves. They often have their own objectives and requirements passed down from higher up. And they're human, too. Maybe there's something going on with them at work. Personality-wise, what tends to rankle them? Is it punctuality, attention to detail, perceived dedication? Plain old respect. How well do you have a read on them?
00:02:35
Speaker
and acknowledge that they probably have specific skills, deficiencies, and unique talents they're bringing to their role. It's hard to get over anxieties about our managers or bosses without building at least a baseline level of trust. Now, it should be cutting both ways, as it's beneficial to earn employees trust if you're going to ask them to work a demanding job and or have difficult conversations about the work that you're doing.
00:02:59
Speaker
And there might be policies or environmental factors outside of you and your boss's control that are going to undermine the ability to earn trust. Some examples here might be a strict policy restricting time off or employee schedule flexibility or cut through a commission structure amongst the sales team.
00:03:16
Speaker
And does your boss even know you're having a problem? People can't fix or adapt to what they don't know is broken or not working. Are you about to boil over? Or is the heat that they're giving you just starting to get you towards boiling? Regardless of what you say, they may lack the ability, the desire, and or the bandwidth to make changes.
00:03:36
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Let's change tack for a minute and discuss the boundaries you have around work.
Balancing Work-Life Boundaries
00:03:39
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Work can often become a scapegoat for things we have going on in our personal lives. Are stressors at home or in relationships bleeding over into work? It's near impossible to stay centered and balanced if you're overwhelmed at home and at work, but it's a lot easier to quit your job. Is your personal situation such that you're going to be bringing similar stressors to whatever job you take next?
00:04:02
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And how much is your current job supporting your lifestyle? Are you in a position to make a drastic change? And the pay isn't always worth what you have to do to earn it, but sometimes your personal situation may require sticking out an awful job. You have to be realistic.
00:04:18
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And are you allowing work to bleed too much into your personal life? Are you checking emails after hours? Constantly making sacrifices at home for the sake of your company? Taking phone calls when you're supposed to be on vacation? Are you placing too much of your self-identity on your job? We should be working to live, not living to work.
Deciding to Quit: Pros & Cons
00:04:36
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So let's talk about this quitting option. What options does our asker have if they decide it's just not worth the headaches anymore?
00:04:43
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Be wary of becoming disgruntled feeling like you have to get back at perceived wrongs. If you've decided to leave, find a peaceful, professional way to leave if you can. Does there really need to be a mic drop moment? Your boss today could one day become your co-worker, manager, customer, supplier, or maybe even your employee. Same with your fellow co-workers. Leave them with the best impressions of you that you can, even if that means stifling some resentments on the way out.
00:05:11
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But before you even take the leap and quit, do you know where you're going to land? Few of us could afford to quit without a destination chosen. And is the grass truly greener over at that destination? Or are you jumping for the sake of jumping? Be wary of becoming someone who jumps too quick and too often. It can become harder to build a network of trust with management and coworkers, which often comes through working together through challenges.
Quiet Quitting as a Temporary Solution
00:05:36
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And I'm going to address this recent trend of quiet quitting, the doing of the bare minimum required of the job and still collecting a paycheck, and being as emotionally withdrawn from the work as possible. I do feel there's a time and a place where this strategy can be effective.
00:05:52
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But there is the potential for this philosophy of work to damage your reputation. It's likely going to be more effective if you have a critical role at a company or have a lot of career capital and or have traditionally been someone who goes over and above who is now saying no far more often. And that's how this mentality of quiet quitting can be useful in my opinion. It can become a useful way of learning how to say no and setting better boundaries around work.
00:06:18
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If your boss and upper management are attentive, your withdrawal could become a useful tool for them to gauge your actual value. This may cause them to re-engage with you, addressing your concerns to bring you back into the fold. And if so, meet them halfway. Have that dialogue and try to make it work.
00:06:37
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And if you're not willing to meet them halfway, should they be attentive to these changes you're making? Then you should approach quiet quitting as an exit ramp. Put as much of the time and care you're going to pull from your current employer to find that next landing spot and or address the other elements of your life that could be sources of stress.
Improving Work Conditions
00:06:54
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Okay, now what about grit? What actions could our ask or take to making things work at their current employer? Well, first off, talk to your manager. As I said before, managers can't fix what they don't know is broken. And they may not have the ability or authority to make the fixes that you're thinking about.
00:07:12
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You could talk to someone above your manager. Now going above your boss is hard to recover from, regardless of the result. The exception here is someone who is being truly abusive. If you're going to leave, then your boss is going to have to justify what happened to their boss. You may need to or want to control this narrative by bringing your concerns and or complaints to that higher level. Now this is the case here, do it in writing first.
00:07:37
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While it is possible you can get your boss reprimanded or even fired, try to go into a conversation with their boss with some idea of what your desired outcome is and what you're prepared to do should it not happen.
00:07:49
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You're going to want to avoid vague threats or uncertainty here. Clearly set the expectations for change, maybe the needs for more effective boundaries, and what improvement looks like to you. And avoid setting your expectations too rigid. There's humans involved, as well as a complex network of relationships, history, and company culture. It's almost always messy and never simple.
00:08:12
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Another option, continue to stew. You could possibly poison the well here. In our askers case as a medical professional on high demand, they may have the clout and equity to pull on more levers for change, but how you pull them matters.
00:08:27
Speaker
Be wary of burning your bridges or further eroding the environment for yourself, your boss, and especially your coworkers. Keep in mind that you may have the means to survive without this job, but some of your coworkers might not. Anything you do that puts them or their jobs at risk will not be taken kindly and almost certainly tarnish your reputation. So try to avoid letting the situation seep into the customer or client experience.
00:08:52
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Be wary of seeing your actions too altruistically or not enough. And by this I mean thinking that I'm doing this for my co-workers so they don't have to put up with it. But you don't necessarily understand all the nuances of their jobs and their lives. You may not understand the impacts that that could have on their livelihoods.
00:09:11
Speaker
And there is a difference between standing up for yourself and being insubordinate. Lastly, our asker could decide just to bring more grit to the job. You could recognize that you're bringing unrealistic expectations to the work. Not every job is an easy cakewalk. In fact, few of them worth doing are. You can take perspective on your company, the job itself, or your chosen career as a whole. There are far worse things we could probably be doing to make a living.
00:09:39
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Yes, there may be better employers out there and there may be a lot of worse ones too. It's hard to know. But you may recognize that the devil you know is a more stable place. And finding a way to make it work could turn your current job into one worth keeping.
Retaining Top Talent: Key Strategies
00:09:54
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So instead of a quote for today's episode, I'm gonna flip this script a bit and offer four helpful tips for employers to keep their best employees. One, be authentic and open and allow them to be authentic and open.
00:10:07
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2. Build trust by giving them space and some authority to do what you're paying them to do. 3. Throw parties. Cultivate some joy and camaraderie. And 4. Truly invest in your team's wellness. Allow them to bring their best selves to their job and grow into tomorrow's team leaders. And with that, have a great day.
Supporting the Podcast & Resources
00:10:28
Speaker
If you feel that Chris dealt with it, I'd appreciate your support of the show by sharing it with someone who might benefit. Ratings on your favorite podcast player are also helpful in growing the audience. Visit chriscroiter.com for free downloadable PDFs, notes, and resources from today's episode. Sign up for the CDWY mailing list, or to send in your problems or requests for future shows. That's C-H-R-I-S-K-R-E-U-T-E-R.com. Or use the link in the show notes. Thanks for listening to Chris O'Deal.
00:11:03
Speaker
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