The unnerving power of no

We deal with decisions every day. Many of the episodes deal with the decision process on both a grand and low level. Three Voices deals with how we communicate these decisions, work through them, talk to both ourselves and others about them. Going with your gut—the universal advice–is telling you to listen to your first voice.

Understanding the “Why” Behind Your Choices

Sometimes we say yes, and sometimes we say no. BeCAUSE! explores the why behind those decisions, why some feel really good, and why others might feel really bad. Sometimes the wrong decision feels good and sometimes the right one feels bad.

Why the Right Decision Can Feel Bad

But how can the right one feel bad? It’s for the same reason that having your third piece of cake can feel good. If you’ve read BeCAUSE! then you know that we are seeking pleasure and avoiding pain on a complex granular level. We want the cake because the first two felt pretty good, ya know what I mean? But that doesn’t make it the right decision. Diets sometimes feel bad. Avoiding a food we love feels bad, avoiding a food we consider a reward feels worse, and avoiding a food we deem to be the only reward we get in our very stressful, controlled life feels horrible. But it’s the right thing to do.

We get this mostly when it comes to ‘guilty pleasures’ or things that we consider to be things we do purely for pleasure—playing games, watching TV and movies, binge watching our favorite series, escaping deep into a book, desserts, hobbies, etc. But we are far less cognizant of this when it comes to seemingly neutral decisions—or even decisions that aren’t even needed.

High-Stakes Decisions: When “No” is the Right Move in Business

Take for example the dilemma of the solopreneur. Every dollar counts and each new client and gig is a win, right? Keep building, keep growing, keep increasing your reach and client base. More and more work. More and more clients. But what happens when a new gig isn’t a fit? What happens when a new client isn’t a fit? Should you do it anyway?

Take creatives like people who produce music, or art. If a company wants them to create a jingle for alcohol, but their music is about the opposite (or the band leader is sober now going on five years) what then?

Take the manager that has to interview a number of people, but is told that one individual is good for the company but there are two others that clearly have better skills, a personality more in line with the mission, and a better track record. What then?

What if your small company is presented with an opportunity to rescue a company from a crumbling infrastructure and you could be the hero? On paper it looks like a great opportunity if they just purchase all the equipment you propose and allow you the control needed to make it work for them (with ongoing involvement). But what if your first voice, your gut, your intuition tells you this won’t be the way it plays o