I’m going to ask you a simple question: Are you available right now? Of course, you’re listening to this, so your immediate answer is “yes.” But are you?
For years, I’ve talked about the constant negotiation between our time, energy, and resources. Today, I want to zero in on a nuance that seems small at first but has massive implications for our work, our relationships, and our own well-being. It’s the difference between being merely present and being truly available.
Think about a typical corporate scenario. You ask Mike and Sarah from HR if they are available for a 3:30 meeting, and they agree. They show up. They are physically in the conference room or logged into the video call. They have made their time available. But is their energy available?
You know what I’m talking about. You see the vacant nods, the lack of retention. On a video call, you see the tell-tale white glow on their face from another screen or the reflection of scrolling text in their glasses. They are physically present, but their energy—their focus, their mental capacity—is somewhere else entirely. Maybe Sarah has a problem at home, and her mind is there. In that case, no matter what her calendar says, she’s not really available for your meeting. The time is there, but the energy isn’t.
This becomes even more obvious when you’re a speaker or a teacher. You can have a room full of people who showed up for your 10 a.m. workshop. Their time is committed. But you see them fidgeting, looking at their phones, their minds clearly elsewhere. Their energy is being siphoned off, and as a result, they aren’t available to receive what you’re trying to give them.
This concept doesn’t just live at the office. It follows us home. You and your spouse might set aside two hours to sit in the same room and “spend time together.” You are technically available, right? But if you’re staring at your phone or have your laptop open, and every question they ask is met with a distracted, “Huh? What?” then you aren’t available for them. You’re available for your screen. Your energy is flowing toward your device, not your partner.
This is why an activity like playing a video game together can feel so connecting. You are both intensely available for the game, which means your energy is focused on the same goal. You are, in fact, available for each other.
This brings us to the most crucial relationship of all: the one you have with yourself. How often are you truly available for you?
This isn’t some esoteric concept. It’s profoundly practical. You might think, “I have free will. I’m always available for myself because I choose what to do.” But that’s not how life really works. How often have you committed to a task at work, but your brain is already on vacation? Or you come home from the office, but you haven’t mentally clocked out?
That drive home used to be a forc