What’s your learning style?

Do you know what your learning style is? Did you know you have one? For a long time I have known about the diferent ways humans learn. People not only have aptitudes (someone is good with mechanical stuff, or math, etc.) but also differ in the way they learn. Same resulting information, different ways of it to enter your head.

I truly wish we would explore this in the schools because it would make all the difference in the world for kids and people trying to learn. What I have come to recognize any time I am teaching (conversations, consulting, teaching, coaching, workshops) is that I can detect the style just by watching the person as they learn. Here are the styles I’ve come across and what I notice.

The styles

Audio – people who learn this way learn mostly by hearing the information. They are watching you, sure, but they focus mostly on what you are saying. These people may make facial gestures as they listen. They might seem to be staring at you. They really prefer audiobooks instead of regular print books. They might seem to be ignoring what you are putting on your white board. They are waiting for you to tell them something.

Visual – You hear this a lot – “Im a visual learner.” Obviously this means they are watching very carefully and pay most of their attention to what they see. So, your diagrams and text on the board is devoured. They will talk with their hands typically. I’m Sicilian so I do this anyway. Some teachers seem to think that everyone is one of these kind of learners.

Conceptual – The conceptual learner is really inwardly focused on what he/she is processing. I know when I am talking to one of this tribe because they tilt their heads and usually look up at the upper right. I know because I’m a member of this tribe. It’s sometimes disorienting for others as it looks like I might not be listening, or that i m doubting what they are saying. In a way they are right—I am testing the concept they are relaying with what I know, and creating it in my head to see. Conceptual Lerners tend to “take things to heart” immediately. They learn faster and harder, but will be quick to lose interest if they are not engaged.

This list is from experience, anectotal evidence, and a bit of research. Your results may vary, but knowing this can be very useful and not only help you communicate better but prevent misunderstandings between different learners.

Like the love langauges, people aren’t just one of these and can be a mix.

This podcast, unlike most, comes with an article typically. The article is written in an authoritative manner to make the reading and absorbing of the concepts easy. The recording is me speaking in a more conversational tone.

Maybe when I get more patrons I’ll start creating videos as well. They I’ll have all of y’all covered.

Q: Which kind of learner are you?

Q: Have you ever run into difficulty learning because it was presented one way and that way was not a style you favored?

The post

Learning styles and learning right in front of someone

Transcript

What is Apathy? The Answer Might Surprise You

Well, hey there. Welcome back. What’s this episode about? Who cares?

So, many years ago, I was with a few of my friends and one of my friends said, “What’s apathy?” And my other friend said, “Who cares?” And it took a little while to realize that he was actually answering the question.

Visualizing Motivation: The Psychology of “BeCAUSE! [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1733662286/]“

As you may or may not know, I’ve written patent-pending software now that actually can help me to do behavioral mapping. It’s an offshoot of my latest book called Because. And I’m finding there are many, many offshoots of the whole concept of Because, which is based on Freud’s pleasure principle: seek pleasure, avoid pain. The software has allowed me to visualize all of these interesting concepts that might be kind of hard to visualize. And in doing so, it’s allowed me to see things that even I didn’t see while writing the book.

Why You Never Finish Your To-Do List

Let’s talk about your to-do list to make this a little clearer. You can create a to-do list and then you can assign priorities. You can create a to-do list and then you can convince yourself that the one you really want to do is the one you should do. I talk about this in one of the chapters. You’ve probably made many to-do lists. Some of them grand, some of them small.

But like most people, you don’t have a sort of a grand overarching to-do list. Like your life list, if you will. You can get complicated. And on that life list, you can have, “I’m going to climb a mountain.” “Here’s my bucket list.” “Here’s me finding love.” Here is, “Oh, that’s right. I have to get groceries. I have to cut the grass.” Like, all these things are to-dos, and some of them are of a grander scale or not.

If you think about your own list, there might be something that you keep putting on there, but you never do it. And so if we apply monsters and unicorns and we mapped it out, we could probably see that maybe there’s something painful about it, that there’s just too much pain that this thing generates and you feel like there’s no return on investment. Or there’s just not enough pleasure generated, or there’s not enough pain being generated if you don’t do it.

The Unfinished Novel: A Case Study in Laziness vs. Apathy

Let’s take an example. Let’s say you have an awesome life doing what you do. You have your full-time job. You’re invested. You have a career and all that stuff. And one day you’re thinking, “You know what, I wouldn’t mind writing a novel, a fiction.”

So, you put that on your little to-do list and you think about it sometimes. And once in a great while, you write a few words here and there. And finally, after seeing it on your list and looking back on the fact that you’ve been writing this novel for almost a year now and have almos

What’s Apathy?  Who cares.

Are You Truly Available? The Critical Difference Between Time and Energy

I’m going to ask you a simple question: Are you available right now? Of course, you’re listening to this, so your immediate answer is “yes.” But are you?

For years, I’ve talked about the constant negotiation between our time, energy, and resources. Today, I want to zero in on a nuance that seems small at first but has massive implications for our work, our relationships, and our own well-being. It’s the difference between being merely present and being truly available.

More Than a Calendar Invite: Availability at Work

Think about a typical corporate scenario. You ask Mike and Sarah from HR if they are available for a 3:30 meeting, and they agree. They show up. They are physically in the conference room or logged into the video call. They have made their time available. But is their energy available?

You know what I’m talking about. You see the vacant nods, the lack of retention. On a video call, you see the tell-tale white glow on their face from another screen or the reflection of scrolling text in their glasses. They are physically present, but their energy—their focus, their mental capacity—is somewhere else entirely. Maybe Sarah has a problem at home, and her mind is there. In that case, no matter what her calendar says, she’s not really available for your meeting. The time is there, but the energy isn’t.

This becomes even more obvious when you’re a speaker or a teacher. You can have a room full of people who showed up for your 10 a.m. workshop. Their time is committed. But you see them fidgeting, looking at their phones, their minds clearly elsewhere. Their energy is being siphoned off, and as a result, they aren’t available to receive what you’re trying to give them.

Divided Attention: The Availability Gap in Our Personal Lives

This concept doesn’t just live at the office. It follows us home. You and your spouse might set aside two hours to sit in the same room and “spend time together.” You are technically available, right? But if you’re staring at your phone or have your laptop open, and every question they ask is met with a distracted, “Huh? What?” then you aren’t available for them. You’re available for your screen. Your energy is flowing toward your device, not your partner.

This is why an activity like playing a video game together can feel so connecting. You are both intensely available for the game, which means your energy is focused on the same goal. You are, in fact, available for each other.

The Most Important Question: Are You Available for Yourself?

This brings us to the most crucial relationship of all: the one you have with yourself. How often are you truly available for you?

This isn’t some esoteric concept. It’s profoundly practical. You might think, “I have free will. I’m always available for myself because I choose what to do.” But that’s not how life really works. How often have you committed to a task at work, but your brain is already on vacation? Or you come home from the office, but you haven’t mentally clocked out?

That drive home used to be a forc

The Availability Gap: Why Your Energy Matters More Than Your Time

The CEO Mindset: Why a Fast Decision Beats a Slow Promise

In the world of productivity and time management, we’re often told to optimize our calendars and to-do lists. But what if the single most effective habit of top performers isn’t about complex systems, but about one simple principle? A fast “no” is always better than a time-wasting “yes.” This core idea reveals the true CEO mindset—a way of thinking focused on decisive action that has nothing to do with your job title and everything to do with reducing stress and reclaiming your time.

The Surprising Trait of High-Achievers

You might think that world-renowned authors, tech luminaries, and presidential candidates are the hardest people to schedule. The reality is often the exact opposite. The common thread among these high-achievers is their ability to make a decision—and make it fast.

When presented with an opportunity, they don’t leave it lingering in their inbox. They respond with a definitive “yes” or a respectful “no,” often within days. This isn’t because they have more free time; it’s because they have mastered their time by eliminating indecision. People who are hard to pin down are often drowning in a sea of non-committal “maybes,” a cycle that creates more work and anxiety for everyone involved.

How Procrastination Creates Hidden Stress

Every task you put off—every email you promise to “get back to”—occupies valuable mental real estate. This constant loop of unfinished business is a major source of hidden stress. It’s like having too many apps open on your phone; eventually, everything slows down.

Conversely, taking immediate action, whether it’s tackling a task or simply scheduling a firm time to do it, frees up that mental space. The goal isn’t necessarily to do everything at once, but to decide its fate immediately. By converting a vague “I’ll do that later” into a concrete calendar event, you give your future self a clear command and your present self the gift of peace.

Your Action Plan: From Indecision to Control

Adopting this leadership mindset is straightforward. The next time a request or task comes your way, you have two powerful choices:

 1. Act or Schedule Immediately: If you intend to do it, either do it right then or pull out your calendar and assign it a non-negotiable time slot. This is the essence of effective scheduling.
 2. Give a Fast, Honest “No”: If you don’t have the time, energy, or desire to do something, say so. A quick and polite “no” is a sign of respect for your own time and the other person’s. It closes the loop and prevents the stress of a lingering, unfulfilled promise.

By becoming a decisive person, you’ll find that the stress leading up to a decision was always the worst part. You’ll accomplish more, feel better a

A fast “no” is always better than a time-wasting “yes.”

I find it quite illuminating to speak with people from all over the world. The power of our technology and interconnected world is that it allows me to have conversations I could never have.

I had the pleasure of chatting with Jamyang in this week’s podcast.

Jamyang Loden

Jamyang Loden is a monk from Bhutan, the “country of gross national happiness,” (you’ll hear more about this later) currently residing at Ludakaru monastery in Bumang, central Bhutan. He has been living a monastic life since he was seven years old and is studying Buddhist philosophies.

Even monks have YouTube channels

Jamyang created a youtube channel (see link) to showcase Bhutan to the outside world from their own perspective.

Daily Life of a Monk

Jamyang Loden details his daily routine as a monk, starting at 4:30 a.m. If you’ve ever wondered what that actually looks like, you’ll find out in detail.

English Proficiency

English is a second language in Bhutan, and younger generations born after 2000 are particularly fluent. That makes it rather easy for me to have a chat like this and I am always appreciative that English is still the lingua franca.

Bhutan’s Geographical Location and Unique Qualities

Bhutan’s location is situated between China to the north and India to the south.

There are some unique facts about Bhutan, including its history of never being conquered and its status as a carbon-negative country. The country’s constitution mandates maintaining at least 60% forest coverage, contributing to its green landscape and small population of just over 700,000.

Bhutan’s Approach to Infrastructure and Nature

Bhutan is nearly 100% powered by hydropower. To me, Bhutanese architecture is harmonizing with nature, with buildings appearing integrated into the landscape and resembling sculptures. The drawings of the new international airport in Gelephu, which incorporates natural elements like trees indoors and features a modular design.

Gelephu Mindfulness City

Gelephu Mindfulness City is a unique, large-scale project initiated by the king, designed to promote mindful living amidst nature. Uunlike cities with skyscrapers, Gelephu will integrate natural elements, allowing wildlife like elephants to roam within the city, providing tourists with a tranquil and immersive experience. It is an amazing project that you might hear more about on this channel…

Meditation Practices

I asked Jamyang for advice on meditation for those who find it difficult to stop thinking—not that this is ever an issue for me. :). Hear what he said. It might surprise you.

Check out his channel, FB and instagram, and tell him Alchemy for Life sent you!

Jamyang’s contact info:

https://www.youtube.com/@jamyangloden4935

Mindfulness from Bhutan – my chat with a monk named Jamyang.

We deal with decisions every day. Many of the episodes deal with the decision process on both a grand and low level. Three Voices [https://www.amazon.com/Three-Voices-languages-communicate-yourself/dp/173366226X]deals with how we communicate these decisions, work through them, talk to both ourselves and others about them. Going with your gut—the universal advice–is telling you to listen to your first voice.

Understanding the “Why” Behind Your Choices

Sometimes we say yes, and sometimes we say no. BeCAUSE! [http://markbradford.org/because] explores the why behind those decisions, why some feel really good, and why others might feel really bad. Sometimes the wrong decision feels good and sometimes the right one feels bad.

Why the Right Decision Can Feel Bad

But how can the right one feel bad? It’s for the same reason that having your third piece of cake can feel good. If you’ve read BeCAUSE! then you know that we are seeking pleasure and avoiding pain on a complex granular level. We want the cake because the first two felt pretty good, ya know what I mean? But that doesn’t make it the right decision. Diets sometimes feel bad. Avoiding a food we love feels bad, avoiding a food we consider a reward feels worse, and avoiding a food we deem to be the only reward we get in our very stressful, controlled life feels horrible. But it’s the right thing to do.

We get this mostly when it comes to ‘guilty pleasures’ or things that we consider to be things we do purely for pleasure—playing games, watching TV and movies, binge watching our favorite series, escaping deep into a book, desserts, hobbies, etc. But we are far less cognizant of this when it comes to seemingly neutral decisions—or even decisions that aren’t even needed.

High-Stakes Decisions: When “No” is the Right Move in Business

Take for example the dilemma of the solopreneur. Every dollar counts and each new client and gig is a win, right? Keep building, keep growing, keep increasing your reach and client base. More and more work. More and more clients. But what happens when a new gig isn’t a fit? What happens when a new client isn’t a fit? Should you do it anyway?

Take creatives like people who produce music, or art. If a company wants them to create a jingle for alcohol, but their music is about the opposite (or the band leader is sober now going on five years) what then?

Take the manager that has to interview a number of people, but is told that one individual is good for the company but there are two others that clearly have better skills, a personality more in line with the mission, and a better track record. What then?

What if your small company is presented with an opportunity to rescue a company from a crumbling infrastructure and you could be the hero? On paper it looks like a great opportunity if they just purchase all the equipment you propose and allow you the control needed to make it work for them (with ongoing involvement). But what if your first voice [https://www.alchemyfor.life/balancecoaching/tag/three-voices/], your gut, your intuition tells you this won’t be the way it plays o

The unnerving power of no

The Enduring Metaphor of Angels and Devils

The metaphorical representation of a devil and an angel on a person’s shoulders dates back to the 16th century1. Throughout the 17th and 18th centuries, this concept was prominently featured in plays and allegorical art. By the early 1900s, it had found its way into cartoons as a visual shorthand to depict the internal struggle between virtues and vices. The angel serves to keep one on the “straight and narrow,” while the devil tempts one toward vices and earthly pleasures.

A New Metaphor: The Monster and the Unicorn

Did you hear what the devil is trying to get you to do? He was pulling you towards pleasures. Which does he sound like? The unicorn.

Confusing, no?

Well, no, not at all when you realize that the angel and devil metaphors are not the same as the “monster” and “unicorn.” This distinction can be a source of confusion for some who mistakenly believe them to be interchangeable.

In literature, the roles are clearly defined: the angel encourages you to do what is right and good, which is often the more challenging path. Conversely, the devil tempts you to take the easy, lazy, vindictive, or even mean-spirited route. The angel represents good, while the devil embodies bad.

However, neither the monster nor the unicorn is inherently good or bad; they are neutral. They function as psychological building blocks, each with a singular purpose driven by a cause. The unicorn pulls you toward pleasure and actively seeks it with you. Its goal is for you to experience pleasure, and it tugs at you when it finds it. The monster, on the other hand, wants to protect you from any and all pain.

As we know, “no pain, no gain.” Some necessary life experiences involve pain, and not all pleasurable things should be pursued.

The Overlap Between Angels, Devils, Monsters, and Unicorns

In some instances, the devil’s work aligns with the unicorn’s, as he encourages the pursuit of earthly pleasures and vices. The angel’s role can mirror the monster’s by trying to keep you on a path that minimizes future sadness and regret, preventing actions you might later look back on with remorse.

However, the devil can also perform the monster’s function by convincing you to avoid something simply because it is difficult. The angel, at times, does the work of the unicorn by pushing you toward a higher, happier, and kinder purpose, which naturally feels good.

Under the Hood: The Building Blocks of Morality

In literature and even in your own imagination, if you have perceived morality as a struggle between a devil and an angel, you will find that both are composed of multiple monsters and unicorns.

Your morality is constructed by these monsters and unicorns working in concert with a purpose. The way you pair and combine them creates powerful forces within your psyche. If you build your angel with a host of strong monsters and unicorns, your devil will be comparatively weak, and the reverse is also true.

While we often vi

When the Devil Sounds Like a Unicorn

A primer on the book BeCAUSE! [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1733662286/]

For those that have yet to read my new book because. Here’s a quick primer.

One day, I asked myself a question. If you could have anything you wanted, wouldn’t you? We already know how to do most things and if we don’t, we can Google them or talk to others about it. We want to lose weight, be a better person, learn a new skill, get a new job, pursue a meaningful career, be a better parent, become more resilient, and the list goes on.

But we don’t do that. Sometimes we struggle and sometimes we don’t.

There are things that in spite of us doing everything right we can’t seem to do. On the flipside there are things that we accomplish easily and our friends get very frustrated with us and simply say that “we just have a knack for it.”

Research

My research led to two very important things:

Sigmund Freud’s pleasure principle.

Intense research on what all top performers have in common

But this wasn’t enough. Neither one of those things answered the real question they just stopped.

So I took it further and that is what created the book because.

Survival mode tell-tale signs

In this short episode, we give a recap of the book and talk about what it means to wake up to a monster.

The post Waking up to a Monster. Are you in Survival Mode? [https://www.alchemyfor.life/balancecoaching/2025/06/28/waking-up-to-a-monster-are-you-in-survival-mode/] first appeared on Alchemy For Life [https://www.alchemyfor.life/balancecoaching].

Waking up to a Monster.  Are you in Survival Mode?

I’ve done two podcast episodes on large language models. I recently spun up and installed a large language model locally on my computer and built a project around it. I’m an avid user of echoes from Amazon. I have had Grammarly kick in to spellcheck for me. I tell my phone to add an appointment to my schedule all the time.

And I have a dire warning for you.

MIT study

A recent MIT study proved something that I have been thinking for quite some time. Using.EEG (brain scans.) to provide data, the study showed that those who relied on ChatGPT for ideas and help with papers tended to not even to remember most of what they wrote. A lot of them didn’t even properly remember the titles. The bottom line was that they’re deeper learning wasn’t being engaged and when it wasn’t being engaged, it meant they weren’t using it. And it was getting weaker.

AI, the firming paradox and the end of the world

What science fiction and many people tell us is that AI will become sentient, judge mankind, find them wanting and wipe them out. And that will be it for us. But I believe it will happen in a very different way and is already happening.

But we can stop it.

Consider what I am suggesting, reflect on your own use, and read the MIT study for yourself.

Just don’t use an LLM to summarize it for you.

The post A Dire Warning: the MIT study and ChatGPT [https://www.alchemyfor.life/balancecoaching/2025/06/19/a-dire-warning-the-mit-study-and-chatgpt/] first appeared on Alchemy For Life [https://www.alchemyfor.life/balancecoaching].

A Dire Warning: the MIT study and ChatGPT

Helpful episodes

Every year I create a list of the top, most useful and helpful episodes of the previous year. This year because there has been a lot of interaction on current episodes. I’ve decided to do a midyear pause and reflect if you will.

Here are the top episodes in 2025 so far

Manuel Rendon of Timeplast and 4d programmable matter [https://www.alchemyfor.life/balancecoaching/2025/01/12/manuel-rendon-of-timeplast-and-4d-programmable-matter/]Meet Manuel Rendon, certified polymer science inventor and CEO of Timeplast, Inc. My first interview episode of 2025. Manuel joins the ranks of Scott Adams, the late John McAfee and others. 4d matter In the world of plastics, everything pretty much repels water. But what if you could create a plastic that truly dissolves in water …

Teacher, Teach Thyself [https://www.alchemyfor.life/balancecoaching/2025/02/02/teacher-teach-thyself/] Q&A and the answer (That’s so meta) Have you ever helped a friend who has a question or a conundrum, and the answer was so obvious to you that you easily spelled it out for them? You felt pretty smart. You noticed at some point that when you’ve had issues you turn to others for …

What I learned writing a screenplay [https://www.alchemyfor.life/balancecoaching/2025/02/09/what-i-learned-writing-a-screenplay/] (and how it might help you tell your own story) Telling a story in an unfamiliar medium with constraints you’re not accustomed to is a common theme in business. You may be the best story teller in your circle/medium/genre but if you need to tell your story outside of that it can be a challenge, …

The Anatomy of Ghosting [https://www.alchemyfor.life/balancecoaching/2025/04/06/the-anatomy-of-ghosting/] We all know what it is. We have all done it. We’ve all had it done to us. Let’s talk about when it’s appropriate when it’s not, and why it can be so frustrating.

Non-Local Consciousness [https://www.alchemyfor.life/balancecoaching/2025/05/11/non-local-consciousness/] Let’s talk about non-local consciousness, who you’re really talking to when you’re on the phone, what happens to me and possibly you when something is put on the back burner.

Hypnosis and speaking to your manager. [https://www.alchemyfor.life/balancecoaching/2025/06/01/hypnosis-and-speaking-to-your-manager/] Speaking to the manager I want to speak to the manager. Rather, I want to speak to your manager. What do you think of when I say that? Do you think of the structure of your current employer? Do you make a joke that it’s your cat? Is there a spouse joke in there for you?

Good or Evil? [https://www.alchemyfor.life/balancecoaching/2025/05/22/good-or-evil/] A philosophical question for you. Don’t forget you can pause the episode to consider the question(s) as you move forward. How would you answer? Alchemy for Life™ podcast explores themes of experimental psychology, relationships, cognitive science, human behavior, mental models, consciousness, and psychological insights. We uncover hidden truths and ways to improve your life and get .

Which one is your favorite and why? Was it one I missed?

What episodes are notable in 2025 so far?

Recover time energy and resources in your life. Have fun. Understand.