Transcript
Speaker: Welcome back to Optimal Equestrian, a podcast where I dive into how to optimize ourselves, our horses, and our businesses.
Speaker: Today we are going to be talking about sobriety and how that can be a huge hack for your productivity, your performance, and just if you're like sober curious, have been thinking about how your habits just aren't really serving you anymore.
Speaker: Maybe you're doing dry January right now and you need a little...
Speaker: pick me up to get through the rest of the month, some tips and tricks.
Speaker: This is the episode for you.
Speaker: So today we are going to be talking about, I'm going to share a little bit of my story and how changing my relationship with alcohol has helped with my performance and my productivity and all the other ways that it's helped me.
Speaker: We're going to talk about some facts about drinking alcohol and
Speaker: how to evaluate your own drinking habits.
Speaker: We'll discuss the societal beliefs and culture around alcohol and how we've normalized it.
Speaker: And finally, we're going to talk about what to do if you want to change your drinking habits and some tips and tricks that I can give you.
Speaker: So for this episode, I read two different books.
Speaker: One of them is called Sober on a Drunk Planet by Sean Alexander.
Speaker: And the second one is This Naked Mind by Annie Grace.
Speaker: The Naked Mind one is a book that uses liminal thinking to undo those unconscious beliefs and match them to your conscious ones.
Speaker: So if you've ever heard of the books, The Easy Way to Quit Smoking, or he has also like The Easy Way to Quit Drinking, I believe it's the same method that they use today.
Speaker: And those books, which if you do have a smoker in your family, highly, highly suggest getting that book, The Easy Way to Quit Smoking by Alan Carr.
Speaker: It's helped me.
Speaker: It's helped my mother-in-law.
Speaker: And it's just like people who have tried to quit for years and years, maybe like 20 different times, they read this book.
Speaker: Like my mother-in-law was...
Speaker: so grateful that I shared it with her.
Speaker: She had tried to quit so many times, been a smoker for decades, and after reading that book, she has never gone back to smoking.
Speaker: She's terrified to smoke, and so it's really just been a very helpful book, but This Naked Mind kind of uses, I believe, those same kind of methods, and I wanted to share a quote that she has in the book.
Speaker: that says your unconscious mind has been conditioned to think that drinking has benefits observing family friends and acquaintances enjoying responsible drinking as a kid and throughout our lives we believe drinking is relaxing makes life more enjoyable from media advertising movies societal norms friends etc this unconscious mind will undermine your conscious decision to not drink or cut down without you realizing it
Speaker: The desire and conditioning to drink will compound with actual neurological changes in your brain.
Speaker: This book works to reverse it unconscious thoughts.
Speaker: So that's just kind of a little intro into what we're going to be talking about today.
Speaker: A really good example of like how her book works, how the liminal thinking works on undoing all those beliefs that you have.
Speaker: She also mentions...
Speaker: which I think is important, is that only you can diagnose yourself as an alcoholic.
Speaker: So don't ever let someone else tell you that you're an alcoholic.
Speaker: I mean, people just have different norms and what they think is normal.
Speaker: And so someone who only drinks twice a year, if they see you drinking...
Speaker: like once a week, they might just put that label on you.
Speaker: But just remember that only you can diagnose yourself.
Speaker: There's no set of symptoms or genes that a doctor can use to diagnose you.
Speaker: You don't necessarily need to hit rock bottom, but just recognize that your sober thoughts and desires change when you've had alcohol.
Speaker: And so you need to like nip it in the bud before it starts spiraling out of control.
Speaker: one way that I kind of realized that I needed to change my relationship with alcohol.
Speaker: I wouldn't say that I was an alcoholic.
Speaker: I didn't.
Speaker: need to have it.
Speaker: I could quit without any issues.
Speaker: It wasn't ever, I mean, yeah, you want it, but it's not like you have to have it.
Speaker: But I started realizing that I would tell myself these things when I was sober, like, oh, I'm going to go out tonight and only have one or two drinks.
Speaker: And then I get out with my friends, you get caught up in the moment, and then I'm having shots and it's just, it spirals out of control.
Speaker: And I wasn't keeping my word to myself.
Speaker: So to me, that was a big indicator that I needed to change something and really just play around with sobriety.
Speaker: And I'm not totally sober now, but doing cold turkey, going months without drinking, really started changing my
Speaker: That need and desire to drink all the time.
Speaker: And we'll go into a little more of that later on.
Speaker: But that's how I personally just decided that I needed to do something was that I wasn't keeping my word to myself.
Speaker: So that's something to think about if you've ever told yourself.
Speaker: that you're not going to do something when you go out with your friends and then you end up doing it anyways.
Speaker: That might be a little trigger to yourself to think, okay, well, maybe I should like just experiment with not drinking or cutting back, that kind of thing.
Speaker: On top of not keeping my own word, I also obviously just when I was working on my health, working out a bunch, trying to eat healthier, and I was just noticing that drinking was just
Speaker: sabotaging all my workouts, my eating well.
Speaker: I mean, not only the calories that are in alcohol, but whenever I was drinking, then I would make bad food choices.
Speaker: Or the next day when I was hungover, I would make bad food choices.
Speaker: So that wasn't really productive to my health.
Speaker: And then also I started, I mean, as you get older, you start experiencing worse hangovers.
Speaker: And so then I wouldn't be as productive the next day as I wanted to.
Speaker: I had all these plans.
Speaker: I want to do this, this, and this.
Speaker: And then the next day comes, I don't feel good.
Speaker: Entire day wasted.
Speaker: So obviously not very useful, not productive in achieving my goals.
Speaker: So those were either two big reasons that I wanted to just experiment with being sober.
Speaker: So let's dive into some facts about drinking alcohol.
Speaker: So research shows that the average person endures nearly 2,000 hangovers in their lifetime.
Speaker: And if you're anything like me and my hangovers, especially as I got older, they started lasting all day, that would be 2,000 days of your life where you're doing nothing productive or nearly nothing productive or not striving.
Speaker: Maybe you're not working out that day because you don't feel good.
Speaker: So you're not getting that
Speaker: step up and edge on everybody else or on your own goals and achieving them.
Speaker: 2000 days wasted.
Speaker: The next fact, in order to process alcohol, the body must release cortisol.
Speaker: Cortisol is literally known as the stress hormone.
Speaker: Therefore, it's physically impossible for alcohol to relieve stress, which is a big belief that people have around alcohol.
Speaker: There's also a negative feedback loop.
Speaker: So you get drunk, you are hungover the next day, which means that you're demotivated, you are low on energy.
Speaker: So then you're like, well, I'll just drink again.
Speaker: And you just repeat that cycle over and over.
Speaker: Like some people get in that of a daily cycle that they're like, as soon as they start feeling better, they're like, all right, well, I'm bored.
Speaker: I might as well just drink again.
Speaker: And then the cycle just repeats.
Speaker: Also, alcohol is a poison.
Speaker: It is classified as a class 1 carcinogen.
Speaker: It is not remotely nutritious in any way.
Speaker: It actively damages the mouth, throat, esophagus, stomach, liver, and your bowels.
Speaker: A one-off drinking session is enough to damage the mucus cells in the stomach and induce inflammation and lesions.
Speaker: Drinking alcohol is also linked to cancer, and there's a study that shows if you have three or more drinks a week, a woman's risk of breast cancer increases by 15%.
Speaker: Alcohol in general just damages cells' ability to repair themselves, making them vulnerable to cancer.
Speaker: Alcohol also dulls your senses.
Speaker: It robs your body of health and vitality.
Speaker: Once you quit, you will be full of energy and feel stronger, and your immune system will also begin to flourish.
Speaker: The ways that alcohol damages the health of chronic drinkers, which chronic drinkers is defined by anyone who drinks 14 units of alcohol per week.
Speaker: and doesn't have regular alcohol-free days.
Speaker: So the ways that alcohol damages the health of these chronic drinkers is it disturbs the effective processing of nutrients, including vitamins A, B, C, D, E, and K, minerals such as magnesium, calcium, and zinc, and omega-3 acids.
Speaker: It also damages the gut, causing conditions like leaky gut, IBS, and an overgrowth of bacteria, and
Speaker: Symptoms of that include constipation, diarrhea, bloating, fatigue, anxiety, pain, and low mood.
Speaker: Alcohol sends your brain chemistry into a tailspin, which means that it will mess with things like dopamine, your serotonin, and GABA.
Speaker: Alcohol also disrupts hormones and disturbs immune, nervous, and endocrine systems, which can cause issues with adrenaline, mood, and sleep.
Speaker: And finally, alcohol-related liver disease includes alcohol fatty liver disease, alcohol hepatitis, and cirrhosis.
Speaker: So all of those things, obviously not good.
Speaker: And it kind of, you can see it touches just about a little bit of everything in your entire body and all your systems.
Speaker: So how do you evaluate your drinking habits?
Speaker: I think it's really important to start asking yourself some powerful questions.
Speaker: So like, where are you going in life?
Speaker: Are you achieving what you say you want to or that you will do?
Speaker: Um, like, why did you reach for that bottle the night before?
Speaker: Are you like masking something, trying to escape from something?
Speaker: Are your hangovers actually a sign of a good night out?
Speaker: Or are you having regrets?
Speaker: Maybe you said or did something when you were drunk the night before that now that you're sober, you wish you wouldn't have, or you said that you wouldn't do that thing.
Speaker: Just not having, again, those beliefs when you're sober lining up with what you actually did when you had some alcohol in your system.
Speaker: Another really powerful question is to ask,
Speaker: If you were offered $200,000 to never drink again in your life, would you take it?
Speaker: Maybe you would need $500,000 or a million.
Speaker: Like whatever your number is, the higher it goes.
Speaker: That answer says a lot about the power of alcohol in your life.
Speaker: Ask yourself how much time you're wasting being hungover.
Speaker: Are you actually reaching your goals, whether that be fitness, personal, work goals?
Speaker: And is the drinking actually helping you achieve those goals?
Speaker: Or is it just holding you back and stretching those goals out further?
Speaker: Or maybe even making them unreachable completely?
Speaker: Maybe you went to a horse show and you had a few drinks the night before.
Speaker: You didn't get as good of sleep because alcohol has a tendency to do that.
Speaker: It's going to disrupt your sleep patterns and you're not going to sleep as well.
Speaker: And then the next day your performance suffered because either you didn't get quality sleep or you're hungover.
Speaker: And obviously you're not going to be able to ride and perform well if you're hungover and not feeling well.
Speaker: And your mind is probably not going to be as sharp.
Speaker: But maybe also drinking makes you reckless or makes you lazy and unambitious.
Speaker: Whatever it is, you really just need to evaluate how drinking is fitting into your life and how it's helping you either
Speaker: achieve goals or not achieve them.
Speaker: And it's not our fault.
Speaker: Our entire society is built around drinking.
Speaker: So we use alcohol to celebrate both good events and bad events.
Speaker: We believe that alcohol is stress relieving, which in reality, it does the complete opposite.
Speaker: There was a study where they gave one group of mice alcohol for a month and at one group they didn't.
Speaker: And then at the end, they put the control mice and the alcohol mice in stressful situations.
Speaker: Alcohol had actually rewired the mice brains to where the ones that had alcohol were unable to handle stress and anxiety.
Speaker: We also drink to manage our emotions.
Speaker: When in reality, alcohol is terrible for emotional awareness.
Speaker: So many people are conditioned to almost treat every emotion that we have with alcohol.
Speaker: Alcohol is a numbing agent that prevents us from truly recognizing our emotions and taking healthy course of action to deal with them.
Speaker: So whenever we're quote unquote treating them, all we're doing is actually just numbing it, pushing it off, not actually addressing or handling those emotions or the situations.
Speaker: We drink to unwind.
Speaker: We drink to socialize as a social lubricant.
Speaker: But is it actually a social lubricant if you end up saying something that you regret?
Speaker: Drinking takes our guards down.
Speaker: So those guards are up so that we don't embarrass ourselves.
Speaker: We don't laugh or talk too loudly, say something that we shouldn't.
Speaker: And whenever we're drinking, we're taking all those guards down.
Speaker: And I mean, people might just think that you're obnoxious then or that you don't have control of your tongue or stuff like that.
Speaker: You're just going to do and say things that you wouldn't normally do when you're sober, when you have your clear mind and rational thinking.
Speaker: We associate drinking with being social because there's always alcohol at pretty much every event that we get to.
Speaker: We get conditioned to think that that's normal and that's how we should be having fun and unwinding and socializing, but we don't actually need it.
Speaker: If you think of...
Speaker: Kids, for an example, when you're young, most kids are shy at first, but once you just start talking to them normally and don't really address the shyness, you just act like they're a normal person and integrate them, they're going to start opening up and talking to you more.
Speaker: And that's how we are as adults, too.
Speaker: Like, it's just, we've become a little less awkward with it, and it's not as obvious.
Speaker: But that's how we're supposed to be, and it's okay.
Speaker: Like, you don't have to just walk in a room and be the beaming big personality that everyone's attracted to.
Speaker: Like, those are...
Speaker: natural qualities in some people, but being shy is also okay.
Speaker: And maybe you need to evaluate the room, evaluate the different personalities, who you're gravitated to, and that's normal.
Speaker: And we shouldn't be trying to lubricate ourselves and take those guards down.
Speaker: And we just need to be our authentic selves.
Speaker: We also oftentimes have
Speaker: see all of our friends and family drinking.
Speaker: Sometimes people think that alcoholism is genetic and while they have identified several genes that are linked to addiction, that doesn't necessarily lead to addiction.
Speaker: So perhaps alcoholism is more of a habit that once is created is hard to stop.
Speaker: So families or friend groups will start normalizing drinking and they're going to be creating an environment that will lead to unhealthy drinking habits.
Speaker: I noticed this a lot with my husband and I. My family always grew up drinking.
Speaker: I mean, I almost don't even remember if my mom drank every night because her having a glass of wine in her hand was just so normal that I almost didn't recognize it.
Speaker: And then my entire friend group growing up, I mean, I started drinking way too early and really just put a lot of emphasis on probably because I was wanting that
Speaker: social situations and I was using alcohol to take those guards down and make myself more comfortable and all those things that we just talked about but it was also just normalized starting in the home and then it got normalized in high school with my friend group and that's just something that starts becoming our environment and you think that that's normal and then when I met my husband he was like yeah I never drink during the week until I met you and then
Speaker: That just kind of, it ends up just spiraling.
Speaker: He started taking on that a little bit more until we both realized like, wait, this isn't healthy.
Speaker: It's not helping us.
Speaker: We need to make a change and cut back.
Speaker: And so we actually did that together, which...
Speaker: If you have a loved one, friends, anybody in your circle who wants to also experiment, I think that would be a great thing to do together so that you can support each other.
Speaker: Talk about what you're going through that's hard, but we'll get into that a little bit later.
Speaker: Anyways, so drinking is just normalized within our family's friend groups.
Speaker: Also on most television shows, it's often, or in movies, it's often normalized and just casually put in the scene and
Speaker: It's just our entire society just thinks that it's okay.
Speaker: And I mean, not that it's not okay to enjoy it every now and again, but it's just such a normal, like daily thing on...
Speaker: many of our lives and on TV shows and all that, that isn't exactly normal when we start to think about it and that we shouldn't be striving to be like that.
Speaker: So before we get into ways to cut back or stop drinking, I want to bring attention to this thing called cognitive dissonance.
Speaker: And this is the mental conflict that occurs when you say you're going to do something and you have this belief, but then your behaviors don't align with that.
Speaker: So our brain has a hard time making those match then because they're just, they're not aligned.
Speaker: And so your brain saying one thing, but your actions are doing something different.
Speaker: And so in order for you to really cut back and get rid of alcohol, you need to make those two align and that will make the process so much easier and long lasting.
Speaker: So if you've ever known someone who just spontaneously became sober, it seemed so easy for them.
Speaker: They just completely stopped or cut back significantly.
Speaker: And they did it kind of on a DIY approach.
Speaker: They didn't have to go to meetings or read any books or anything like that.
Speaker: That's because they were not dealing with cognitive dissonance.
Speaker: So they completely believed in dissonance.
Speaker: what they were wanting, like not drinking and why and how they completely knew that it was not helpful for them.
Speaker: It wasn't helping them socialize.
Speaker: It wasn't helping them deal with emotions.
Speaker: And that made it easy for their actions to actually line up with that.
Speaker: That is called spontaneous sobriety.
Speaker: And it is four to seven times more successful of a way to stop drinking or cutting back than if you are dealing with this cognitive dissonance.
Speaker: On the other end of the spectrum, there's those people who explain away why they still drink, even when they know that it's not actually the best for them.
Speaker: They're going to be making up excuses.
Speaker: They're going to say that red wine is good for you.
Speaker: And they're going to just pick these little pieces of information that supports their drinking, and they're going to claim that they have a handle on it.
Speaker: Or maybe they've tried to quit multiple times or for decades or even a lifetime they've been trying and it's just not working and they keep relapsing or their drinking continues on and maybe they're drinking more and more and more.
Speaker: But that's them dealing with this cognitive dissonance and they need to get those priorities and facts aligned so that their actions can follow it.
Speaker: We also need to understand alcohol and dopamine in order to change our habits.
Speaker: So alcohol floods the brain's reward circuits with dopamine.
Speaker: And the problem is that over time, alcohol will deplete your natural dopamine levels.
Speaker: And as a result, the brain will adapt to unnatural dopamine floods and they'll produce less of it.
Speaker: And so with less dopamine around, whenever you're not drinking, you're left craving more alcohol because your brain is looking for that dopamine flood to happen.
Speaker: And there will be triggers that will lead to these cravings, like being around certain people in certain environments, your day-to-day stresses.
Speaker: So for example, like 4 p.m.
Speaker: on a Friday, those people are going to start thinking about and reaching for alcohol because that's just what you do on a Friday after work.
Speaker: And a study will show that the release of dopamine can be brought on by nothing more than the expectation of consuming the substance.
Speaker: So at 4 p.m., you're expecting that that's how every Friday night goes.
Speaker: And so your body is just going to start craving that.
Speaker: And that's going to be the trigger that you will eventually have to change.
Speaker: And so not getting that dopamine can lead to a path of irritability and mental frustration.
Speaker: And so we need to be able to identify the triggers in order to implement positive actions to change them.
Speaker: So common triggers for people are either friends or family or your colleagues.
Speaker: These are going to be your drinking buddies, and they're going to be high-risk triggers.
Speaker: And groups of drinkers often share a collective lack of self-awareness and emotional maturity.
Speaker: And so you're more likely going to relapse if you spend a lot of time around those people, the people that you are used to getting drunk with and spending those times in the bars or at houses drinking.
Speaker: And there's a saying that I really like that says, the friends that mind don't matter and the friends that matter don't mind.
Speaker: And when we first started cutting back, I had to tell myself this a lot.
Speaker: And you'll have, yeah, there'll be the people that are like, oh, come on.
Speaker: it's just what we do and oh, that's great, but you won't be able to keep it up and that kind of stuff.
Speaker: And yeah, I would let it go every now and again, but if they're going to continually put you down and not have faith in you and try to pressure you into drinking, those are not people that matter.
Speaker: Like if the only thing that matters to them is that you're drinking, then they don't actually care about you and that's not a friend.
Speaker: That's not someone you need to have around.
Speaker: So say no early on and you will figure out
Speaker: what your boundaries are, and which friends and family members actually matter and that you want to keep around and should keep around.
Speaker: And sobriety, especially if you have a major issue, it needs to become above everyone, even family members.
Speaker: So if your family members are not...
Speaker: supportive of you and happy for you, unfortunately, that's a boundary that you need to draw a line in the sand.
Speaker: And until they're happy to oblige by that boundary, you don't need to be around them.
Speaker: Other triggers can be certain places like
Speaker: a pub or a club or maybe even in certain holidays or sporting fun.
Speaker: Maybe you go to football games or basketball games.
Speaker: Maybe it's after a funeral or at weddings.
Speaker: There's all these situations that people will start to place these alcohols
Speaker: thoughts in their, like triggers in their head.
Speaker: And you need to just be aware of those and either do, if you like want something different, you're going to have to do things differently.
Speaker: So you need to make a plan to either avoid those locations that you used to drink at all the time or have a different, like if you're always driving by that bar, you need to plan a different route if that's your trigger and that will help it.
Speaker: take the long way around it so that you don't have to go drive by and see who's there because then you're going to be like well let me just go and say hi and I'll have a water and then you get in there and they're like oh here's your normal beer and you're just going to have to change up your routine and habits over time other things can be triggers like smells times of the day like I said or tastes so maybe you're always used to having
Speaker: beer with your wings or pizza or something.
Speaker: Just either cutting out those foods or triggers until you have a better grasp on it.
Speaker: But yeah, just making a list of all your triggers, you're going to find that the longer you're sober, maybe the more triggers you put down, the more ways that you're going to have to change all your habits, make a plan, get through those things.
Speaker: So some ways to help you get through these difficult situations or to cut back.
Speaker: One is finding distractions.
Speaker: So find activities that you do if you're feeling the urge to drink.
Speaker: Like maybe it's four o'clock on a Friday.
Speaker: You are just going to go for like a 15 minute walk.
Speaker: see if it passes or if you're dealing with emotions you can go on that walk and the emotions are going to have to be processed and passed anyways so just do try some different action first to see if you can get that to go away on its own and actually process these things
Speaker: You can try learning new things.
Speaker: The brain will start making new neural pathways, even alter existing ones.
Speaker: So if you normally had a trigger that would lead you to drinking, if instead you tried to pick up a book or learn a new skill or habit, those are going to change those neural pathways to where you're going to start reaching for that instead of the booze.
Speaker: The great thing about sobriety is it's going to free up a bunch of time, money, energy.
Speaker: So you need to use that time and energy to try new things, learn new skills, read new books, achieve the goals that you've been wanting to, all those things.
Speaker: There's also a few AA philosophy things that I think are really helpful.
Speaker: So one is they say that you just need to be sober for today.
Speaker: So focus on the present day and not spending your time or energy fixating on the past or future.
Speaker: Like it doesn't matter how many days you've been sober as long as you're sober today.
Speaker: It doesn't matter what you do tomorrow as long as you're sober today.
Speaker: So just focusing on getting through this 24 hours.
Speaker: And a lot of times,
Speaker: those will just start stacking on themselves.
Speaker: Something else that really stands out in the sober communities is how much happiness and positive energy flies around in those groups.
Speaker: So getting sober is almost like being lit in on a little secret.
Speaker: And the feeling of consistent happiness and positivity is available to everyone and it's contagious around those groups.
Speaker: So if that's something that you want to experience and get into, there's online AA groups, there's all sorts of resources that
Speaker: that are local and I mean you don't even have to go to them half the time another analogy that AA uses is that alcohol is like an allergen so you aren't born allergic to alcohol but you become allergic over repeated use so once you develop this quote-unquote allergen it would be ridiculous to start drinking because now you're allergic to it so that's another just good analogy that I think that we can take forward with us if that helps you
Speaker: A lot of people, when they're cutting down on drinking, like say they're wanting to just cut down, not necessarily quit drinking altogether, they're going to say, oh, well, I'll just have one drink tonight.
Speaker: But oftentimes that one will lead to six.
Speaker: So, I mean, I've certainly experimented with that and it did not go well at all for me at the beginning.
Speaker: So you really just need to, I would suggest cutting it out for like 30, 60, 90 days, experiment with that.
Speaker: Then I really got to the point where I was so terrified of hangovers because I mean, my tolerance went down so much that then I would, I would be like, okay, well, I'm just going to have a two drink limit.
Speaker: So I would go out, have two drinks, be hungover the next day.
Speaker: I'm like, what?
Speaker: How is this possible?
Speaker: I used to drink like a whole bottle and be fine.
Speaker: And now I can only have two glasses of wine.
Speaker: Like that's insane to me.
Speaker: And I, after not experiencing hangovers for so long, I just felt so much guilt of like not being productive that next day and feeling horrible.
Speaker: Like, it's just not a good feeling.
Speaker: And then I would eat like crap and then I would feel guilty from that.
Speaker: And so I almost developed this like fear of drinking.
Speaker: So now I have gone from everything from, I didn't drink for, I think like six months to,
Speaker: And then I tried to dabble again.
Speaker: And then I would like drink too much, get hungover.
Speaker: So then I would quit again.
Speaker: And I went through all these different variations.
Speaker: And now I've gotten to the point where I can go out, I can sometimes have one, sometimes I even order one.
Speaker: And I'm like, this just does not taste good, not enjoyable.
Speaker: Or I like already feel a hangover coming on like the dehydration thing.
Speaker: It's just created so much like fear in me that the next day is gonna be terrible.
Speaker: And so that's worked really well for me.
Speaker: And now I can have one, but I think especially when you're starting off in the beginning, you really just need to go cold turkey.
Speaker: and see how you feel, like how productive you are, see all the benefits of just being completely alcohol-free, and that will then dictate how you can proceed from there, and obviously experiment with it.
Speaker: Now, this podcast, I should say in general, is if you have an actual drinking problem, obviously don't take any of my advice.
Speaker: You should seek professional help, go to AA meetings, read these books.
Speaker: I am just someone who have found
Speaker: a lot of benefits in my productivity and how I feel and my health.
Speaker: And so that's my personal choice.
Speaker: And I think that this podcast could be helpful for those who are also in that same boat.
Speaker: Now, the biggest obstacle a lot of people are going to handle is how to be in social situations with your friends or family, and now there's this change where you're not drinking.
Speaker: And I would just say to them, like, hey, I'm just going X amount of time.
Speaker: I'm just going 30 days or 60 days without drinking, and so I'll just have a water, just casually.
Speaker: It's honestly none of their business, and it shouldn't really affect how they feel and how they're going to spend their night.
Speaker: But I think that it often does.
Speaker: And the reason that they press you is because then they're thinking about their own drinking habits and how they know it's not good for them.
Speaker: And you're kind of shining a spotlight on that.
Speaker: And also, I mean, there are the people who go sober and then they're like holier than thou and they want to preach to everyone.
Speaker: And that's just never, ever going to change one's mind.
Speaker: So definitely just...
Speaker: keep all of it, like your reasons, none of it, unless they ask and they are curious about it and how you did it, then you just don't really need to like preach from the top of the mountain about how they should be doing it.
Speaker: Cause it's just going to come off as judgy and that's probably what they're insecure about anyways and why they're wanting you to drink because they know that they're probably being judged for their drinking or they're self-conscious about their own drinking and
Speaker: But we've also found that people will quickly stop pressuring or asking you to drink, especially the longer that you prove that you don't need the alcohol, you're still having fun without it, and it's a lasting change that is sticking, and you're still going out and being social.
Speaker: And those people might be jealous, and they're going to start asking tips, and they're going to start considering stopping themselves drinking.
Speaker: And now they're going to see it as actually possible and they can still live a full life and enjoy life without alcohol.
Speaker: And I think that just having that attitude of being a great example is going to be very magnetic and hopefully you can help change other people's lives too.
Speaker: You can also have a mindset of JOMO, so joy of missing out instead of FOMO.
Speaker: You're enjoying missing out on the hangovers and the regret and the overspending and not meeting your goals.
Speaker: So just having this mindset that
Speaker: yeah, I'm not going out tonight or I'm not staying out late.
Speaker: Like I'm not actually missing out on anything, especially the later the night goes, you know, it just gets crazier and people are just acting wild.
Speaker: Like if you're sober being around those people, you're like, this is unhinged.
Speaker: Like I need to get home to my bed and a book.
Speaker: And you can also think of your alcohol journey as progress, not perfection.
Speaker: So like I had said earlier,
Speaker: It wasn't an overnight thing.
Speaker: Like I just quit drinking.
Speaker: Everything was great.
Speaker: I did have these moments where I started to introduce my alcohol back in and I would be hungover again and I would feel that regret and failure and, um,
Speaker: Yeah, it didn't feel good, but looking back on it now, all of those things were so necessary to get me to the point I am today because I don't have that desire to drink.
Speaker: I know how horrible it feels, how I can't really do the two-drink moderation thing, that it's not a successful path for me.
Speaker: All of that had to just be progressively learned and I had to make those mistakes in order to get to the place that I am today and the relationship that I have with alcohol now.
Speaker: You can also take those relapses or failures on drinking to really reflect on what triggered you, what caused you to want to drink, what's going on in your life that led you to that.
Speaker: Are there more triggers or are there certain people or just weak spots in your sobriety journey that you can now focus on, reevaluate, and reapply some different things.
Speaker: strategies or goals on to help you with being sober the next time one of those triggers comes up.
Speaker: Another tool that you can use is having someone or a group to hold you accountable.
Speaker: So you can join a sober group.
Speaker: Maybe you join an exercise group.
Speaker: Like recently I just found this one that is called Nightclubs Suck local to me.
Speaker: And it's these sober people who on Friday nights, instead of going to some clubs, they go, it's like a run club.
Speaker: So we meet at seven o'clock on Fridays and they
Speaker: That's something different and fun and it's going to keep you accountable.
Speaker: Those people are also sober and they have the same beliefs.
Speaker: So if you can find or maybe you start your own, if you can't find one local,
Speaker: And just find those people that have the same goals and mindsets around drinking or your goals and being a high achiever.
Speaker: You can also use a therapist or your coach, a friend or family member who is also wanting to either cut back or stay sober and just commit to each other and keep each other accountable.
Speaker: But find some group or person or coach or therapist that you can have that accountability with.
Speaker: Obviously, you can also use the sneaky ways to order drinks.
Speaker: Like you go to the bathroom and tell the waitress to hold the alcohol.
Speaker: So you can like order it normal at the table as soon as the waitress leaves.
Speaker: Just say, hey, sorry, I'm actually not drinking.
Speaker: Can you just hold the alcohol on that?
Speaker: I don't want to make a big deal about it in front of the group.
Speaker: Maybe you pour your beer out and fill it with the water, like if it's in a bottle or something.
Speaker: And just hide it that way or drink the like water and clip soda kind of thing.
Speaker: You can also just tell people that you're driving and you don't want to drink or you don't have a ride home.
Speaker: You don't want to get an Uber.
Speaker: Don't leave your car, whatever it is.
Speaker: You can say that you have a meeting in the morning or maybe you're hungover from the night before.
Speaker: Just whatever you need to get the pressure off of you and have people to stop asking questions.
Speaker: Just do whatever you need to do because at the end of the day, not drinking is the most important thing.
Speaker: The final big tip I want to point out is that when you're in these drinking situations, out with groups, lots of drunk people or alcohol flowing, just start noticing like excuses that people make to drink.
Speaker: Maybe how if you're around like people all the time, how their drinking has just increased over time instead of decreasing that they're just drinking more and more or more often.
Speaker: Maybe look at the poor decisions that these people who drink a lot are making, how out of control they are once they've had alcohol.
Speaker: I mean, everyone knows those situations or the relationships that end in like screaming fights or people are crying at the end of the night.
Speaker: Like it just gets completely unhinged.
Speaker: And is that really fun?
Speaker: If you're ending the night, every night, like weekend fighting with your loved one or friends or crying on the corner, it's like alcohol is supposed to be fun.
Speaker: How did everybody end up fighting and crying?
Speaker: Like once you start noticing those things, you're just like, wow, it is much better to be sober and have a normal life.
Speaker: reaction to things and be able to see clearly and rationalize and be controlling my emotions and you're just going to be happier about that so just noticing the situations and how everything goes awry especially the more and more alcohol that gets poured down people's throats so that would be my last tip is just seeing how people start acting and
Speaker: the more and more alcohol that they have and how you have clearer eyes when you're sober seeing that and how you honestly just want to get out of there and go home.
Speaker: So I want to end by just listing the positive benefits of being sober on your health and nutrition and exercise.
Speaker: So when you quit drinking, you're going to have more energy.
Speaker: Your insulin sensitivity will be improved, which will curb cravings.
Speaker: A lot of times when people stop drinking, they start craving more sugar because sugar is a cross addiction and it's likely caused from being a big component in most alcoholic drinks.
Speaker: And that's how alcohol gets converted into sugar.
Speaker: And so that's a normal thing.
Speaker: But...
Speaker: Once you get some time under your belly, those cravings will start to curb.
Speaker: You're going to have a release of endorphins, which will improve your mood and will reduce stress.
Speaker: You'll be better able to regulate your own emotions.
Speaker: Your liver and kidney functions will improve, and they'll be able to remove more toxins from your body.
Speaker: If you have fatty liver disease, that will start...
Speaker: Getting better and you'll be able to overcome that.
Speaker: You'll have more confidence, more cognitive function, problem solving skills.
Speaker: You're going to physically feel stronger.
Speaker: You can develop new skills, push through pain thresholds.
Speaker: Physically, you can start beating PRs that you used to not be able to beat and maybe you leveled out on your fitness goals.
Speaker: But you're going to be able to start being more resilient both in your physical body and your mental.
Speaker: Your sleep will improve.
Speaker: Your risk of coronary heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, bowel cancer, breast cancer, respiratory.
Speaker: early death, osteoarthritis, depression, dementia, all of that's going to be reduced.
Speaker: You can also start to overcome any past trauma that you've had.
Speaker: As far as your nutrition goes, you're going to have more stable blood sugar levels, which will even out your moods and reduce cravings.
Speaker: You're going to have your liver will start recovering and be able to detoxify more.
Speaker: You'll have
Speaker: more effective neurotransmitter function, which will help with your mood, sleep cycle, digestion, heart rate.
Speaker: You won't have the deficiencies in micro and macronutrients anymore.
Speaker: You'll be able to absorb nutrients better.
Speaker: Overall, there is no downside to being sober.
Speaker: And you really just, I found that it's the best hack to performing better, to being more productive, achieving your goals,
Speaker: I mean, honestly, drinking is just a pit for everything that you don't want and all those like goals that you're wanting to strive for.
Speaker: It's really only going to hinder those.
Speaker: So I hope this has been helpful.
Speaker: I would love for all of you to enjoy your dry January.
Speaker: You're going to make it through it.
Speaker: We're about halfway through the month.
Speaker: See if you can go longer.
Speaker: I would love to hear your comments on how, if you have relapsed going back to drinking, how has that been?
Speaker: Have you really started to fear the hangovers like I have?
Speaker: I just think that this...
Speaker: is such a hack and it's just going to make you more likely to not skip those rides.
Speaker: You're going to be working out.
Speaker: It's going to help your performance in the show ring.
Speaker: I mean, anything that you're wanting to do with horses, huge hack.
Speaker: So stay strong.
Speaker: You got this.
Speaker: And I will see you all next time.
