Transcript
Speaker: What are you trying to say?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Let's see.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Welcome to Cliff Notes Continued, where we improvise the stories authors are too lazy to write.
Speaker: I'm Lucas Larson.
Speaker: And I am Anania George.
Speaker: Oh, that.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I think that's it.
Speaker: I think that's it.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: That's our intro.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That's our intro.
Speaker: Well, for the fact of everyone knowing what we're talking about, we're going with Quixote.
Speaker: I'm going to go Quixote.
Speaker: I don't fucking care.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: Our Don has like two split personalities.
Speaker: Welcome to episode two of Cliff Notes Continued.
Speaker: On this episode, the book is Don Quixote.
Speaker: by Miguel de Cervantes.
Speaker: I hope you enjoy and here are the cliff notes.
Speaker: Don Quixote is the story of a middle-aged man named Lucas Larson from La Mancha, Spain, who becomes obsessed with chivalrous ideals from books and sets out on adventures as a self-proclaimed knight to defend the helpless and fight the wicked.
Speaker: Accompanied by his loyal... What?
Speaker: Like, but lord, the wicked.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yeah!
Speaker: Wickedest man in all town.
Speaker: Accompanied by his loyal but pragmatic squire, Sancho Panza, he envisions a peasant woman named Dulcinia as a princess.
Speaker: Despite noble intentions, Don Quixote's actions often cause harm and chaos, and he encounters various characters and situations on his journeys.
Speaker: The story blends humor with social commentary, portraying Don Cixote's delusions and the interactions between him and the people he meets.
Speaker: The novel comprises two parts, with the second part featuring more elaborate tricks played on Don Cixote and his squire.
Speaker: Eventually, Don Cixote's ideals wane and he dies.
Speaker: That's fine.
Speaker: Symbolizing the decline of chivalry.
Speaker: The chivalry is dead and we have killed him.
Speaker: The narrative is framed as a translation of a manuscript by a fictional Moorish author offering meta commentary on storytelling and interpretation.
Speaker: Yo, there's so much we can do with this.
Speaker: Yeah, it's like one of the best books ever written, according to most places.
Speaker: I haven't read the book, which is great.
Speaker: Yeah, me neither.
Speaker: Like I need to be able to eventually read it and it's like native, like written as it is.
Speaker: But yeah.
Speaker: And they say I'm the pretentious one.
Speaker: That's only because I have a Catalan wife.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, not yet.
Speaker: You guys are just engaged for now.
Speaker: No, we're married.
Speaker: Oh, right.
Speaker: You are married.
Speaker: Fuck.
Speaker: That's the notion.
Speaker: I've known you for so long that the notion of, oh, that's right.
Speaker: Lucas is married.
Speaker: Does not even compute.
Speaker: It doesn't even compute in my head.
Speaker: But yeah.
Speaker: And then you asked that DVD on the sequel or do we want to go off that or do our own thing?
Speaker: You tell me, because I think what ChatGVD produced was so interesting.
Speaker: It'd be fun to fuck with it.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Let's see.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Set in a world where technology and magic coexist, this is what Chad GPT said.
Speaker: Write a sequel to Don Quixote that follows the adventures of modern-day descendants of Don Quixote, who, inspired by their ancestors' legacy, embarks on a quest to protect a virtual realm from the malicious AI that threatens humans.
Speaker: the boundary between reality and the digital world.
Speaker: As they navigate this new landscape, they are joined by an AI companion with the personality of Sancho Paza, creating a unique dynamic between the two as they confront challenges that blend the boundaries of both the physical and virtual realms.
Speaker: Can I make a very niche reference?
Speaker: That's all this podcast is.
Speaker: This sounds like to me a Don Quixote version of Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd century.
Speaker: That sounded like Don Quixote meets Tron and Wreck-It Ralph.
Speaker: Oh, that too, that too.
Speaker: But Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd century is even more obscure.
Speaker: Yeah, that's not with Robert Downey Jr.,
Speaker: No, it's, you know, the guy in Monk who played the inspector?
Speaker: Not like the chief officer, but his lackey.
Speaker: That dude voices Sherlock Holmes.
Speaker: Okay, so it's not even with Cumberbatch and it's like animated.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: But it's all, but like Watson is this AI cyborg hybrid.
Speaker: Yeah, no, AI cyborg hybrid.
Speaker: And Sherlock Holmes is like Sherlock Holmes that was cryogenically frozen.
Speaker: Okay, and what did you put into chat?
Speaker: You just said, what would a sequel be?
Speaker: And this is what it called you?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: It could have said anything.
Speaker: It could have talked about chivalry.
Speaker: It could have talked about storytelling.
Speaker: It could have talked about interpretation.
Speaker: It could have talked about ambition.
Speaker: But it said, fuck it.
Speaker: Don Quixote is now a modern-day descendant of Don Quixote.
Speaker: And they're doing an AI battle.
Speaker: I don't like, honestly, man, if the, if the AI uprising is real, we've just started it.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And scene.
Speaker: Let's go with this, Andy.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So hear me out.
Speaker: Since the original Don Quixote was written from the perspective of a person trying to translate a manuscript.
Speaker: It was.
Speaker: Yeah, that's what the spark note said.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Hear me out.
Speaker: The new version, our version, starts with a YouTube React channel.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Talking about...
Speaker: Reacting to the vlogs of the new Don Quixote.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Of course, you just be like meta on top of meta.
Speaker: Well, I mean, that's how the original narrative started.
Speaker: So I thought, fuck it, let's pay homage, you know?
Speaker: Okay, okay.
Speaker: So we start with our main character, Ralph.
Speaker: Ralph is walking.
Speaker: The YouTube videos and on one part of the YouTube video, like in the corner of the YouTube video.
Speaker: So, or like, yeah.
Speaker: So in the corner of the YouTube video is Don Jr. It's manuscript.
Speaker: And Ralph is just reacting to Don Jr.'s manuscript.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay, okay.
Speaker: It's in the future, right?
Speaker: Magic and technology are one.
Speaker: So the manuscript opens and it projects like a holographic image of Don Jr. riding a hoverboard.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And he's riding a hoverboard and he still has one of those like old school like night sticks for like jousting, a jousting stick.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And he's like screaming into the void while he like attacks.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: On the other side, on the opposite frame, we now see another guy...
Speaker: This guy's like big brutish.
Speaker: I'm picturing like Biff from Back to the Future, right?
Speaker: So Biff Jr.?
Speaker: Biff Jr. With another Jaston stick.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: On another hoverboard.
Speaker: But his Jaston stick is not like old fashioned like Don Jr.'s.
Speaker: His Jaston stick is made out of like aluminium.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: It's very clear he picked it up off the street.
Speaker: No, I think it's made out of like, what's the Captain America metal?
Speaker: Oh, vibranium?
Speaker: Yeah, vibranium versus like a vibranium jousting stick versus a literal stick.
Speaker: Okay, yeah.
Speaker: Okay, okay.
Speaker: I'm game.
Speaker: I see.
Speaker: I see where you're going with this.
Speaker: I see where you're going with this.
Speaker: Yeah, and like they're both where like, they're both like, on hoverboards and just have like, futuristic armor, which is armor that like, you can see like digitally, but like doesn't weigh anything.
Speaker: Okay, so they're both running at each other on their hoverboards.
Speaker: They're both going, ah!
Speaker: They meet sticks in the middle.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: The sticks touch each other.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Just the tips.
Speaker: Just the tips.
Speaker: But then the vibranium stick goes further and snaps Don Jr.'s jousting stick in twain.
Speaker: And this is where we cut to Ralph reacting to this.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And then Ralph is like Ralph just starts crying and like remembers the time where like his tips touched him.
Speaker: Wait, what kind of... Explain.
Speaker: Ralph... Yeah, Ralph is crying from trauma when he was diffusing a bomb.
Speaker: And the tips of the wires touched.
Speaker: And...
Speaker: The bomb started to like fizzle.
Speaker: So he thought he was going to die, but that it like didn't explode.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And in his sobbing, in his sobbing, Ralph goes, see, what up, fam?
Speaker: Welcome back to the channel.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Welcome to Ralph Reacts.
Speaker: I'm Ralph.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Now, if you know anything about your boy's story, you realize that I used to defuse bombs for a living.
Speaker: And this moment here in Don Jr.'s epic really, really touched the heartstrings.
Speaker: Because you see, just like the bomb wires defusing and taking away that gave me PTSD, this joust battle with Don Jr.'s stick was...
Speaker: is really a commentary on his masculinity and how its toxicity and delusion doesn't really match up with the reality of our existence.
Speaker: Yeah, and how it doesn't matter who has the longer stick or the bigger stick.
Speaker: It matters whose stick is made out of vibranium.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I love the character.
Speaker: I love this character of Ralph.
Speaker: It feels like he's so close to always providing something like a substantial, you know, like a beautiful, substantial insight.
Speaker: But then right at the last second, he's like, but no.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Ralph is like ridiculously good looking so that his YouTube channel gets hella views.
Speaker: He does all of his react videos shirtless.
Speaker: Lucas, is this you?
Speaker: Are you Ralph?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Ralph Austin has a protein cake in all of his react videos.
Speaker: So this is you.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Now it's easier to write.
Speaker: We cut back to the story of Don Jr. He's now laying on the ground.
Speaker: with his jousting stick in two as the AI digital companion of Sancho Banza walks over and goes, it's okay, Donnie boy, you'll get him next time.
Speaker: And Sancho is just like Cortana.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, Sancho's like Cortana.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, so it just follows Don Jr. everywhere.
Speaker: And then, like,
Speaker: Sancho's like, you'll get him next time.
Speaker: And then Sancho's like, you know, I could have picked.
Speaker: I could have picked Eddie of the other Don Juniors.
Speaker: But you know why I picked you.
Speaker: Because you had something that they didn't have.
Speaker: You had coincidence.
Speaker: And then Don Jr. looks at Sancho's AI and goes, I don't understand.
Speaker: When they fished me out of the cloning vats, you chose me because of coincidence?
Speaker: Does that mean that I'm not good at jousting, but I'm just ridiculously lucky?
Speaker: You're not good at either or at being lucky.
Speaker: Don Jr., I just got bored and took the next one.
Speaker: Don Jr. doesn't listen to this as he just keeps walking.
Speaker: And he's just whistling.
Speaker: And he's like, I'm so lucky.
Speaker: I'm the luckiest person ever.
Speaker: And now he sees in front of him a playground.
Speaker: And it's a playground in the future, right?
Speaker: So there are like stones, stepping stones.
Speaker: And there's a big sign that says,
Speaker: Test your luck.
Speaker: If you're lucky, you'll be alive.
Speaker: If you're unlucky, you'll fall into a bottomless pit.
Speaker: That has lava at the bottom.
Speaker: Yeah, at the bottom.
Speaker: The bottomless pit.
Speaker: It's like, don't touch the lava, but in the future, so it's actually lava.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, because everyone carries lava repellent around, right?
Speaker: This is a playground, after all.
Speaker: It's like high risk, low reward.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, we've gotten pretty bad boo-boos playing on the playground.
Speaker: It's for population control.
Speaker: And then Don Jr. just like... Don Jr. looks at the rocks, looks at the bottomless pit of lava, and tells Sancho, watch this.
Speaker: And then we cut back to Ralph.
Speaker: He pauses and he starts bawling again.
Speaker: He starts crying again.
Speaker: And he goes, man, when I was the age that Don Jr. is in this story right here, in this video, I had a choice too.
Speaker: It was either go into the bomb squad and serve my country
Speaker: Or go into a bottomless pit for a lava.
Speaker: And it was a tough call.
Speaker: Like, every day, I regret not picking the bottomless pit of lava.
Speaker: Then he just flexes into the video.
Speaker: By the way, this video is sponsored by...
Speaker: Yeah, sponsored by MassGainer10,000 in the bottomless pit of lava.
Speaker: We're cheering for the lava here.
Speaker: Let's cut back to Don Jr. Okay, cutting back to Don Jr. He closes his eyes and he starts taking a step.
Speaker: And he takes another step.
Speaker: And he takes another step.
Speaker: And he takes another step.
Speaker: And then he opens his eyes.
Speaker: He's on the other end.
Speaker: He didn't manage to fall into the bottomless pit even once.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And Sancho pops up on his shoulder and just like whispers in his ear, you lucky son of a bitch.
Speaker: And Don looks over at Sancho and goes, see, I fucking told you so.
Speaker: It's coincidence.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He takes a step and suddenly a rake that was just lying around smacks right into his face.
Speaker: Like Sideshow Bob style?
Speaker: Yeah, like Sideshow Bob style.
Speaker: And then cut to Ralph laughing about the rake, but Ralph just has like the weirdest laugh ever.
Speaker: Do his laugh.
Speaker: What's his laugh sound like?
Speaker: It's like a combination of my laugh and your laugh combined.
Speaker: Wait, do it.
Speaker: Do it.
Speaker: No, you got to laugh at the same time, too.
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: I want to see your impression of it.
Speaker: Do it.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Be like, hey, laugh.
Speaker: Like, it's real high, then real squeaky, then like just breathing noises.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: I just just admitted of Ralph laughing.
Speaker: For me, it's you going.
Speaker: For me, it's you going.
Speaker: Then Ralph's video just... Ralph is then like, join us next week for my next react video.
Speaker: And it fades to darkness with him just laughing and going...
Speaker: And we jump to the next video and he's watching Don Quixote Jr.'s next adventure.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, I like that.
Speaker: Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker: And, okay, so now he needs to, okay, now Don is walking around in the market.
Speaker: And there's like fog, just like ominous fog and like weird flashing lights while he walks around the market and things like jump out from the fog at him.
Speaker: Okay, so this first thing that jumps out, what does this thing look like?
Speaker: Uh, looks like a Jack in the box and like, it's like a Jack in the box robot.
Speaker: So it's like half Jack in the box and half inspector gadget.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So like today's modern Jack in boxes just have like one thing that pops out, but this thing is like a million things out of the box and he's trying to sell like all the things out of the box.
Speaker: And the sound that this Jack in the Box makes is the... And Hunt Jr. is like, ooh, what did Ovidous laugh?
Speaker: Ralph pauses the video and goes...
Speaker: Hi, welcome back to the channel.
Speaker: I was actually, I actually voiced that character.
Speaker: Yeah, because Ralph is like in the super future and Don Jr. is in like,
Speaker: the past of Ralph, but like way ahead of our time.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And Ralph's like, yeah, after the bomb squad, I became a voice actor.
Speaker: They hired me for my laugh.
Speaker: Ralph's just Forrest Gumping over here.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Ralph is very deep.
Speaker: He's deeper than he comes off while he drinks a protein shake.
Speaker: I don't think Ralph comes off as deep at all.
Speaker: He's much deeper than not deep at all.
Speaker: The protein shake is done.
Speaker: We just see him chug the protein shake.
Speaker: Uncut it.
Speaker: Uncut is just going glug, glug, glug.
Speaker: And it's a large protein shake.
Speaker: Yeah, it's in a gallon milk container because Ralph has to establish his dominance.
Speaker: And yeah, so drinking the protein shake and goes back to Don Jr. Don Jr. whips out a sword from his sheath, but it's a wooden sword.
Speaker: Because all of his weapons are wood.
Speaker: Yeah, but it has strange runes on it that just glow.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: They glow like a bright white, which helps cut through the fog of the Jack in the Box.
Speaker: And the Jack in the Box is like, hi.
Speaker: He's laughing and he's like, hoo-hoo.
Speaker: And then he's like, I'm Jimmy.
Speaker: Oh, hello, Jimmy.
Speaker: I'm Don Jr. He puts the sword back in and extends his hand out.
Speaker: Jimmy has like a million things coming out of his box and one of those is a hand, but the hand has like one of those electrical hands.
Speaker: So he like shakes Don Jr.'s hand, but there's like electric shock now of Don Jr. You know the cartoon effect where like the hair stand up and we see the whole skeleton inside the character?
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: We see that.
Speaker: And Sancho's like, Sancho pops up on Don Jr.'s right shoulder and whispers into his ear, fuck this Jimmy dude.
Speaker: And then Don takes out his sword again and goes, hey, don't do that.
Speaker: And then he, like, Don Jr. whispers to Sancho, fuck.
Speaker: It's coincidence that we met Jimmy.
Speaker: And he's brandishing the sword and Jimmy is just laughing again.
Speaker: And then Jimmy goes, okay, I promise I won't do that again.
Speaker: I promise.
Speaker: And Dom puts the sword back in.
Speaker: And then he extends another arm out and goes, for real this time.
Speaker: Hi, I'm Jimmy.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And we cut to Ralph, Ralph's feed.
Speaker: And Ralph is just like half asleep.
Speaker: He's like, when's the action going to happen?
Speaker: I like how, but there's protein shake all over him.
Speaker: So there are drips of his protein shake.
Speaker: Yeah, dripping down his shirtless torso.
Speaker: Yeah, dripping down his shirtless torso.
Speaker: He's just like there.
Speaker: He's like the liver king, but just full of protein shake on him.
Speaker: Yeah, and if you read the comments, it's like comments from like, But Lord 2000.
Speaker: But Lord 2000 is just like, yum protein shake.
Speaker: Okay, and so we go back to Don Quixote and Jimmy, and Jimmy goes...
Speaker: You have now reached... And the story is a lot further now because our boy Ralph has been asleep for a while.
Speaker: Jimmy is hanging off a cliff with one of his hands.
Speaker: And he's about to fall into lava.
Speaker: And Don Quixote is right on top of Jimmy.
Speaker: Like...
Speaker: oh, I'm going to save you, Jimmy.
Speaker: And Jimmy's like, please, please save me.
Speaker: Otherwise, I'll fall into the bottomless pit of lava.
Speaker: And Don Jr. is like, join the Quixote side.
Speaker: Shake my hand.
Speaker: Join the Qiyote side.
Speaker: We believe in chivalry and chivalry and tapas.
Speaker: And then Don Jr. extends one of his arms out, holds onto the wire with the glove that Jimmy has on one of his mechanical hands, and then he's trying to pull him up.
Speaker: He's sort of successful.
Speaker: He pulls him up by the entire arm, and he brings him down at the cliff.
Speaker: He saves his life.
Speaker: And then Jimmy takes his hand over his head,
Speaker: wipes the sweat off his brow and goes, thank you, Don Jr. I couldn't have survived without you.
Speaker: And then Don Jr. is like,
Speaker: Welcome to the Quixote side.
Speaker: You have to go crazy and imagine everyone is a princess.
Speaker: And we cut back to Ralph, and he's drinking his second protein shake.
Speaker: And while he's drinking it, and his throat's mouth is full of protein shake, he goes...
Speaker: Now listen, everybody.
Speaker: This is what we call chivalry in motion.
Speaker: Join us next week for more Don Quixote adventures.
Speaker: And then as soon as he says that, we see Don Quixote shake Jimmy's hand again, and he gets buzzed.
Speaker: And it just, yeah.
Speaker: Then that's the end of Ralph's video, and we've now cut to week three.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And then we've got Don Jr. And he's sitting on an ominous throne where Sancho is the AI on his right shoulder.
Speaker: And to his left is his princess wife, Dulcina.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: And he's talking out to just a bunch of AR robots and the Jack in the Box Jimmy.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: We are the Quixote clan and we plan on taking over this planet and converting everyone to chivalry.
Speaker: I really want to turn Don Quixote now into a fucking incel.
Speaker: Because he was too chivalrous, but did get any responses that he wanted from females?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But he has a wife.
Speaker: He has a wife of Dulcina.
Speaker: Imaginary.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Dulcina's... Only he can see Dulcina, no one else.
Speaker: Okay, so he's just sitting next to an empty chair.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: everybody in this room is like wearing big giant glasses it's essentially the clan of incels and one of them goes Senor Cushote Senor Cushote how do I make women respect me
Speaker: And Don Jr. goes, let me ask Delsina.
Speaker: And then he turns to the blank chair and is like, there's no answer.
Speaker: And right in the back of the room, there's a newspaper reporter.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Who's like, oh, what a genius.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And the newspaper reporter has one of those old-timey brimmed hats and is writing on physical paper, even though it is the future and all of the people are AI robots plus Jimmy the Jacket box gadget thing.
Speaker: He's ripped right out of the 1920s.
Speaker: This is like... I've noticed this is like Star Wars where there's no female characters in the story.
Speaker: Well, no, there is one.
Speaker: Yeah, Dulcina.
Speaker: Dulcina.
Speaker: Who's a figment of Gio-Hote's imagination.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Okay, okay.
Speaker: Okay, I think I know where to take this.
Speaker: I think I know where to take this, right?
Speaker: Okay, so...
Speaker: So the newspaper writer is going, oh, what an eccentric genius.
Speaker: Kishoti the Great, right?
Speaker: And then another person asks, I went on a date with someone and they didn't really kiss me after I paid for dinner.
Speaker: Oh, great, Kishoti, what am I supposed to do?
Speaker: And we just cut to Ralph.
Speaker: And Ralph's like, bro, just because you pay for dinner doesn't mean you get anything.
Speaker: You couldn't expect anything.
Speaker: This is so messed up.
Speaker: And then Ralph just like,
Speaker: flexes into the camera and we cut back to quixote oh man i love this i love i love i fucking love ralph um uh and then kisharti looks over at the empty chair goes hmm hmm okay well you see she's just a thought
Speaker: He's like, was the person on your dinner date real?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yes, yes, I think she was real.
Speaker: He puts his finger out and goes, No, she was not.
Speaker: We cut to Ralph and Ralph's like, doesn't matter if he's real or not, bro.
Speaker: Can't expect anything.
Speaker: Low expectations, guys.
Speaker: You're not entitled to anything.
Speaker: Yeah, and then go back to Cajote.
Speaker: Cajote is like, nothing's real.
Speaker: My great-great-grandfather went crazy trying to be shivery for things that weren't real.
Speaker: He fought windmills that weren't real.
Speaker: He fought dragons that weren't real.
Speaker: And all he got was a book written about him.
Speaker: But I have a YouTube series.
Speaker: So I am greater.
Speaker: The reporter in the back scribbles down.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yes, he is.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: What is YouTube?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Another member of the clan goes, but Don, what if?
Speaker: And then he pulls out his hair, revealing beautiful blonde long hair, and goes, one of your members was secretly a woman.
Speaker: And Kote goes, you're not real.
Speaker: Next.
Speaker: And so.
Speaker: Well, what if he just goes, whoa, who said that?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Did someone say something?
Speaker: And we cut to Ralph and Ralph is just like really bad and he's like banging his fist on like a table while like protein shake like comes out of a gallon dug.
Speaker: We come back to Quixote and one of his followers raises his hand and the followers like, hey, hey, hey, Quixote, I got all these muscles to attract the women's.
Speaker: And Quixote's like, muscles might make it real.
Speaker: And then it cuts to Ralph.
Speaker: Ralph looks straight into the camera, pauses the show, looks directly into the camera and goes, now listen here.
Speaker: He zooms the camera into him, really dramatically stares right into the audience and goes, no one else in this world has muscles.
Speaker: And he's like, muscles don't make the man and don't entitle anything.
Speaker: And then Ralph starts to put his shirt back on.
Speaker: From henceforth.
Speaker: Oh, wait, no, no, no.
Speaker: He puts his shirt back on and goes, you can find the shirt at the merch store.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It says, and the shirt just says, muscles don't entitle you to anything.
Speaker: And then the text pops up, ralph.store slash muscle shirt.
Speaker: And that's where the video ends.
Speaker: And we go to the fourth and final week of Quixote's adventures.
Speaker: And Ralph reacts.
Speaker: And Ralph pops up.
Speaker: Eddie's wearing the muscles don't entitle you to anything shirt.
Speaker: And instead of a protein shake, he's now sipping green tea.
Speaker: He has like a little man bun now.
Speaker: you know a little handlebar mustache and he's and we're like the back of like the background of his videos used to be like his garage gym but like not a garage because it's the future so like a laboratory gym it's now just like a tea set in the background
Speaker: Yeah, and there's like Japanese screens everywhere behind him.
Speaker: And he looks over into the camera and goes, welcome back to the fourth and final installment of the Adventures of Don Jr. And this is Ralph Reacts.
Speaker: I'm Ralph.
Speaker: This video is sponsored by green tea.
Speaker: Let's begin.
Speaker: And the bottomless pit of lava.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Our huge friends at the bottomless pit of lava have now come out with a new green tea.
Speaker: Something to sip on while you fall to your untimely demise.
Speaker: And then we cut to Quixote Jr. and Quixote Jr.
Speaker: is tattered and old because time is different in the future.
Speaker: He's tattered and old.
Speaker: And Sancho's still on his right shoulder.
Speaker: Also tattered and old.
Speaker: also tattered and old.
Speaker: And we now see a holographic projection of Dulcina on his left shoulder.
Speaker: Ooh, so now she's real.
Speaker: In holograph form.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Quixote Jr. is wandering through the desert while the great metropolis is behind him.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: As he's tattered and old and walking through this desert, he goes, water, water.
Speaker: And Sancho says, there is no coincidence.
Speaker: I should have chose another Quixote Jr. But Dorsina is like...
Speaker: water okay and then and then don keeps walking he's like falling down with every step that he's taking um almost about to like drop dead to his knees um
Speaker: But, and he actually does.
Speaker: His mouth gets filled with sand as he's blowing out in a desperate attempt to stay alive.
Speaker: And while he's blowing out the sand, Sancho...
Speaker: Sancho leaves his right shoulder and we cut to Ralph.
Speaker: Ralph is bawling his eyes out, man.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Ralph's like, you guys have heard about me being a bomb diffuser and you've heard about me being a voice actor, but it all started with my father leaving me.
Speaker: Ralph's going through it, man.
Speaker: Ralph's going through it.
Speaker: Ralph's very deep.
Speaker: Ralph's deeper than you can imagine.
Speaker: And then we see Don Quixote look over at Sancho and go, no, don't leave me.
Speaker: You've been my only friend for all these years.
Speaker: And Sancho goes, I should have picked different.
Speaker: It was always about the end goal and not dying in the desert.
Speaker: I'm going back to the metropolis.
Speaker: I will rebuild.
Speaker: Wait, what was the end goal?
Speaker: You had to find Chivory, but you're doomed because you're a Quixote.
Speaker: Ooh.
Speaker: And then Sancho is just walking away as we see Don Quixote in the back wriggling and fucking trying to stand up, but he can't.
Speaker: And he's just dead.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Then we cut to...
Speaker: Are you ready?
Speaker: Are you ready for this?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: We cut to lights turning on and we see cloning bats all spewed across the room as a holographic Sancho walks into the room, goes, okay, time to start again.
Speaker: As he looks over at one of the cloning vats and it's Ralph.
Speaker: Do the outro, Andy.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: This is the outro and I don't know what to say right now, but this is the outro.
Speaker: Please subscribe.
Speaker: Hell yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Remember, we're bringing you the stories that the authors don't want you to know.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I was trying to make it something memorable for the hour.
Speaker: I don't fucking know, dude.
Speaker: Now you're overthinking it.
Speaker: You're just gonna be like, outro time.
Speaker: Thank you for listening to the stories authors are too lazy to write.
Speaker: That was... The outro?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The...
Speaker: Wait, which part of this is the outro?
Speaker: I don't understand.
Speaker: I don't understand.
Speaker: Is this the outro?
Speaker: Is this the ending?
Speaker: Everything is an ending ending.
Speaker: All beginnings are endings.
Speaker: We could just play the intro for the outro.
Speaker: Welcome to the podcast.
Speaker: Congratulations, you're now on our next episode.
Speaker: We just don't have an outro.
Speaker: Say nice things about us online.
Speaker: And if you don't want to say nice things about us online, then give it to your friends so at least we can boost that engagement.
Speaker: Yeah, share, do things.
Speaker: Hell yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Sweet.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I think we're good for the... Oh my God.
Speaker: Thank you for listening to episode two of Cliff Notes Continued.
Speaker: We'll be back on Tuesday, January 2nd with a whole new book and a whole new story.
