Transcript
Speaker: What are you trying to say?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Let's see.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Welcome to Cliff Notes Continued, where we improvise the stories authors are too lazy to write.
Speaker: I'm Lucas Larson.
Speaker: And I am Anania George.
Speaker: Oh, that.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I think that's it.
Speaker: I think that's it.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: That's our intro.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That's our intro.
Speaker: I adjusted my sound waves while we were playing the intro.
Speaker: Is it fine now?
Speaker: Yeah, now that's good sound waves.
Speaker: Okay, great.
Speaker: So what's the book, Adania?
Speaker: I'm going to send you a link.
Speaker: And you have to scroll further down.
Speaker: But I've been teasing it this whole time.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: For everyone who can see the site gag on the name of the video.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Wait, no, that's not.
Speaker: No, no, no, no.
Speaker: That's not even.
Speaker: No, no, no.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I've been teasing it over the past couple episodes is what I meant.
Speaker: Okay, for all the Easter eggs, apparently we're doing 50 Shades of Grey.
Speaker: Yeah, let's fucking go.
Speaker: Time for our first M-rated podcast.
Speaker: Well, you don't know.
Speaker: You don't know.
Speaker: You don't know.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: No idea.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So where are we starting for this summary?
Speaker: We're starting under plot summary of Fifty Shades of Grey.
Speaker: And it says spoiler alert.
Speaker: This is not even a cliff notes.
Speaker: That's what I think is so funny.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, we're very strict with our terminology.
Speaker: Get us started.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: The story of Fifty Shades of Grey begins with Anastasia Steele, a young final year English student at Washington State University.
Speaker: Anna agrees to interview the CEO of Grey Enterprises for her friend, Kate, comes down with the flu.
Speaker: Oh, after her friend, Kate comes down with the flu.
Speaker: She travels to Seattle to meet the CEO.
Speaker: On reaching Gray Enterprises, she becomes agitated because of the intimidating look of the gigantic company.
Speaker: After meeting the secretary of the CEO, she gets cleared to enter his office.
Speaker: However, before she enters, she trips and falls, feeling like her world will crumble.
Speaker: A hand reaches out to help her, and on raising her head, she is awed by the strikingly handsome CEO, Christian Gray.
Speaker: After introducing herself, Anna begins to ask the Christian, that's why it says ask the Christian the questions written by Kate.
Speaker: However, she diverts and starts asking Christian questions not written by Kate.
Speaker: Intrigued by her genuine curiosity, he offers her an internship position, which she declines.
Speaker: Hell yeah.
Speaker: Anna returns home with all the answers to Kate's questions.
Speaker: And though she tries to forget about Christian, she finds herself obsessively thinking about him.
Speaker: She resumes work at Clayton's hardware store, and while working, she gets shocked to see Christian right in the store.
Speaker: She asks him what he is doing in Washington, and he replies that he is on business.
Speaker: While talking to him, Paul Clayton, Anna's employer's son, walks in on them.
Speaker: She notices that Christian's demeanor rapidly changes till Paul leaves.
Speaker: After attending to him, he gives her his phone number.
Speaker: Before handing her his number, she tells him that Kate needs a picture of him.
Speaker: He agrees to a photo shoot, and she employs the help of her friend, Josie.
Speaker: After the photo shoot, Christian invites Anna on a date.
Speaker: On the date, he asks her if she was together with Josie or Paul, and she replies no.
Speaker: Abruptly, he tells her he is not the right person for her, and after saving her from an accident, she leaves him feeling devastated.
Speaker: Okay, I've heard about how this book is based on Twilight.
Speaker: Now I see that it's even borrowing story beats from Twilight.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I'm glad you have Twilight knowledge.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Hey, man, I have an older sister.
Speaker: You got to learn this stuff as you grow up, you know?
Speaker: After getting her first heartbreak, Anna gets invited to a party.
Speaker: And for the first time, she gets drunk.
Speaker: She dials Christian's number and abruptly cuts the call before telling him where she is.
Speaker: Josie, Hosea, finds her outside and tries to kiss her.
Speaker: She refuses, and before anything escalates, Christian appears from nowhere.
Speaker: He tells her of his hotel in Washington, and though she tries to maintain herself, she faints and wakes up in Christian's bed.
Speaker: He calms her by telling her nothing happened between them.
Speaker: On returning home, Anna meets Kate with Elliot, Christian's brother.
Speaker: She realizes Kate has fallen for Elliot.
Speaker: Christian asks Anna on another date, and after the date, he takes her to his house on a helicopter.
Speaker: He lets her in on his secret sexual BDSM lifestyle and tells her about BDSM.
Speaker: about being a submissive and the rules she will have to read to become one.
Speaker: After showing her his red playroom, she tells him that she has never had sex before.
Speaker: Ignoring the contracted deal, he has sex with her.
Speaker: The next day, Anna meets Christian's adopted mother, Grace, for the first time.
Speaker: I really... This episode's either going to be a double-edged sword...
Speaker: Or it's going to be the best thing we've ever come up with so far.
Speaker: Christian gets Anna a new computer, and they begin exchanging emails.
Speaker: Anna realizes that she is falling for Christian.
Speaker: With her realization comes sadness.
Speaker: Jokingly, she tells him goodbye, but he drives to her house, surprising her.
Speaker: After reading about BDSM dominance, she decides to ghost him.
Speaker: On her graduation, Christian makes a speech as he gets invited as a guest by Anna's school.
Speaker: She introduces him to her stepfather, Ray.
Speaker: Christian buys her a new car as a graduation present, and for the first time, he spanks her 18 times during sex.
Speaker: After the sex, he leaves, and she starts crying because she has realized that she has fallen for a man who is not interested in love.
Speaker: Christian returns to her apartment after...
Speaker: She lets him in on her feelings.
Speaker: She tells him about how bad she feels when he never reciprocates any emotion to her and he spends the night at her house.
Speaker: I love how you're getting the right paragraphs.
Speaker: The next day, Christian gets Anna a new phone and meets Dr. Green, who prescribes contraceptives for her.
Speaker: After the prescription, she has sex with Christian in the red room.
Speaker: He invites her to a family dinner.
Speaker: And while at the dinner, she reveals her plans to visit the mother, Carla, in Georgia.
Speaker: While boarding the flight, Anna realizes that Christian made her ticket to first class.
Speaker: In Georgia, he surprises her with a visit.
Speaker: She discovers that he went out with Mrs. Elena Robinson.
Speaker: Who's Mrs. Elena Robinson?
Speaker: mistress or other mistress.
Speaker: Gray gets around.
Speaker: Anna tells her mom that she feels out of place because she knows she has fallen in love with Christian.
Speaker: On returning to Washington, Anna gets a job at Seattle Independent Publishing.
Speaker: On breaking the news to Christian, they have sex and curious to know every... Oh, wait, my bad.
Speaker: That's your paragraph.
Speaker: Ha ha ha.
Speaker: That's why I was talking about sex.
Speaker: Yeah, that's right.
Speaker: That's how I do.
Speaker: That's how I do.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And curious to know everything about how extreme DSM gets.
Speaker: Hannah asks him to show her the furthest they will go.
Speaker: He whips her with a belt while telling her to count.
Speaker: And after the experience, she realizes she is not the one for Christian.
Speaker: She leaves him and returns to live with Kate.
Speaker: Okay, cool.
Speaker: Do you want to, so this is like a thing for this particular website that we're on, bookanalysis.com, and they have a whole bunch of FAQs.
Speaker: Do you want to go through the FAQs?
Speaker: No, absolutely not.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I want to go through the, I just want to go to the last one.
Speaker: Okay, okay.
Speaker: Go with the last one.
Speaker: Which is like, what happened to Bob Adams in Fifty Shades of Grey?
Speaker: I have no idea who Bob Adams is.
Speaker: Bob Adams got injured after an accident.
Speaker: This made him and Carla forfeit Anna's graduation ceremony.
Speaker: However, Ray, Anna's first stepfather, attended her graduation and met Christian.
Speaker: Got it.
Speaker: Thank God we know about what happened to Bob Adams.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He's going to be very crucial.
Speaker: So you're booking on you.
Speaker: So I guess I'll start.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Chapter one, searching for safety.
Speaker: Anna is inside a wood cabin and she's making her morning coffee.
Speaker: She's nervous and looking out the window.
Speaker: The only people that know where Anna are is her parents, Carla and Ray.
Speaker: She had to leave Kate in Washington because Kate is in love with Elliot.
Speaker: And Elliot cannot be trusted being related to Christian.
Speaker: Anna is hiding from Christian, but Christian has vast resources as the CEO of Grey Industries to track down what he wants and what Christian wants is Anna.
Speaker: Is Anna in a remote location?
Speaker: Is she up in the mountains or something?
Speaker: Yeah, a remote cabin in the woods, and she just finished making her morning coffee and is looking out the windows.
Speaker: As she's looking out the window, she sees a USPS truck go poop.
Speaker: put, put, put, stop right in front of her door as one person walks out of it.
Speaker: We don't see the identity of this person, but they open up the mailbox, stuff a letter in there, close the mailbox, get back into the car, and go put, put, put, leaving, driving off.
Speaker: Anna tentatively opens the door,
Speaker: gets the package and brings it inside.
Speaker: She places the package next to her coffee and contemplates whether she should open or not.
Speaker: She was not expecting a package today.
Speaker: The from address, the label that says where it's from, is blank.
Speaker: The only thing it says is to, and it's Anna's current address.
Speaker: What's her current address, Lucas?
Speaker: uh, 69 BDSM street in the woods.
Speaker: Cool.
Speaker: Uh, in the woods, Washington, in the woods, Washington.
Speaker: Uh, Anna's still curious on whether or not she should open the package.
Speaker: Uh,
Speaker: starts pacing around her house.
Speaker: While Anne is pacing, her loyal dog comes up to her and it's a German Shepherd and
Speaker: It's name is Rose and Rose nudges Anna's hand and then Rose goes over to the package, takes it off the table and starts opening it.
Speaker: As she opens the package, one piece of paper, as she first unfurls the string that the package is tied up in, the rope that it's tied up in, she slowly opens the piece of paper that covers the entire package, and inside it says, I know where you are.
Speaker: Chapter two.
Speaker: into the wilderness.
Speaker: Anna realizes that she can't stay in the woods, Washington, and she grabs Rose, and she's terrified.
Speaker: And she takes Rose, and she runs out the front door and gets in her Jeep, and she starts driving away from the cabin.
Speaker: In the back, she has rows, a tent, and a shotgun.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: And she's driving as fast as she can, as far away from that cabin as possible.
Speaker: As Anna just drives for days upon days, we see her stop by gas stations, get food for Rose.
Speaker: We see her drive for days.
Speaker: And at a certain point, it feels like she's been driving for over a month when she finally reaches into the heart of a forest.
Speaker: Somewhere unknown.
Speaker: As she reaches a clearing.
Speaker: Within the forest.
Speaker: She decides that this is the perfect place.
Speaker: To set up her new house.
Speaker: It's nighttime and Anna's curled up next to a fire.
Speaker: She has her tent pitched in the back and behind her.
Speaker: Rose is curled up and they've both had dinner.
Speaker: Then she hears an ominous ringing from her cell phone.
Speaker: She looks at her cell phone, and it's her dad's raise number.
Speaker: She picks up the cell phone and says, Hi, Dad.
Speaker: as soon as she says hi dad Ray says something along the lines of
Speaker: Hi, Rose, how's the weather in California right now?
Speaker: Anna knows something's up because that is a secret statement that her and her dad put together in the case of emergencies.
Speaker: Anna immediately picks up on the code because Ray doesn't give a shit about the weather normally.
Speaker: head and uh is uh anna responds oh uh the weather is good do you have company right now father and and then uh ray knowing exactly what this means he says no we no no company at all i just wanted to call and check your whereabouts how you are feeling right now and
Speaker: And Anna loves Ray, but knows she can't tell him her location, so she immediately hangs up.
Speaker: As soon as she hangs up, she gets a phone call again from Ray.
Speaker: Because he... Yeah.
Speaker: Hi, Dad.
Speaker: Anna, honey, you didn't tell me how the weather is right now in California.
Speaker: Father, driving to California, like driving from Washington is less than a month to California.
Speaker: I am not in California.
Speaker: Ray responds with, I know, honey, but I am just curious what the weather is like in California.
Speaker: And no, there is no company.
Speaker: I am just calling to check in.
Speaker: And Anna sometimes says the thing he's thinking out loud.
Speaker: And he's like, oh, no company in California.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yes, father.
Speaker: California has nice weather.
Speaker: I am in San Diego.
Speaker: Ray loses his mind and is like, God fucking damn it, woman.
Speaker: Christian Gray is holding a gun up to me and forcing me to make this goddamn call.
Speaker: And you're just straight up telling him that you're in San Diego.
Speaker: Do you want to die?
Speaker: Again, Anna is saying her thoughts out loud.
Speaker: She goes, I'm
Speaker: Oh, no, father.
Speaker: Christian, you are such a bad man.
Speaker: And he's like, no, father, I don't want to die.
Speaker: I am in San Diego, California.
Speaker: Ray hangs up.
Speaker: Oh,
Speaker: Chapter three, Christian in San Diego.
Speaker: We open on an airport.
Speaker: As we open on an airport as a man in a suit looking as fine and dapper as ever, almost like the Christian Bale from American Psycho walks outside the airport.
Speaker: surrounded by just hordes of people that work for him, almost like a baker's dozen from Puss in Boots.
Speaker: And as Christian makes his way through his workers, he enters one of those big black presidential-looking SUVs.
Speaker: And inside the SUV, there's Kate, there's Elliot,
Speaker: And there is Grace, Elliot, his brother, Grace, his adopted mother, and Kate, Anna's ex-best friend.
Speaker: In the front of the car, it's Mrs. Elena Robinson.
Speaker: And she takes the divider window down and says, where to, Mr. Gray?
Speaker: Mr. Gray's like, see, you fall quite far once you betray me, right, Mrs. Robinson?
Speaker: And rolls back up the divider.
Speaker: Mrs. Robinson puts the divider back down, goes, yes, you are correct, but I still need to know where to go.
Speaker: This is a one-way only parking zone.
Speaker: I can't really stop the car here for more than 10 minutes.
Speaker: It's only for onloading and offloading.
Speaker: So can we please go before they find us?
Speaker: Christian rolls his eyes and says, Kate and Elliot have been tracking Anna.
Speaker: They know where we're going.
Speaker: And while he says that, says that a cop comes in, starts knocking at the window, being, hey, hey, knock, knock, knock.
Speaker: This is a one-way only parking zone.
Speaker: You can't stall your car here for more than 15 minutes.
Speaker: And I've been counting.
Speaker: You've been here for 15 minutes and 12 seconds.
Speaker: And Mr. Gray rolls down the window and is like, hey, do you know who I am?
Speaker: I don't care whether if you're the goddamn president, you're in a one-way parking area and you're now here for 15 minutes and 24 seconds.
Speaker: I'll be here for 15 minutes and 30 seconds if I want to, officer.
Speaker: Well, congratulations, because now you beat that time.
Speaker: And while they're arguing, Kate exasperated, looks at Miss Robinson and says, to the woods, we're going to the woods of San Diego.
Speaker: Kate then floors it as the cops like, God damn it.
Speaker: You got to pay your 30 second fine of $30,000.
Speaker: And he jumps into his car and starts pursuing this limo.
Speaker: And while the SUV is driving erratically through traffic, the cop is,
Speaker: We see the cop in his patrol car.
Speaker: The sirens are going.
Speaker: And we see on his badge, it says San Diego police.
Speaker: And this cop likes to follow all the rules.
Speaker: And in San Diego, you have to have your badge, but you also have to have your name tag.
Speaker: So on the other side, it says Mr. Do Good.
Speaker: And Mr. Do Good is in hot pursuit.
Speaker: of Mr. Gray's SUV.
Speaker: And
Speaker: Behind Mr. Duguid is all of Mr. Gray's workers that greeted him.
Speaker: They are also chasing the cop car, which is chasing the SUV.
Speaker: But Mr. Duguid takes longer to reach, to get close with the SUV because the SUV keeps going away because Mr. Duguid naturally is following all the traffic laws.
Speaker: The SUV's blowing through all the red lights and Mr. Too Good stops.
Speaker: Takes more notes, adds the fines.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He's listening to the Eagles Hotel California.
Speaker: And the cars chasing him just stop behind him also at the stoplight.
Speaker: I love the image of watching this high-speed pursuit, but this SUV is flooring it, and this guy is listening to Hotel California, stops at a stop sign, goes, traffic light violation, that's $50,000 more.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And in Mr. Gray's car, he's like...
Speaker: I think we escaped.
Speaker: Now give me the load down, Brother Elliot and Kate.
Speaker: Give me the load down on where Anna's hiding.
Speaker: So Kate and Elliot are dressed up like hackers from like corporate hackers from movies in the early 2000s.
Speaker: They're like wearing black tuxedo, all black tuxedos and like glasses.
Speaker: Kate has like really bright hair for some reason.
Speaker: I'm not thinking, now I realize I'm not really thinking about movies, but I'm thinking about comic books.
Speaker: Like one earpiece.
Speaker: And one earpiece?
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: You get it.
Speaker: And Elliot pulls out his computer and it's all holographic new tech that we've never seen before.
Speaker: And we see these holographic images of traffic cameras and gas station cameras and everything.
Speaker: and cameras from, like, people's phone pockets are just, like, barely hanging out from the front pocket.
Speaker: And it all shows, like, Anna and how it's, like, tracking her on the map from, like, Washington going all the way across the country.
Speaker: Well, no, south of the country to San Diego.
Speaker: As he...
Speaker: As Elliot goes, sir, at 1800 hours, Anna, on January 12th, 2022, Anna left her cabin at Route 69 BDSM in the woods, Washington, to take a trip down south towards California.
Speaker: And she ended up in the woods, San Diego.
Speaker: We are now.
Speaker: 69 BDSM in the woods.
Speaker: Yeah, we are now going to her last own location in the woods.
Speaker: Also, side note, it took her a month to drive what should have taken four days.
Speaker: We have no idea how she did that, but it is quite an achievement in the opposite direction, really, but an achievement nonetheless.
Speaker: Our hypothesis is she takes great care of Rose, and they have ample doggy stops.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah!
Speaker: And Kate being like, you know, before I fell in love with you, Elliot, I was friends with Anna and I can confirm, yes, she does take really good care of her dogs and had an ample amount of doggy stops.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: So Rose is extremely protective and is a trained killer of a canine.
Speaker: So.
Speaker: As she says this, Mrs. Elena Robinson, she brings down the door again.
Speaker: She goes, oh, did somebody send little puppies?
Speaker: And she takes like a Ziploc bag full of treats and she tosses it back through the window and looks through like the front, the mirror and goes,
Speaker: That should take care of Rose.
Speaker: That is beef liver and frozen dried frozen beef liver.
Speaker: And it should.
Speaker: Rose would really love that as treats, I'm sure.
Speaker: Mr. Gray, still frustrated, rolls back up the divider while the bag of dog treats is cut by.
Speaker: by grace and grace is like i have the dog treats but i feel like everyone forgot i was here
Speaker: I forgot that Grace was actually also there.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then Grace goes, well, I'll give them something to not forget me by.
Speaker: She opens up her jacket pocket.
Speaker: She's also wearing like a very classic suit with like that earpiece and everything.
Speaker: She pulls out like a little vial from her breast pocket and she like sucks it up in a little pipette.
Speaker: and and pours like the entire pipette down into the ziplock bag and shakes the ziplock bag and gives it to christian and goes here the dog would really love these treats it's sleeping it's sleeping potion everyone it's not poison we're not killing the dog here yeah you monster it's tranquilizer i have a dog i'm not gonna kill the dog it's a tranquilizer
Speaker: Yeah, we are not going for the Marley and me effect.
Speaker: Spoiler alert.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yeah, Lassie's still alive.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Chapter four.
Speaker: And preparing in the woods.
Speaker: Do you want to start?
Speaker: Anna's in the woods and she's waking up in her tent.
Speaker: She's greeted by Rose's soft, wet nose.
Speaker: And Anna's using all of her survival skills that she learned in the bookstore in Seattle.
Speaker: Hardware store.
Speaker: hardware store in Seattle.
Speaker: He has felled many trees and created many booby traps.
Speaker: As soon as she comes out of her tent, we see the perimeter of her area.
Speaker: The entire perimeter having wood-like barbed wire.
Speaker: Barbed wire made of wood.
Speaker: And just a pile of logs from the felled trees that are in like odd shapes because she's cut a lot of parts from a lot of trees to make rope out of wood.
Speaker: Pulleys out of wood and every single thing she needs for her contraptions out of wood.
Speaker: And Hannah, having the habit of sometimes saying her thoughts out loud, goes, See, I knew I could make everything from wood.
Speaker: And who worked at the hardware store?
Speaker: Paul Clayton, right?
Speaker: Yeah, Paul Clayton.
Speaker: That dumb Paul Clayton thought that I couldn't?
Speaker: Take that, motherfucker.
Speaker: And she wants to say that she has a slight tear in her eye because if she had only ended up with Paul Clayton, she wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.
Speaker: So she goes, that dumb Paul Clayton
Speaker: Oh, Paul Clayton.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You were the only one that really cared.
Speaker: But her tear also has, like, it's made of water, but with the shine of the sun and, like, the branches, it looks like it has, like, wood grain on it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: and while her wood crane tear is going down her that's a song she hears it again um her phone ring ring ring and she sees on the screen that it is carla her mother
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Carla, she picks up the call and Carla goes, honey, I'm so sorry that Ray gave away where you are to Christian.
Speaker: But last I heard, they're on their way to San Diego.
Speaker: I want to give Carla an accent so bad, but I don't know any accents.
Speaker: Imagine she's super New York.
Speaker: what are you talking about okay not the new york accent is andy's accent he's in new york okay i'm imagining she's like super jersey right like she's super jersey new yorker like like like uh you know what i mean like like snooki she's like super snooki okay and carla's like
Speaker: Anna, I didn't praise no quitter.
Speaker: And we took lots of summer vacations growing up from New Jersey to the woods of San Diego.
Speaker: But remember, Anna, you're a steal.
Speaker: And we come from a long, long line of woodworkers.
Speaker: I'm sorry if you thought I was going to say iron workers.
Speaker: No, wood workers.
Speaker: You're steel from wood workers.
Speaker: So you're going to wood work your way out of this mess.
Speaker: Remember, Anna, even iron melts.
Speaker: Wood can be carved into anything.
Speaker: And Anna, feeling emboldened, goes, Why, yes, mother, I'm a steel.
Speaker: And we are the best woodworkers of New Jersey.
Speaker: Mr. Gray has no idea what woodworking he's walking into.
Speaker: Sorry, Mr. Gray has no idea what would working, he's working into.
Speaker: And Anna, going back to saying her thoughts out loud, goes, yeah, that is a better joke.
Speaker: Chapter five, Gray's caught up.
Speaker: And Ray parks his SUV in the woods of San Diego.
Speaker: And he turns to Elliot and goes, is this the spot?
Speaker: And Elliot's like, yeah, this is where Kate tracked her to.
Speaker: Watch out for Rose.
Speaker: And Mr. Gray goes...
Speaker: Okay, I'm going to go try to talk to her myself.
Speaker: And he gets out of the SUV, shuts the door, goes to the trunk, opens up the trunk, and pulls out some rope.
Speaker: And on the rope, he sees the brand of the rope, and it just says Caleb's Rope.
Speaker: That's an inside joke if you ever lived with us between the years of 2018 and 2019.
Speaker: Lots of listeners.
Speaker: Lots of listeners.
Speaker: And Mr. Gray, in all of his handsome glory, does like that, like, you know, like when you snap a towel, but he like snaps the rope.
Speaker: Okay, gotcha, gotcha.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Got it, got it, got it.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: He starts walking into the woods.
Speaker: Well, as soon as he snaps the rope, right?
Speaker: Because the rope is so long, the end hits really further up on a branch at the bottom.
Speaker: As soon as it hits a branch down on the ground on accident, a tree falls down completely right on top of where the branch hit.
Speaker: Okay, and the tree smashes through the branch, and there's a loud commotion.
Speaker: Yeah, Christian realizes, holy shit, this entire forest is booby-trapped.
Speaker: And so Christian being...
Speaker: being the scared individual he is goes back to the car and starts banging on the car and he's like we got booby traps um everybody how the car but especially mrs robinson uh
Speaker: Mrs. Robinson, because the divider doesn't have any sound abilities, you can't really hear that well.
Speaker: You can only hear if Mrs. Robinson wants to hear.
Speaker: She walks out.
Speaker: She goes, hey, you need me right now to help you, Christian?
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: What do you need?
Speaker: And Christian goes, walk there.
Speaker: Walk through the forest.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Mrs. Robinson starts walking into the woods and then we just hear a ruffle of leaves, a crunching of wood and a scream.
Speaker: And Mrs. Robinson disappears.
Speaker: Into a wood, into smoke that looks like wood carving, wood shavings.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And Christian has one slight tear in his cheek.
Speaker: And if you see the reflection of the sun rays on his tear, his tear just looks gray.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then Kate, Grace, and yeah, that's right.
Speaker: I remembered her this time.
Speaker: Kate, Grace, and Elliot are caught off guard.
Speaker: They're going, oh my God, where did she go?
Speaker: Did you do that, Christian?
Speaker: I didn't even realize you were a magician.
Speaker: And Christian goes, thank God I'm not a magician.
Speaker: She just got booby trapped.
Speaker: Booby trapped?
Speaker: Oh no, how are we going to get through this?
Speaker: They all say in unison.
Speaker: Christian's like, you better start walking, Elliot.
Speaker: You're the least liked brother.
Speaker: But brother, as soon as he says this, and as soon as Elliot goes, but brother, because he's genuinely hurt, Kate pulls out a gun and points it at Elliot and goes, he's right.
Speaker: I like Christian the whole time.
Speaker: And Elliot gets a single tear in his eye.
Speaker: And from the reflection of the sunlight, you could tell that the tear just looks like betrayal.
Speaker: It's the words.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And Grace looks at Elliot and goes, go on, Elliot.
Speaker: Sacrifice yourself for Christian.
Speaker: Be a good boy now.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And Elliot starts walking.
Speaker: As soon as Elliot hits another branch, a rope made up of wood gets cut, which causes an armored knight that is made out of wood.
Speaker: to start approaching Elliot, which is being controlled by sticks on each part of the armored knight.
Speaker: And the sticks, in turn, are controlled by a mechanism completely made out of wood.
Speaker: That... And Elliot's like, zoinks, a wooden knight.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The wooden knight takes a jousting pole, tosses it in front of Elliot and goes, huh, as a way to go, get ready to fight.
Speaker: And Elliot picks up the jousting pole and is like, I've read about this in Don Quixote's sequel.
Speaker: On guard.
Speaker: and they start charging at each other.
Speaker: The wooden knight is struck by Elliot, but it feels no pain being made out of wood.
Speaker: It takes its elbow and smacks, so that the knight smacks Elliot's head.
Speaker: Because it's made of wood, it hurts a lot.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And Elliot falls to the ground with his jousting stick being tossed up into the air.
Speaker: The wooden knight grabs the jousting stick and slams it right on top of Elliot, knocking him out.
Speaker: We're not going to kill him because that would be weird.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The sequel's PG-13.
Speaker: I mean, we're trying to appeal to the broad masses, you know.
Speaker: And Elliot's out cold.
Speaker: And Christian's like, ah, if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.
Speaker: At which point, Kate goes, no.
Speaker: You are precious to this operation.
Speaker: I will go.
Speaker: And Grace goes, go get him, tiger.
Speaker: Kate walks in and goes, hey, wood for brains.
Speaker: And Wood for Brains, the knight turns around and peels off the wood armor and under the wood armor reveals...
Speaker: reveals like a wood suit so looks like a secret service agent and this secret service suit wearing wood wood for brains just gets in a karate stance and does one of those like hand come on two cakes
Speaker: While this is happening, Christian Grey looks over to her mom and goes, see, this is why Anna, she's a talented woodworker.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Chapter seven in Anna's woodworking studio.
Speaker: Chapter six.
Speaker: Chapter six?
Speaker: I thought we were on.
Speaker: Okay, chapter six.
Speaker: No, I'm keeping a track.
Speaker: Chapter six.
Speaker: Okay, chapter six.
Speaker: And Hannah's in her tent, which is actually ideal for woodworking.
Speaker: Normal tent, ideal for woodworking.
Speaker: And she's like, Rose, I can feel it in my bones.
Speaker: Mr. Wood for brains can only last so much longer.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: We need to come up.
Speaker: Oh, go on.
Speaker: rose knuckles up to hannah and and rose go uh hannah goes we need to come up with a better plan so she starts she grabs a giant log of wood that is outside her tent places it on the on the pedestal and starts carving it we only see what's happening on from the behind and all we see is like her using the chisel and like
Speaker: parts of the wood flying over and over everywhere and then when we pan back it is a life-size model decoy carved completely out of wood of anna herself and chapter seven wood for brains versus kate okay and kate
Speaker: um sees wood for brains do the like come on motion and kate's like okay i've got this and kate um kate starts rummaging through her purse and she pulls out lipstick some loose change and a pair of numjucks
Speaker: and Christian looks at Grayson is like, oh, I didn't know Kate had so many talents.
Speaker: The nunchucks are actually made of iron.
Speaker: Which is weak to wood.
Speaker: Which is weird.
Speaker: As Kate's like doing the whole nunchuck thing with it and like holds it under one of her armpits.
Speaker: She now tells Wood for Brains to the come on motion.
Speaker: And Wood for Brains shrugs his shoulders and just starts sprinting at Kate.
Speaker: And Kate sees Wood for Brains sprinting in slow motion, and she winds up with her iron nunchucks.
Speaker: Wood for Brains is about to smack Kate, like about to punch Kate.
Speaker: But Kate, she goes low, sweeps the leg.
Speaker: Wood for Brains falls down onto the ground right below Kate.
Speaker: As Kate just does one motion with her nunchuck, lets it go.
Speaker: It smacks Wood for Brains on the face and then catches it back underneath her armpit.
Speaker: Wood for Brains is out cold and you can see one tear in Kate's cheek and through the beams of ray you could see that the tear just looks like triumph.
Speaker: for people visualizing this it's just the feeling of triumph there's no particular whatever triumph means to you that is what it says and Christian runs up to Kate and pats her on the back in a totally platonic way because he's off for Anna because that's work
Speaker: Yeah, because nice work.
Speaker: Stay with Grace.
Speaker: Stay with my mom.
Speaker: My mom.
Speaker: M-U-M.
Speaker: Because he's British.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: Me, mom.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And Christian's sprinting through the woods.
Speaker: And then chapter eight at Anna's camp.
Speaker: So Christian sees from a distance the barbed wire made of wood and he just pulls out a lighter.
Speaker: And sets it on fire.
Speaker: And when it burns enough, he just kicks it, causing it to break at a certain spot.
Speaker: And as soon as he then he like puts the fire off and he goes, geez,
Speaker: barbed wire made of wood come on do better and he's calling out to Anna he's like Anna I know you're in there as the sun sets in the sky I will find you
Speaker: So the sun's setting.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's getting almost dark.
Speaker: And on the corner of his eye, Christian sees a silhouette of someone by the fire.
Speaker: And he goes, Anna, Anna, it's you.
Speaker: I can't believe it.
Speaker: As he walks over to the silhouette, turns out it's the wooden sculpture that Anna made only minutes ago.
Speaker: And as soon as he puts his hands on the sculpture, there's Anna with her shotgun pointing directly at Christian and goes, move and I'll shoot.
Speaker: And Christian raises his hands because surprisingly, this is the first time a gun's ever been pointed at him in his life.
Speaker: He raises his hands.
Speaker: He's like, Hannah, all I wanted to do was take you away from that hardware store.
Speaker: Plus those other things I wanted to do, but we're not talking about that.
Speaker: I wanted you to get back to your love of woodworking, which you clearly have.
Speaker: I mean, we saw Mr. Wood for Brains.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That is a technical marvel.
Speaker: How the fuck did you make him alive?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I want to bring Mr. Wood for Brains to Gray Industries.
Speaker: We can take... We can sell Wood for Brains everywhere, but you're the only one alive who knows how to make them.
Speaker: Anna cocks the shotgun.
Speaker: She goes, don't lull me with your promises of corporate success.
Speaker: I will not fall for it.
Speaker: Last time I fell for it, I was hit on the butt 18 times.
Speaker: And I do not want that again.
Speaker: Christian's like, that's the initiation to come work at Gray and Company, Gray Industries.
Speaker: Oh, and he says, look, and he puts his pants down, and you see like a red mark on his right cheek.
Speaker: I have one too, and I own the company.
Speaker: And due to the sudden movement of pulling his pants down, Rose freaks out and charges Christian and adds a second mark on the other cheek.
Speaker: uh there's there's something here with like turn the other cheek but i don't know how to turn it into something else um but but uh as as rose marks uh marks his other cheek uh christian goes ow ow ow
Speaker: And Anna goes, maybe you like the role reversal.
Speaker: And Anna creeps forward and picks up Caleb's rope from Mr. Gray's pants.
Speaker: And she ties his hands up together and and pins it next to a bark with his butt facing her.
Speaker: And she nails the rope on on the wood, unlike the tree, so that he doesn't he's not able to escape.
Speaker: And Christian's restrained and he's looking at Anna and he's like, see Anna, this is all I ever wanted.
Speaker: You didn't read the fine print of the contract.
Speaker: And then Anna takes like a stick, like a very flimsy thin stick.
Speaker: She gets her chisel and she starts chiseling the stick.
Speaker: And she goes, yeah, but that still doesn't excuse the fact that you were a total creep and kept following me everywhere I went.
Speaker: And then when we look back, the tiny stick has now become a thick paddle.
Speaker: And while Anna is holding the thick paddle and hitting it in her hand, and Rose is barking at Mr. Gray, who's restrained, we hear a sound in the background.
Speaker: And the sound gets closer and closer and closer.
Speaker: The sun has set.
Speaker: And there's a flashlight.
Speaker: And there's a voice that goes, Oi, stop right there!
Speaker: That man owes us $85,000 for the state of California for parking 30 extra seconds and other traffic crimes.
Speaker: It's Mr. It's Inspector Dugan.
Speaker: Mr. Dugan.
Speaker: And Ed is like...
Speaker: And it's like, oh my god, Mr. Doogood, I thought you were going to be a myth and a legend.
Speaker: I'm so glad to see you.
Speaker: And Mr. Doogood walks over.
Speaker: He's like in booty shorts.
Speaker: Mr. Doogood walks over.
Speaker: Oh, that's all right.
Speaker: And he pulls his hat out.
Speaker: And with his hat comes off like his bushy eyebrows.
Speaker: He's like.
Speaker: his fake nose and glasses.
Speaker: It's clearly like a disguise.
Speaker: And it goes, because it was me the whole time.
Speaker: And it's Paul Clayton.
Speaker: The end.
Speaker: That concludes 51 Shades of Grey.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Anna's Hidden Talents.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Do the outro Andy.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: This is the outro and I don't know what to say right now, but this is the outro.
Speaker: Please subscribe.
Speaker: Hell yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Remember, we're bringing you the stories that the authors don't want you to know.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I was trying to make it something memorable for the hour.
Speaker: I don't fucking know, dude.
Speaker: Now you're overthinking it.
Speaker: You're just gonna be like, outro time.
Speaker: Thank you for listening to the stories authors are too lazy to write.
Speaker: That was... The outro?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Wait, which part of this is the outro?
Speaker: I don't understand.
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Speaker: Oh my god.
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Speaker: I think we're good for the... Oh my god!
Speaker: Thank you for listening to Cliff Notes Continued.
Speaker: We'll be back in two weeks on Tuesday, March 26th with a whole new book and a whole new story.
