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Christmas Chaos: Part 2
17 Plays1 year ago
We take a peek behind the scenes at the North Pole and uncover a bit of holiday drama. 🎅📖 Then, we tackle hot takes like whether candy canes are overrated and if Secret Santa really beats White Elephant. 🎄🎁 Cozy up for laughs and festive debates! 🌟
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Transcript
Santa's Corporate Drama
00:00:11
Speaker
I wanted to start us off here with a little bit of a Christmas story type deal. ah So normally, I know, cute. You guys are going to love this one. Normally, Chuck is our diary guy, but I i said, you know what? It's Christmas. I'll let, you know, I'll let him off the hook. Right. So took it upon myself. I didn't write this. I helped build it.
00:00:40
Speaker
with the help of Chet GPT. This should be real good. You gave it pride. Is that what you're about to say? You love that word. I i bit my tongue. I was so close. I encouraged it to write certain things and it did the hard work for me. I got ahold of Santa's diary.
00:01:04
Speaker
And what I have realized is that Santa is way more corporate. That operation going on up there is way different than you would expect. It's not all candy canes and lollipops. I wonder what the 401K is like when you work for Santa. Listen.
00:01:23
Speaker
They have an HR department and it's, I don't think you want to go work there. They got a lot of people on the way out. Let's dive into this and you guys can give your thoughts after each entry. But um yeah, this is Santa's diary for the month of December. It's not every day, you know, he doesn't, he's got a lot of work to do, but when he finds the time, you know, he jots down his thoughts in his diary. So this is, ah this one's dated December 1st. The elf union walked out today.
00:01:52
Speaker
Ooh. They're demanding healthier snack options. Mandatory breaks during peak toy season. And this was new. Therapy goats in the break room. I'm assuming goats is. I like not puppies or anything. They're a p-goats. I'm sorry. Goats are real sweet. Maybe for elves.
00:02:16
Speaker
i'm Sorry, I tried offering free peppermint mocha Fridays as a compromise But their lead negotiator jingle called it insulting and accused me of being out of touch with modern workplace needs Tell them jingle now the workshop floor is at a standstill tinsel from HR says we need to form a conflict resolution committee but honestly, I think she just wants an excuse to avoid handling the reindeer payroll error and Speaking of which, Blitzen has stopped emailing about his, hasn't stopped emailing about his overtime pay, and Dasher has already filed a flight stress complaint. This is a train wreck. I reminded Blitzen that Reindeer aren't technically employees, but contractors, and now he's threatening to leak his antler polishing expenses to the press. Meanwhile, Rudolph asked for hazard pay, citing emotional distress from working near flashing lights.
00:03:10
Speaker
At this rate, we're going to have a full blown strike by the 10th, unless I can bribe them all with whiskey or sugar cookies. That's December 1st. Uh, Oh.
00:03:26
Speaker
Can I ponder about a couple things there? You can, yes, please. I don't know how all dudes getting overtime. I mean, they work one day a year. right What are the reindeer doing? like i don't know i Well, I mean, there's a lot of rehearsals, right? There's a lot of, you know, test flights and stuff, I would think, but.
00:03:45
Speaker
He might be a little tone deaf because one of the things they're asking for is healthier snacks and he's going to attempt to bribe them with whiskey and sugar cookies. He's not listening to them. Yeah. I mean, I always thought elves were underage, but maybe that's, uh, child labor laws. yeah maybe oh yeah You thought they were children.
00:04:11
Speaker
Well, when I just see people like three feet or smaller, I assume they're children. Is that no good? Should I stop making that assumption? Have you seen Elf, right? The movie, Elf? Yup. Okay. They're not, you know. They're not? Kids? No. They have beards. Well, you have a beard. So, well, but I'm, okay. Are you? We're good. All right. I got one other. Real quick. Go ahead.
00:04:40
Speaker
Yeah, I gotta go back to the goats real quick. That seems like a hazard. I mean, they're elves. Goats can kick and I don't see them as being very comforting at all. But apparently, you know, maybe they find them therapeutic. I don't know. I mean, who are we to say? They live in a different, you know, world than us, so. Where is that, by the way? The North Pole? I think it's in the North Pole. Just confirming. Goats eat everything. I'd be worried about inventory.
00:05:11
Speaker
yeah ah Oh, inventory becomes a problem here. so Okay, we'll jump down to December 3rd.
Candy Cane Crisis
00:05:19
Speaker
Candy cane issues.
00:05:23
Speaker
We had to recall an entire batch of candy canes because the stripes were horizontal instead of diagonal. Jingle jingle becomes a problem, let me just say. Jingle called it an attack on holiday integrity and staged a dramatic walkout from the wrapping station.
00:05:39
Speaker
The quality control elves are panicking. Half of them are stress eating gumdrops while the others are sharpening their scissors like they're preparing for war. This is not very, they're not children. They're preparing this. This is about to take a turn. They're building shanks. Right. I like it though. Excuse me.
00:05:59
Speaker
Peppermint Patty accused Minty Joe of sabotaging the candy cane machines, but Joe claims it's outdated equipment. I overheard Jolly whispering about organized sabotage. And now there's this big conspiracy board with strings and thumbtacks pinned up in the break room. Tinsel wants me to mediate, but honestly, I'm considering outsourcing candy cane production to the South Pole. I didn't know they had a workshop in the South Pole.
00:06:29
Speaker
That's what I asked earlier. The sister branch. Meanwhile, Mrs. Claus suggested we shift focus to sugar cookies, but Jingle said that would be an unthinkable betrayal to the peppermint community. I'm one frosting flight away from canceling Christmas. Jingle is quite a problem here. Jingle's like that one coworker that's like hundred here for the drama. Unsufferable.
00:06:54
Speaker
comes to mind. That would be and would be an unthinkable betrayal to the peppermint community. I can see them sitting there writing it down. Was it an accident, the horizontal stripes? I would assume so. Right, so dude, chill out. Accidents happen. well but Whether by accident or on accident, either one, they happen. Either one, they happen.
00:07:17
Speaker
I don't, I mean, but you know, there's gonna be that person that's like blaming people immediately, like, oh, yep, this sounds just like Joe. oh Joe would make this, and I've been telling them too, Joe needs to carry it. I'm sick of it. Carry it, Joe. You know what? Carry it. Sorry. Also, by the way, but shout out, I mean, a ah cameo by Peppermint Patty.
00:07:43
Speaker
Am I the only one thinking Peppermint Patty worked there? Immediately, Charlie Brown. Yeah. and Didn't didn't ah know Peppermint Patty worked up there. um Okay, this is where it gets interesting. December 5th, they're not every two days, by the way. There's not that many. I know we went 135, but it slows down a little bit.
Tech Trouble with Slay OS 2.0
00:08:02
Speaker
ah We unveiled the new Slay software, Slay OS 2.0. Oh, I like it. And it crashed mid test flight.
00:08:12
Speaker
Dasher blames software glitches, but Vixen insists it was user error. Blitzen's like, no, no, I'm not. Did you restart it? Uh-uh. No. Blitzen, who's still bitter about payroll, blamed underfunding and accused me of prioritizing flashy upgrades over basic functionality.
00:08:34
Speaker
The IT elves are in full panic mode running around the server room with candy cane shaped flash drives and shouting phrases like reboot sequence failure. Meanwhile, sparkle from accounting keeps reminding me that the slay upgrade costs double the approved budget, which let's be honest, she's never going to let me forget. Now the reindeer refused to fly unless we resolve airspace safety concerns. And sparkle suggests buying drones as a backup plan. Meanwhile, comment is demanding a heated seat. What like maybe maybe like a heated? I don't know. That one's interesting. Prancer won't stop requesting an in flight entertainment system. And Rudolph wants Bluetooth in his nose. At this point, I'm seriously considering replacing everyone with Amazon Prime.
00:09:26
Speaker
I was about to say, this triggers my fight or flight a little bit. If I worked here, I'd be putting that two weeks in so fast. That's too chaotic. That's too chaotic. They needed that. Where are you going to find a job as like a four foot tall? That's exactly what I was going to say. I'm going to go to New York, like Buddy the Elf, and I'm going to start a new life because I can't with this. Well, Buddy was human though. What did? They got pointy ears. And he was a train wreck. He was a train wreck. If he could do it, I can do it.
00:09:53
Speaker
But what did he end up? Did he get a job though? He worked in the mail room for a while. He did. He just had the right connections. He had a network to tap into. His dad was a big wig. Right. But if you don't have that, it's not going to work out. Also, I don't, the reindeer don't have an alternate option for work. I guess they can model or maybe pull around slaves in New York or something, but. Go stand in a petting zoo.
00:10:21
Speaker
Ooh, yeah. That's tough. That's tough. That's really the only other place you see them. That's what I always think when people start complaining about their job, like, uh, you better think about what you're going to do if you get what you want. You're going to go see in a petting zoo and then what's going to happen? Oh gosh. Okay. December 15th.
Romantic Entanglements in Santa's Workshop
00:10:45
Speaker
Today's one-on-one meetings, man, he's doing one-on-one meetings. That's a heck of a boss. That's bold at this point. And bold, it's December 15th. So how are things going? Ooh, no. Prime, prime toy making season. Let's have one-on-one meetings. Today's one-on-one meetings were exhausting. Tinsel from HR pulled me aside to flag some concerns about workplace relationships.
00:11:12
Speaker
Apparently, Sugarplum and Frosty from inventory were caught making out in the break room, which has led to jealousy issues with Sparkle, who says Frosty promised to carol with her at the holiday party. Now, Sparkle is passive aggressively withholding supply orders from inventory until Frosty apologizes.
00:11:34
Speaker
Frosty always did give off player vibes, you know what I mean? And does Carol mean... Carol or does... You think they were doing air quotes? Carol. Caroling. With me. This is an age-old issue. I mean, they got feelings too, right? I don't know. I never hung out with little people. Meanwhile, well, they're just small people. They're not like... They're not dwarves. Specifically elves.
00:12:03
Speaker
They're much different than dwarves. They're just miniature. A miniature dwarf. You see an elf, right? You keep referencing that, like historical. I know, but like that's the best representation I can think of.
00:12:18
Speaker
okay Meanwhile, Jingle claims that Jolly has been spreading rumors that he's management's favorite. Jingle demanded a formal statement from me clarifying that I don't have favorites. I tried to stay neutral, but Jingle stormed out when I said, everyone's on my nice list. Now we're just splitting hairs. and This is incredible. Also, Hermey keeps interrupting meetings to announce that he's quitting to become a dentist.
00:12:45
Speaker
It's time for a career change. Honestly, it might be the most grounded idea anyone's had this week, but now I'm down a certified ribbon tire. At this point, I'm tempted to outsource the entire operation in Amazon and move to Hawaii.
Pre-Christmas Panic
00:13:00
Speaker
Let's face it. Everyone thinks parents put presents under the tree anyway. I'm 100% on Santa's side. i mean he's Got the most important job, maybe, in the world. And he's trying to, you know, run this. Again, Hermey, December 15th, I'm going to become a dentist. A dentist. I love that guy. And go to the island of misfit toys. I know. Well, teeth are the future. Well, Cody Rhodes in there. No, no, no.
00:13:36
Speaker
December 20th, the office pantry is bare and it's creating tension. the office pantry, like they keep it stocked. and gosh i mean they are just it's brutal need this crowd I think it's because the holiday season and it's like we actually have to do our job now. and Mrs. Claus blames excessive snacking during overtime shifts, but I caught Prancer sneaking cookies into his cubicle. When I confronted him, he tried to bribe me with peppermint bark. I told him this was a serious matter and he said, so is morale. I said, touche.
00:14:14
Speaker
Now, Sparkle wants snack rationing, but Jingle is threatening another walk out if that happens. Honestly, Jingle can walk at this point. Yeah, yeah. You don't need that guy. Meanwhile, Tinsel suggests replacing cookies with kale chips and has mysteriously gone missing ever since. Hermey tried to suggest we install vending machines, but honestly, no one trusts him anymore after the tennis thing.
00:14:37
Speaker
Man, sometimes, I mean, vending machines can be anti-teeth. Yeah, I mean, what yeah. Maybe like the fruit vending machine, like that in the office, that one episode. Maybe. Fruit and veggies. That didn't work.
00:14:53
Speaker
We're getting towards Christmas Eve here. ah December 22nd, I woke up at 3 a.m. panicking about inventory. Inventory ran another supply check and we're short on bows and gift tags. I don't think you need gift tags, do you? I mean, just put them in a pile. You definitely don't need bows. Definitely don't. Well, I mean, it's just, it's purely aesthetic. Just wrapping paper. Aesthetic. You just need the wrapping paper.
00:15:18
Speaker
At this point, they just need to get product out the door. Right? I don't know. I'm not worried about them. We need to be moving product. ah Where was that? Sparkle wants to cut corners and Dasher keeps mentioning stress relief or stress leave. I'm sorry. At this point, I'm relying on caffeine and blind optimism. Hmm.
00:15:43
Speaker
Jingle suggests we implement a Santa approved speed wrapping technique, but that just results in several broken toys and one elf getting tangled in ribbon. Meanwhile, Blitzen requested extra hay for emotional support, and Comet is refusing to fly unless Dislay gets another safety inspection. I don't blame Comet.
00:16:04
Speaker
Uh, Miss Claus, Miss Claus tried to calm me down with gingerbread cookies. That seems like all she does there. she's like It's just like, does anyone want cookies? No, maybe we could throw in some cookies. But even she admitted that morale is precarious at best. I caught her me giving a motivational speech to the wrapping team about believing in themselves. But half of them were too busy stress eating candy canes. So listen, he told them it was bad for their teeth.
00:16:36
Speaker
I feel like- At least he's trying to contribute something. I mean, the week of Christmas, at least. Yeah. No one needs to be talking about stress, time off. there're It's go time. Yeah, but that's- You know what you're getting into. There's no, don't bring up any issues this week. you're you But see, that's you're coming at it with a logical standpoint. you know Half of these employees,
00:17:04
Speaker
You know, are thinking like, no, I've worked and they're not going to roll over my hours. So if I don't take time off, they sound like somebody's mom. Yes, they are. They are, though. Are they not? say I mean, Jingle keeps, you know, that is a workplace hazard. No one talks like that. Right. Like.
00:17:24
Speaker
There was, uh, sleepy, sneezy, uh, dopey. The seven dwarves? Yeah. They're all, they're sassy. Wrong story, I think. Same. Sure. We're talking about the little people, right? No, no. Those are dwarves.
00:17:41
Speaker
These are elves. These are elves. Wow, that might be insulting. I don't know. I need to see a... A visual. What's the family tree and see where they split it but it off. See where they split off. they're At some point, they're... Yeah. Oh, they definitely go back to a ah common ancestor. Surely. What about the... you know The one, the, are they, I don't know what they're called in Harry Potter. Are they the trolls? Trolls? Yep. Yeah. Are they in this too? I mean, they're of some relation. Yep. Yep. Okay. We we've made it to Cruz and Steve, December 24th, we made it barely to slay his patch together with duct tape. Oh, they're not going to fly with that. And the reindeer have agreed to fly under protest. No.
00:18:31
Speaker
The elves are running on candy cane fumes, assembling last minute toys like caffeinated maniacs. I don't think anyone should be assembling toys on December 24th. We should have that done. We've had all year. We don't need to be. Anyway, and rough that that could be a failure on Santa's side. I mean, maybe he needs maybe he didn't prepare as well as he used to.
00:18:54
Speaker
Meanwhile, Frosty and Sparkle made finally made up, but now they're slow dancing in the rapping station, blocking production lines. I don't know. But you can't fire people at this point. No, no. It's like, no, we just got to get through it. January comes, we'll do some downsizing. Tencel keeps talking about planning next year, and Mrs. Claus is force feeding me gingerbread cookies. Good grief. She's really on those cookies.
00:19:22
Speaker
ah To wrap it all up, December 26th, the workshop looks like a wrapping paper tornado hit it. The elves are passed out on beanbags, and I'm pretty sure Prancer ate an entire gingerbread house. Prancer might be obese. Tinsel's already pushing for next year's plans, but I've locked my office door and am pretending to not exist until January. I have one recommendation for Santa.
00:19:50
Speaker
Yeah, as a team lead Yup. After the first of the year, hey, make a call to the Hobbits. Maybe they can help out. mean Oh, but that's like- Frodo photodo knows how to lead, you know bring people together for a common cause, a once-in-a-lifetime thing. i mean And they're they're little people too, so they can it all the stuff fits some the table's line-up phase. Bathrooms are appropriate.
00:20:21
Speaker
That's... It's it's a something to consider. It's something to consider. i that That would cause more conflict, because then the elves, like the good ones are like, oh, okay, yeah, who are these guys? You brought in our cousins that... Sometimes, though, that's what people need. They need a little bit of competition at their position and... Right, because you're about to get the bench here.
00:20:46
Speaker
Then they're just going to go and strike again. They already have a union that so. Strike one. I think you could just rotate out small people. There's different groups. So like every four years you get a shot. Have we tried just humans at this point? Yeah, but then you're rebuilding. You're rebuilding the toy shop. Nothing fits. Uh, that's fair. That's fair. There's a lot to, yeah.
00:21:15
Speaker
Um, well that, you know, I would say take all the rights away from the reindeer. The like, you've got one simple, like you just pull the, when you said they were contractors, so they shouldn't, you know, so what are they doing in cubicles? Right? They shouldn't have offices stalls.
00:21:35
Speaker
They're biggin' it up. They're biggin' that up. We're asking for a emotional, you you know, support from like more hay and extra hay. Yeah, right. Yeah, it's brutal. You guys brought some hot takes. You've definitely picked up on some throughout, but I would love to hear these, ah you know, is eggnog overrated? Does anyone even drink it?
00:22:01
Speaker
Okay. I knew you specifically even mentioned that prior to just to see if I would latch on. I'm not going to get on that path. I baited you a little bit. You did. You did, but I'm not taking the bait. They might call me Big Mouth bath big mouth Bass Charlie for, but not for that reason. Anyways. What's the eggnog correlation there?
00:22:25
Speaker
I just really enjoy Eggnog. He does. Do you? Okay. I do. Okay. ah She's judging you. No, I'm not. Do you? Okay. Interesting. No, I'm really not. No, hey, if you love it, that's fine. I'm sure Candace Cameron DeRay loves it too. Whatever. I don't have any idea about that. No, I know we got people's yums. If you love something, love it.
00:22:47
Speaker
Hot chocolate or eggnog? Yeah, but I mean, that's not a big deal, is it? that I mean, eggnog's widely appreciated, right? Sure. Or is it like fruitcake, where it just kind of shows up every year, but it's like, who asked for this? The fruitcake, I definitely don't know who asked for that.
00:23:03
Speaker
Okay, I know you told us only bring one, but I thought of one just sitting here, so I have two very brief ones. Go for it. ah One is candy canes are so overrated. I cannot stand a candy cane, and I hope that wasn't one of y'all's, but i when somebody hands out candy canes, I'm like, okay, what do you want me to do with this? First of all, they're incredibly hard to unwrap. You want me to do with this?
00:23:29
Speaker
They're incredibly hard to unwrap. That's true. How do you eat it? Because I can't stand getting sticky stuff on my hands, so I have to decide am I going to slowly unwrap it? Am I going to unwrap the whole thing and eat it? Do you bite it? Do you not bite it? This is so valid though. I'll give you that. I feel weird eating it sometimes.
00:23:52
Speaker
So my siblings, in addition to pretending to be orphans when we grew up, we used to eat the end of the candy canes until they were super, super sharp. Super sharp. And then... Stab each other? Stab each other. Nice. What a Christmas tradition. That's what they're for. Yeah, but that was a really good thing. As you're eating it, it becomes sharp and then you're like, I don't know, do I bite it? Is it gonna stab my mouth? Do I stab my brother?
00:24:20
Speaker
I can deal with the many ones because you can almost just pop that whole thing in your mouth. You can break those in half and eat them like a mini. Yeah. I like the, I don't like the peppermint ones, but the ones that non peppermint candy canes. Yeah. I was just waiting for that. What was your other, I don't really disagree with that. I mean, it's true. Cause you don't know how to hold it. It's just awkward. It's awkward.
00:24:47
Speaker
Yeah. Candy and- It's not a lollipop, there's not a- But it's so everywhere, like boxes of them. It's just, I don't get it. Yeah, I want to know who's eating all those candy canes. But you can decorate your tree with them and they're adorable. That's true. That's true. Probably 75% of what we do with candy canes. As non-candy, they're awesome. They're perfect for, you know. Okay, well there you go. Hang them on the tree.
Candy Cane Critique
00:25:12
Speaker
So they're just not good as snacks. What was your other hot take, Chuck? Is this the one you thought of while we're sitting here? No, the candy canes was. Because I was thinking about those horizontal stripes. I'm like, good. Nobody's going to eat them anyway. They're not defective. No one cares. They're just as fine. They ship them out. They might be more interesting now. I thought that that. Actually, I thought that. I was like, that could be a look. That might be worth trying. Well, it caused some chaos at corporate.
00:25:39
Speaker
Uh, you know, fun fact, they were actually were horizontal stripes in the beginning, but as they made the first ones, it got stretched out and it became diagonal. Look it up. Doesn't, doesn't candy ribbon, like peppermint ribbon candy, that has horizontal stripes, doesn't it? I don't know. I've just watched those TikTok videos of those people. Oh yeah. And candy and it might just come watching for hours. Oh, they're great. Yeah. Okay. yeah My, my other one was, um,
00:26:10
Speaker
Christmas
Reimagining Christmas Meals
00:26:11
Speaker
food, like the Christmas meal, whatever, Christmas needs to find a new meal, because that's not Christmas meal, that's Thanksgiving. And everybody's like, oh, I can't wait for Christmas, and we're gonna have a turkey, and we're gonna have stuffing, we're gonna have cranberry sauce. No, we had that a month ago. We just did that, no, I'm so with you on that. You need to find something else. Did Christmas steal it from Thanksgiving or other way around? What came first? Ooh.
00:26:39
Speaker
I mean Christmas came before Thanksgiving, but the meal. They didn't even steal the good parts of Christmas. They were just like, let's eat turkey also this day. Let's eat it in November. The Thanksgiving meal was born out of need, so I feel like Christmas was like, man. Did they have turkey there? Christmas is like fruit and spices and like aromatic. They didn't have yams. Cookies and candy and I don't know what a Christmas meal is, but it's not that. Do you have a Christmas meal? Is like Christmas night or Christmas Eve?
00:27:16
Speaker
It's normally whenever the family wants it to be. Whatever they decide, just put in the group space. Not Christmas Eve. That's too close to go time.
00:27:28
Speaker
I got to get home. okay I got things to do. But anyway, and I don't like that Christmas stole Thanksgiving's meal. It's Thanksgiving's. Christmas, you need to go find something else, seafood maybe, or fried chicken. I think we just shut that down, because I think Christmas came first. and Yeah, but it came first, but not the meal. I mean, yeah, Christmas has been around. You're going to eat the Thanksgiving food first, regardless. Right. Christmas is jealous, is what happened. You know, they try and get in front of Halloween now, much less Thanksgiving. They're stealing.
00:27:57
Speaker
stuff from other holidays. Go get something else. You know what? Halloween's going to do Christmas now, too. We're going to-flop. Flip the script on them. The past couple of years, my family's done Italian for Christmas meal. Okay. And it's phenomenal. Yeah, chicken parmesan, stuffed shells, an Italian meal, and it's such a nice break from the holiday food. I like the idea of of Chinese.
00:28:22
Speaker
Yeah, a lot of people do Chinese on Christmas Day. Hey, hey. Fa-ra-ra-ra. No, no, no, no. Fa-la-la-la-la. It's from a Christmas story. You can't say that, can you? But it's from a Christmas story. They said it first. That makes sense. And then the duck, they bring the duck out. Yes. Yeah. He's looking at me. Oh. Thank you. That's, yes, that's better. Okay, Shauna, you have some hot takes.
00:28:52
Speaker
I don't know if mine was like a hot take necessarily. um i don't have like ah Christmas is very much like an itemized situation for me. I don't get like a ton of warm fuzzies at Christmas necessarily other than watching my kids have a good time. But while you can miss me with the Hallmark movies and a lot of the other things,
00:29:12
Speaker
My favorite part of Christmas is Josh Groban specifically singing Oh Holy Night. There will never be a better Christmas song than Josh Groban singing Oh Holy Night. At first I just thought that was a fun fact and then you brought the hot take part of it and you said there will never be a better Christmas song.
00:29:34
Speaker
And it was like, whoa. Was there before he came around? I don't know. I don't know what it would have been. yeah The way he sings that song, i I sit and listen to it one good time every single Christmas. And I always cry. like okay It's the best. I feel so much better afterwards. It's a beautiful song. It is the most elite Christmas song. But it has to be Josh Groban. There's something about his voice. That's how I was going to ask you. Is it more about him or more about the song?
00:30:04
Speaker
The lyrics, there's several lyrics throughout the song that always get me, but specifically when he sings it, there's just something about his voice doing that song that's so perfect. Okay, speed round. ah Josh Groban, Michael Bublé. Josh Groban.
00:30:19
Speaker
What? that's That's a hot take right there. I heart him. I heart him so much. cow. That's huge. Michael Blue Bay is great. like his His fun fester. You dug all right. like he I'm not saying he's bad. I'm with you there, Chuck. I'm not saying he's bad, but if you just want to like get right in the guts, like Josh Groban can do that for you. Okay. Can I throw in a curve ball? Yeah. which is hi You never heard of this argument that i heard the song?
The Great Christmas Song Debate
00:30:45
Speaker
I think, Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Frank Sinatra ah is the song of Christmas. That could get you in the feels. I could see that. i i'll I'll rank that above old Mr. JG Josh Groban.
00:30:58
Speaker
Thank you. Nice. I mean, there's plenty of others better, but yeah. I mean, Mariah Carey is not getting any love right now. Yeah. Well, I mean, that, you know what's unfortunate is that was a great song and then it wasn't as good and then the next year it wasn't as good. And now it's annoying. Are tell you talking about the All I Want for Christmas song? Yeah. Yeah. It's just overplayed. It's not bad. It's going to be. It's a Christmas song and it's like a classic and it's, I i just, you know,
00:31:28
Speaker
ah Something about that yeah Frank Sinatra singing Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. It makes me think of the Muppets Christmas Carol. Well, you kind of just brought it down a little bit. No, but that's like heavy. and It's not really heavy. And it's like, a oh, this is emotional. Yeah, it makes me think of the Muppets.
00:31:47
Speaker
Well, because No, no, no, no, no, or no, it was a merry little Christmas. You know what? It wasn't the Muppets. I lied. It was Sesame Street Christmas. away I know it sounds worse, but there's one part in that movie from when I was a kid. I don't even know when the heck it came out, but it was like really sweet. And as a kid, I always remember sitting, listening to it and really liking it.
00:32:07
Speaker
Yeah, but what's funny though is it's like, what I was saying was like, that was a really, it's like a really powerful moment for me. And it's like, yeah, that reminds me of the Sesame Street. Yeah. Big Bird was in the background. Okay, but that's what I mean. That was so cute. As a kid though. Well, I will never listen to that song the same again. I totally understand what you're saying, but as a kid, it had that same impact. Wait, the Josh Groban version was back then? No, no, no, no, no. Okay. So it is about the song and it's not Josh Groban.
00:32:38
Speaker
So if someone else- Now we're talking about have yourself a merry little Christmas. Oh, I thought you were talking about a holiday night. Okay. Wow. wow i Okay. Bottom line, I was agreeing with you on that song that it is a good song and it actually kind of gets you kind of in your feels. I love the Mannheim steamroll, the carol of the bells. That's another really good one. I mean, no words, just all audio. Yeah, that's probably, that's in my top three for sure.
00:33:07
Speaker
Oh, okay. But below Josh Graben. Still telling you his version of Oh Holy Night, something about it. I've honestly not listened to it. So I'll put that, I'm going to listen to that while I watch the Christmas Halloween movie y'all talked about and we'll see you for Christmas. Don't listen to him at the same time. that Not at the same time? That's no good. like My ah hot take is that I i don't like Secret Santa.
Secret Santa vs. White Elephant
00:33:36
Speaker
I'd much rather do a white elephant, much rather. Oh, cause like ah yeah you were getting them mixed up and I was about to tell you, but no, you know, it I don't like buying for one person specifically. I'd rather just buy a present that anybody can have and bring it in and be like, there you go.
00:33:56
Speaker
Now I don't like the idea that, okay, like, you know, there's the pressure of that when someone opens it and they're like, Oh, this gift sucks. And you're sitting there like, yo, that's the one I brought. But also there's more pressure on like, okay, but now I have to figure out what this person wants or what they would like. Oh my gosh, how dare you put in some effort into the Christmas gift. How am I supposed to put in the bare minimum? As adults, I don't know what you have, what you don't have. I don't know what you need. I could buy something funny. I'm not going to buy something that is, oh, I really needed this. I was looking for one of these because I don't... You know what I'm saying? It's going to be something that I hear you loud and clear, but wow, it just sounds bad. I'm not sounding great right now. I was going to say, but y'all are family. So this I've already bought mine for my person. I have it and it's great. Well, you don't know that yet. I think it's great. But yeah, again, it was sitting there was like, I have no idea. I don't know. You can't ask anybody because then they'll know.
00:35:16
Speaker
Whatever. So you'd prefer Secret Santa over a white elephant? I don't care for either one of them. I think it's silly. I skipped out on my company, White Elephant. They were like, everybody sign up. And I was like, no. And I'm not going to get anything. And I'm not getting anything from y'all. Aren't you the team lead? And I felt great about it.
00:35:36
Speaker
I hate it when it comes time to do the white elephant, because everybody wants to tell you all the different ways that you're supposed to do it, and I get annoyed with people saying, no, no, no, you got the highest number. Everybody has a different version of how they do it. So you get to go last, and I'm like, oh, this is why I hate this. Then my brain does the same thing it does when Scott explains rules to games, where I'm like, nope, I'm over here now. Just tell me when it's my turn and I'll pretend like I'm picking one. I'm sure this is going to be really great. We do one. We do it on Aaron's side of the family. Oh, white elephant. Yeah. And you don't, you're like. And we used to try and do male and female gifts. So all the men and all the women, but now it's got to wear, oh, it's silly. You pick from a women's
00:36:25
Speaker
You know, so now they're kind of just all combined and... Does it collide or do the men play the game and the women play the game, like separately? No, no, no. You play all at once, which you only pick from one pile of gifts, either main pile or one pile. But a few years ago, somebody went astray and picked the women gift. Ooh, you pick the girl pile. Yeah. So that's when it... Ooh, tampon. Yeah. Or, oh, some lotion and candles.
00:36:51
Speaker
That's much sweeter than I said. I mean, there's nothing sounds wrong with that. but Anyway, no, I don't like either one of them. Either I'm going to get you something or not. and But i'd I'd rather the Secret Santa. I don't mind putting in a little effort to find out.
00:37:07
Speaker
I just wish Christmas could be for the kids. Like, we've pretty much come to that agreement in our family. Like, Christmas is for the kids. Okay, but that's why I prefer a white elephant, because I'd rather just buy something stupid that, in reality, nobody really wants or needs, but it's just funny. And it's like, who's going to end up with this? Well, I was kind of hoping our secret Santa was going to be silly. I hope you didn't get something too serious. Did you do something silly? Oh, mine's definitely silly. Oh, gosh. Y'all are getting your wires crossed now between Secret Santa and White Elephant. It's gonna be a hybrid. I mean, I just, it doesn't matter. I would much rather do the White Elephant. One year, God, we did a White Elephant. I don't like gift cards either. That's a cop-out. Oh, gift cards. Wow. Oh, I got a gift card. Oh, I love gift cards. That's an immediate cop-out. You put no effort. You said, what's the limit? 25 bucks? That's your thing. No effort. Here's 25 bucks to Stig House.
00:38:01
Speaker
like well No, but I'd rather put an effort that anyone could have rather than, you know, because what happens when you get that one person that, you know, you never hang around with and it's like, Oh, I, you know, I got the new boyfriend. or What do I owe? Yeah, that's why gift cards are great. Some money had to get him. I love a gift card. Then I can pick out whatever I want. But it's anyway, like we said,
00:38:30
Speaker
I mean, if you just, what if everybody just got a gift card? Then it's like, well, I mean, I should have just kept my $25. Now all we've done is exchange. Because Christmas is for the kids. I spent 25 bucks for you to tell me where I had to spend that 25 bucks. Christmas is for the kids. What is the kid limit? 18 and under?
00:38:50
Speaker
That's a great question. Yeah, that's that's what I would put it at. As a parent, what year do you know start buying them more socks? unless We actually had this conversation today at brunch with my oldest who's about to turn 15 because he was talking about Santa. And the conclusion we came to is that Santa stops coming for you when you start paying taxes. So when you get a JOB and you're paying taxes, it's no more. Oh, it's a school down these streets. So if you don't get a job, you keep getting Christmas presents. That's, well, I mean, somebody's going to figure that out. dying to This kid's dying to get a job. This kid's dying to get a job. So in this case, we're free and clear. Maybe he just finessed you though. Maybe he's like, yeah, I'll tell him I'm dying to get a job. And then they'll be like, well, once you do, you don't get Christmas. he fuck yeah We didn't say you don't get Christmas. No, I would say
00:39:38
Speaker
Santa just brings socks and stuff that you need. I'll give it till 21 because for a while you're young and broken. That is up there. I mean, 20 years old. Not Santa. Not Santa specifically. Just like Christmas presents. Yeah, I'm going 18. I'm going 18.
00:39:56
Speaker
At 18, it's like when you graduate high school. OK, maybe. OK, yes, I don't think at 20 you need a pile of presents. My point is at a certain at a certain point, it's like, OK, look, you're grown enough. Right. The question was what age is that now? Yeah, I think 18. OK, I would go with 18. Twenty one, you're still going to maybe get a couple of different things because you're young and broke. And then eventually, yeah, you graduate to like, here's a gift card or you'd be like, I didn't need a microwave. I need a toaster.
00:40:25
Speaker
ah Legitimately, though. Oh, you're 20. I got you. 22. It's like, oh, well, you should get it. Right. Or one year we got two nice camp chairs because we were like, you know, we need to upgrade our camp chairs. so Oh, it's a nice one. Okay. Nice. Yeah. Like this. I mean, it can be, but you're not going to have like, oh my gosh, here's all these boxes and da da da da. The one with the cup holder attachment. Yeah. Just a reclining leg. Yep. It's got the umbrella over top of it.
00:40:54
Speaker
The downside is these chairs are the same size as me and I look ridiculous carrying them. They're big. Doesn't matter. Oh, yeah. Clamping. You know what I mean? They're not. Yeah. All right. To wrap this all up, we're going to do a quick little would you rather of a few things.
Christmas 'Would You Rather' Scenarios
00:41:09
Speaker
Whoa. Whoa. I love would you rathers. Those are my favorite. It's only like five of them. No, no, no. Oh, I don't know. Would you rather? That just got serious. No, that's a different game you're thinking of. Please have CCB on my list. Please, please. Would you rather watch? You're going to go love her by default. Would you rather watch a Hallmark movie?
00:41:27
Speaker
Hallmark movie with Candace Cameron beret or Lacey. Yeah, I don't even need to hear the second one Yeah, first one. Yeah, that's not even a tough one. That's tough for no one. I know exactly what your answer would be. I know exactly what your answer would be. Well, what's funny though is it's tough for, you both said that's an easy question and you both had dramatically different answers. No, I just, that's tough for you guys. That's not tough for y'all. It's not tough for him. He loves her. And it's not tough for you. And I don't really care either way. I mean, obviously I don't want to watch it. You obviously care. I would have to go Lacey Shabir because I'm not stoked about it. That's right.
00:42:03
Speaker
Okay. Um, would you rather only listen to all I want for Christmas is you or last Christmas all December? Holy smokes. Last Christmas. I gave you my, I gave you my very next day. You gave it away. This is all I want for Christmas. Hands down. All I want for Christmas. I feel like I'd get really tired. Does it have to be the Mariah Carey version? Yeah.
00:42:31
Speaker
and so You're right. What other version is there? Of course I'm going with that one. I'd go with Last Christmas. Who sings that? I don't know. It's a boy group, isn't it? Well, I think it's a boy band. You might not be. I don't think so, no. It's a woman. Last Christmas. I gave you my home. Song by Wham. I knew it. I knew it.
00:42:59
Speaker
Okay. The original boy man. Oh, look at that. You're familiar with Wham Scott. Vaguely. George Michael. What's the other guy's name? Anyway. Don't know. They're not coming on the show. Oh, wouldn't that. Definitely not them. Unless. Would you rather accidentally re-gift a present to the person who gave it to you? That's awkward. Or open a gift you absolutely hate in front of the giver.
00:43:30
Speaker
I'm going gifts I hate. I can play that off. But if I accidentally re-gift it, I don't even know I did it, so. Oh, you realize it when they open it and you go, oh crap. This is so funny, I gave you one of these. Oh, good point, good point. Yeah, you can't do that. I can play it off if I don't like the gift. That'd be bad. Oh, a label maker. I got a great burger face. I just got Tim one of those. Yeah. Yeah, I got this from Tim. You said you would steal, take something from your house last minute.
00:44:00
Speaker
How does that work? Is your secret Santa going to get your jacket as you walk on? I'm saying day of. I don't re-gift anything but gifts that I've gotten. I'm like, ah okay, you thought I enjoyed this and liked it and I opened it up in front of you, but I don't. It's probably leaving my house.
00:44:18
Speaker
later that day. Just donate it. That's like the whole, it's gone. When you get a Christmas you know gift card, not a gift card, a Christmas card, like when can it go in the trash? Oh, what a good hot take. Christmas cards are re ridiculous. youless What am I supposed to do with it? Play on the I put it in the trash. you yeah When you get it during the Christmas season, Christmas cards stay up as long as the Christmas tree.
00:44:48
Speaker
Stay up on the mantle. Mine don't. I put mine on the fridge. And for the season of Christmas, I will look at your face when I go get my coffee creamer and smile. But once I take down the Christmas decorations, you and your family, they're going in the recycling with everybody else.
00:45:05
Speaker
Yeah, I think you're being generous, but that's nice. I do recycle. Would you rather spend Christmas stranded at an airport or already I already can hear Chuck. I already know the answer to this. I don't even need to hear the second part. Stranded at an airport or snowed in at a random stranger's house.
00:45:25
Speaker
What's wrong with being stranded at the airport? I love it. Why am I in a random? Can you hear you saying that before? How did I end up in the random stranger's house? Well, it was like a Christmas horror movie. And then all of a sudden. That's what I'm saying. It sounds like it's about to take a turn. Spontaneous blizzard. Oh, well, if I'm at a Christmas party and we all get snowed in, that could be fun. For the first few hours. And then you wake up next morning and you're like. Right. How long are we here? Whoa.
00:45:51
Speaker
I love hanging out at the airport. It's awesome. That's perfect because I will never miss my flight. I'm already there. When they get the snow moved out, I'll be ready. You get to eat pretty good stuff, eat and drink and I love an airport. I'd get there 24 hours early if I thought I could pull it off. Just to kick it at the airport. Yes, would you rather only watch Hallmark Christmas movies or horror Christmas movies for the entire month of December? Hallmark all day. I'm not a horror movie guy. I'm going horror maybe.
00:46:26
Speaker
Oh, you guys are ridiculous. What do you mean? We went to a Christmas haunted house, Chuck, and it was so much fun. Again, what is this Halloween Christmas stuff going on? I don't understand it. The same haunted house that we go to at Halloween, they did a Christmas version for One Night Only in December.
00:46:45
Speaker
It was so much fun. so Sounds like fun. Scary Christmas. Yeah, we had like a whole group of people. Your older son is the one, right? Yeah, Daniel was one of them and then he brought a friend and then a couple of my friends came and yeah, it was so much fun. You know what's funny though? That sounds like exactly what your kids would love to do. Especially JD. He'd be like, yeah, it's awesome. It was so awesome. Krampus was there. I got my picture taken.
00:47:10
Speaker
Were there any hand little people? ah that yeah Am I saying that right? Would that be scary to you? They could run up and grab your legs in the dark. but that's That's terrible, because I'm thinking, yeah, I'm sitting there. I went to Virginia and I want to go to Christmas Town. And meanwhile, I'm thinking, everyone in here would much rather go to a haunted house. And me, the little romantic Christmas lover I am. Let's go see the lights. Let's see the lights. They're so good. Ride the train and drink hot chocolate. There were good lights at the haunted house.
00:47:47
Speaker
But what's lurking around them? it would that's That's the kicker. That's the kicker. Right when it draws you in. um Would you rather um host a Christmas party for like 20 people or attend one where you only know one person? I'm a host. I've hosted some parties in my day. It's fun.
00:48:10
Speaker
There's a lot of work in that, but then there's also a lot of work in the fact that you don't know anyone here and you're like, no, I have to. Yeah, I'd rather be in a house. I'm freaking out thinking about that. And then they're gonna talk to me for five minutes and then go mingle, because they know other people. Yeah, and then what do you do? It's awkward. Right, just stand by. like it Are you there with like, maybe like, you know,
00:48:31
Speaker
You came with air and your wife and you guys are both standing there like we don't know anyone but at least we can pretend like we're talking to each other yeah but she'd be fine. Yes, you would. This is no joke. I have to tell her when we go to something like that, you stay with me. Don't you leave me. And I have to hold her sometimes because she'll maybe see somebody else. She wants to talk to her and knows. I'm like, no, don't you leave me? Why don't you just follow her? And then you can just kind of hang out and pretend like you're part of the conversation. I'd rather just sit in the corner with her and just wait for it to be over. Because then she's going to be like, you know,
00:49:11
Speaker
This is Charlie my husband and then you got it. What do you do? So at any point you guys ever just decide like you got this you can go and I'm gonna stay yeah I was gonna say we finally gotten to the point where it's like She's not offended that I'm not going she knows I don't want to go But then she might have a better time if she can kind of mingle and do her thing Okay, look I'm gonna walk that's fair though because I think that's a common dynamic with couples. I to comfort level with knowing she doesn't care from there. Would you rather host a party for 20 people or attend? I actually like hosting people. but Believe it or not, i don't i don't we don't ever do it.
00:49:54
Speaker
we don't ever But if given the chance. No, don't do it, Scott. We don't ever do it, but I actually enjoy You know, like, oh, is everybody okay? You're doing good? Like, I always feel very inclined to make sure everybody's having a good time any time I'm around. Yeah, like if we're riding somewhere. And if there's 20 people you know, then it's like, these are my people. Yeah, I enjoy doing that.
00:50:19
Speaker
I don't ever do it, but I enjoy doing it. Yeah, you don't ever do it. Yeah. I think it'd be great. and Maybe. Not maybe though. You won't. Okay. Well, that is a wrap.
00:50:32
Speaker
on our Christmas episode. Thank you everybody for tuning in to episodes unscripted. We have, these these are Christmas specials obviously, but we have, ah hopefully if we can stay on a regular schedule, we have episodes every Monday and Friday.
00:50:50
Speaker
They come out at 6 a.m. I don't know if that's- Yeah, that's for the early risers, you know? I mean, we're focused on the business folks that are up, getting their day going on yeah early. The commute. The commute is what I thought. Oh, well, people that commute early, maybe. And then people like, you know, want it in the afternoon. Well, it's already there. Ta-da. So we hate remote workers. but we Give us some feedback. No, we're we're not against them. They're up. Well, i don't I don't hate anybody. There's one person that hates people that yeah
00:51:21
Speaker
Moving it on. So thank you for tuning in. Leave a comment. If you have any thoughts, um ah obviously a lot of what we say is based on our own ignorance. So please feel free to correct us. Tell us how we're wrong. There was actually, we had a comment on the the Civil War Avengers episode. That was very enlightening actually. No, they just informed us of a few things. that I was like, okay, that's actually, I very much appreciate that because I did not know that. We might have to revisit that conversation. I love that. Pick a comment and like circle back. Yeah. Definitely leave comments. That is greatly appreciated, whether they good or bad. We appreciate it. Thank you for tuning in for our Christmas episode. Episode is unscripted for Scott Feltz, Shawna Fretwell, and Charlie Harcum.
00:52:10
Speaker
fe navida ah about oh
00:52:33
Speaker
Feliz Navidad.