047: Attachment theory in relationships with Dr. James Hawkins

Welcome to The Communicate & Connect Podcast, where we dive deep into the heart of relationships to uncover the secrets of connection and communication. I'm your host, Elizabeth Polinsky, and in today’s episode, we're joined by Dr. James Hawkins, an expert Emotional Focused Therapy Trainer. Together, we'll explore the world of attachment theory in relationships, especially through the lens of military couples.

The very essence of attachment – our inherent need for close, intimate connections – can sometimes lead us into a dance of pursuit and withdrawal with our partners. We’ll delve into why 80% of couples fall into this relationshiip pattern and how our past experiences shape the way we reach for or respond to our loved ones.

Dr. Hawkins brings a unique perspective to the table, teaching us how to navigate emotional signals, the effects of emotional flooding, and the importance of a "mission" focus in our relationships. In discussing implications for military coouuples, we discuss the invaluable role of rituals in maintaining connections despite physical distance and the strategy of visual and emotional connection during times of separation.

For all you military couples out there, we understand the nuances of emotional regulation that your lifestyle demands. From turning down the dimmer switch of emotions during deployments, to flicking it back on to reconnect with family post-deployment, this episode aims to shed light on the delicate balance needed for a secure attachment bond – a cornerstone of resilient relationships.

As always, remember that while our podcast is packed with valuable insights, it's not a substitute for professional therapy. We encourage you to take our attachment quiz (link below) to gain a deeper understanding of your relationship's dynamics and know when it may be time to seek counseling.

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• Access the ARE: Are You There for Me? Relationship Quiz to help you understand the quality and security of your relationship
• Read the show notes for this episode here.